BY FINN ROBINSON - LAST UPDATED ON 7TH NOVEMBER 2023

The sooner you ask yourself these questions, the less time you’ll waste and the faster you’ll start to live more authentically.

1. Am I willing to trade my precious time for money?

Many of us have been raised with the idea that the more money we make, the better.

We’ve been taught that money allows us to live a more fulfilling lifestyle because it allows us to buy more, bigger, or better things.

Furthermore, there’s the idea that idle hands make mischief, or that unless we’re constantly doing something productive (e.g. making money), then we’re somehow wasting time.

When you think about your living expenses, would you say that you have them covered with enough to spare each month?

If so, you could likely ease up on your work output to focus on things you actually want to do, rather than work obligations.

What would you do with extra free time?

Would you be creative with different art forms? Read more books? Spend more time with your loved ones?

Ask yourself this: what would serve you better? Spending all your time working, or paying others to work for you so you have time to spend the way you want to?

 

2. Am I living a life that aligns with my values and beliefs?

If you ever get a strong feeling in the pit of your stomach that you’re saying or doing things that aren’t authentically you, it may be a sign that you’re out of sync with who you truly are.

This is a perfect opportunity to reacquaint yourself with your true values and beliefs.

This can be frustrating if you don’t know how to go about realigning yourself. For instance, you may have no solid idea as to who you really are, let alone who you want to be or where you want to go.

This is where soul-searching introspection comes into play.

Start by asking yourself what your values and beliefs are, thereby looking for and exploring that which truly resonates with you.

Just make sure that you’re answering sincerely rather than going for the easiest or loudest option.

Additionally, be wary about asking others their opinions. You may end up having to deal with those who actively try to push you into a particular ideology and then get hostile if you decline to take part.

3. What are my biggest fears and how are they holding me back?

What do you feel are your biggest fears in life?

Are you afraid of rejection? Failure? Death?

Many people find themselves paralyzed by various fears, which in turn hold them back from experiencing some truly amazing things in life.

Consider enormous, powerful elephants who won’t try to escape their uncomfortable enclosure because it’s corded off by a simple, flimsy string. That string tells them that they aren’t allowed to cross that threshold, even though they could attain their freedom with the slightest push against it.

The flimsy string is like your fear.

The fears that paralyze most people seem insurmountable at first, but if you can gather up enough courage to get closer and confront these issues directly, you’ll find they’re nowhere near as scary as they first seemed.

They’re just wispy little strings that you can push through with minimal effort, into the freedom and joy offered beyond.

 

4. Am I living in the present moment or constantly worrying about the future or dwelling on the past?

Have you ever gotten physically hurt before? I have, and it was awful. In fact, I have pretty intense scars on my body from injuries that I sustained in horrific ways.

The thing is, those injuries happened a long time ago. I’m not bleeding from them anymore, so there’s no point in going on about the pain they caused. The hurt is gone, and all that’s left is the pale memory of the experience.

Similarly, considering how often I work with sharp implements and power tools, I will undoubtedly get hurt again in the future. But I’m not hurt yet, so there’s no point in putting bandages and casts on skin that isn’t torn or bones that aren’t broken.

When you place all your attention on either past events or those that haven’t happened yet, you’re not living your life right here and now.

You’re essentially forfeiting the gift that every moment brings, wasting it on old memories or potentially unfounded future happenings.

Think of it this way: you’ll get no nourishment from the memory of past meals or the hope of future ones. You’ll simply gnash your teeth on empty air.

5. What kind of relationships do I have in my life and are they healthy and fulfilling?

Take a look at the relationships you have with other people in your life.

When you think about spending time with them, do you feel happy about the idea of hanging out with them? Or are you bracing yourself for how they’re going to deplete or disrespect you?

Here are some questions to ask about every relationship you have:

• Can you honestly say that you trust this person?

• Is there a balance of give and take in this relationship?

• Do you feel respected and valued by this person?

• Is this person worthy of your respect?

• Do you feel emotionally safe and supported with this person?

• Do they make you a priority in their life, or are you more of an afterthought?

• Does the relationship feel like more of a joy than an obligation?

If there are more negative answers than positive ones, then it’s time to reevaluate your relationships.

We can choose how much time we spend with those who drain us. If most of your relationships are unhealthy and unfulfilling, make it a priority to either counterbalance them with partnerships that are more joyful and supportive, or end them for the sake of self-preservation.

6. What kind of person do I want to be and am I actively working toward becoming that person?

When you think about the people you respect and admire most—past and present—do you feel that you bear any resemblance to them?

In simplest terms, are you living a life that’s aligned with the traits you admire in others?

And furthermore, if you were to meet these heroes of yours, would they admire you in turn? Or be disappointed in you?

Take a look in the mirror and ask yourself if you like what you see. This goes beyond physical traits, especially those that you’ll never be able to change.

