evile

This is a GREAT discussion!

http://community.livejournal.com/polyamory/2188917.html

I especially like the list provided by one of the posters:

from http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/6278/25_ways_to_tell_if_your_relationship.html

25 Ways to Tell if Your Relationship is Toxic
1) Your partner puts you down verbally, in private or in front of others.
2) Your partner tells you he/she loves you but behavior shows otherwise.
3) Your partner doesn't want you to see or talk to friends or family.
4) Your partner is jealous of the time you spend with your kids. [pets, hobbies, etc.]
5) Your partner shows up often at your work unexpectedly or opens your mail.
6) Your partner calls you often to see what you are doing.
7) You cry often or feel depressed over your relationship.
8) Your partner says you would have the perfect relationship if only you would change.
9) Your partner wants you to be dependent on him/her.
10) Your partner does things for you and then uses them to make you feel obligated.
11) Your thoughts, opinions, accomplishments, or words are devalued.
12) You don't know who you are anymore without him/her, or how you would survive.
13) Your friends/family don't like your partner or don't think he/she is good for you.
14) You have changed things about yourself to suit your partner, even when it is not your taste.
15) You always go where your partner wants to, like movies, restaurants, etc.
16) Your partner has made you feel afraid or unsafe, and you have been afraid to speak the truth at times for fear of upsetting him/her (walking on eggshells).
17) You don't feel you have control of your life anymore.
18) Your self-esteem is lower since you've been with your partner.
19) You think it's up to you to make the relationship work.
20) You keep secrets about your relationship from others who love you because they wouldn't understand.
21) Your partner makes you feel unattractive or stupid.
22) Your partner accuses you of cheating and is overly jealous.
23) Your partner can be really sweet to you one minute, and really mean the next.
24) Your partner seems really sweet/loving to you when he/she thinks you are about to leave the relationship, or after he/she has been mean to you.
25) You can't remember the last time you felt happy for more than a few days straight.

If you need help with your relationship, talk to a friend or family member, a clergyman, a counselor, or call your local mental health center. If you are in danger, help is available at The National Domestic Violence Hotline, (800) 799-SAFE, where someone can put you in touch with ... shelters and other resources. Remember, no one can take care of you as well as YOU can. Get the help you need.

http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/?p=34

Being Used

Posted by: Goddess of Java in relationships, boundaries

Relationships can be good and fulfilling things — no doubt about it. They can bring joy, help and mutual comfort to all involved.

However, there is a problem. People are people.

Sometimes they’re just fine people.

Sometimes they’re rescuers.

Sometimes they’re users.( Read more... )

I was browsing through friends' LJs and memories and such and I found this quote. It's brilliant and perfect for today:

from http://zoethe.livejournal.com/170683.html:
( Read more... )
According to Webster's Dictionary, drama is "a state, situation or series of events involving intense conflict or force." Passion, on the other hand, is defined as "a devotion to some activity, object or concept." ( Read more... )

Current Mood: hopeful
Current Location: work
Current Music: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f0v-7t9UJQs

14 Nov. 10:56 am

Apparently L&B and [Cousin B] did brunch w/[brother A] & [rubber_pig] on SAturday. They were
an hour and a half late & just brought the baby. [Aunt L] fed the baby and
ignored the conversation. [brother A] didn't ask [Cousin B] how he was or anything,
just told him his hair was just like [brother A]'s at that age, and then [brother A]
said something like 'you're a sophomore now, right?"

ugh. I'm glad I missed it.

Oct. 28, 2005

evile: tGIF, baybeeeee! Phone duty from HECK
SkyeDS: nods. tedious stuff today.
evile: I had a caller, nicest guy in the world, english NOT his first
language, we both got very frustrated.
evile: Oh well, less than 1.5 hours and I'm gone for the weekend.
eyes on the prize :)
SkyeDS: nodnods
evile: Enjoyed a greatly successful evening wearing my new jeans, new
pink lacey froufrou underthings (and getting out of them) :)
evile: I mailed [G/stepdad/sineater's dad]'s card & present yesterday, emailed him this
a.m. and hopefully will find/make time to call him later today.
SkyeDS: nod. I'm going to remind sineater, he might not need it, but
better safe than sorry. He's had a surfeit on his mind lately
evile: *nod*
evile: That kind of stuff is far more important to him than [G/stepdad/sineater's dad] lets
on.
SkyeDS: I know he's long since had [G/stepdad/sineater's dad]'s presents and stuff, I think
it's just a matter of making sure they get to him
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: I hope Roboho doesn't take issue with my answer to her
question in my LJ
evile: ?
SkyeDS: she asked me how do you convince a horse you're boss
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: and I explained that you don't, but what you do instead, and
why
evile: I don't think she's used to dealing with creating win-win
situations. Her own personal life seems to be a series of contests of
will, which she MUST win at all costs.
SkyeDS: well, she'll have to get over that if she really wants to ride
evile: *shrug* I've long since quit bothering with her.
evile: Today has been a lovely day of boundary testing. kaleon tried
to drag me into some drama, Mom tried to talk to me about the Pig's
youngest child...ugh.
evile: I asked kaleon to unfriend me in LJ. I can't stop him from
reading me, but I've never friended him back, and I can certainly
limit my public posts to non-drama-creating items.
SkyeDS: kaleon doesn't seem to understand the words "move on." Which
I have, but anyway.
SkyeDS: what is with your Mom and [the rubber pig]? I thought she was done :(
evile: Mom was telling me about the baby,and seeing pictures, and bla
bla, and I just can't take that. I can't. I'm sorry, it's not the
kids fault, but I can't
SkyeDS: why is it that common sense is so f'ing uncommon?
SkyeDS: why would you encourage yourself to become attached when
there's nothing you can do?
evile: exactly.
evile: Why, yes, Mom, I'd love to put my hand in the blender and let
[the rubber pig] turn it on.
SkyeDS: as for the other...what did he think was going to happen when
he is constantly claiming sineater's place (as my husband) and then
sineater's artwork as his own?
SkyeDS: although I find it amusing truly that sineater got more upset at
the artwork than the other ROFL, I know, I'm easily amused
evile: I don't have a clue about any of that...I really actually
don't.
SkyeDS: I wish folks (kaleon, your Mom, everyone else) would just
*think* every now and again
SkyeDS: like, with the logical parts of their brains, and not
whatever other part of their anatomies theyy're thinking with (or not)
evile: Well, and with Mom, why set me up? Tell me about [brother A]'s latest
fuck up trainwreck bullshit and I can't help but feel angry and
negative...she has told me she doesn't care to hear my negative
opinions, so why does she bring him and his life up?
evile: I don't have anything nice to say, I don't want to say
anything at all. But if that's all you'll fucking talk about, what am
I supposed to do?
SkyeDS: nods (been there done that many tshirts). I have no answer,
only empathy and sympathy.
evile: kaleon sent me this faux-sympathetic thing because of
the 'happy birthday' I posted to [brother A] on the 26th. He assumed it was
for sineater.
SkyeDS: because, you know, "A" ... as in "Brother A" stands for sineater
SkyeDS: sineater starts with the letter A
evile: *shrug* he doesn't know me, or anything about me, and just
keeps on making assumptions and trying to get me in shit with y'all.
And I am working VERY hard on staying OUT of shit with y'all.
SkyeDS: I figured he thought all that abuse stuff you posted for [brother A]
was really for sineater
SkyeDS: he didn't start with the "abuse" and "torture" language until
after that
SkyeDS: pointyheaded, I believe you called it ;)
evile: If y'all are going to be pissed off at me, I'd just as soon
have you pissed off at me for something I actually did or said, not
some ASSholes ASSumptions.
SkyeDS: I can't control sineater's emotions. He can't control them
either for that matter. But you need not worry about me.
evile: *nod*
evile: I shouldn't let it get to me.Some people just have an
exagerated sense of their own importance...I dont' have the time or
energy for the grandiose machinations people are attributing to me.
SkyeDS: I know he feels that any relationship with you and kaleon is
like him still being cordial with Xtal.
SkyeDS: I told him, well, if you feel that way, maybe you should say
that, I'm s ure she'd understand that.
SkyeDS: something tells me he didn't, did he
evile: what 'relationship' is all i fuckin wanna know.
SkyeDS: kaleon has been bandying about that you hug him, call him
honey, etc
evile: I can't control who has me friended on LJ or, to some extent,
who posts in my LJ
evile: I haven't seen him since he lived in Austin. When we were
friends, I certainly did, but that's been...what? 2-3 years?
SkyeDS: I think he's trying to get at me
SkyeDS: but all he's succeeding in doing is pissing sineater off
SkyeDS: not a bright boy <Shrugs>
evile: well, whatever. If sineater wants to give kaleon that kind of
power, that's sad, but his business.
SkyeDS: well, I don't understand why he's still showboating to get my
attention.
evile: Likewise, if he'd rather believe a stranger than family, it's
hurtful as hell, but I suppose I deserve it. No matter how much I
behave now, it'll never erase the famous Scorpio grudge.
SkyeDS: he isn't going to get it.
SkyeDS: I don't read his journal, I don't care if he reads mine, I
know he does (counters tell you that kind of t hing and he isn't
smart enough to hide his isp)
SkyeDS: I'm not going to friends only my LJ because he's reading it
SkyeDS: and i'm not going to censor what I say so t hat he doesn't
take it personally
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: I don't personally choose to react the way sineater has. But
then, my place hasn't been usurped nor my talent laid claim to, and I
understand why sineater feels and does what he does.
SkyeDS: that's the way he's made.
SkyeDS: it isn't the way I'm made.
SkyeDS: and kaleon's cruisin for a bruisin if he doesn't stop
<shrugs> but then he knows that, he's been here and done this
before.
evile: *shrug* and either of them laying any of this at my doorstep
is giving me much power and credit that is not mine. I could give a
shit, really.
SkyeDS: peckerlength competition ya think?
SkyeDS: I think, when sineater gets to t he point of hunting him down to
kill him, maybe I won't stop him this time. That would certainly be
one effective way (if not my preferred way) of ending the drama.
evile: they can wag their weiners all they want at one another, just
leave me the hell out of it. I have this thing called a life and
these cool folks called friends, and I don't care to give my time or
energy to that kind of nonsense.
evile: As I told sineater, if you have the time/energy to dig so hard for
stuff to fight with people about, you must be doing very well and
I'm happy for that, even if I'm sad that you're mad at me.
SkyeDS: I told him if he wanted you to understand where he was coming
from (silly me, I get hung up on communicating doncha know) that he
should tell you what he told me about it being like the situation
with Xtal.
evile: *shrug* I'm sorry he feels that way, but as you say, it's for
him to discuss with me.
SkyeDS: I should know by now to keep my gemini communicating self out
of shit
evile: being misunderstood and/or blamed for things that aren't mine,
make me want to overcommunicate. Be mad at me, fine, but do it for
the right reasons.
SkyeDS: please don't take this personally or intended as offense, it
is just my observation that the Stephan family does not appreciate
communication.
evile: *shrug*
evile: I'm not a Stephan, why would that offend me?
SkyeDS: I just figured it would probably come across the wrong way
SkyeDS: I do that often ya know
SkyeDS: ok, I'm sorry, but I'm still laughing about Brother A = sineater,
and sineater's birthday isn't till next Friday (what a dumbshit) ROFL
evile: You're entitled to your opinion, and I think you're right.
It's pretty hard to communicate with a person who is standing there
with their hands over their ears screaming 'la la la' which is pretty
much how I feel whenever I try to deal w/sineater
evile: I still love him, would do anything for him, but for my sanity
and happiness, I can't be involved in his life or these needless
fights he seems to pick with people
SkyeDS: I suppose it would be feeding the trolls to post how funny I
think that is in my LJ
SkyeDS: I know, bad Skye, bad. I won't do it, but it's funny to
think about it all the same.
SkyeDS: "oops! did I say that outloud? was that my outside voice?
I'm s orry, I have Tourettes, you must forgive me." ;P ROFL
evile: I told kaleon he needed to not assume things, and then he
decided to throw ancient history in my face (because there is no
CURRENT history, do you understand) and at that point I said, "can
you please unfriend me?"
SkyeDS: he has diarrhea of the mouth disease...otherwise known as
open mouth before engaging brain disease
SkyeDS: the w hole reason sineater thinks that there is current
relationship is because kaleon told him so
evile: whatever.
evile: You can't prove a negative, and I'm not going to give him any
more ammo if I can help it.
SkyeDS: nevermind that kaleon is not a trustworthy source of
information, as I thought was well established, but what do I know
SkyeDS: I need one of those trendy black tshirts with white writing
that says I don't know, and I didn't do it
SkyeDS: I told you about running into a complete stranger who is part
of Rockdale's Roping Circle that told me that everyone in t he entire
Circle knows I'm a bitch for a proven fact even though none of them
have ever met me?
evile: that's unfortunate.
SkyeDS: so I guess I can't wear my desired "not a bitch, The Bitch,
and that's MS BITCH to you" tshirt
evile: if that's not a label you wish people to apply to you, you
probably shouldn't apply it to yoruself, no.
SkyeDS: the whole thing is just too fucking funny (because I'd rather
laugh than cry or be angry about it)
SkyeDS: you talk about [brother A] being abused, kaleon assumes you're
talking about sineater, and of course if sineater is abused, t hen kaleon was
abused, and then he tells Chris Loy that I'm torturing sineater
SkyeDS: and she believes an ex that I left what, three times? I lost
count
evile: *shrug* and all of this is my fault, HOW?
SkyeDS: and she says she wants to believe it isn't true but does she
ask sineater, who would know better than kaleon?
SkyeDS: of course not
evile: So people need to leave me the hell out of it.
SkyeDS: I've already told him that because these people choose to
make you a hub doesn't mean you chose to be a hub willingly
evile: I am nice to chrisloy becuase we have friends and groups in
common.
evile: kaleon has me friended on his LJ, I have ZERO control over who
friends me. there are complete strangers I've never met who have
friended me. Who knows why?
SkyeDS: this is turning into that game in school where you whisper
one thing into someone's ear, it goes around the classroom and is
something completely different at the end.
evile: Well, I want out of it. I don't have the time,energy, or
inclination to devote to participating in The Crazy.
evile: If sineater feels he has the time and energy to give to those
people and fighting and fussing, that's fine. But I don't.
SkyeDS: I think he was doing a good job (for him anyway) of ignoring
it, until the artwork thing.
evile: I honestly can't tell you the last time I talked to either
CHris or kaleon, Or Kili, for that matter
SkyeDS: But that's just too close to his heart.
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: every time he gets depressed, he goes to ritually sacrifice
his art, and I have to stop him (because that of course is ridiculous)
evile: [brother A] used to do the same
SkyeDS: that's like me saying, I'm depressed, so I'm going to burn
all my music books and my piano in a big bonfire and then kill my
children
evile: preaching to the choir.
SkyeDS: I am happy to see that he is embracing his art again ( you
should see the leatherwork he did recently, and I think you saw the
dragon he did for faire)
evile: nope.
SkyeDS: he painted a dragon on 24 x 36 cardboard that hobby lobby
puts behind its posters
SkyeDS: and it was awesome
evile: cool.
SkyeDS: anyway, I'm glad he's embracing his art again, I just think
that part of that is that kaleon went too far this time
SkyeDS: and I'm happy to see the good, even if the bad comes with it.
evile: *nod* It's better to channel your energy into creative things
SkyeDS: and if *I* were anything like what I'm reputed to be, I would
be pissed by now that sineater got pissed over artwork and not over being
usurped as my husband ROFL
evile: One is probably more provable than the other, objectively and
in court and such.
SkyeDS: some women would be pissed that a man's artwork was seemingly
more important to him than his wife.
SkyeDS: and I am said to be one of those women LOL
evile: I grew up in a household where Art was always more important
than people/relationships, so that just doesn't seem wierd to me, at
all.
SkyeDS: one of these days, the lies are going to come back to haunt
him.
SkyeDS: sooner or later
SkyeDS: probably sooner as egregious as he's been about it
SkyeDS: and anyone who on the strength of what he says online
believes that we were married, that I abused him (particularly after
he abused me to the point of having sineater and sonar0m call the cops on
him more than once)
evile: I just wish he'd get therapy, get help, be happy with his own
life and achievements, and not have to waste so much time and energy
on fighting to make himself feel worthwhile.
SkyeDS: or any other silly thing he says, is going to get what they
deserve for their stupidity too
SkyeDS: I don't understand why there are so many women who believe
him a nd are seemingly turned on by this, but whatever.
evile: As entertainingly trainwrecky as it is, I'm not reading his
LJs anymore, even if he keeps me friended.
evile: And no matter how sad and pathetic he is, I won't chip in with
any words of encouragement.
SkyeDS: I will be the first to admit that it was very hard to not
look at his LJ when I was bored.
SkyeDS: because it IS ROFL funny
SkyeDS: but it is just, I don't know what words to use, because sad,
pathetic, whatever, just aren't enough, but yeah, those things, that
he reads my LJ and thinks I read his, or that I still give a damn.
evile: I have better things to do with myself. I'm sorry as hell if
sineater is upset, because I love him...but I am not going to be in the
middle of any of that silly stuff.
SkyeDS: I understand now that he thinks the readings I do for people
who wish to remain anonymous are all about him
SkyeDS: give it long enough, sineater will find something else to be
upset about, a nd forget about all this.
SkyeDS: that's what usually happens anyway
evile: yup
evile: and, honesty, the silent treatment from sineater is not all that
different from 'normal relationship with sineater'...so *shrug*
SkyeDS: it woudl be very bad and troll feeding to poke public fun of
someone who thinks that sineater starts with A
SkyeDS: very bad
SkyeDS: back AWAY from the keyboard.
SkyeDS: I can resist anything! (but temptation :P)
evile: I think you have better things to do with your time. Nose
hairs or toenails to attend to, perhaps?
SkyeDS: I know.
SkyeDS: no kitty on the keys, no no no
evile: It takes a longer for satisfaction for being a mature
responsible adult to set in, than it does to indulge in childish
spitefulness, but in the long run, it *does* feel better. I know.
I've been there, done that.
SkyeDS: eventually I'll get some other irresponsible urge and forget
about this one
SkyeDS: although I can be very singleminded for an easily distracted
double gem. But then I do have as much earth in my chart as air,
almost as many of my signs are in Taurus as in anything else.
SkyeDS: what aggravates me is, I thought that's part of what my LJ
was for, indulging myself in things I shouldn't express elsewhere.
SkyeDS: I hate not being able to say what I want when I want because
somebody else is being pointyheaded.
evile: yeah, but then friends lock it, silly-head.
evile: or mark it 'private'
SkyeDS: <pouts> but that's no fun <slides outside of arm's length>
evile: Your friends are the only ones who will laugh and appreciate
it ANYWAY, so why not friends lock stuff that will only be drama-
fodder if left public, is the way I see it.
SkyeDS: no wonder people get mad at me for being the voice of reason
all the time
SkyeDS: :P
evile: And of course I friends lock everythign about 'where I'm going
and what I'm doing'
SkyeDS: reason sucks :P
evile: most of the time, yup
evile: well, I'm going to run past the girls room before I clock out,
so I'm gone. Y'all have a good weekend.
SkyeDS: I know that this is not a laughing matter to you or sineater, and
I'm not trying to be insensitive
SkyeDS: I just think the whole thing is funny
SkyeDS: wind to your wings :)
evile: I'm sure it'll be funny to me after a while too. :) see ya!

