evile

Part of the narc’s pathology is believing that they are superior to others and must interact only with other superior beings. From this standpoint, it’s easy to see why they crave membership in exclusive groups, so that they can have people to look down on, and also so that other members of the exclusive group can confirm to them that they are indeed special in some way.

On the other side of the coin, if they are excluded from membership in a group, that also gives them supply in that they can create conflict and chaos over being excluded. Being told they aren’t a good fit for a group, or that they are being let go from a group, gives them the opportunity to badmouth group members & leadership, and go tell their sad story of being kicked out or denied admittance to their flying monkeys/negative advocates.

Either way it’s a win for the narcissist. They get drama and attention out of it, no matter how it plays out.

==============

Editing to add:  Posts tagged 'quora' were originally my answers to peoples' questions on quora.com.  They were monetized but I am giving them away for free here. 

If you feel inclined to support my writing, here's my paypal 

And if you prefer to pay it forward, I recommend Safe Place as an excellent place to support.

 

talked too much. Don't actually trust her. Need to NOT give her
ammo!!!
===============================================

Sharjinka: Hello.
evile: hey! How's your day going?
Sharjinka: It's pretty much over work-wise and I'm bored. :-/

evile: that sucks!
evile: You can come do some of my work if you want!
Sharjinka: I've been posting in my LJ and surfing the web.

Sharjinka: I thought I'd get an early start on my homework. SOME of
Greek is starting to click for me. ;-)
evile: good. just took a little extra time, eh?
Sharjinka: It really did. I hate all the "the" articles. Damnit.
Masculine, feminine, and neuter. I just want to smack Greeks. :-D
evile: I took French and Latin in HS, so it's sort ofo normal for me.
evile: Sorry I deleted my comment from your LJ, btw. I figured Skye_ds
would see it and take it personally...she seems to be spoiling for
some drama right now, and i dont want to be the one to give it to her.
Sharjinka: What comment was that? Did I say something that would
provoke a fight??
evile: No, I said something on your post re: the Dalai Lama about how
I mistrust people who purport to be spiritually enlightened and dont'
have a sense of humor.
Sharjinka: I can see her starting something over that. :-/
evile: yup.
evile: whenever she starts feeling bad, she has to start a ruckus.
Sharjinka: Why does she feel bad this time?
evile: she was ill. before that she was getting into stuff on
hfsinchaos with gabe and pta
Sharjinka: Okay. Yeah....she asked me some rules questions about HFS
and I wondered what that was about....
evile: she doesn't even fight, so I dont know why she needs to bother
with talking about rules and whatever.
Sharjinka: Yeah.... I try not to make too many comments myself. I
did say I wasn't Candy. ;-) People seem to think I'm some girl
that's flaming on the Chaos site.
evile: wierd.
evile: I hardly ever go to chaos unless someone mentions an
interesting thread or whatever.
Sharjinka: I honestly didn't know until Cheli was visiting and told
me. I had no idea.
evile: that is *so* not your style. Skye_dss, yes, yours, NO