Rather, it’s what you see in your eyes and your posture. What is your soul saying to you when you meet your own gaze?

If you aren’t happy with the person you see before you, ask yourself why not.

Are you not living authentically or with purpose? Are you disappointed in your achievements?

If so, are you taking action to rectify this so you can be proud of yourself? Or are you actively choosing to keep disappointing yourself for the sake of comfort and convenience, or due to a fear of potential failure?

 

7. Am I living a life that brings me joy and fulfillment or am I just going through the motions?

There’s a Sufi hadith (saying) that suggests that individuals “die before they die.”

This refers to the idea of contemplating death frequently, including considering everything that would happen if they were to die unexpectedly.

This is a great way to promote awakening and refocus a person on what’s really important in their life.

If you were to die now, what would you regret not doing?

Are there things you would wish you had said to others while you still had the chance?

Would you have chosen to spend your life in a way that brought you more joy?

When you think about your daily tasks, ask yourself whether you’re feeling joy and fulfillment in what you’re doing, or if you’re phoning it in and going about your tasks like an automaton, willing them to be over with so you can go back to bed and forget existence for a little while.

If you aren’t experiencing joy in your day-to-day life, consider prioritizing it instead of setting it aside as an unattainable luxury.

Focus on the things that you’re passionate about and make them a reality while you still have time to do so.

8. Am I taking responsibility for my own happiness and success or am I relying on others to make me happy?

When you’re having a bad day, do you turn to the people around you to make you feel better? Or do you take the initiative to improve your state of mind?

Similarly, if you’re feeling disappointed or resentful about where you’re at in life, do you blame other people for holding you back or not offering you enough opportunities?

Everyone we encounter is going to have some type of influence on our lives, but on a fundamental level, our happiness and fulfillment are our own responsibility—not anyone else’s.

If you find that you’re constantly relying on other people to make you feel better when you’re down, or to give you opportunities instead of seeking them out for yourself, those are good signs that it’s time to become more self-reliant.

Small children depend on their parents to fulfill these types of needs, but adults need to be autonomous individuals who take measurable action for their own fulfillment.

No person is an island, and we do need one another for a number of different reasons, but you need to learn how to take the wheel and not be a passenger in your own life.

9. Am I living in a way that’s attuned to my life’s purpose?

Are you already familiar with your life’s purpose? If not, that’s okay—as long as you’re still drawing breath, you have time to figure it out.

When you live a life that’s attuned to what you feel is your sacred purpose, you dedicate a specific amount of time and energy to something that you feel is greater than yourself.

Maybe you want to devote whatever time you have left to helping those less fortunate than you are.

Or you want to compose a symphony as your magnum opus, gifting the world with an extraordinary piece of music that will entertain and inspire millions.

Every day is an opportunity to realign yourself with pursuits that are truly important to you.

If you find that you’re trudging through your days meaninglessly and wishing that you had more time to devote to pursuits and causes that actually matter to you, then you should probably sort yourself out in that regard as soon as possible.

Extra reading: 11 Examples Of Life Purpose Statements That You Could Adopt

10. What legacy do I want to leave behind?

Years ago, my partner was working at a glamorous job that she loathed but that paid her well and allowed her the opportunity to travel extensively.

After being asked this question, she took a solid look at her life and determined that everything she was doing was empty and would make no lasting impact on the world after she was gone.

This epiphany caused her to completely shift direction in her career. She went back to school, got certified in permaculture garden design and herbal medicine, and has since spent years teaching others how to grow their own food and heal their own bodies.

When you think about your life and all the things that are important to you, do you feel that you’re leaving behind a legacy that will benefit others?

Are you doing anything of note that you’ll be remembered for? Or leaving valuable resources to your offspring as an inheritance?

If not, think about where you are now and what kind of legacy you’d like to leave.

If you aren’t already taking action to leave something amazing behind after you go, consider changing direction.

This way, you’ll leave your little corner of the world in slightly better shape than how you found it, and perhaps even be remembered fondly for your beneficent actions.

 

Taking magnesium daily now. It does seem to help.

I had a good day yesterday and I've had a good weekend so far.

Last night, I had supper at El Arroyo with my Aunt L and Uncle Bob & cousin Warrenwarren & his GF. The margarita was weak, but their queso was awesome and the service was excellent. We had a really good visit. It's nice to see Warren becoming such a decent grownup person. His girlfriend is awesome, too. Has her own business, looking to get a condo or townhouse soon instead of paying rent. She's a smart gal. And they have a lot of interests in common: being outdoors, camping and kayaking and hiking, live music, etc. I'd be happy if they ended up being a long term thing.

After supper, I went to the Daugherty Arts Center & met up with my friend Drey. We chit chatted a bit and I didn't see any of the other folks who had RSVPd to my facebook event invitation, so I was getting worried that he thought I'd somehow tricked him into being on a 'date' with me. But then Dree and her friend Chris showed up so it was all better. Drey is such a funny little person. I loved his outfit & his "Corset Inspector" medal. I am glad the Universe saw fit to put him in Austin.