Sep. 9, 2005

Date: Thu, 8 Sep 2005 10:02:48 -0700 (PDT)
From: mom
Subject: Re: Armchair Psychology: [Rubber Pig]
To: me

You are so smart. Not that I would have done anything
differently, but you were right about everything. I
wrote a letter to the CPS caseworker today and
included the borderline mother outline in it. I hope
she sees [Rubber Pig] in it. I hope to hell they get some
help! I'm okay now with the girls being taken out of
the home. It kills me to see Yummy's spirit broken,
and Lyrah sink farther and farther into her quiet
depression. It even hurts me to see Blis given this
"power," which she cannot handle in any way. Mostly,
I think about Sadie. Sweet baby girl. I'm glad that
everyone is good to her now, except [Rubber Pig]. If [Rubber Pig]
died tomorrow, I would not be sad.

I'm going to be busy, as the tree thing is a go and
I'm going to ask the PC commissioners if I can use
their space for children's theatre--Nesbit and LaPurr
ride again!!! Bill wants to continue with SAUL and
some original work called GENESIS, for liturgical
drama at his church. The woman who is writing the
music for the last play I wrote wants to produce it in
the spring!!!

I'm glad to be busy. Money would be nice, but I've
never been able to make much money here. If you can,
look for a cheap ticket for [sister H] to come down there
at Thanksgiving. I think [stepdad/G] will pay for it. [sister H]
is sad right now, as she and JImmy are breaking up for
the last time. All her plans are in disarray. Write
her on email. I don't know where she is going next,
so I don't know where real mail can reach her. G.
and I offered to help her in any way we could, so
we're waiting to hear back from her.

I don't think she has a plan yet, but she wants to be
out of Jimmy's apt. by the end of the month. She has
lots of young friends who can help her move her stuff
to storage or to her next place. I'm hoping she'll
store things and take a room or very small apt for
now, as she will be alone, and I don't want her to
spend all her money just to live. Bloomington can be
very expensive. Amy lives in a small apt. and seems
very happy. Maybe one of those will become available.

I'm working on an altar, too, "Sharper than a
Serpent's Tooth." But I don't feel pressed by it, so
I think I've alrady worked though a lot of my hurt.
Now it's just a matter of gluing it together. Life is
sweet, Mom
==============

Date: Fri, 9 Sep 2005 07:27:55 -0700 (PDT)
From: me
Subject: Re: Armchair Psychology: [Rubber Pig]
To: mom

I'm glad you're staying busy and being creative. It
really helps to have a positive outlet for all the
ugly feelings that get stirred up.

I hope you know that I really HATE being right when it
means people I love get hurt.

I hope the CPS worker finds some useful info to use.

I am sorry as hell for those kids, even Blis. She
can't help it that she's awful; she has had no
positive role models in life, except for you and [aunt L],
briefly. It's really very sad.

You are braver and stronger than me, for being with
them & loving them as much as you could for as long as
their horrible parents would let you. I am sorry for
being weak and walking away, but it's the only thing I
felt I could do.

I sent H. email a week or so ago, she hasn't
written me back. I wish she wasn't so determined to be
independent sometimes; she has people who love her and
would do anything she needed, but she doesn't reach
out as much as she could. I know that feeling; pride
is tough to overcome.

I love you.

Aug. 29, 2005

evile: hey :) how was the 2nd weekend of faire?
SkyeDS: better than the first
SkyeDS: how was yours?
evile: I'm glad.
Mine was good. Laid back.
SkyeDS: they're talking about a better site next year, I'm hoping
they extend to discussions of a better time too.
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: I suppose that rationally it is silly to want to look for
another job just because he yelled at me, as in directed at me, not
at something else, because his memory is faulty - and he'd rather
yell at me and say it was my memory at fault.
evile: *nod* that's hurtful.
SkyeDS: when I write down instructions in my daily .txt file the
instant I get them, every single day.
SkyeDS: word for word, and I repeat them back to him.
evile: yup.
SkyeDS: I mean, I've been here more than a year and a half and this
is the first time this has happened to this degree.
SkyeDS: but it makes me VERY angry.
SkyeDS: and I've told him that being yelled at makes me very angry.
SkyeDS: I have been very tolerant of his losing shit and hollaring at
me to find it, and other such related foibles. But this is the first
time he has directly shifted responsibility for his mistake to me.
evile: that sucks.
SkyeDS: and for some reason my gut reaction is, oh no, homey don't
play that, that's a deal breaker.
SkyeDS: I understand that tolerance like most streets is two ways,
and that he is very tolerant of a lot of my failings too.
SkyeDS: but still.
evile: Probably time to restate that boundary. "I'm sorry you're
frustrated and angry, but I don't respond well to being yelled at.
What can we do to solve this problem together?"
SkyeDS: you're absolutely right.
SkyeDS: and I don't have the balls.
SkyeDS: I will have to find them somewhere somehow.
evile: *nod* It's hard. I know.
SkyeDS: I tried once to remind him of what actually was said and he
yelled at me again so I completely retreated.
SkyeDS: even if I haven't got a snowflake's chance in hell of getting
him to admit that he remembers wrong
SkyeDS: he doesn't need to be yelling at me.
SkyeDS: it's bad enough that he's mad because I won't back down, and
I'm mad because he won't either. Yelling just makes it bad enough to
make me want to walk on the spot.
evile: *nod* remove focus from 'who's right' to 'this isn't a
productive way to traet one another and let's work on doing better in
the future'
SkyeDS: maybe, "maybe we ought to agree to disagree on who isn't
remembering correctly. But the yelling is at issue."
evile: default is 'boss is always right' anyway...so it's rather
pointless to fuss and get upset about that fact.
SkyeDS: well, if he's going to make a habit out of this and fall back
on I'm b oss I'm right he can find another lackey
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: and he's been an attorney long enough to know that legal
admins are not just girls who work in law offices
SkyeDS: he won't find another legal professional in this town with
certification and a bachelor's who will work for 12 an hour
evile: yup
SkyeDS: because for that little, most of us can just as easily work
as receptionists through temp agencies and not put in 20+ an hour
effort
SkyeDS: I was thinking last week that if I had a job at Dell, it
would simplify life somewhat.
evile: yeah....
SkyeDS: I thought about it, discussed it with sineater and then dismissed
it out of my head, right up until he was yelling at me the first
thing through the door this morning.
evile: yeah...that's not a good way to start the work week.
SkyeDS: oh well - I still don't know how CRW went, I shall poke my
nose into that as a distractin
evile: sounds like it went off pretty well, actually.
SkyeDS: that's good, I was hoping it was. These kids are so all or
nothing that if it hadn't most of them would have thrown a fit and
said no more CRW ever WAAH
evile: yeah. I'm glad it turned out OK.
evile: The hot sauce festival was good; got there right after they
opened, the lines weren't bad at all. They got bad by teh time we
left, around 1:30 or so.
SkyeDS: I do need to find out who's running it next year so I can
submit my list of park suggestions
SkyeDS: we ate at PFChang's in Dallas last night. Their sauces have
been superlative every time I've been (all of twice I admit)
evile: I hear good things about PFChangs, but I've not been yet.
SkyeDS: I would recommend it to you.
SkyeDS: I still haven't visited T&S yet, that's still on my list.
evile: *nod* I'll have to check it out. There's one up at the
Arboretum.
SkyeDS: so AJ finally got his shot at CRW.
evile: *nod*
evile: My boss occasionally comes through; [Aunt L]'s former AA & friend
died on Sunday,and the funeral is Tuesday. Boss is letting me flex
my time & work extra today so I can leave tomorrow early to look
after Ben.
SkyeDS: :(
evile: it's hard to know what to do...but knowing Ben will have
company at home after school will hopefully take some of the load off
her mind, so she can be there for her friend's husband & family.
evile: he's practically an adult, and I know he can look out for
himself, but [Aunt L] worries.
SkyeDS: nods
evile: he gets annoyed, so I'm always pointing out that I'm 35 and
she still worries like that about me, sometimes, too.
evile: his mom was excessively permissive (but really uncaring) and I
think he is sometimes ambivalent about living with people who not
only care about him a great deal but also enforce house rules.
SkyeDS: nods. I can see that.
evile: He does better when the rules are not only consistent, but
also have a logical purpose. Doesn't do so well with 'because it's
done that way' or 'because I said so'
SkyeDS: I didn't either at that age and I surmise you didn't either
evile: yup.
SkyeDS: intelligent minds want to know (why)
evile: exactly. Ben has major authority issues...I can't believe he'd
considered joining the military, even for a second!
SkyeDS: he did?
evile: yes. I just about fell over when he told me that.
SkyeDS: sineater said that RP showed K [brother A]'s psych report
SkyeDS: which I assume is part of his medical records?
evile: yup
SkyeDS: major violation of state and federal law there
evile: also called [Uncle B], her mom, and a bunch of other people and read
exerpts aloud.
evile: Now [brother A] is fussing that MOM violated his privacy..when [rubber pig]
is the one who gave it to her.
SkyeDS: that's what I was afraid of
SkyeDS: the state of texas is insane when it comes to privacy
SkyeDS: and the feds are worse
SkyeDS: and he might have an avenue there if it occurs to him
SkyeDS: but he can't go down that avenue without hitting [rubber pig]
collaterally
evile: *shrug* damage is done. CPS wouldn't give Mom custody of that
baby if she was the last adult on earth. That's all the pig wanted to
accomplish, the rest (alienating [brother A] from family, hurting our
feelings with hideous accucations of abuse) is just icing on the cake.
SkyeDS: nevermind that to my understanding, K doesn't want the
baby?
SkyeDS: and would not be in line to have the baby unless [brother A] were
out of the picture, either dead or rights terminated?
evile: Mom does want the baby, actually...
SkyeDS: oh.....
SkyeDS: that does complicate things a wee doesn't it....
evile: she loves all the kids, but realistically understands the baby
is the only one that is, or could be 'ours' under any circumstances.
SkyeDS: is G in agreement at being a parent again at this stage in
his life...?
evile: *shrug* I really haven't wanted to talk about it...it just
hurts me too much. I know that is cowardly and cold, but there it is.
evile: I have never seen it, I dont' wnat to see it, I wont' even
look at pictures. I don't wanna think about it.
SkyeDS: I don't mean to make worse, I'm sorry
SkyeDS: if you were cold you wouldn't be hurting
evile: I'm sorry too. I know you didn't ask out of any malicious
intent.
SkyeDS: I will just process this new information and let it
percolate. It certainly adds wrinkles and complications.
evile: *shrug* all pretty much moot. Family is 'done' with [brother A]. Mom
is done since he delivered the 'you can't see my kids ever again'
ultimatum to Mom...I've BEEN done. Nothing we can do, no reason to
keep throwing energy into that black hole.
SkyeDS: that makes no sense, she saw them, had them in unsupervised
custody, weekend before this last.
evile: nope.
SkyeDS: I think the only pertinent t hing I have to say at this point
is K better get a lawyer. A good one.
evile: *nod* [Aunt L] has found one. I think she is alot more realistic
about things than Mom.
SkyeDS: that's a relief.
evile: The Pig is always raving and carrying on about hiring lawyers
& suing everyone for every little goddamned thing, and she never
has...so I think it's pretty empty threat from her. But if the state
of TX thought my mom was doing criminal stuff, it would be out of Pig
and [brother A]'s hands.
SkyeDS: exactly.
SkyeDS: and, I know from experience that the State Board and the Feds
can be worse than criminal issues
SkyeDS: they're like the IRS, administrative powers means that you
have all the cons of actual criminal litigation but none of the pros
SkyeDS: ie, you literally are guilty until proven innocent
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: and they can throw shit at you, and you can't rebut it
evile: well, they pull questions like 'when did you stop beating your
wife?'...no matter what you answer, you're fucked
SkyeDS: precisely
SkyeDS: and they LOVE to field witnesses like [rubber pig]
SkyeDS: against whom t hey do not let you defend yourself
SkyeDS: [rubber pig] is the State of TX wet dream
evile: sick/sad.
SkyeDS: I would like not to know what I know, given this situation
SkyeDS: in terms of the new can of worms that the disclosure of PHI
(private health info)
evile: yup
SkyeDS: I don't like knowing what K might be in for, and I can't
do anything to stop it
evile: Mom had it, so I read it, too. It was sucky.
SkyeDS: and she signed the car over anyway huh
evile: yup
SkyeDS: and they wouldn't bring her back to town
evile: ts called unconditional love...what parents are supposed to
have for their kids, or something like that.
SkyeDS: rofl right
SkyeDS: unconditional for the boys. not for the girls. just an
observation.
evile: *shrug* no sense in allowing my own existence to become
poisoned. Past is over and done. I'm a good person (in spite of or
because of) and that's what counts.
SkyeDS: might as well change your middle name to Kassandra (of Troy)
evile: *shrug* not letting it poison my life.
SkyeDS: although I guess when you boil it down "I tried to tell
you..." is just another form of "I told you so"
evile: I never say that.
evile: there's no point in being right, or being acknowledged as
being right. People I love are hurting, and that sucks, and being
right is just not important in the face of that.
evile: I'd give anything to have been wrong, and for my brother to
have found a loving, sane relationship.
SkyeDS: whether or not you vocalize it, it remains fact
SkyeDS: people remember that it's fact
SkyeDS: and some of them hold it against you
evile: easier to be mad at me than the people who caused the problem.
whatever. I'm not letting it poison my life.
evile: [rubber pig]'s mom told my mom that she's gotten the 'you'll never
see my children again' ultimatum many times, and she always gets to
see them again, eventually. So mom isn't too worried. And the kids
are all she really cares about at this point.
SkyeDS: I need to find the line for the eyecandy and get in it
(reading your bus post)
SkyeDS: non sequitur, I'm s orry
evile: heehee. That was a fun afternoon. Makes me tempted to stay
late and miss the flyer more often
SkyeDS: if there were a bus that ran to downtown from any point
between the office and the ranch I'd take it
SkyeDS: by that I mean, Round Rock, Taylor, Hutto, etc
evile: I think there's a park & ride in RR. Maybe one in Leander as
well.
SkyeDS: I need my own helicopter to commute with. ;)
evile: I would never cheat on Sweetie, but that doesn't mean I can't
look & fantasize. :)
SkyeDS: who cares where you get the appetite as long as you eat at
home
evile: *nod* And Sweetie & I girl-watch together a lot :)
SkyeDS: sineater and I used to watch adult fare together
SkyeDS: my tastes are a lot more exotic than his though
SkyeDS: life is easier if you join them, maybe even exceed them, t
han make it a deal breaker to try and beat them (at porn, flirting,
stuff some women get in a wad about)
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: when Jason and Grayson came to visit over New Year's, they
found my adult collection, thought it was sineater's
SkyeDS: and when I came in they were trying to hide it because they
didn't want to get him in trouble
SkyeDS: I shrugged and said, that isn't his, it's mine, a nd walked
out
evile: heehee.
SkyeDS: what people think they know about my sex life isn't anywhere
near being true, and in that aspect my life is completely boring
SkyeDS: and what people don't know that IS true would freak people
out to the point of not speaking ot me again I'm afraid
evile: heh.
evile: it's nobody's business but the people involved...and if people
don't have anything better to do than speculate on your sexual
activities, that definitely means they need to get more of their
own :P
SkyeDS: I don't think some people would understand that just because
some things seem to flip my switch to read about or watch, doesn't
mean I would do them myself
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: is about time they let you off your leash and out of your
cage?
evile: No such luck. I'm staying until 4:30 today so I can leave
early tomorrow.
SkyeDS: ah
evile: it's not so bad, it only seems like the extra 1/2 hour takes
forever. I have a lot of crap to do at home before gal's nite.
SkyeDS: nodnods
evile: we found a place last week where you can do crafts on their
site, ceramics, beads, etc. We are talking about maybe doing that
next Monday, assuming they're not closed for labor day.
SkyeDS: I remember seeing that, sounds like fun
evile: yup. a lot less hassle than sponsoring a craft night at home.
evile: well, I think I'll take my paperwork on the rounds.
evile: *hugs* have a good evening :)
SkyeDS: hugs :)

Aug. 25, 2005

Yesterday, I read the psychologist's report. It was all bullshit.
Drugs and orgies and Mom letting homosexual men in to the house to
sleep with [brother A]. What a load of crap.