Sharjinka: I was a bit miffed but calmed down fast. Those debates
and flames are so silly and I don't even read them! ;-)
evile: yup. me either.
Sharjinka: I just don't like the idea of someone thinking I'd do that
so I cleared it up.
evile: good.
Sharjinka: I don't know why she's involving herself in that stuff.
Does she not have a sense of humor about spirituality?? ;-)
evile: she doesn't have a sense of humor about anything relating to
herself., I dont think.
Sharjinka: Yeah....I've noticed that.
Sharjinka: I'm being random today and jumping around on subjects. It
took me a while to find my favorite Shakespeare quote....
evile: someone, gabe or pta, commented about making head
shots "jokingly" and she said "oh, head shots are illegal!" and then
gabe said "the only headshot I remember is someone hitting Kelsar
with an axe!"
Sharjinka: Oh....boy. ;-) I remember that too.
Sharjinka: I was so proud of him for keeping his temper.
evile: yup. It could have been a lot worse than it was...
Sharjinka: I agree. I was angry when I found out about it.
evile: yup.
Sharjinka: Jose was pretty angry too. Had to talk to him for a few
minutes....
evile: I'm sure. If it'd been me, I'd have called cops and pressed
charges, but that's just me.
Sharjinka: I told her that I was so angry with her that I would talk
to her later when my temper had cooled a bit.
evile: HFSers never seem to do the sensible thing and involve the
authorities when it's appropriate. PtA should have gone to jail for
stealing, Skye_ds should have been charged with assault. But that's
just not the way they do things in the HFS.
Sharjinka: I thought she had nerve to act surprised that I was mad.
Sharjinka: I agree. *sigh*
evile: she just has no clue how inappropriate she is.
evile: and for whatever reasons, she never ever gets held accountable
for her actions. It infuriates me.
Sharjinka: I can understand that.
evile: It's kind of like..why shoudl she change her behavior? it
never gets her in much trouble, she gets what she wants all the
time...why learn to behave like a normal person?
Sharjinka: I do consider it hideous and I keep telling myself I need
to be harder on folks but I already tried with PtA. I still don't
know why he's not in jail....
evile: & she's the kind of person who needs to be taught NOT to bully
by someone bigger and meaner than she is hitting her harder than
she hits others until she gets some empathy pounded into her.
Sharjinka: I wish it would happen in all honesty...
evile: Well, she keeps finding sex partners, social groups &
employers who dont' ever make her face up to her mistakes.
evile: I think on some level, her body punishes her by getting sick
when she gets into fights or gets stressed by the drama she
creates...but I doubt she's going to draw any cause/effect from that.
Not self-aware enough. And, obviously the weight is an ongoing
message from her body that things are Not Right.
Sharjinka: I think you're right but it doesn't seem to be enough.
Frustrating. Grrrr....
evile: nope, she just isnt' seeing a connection between her life
choices, her eating habits, and her health...but oh well. I have
better things to think about most of the time.
Sharjinka: True.
evile: My life got so much easier as soon as I stopped trying to have
a real relationship with her.
Sharjinka: I can understand that. She's not been in contact with me
since I told her I felt her horses were too advanced for the people
she put on them.
evile: *nod*
Sharjinka: So...I've been kind of happy about that.
Sharjinka: She didn't seem too happy about my answers with HFS rules
either.
evile: Oh well.
Sharjinka: I don't feel the loss. :-D
evile: nah. I miss sineater when I think about it (which I try not
to)...but he's a grownup and he's made his choices in life, a life
which does not include me, apparently.
Sharjinka: That's very sad. I really see a stuck, miserable person
when I ...see him. Which is rare.
evile: yup.
Sharjinka: *sigh*
evile: yup. His choice. He may not realize he has one at this point,
but he does.
Sharjinka: I think that's part of his problem. His thinking he has
no choice when he does.
evile: I know. I've tried my best to let him know he has
options...but that's all I can do.
Sharjinka: True. I'm sorry.
evile: me too.
evile: sonar0m 'accidentally' ran into me on Monday at Ben & Jerry's w
ith his parents. Skye_ds tried to tell me that after I left, his
parents talked shit about me. It was pretty laughable.
Sharjinka: What was that all about?
evile: No clue. I guess it threatens her to think of people she
doesn't like getting along with one another...or m aybe she thought
she'd undermine my self-confidence by telling me that someone doesn't
like me...
Sharjinka: Sounds like both are a possibility....
evile: they seemed like very normal people, and my judgement is
pretty good.
Sharjinka: I've heard good things about them and I feel sorry for
them.
evile: she was nasty to me at Tablerock.
Sharjinka: Was she? What a ho!
evile: it was bizarre. I walked up and said hi,and she just started
bossing sineater and sonar0m around "we've got to go gte ready for our
show, water the horses, grab this, carry that, come on!"
Sharjinka: What a bitchy thing to do! Was she just making sure they
didn't talk to you?
evile: I think so.
Sharjinka: Damn. *sigh*
evile: I teased sonar0m a little about it when I saw him at the ice
cream shop. He had the good grace to be embarassed. I think he
realizes how rude she is and, somewhere, knows that he should behave
better.
Sharjinka: I know what you mean. I still can't believe the way she
talks to them. I'm going to lose it someday. I really am. You just
don't talk to friends like that.
evile: they are adults, and they choose to stay while she talks to
them like that...and I've learned from many attempts that saying
anything just makes them hate you and gives her more control
Sharjinka: Yes. I have been fairly quiet about it.
evile: it's pretty much a no-win situation.
Sharjinka: Yeah....kind of like that situation with me and Cathy
years ago when she was spreading rumors about me. I saw no way to
win so I just stayed quiet.
evile: yeah.
evile: You hope that things will eventually come back and bite 'em in
the ass. In some cases, yes, in others, no.
Sharjinka: Yes. I was lucky in that case. Bit her hard. Wish it
would do that with Skye_ds.
evile: well, maybe Karma is just waiting for a really great time to
deliver an extra-special-large WHOMP
Sharjinka: I hope I live to see it. :-D
evile: me too. I want front row, center seats
Sharjinka: I'll bring the popcorn.
evile: heheh. I'm thinking we'll need marshmallows :) And STICKS
Sharjinka: Yeah. I can see that. Sticks are multi-purpose, useful.
evile: heh. yup!
Sharjinka: :-D