We saw "Alvida and the Airship Pirates" which was a short silly little play, but with some good eye candy--cute girls and cool costumes. If I had the body for it, I might want to do the 'school girl gone bad' interpretation of Steampunk, too, cuz it was hawt, and I like stockings. But...oh well. I was about as risky as I was comfortable with in a skirt that came above my knees and funky tights, a vest over a long sleeve knit shirt & Thax's red newsboy cap & goggles. I wore the pendant he got me for Xmas and had Knighthorse embellish to be all steampunky, my pirate shot glass necklace that I got at Sherwood last year, and my new "skull and crossbones" glasses. So that was cool.

After the play, Dree, Chris, and Drey scattered, so I went on to Valatan & Blissfish's house for "Leftover Dinner"...got to try pop rock and chipotle infused dark chocolate (nom!) and a couple glasses of red wine, got to visit with people and relax and just have a nice time.

I got home around midnight and slept ALMOST til my alarm went off at 7:30, then went on to work and cranked out 4 hrs of OT. Got lunch at New World Deli (I'd been craving their curry chicken salad) and then shopped a bit at Big Lots and made a quick stop at Target to get tennis balls.

Went to Valatan & Blissfish's again, and Valatan and I went to the high school near their house and played tennis for maybe 30 min or so until I started getting to the 'almost pukey' stage of physical exercise. We walked back to his place and I drank some water, and now I'm home.

I like doing stuff and having plans and getting things done.

I have some shopping to do and 2 more rooms of the house to clean today. there is an Astronomy thing at St Stephen's school starting at 6 tonight. I don't know if I'm gonna make it. I'm feeling pretty tired at the moment. That was good tennis. Well, sucky tennis, but good exercise.

Tomorrow is Sherwood Faire with a whole gang of folks. I am looking forward to that very much.

I've done a good job of staying busy and trying to be happy while Thax is out of town for work, I think. There are things to worry about but there is no point in doing so, so I am going to do less of that, if I can possibly help it.

The last couple days is more what I want my life to look like. A better balance of work and play, time with family and friends. Getting things done. Healthy activities along with a bit of hedonism.

I'm grateful for so many good people in my life.

from Taming Your Gremlin by Rick Carson

THE PLEASANT PERSON ACT

Acting can be fun as long as you clearly understand that you are not your act. A good act can get you some strokes, help you win friends, and help you make a living. Some of the most uptight people I know have good acts. So, puleez, if you get into acting, enjoy it! Just don't take your act too seriously. You risk a feeling of real emptiness if you do. Acting should be thought of as practical, as experimentation, as a good time; even as a well-planned manipulation, as conscious pretensiousness, or as entertainment. Some acts are, of course, better than others. You'll be best served to select an act that is consistent with the natural you.

The Pleasant Person Act is one of the most popular. I asked several of my clients, students, and colleagues about this act. All were aware of it, and some have used it as a base from which they have created their own unique performing style. I was surprised by the degree of agreement I found among those I consulted as to the essential attributes of the Pleasant Person Act. Here they are:( Read more... )

....
Remember, you're not your act.

My spiritual number: ( Read more... )
====================================


In 2009, bramblekite resolves to:( Read more... )

http://webhome.idirect.com/~kehamilt/ipsyeq.html

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE & EMOTIONAL COMPETENCE( Read more... )

(I scored a 30 on the test, BTW. Out of a possible 100. 50 is average. I have a LOT to learn. AFOG. *grumble, groan*)

After yet another episode of being dragged by circumstances out of my happy denial place and face-to-face once again with My Issues, I think I've decided that I must find/make time to deal with this, or something is going to break, and I fear it will be me.

I think I will start with alanon. I think a fair number of my dysfunctional coping strategies stem from my family history of alcholism. It may be chicken/eggy to wonder if the denial, lack of communication, emotional distance, Little Prince Goldensprog & his sister Cinderella-Without-The-Ball Syndrome created the alcoholics on both sides of my family line, or if it was created BY the alcoholics...but either way, there are bad patterns of behavior that need to be told to fuck off out of my life on no uncertain terms.

At some point, it really does become more painful to try and stay the same than it is to face the dangerous uncertainty of change.

Wish me luck.

1) back to black cherry Jan 1!
2) work harder on debts
3) get a professional bra fitting
4) talk with Niki's doctor & possibly see endocrinologist
5) get eyes checked/new glasses & contacts
6) get teeth checked
7) get first mammogram
8) work harder on diet & exercise
a) do something physical every day, including weekends, at least 15
minutes.
b) choose more fresh foods & fewer pre-packaged, processed items
9) talk with accountant about ending Magpies
10) save $ every month!