Apparently, [brother A] is being told by the family and his lawyer NOT to
voluntarily register as a sex offender, but there's some test that
CPS/law enforcement gives when ONLY to registered sex offendors to
pinpoint exactly what turns each individual sex offendor on...and if
you don't respond to kiddie porn images, they put something on your
record to that effect, BUT you're STILL on record as a sex offendor.
What a catch 22!

ANYWAY, [rubber pig] gave the psych. report to Mom and Mom made a copy.
[rubber pig] had also been calling [Uncle B], her mom, and possibly the Sawyers,
to read exerpts of it aloud over the phone. But for whatever reasons,
last night it turned into "mom took the confedential report without
permission" and "Mom violated [brother A]'s confidentiality" (like [rubber pig]
didn't, by reading it over the phone to anyone and everyone? CRAZY)
and [brother A] and [rubber pig] both called Mom to harangue her. At one point
[rubber pig] told Mom to come get the car back, they didnt' want it anymore,
to which Mom replied "It's [brother A]'S car, he can do whatever he wants
with it" and then [brother A] played the 'you can never see the children
again' card on her. Mom hung up. Then they called [dad] and [rubber pig]
started screaming at him. Dad hung up. [brother A] called Dad back and
called him a 'son of a bitch' and told him he couldn't hang up on his
wife. Dad hung up on him.

I am hoping these ungrateful assholes will realize, at some point,
that it's extremely poor manners and a really BAD idea to abuse the
people who care about you & are able to give you stuff and money when
you need it.

Mom was so hurt. She really loves those kids.

I am sure Dad was hurt, too, but he doesn't show it.

Aug. 24, 2005

Posted in LJ for my gals, sineater, and ben:

So, Mom went to San Antonio yesterday and signed over her car title
to my brother A. who could then not even be bothered to drive her
back to Austin for her troubles.

The Pig gave Mom all the paperwork to read, regarding A's allegations
of abuse and whatnot. Apparently our mother was too busy doing drugs
and having orgies during our childhood to feed, clothe, or care for
us. Funny...I kind of remember her working for a living and feeding &
clothing us just fine. I remember regular bed times and homework and
lectures about grades. I remember birthday parties with homemade
cakes and pinyatas and Mom painting our faces as clowns and animals.
I don't remember any drugs or orgies or widespread neglect. Wierd how
that works, eh?

Mom was devastated, of course. How could you not be, when your child
is sitting there telling you what a terrible mother you are, and bla
bla bla? But it's all that sick bitch and her projecting her own
issues onto A. and our family, and oh, incidentally, making damn
fucking sure we NEVER get access to A's child.

Mom wanted to show me pictures of the kids that she took this past
weekend. I had to say 'no' like 4 times, pretty firmly. What's the
damn point?

I told her I didn't ever want to see the baby, or think about it,
because it just makes me too sick and sad. She said "What if I got
custody of her, would you want to have anything to do with her then?"

My eyes just filled up & my heart broke just a little bit more...I
told her not to talk about it anymore, because I couldn't take it.

She was so sad and angry, too...but I just can't DO this.

That's my neice...that I NEVER will meet, or never have a
relationship with...because I can't give that sick fucking evil bitch
that kind of power over me. I will NEVER get into another situation
where some goddamned tapeworm of a human being uses my love for a
child against me. I will kill her, the baby, and/or myself first
before I let myself hurt that much EVER again.

X fucked me up way more than I really want to think about. I am so
mad at my brother A for being so spineless and weak-minded and
letting the pig brainwash him like that. I am so fucking sad.

But nobody will EVER see me cry over this.

Fuck 'em all.
==========

Mom also mentioned that [rubber pig] told her she didn't like me, was being
all coy and dancing around about it,and then finally came out and
said "oh, I guess I just don't like her very much" and Mom
said "Well, she doesn't like you, either" which apparently shut [rubber pig]
up for a good minute. Now, what the fuck was the point of that??? I
do know the urge to say something so shocking, so cutting that it
stops the spew of sewage from the psycho-mouth and Yes, I've done
it...but for me it was always something more along the lines of
finally letting go and telling someone exactly what *I* think of
them, not some kind of 'siccing' someone on someone else. It's just
not productive to sow any more discord between me and [rubber pig]. And
because I got out of the drama so early, I may be someone that [brother A]
feels like he can come to later, since I'm not completely wrung out
and tapped out. *sigh* But I guess not, if the pig knows I don't like
her. I mean, yeah, it's obvious, but ...yeah. Oh well. I think Skye
was right in her statement, something like 'the next time we see him,
it will be in his grave'...I think that's entirely too possible. And
what's sad is that I'm so mad at him right now for hurting Mom, [dad],
[Aunt L], [Uncle B], and you so much...I am not sure if I could actually be sad
to see him go.

Aug. 15, 2005

evile: hey :) How was your weekend?
SkyeDS: largely unproductive but oh well. What little got done was
good.
SkyeDS: Sitting here listening to the $100+ worth of music I bought
evile: that's good. I heard the Drandmir thing had drama. glad
Imissed it.
SkyeDS: and I have just decided that for classical I'm going to use 6
Dances from the Nutcracker
SkyeDS: I don't care that they aren't period.
SkyeDS: these are fantasy faires
SkyeDS: what happened at Drandmir?
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: all I know is Jinx didn't have a good time (ie what's in
her lj)
evile: Oh, I dunno, Sharjinka had some kind of misunderstandign with
someone. And of course rather than tell the person who hurt her
feelings, she's going to post it on her LJ.
SkyeDS: I guess it is innate for a reenACTment group to cherish drama
evile: yup
SkyeDS: most of Drandmir ignores me except when they want something
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: and then when they do want something, I try to provide, and
half the time that's turned down
SkyeDS: <shrug>
SkyeDS: I'm a little disappointed that I didn't take off more after
fasting Saturday, but the inches were nice
evile: *nod* that's very cool. Feeling more energy?
SkyeDS: more mental clarity yes
SkyeDS: still tired because I haven't slept enough
evile: cool :)
SkyeDS: but that's because I have bad sleep habits
SkyeDS: no more waking up between 1 - 3 am, and that was due to diet
evile: I had bad dreams last night. Mind is really pushing me to get
into another job.
SkyeDS: I remember my dreams more now
SkyeDS: and they're very weird
evile: yup. that happened when I started taking flaxseed & epo
SkyeDS: I haven't even started on that yet
SkyeDS: I'm going to though
evile: *nod* good stuff, I swear by it
SkyeDS: I think there's flax in my supplements.
SkyeDS: I mixed my beloved strawberry banana smoothies with yogurt
evile: sounds good.
SkyeDS: I like them better straight but I need the yogurt to replace
the good flora in my system that I killed along with the bad
SkyeDS: "miracle juice" = cranberry, orange, lemon, cinnamon, nutmeg,
ginger and water concoction
SkyeDS: I have decided I could happily live on strawberry banana
smoothies and orange juice all day, and apples when I need to chew
something
evile: that's good
SkyeDS: do you know how long it's taken others to move around
laterally at the state?
evile: nope.
evile: what I think is fun is when people get promoted, don't like
it, and go back to their old job and somehow manage to retain the
higher rate of pay.
SkyeDS: be handy if you could figure out how
evile: yah.
SkyeDS: Hugh hasn't been here this morning and hasn't called, I
wonder if I should be worried
evile: hm. Probably not. Mondays are good for skipping work,if you
can :)
SkyeDS: I'd like to work a 4/10 but that's not going to happen when I
drive 2 hours every day, even though I don't take lunch hour
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: oh man.
SkyeDS: I was having a hard enough time trying to figure out what
from Last Temptation I'd like to use
SkyeDS: and now that I have the Flamenco and Saidi, it's going to be
even harder, and I still haven't put together choreography
SkyeDS: and it's THIS Saturday.
evile: *nod* yup. it's coming up quick.
SkyeDS: I think I'll email J/B tomorrow and ask her if she's got
anything on paper. If she does could I buy her lunch and pick it up
then, because we really need to work every night this week.
SkyeDS: rather than walk through practice tomorrow.
evile: yeah.
SkyeDS: there he is - car trouble
evile: Unless Mom wants to go to Ravens Loft, I think I'll end up
staying in town this weekend.
evile: car trouble on a monday....major suck!
SkyeDS: Courtney's car that is. He gave her his father's Cadillac
evile: *nod*
evile: My boss gets back from vacay tomorrow. I am going to ask her
for some time off to spend with Mom.
SkyeDS: they came this weekend past, or are coming this weekend next?
SkyeDS: I forgot
evile: no 'they'. just mom.
evile: she got here yesterday and will be here about a week, she's
thinking.
evile: [brother A] and the Pig are telling everyone--family, friends,
friends of Gary's & the family, CPS, everyone, that Mom
abused/molested the girls.
evile: I *really* want her DEAD.
SkyeDS: omfg
evile: Dead.
SkyeDS: none of us are safe, are we.
evile: Mom has been an educator for over 20 years. If there was *any*
inappropriate behavior on her part, EVER, she would not still be
certified to teach in at least 4 states.
SkyeDS: that's all your Mom and I need. Our lives are built around
children.
evile: Makes me sick.
evile: Every time I think "this person can't sink to any further
depth of filth and slime" she DOES.
SkyeDS: maybe we should ask onyxlynxx what to do to protect ourselves
SkyeDS: I'd ask Linda if she were still here
evile: & dragging my much-beloved but pretty goddamned stupid brother
along with her.
evile: you can't prove a negative. The best defense, IMHO, is to just
laugh in her fuckin' face if she ever gets the ovaries to bring these
accusations to you in person.
SkyeDS: I'm hoping K never hears from the CPS. But I'm thinking
depending on who there gets their paws on this, sometimes outcry is
all they seem to need.
SkyeDS: given what's happened to Kelly and Stephanie
evile: Mom is calling the caseworker herself.
SkyeDS: if resources weren't an issue (money time aggravation) I'd
suggest a defamation lawsuit
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: but then as I told sineater this morning I decided that going
after our last tenants wasn't worth those resources
SkyeDS: and that would have just been $60 in a JP court
evile: yup...
SkyeDS: but what she's doing is definitely illegal on I think more
than one account
SkyeDS: defamation/libel/slander, harassment, etc
evile: yup.
SkyeDS: I wonder if the police will end up involved
evile: *shrug* I think [rubber pig]'s main interest is in making sure the
state will never give custody of the children to anyone in our
family; I think she's accomplished that, without use of the police
SkyeDS: G must be ready to declare global thermonuclear war, surely
evile: I'm sure.
SkyeDS: and how on earth is the RP going to explain their unorthodox
living situation and history to CPS
evile: no tellin. Apparently the CPS has no problem with the ex
husband living with them and taking care of the girls.
SkyeDS: they obviously didn't mention the wedding of the magic
internet
evile: apparently, supposedly, she got a real divorce and she and
[brother A] had a real JP marriage
evile: whatever. I see her lips moving, I assume she's lying.
SkyeDS: "pre emptive" is a term bandied about a lot lately
SkyeDS: in examining my covenants, I think that the words "in order
to prevent" are more preventative than curative, in other words, "pre
emptive"
evile: right. you dont' wait for the rabid dog to bite you, you shoot
the fuckin' thing as soon as it walks into your yard.
SkyeDS: right. there are levels of pre emptive. one is shoot the
dog when it's in your yard. the other is shoot it before it's in
your yard, if you know it to be rabid, etc.
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: I think of it as "situational ethics" because I don't know
what else to call it, even though I know that term has connotations
otherwise
SkyeDS: I really do think situations need to be examined for
distinguishing minutiae before applying ethics.
SkyeDS: anyway, I think w hat I'm getting at is, I see no problem
with doing what needs to be done about her. If you want a posse
behind you, say the word.
evile: *nod* I am lucky in that I saw far enough ahead to remove
myself from the situation, so I have no personal stake in what
happens, other than really loving my family and hating to see them
hurt.
SkyeDS: she comes near me and mine, dark moon/black
candles/urine/mense blood will be the least of what she has to worry
about
SkyeDS: although often that kind of banishment by itself seems to do
the trick quite satisfactorily in past
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: hasn't [aunt L] spent as much time or more with the kids than
[K/mom]?
evile: yup, but other than the 'back surgery' thing, never without
[brother A] & [rubber pig]
SkyeDS: hopefully she will be immune from all this then
evile: it's such a witch hunt issue. child abuse/molestation....it's
hideous that someone would take away from the people who really have
abuse stories in order to further their own agenda.
evile: sort of like drunk sorority girls yelling 'rape' the morning
after because they regret sleeping with someone.
SkyeDS: that's t he reason maybe that CPS has to run down every outcry
evile: yup. what a waste of manpower, that could be used actually
taking care of kids with real problems, (other than psychopathic
bitch mothers)
SkyeDS: woulda coulda shoulda - called CPS on [rubber pig] first, maybe,
although I don't know what to have reported
evile: exactly.
evile: the GWNN Munch was fun on SAturday--got too crowded & too
noisy pretty quick, but other than that.
SkyeDS: :)
SkyeDS: couldn't eat Saturday so I spent a great deal of time
watching cooking shows
SkyeDS: real smart
evile: Saw my favorite Rope Dom and got to visit with a couple who
are my favorite dom & sub
evile: He brought his bug-bite clicker & was showing it to everyone.
I got my 15 minutes of fame last night--"And HERE'S the gal who
showed me this great new toy!"
SkyeDS: :D
SkyeDS: here's to toys and the lucre with which to obtain them ;)
evile: I can't wait to get my flash cotton in the mail to test
whether the clicker will ignite it :)
evile: $4.50, pretty cheap toy.
SkyeDS: I am tempted to call a sub shop and order a salad ahead of
time and go pick it up for lunch
evile: that sounds like a good plan :)
SkyeDS: tender chicken breast strips are topped with Parmesan, Romano
and Asiago cheese, sprinkled with spices, Peppercorn Caesar dressing
SkyeDS: nummy
SkyeDS: I was lazy and left my own such salad makings at home this
morning
evile: oops.
evile: ooh, I got my mini torches & commando cloth on Friday :)
SkyeDS: remember that hero figure you created, with the bat wings and
the gun?
SkyeDS: no reason you couldn't play that in HFS, gun included
SkyeDS: we don't have a defined "period" the way SCA does - I don't t
hink anyway.
SkyeDS: and that could be loosely under the bailiwick of "fantasy"
SkyeDS: Hugh's birthday is tomorrow. Gift certificate is a given,
but I need to figure out whether Amazon, Cabela's, or Auto Zone or
some other auto store (I can't begin to figure out which one)
evile: I dressed like that for something, once.
evile: no gun.
evile: cabelas' was a madhouse when we drove by on Sunday...I
wouldn't shop there. But they have a website.
SkyeDS: right. I haven't been yet, I just use their website as a
benchmark when I'm pricing things.
evile: the parking lot is HUGE and is always packed whenever we go by.
SkyeDS: Hugh's been. He said it was redneck heaven.
evile: heehee. Ben said it was full of dead stuff.
SkyeDS: I'm going to scoot out of here and run to Hancock Ctr to get
me a salad, I'll BBIAB
SkyeDS: bk
SkyeDS: boss walked in right as I was walking out so my trip was
considerably delayed
evile: yeah, I bet!
evile: found a rather interesting LJ, browsing friends of friends
http://www.livejournal.com/users/alabastard/
SkyeDS: nods
SkyeDS: his profile is interesting
evile: very much so. I think y'all have a lot in common :)
SkyeDS: dangerous to know... I have a hard time seeing myself that
way, but the parents of a good many of my young friends seem to think
so
evile: not really that, that's merely a Byron quote, but the horses &
musical background, SCA, troubles with drama mongers, etc...
SkyeDS: I did like the poem about gossip
evile: yup
SkyeDS: going to explore his lj much more thoroughly when I finish
this edit project, deadline this afternoon
evile: *nod*
evile: ooh, pretty.
http://www.magicalfashions.com/catalog/catalogimages/purple%
20shawl.jpg
SkyeDS: wow
evile: I saw one similar at the last casa de luz show, red tones, and
I then went to ebay and found one in silver/muted blue/etc. Now I
find a whole jackpot of any color you can think of. I reeally like.
SkyeDS: so like I got this 60$ kuchi choker on ebay for $20
SkyeDS: but they aren't kidding about the choke part
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: I spend a lot of time pulling it away from my throat
evile: I don't usually like chokers, for that reason.
SkyeDS: it looks really good with the kuchi belt
SkyeDS: and I can't ride in either one, unless it's just a parade
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: Hugh is going to kill little Michael (and I'm not going to
stop him)
evile: oh,dear.
SkyeDS: maybe Hugh will figure out on his own why I kept steering
Michael in the direction of designing the webpage adn AWAY from my
important functions
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: Hugh wanted Michael working on filing. No, I don't think
so. The point of filing is to be able to find something without
having to tear the entire office apart looking for it.
evile: yup
SkyeDS: well, I made the deadline with a couple of hours to spare
SkyeDS: and he just stormed out to go fight with the mechanics
SkyeDS: I asked him if I could just email the edits to the publisher
myself, and he said not
SkyeDS: <shrugs>
evile: uh oh. I hope it all works out OK.
SkyeDS: he is going to kill somebody today
SkyeDS: and as long as it isn't me I don't know that I care
evile: *nod* sounds like a plan :P
SkyeDS: Can't get a date, aging badly? Stalk an old obsession with
ludicrous rumours, yeah that's a great use of time.
(Alabastard Quote, lol)
evile: *giggle* See, I thought you two had some things in common.
evile: well, time for me to pack up.
*hugs* see ya!