 

evile: hey :) How was your weekend?
SkyeDS: largely unproductive but oh well. What little got done was
good.
SkyeDS: Sitting here listening to the $100+ worth of music I bought
evile: that's good. I heard the Drandmir thing had drama. glad
Imissed it.
SkyeDS: and I have just decided that for classical I'm going to use 6
Dances from the Nutcracker
SkyeDS: I don't care that they aren't period.
SkyeDS: these are fantasy faires
SkyeDS: what happened at Drandmir?
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: all I know is Jinx didn't have a good time (ie what's in
her lj)
evile: Oh, I dunno, Sharjinka had some kind of misunderstandign with
someone. And of course rather than tell the person who hurt her
feelings, she's going to post it on her LJ.
SkyeDS: I guess it is innate for a reenACTment group to cherish drama
evile: yup
SkyeDS: most of Drandmir ignores me except when they want something
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: and then when they do want something, I try to provide, and
half the time that's turned down
SkyeDS: <shrug>
SkyeDS: I'm a little disappointed that I didn't take off more after
fasting Saturday, but the inches were nice
evile: *nod* that's very cool. Feeling more energy?
SkyeDS: more mental clarity yes
SkyeDS: still tired because I haven't slept enough
evile: cool :)
SkyeDS: but that's because I have bad sleep habits
SkyeDS: no more waking up between 1 - 3 am, and that was due to diet
evile: I had bad dreams last night. Mind is really pushing me to get
into another job.
SkyeDS: I remember my dreams more now
SkyeDS: and they're very weird
evile: yup. that happened when I started taking flaxseed & epo
SkyeDS: I haven't even started on that yet
SkyeDS: I'm going to though
evile: *nod* good stuff, I swear by it
SkyeDS: I think there's flax in my supplements.
SkyeDS: I mixed my beloved strawberry banana smoothies with yogurt
evile: sounds good.
SkyeDS: I like them better straight but I need the yogurt to replace
the good flora in my system that I killed along with the bad
SkyeDS: "miracle juice" = cranberry, orange, lemon, cinnamon, nutmeg,
ginger and water concoction
SkyeDS: I have decided I could happily live on strawberry banana
smoothies and orange juice all day, and apples when I need to chew
something
evile: that's good
SkyeDS: do you know how long it's taken others to move around
laterally at the state?
evile: nope.
evile: what I think is fun is when people get promoted, don't like
it, and go back to their old job and somehow manage to retain the
higher rate of pay.
SkyeDS: be handy if you could figure out how
evile: yah.
SkyeDS: Hugh hasn't been here this morning and hasn't called, I
wonder if I should be worried
evile: hm. Probably not. Mondays are good for skipping work,if you
can :)
SkyeDS: I'd like to work a 4/10 but that's not going to happen when I
drive 2 hours every day, even though I don't take lunch hour
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: oh man.
SkyeDS: I was having a hard enough time trying to figure out what
from Last Temptation I'd like to use
SkyeDS: and now that I have the Flamenco and Saidi, it's going to be
even harder, and I still haven't put together choreography
SkyeDS: and it's THIS Saturday.
evile: *nod* yup. it's coming up quick.
SkyeDS: I think I'll email J/B tomorrow and ask her if she's got
anything on paper. If she does could I buy her lunch and pick it up
then, because we really need to work every night this week.
SkyeDS: rather than walk through practice tomorrow.
evile: yeah.
SkyeDS: there he is - car trouble
evile: Unless Mom wants to go to Ravens Loft, I think I'll end up
staying in town this weekend.
evile: car trouble on a monday....major suck!
SkyeDS: Courtney's car that is. He gave her his father's Cadillac
evile: *nod*
evile: My boss gets back from vacay tomorrow. I am going to ask her
for some time off to spend with Mom.
SkyeDS: they came this weekend past, or are coming this weekend next?
SkyeDS: I forgot
evile: no 'they'. just mom.
evile: she got here yesterday and will be here about a week, she's
thinking.
evile: [brother A] and the Pig are telling everyone--family, friends,
friends of Gary's & the family, CPS, everyone, that Mom
abused/molested the girls.
evile: I *really* want her DEAD.
SkyeDS: omfg
evile: Dead.
SkyeDS: none of us are safe, are we.
evile: Mom has been an educator for over 20 years. If there was *any*
inappropriate behavior on her part, EVER, she would not still be
certified to teach in at least 4 states.
SkyeDS: that's all your Mom and I need. Our lives are built around
children.