Aug. 1, 2005

I already posted this once, but yahoo ate it. I edited it slightly to
post in LJ (left out the parts about [Dad] giving sineater and Kate money,
because I don't think sineater would be happy knowing people were in his
business like that. I know he feels guilty and like a f up anyway,
all the time, because of skye's abuse, so why drive it home that Mom
knows the extent of Dad's bailing him out, etc. and make him feel
more worthless. It's all HER but sineater takes it on himself...suck suck
suck.)

=======================================================

Email from Mom:

[brother A] is in trouble--I know, what else is new? But
this is something you and Sweetie could help him with
if you could find it in your heart to lay aside some
of your feelings about [brother A], [rubber pig], the kids, Trae
and the whole situation

He needs a car to get to work. Could he borrow or
buy one of the Troopers?

[brother A] doesn't know I'm writing to you about this,
so if you can't or don't want to do anything, that's
100% ok.

Sometimes I get so frustrated because I can't do
anything about something I feel very strongly about.

Or I feel that if we start sending [brother A] money, it
will be this never-ending drain. I have no job, so
it's easy for me to say no, but [dad] feels very
conflicted about it.

But this would be a one shot deal for you and Sweetie,
if you decide it is something you could do. And
maybe it will be a way for you and [brother A] to start talking
again.

He's pretty much cut himself off from family and
friends, as you know.

Anyway, think about it. It was hard for me to
write this letter, but it's even harder seeing how
distant you and [brother A] are and the rift growing every day.
I love you both. Thanks, Mom

My reply:

I don't own any cars. They are Sweetie's. I will forward
this to Sweetie, but it is absolutely positively 100%
NOT my decision to make. I don't do anything with the
cars besides occasionally buy gasoline, Sweetie pays for
everything having to do with them. They are his
cars.

I am sorry as hell that [brother A] is in the situation he
is in...but really, you've said it: if I was in a
relationship with him, it would be a neverending grab
& gimme and nothing but drama and misery all the
way.
I don't have the time or energy to give to that. I'm
sorry if that hurts your feelings, but I can't live
like that. I have tried *very* hard to refrain from
saying anything negative about [brother A]/[rubber pig]/drama in
front of you, and that is as much as I can do.
===================================================
I posted in my LJ for sineater, with this comment:

I know this is just going to kick up another shit storm, or make Mom
mad at Sweetie for being so "unreasonable" and not giving [brother A] one of his
cars. ([brother A] *buy* one from Sweetie? WITH WHAT MONEY??? And it's not like
San Antonio has a shitty public transit system like Austin does. Oh
well. I didn't say either of those things to her, so I guess I didn't
do as bad as I could have. I am sure I could have managed something
more diplomatic, or just not replied. Dammit. I love all these
fucking no-win situations my loving family is forever sticking me
into.
============================
Mom's reply:

Date: Mon, 1 Aug 2005 07:42:55 -0700 (PDT)
From: mom
Subject: Re: do you have a car [brother A] could borrow for awhile?
To:me

No, it doen't hurt my feelings. A mom can always
hope. Thanks for forwarding the emil to Sweetie. Love, Mom

Jul. 18, 2005

evile: hi :) How was your weekend?
SkyeDS: it went, better than I expected it to :) how was yours?
evile: Very busy :) but good.
SkyeDS: as usual I need a weekend to get over the weekend and catch
up on sleep LOL
evile: *nod* me too.
evile: I've discovered that Christian Chatty Cathy is tired and likes
to read on the bus ride home. I've contemplated ruining her ride home
as much as she ruins my ride to work. But I'm not that mean. Mostly I
try to avoid her by taking an earlier or later bus.
SkyeDS: whatever works (and the least amount of effort is good)
evile: *nod*
evile: How were the fraternal sproggies?
SkyeDS: beautiful, bright and well-behaved
evile: cool. I'm glad :)
SkyeDS: I met the fraternal shack up too
evile: oh. How was that?
SkyeDS: the kids seem attached to her
SkyeDS: she watched me like a hawk the entire time
SkyeDS: I don't know what she was looking for
evile: that's wierd.
SkyeDS: she asked me a passively aggressive pointed question about
the horses, which I fielded, and that was as overt as it got.
SkyeDS: and I HATE covert.
evile: *nod* me too.
SkyeDS: apparently the loch ness monster (vanessa the ex) is a good
mother. Mom said that after she had the babies, she wanted to be a
mother and not a wife and therein was some part of the problem
SkyeDS: which makes me wonder if she didn't get pregnant all three
times on purpose
evile: yup. that definitely becomes a problem in a lot of marriages.
SkyeDS: instead of all three being accidents, the last two "on the
pill"
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: the pill is more than 99% accurate taken correctly. one
pregnancy on the pill maybe, two?
evile: yeah...really.
SkyeDS: maybe she has somethings in common with [rubber_pig]
SkyeDS: except she seems to be a better mother
SkyeDS: her live in has 3 kids of his own
SkyeDS: I was doing some calculating, and a noncustodial parent who
sees the kids on holidays and alternating weekends is getting the
equivalent of 8 weeks out of 52 (a year)
SkyeDS: Stuart gets his 3 weeks in the summer and a week at Xmas
SkyeDS: that's only 4 out of 52
SkyeDS: how can he say he loves his kids and live that way?
evile: *shrug* that's tough. Maybe he recognizes what's best for the
children.
SkyeDS: what's best for the children is for him to live in Atlanta GA
or somewhere close thereabouts, not in NOLA
SkyeDS: she may be a good mother, but her choice in men is suspect.
and he's not there when/if the kids need him, for whatever reason.
evile: that's always sad.
SkyeDS: Gramma fell and suffered several scalp wounds (which always
bleed badly) and a concussion
SkyeDS: Mom and Dad were gone to NOLA
SkyeDS: I'm 6 hours away
evile: yuck.
SkyeDS: who took her to the hospital and saved her life? the
neighbors.
SkyeDS: why?
SkyeDS: because they are right there, saw it in enough time to do
something about it.
SkyeDS: if Gramma were my responsibility, I would have a hard time
fulfilling that responsibility from six hours away, much less three
states away
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: and when asked why he can't stand Georgia so much that he has
to live so far away from his kids that he only sees them 4 weeks out
of a year
SkyeDS: the only answer he'll give is that he didn't like the time
zone
SkyeDS: after he spent how many years in california and north
carolina, in the military, and the time zone has that much effect on
him? I don't think so.
evile: that's really too bad.
SkyeDS: couldn't he have figured that out before he got the loch ness
monster pregnant in the first place?
SkyeDS: since he was living in NC at the time?
SkyeDS: and did he not figure it out until after he had not one but
three?
evile: yeah.
SkyeDS: "but what about the children?"
SkyeDS: the children are here now. you made them. it doesn't matter
how much you hate Georgia or why.
evile: You would think...
SkyeDS: the oldest is Alex, age 6. And sineater says he's already
starting to show what sineater calls typical signs of being a child of
divorce
SkyeDS: I wouldn't know what those were, but sineater would
evile: *shrug* there are worse things.
evile: Kids in loving homes are always better off than kids in homes
where the adults hate each other.
SkyeDS: this is long past the loving home v hateful home
SkyeDS: he doesn't have to live WITH her, just near her.
evile: well, he's an adult, he can't be forced to do anything he
doesn't want to do, except maybe by court order...it's regrettable,
but that's just hte way it goes sometimes. People breeding who have
no business doing so and zero commitment to the results of their
orgasm.
SkyeDS: he says he's had a vasectomy so these accidents won't
continue happening, at least. assuming that's the truth.
evile: Better than nothin, I guess.
SkyeDS: I remember Mom severing things with him over giving him
emergency money, and then him using that and going over and beyond
that with her credit cards for a trip to California
SkyeDS: the live in is from California. things that make you go hm.
evile: *nod* indeed.
SkyeDS: hint, Mom: don't give him cash. Don't give him a check.
Don't fucking give him your credit card and say don't spend more than
(whatever).
SkyeDS: whatever he says he needs, you buy specifically.
SkyeDS: he's not any better than those homeless people who make 30-
40K a year on the side of the road, with signs that say will work for
food, who will neither work, nor accept food if you try to feed them,
they just want the $.
evile: *nod*
evile: Well, in any case, I'm glad you went to the reunion and had a
nice visit with people.
SkyeDS: nods
evile: I enjoyed hanging out with Ladydreamtime, Patrick, April, and their
friend Rosa yesterday. I felt like she and I didn't hit it off the
other 2 times we've met, but I think we had a nice time yesterday.
SkyeDS: good nekkid time with ladydreamtime? ;)
evile: Oh, she only went to brunch, then she took some lunch home to
rainking. So it was just me, Patrick, April & Rosa at HH.
evile: And then after that I went to Hojo's and showed him my boobs,
and then I went home :)
SkyeDS: ok...
evile: that's what he wanted for his bday.
evile: mine were the only un-adorned, un-surgeried, un-marked boobies
I saw yesterday. tats, piercings, one boob job at HH, and plain o'
me. :P
SkyeDS: lol
evile: perspective is always interesting.
SkyeDS: aye
evile: I think Ladydreamtime and Chancie are both all natural, too. so if the
3 of us ever go out there together, I won't be the minority :P
SkyeDS: I've never given it much thought
evile: I hadn't either.
SkyeDS: we don't blink at blood guts violence but we scream when we
see a pair of bare nipples
evile: not me. :)
SkyeDS: as a society not personally
evile: yeah. Patrick and I had an interesting discussion about that.
evile: He & April are good parents, and they manage to actually have
lives & adult interests too. I think that's very cool.
SkyeDS: nodnodnods
evile: It's so gratifying to have friends who will actually get a
sitter and not insist on taking the kids with them everywhere, all
the time.
SkyeDS: I need to find a sitter so we can go toobin
evile: I don't know when our next toob trip is gonna be. Sweetie's VW
rally got cancelled because of the rain, so they're rescheduling.
This sunday, maybe? I'll have to ask...
evile: OTOH, Ben will be back in town. So we might go anyway.
evile: I'll have a definite weekend plan after Thursday, I s'pose.
SkyeDS: more Xmas in July :)
SkyeDS: kuchi choker and two new skirts today
evile: more ebay stuffs :) Nice.
SkyeDS: you've seen the silver skirt with the matching veil?
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: bought a purple one and an emerald/teal one just like it
evile: nice :)
SkyeDS: they're now selling t hem veils separately
SkyeDS: wish could have gotten the silver one that way, don't really
need the veil
SkyeDS: too big to make a turban out of it, and don't know what to do
with it otherwise, riding it gets in the way
SkyeDS: not big enough to use it as a sari
evile: I'm sure it'll come in handy at some point.
SkyeDS: most garby-crafty things do eventually
SkyeDS: my rationale for being a packrat
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: have a portable hot shower and porta potty on order too
SkyeDS: those tents for the showers cost way too much
SkyeDS: I bet with sineater's abilities with pvc he could make me a
frame, and we could get a cheap curtain and rings at a dollar store
evile: *nod* I am pretty sure Rengeek's shower setup is all totally
homemade, and it was awesome.
SkyeDS: don't know if you've ever seen Arthur's biggest stand, the
one made out of pvc - rather than his tree stand (sineater made them all)
evile: probably :)
SkyeDS: the solar showers were cheaper and had their own stalls
evile: sineater is very talented & creative.
SkyeDS: but for some reason I just felt that a battery operated one
might be better
SkyeDS: work faster, whatever
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: I did not bring lunch because I was supposed to go out, and
my lunch partner rescheduled for Wednesday
evile: bummer!
SkyeDS: and what I ought to do is go across the street to subway and
get something while I've got Michael covering phones
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: did you see Chocolate Factory this weekend?
evile: yup
SkyeDS: and?
evile: It was fine.
SkyeDS: you aren't exactly waxing enthusiastically poetic here...
evile: A lot of people say it's closer to the original book but I
haven't read the book in years, so I couldn't say.
evile: To be honest, by the time I got in and sat down my shields
were so far up and I was so withdrawn, I really wasn't that aware of
the movie.
SkyeDS: :|
evile: I might see it again later, after the craze has died down.
evile: Well, it's 4. I'll talk at ya tomorrow. *hugs* Have a good
evening. We're walking at Town Lake, see my LJ if you're interested.

Library books are due tomorrow, I need to finish this up and get it turned in. It was really good. Wish I could send a copy to my brother and have him read it. Sadly, I see a lot of my own issues here, too. Both as a narcissist and a person who has been involved with them.

Help! I'm In Love With A Narcissist by Steven Carter and Julia Sokol.

Some good sections:

HOW NARCISSISTS MAKE YOU FEEL( Read more... )

....