evile: Makes me sick.
evile: Every time I think "this person can't sink to any further
depth of filth and slime" she DOES.
SkyeDS: maybe we should ask onyxlynxx what to do to protect ourselves
SkyeDS: I'd ask Linda if she were still here
evile: & dragging my much-beloved but pretty goddamned stupid brother
along with her.
evile: you can't prove a negative. The best defense, IMHO, is to just
laugh in her fuckin' face if she ever gets the ovaries to bring these
accusations to you in person.
SkyeDS: I'm hoping K never hears from the CPS. But I'm thinking
depending on who there gets their paws on this, sometimes outcry is
all they seem to need.
SkyeDS: given what's happened to Kelly and Stephanie
evile: Mom is calling the caseworker herself.
SkyeDS: if resources weren't an issue (money time aggravation) I'd
suggest a defamation lawsuit
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: but then as I told sineater this morning I decided that going
after our last tenants wasn't worth those resources
SkyeDS: and that would have just been $60 in a JP court
evile: yup...
SkyeDS: but what she's doing is definitely illegal on I think more
than one account
SkyeDS: defamation/libel/slander, harassment, etc
evile: yup.
SkyeDS: I wonder if the police will end up involved
evile: *shrug* I think [rubber pig]'s main interest is in making sure the
state will never give custody of the children to anyone in our
family; I think she's accomplished that, without use of the police
SkyeDS: G must be ready to declare global thermonuclear war, surely
evile: I'm sure.
SkyeDS: and how on earth is the RP going to explain their unorthodox
living situation and history to CPS
evile: no tellin. Apparently the CPS has no problem with the ex
husband living with them and taking care of the girls.
SkyeDS: they obviously didn't mention the wedding of the magic
internet
evile: apparently, supposedly, she got a real divorce and she and
[brother A] had a real JP marriage
evile: whatever. I see her lips moving, I assume she's lying.
SkyeDS: "pre emptive" is a term bandied about a lot lately
SkyeDS: in examining my covenants, I think that the words "in order
to prevent" are more preventative than curative, in other words, "pre
emptive"
evile: right. you dont' wait for the rabid dog to bite you, you shoot
the fuckin' thing as soon as it walks into your yard.
SkyeDS: right. there are levels of pre emptive. one is shoot the
dog when it's in your yard. the other is shoot it before it's in
your yard, if you know it to be rabid, etc.
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: I think of it as "situational ethics" because I don't know
what else to call it, even though I know that term has connotations
otherwise
SkyeDS: I really do think situations need to be examined for
distinguishing minutiae before applying ethics.
SkyeDS: anyway, I think w hat I'm getting at is, I see no problem
with doing what needs to be done about her. If you want a posse
behind you, say the word.
evile: *nod* I am lucky in that I saw far enough ahead to remove
myself from the situation, so I have no personal stake in what
happens, other than really loving my family and hating to see them
hurt.
SkyeDS: she comes near me and mine, dark moon/black
candles/urine/mense blood will be the least of what she has to worry
about
SkyeDS: although often that kind of banishment by itself seems to do
the trick quite satisfactorily in past
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: hasn't [aunt L] spent as much time or more with the kids than
[K/mom]?
evile: yup, but other than the 'back surgery' thing, never without
[brother A] & [rubber pig]
SkyeDS: hopefully she will be immune from all this then
evile: it's such a witch hunt issue. child abuse/molestation....it's
hideous that someone would take away from the people who really have
abuse stories in order to further their own agenda.
evile: sort of like drunk sorority girls yelling 'rape' the morning
after because they regret sleeping with someone.
SkyeDS: that's t he reason maybe that CPS has to run down every outcry
evile: yup. what a waste of manpower, that could be used actually
taking care of kids with real problems, (other than psychopathic
bitch mothers)
SkyeDS: woulda coulda shoulda - called CPS on [rubber pig] first, maybe,
although I don't know what to have reported
evile: exactly.
evile: the GWNN Munch was fun on SAturday--got too crowded & too
noisy pretty quick, but other than that.
SkyeDS: :)
SkyeDS: couldn't eat Saturday so I spent a great deal of time
watching cooking shows
SkyeDS: real smart