The Characteristics of a Narcissist( Read more... )

Using Image to Puff Up the False Self( Read more... )

Expand Messages

Apr. 18, 2005

evile: hey :) How was your weekend?
SkyeDS: overloaded :)
SkyeDS: how was yours?
evile: Pretty good.
evile: did y'all end up in G'town or waco on Sunday?
SkyeDS: we left Valley Mills, picked Jubilee up in Waco, went to
Georgetown, and I threw an impromptu party at Duke's that everyone
involved enjoyed (two birthdays this weekend, sonar0m and keject)
evile: *nod* I wasn't sure if you were going to be at G'town or Waco,
so I didn't bother to make the drive to Drandmir on a 50-50% that
you'd be there.
SkyeDS: we didn't get there till 4:30 or 5 anyway
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: we made GT at 4:30 and stopped at Albertson's to get
cheesecakes so was closer to 5 when we hit the park
SkyeDS: and it started to rain so we loaded up right after having
unloaded and went straight to Duke's.
evile: heh. That was the other thing about yesterday, it kept looking
like it wanted to rain and I didn't want to be out in it.
SkyeDS: it rained enough to persuade us to pack up and go to Duke's
(covered patio and pavilion in the y ard)
SkyeDS: and when we got to Duke's it stopped
evile: Sounds about right :P
SkyeDS: I fed 7 people on $30 so that isn't too bad (not counting the
cheap two liters and the cheesecake)
evile: cool :)
SkyeDS: coupla more from Drandmir came with us so keject, sonar0m, Mike
and keject' friend Sean ditched, Jubilee sewed, we took turns riding,
and every waitstaff there was glued to the door and the windows the
entire time we were there
evile: heehee!
SkyeDS: it would be the perfect place for a mini event.
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: their pavilion is lit and up all the time, all you ahve to do
is show up and take over
evile: awesome.
SkyeDS: people can be fed there for $8 - 10 which is what a Drandmir
feast usually costs anyway
SkyeDS: no cooking, no cleaning.
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: yard big enough to ditch AND run an Equestrian list
SkyeDS: and then there's the patio on top of the pavilion
SkyeDS: and obviously, flushy toilets and sinks
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: only thing you can't do is camp, and a lot of people for the
sake of money, time and gas don't do three day camping events as
often as they did before anyway
evile: yeah...
SkyeDS: at the trail ride, we got a prime site on the No Generator
hill, right between the portapotty and the water faucet
SkyeDS: under a million trees, and completely surrounded by
bluebonnets on all sides
SkyeDS: shade all day long, 20 degrees cooler than anywhere else
evile: nice.
SkyeDS: what happens when you get where you're going on time.
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: there was the usual stupidity there, which is what happens
when you get hundreds of stupid people and their poor horses together
evile: that's frustrating...
SkyeDS: and as usual, all of the bad habit therapy ended up coming to
me for problem solving...which I usually get paid for, but oh well.
SkyeDS: I need to learn to say no. like that's ever going to happen,
lol.
SkyeDS: I feel too bad for teh horses to say no.
evile: pass out a bill and/or business card, along with the advice, I
guess.
SkyeDS: that little boy mechanic who helped me didn't do that
evile: *shrug*
evile: and will you know where to take your stuff to, next time,
since he didnt' give you a card?
SkyeDS: yep
SkyeDS: I intended to go to where he works in Taylor and give him one
of my cards with one free ride written on back in case he has a kid
or a ladylove who might lkike to ride if he doesn't
SkyeDS: follow through is not my middle name :|
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: but it's still in my memory so it will get done, sooner or
later
SkyeDS: too many people give to me, for me not to give back, and I
know I don't give back as much as I'm given, and that's not good
evile: I guess that's a good way to look at it.
SkyeDS: to pay back a good deed, I should be doing three good deeds
for people other than the one who did me the good deed
SkyeDS: so I've got a long way to go by that system
evile: I count "I didn't kill anyone today" as one of my good deeds.
SkyeDS: lol
SkyeDS: I feel so sorry for these poor horses
SkyeDS: I can make their lives easier for three days, but what is
three days in the span of their entire existence
evile: lots of people have them that shouldn't that's for sure.
SkyeDS: I'm always more grateful for my own children when I come home
than I was before.
SkyeDS: Not once but three times I've been given what I want, not
what I deserve.
evile: *nod*
evile: crap. It's raining. I wonder if our walk is going to get
rained out...
SkyeDS: :|
evile: I guess we'll wait and see how it's going after work.
evile: The safe place walk was fun; I walked with LadyDreamtime and Onyxlynxx,
and we had a nice visit & good walk. the memorial display at the end
made me cry a bit...someday I fear I'll be walking with "in memory
of [brother A]" on the back of my shirt.
SkyeDS: superlative company (don't know what to say about ...that...)
evile: nope. If she kills [brother A] or drives him to kill himself, she is
dead.
evile: and then I won't be free to walk in the safeplace walk (if I
get caught, that is...)
SkyeDS: getting caught is the operative phrase as I have said many
times about many thigns
evile: *nod*
evile: Tomorrow I'm hanging out w/[sister H] and [Aunt L], so I will get to
hear all about [sister H]'s cousin's wedding, and whether or not [sister H] got
to see [brother A] while she was in SA.
SkyeDS: I don't ask because I figure if something happens you think I
should know you'll tell me
evile: *nod*
evile: The story now is that [brother A] has disowned us, but *[Rubber Pig]* is
going behind his back to try and get us all together for some kind of
family gathering/reconciliation.
SkyeDS:
http://public.fotki.com/Gabercrombie/gulf_wars_05/img_0218.html
SkyeDS: there's my kuchi belt and my tassel belt I bought at War
SkyeDS: http://public.fotki.com/Gabercrombie/gulf_wars_05/page14.html
(whole series)
SkyeDS: please don't take this the wrong way
SkyeDS: but I'm not interested in S------ family drama
SkyeDS: I don't know how exactly to put it other than that
evile: OK
SkyeDS: I've had enough, and all I want at this point is to shelter
Sineatr as best I can
SkyeDS: which is to say, it isn't that the morbid Gemini curiosity
doesn't want to hear all about it, because of course I do
SkyeDS: what I'm NOT interested in are whatever machinations she's up
to now
SkyeDS: so whatever she's planning, she might as well leave me and
mine off the guest list.
evile: I will just avoid the topic, because you've stated your
boundary and I dont' want to cross it.
SkyeDS: no no no no
SkyeDS: I knew that was going to come across wrong
SkyeDS: not boundary between me and you
SkyeDS: between me and her
SkyeDS: I don't care if the family gets mad that Sineatr and I don't
intend to attend whatever little dysfunctional soiree she intends to
throw
evile: *shrug* I am not going to upset you unnecessarily; youv'e said
you don't wanna hear it, so I'm not gonna talk about it.
SkyeDS: I do want to hear about it
SkyeDS: what I don't want is to attend whatever she's planning to do.
evile: that kind of goes without saying, for ALL of us....
SkyeDS: and I don't want anyone guilt tripping Sineatr because we aren't
going.
SkyeDS: no more walking on eggshells for the sake of peace and quiet.
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: I hate combat as much as the next person, moreso than most,
but sometimes if you don't have reasoned and mature confrontation
that leaves nothing but combat
SkyeDS: this isn't like your teeth
SkyeDS: they don't just go away if you ignore them long enough
evile: I hope you don't plan on shutting out [Aunt L] and [Uncle B] if they
invite you to a family gahtering simply because the pig will be
there.
SkyeDS: oh no
SkyeDS: she's enlisted L&B?
SkyeDS: after they cursed L&B out???!!!
evile: we are *ALL* done with her. And Done with [brother A] until he pulls
his head out of...wherever...
SkyeDS: why, why, why would L&B have her in their castle again after
that, I don't understand
evile: [sister H] called over there and tried to make brunch plans w/[brother A]
while she was in town for her other family wedding. She does want to
see [brother A], and the baby, but isn't interested in the rest.
evile: What's to understand? we love [brother A], forever and always and we
will do whatever we have to do ...if he brings the pig to
thanksgiving or xmas, then we put up with her.
SkyeDS: I'm trying to get my mind around this, bear with me, I'm sorry
evile: Anyway, nice pictures. Thanks for sharing them. :)
evile: who's the girl on Mirage?
SkyeDS: that's the princess of Glen Abhan (AR)
SkyeDS: she wasn't authorized and so those pics got me into trouble
evile: oops.
SkyeDS: I had multiple requests for royals to be on Mirage all week
long, and so after a while I made the assumption that if someone in
authority told me it was ok for someone to be aboard, I took their
word for it
SkyeDS: and everyone WAS authorized, except her.
SkyeDS: so from now on, I don't care who says otherwise, it's my
horse, and my ass in the sling, and I"m going to make sure for myself
that someone is authorized to be up there
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: I won't be a hard ass and ask to see the card, if I get lied
to, it isn't my fault.
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: I don't want to be personally responsible for the loss of the
entire Equestrian Charter
evile: that would suck!
SkyeDS: even Mirage knew something was wrong, that's why I was
(visibly, I think) having to calm her down
evile: aww...
SkyeDS: she was all, what is this side saddle shit, you tell that
woman to put her legs where they belong
SkyeDS: and what do you mean you want me to walk with her like that
evile: not good.
SkyeDS: I sit side saddle all the time, BUT, I don't ask her to move
when I do, she knows NOT to move when I'm like that (it's like,
parade rest)
SkyeDS: come to think on it, I sit indian style with both legs up all
the time
evile: yeah. she's got a good sense of the stability of her 'load'
SkyeDS: I am overhorsed. twice over.
SkyeDS: Dr. Magnusson said, there's nothing better for the inside of
me than the outside of Mirage
evile: I guess that's a good thing :)
SkyeDS: I'm still trying to track on the whole holiday thing
SkyeDS: so the "conciliation effort" is going to be attendance at
holidays, is that correct?
evile: .No.
SkyeDS: I thought invite would be from [Rubber Pig], not from L&B
SkyeDS: we would never boycott L&B
evile: Pig is trying to organize some kind of family visit, where she
gets all of us togehter without [brother A]'s knowledge, and then I suppose
we'll all make up ...or something.
SkyeDS: that's insidious
SkyeDS: if she knows that if the invite comes from L&B that puts us
east of a rock and west of a hard place
evile: No, where I got confused was in your boundary-setting
statement of being tired of Family Drama. If that meant you
were boycotting L&B as well.
SkyeDS: no.
SkyeDS: I didn't realize she would be able to use L&B
SkyeDS: after what they did to them
evile: she is trying to invite L&B to whatever reconciliation
gathering she is trying to organize. as far as I know she hasn't
asked for the gathering to be at L&B's or in any way hosted by them.
SkyeDS: that would be, I don't know, like X trying to use Sineatr to
make up with you, or something (flailing around here for a proper
analogy)
evile: *shrug* she called [Aunt L] to ask for phone #'s, mine and whoever
elses, to call us and invite us to whatever she's planning behind
[brother A]'s back.
SkyeDS: we would never turn down an invite to L&B's holiday or no
SkyeDS: (assuming we weren't already committed obviously)
evile: [Aunt L] gave me a heads-up that she'd given [Rubber Pig] our home #, not
my cell, and that I might get a call from [Rubber Pig] sometime soon. So
that's what I was attempting to pass along to you.
SkyeDS: that's odd. they already have #s.
SkyeDS: unless [brother A] has them and [Rubber Pig] has no access to what he knows.
evile: No, [brother A] has numbers. [Rubber Pig] does not. And [brother A] (supposedly)
deleted all of his family's #s out of their phone.
SkyeDS: of course, I don't know [Dad]'s #, but if I asked Sineatr for it,
he'd give it to me
evile: well, that was part 2 of Pig-Drama, she told [Aunt L] that if [brother A]
finds out she's speaking to his family, he "will leave her."
SkyeDS: <makes jacking off gesture>
evile: oops, misplaced quote m arks. anyway, you get the picture, and
I'm done talking about that mess now.
SkyeDS: well, of course we're not going to ignore L&B or anyone else
in the family if A&L happen to be there.
evile: it will not come up again. Do you want me to set up a pig
filter on LJ so you don't have to read about it, either?
SkyeDS: no no no no no
SkyeDS: what i meant was, this whole thing where everybody guilt
trips you to make you play along with her
SkyeDS: because the rest of them are
SkyeDS: they've done that to Sineatr too
SkyeDS: although, either not as badly as you
SkyeDS: or he isn't as susceptible
SkyeDS: (or both I suspect0
SkyeDS: I already told [Dad], we aren't playing the game anymore
SkyeDS: and I meant it
SkyeDS: they want to keep playing that game, go right on ahead, but
I'm not letting them make Sineatr play it anymore.
evile: yup
SkyeDS: they aren't getting to Sineatr anymore in any way other than
past my sword.
SkyeDS: so funny that keject and Kaleon thought they were worth all the
ire in my rant, when I was speaking as much of A&L as them if not more
SkyeDS: I was just more specific about them because I couldn't even
begin to address the specifics of A&L in one post.
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: as fond as I am of storytelling there are some stories too
long and tedious to be told
evile: yup
evile: not to mention crazy.
SkyeDS: I knew I was going to give the wrong impression, I'm sorry
evile: Don't be. I'ts probably healthier for all concerned not to
have them come up as a topic.
SkyeDS: I truly did mean just to reiterate what I told [Dad]. We
aren't playing as a team anymore. We're playing everyone for
themselves.
SkyeDS: I'm sorry if he, [Mom] or anyone else doesn't like that, but
that's the way it's going to be
SkyeDS: their way didn't work.
SkyeDS: (I never thought it would in the first place, but now we have
incontrovertible empirical proof)
SkyeDS: were it my place, I would have already put you behind the
sword too and said, you don't get to force evilE either. but that is
not my place.
evile: I haven't been forced to do anything.
SkyeDS: not from lack of effort.
SkyeDS: and I really don't like effort that includes guilt trips and
other emotional manipulations.
SkyeDS: I've had enough "if you loved me (us) you'd (whatever)" from
Kaleon to last a lifetime (and from my own family for that matter).
evile: a boundary was stated. It would have been healthier to hear it
directly from mom, instead of [Dad] saying "Your mom doesn't like to
hear you talk about ___" but it's no different than you stating the
same/similar. And me choosing to honor you and our relationship by
abiding by that boundary is not me being manipulated.
SkyeDS: looks like manipulation to me
SkyeDS: this is the family playbook and you're not a good family
member if you don't play from the same playbook
evile: *shrug*
SkyeDS: I'm not going to play from a failing playbook, and I don't
care what mud is flung at me because of it. I just think that the
mud shouldn't be flung at all.
SkyeDS: they devalued you, or made you feel devalued, because you
wouldn't play the game with the rest of them, and that was wrong, and
that's my opinion, I'm sorry.