evile: Saw my favorite Rope Dom and got to visit with a couple who
are my favorite dom & sub
evile: He brought his bug-bite clicker & was showing it to everyone.
I got my 15 minutes of fame last night--"And HERE'S the gal who
showed me this great new toy!"
SkyeDS: :D
SkyeDS: here's to toys and the lucre with which to obtain them ;)
evile: I can't wait to get my flash cotton in the mail to test
whether the clicker will ignite it :)
evile: $4.50, pretty cheap toy.
SkyeDS: I am tempted to call a sub shop and order a salad ahead of
time and go pick it up for lunch
evile: that sounds like a good plan :)
SkyeDS: tender chicken breast strips are topped with Parmesan, Romano
and Asiago cheese, sprinkled with spices, Peppercorn Caesar dressing
SkyeDS: nummy
SkyeDS: I was lazy and left my own such salad makings at home this
morning
evile: oops.
evile: ooh, I got my mini torches & commando cloth on Friday :)
SkyeDS: remember that hero figure you created, with the bat wings and
the gun?
SkyeDS: no reason you couldn't play that in HFS, gun included
SkyeDS: we don't have a defined "period" the way SCA does - I don't t
hink anyway.
SkyeDS: and that could be loosely under the bailiwick of "fantasy"
SkyeDS: Hugh's birthday is tomorrow. Gift certificate is a given,
but I need to figure out whether Amazon, Cabela's, or Auto Zone or
some other auto store (I can't begin to figure out which one)
evile: I dressed like that for something, once.
evile: no gun.
evile: cabelas' was a madhouse when we drove by on Sunday...I
wouldn't shop there. But they have a website.
SkyeDS: right. I haven't been yet, I just use their website as a
benchmark when I'm pricing things.
evile: the parking lot is HUGE and is always packed whenever we go by.
SkyeDS: Hugh's been. He said it was redneck heaven.
evile: heehee. Ben said it was full of dead stuff.
SkyeDS: I'm going to scoot out of here and run to Hancock Ctr to get
me a salad, I'll BBIAB
SkyeDS: bk
SkyeDS: boss walked in right as I was walking out so my trip was
considerably delayed
evile: yeah, I bet!
evile: found a rather interesting LJ, browsing friends of friends
http://www.livejournal.com/users/alabastard/
SkyeDS: nods
SkyeDS: his profile is interesting
evile: very much so. I think y'all have a lot in common :)
SkyeDS: dangerous to know... I have a hard time seeing myself that
way, but the parents of a good many of my young friends seem to think
so
evile: not really that, that's merely a Byron quote, but the horses &
musical background, SCA, troubles with drama mongers, etc...
SkyeDS: I did like the poem about gossip
evile: yup
SkyeDS: going to explore his lj much more thoroughly when I finish
this edit project, deadline this afternoon
evile: *nod*
evile: ooh, pretty.
http://www.magicalfashions.com/catalog/catalogimages/purple%
20shawl.jpg
SkyeDS: wow
evile: I saw one similar at the last casa de luz show, red tones, and
I then went to ebay and found one in silver/muted blue/etc. Now I
find a whole jackpot of any color you can think of. I reeally like.
SkyeDS: so like I got this 60$ kuchi choker on ebay for $20
SkyeDS: but they aren't kidding about the choke part
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: I spend a lot of time pulling it away from my throat
evile: I don't usually like chokers, for that reason.
SkyeDS: it looks really good with the kuchi belt
SkyeDS: and I can't ride in either one, unless it's just a parade
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: Hugh is going to kill little Michael (and I'm not going to
stop him)
evile: oh,dear.
SkyeDS: maybe Hugh will figure out on his own why I kept steering
Michael in the direction of designing the webpage adn AWAY from my
important functions
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: Hugh wanted Michael working on filing. No, I don't think
so. The point of filing is to be able to find something without
having to tear the entire office apart looking for it.
evile: yup
SkyeDS: well, I made the deadline with a couple of hours to spare
SkyeDS: and he just stormed out to go fight with the mechanics
SkyeDS: I asked him if I could just email the edits to the publisher
myself, and he said not
SkyeDS: <shrugs>
evile: uh oh. I hope it all works out OK.
SkyeDS: he is going to kill somebody today
SkyeDS: and as long as it isn't me I don't know that I care
evile: *nod* sounds like a plan :P
SkyeDS: Can't get a date, aging badly? Stalk an old obsession with
ludicrous rumours, yeah that's a great use of time.
(Alabastard Quote, lol)
evile: *giggle* See, I thought you two had some things in common.
evile: well, time for me to pack up.
*hugs* see ya!

 

evile: omfg, ew. Skye. is trying to imply (I think) that she and one of
the HFSers have done...something.
Sharjinka: Other than sonar0m???
evile: yup.
evile: today she is on her "every woman in the world wants my men, ha
ha!" spiel. I wonder what gets her on certain topics/tangents? It
would be an interestng psychological study.
Sharjinka: Ewww.....who is she implying?? Or is she being subtle
(which in itself is shocking).
evile: This must NEVER pass between anybody but you and me, OK?
Sharjinka: Okay..... but you're scaring me....
evile: Hojo.
Seriously..not a word to ANYONE. I'm sure it would create too much
crap if it hit the airwaves.
Sharjinka: Really?? Hojo.....
evile: And when I pressed her for details, she laughed it off & acted
like she was kidding, so...maybe I wasn't supposed to press her.
Sharjinka: Hmmmm....
evile: I don't think she has. I don't think he even talks to her.
Sharjinka: He DOES have extremely bad taste in women....
Sharjinka: But I don't think they've talked. Maybe a long time ago
when he was young and stupid?
evile: Maybe. It would have to be a VERY long time ago. But he's been
playing HFS forever, maybe even backwhen she was at Barad Duin with
whatsisname. Lord British.
Sharjinka: Could have been. Ya know....I only remember Lord British
visiting the field once. He helped HFS out legally....and wasn't
real active.
evile: she was still psycho back then, but at least she was prettier.
evile: Hell, I would have done her back then.
Sharjinka: Yeah....
Sharjinka: I mean....not me but yes, she was prettier.
evile: *laff* I know :)
Sharjinka: I feel that way about very few women and I don't think I
ever felt that way about her.
evile: Heh. actually, her personality was so creepy sineater-stalker, I
wouldn't have...but if there had been some way to turn off the
personality, I wouldn't have minded taking her off to my lair.
Sharjinka: Did you happen to read the basketball post?? What did you
think??
Sharjinka: I could see that. I used to dread her talking to me
because she would keep me there forever.
evile: *nod* I did. It was cool. I didn't have any editing to
suggest, so I didn't say anything.
Sharjinka: It's a bit rough. I'm still working on it.
evile: *nod*
Sharjinka: I would like to write about the high school confrontation
I had when I was seen on the basketball courts. That was interesting.
Sharjinka: One of the guys at my high school accused me of being a
n****** and prefering their company to the high school folks.
evile: good lord.
Sharjinka: I told him I wasn't that but I did prefer their company.
The guys on the basketball courts didn't like me but they weren't
cruel about it. They didn't like my lack of skill.... and there
were racial and gender issues but at least, they were up front about
it.
evile: *nod* I'd much rather have stuff be out in the open, rather
than people who smile to my face and then stab me in the back.
Sharjinka: The popular kids used to periodically pretend to be
friends with me and then humiliate me later. The guys on the
basketball courts NEVER did that.
evile: *nod*
Sharjinka: They could get mean and nasty but I knew to expect it. ;-)
evile: exactly.
Sharjinka: And when those three guys jumped the white guy....I had no
idea that they even cared. They were SO mad and it took a few
seconds to register that they were mad that the guy hit me. :-D
evile: :)
Sharjinka: Not the kind of guys you pissed off. That's why I did the
humor thing! I never wanted them mad at me!
evile: *nod*
Sharjinka: I never realized that I was tough at all until I got off
the courts. ;-) And even then, it took convincing. Those guys were
tough! :-D
Sharjinka: I didn't quite compare.
evile: yeah...but on a scale of 1-10, they're probably 10, Most
people are probably 2, and you're somewhere in the middle.
Sharjinka: That might be the case. When the HFSers started saying I
was tough, I only laughed. I was still playing basketball and the
guys on the courts wouldn't agree with them! ;-)
evile: *nod*
evile: As a somewhat bitter feminist, in my experience I find that a
woman has to be twice as competent and twice as tough to be
considered half as good.
Sharjinka: Luckily, this isn't difficult. ;-)
evile: *laugh* true enough :)
Sharjinka: :-D
evile: boys are dumb.
Sharjinka: It's funny.... My mentality was just strange back then.
I never considered myself because of being pushed around in high
school but .....I don't think the high school boys could've been on
the courts like that. :-D Too dumb. One wrong word and you're
toast. ;-)
evile: yup.
Sharjinka: I got snarky very rarely. I had a sharp wit maybe but I
didn't use it very much.
Sharjinka: After seven years or so....I could be a bit more snarky....
evile: actions speak louder than words, anyway.
Sharjinka: I was still careful. I mean....most of the guys were
armed.
evile: heh.
Sharjinka: :-D
Sharjinka: I tried to carry a knife but when I realized I
couldn't .....do that.... I quit carrying it. I just couldn't do
the whole stabby thing. :-(
Sharjinka: Humor was my best weapon. ;-)
evile: *nod*
evile: I saw a study that said the thing women fear most from men is
rape/murder, the thing men fear most from women is laughter.
Sharjinka: I pulled it one day and .....I mean....I didn't hurt them
but I realized.... I couldn't do it. He had threatened me and it
was sort of a pre-emptive strike but.... I never took it back to the
courts.
Sharjinka: :-) That's what he threatened. He wasn't one of the
regulars....
evile: *nod*
Sharjinka: He was so scared.... He may have had an accident on the
court but I wasn't sure.
evile: heh!
Sharjinka: Scared me but I decided I would never do that again.
evile: *nod* at the end of it all, you have to do what you feel is
right for your own honor.
Sharjinka: It did mean there was a chance of being hurt....but I
couldn't do that to someone else....
evile: *nod*
Sharjinka: I had to be backed into a corner to figure out that
one. ;-)
evile: sometimes that's what it takes.
Sharjinka: Yeah....
evile: You going to be at the park this weekend? I might, but it'd be
later.
Sharjinka: I'm going to try and make it, yes. Last chance to see
them before vacation.
evile: *nod* Plus, I think Skye and sineater will be at Skye's family
reunion all weekend.
Sharjinka: BONUS! ;-)