evile: You're entitled to your opinion.
evile: A lot of topics should be limited given proper
time/place/audience, the pig goes into that bin. Along with "you
don't talk about whips in front of people with abuse issues" and "you
don't lick pudding off your friends in front of children and god-
fearing families in the middle of the san marcos river on a Sunday
afternoon" Time & place. Very important.
evile: there are some things that are never appropriate to discuss,
with anyone, ever, and many many more that you just have to be
careful of time, place & listeners. That's all.
SkyeDS: still will be insidious if she manages to use L&B to further
whatever she's up to
SkyeDS: we're not going to stop attending family functions, I mean,
if she's invited, it isn't our function, so we'll do the best we can,
like we did at TG
evile: they're going to be invited to whatever, same as everyone
else.
SkyeDS: we get an invite from L&B, you, or whomever, we're there if
we aren't already elsewhere, as we have always been
SkyeDS: invite comes directly from her, she can kiss my morbidly
obese ass
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: and I will still enjoy the idea of making her a permanent
denizen of my stockpond should she step foot on my piece of dirt
evile: I don't think [Aunt L] really could think of a polite way to NOT
give [Rubber Pig] my number when she called and asked directly for it....
SkyeDS: poor [Aunt L]
SkyeDS: I know I keep saying that, but I don't know what else to say.
evile: me neither.
SkyeDS: matches and kerosene would nicely and neatly (well kinda)
solve so many problems - but people keep telling me no, LOL
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: my number isn't unlisted, so, if she knew where to look she
could find it, no point in being upset if someone else gives it to her
SkyeDS: I don't care who calls, I have call registry and answering
machine for just such reasons among others
SkyeDS: re [Aunt L], until she sets and defends her own boundaries,
nothing to do but feel sorry for her.
evile: *nod* She and [uncle B] have both done more for [brother A] than anyone
could expect or ask for. No one would blame them for shutting down
the gravy train at this point.
SkyeDS: I suspect they won't though.
SkyeDS: and I don't expect I'll ever get my mind around [Rubber Pig]'s
internal logic. But it seems inconsistent that she would be so
stupid as to attempt to kill the goose that lays the golden eggs.
SkyeDS: that would be like, I don't know, I like evilE's gift giving,
so, I'm going to curse her out. That makes a whole fuckload of
sense, right there.
evile: *shrug* [brother A] did the cussing, and I guess we weren't supposed
to see the little puppet strings tied on.
SkyeDS: I keep trying to do right, which I think is, avoiding
negativity as much as possible, saying a small blessing and trying to
move away from the energy
SkyeDS: it ain't easy
evile: sounds like a good thing to try, anyway.
SkyeDS: too many facets of my nature to fight against, my misplaced
maternal instinct to protect my family, my miss fixit tendencies, etc
SkyeDS: now if I can just keep consciously trying to link for my
subconcious that this is the best way to protect and fix, etc
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: I thought we done good at TG.
SkyeDS: all of us.
evile: My liver can't take much of that kind of good. :P
evile: glad they live in SA and we don't see them often.
SkyeDS: sounds like to me everything's about to go back to the status
quo of TG if that's what you would call status quo.
SkyeDS: ask me 10 years ago and I'd have said, I'm not going to be
anywhere they are, after they attacked Sineatr and me, without an apology
SkyeDS: I'm old fat and lazy now (as opposed to young, not fat, and
lazy) and I don't care
SkyeDS: I take situations as they come, and if I run into her
socially, if she behaves, I'll behave.
SkyeDS: she wants warfare, I can oblige that too
evile: *nod*
evile: I just want her to finish out her pattern and kick [brother A] to the
curb...and we'll pick up the pieces and go on from there.
SkyeDS: I thought she had, I thought there was already an I"m taking
my kids to my sisters and leaving you, but it doesn't seem that that
lasted long
SkyeDS: just annoying. like flies. doesn't matter how good your fly
spray is, you have to apply it regularly, it doesn't work to just
apply it once and hope for them not to come back.
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: that would be amusing. spray her in the face with horse
flyspray and say, shoo!
SkyeDS: amusing to me, anyway, probably not to anyone else.
evile: *shrug* I've got somethng in my mind more like my doc martens
meeting her throat, that would amuse ME.
SkyeDS: can of OFF and a match. hm.
SkyeDS: (bad Skye, bad, I know...)
evile: heehee.
SkyeDS: we were in GT last night till past 11 pm
SkyeDS: we went over to Sonya's house after Duke's BBQ and were
sitting out in t he driveway for a while, and someone said something
I put a privately amusing spin on, so I turned my head away and bit
my tongue
SkyeDS: Mike said, Skye's smiling again, something is a foot. And I
said, strangled, no I'm not, and it was obvious that I was trying not
to laugh
evile: sounds like a fun time :)
SkyeDS: just not very convincing when you turn your back, and say
you're not smiling, and you're trying not to laugh out loud.
SkyeDS: poker face is not my middle name (neither is grace)
evile: I wish I'd gone..but I knew for sure Jinx wasn't going to be
there, and with only a 50/50 of y'all, I wasn't sure it would be
worth the trip.
SkyeDS: wouldn't have been. good call.
SkyeDS: you're always welcome to call my cell phone any time and I'll
tell you exactly where we are should you ever want to join us
wherever that may be.
SkyeDS: I'm trying to do better at having it on me rather than
leaving it in the truck.
evile: I wouldn't have driven to WAco for nothin'
evile: (well, nothing fun, anyway, if a blood transfusion was needed,
I migh tthink about it.)
SkyeDS: I think you would enjoy some parts of the cbar ride.
SkyeDS: you'd enjoy the scenery anyway
SkyeDS: I don't know that you'd enjoy what they consider an "easy"
ride.
evile: I had plans for Saturday, so I wouldn't have been able to do
that at all.
SkyeDS: they have two every year, april and october, if you ever want
to, and if you don't, you don't, was just thinking out loud
SkyeDS: you know the first time we went, I had the sense to say, I
want the baby ride
SkyeDS: and then the outrider got us lost
evile: April is Scarby and October is TRF, so the chances of me
having a free weekend in either month aren't good.
SkyeDS: and then gave us over to the advanced ride to get us home
SkyeDS: which put us in stuff that was not Kansas, toto.
SkyeDS: but then we went on a baby ride that went the way it was
supposed to, but it still wasn't what I would call easy.
SkyeDS: and in succeeding years, every time we take the baby ride up
and down serious inclines with rocks and into and out of creeks, a
number of very loud complainers say, t his isn't where we want to be
SkyeDS: and of course at that point it's a little late
evile: *nod*
evile: I really can't ride until I lose weight.
SkyeDS: so, this time, they had four rides initially
SkyeDS: the baby ride was supposed to be road only
SkyeDS: nothing that if you didn't like, you couldn't go around, or
turn back
SkyeDS: and that worked wonders on Saturday
SkyeDS: Sunday morning they put the baby ride with the intermediate
ride
SkyeDS: and I thought they were supposed to split off before we did
inclines, rocks or water
SkyeDS: and let me explain inclines
SkyeDS: riding straight up and down rocky cliff faces.
evile: so who all went on the trail ride? You, sonar0m, Sineatr, and
keject, and only 2 horses?
SkyeDS: anyway, they didn't split off, and one of the easy riders
came down and got hurt, and the scouts didn't handle it the right
way, which could have gotten a whole lot of us hurt
SkyeDS: keject and Jubilee couldn't go after all so it was the three
of us
SkyeDS: which is about perfect
SkyeDS: sonar0m and I rode on our own Friday afternoon, Sineatr didn't
come until dinner
SkyeDS: Sineatr and I rode Saturday morning, we all slept through the
Saturday afternoon ride, none of us are capable of two three hour
rides in one day
SkyeDS: and sonar0m and I rode on Sunday
SkyeDS: and Arthur did well when he was alone (during meals) and had
one of us with him at all times except meals
SkyeDS: and they had a folk band that played music I grew up with and
haven't heard forever, and so the band/dance was cool. Wished I'd
packed my dulcimer, bodhran and tamborine, but since when have I ever
needed those on a trail ride before.
SkyeDS: they offered to share a microphone and I said, no that's
ok, I'll sit over here by the fire (next to them) and just sing on my
own loudly if that's all the same
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: this works much better, because Arthur can come with, rather
than be at home with a sitter, and everybody gets as much riding (or
more) than they can handle
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: everyone wanted pictures holding Arthur on their horses.
SkyeDS: if you're into wildflowers, canyons, waterfalls and
breathtaking scenery, cbar has it all in spades
SkyeDS: the cowboy ambience might drive you crazy
evile: *shrug* the rocky river ranch girls campout thingy was pretty
cowboy-ish, and it was fine.
SkyeDS: I tend to be pretty comfortable in any situation I choose to
be in, but I"m a chameleon that way.
SkyeDS: I come home from trail rides sounding like my grandma
(accentwise)
evile: *nod*
evile: an entire half of my bloodline lives in bumfuck Oklahoma, I
can deal with countryfried shit, and even fit in with that milieu; I
just prefer not to if I don't have to.
SkyeDS: I thought that might be the case.
SkyeDS: you've probably already seen the pretty pics on their website
right?
evile: yup
SkyeDS: and they're open to the public year round, you could always
go by yourself
SkyeDS: either just camp, rent a horse, whatever you wanted to do,
completely alone
SkyeDS: be a great place for War for that matter, but ya know.
evile: I can't ride until I lose some weight and/or gain some muscle.
I'm so heavy & flabby now that I'm not in charge of my own inertia,
which is dangerous when you're not on your own 2 feet.
SkyeDS: I know :(
SkyeDS: I don't think I should be on Mirage at this point after my
last weigh in
SkyeDS: I was worried I'd bring her down going up the cliffs
SkyeDS: but then she CROW HOPPED all the way up one and I had to
pause and think about that
SkyeDS: crowhopped AND sidepassed, at the same time, at a gallop, all
the way up to the ridge (200 foot cliff face)
evile: wow.
SkyeDS: but it's like this
SkyeDS: if you're comfortable with the way you hold your own weight
without foisting it all off on the horse, you're fine
SkyeDS: if you aren't comfortable in your own skin, you aren't fine
SkyeDS: so you're right on the money
SkyeDS: one of the greenies was riding this clyde one day, not an
attractive one at all, and then the next day he was riding the
prettiest, most muscular chocolate Perch
SkyeDS: but he honestly didn't know what the red in the tails meant,
so Jesse instructed him
SkyeDS: by telling the Perch, when he stuck his nose where it didn't
belong, in no uncertain terms, that "nice girls don't do that"
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: my horse buying seems to go in pairs. I want a Frieisan and
a Vanner together.
SkyeDS: a drum would be too big, I think
SkyeDS: a cob would be pretty, but not the same size as the friesian
SkyeDS: although welsh cobs are gorgeous too
SkyeDS: and then I want an andalusian, and either a shire or a perch
to go with
SkyeDS: Mirage and Jess are in their own way very aesthetically
pleasing together, having similar size and build, and even Bridget
was pleased with them in Ballet du Cheval class.
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: so much gorgeous scenery and other stuffs in the world, so
little time (and $)
evile: yup
SkyeDS: cooking vacations in Italy seem to be popular now (drool)
SkyeDS: "I'd like one horseback/cooking combo vacation in Italy
please?"
evile: that woudl be cool.
SkyeDS: [Sharjinka]'s digs are cool. She went on one in Italy as well as
Greece.
evile: Belize, too.
SkyeDS: this year's events calendar seems to be less full than last
year's, which I think is a good thing. We were full tilt all year
last year.
evile: *nod*
evile: I am totally done with work now....*sigh* ready to go. Oh
well, I took tomorrow off so I guess I should tolerate the next half
hour-ish with good grace.
SkyeDS: :)
evile: I'll be happy to hear about Kristy K's wedding, and we're
going to Clarksville to look at engagement rings for [sister H].
SkyeDS: love retail therapy :)
evile: [sister H] and Jimmy are talking Marriage. Jimmy hasn't proposed
yet; [sister H] is insisting on 'a ring and a scene' before she considers
it Official.
SkyeDS: smart girl, head on her shoulders right
evile: We looked at rings at the mall on Thursday, Helzberg, but she
didn't like the settings that stick up very high off the ring.
SkyeDS: I don't either. I don't like how high off my hand mine is
set, but it is set in 6 prongs and not 4, so I felt a little more
secure about that
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: I didn't want a traditional diamond at all, I wanted a pearl,
but Mom threw a fit and it was just easier to give in. and we found
a flawless little one at a pawn shop of all places
SkyeDS: I'd rather have one small and perfect than big and glassy
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: we didnt' go in the pawn shop looking for a ring, btw, we saw
it while we were in there I wanted a tamborine
evile: that's the way things happen, I've noticed. Find one great
thing while looking for something completely different.
SkyeDS: I am not the least bit ashamed of our "dumpster diving"
tendencies though.
evile: nah, it's fun.
SkyeDS: one man's trash is another man's treasure
evile: yup. I really like the idea of Freecycle.
SkyeDS: tis good to get a ring that flatters the finger, such a thing
as too small, but also too big
SkyeDS: specially diamonds, that lose quality as they get bigger
evile: *nod*
evile: I don't like diamonds, and they still come from South Africa,
which is still a shitty place to give money to, so ... if I ever get
a big pricey ring I'll get a Yogo Sapphire or something unusual like
that.
SkyeDS: as far as diamonds go, I like what I've got. I wanted a
pearl though.
evile: pearls aren't good on rings because they're soft & scratch
easily.
evile: well,not on a daily-wear ring like an engagement or wedding
ring, anyway.
SkyeDS: an amethyst would have been good too
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: or for that matter, carnelian, garnet, lapis or malachite
evile: lapis is fairly soft, too.
SkyeDS: I admit that I have my rings off as often if not more so than
on, because of all the stuff I do with my hands
evile: *nod*
evile: I don't know if you saw it, but girls night tonight is an
exploration of the new Whole Foods
SkyeDS: that's right close, I haven't gone over there yet
SkyeDS: I used to take Arthur over there and to Book People
SkyeDS: (he stayed outside of WF of course)
SkyeDS: (we take turns)
evile: *nod*
evile: anyhoo, we'll be there around 7:30
SkyeDS: just now getting around to reading LJ
evile: *nod*
evile: after taking Friday, I figured you'd be pretty swamped today
SkyeDS: I am so tired too. I can't promise I wouldn't fall asleep at
dinner. I might fall asleep on the road if I didn't have my cell
phone.
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: thank you for thinking of me :)
SkyeDS: time fer you to git?
evile: pretty much. *hugs* talk at ya later.
SkyeDS: wind to your wings, ciao belleza :)

Apr. 13, 2005

Me and J-Law were back and forthing. [Her brother R] came over to her place last
night and they drank boddingtons & scotch and he helped her feel
better about work. I told her to give R a big hug for me, because
I miss my brother so much.

I don't think A, as I knew him, exists anymore...in hte same way
that Sineater is gone. :(

I just hate how the rubber pig has turned him so mean and hateful. He was
always quick to anger, but just as quick to forgive and forget, and
she seems to have beaten that last part out of him. Mom says he's
ugly to Trey and mean to the children now, too. that's just not my
brother at all...

Mar. 31, 2005

evile: hey, I'm back on my own machine, in my own cube at work again!
SkyeDS: welcome back to the world of the online living!
evile: yay :)
SkyeDS: methinks I'm going to do another banishing come the next dark
moon
SkyeDS: the rejects have formed a nother mutual hate society, since
they weren't getting our attention before
SkyeDS: on a similar note I hope that msg at midnight is the last
such you receive :(
evile: Oh. I guess they still aren't getting mine.
SkyeDS: I find it interesting that when I send all his negativity
back to him, the next thing he does is draw Chris Loy to himself
evile: *shrug* I turned the volume down on the machine before bed
last night. He can rant and scream at hte machine all he wants, if it
makes him feel better. Obvously he's feeling pretty powerless and
miserable if he has to lash out like that.
SkyeDS: Ms Negativity Magnet 2005
SkyeDS: I'm surprised he hasn't done same to us
SkyeDS: are sineater and I not more to blame than you and Lynn?
evile: Oh, I didn't realize kaleon and chris loy are in touch.
SkyeDS: yep
evile: Oh, he ignored our cousin Donna when she went to visit
yesterday--she lives in alabama and last time she was in TX was for
nanny's funeral.
SkyeDS: same old same old where the rejects are concerned, both of
them
SkyeDS: we can't get skye's/sineater's attention any other way
SkyeDS: so we're going to use LJ to do it
evile: oh well. I don't pay much attention to chrisloy, anyway, and
haven't responded to any of kaleon's posts in my LJ after the first
one kind of surprised me into it.
SkyeDS: and since you've shown no interest in the mutual hate skye
society, c hris has.
SkyeDS: <shrugs>
evile: feh.
SkyeDS: I find it ironically fitting that he attracted her to himself
after I sent all his shit back to him and told it to stay there.
evile: ack. that's true.
SkyeDS: and I fucked up before I realized what the new tactics were
SkyeDS: but I won't do that again
evile: *nod* good plan.
SkyeDS: with regard to the new tactic, I could just stop reading
comments to your posts
SkyeDS: and your friends altogether
SkyeDS: but you have too many interesting friends so I'm not gonna
evile: yeah.
SkyeDS: seems like CL is trying to court Julie real hard
SkyeDS: didn't she unknowingly attack Julie over Poly Big Fun?
evile: yeah, they have some things in common (kids, etc.)
SkyeDS: I am proud that I have restrained myself and refrained from
posting that the Rejects need to Get a Life, Have Some Pride, and
Move On
evile: hee.
SkyeDS: Her husband won't speak to me anymore so I'm going to be best
buddies or whatever else with a man she dumped (what 3 times)
SkyeDS: and no matter what sineater tells me about his personal
situation, I'm going to believe kaleon instead (who tried to get rid
of sineater for 7 years and is known to be truth challenged)
evile: sad.
evile: she has so many problems of her own, but instead of focusing
where she can do some good, she gets in other people's business.
SkyeDS: no shit, amen
SkyeDS: two people who don't have decent jobs if jobs at all
SkyeDS: lousy living conditions
SkyeDS: lousy health
SkyeDS: lousy love lives (or they wouldn't be so obsessed with mine)
SkyeDS: and all they can find to do is meddle in our affairs, when
we're perfectly happy
SkyeDS: anyway, I have declared my LJ and my life a no drama zone and
anyone who doesn't like it, I won't name names ([brother A], rubber_pig, Chris,
kaleon) can goplayintraffichaveaniceday
evile: yup. Last time kaleon contacted me, I told him I hoped that
everything he was working towards woudl work out for him. I really
do. If his life was better and more interesting, he would lose his
unhealthy focus on things in Austin.
SkyeDS: I wonder if he's noticed that you did not friend him back
when he friended you
SkyeDS: I mean, gawud, people, get a fucking clue already
SkyeDS: Chris still has sineater friended even after he told her himself
to get lost and why, because she thinks she can "save" him.
evile: whatever. I got a really good book a few months ago called "to
be an anchor in the storm" and it basically says you don't ever try
to 'save' people. Behaving towards them in that way only victimizes
them more.
SkyeDS: learned that the hard way with my sister
SkyeDS: that situation was never as bad as [brother A]/rubber_pig
SkyeDS: quit trying to save her, and lo and behold, she started
coming to me when she felt like she might need to be saved.
evile: yup. work on the relationship YOU have with the person, don't
try to control their behavior, or tell them ugly stuff about other
people, just make sure the lines of communication are open between
yourself and the person you care about. Don't focus on outcomes, just
build trust
SkyeDS: CL obviously doesn't get that
SkyeDS: even IF sineater needed saving, she's the last person in the
world he'd let do it now
SkyeDS: because her method of trying to save him alienated him so
evile: yup. sineater has never liked to have people up in his business.
SkyeDS: as for kaleon wanting to save sineater, after 7 years of abusing
sineater himself (mentally and emotionally), yeah, right. what.evar.
evile: sad.
SkyeDS: if the two of them weren't so annoying with their public
idiocy, it would be funny, I guess, in a mixture of ha-ha and ironic
SkyeDS: I had been wanting to test the waters again at Polys, to see
if I could spend some time just sitting and listening to kulilinei and/or
ladydreamtime
SkyeDS: now I feel like I can't go because CL will think it was
because of her
evile: it's sort of like watching retarded children playing with
their poop in public...it will only bother you if you look or get
close enough for them to touch you :P
evile: CL only shows up at first wednesday and poly 101, and then
VERY rarely.
SkyeDS: I am so tired of everything I say and everything I do being
put under their distorted little microscopes
evile: *shrug* retards playing with poop.
SkyeDS: ya. Next time I go to Polys I'll bring gloves and lysol :D
evile: there's usually enough people at 1st Wednesday so that you
don't have to hang with people you KNOW you dont' get along with. You
may end up sitting near a stranger who eventually bugs you, but odds
are good that the good company outweighs the bad
SkyeDS: last time wouldn't have been bad if I had stayed with sineater at
your end of the table.
evile: maybe.
SkyeDS: and, I was thinking, in probably far distant future, ladies
night would be nice, I could hang with Sharjinka and feel comfortable
that way. And I know CL doesn't go there, so I won't be under a
microscope
evile: Just FYI, depending on who's hosting girls night, you may or
may not be invited. CL is definitely not on anyone's list to be
invited personally.
SkyeDS: ya, I came away with that understanding after the rifka thing
evile: if it's ever at a coffee houe or restaurant, I'll definitely
pass the info on to you. We figure public places are neutral ground,
ya know?
SkyeDS: I would have enjoyed melting pot but no $
SkyeDS: that is changing Monday you know
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: I will feel more comfortable if Jinx is there.
evile: *nod* She had mentioned maybe having girls night at her place
sometime.
SkyeDS: it's not on my immediate list of things that need doing
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: but it is nice to know that when I want to, I can do it,
without it being subjected to teh microscope
evile: yup
SkyeDS: had wanted to take sonar0m to GWNN when we first started out
together, and kaleon threw a fit
SkyeDS: "you're only going there because I go there"
SkyeDS: riiiiiiight.
evile: "what happens at Girls Night STAYS at Girls Night" :)
SkyeDS: I so want to be where I know you're going to be, just because
your'e going to be there, that's why I broke up with you (more than
once)
evile: well, there's Voyagers. And kaleon's umptyhundred miles away
now, so who gives a crap what he thinks of where you're going and why.
SkyeDS: he also had Pagans Night Out staked out too. nevermind that
he went to his first one with *me* and I had been going on and off
for years
SkyeDS: I only have one question, and it won't ever be answered, so I
try not to think about it too much too often
SkyeDS: why me?
SkyeDS: why can't these people find something in their own lives to
obsess about, especially if they're so damn happy as they claim to be?
evile: *shrug* No clue.
SkyeDS: well, that they aren't as happy as they say they are is
apparent
evile: yup
evile: easier to fixate on something external and fuss about it than
fix your own stuff.
SkyeDS: life is much easier when you don't give a damn about what
other people think
evile: I guess.
evile: I care what some people think. But not what random strangers
think
SkyeDS: I'm going (insert place here) because I want to, I don't care
who else is going to be there, or what they're going to ascribe to me
by way of motive
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: I cannot control my reputation, just my character
SkyeDS: you can't go (here) because CL will be there, kaleon, or Bridget,
or whomever, that sucks, no more of that shit.
SkyeDS: I thought I went to University to get away from High
School. Perhaps I am mistaken about that.
evile: yup. and if you show up and behave graciously, consitently,
eventually that one thing that someone heard about you once will fade
in the face of the reality of you here & now, being a decent person.
evile: rumors only work when enough people don't know the people
involved or the situation well enough to make their own decision.
SkyeDS: or refuse to think for themselves even when they do have
enough information
SkyeDS: but I can't control t hat, so t here's no point in fretting
over that either
evile: nope.
SkyeDS: I have enough bugs to shoot at without other people throwing
more at me
evile: I was well known nad well liked enough by the time
brandyeileen pitched her hissy in the poly yahoo group, that people
just kind of laughed at her attempt to make me look bad
SkyeDS: fairly common for people to hang themselves if you give them
enough of their own rope]
evile: I'm not sure how things would have gone if I'd been new to
the group at that point & had that blow-up with her. Or how it may
have been different in person. Or how it may have been if she was the
established group person with a bad opinion of me that she'd shared.
evile: But CL and kaleon, well nobody remembers kaleon, I'm sure, and
CL doesn't show up often enough for people to really know her, and
the people who DO know her remember her as the person who tried to
shoot down Big Fun without knowing anything about it or who was
organizing it...so ti's not like they have fan clubs anywhere.
evile: Kili has a circle of admirers, but she's also rarely in
attendance at poly dinners.
SkyeDS: other than Robin I doubt I have any interest in whomever is
in her circle
SkyeDS: and I think knighthorse and I would have been just fine if it
hadn't been for her
SkyeDS: Robin knighthorse and I were having a reasoned, mature exchange of
differing ideas until she got involved in it
SkyeDS: I will have to admit to childish, prurient desire to watch
her get a smackdown from ladydreamtime over her insult to rainking. but hey,
at least I"m honest.
evile: One of the reasons ladydreamtime has a place of respect in the BDSM
and Poly communities is that she does not lose her shit publically
SkyeDS: don't know that verbally addressing someone's bad behavior is
losing one's shit publicly?
evile: No, but she handles things very coolly.
SkyeDS: that may be, but I seem to remember that Kil was careful
enough not to even potentially misbehave where ladydreamtime could catch it,
probably for good reason
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: Scrith (who is her Other?) made an effort to specifically
invite us back
SkyeDS: I thought that was nice
evile: Scrith is a very nice person.
SkyeDS: by now I know who in the SCA to avoid and who not to (to an
extent, new pitfalls can always be uncovered)
SkyeDS: and even moreso in t he HFS
SkyeDS: there's got to be a way to do the same in polys if I am ever
so inclined
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: we were going to have a mounted security interview SUnday but
the girls are two inches too short
evile: oh, that sucks!!
SkyeDS: you might find the Test interesting.
www.mountedsecuritypatrol.com (employment, then horse candidate, then
training)
evile: hm, nothing's coming up. Oh well.
SkyeDS: that might not be the right site
SkyeDS: and puter is slow because I'm installing and running avg,
adaware and spybot for the first time
SkyeDS: try just mountedsecurity.com
evile: http://www.mountedpatrol.com/training.cfm

is that it?
SkyeDS: bad me, yes.
SkyeDS: alpha & omega
evile: Ok. cool.
SkyeDS: I told the very nice guy this morning, with regard to, all
the interested people's horses so far are too short
SkyeDS: well, this is central texas. we rodeo here, and other
western stuff.
SkyeDS: western horses tend to be short, and tanks
SkyeDS: it isn't that we don't have tall horses here, it's just that
they're usually English - hunter/jumper/dressage
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: those people aren't usually interested in things like mounted
patrol
SkyeDS: and their horses, while tall enough, there's no fucking way a
highstrung hotheaded english horse is going to do squat on that test.
SkyeDS: Bridget would be the first to tell you that her Lippi mare
Moose couldn't pass it
SkyeDS: I figure, get enough horses that are tall enough that can
pass it, good for you, no reason to settle
SkyeDS: doesn't look at this point like that's going to happen, and I
figure the client won't wait forever, so they may be back
evile: yeah.
SkyeDS: I would like to see what they're using as a teeter totter
evile: looks like a pretty thorough program.
SkyeDS: really good book on police methods of bombproofing I've been
meaning to get
SkyeDS: but I know I can get it online cheaper thru a bookclub than
in store
evile: probably :)
evile: I love amazon.com for that.
SkyeDS: I'm going to join an equestrian book club whose prices are
even lower, and w hatever I can't find there, I already have saved as
wish list on amazon
SkyeDS: do love amazon
evile: oh, cool.
SkyeDS: aeclectic.net > drool > go to amazon
evile: *nodnod*
SkyeDS: I can't think of a better gift than a gift cert to amazon
personally
SkyeDS: I gave my mom a good sized one for Xmas
SkyeDS: having remembered that I got one for my birthday last year :P
evile: Yeah, my friend J-law's bday snuck up on me this year, so that's
what I got her. She got Reidel "O" glasses :)
SkyeDS: it would probably be good if I ate lunch before like 3 pm
evile: yup
SkyeDS: I get busy doing stuff and don't realize I"m hungry until
it's painful and begins to affect my mental acuity
evile: that happens to me at home sometimes.
evile: Sweetie's got the living room wrecked, so I havent had room to do
an exercise video (even if the vcr or dvd player was connected to the
TV, which I doubt, since he got the projector) But now my work room
computer plays DVDs and I have adequate floor space, so I'll be
trying to get back into a good exercise routine now.
evile: Plus it's nice outside now, so I can walk.
SkyeDS: I have so wanted to be outside for the last week
evile: it's been beautiful out. Sunday at Excalibur was gorgeous &
then I took Monday off & just had a nice day at home, windows open,
puttering in the yard a bit, etc. :)
SkyeDS: bought this cav hat with lots of feathers to go with this
gorgeous black silk garb blouse I bought
SkyeDS: and the wind Sunday was too strong for the hat
evile: oops!
SkyeDS: but wind not withstanding I hope this weekend is like last
SkyeDS: I"m going to make some obstacles to take to the park for
bombproofing
evile: drandmir Sunday, then?
SkyeDS: nod
SkyeDS: I may start going to Morconor on Saturdays in some instances
in future
SkyeDS: Waco isn't much further away than Gtown
SkyeDS: 70 miles, straight up US77
evile: that would be fun
SkyeDS: this weekend last weekend off for a bit
SkyeDS: events Apr 8, Apr 15, Apr 22
SkyeDS: off eeyore's weekend
SkyeDS: and if May is like last year there's an Eq event every single
weekend
evile: wow, busy!
SkyeDS: I begin to perceive a pattern. couple of months in spring,
couple of months in fall
SkyeDS: guess if you included War though, that would be 3 months in
spring, and 3 in fall
SkyeDS: all spring, all fall (smart witch, smart)
evile: that's pretty much the best weather for being outside...
SkyeDS: ya
SkyeDS: although there's SCA every weekend all year round somewhere,
I meant eq events - which are more weather dependent than just about
anything else
SkyeDS: the heavies, rapiers and archers will play in any damn weather
SkyeDS: and just don't have time to attend A&S only events
evile: I can see that.
SkyeDS: I didn't even see the inside of the A&S tents at War, or take
classes, must remedy that next year :|
evile: sounds like there's a lot that goes on at a war.
SkyeDS: probably comparable to living at TRF for an entire week
SkyeDS: if I had sufficient property I"d be hosting Wars and Ren
Faires too
evile: a lot of work to put something like that together.
SkyeDS: wouldn't be in the bidness long though if everyone trashes my
place
SkyeDS: we were the last of the Eqs to leave Kings Arrow and when we
did, you couldn't tell we'd been there
evile: that's very cool.
SkyeDS: Daddy = big camper, conservationist. I have been skooled
since I wuz liddle
SkyeDS: would have been that way anyway, out of my pagan nature
evile: heh. you'd be surprised what kind of stuff I've heard from the
mouths of 'pagans' re: environmental concerns
SkyeDS: lot of trashy pagans out there, who also think patchouli is a
substitute for soap and water
evile: yup
evile: Niki's new boy had never smelled patchouli before Excalibur :P
SkyeDS: oh no, poor boy :(
SkyeDS: I've started noticing a lot of migraneurs are scent triggered
and sensitive
evile: heh. it was the patchouli bath salts at the apothecary's
booth, s that's not a bad first experience.
evile: I know Donna used to get migraines because of smells...
SkyeDS: I worked for a lady attorney who required that I wear NO
makeup, NO perfume, and that all my detergents be scentless
evile: she was so happy when I took her to Crabtree & Evelyn and
didn't get a headache. I think it was artificial scents that upset
her head.
evile: it would suck to be that sensitive.
SkyeDS: at State Farm in the Chase Bank Building there was a man who
wouldn't get in the elevator with women, at all, because of it
evile: wow, poor guy.
SkyeDS: although I've known men to bathe in cologne rather than soap
and water too
SkyeDS: so avoiding women isn't going to avoid all of it
evile: we had a supervisor here who did that. he was an obnoxious
little man, anyway, the scent just helped him overwhelm more people
at once.
SkyeDS: I'm not deaf, I'm trying to ignore you! LOL
evile: he ended up retiring under mysterious circumstances.
SkyeDS: "we were traveling at half the speed of smell" Ron White
evile: heh.
SkyeDS: time to go home
evile: 4 minutes, but close enough, I guess, to start making the
rounds.
evile: see ya manyana - april fools day :)

Expand Messages

evilE

Mar. 31, 2005

Sineater: poit!
evile: hey :)
evile: how's everything with you?
Sineater: pretty good
evile: that's good to hear.
Sineater: catcvhing up on stuffs
evile: *nod* yeah.
Sineater: ignoring punctuation
evile: absolutely!
evile: [brother A] ended up ignoring cousin Donna when she called & went
down to SA, BTW.
Sineater: donna
Sineater: hmm name not immediately familiar
evile: [bubba], K/Mom & Aunt L's first cousin, lives in Alabama.
Sineater: sigh
Sineater: goddamn. well, there it is.
evile: [brother A] sure will be sorry when he finally gets his head out of
his ass (or rubber_pig's cooch) and discovers that the world has moved on
without him.
Sineater: makes no sense. by all accounts that boy was rolling in
pussy, even in greencastle
Sineater: on a better note, jose linked to a creationist site that is
such a hoot
evile: he characterized himself before rubber_pig as 'sex starved'
evile: I like Jose's sense of humor.
Sineater: ???sex-starved??? [brother A]???
Sineater: i do too, even if i have some issues with jose himself
evile: so he says. after much careful coaching & brainwashing by the
pig, I'm sure.
Sineater: why did sex-starved even come in to it???
evile: No clue, ti was a long, bizarre rant that had nothing to do
with anything as far as I can tell...
Sineater: were we, his family, obligated to lay him more often or
something???
evile: I dont' have any idea. I think he was trying to characterize
himself as being morally inferior and physically addicted, and the
great and wonderful rubber_pig 'cured' him and made him into a better
person (who follows her lead in beating her children & cuts off his
family for spite)
Sineater: :(
evile: yup. it's like she's found every bad quality he has and is
encouraging him to wallow in them.
evile: he's lazy, oh, HERE, my stepdad will pay our rent and my legal
husband will work and pay for everything else, AND take care of the
older girls.
Sineater: well baby jesus still loves her.
http://objective.jesussave.us/babyj.html
evile: ew.
Sineater: if you click repeatedly on his head he makes a noise like
an x-wing fighter :)
Sineater: dad isn't paying rent for them is he??
Sineater: and the eyes follow you around freakishly...
evile: No, HER stepdad.
Sineater: ?????????????
evile: her insane fucking bitch of a mother is married to a nice
littel doormat who pays rubber_pig's rent.
Sineater: is that the large rabbi we met, or is that her real dad?
evile: large rabbi is her real dad. he's a winner, too.
evile: he's stubborn, she makes sure that fault is used to her
advantage.
evile: *sigh*
Sineater: ponders instant karma...
Sineater: even john lennon would say, "kill the bitch." >:(
evile: yup
Sineater: and yoko would say, "eeeeee-ee-ee-ee-oooh-ooh-oo-ooooaahh-
ah-ah-ah-akakakakakakakkk
evile: *giggle*
evile: so you start work Monday the 4th, eh?
Sineater: nodnod
evile: cool. I know that will be a big load off your mind.

Mar. 30, 2005

lat night at Midnight. I didn't hear the phone ring, I just woke up
when the message came on, and then Sweetie turned it down for me.
Something about how he'd just gotten the postcard, and that he
assumed I meant "rubber_pig" when i said "Someone's wife" and that rubber_pig
was actually trying to get him to forgive his family, bla bla. Sweetie
turned the volume down at that point.

What an inconsiderate oaf; normal people who WORK are not awake to
take calls at midfuckingnight. I only want calls at that hour if
there is grevious bodily injury!

Feh. stupid family drama bullshit.