evile: she might do something crazy in order to be at the park
Sunday, anyway, but for now it's looking like they'll be gone all
weekend.
Sharjinka: I hope so.
evile: I think she's really looking for a reason for drama. Her
brother's kids are going to be there.
Sharjinka: What's so dramatic about that?
evile: *shrug* they'll be getting more attention than her and
her 'children'.
Sharjinka: They are human beings and kids.....
evile: So there will just about have to be a scene, to make it all
about her again. If I know my UB, and I do.
Sharjinka: *sigh* Sad.
evile: it really is. And in her bizarre logic form, it will all be
perfectly justified and make perfect sense that she behave
outrageously and leave early.
Sharjinka: *sigh*
evile: yeah, me too. She's been to 2 or 3 family reunions now and
managed to have an OK time. Probably because the family is trying
rEALLY hard. But something will eventually have to crack, just the
way she is.
evile: Oh well. feh. topic change. She wastes too much of my energy.
Sharjinka: Geez. I'm looking forward to the family reunion I'm going
to. We will talk, catch up and I plan to sleep a lot. ;-)
evile: *nod* that's as it should be.
Sharjinka: I haven't seen a lot of them in a long time. They're not
drama folks but I hope I do okay.

evile: *nod* I am sure it will be fine.
Sharjinka: I hope so. Some of the kids will be new to me.
evile: *nod* Kids are always a nice way to get away from boring
grownup talk. and everyone goes "Look how good she is with the
children!"
evile: (when really, I just want to play iwth their toys)
Sharjinka: I'm the same way! ;-)
evile: it's bad that our family doesn't ahve kids anymore. Our
youngest is now 17. (unless you count the Pig and her kids, and I
don't.)
Sharjinka: I think we have some babies..... I'm not sure.
evile: heh. I guess you'll find out. I am not a fan of very small
babies, I like them when they are able to walk and talk and stuff
Sharjinka: I'm the same way. I hope I don't have to hold them too
long.
evile: *giggles* I can't even picture you holding a baby!
Sharjinka: I have but it's awkward for me.
evile: *nod* I'm always worried which end is going to make a mess
first.
Sharjinka: That's me too.