Mar. 23, 2005

evile: boss lady is gone for the day & we're having a Goodie day, so
I'm going to risk it & be on icq. Hi.
SkyeDS: hugs - how was the time off? :)
evile: that's this upcoming friday & monday.
SkyeDS: oh. my bad.
evile: how was Gulf War?
SkyeDS: wonderful
SkyeDS: even though the drive was gawdawful and it snowed
evile: I had heard it was cold, I had not heard that it snowed. Wow.
SkyeDS: snowed at Troll but not at Barn
SkyeDS: which just goes to show Equestrians are full of hot air :P
evile: wow.
evile: If you get a chance, tell sineater not to feel too bad about [brother A].
He called Lynn last night and cussed her out.
SkyeDS: just so you know now
evile: And left an ugly message on my machine; thankfully I was not
home to take the verbal beating in person.
SkyeDS: I got tired of it and I stepped in
SkyeDS: this game will be played on my terms from now on, where my
family is concerned, and so I told them
evile: 'Games' are supposed to be fun. I don't consider this
a 'game'. But I think we all did what we thought best under the
circumstances,and if it hadn't been over the dog, it would have been
over something else. [brother A] was going to break with his family one way
or the other.
SkyeDS: he was really hurting sineater
SkyeDS: I stood by until I deemed that I didn't want to watch anymore
evile: I figure I get to be a big bag of shit no matter waht I do or
say, so why say or do anything.
SkyeDS: they were trying to beat Connie's number out of sineater
SkyeDS: I won't have that
SkyeDS: she is my friend and business associate
SkyeDS: I do not need another enemy neighbor
SkyeDS: and then rubber_pig is wailing aobut HER dog
SkyeDS: and already threatening to leave with the kids
evile: that's some fucked up shit, yo.
SkyeDS: I w ill not have either of them abusing my life mate of 14
years. I won't.
SkyeDS: and then they did exactly what I figured they would do, which
is call every last member of teh family trying to start a war
evile: I just know they called you and me, and then Aunt L last night
SkyeDS: no sooner than rubber_pig hung up on me than they called K/mom who
called stepdad/G
evile: Well, they pretty much burned bridges with Mom while she was
down helping with the baby, so I don't know what they expected to
accomplish there, other than chaos & upset, which they did.
SkyeDS: if they step foot on my ranch I'll have them arrested for
trespassing
SkyeDS: and/or shoot them
evile: *nod*
evile: From the message he left at my house, doesn't sound like that
will be a problem. He doesn't want anything to do with any of us
anymore.
SkyeDS: they were t hreatening to come look for Paulie and harass
Connie.
evile: nuts.
SkyeDS: what takes the cake for me is "her" dog
evile: I'm sorry y'all had to go through all that.
SkyeDS: as I am for the rest of the family (HUGS)
SkyeDS: guess the trip to the sisters' with t he kids didn't last
long as they were in the same room phonetagteaming us
evile: was bound to happen sooner or later. Divide and conquer.
Predators always cull their intended victim from the herd to go in
for the kill.
SkyeDS: I was afraid they'd say exactly what they did - "you know
this was just temporary"
SkyeDS: excuse me but no, I KNOW he told you otherwise, because I
HEARD him tell you, more than once
evile: bottom line: the dog is disappeared/dead, and the situation
would not be different if he was there 'for permanent' or 'for
temporary'
SkyeDS: I wonder if they're going to think about suing us
evile: rubber_pig's always talking about suing someone; far as I know it
hasn't happened yet.
evile: it's all just a game to keep [brother A] unbalanced, upset, and not
thinking.
SkyeDS: she's doing a damn good job of that
evile: yup
evile: and if anyone was able to talk sense into him (what has
changed here? the apartment management presumably STILL will not
allow dogs) then she'd open up a whole new attack on something
completely unrelated to get him upset all over again
SkyeDS: even if everyone else had believed the pair of us, I don't
know if that would have made any difference anyway
SkyeDS: I don't think anyone had power of prevention here
evile: They were going to take Paulie to the pound. he'd be long-dead
now, in that case.
SkyeDS: I hope everyone has the grace to apologize to you for the way
they treated you over this whole fiasco
evile: I could give a shit.
SkyeDS: a simple acknowledgement that you were right would be a nice
beginning at least
evile: I've been the punching bag for a bunch of other garbage all
through the years, might as well take this hit, too.
evile: I want my brother back. And/or her FUCKING DEAD! And since an
apology isn't likely to accomplish either, I don't need or want one.
evile: [brother A]'s message said he doesn't want to hear from me or see me
ever again. I don't know how I can let him know I'm still here and I
still love him while respecting those stated boundaries.
SkyeDS: no clue.
evile: Me neither.
evile: Did anybody get any good pictures of y'all at Gulf War?
SkyeDS: think so, don't think they're downloaded off camera yet tho
evile: Did anybody win any eq. prizes?
SkyeDS: [Keject] took first place in ShrekQuest
SkyeDS: (Keject - Drandmir)
evile: oh, tha'ts very cool.
SkyeDS: I spent $200 in 20 minutes
SkyeDS: sineater helped but not much
evile: wow.
SkyeDS: was in teh company of queens, duchesses and baronesses all
week, loaned Mirage out to them, she acquitted herself admirably -
she is a lady's/child's horse
SkyeDS: 3500 people there
evile: big crowd!
evile: I had phone duty so I get to leave at 3:30
SkyeDS: that's a blessing :)
evile: yeah.
evile: I could not get to sleep last night, so I am pretty tired
today. I had been thinking of going to Sharjinka's craft night, but I
may go to bed early instead.
SkyeDS: there will be other craft nights
evile: yup
evile: I think I'm going to have to think about making my LJ friends
only...far too many wierdos friending me these days & tossing random
comments into my LJ.
SkyeDS: :|
evile: including your little friend. ugh. "always here for you" I'm
so f-ing sure.
evile: I am going to hurt my brain trying to figure out "why
now" ....what's changed? the baby drama dying down so we had to start
something new? what?
SkyeDS: which little friend
evile: You know, your favorite little friend. He who will not go away.
SkyeDS: I truly am confused
evile: I'm sure you'll figure it out. ;P
SkyeDS: not kaleon surely
SkyeDS: I have nto been to LJ today, so I'm not sure what's going
on ...
evile: Well, it'll definitely teach me not to throw pity parties for
myself; all kindsa wierdos show up uninvited.
SkyeDS: am I going to have to go look at LJ to figure out who he who
will not go away is?
evile: As far as I know, you only have 2 'don't go away mad, just go
away''s in your life.
evile: And Mr. New Zealand freak doesn't have a LJ as far as I know.
SkyeDS: did you delete whatever he said already?
evile: nope, not going to give him the satisfaction.
evile: Let it stand as a monument to hypocrisy and a reminder to self
not to put things out in public
SkyeDS: <looking>
SkyeDS: go ahead and come running. sineater will kill you and I won't
stop him t his time.
evile: *shrug*
evile: *takes knife out of back*...yeah, I'm going to call you when I
have problems in life...FUH-reak.
evile: I guess he probably assumed that you and I were at odds once
again and figured he could get the dirt by pretending to be
concerned. fool me once & allathat.
SkyeDS: we're at odds?
SkyeDS: which explains why we are mutually friended in LJ?
evile: no, but what else could I possibly be posting in LJ about? If
my life is miserable, obviously it's because of you. (that's true in
his world, he assumes it's true in all worlds)
SkyeDS: ROFL
SkyeDS: if it were me you would have removed me from your friends list
SkyeDS: something anyone with the iq of a house fly could deduce for
themselves
evile: *shrug* no tellin'.
SkyeDS: isn't that nice to know he still reads your LJ
SkyeDS: <smirk>
evile: I dunno...there's another one that hurts my brain trying to
figure out...
SkyeDS: my banishing must have worked on some level at least that it
took me that long to figure out who you were talking about
evile: yeah...if he won't move on, at least you aren't going to let
it upset you anymore.
SkyeDS: oh well, you know I'm here and my feelings and all that, so I
won't add my due lire to your LJ
evile: *nod* I really hadn't intended on throwing a pitty party...but
it was gratifying to realize that people do give a shit about me. Too
bad it's not my birth family, but chosen family is a fine thing, as
Onyxlynxx said.
SkyeDS: who else has been invading your LJ?
evile: a bunch of TIMsters I don't recognize, apparently, and some
guy from Nolans' friends list.
SkyeDS: :|
SkyeDS: guess I"ll update my journal
evile: 15 minutes to go!
SkyeDS: :)
SkyeDS: spent $155 on kuchis
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: got a belt, a big heavy piece that could be either necklace
or belt, have to figure out what to do with it
SkyeDS: and a reversible tassle belt
evile: this is at SCA war thing?
evile: I heard the vendors there are faboo.
SkyeDS: we spent $200 in 20 minutes
SkyeDS: sineater helped but it was mostly mee
SkyeDS: and would have been more if I hadn't grounded myself
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: I can't think of anything I might have wanted that wasn't
there aplenty
evile: My favorite scent vendor was SCA. Her website doesn't exist
anymore...I wonder if she's ever at any big SCA things.
evile: course I haven't done any sniffy stuff in awhile. I gave my
soapmaking stuff to Andre
evile: well, time for me to get gone. Have a good afternoon/evening.

Mar. 23, 2005

evile wrote,
@ 2005-03-22 10:55:00

Current mood: blank

The phone calls last night from both brothers? You called it--useless
pointless drama!

Several months ago, The Pig insisted on moving them into an apartment
that didn't take pets. The problem with that is that my brother [brother A]
had a dog at the time, who was pretty much a member of the family &
her children loved, bla bla.

The dog was a pretty pitiful specimen--[brother A] adopted him when he was
living in New Mexico, living with a woman who had several dogs, and
the dog grew up roaming free over several acres with about 4 other
dogs. When [brother A] moved him to Austin, he was an only dog in a house
and a backyard. He was scared to go outside, he was scared to be on a
leash, he was pretty miserable until he moved to San Antonio and the
children became his new pack.

The Pig was making noises that sounded to me like she was going to
get the dog put down, and then of course that could be a nice big
guilt-chip to play against [brother A] anytime things got bad. You know she
would have found some way to twist it around and make it [brother A]'s fault.

So in desperation & perhaps an attempt at making common cause with my
brother sineater and his wife, I asked for their help to find the dog a
home. Turns out that they have a neighbor with 4 or 5 dogs, and
acreage, so we talked among ourselves, and worked out a plan with
[brother A], he would bring the dog to my aunt & uncle's in Austin, and then
sineater would stop by and pick up the dog and take him to Rockdale and
the cool neighbors.

sineater and his wife [told me that they] told my brother [brother A] that this
was a permanent situation, that the neighbors were adopting the dog,
and [brother A] agreed, apparently feeling at that time that a live dog you
can visit is better than nothing.

I made contact with the neighbor lady, promising to pitch in for vet
expenses. She took him in for a checkup later that week, got him
caught up on shots, and turns out the dog was riddled with heartworms.

I sent off a money order, the dog was treated, and a couple days
later he disappeared. Heartworm medicine is poison, and the dead
worms can clog the veins and arteries and kill an animal...I fear the
worst, but I don't really know.

A couple months after that, [brother A] started calling sineater and talking
like he wanted the dog back. sineater didn't know what to say, so didn't
say anything.

Apparently, it was decided by my mom and stepdad that it would be
better to tell [brother A] that the dog was dead, rather than disappeared.

And apparently sineater told [brother A] last night that very thing. So that
went over badly and now sineater and [brother A] are both calling me.

I have no doubt that it will all become my fault, and the dogs
disappearance/death will be on my hands. I find it rather hard to
care, honestly. And I'm not calling either of them back. I get to be
the big bag of shit no matter what I do, so may as well make the
least amount of effort.

--------------------------------------------------------------

nikiyoy
2005-03-22 19:09 (link) Select
*hugs* ....It's sad that they need to find things to have drama
about.. it seems like they are scraping the barrel here.

bramblekite
2005-03-22 20:50 (link) Select
Good timing on all of that--my aunt & her friend are going to San
Antonio for the day today, were going to drop by the apartment
(management of which STILL doesn't allow pets, BTW, so why the HELL
is this coming up now??) to drop off easter baskets for the children
and run...now that will turn into a "how could you do that to my dog,
how could you let THEM do that to my dog? wah wah!" session if my
Aunt isn't careful. (she got a psych degree, she can take care of
herself. I'm not too worried)

And of course my stepdad is in Houston Monday-Wednesday trying like
hell to get his mother's legal affairs and bills and whatnot in order
so he isn't going to want to hear all of this hysterical phone
calling from his sons over the damn dog.

And of course either/both brother may know that Mom and stepdad are
planning a nice stress-free couple of days at my house, so let's go
ahead and ruin THAT too while we're at it...

AND ITS ALL evilE'S FAULT!!!!!

Fuck. Me. Runnin.

onyxlynxx
2005-03-22 20:51 (link) Select
*hugs* No good deed seems to go unpunished with this group.

yup
bramblekite
2005-03-22 20:58 (link) Select
Sometimes the only sane response is withdrawal.

I am cleaning house & enjoying the sun and breezes; this too shall
pass.

kulilinei
2005-03-22 21:09 (link) Select
Sounds like a script from the Fox TV series "Arrested Development"...

***hugs***

ya know
bramblekite
2005-03-22 22:41 (link) Select
I wondered why I disliked that show so much...
==============================================

evile (bramblekite) wrote,
@ 2005-03-22 21:30:00
Current mood: crappy

It is as I assumed it would be: a Situation created in which my
brother [brother A] feels betrayed by his birth family and cuts them out of
his life. It didn't have to be the dog, it would have been something
else if that hadn't been so convenient.

I got a call from [brother A] on my home answering machine about 6pm
(luckily we were not home--on our way to dinner with Peglegasus at the time)
and the gist of it is "You've been making assumptions and talking
behind my back, I don't want you or anyone else in my family involved
with me anymore. Don't call me. I am not speaking to you anymore"
(more swear words than that, but there ya go.)

Interestingly, "Skye" called both my cell (with her cell--that's
NEVER happened before) and also left a message on the home phone
sometime after [brother A]'s call and before I got home this evening 9-
ish. "just wanting to check in"...this woman NEVER EVER calls me.
EVer. She has sineater call me to ask me stuff for her; I think this is
the second time in the entire time she's been with sineater that she has
actually picked up a phone and called me with her own hands.

I suspect that whatever conversation [brother A] and sineater had last night
(and maybe another one today?), I got painted in a very unsavory
light, indeed, thanks to the helpful background noise of Symmastia
NightmareScreecher.

So that puts me down one brother, and if I don't jump through the
next hoop very carefully, I suppose I'll be on the outs with both of
them.

Then again, inaction seems to be gaining me as much or more than
actually doing anything or calling anyone, so really, why should I
actually WORK at being the bad guy in all of this ridiculous garbage?

I called my Aunt this evening, and she said that [brother A] called her
earlier and started yelling and swearing at her (while holding
rubber_pig's newborn) and since she didn't want to hear it, and didn't
think it was good for the baby to hear all of that, she hung up.

Apparently, my mom & stepdad were going from his mom's house in
Houston to San Antonio so my stepdad could see the baby on Thursday,
and then to Austin to stay with me Thursday evening, Friday, and then
leave Saturday morning. Now, thanks to me, the dog-killer, Stepdad is
no longer welcome in their home and can't see the baby.

I love how this is all my fault. They were going to take the goddamn
dog to the fucking pound, and I at least saw to it that the dog's
last days were in an environment where he was comfortable, happy,
running with a pack, well-cared-for by people, etc.

*sigh*

In the good news, I am almost done cleaning house. The master bath
needs some work, the kitchen still needs mopped & swept (that's for
tomorrow evening), and hopefully Sweetie will at least get his stuff
that is on the dining table put away so Mom & stepdad will have a
place to sit and have coffee, or whatever, while they're here.

Profile

evile

June 2025

S	M	T	W	T	F	S
1	2	3	4	5	6	7
8	9	10	11	12	13	14
15	16	17	18	19	20	21
22	23	24	25	26	27	28
29	30

Syndicate

Page Summary

Style Credit

Style: Neutral Good for Practicality by timeasmymeasure

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags

Page generated Jun. 20th, 2025 03:59 am

Entries tagged with rubber_pig

"How do you know a relationship is toxic?"

"Being Used"

An amazing quote

3779[brother A] & [rubber_pig]'s visit

3718icq w/A

3516email w/Mom

3474icq w/A

3460 Re: the latest [brother A]/pig/mom drama

3457Re: the latest [brother A]/pig/mom drama

3438icq w/A

3394the latest [brother A]/pig/mom drama

3380icq w/A- her ranting about stewart.

Help! I'm In Love With A Narcissist

3134ICQ w/ skye

3121sigh [brother A]

3067ICQ w/A

3066icq w/sineater

3063 [brother A] called

3048icq w/A (pots & kettles)

3043 [brother A] - crap hitting the fan re: Paulie