evile: Oh well. My friend D's 5 month old yarfed on me and I didn't
die. So ...
Sharjinka: I just get nervous with small children.
evile: me too. They're so fragile.
evile: Kulilinei's baby is so cute. He's just over a year. I played with
him more htan I talked ot the grownups at her party last weekend. I
played with him the way I play with my cat, Spaz. He loved it.
Sharjinka: :-D
evile: I stand over Spaz and do my fingers like I'm going to grab her
or tickle her, and she rolls on her back and makes all these squeaky
noises.
Sharjinka: Cute!
evile: So I did that with Kai, and he wrinkled up his little nose and
smiled REAL BIG and ran up and hugged my leg.
Sharjinka: Children are so strange.... and unpredictable. ;-)
evile: I know. They can be awesome, though, assuming their parents
are decent.
Sharjinka: True.
evile: I know you'll have a great time at the reunion :)
evile: take a couple boffer swords, just in case :P
Sharjinka: I think I will. I do love everyone. It's just been a
while.
Sharjinka: Can't take them on the plane. Darn.
evile: really?? OMG< that's crazy!
Sharjinka: I've had to answer questions and such on the plane. It
delays and they usually call security.
evile: that's really crazy!!
Sharjinka: Yeah. The easiest thing to tell them is it's practice
fencing equipment for children.
evile: *nod*
Sharjinka: They accept that...
evile: yeah.
Sharjinka: :-)
evile: I am taking some little vacation here and there, but a whole
week would be so awesome, if my boss didn't freak out so easily about
stuff.
Sharjinka: I can understand. I'm going to be a bit worried about the
office while I'm gone.
evile: It'll be fine :)
evile: it's always still standing when you get back from digs & such.
this will be fine too.
Sharjinka: Yeah, true and it's always slow during the summer. :-)

evile: exactly. Same here, really.
Sharjinka: :-)
Sharjinka: Nearly got my uncle's belt done too. Needs a sheen and
belt holes punched in it.
evile: cool :) It's nice to get projects completed.
Sharjinka: True. :-)
evile: I should try that sometime. I have a giant box full of UFOs
Sharjinka: :-D
Sharjinka: I usually pick easy to do projects. Nothing complicated.
evile: *nod*
Sharjinka: I still have to do some work on it. I must punch the
holes and re-do some of the dye. It has to be sheened tomorrow or it
won't be ready in time!
evile: you'll get it done.

Sharjinka: I think I can have it finished. It won't take long at
all. Punching holes and dying it will take about a half hour. Then
I just have to wait and play with to make the leather softer.... :-D
evile: *nod*

Sharjinka: :-D

 

evile: hey :) how was your weekend?
SkyeDS: it went. Travis came over Saturday, so nothing productive
got done, but we did watch movies, the boys played a D&D boardgame
and we ate popcorn and watermelon. Sunday was Drandmir.
SkyeDS: I still want to go swimming/tubing (next weekend is out,
family reunion)
evile: *nod* sounds like a nice laid back time.
SkyeDS: how was da toobin?
evile: OK. Not great.
SkyeDS: Ron White's routine about toobin is funny (I think anyway)
evile: *shrug* I don't think I've heard it.
SkyeDS: I won't bother to try to recreate it, I'd just ruin it.
evile: OK.
SkyeDS: I don't recount jokes well :|
evile: me neither.
evile: The person I wanted to come tubing punked out, and a person I
really didn't want to see decided to brave the hangover and come out
anyway.
evile: Nobody likes being ditched, but being ditched + lied to isn't
really any better, IMHO.
SkyeDS: I really don't understand why people lie. I understand
wanting to keep ass out of sling, but lying always, always puts ass
into sling even further
SkyeDS: and I seldom use the word always.
evile: I am very very smart. and fairly intuitive. So...yeah, lying
does not work on me too terribly often.
SkyeDS: I'm not an advocate of telling everyone everything you know
all the time, mind you
evile: no.
SkyeDS: I do believe in the little courtesies that make civilized
discourse possible
evile: But a simple ditch "Hey, I'm not going" is far less hurtful
than "hey I'm not going [false reasons here]"
SkyeDS: certainly
SkyeDS: and if someone doesn't accept a simple "hey I'm not going"
and want to discuss "can't" v "won't" and "why" then they get what
they asked for
evile: I really dont' know what I'm doing wrong with my friendships.
People keep lying to me.
SkyeDS: don't ask questions you're not sure you want answers to
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: as an example, because it's the first thing that crossed my
mind
evile: And I am a curious thing, but I can (and DO) accept "I'm
sorry, I dont' want to discuss it with you" or "it's none of your
business"
SkyeDS: Spherion wanted sineater to go up north remember?
SkyeDS: and I told him, stick to the truth
SkyeDS: until you get the offer in writing and travel expenses up
front, the answer is no
evile: yup
SkyeDS: so here came the day that they had, without honoring that,
bought him plane tickets and expected him at the airport, and instead
of saying, I told you it wasn't going to work like that
SkyeDS: he told them he was in t he hospital with me because I'd
been hit
SkyeDS: so they call Hugh to find out if this is true
SkyeDS: and I walk in t he door one morning and Hugh's all like WTF?
SkyeDS: how do I explain to Hugh that sineater prefers to get himself out
of things with elaborate lies?
evile: not good.
SkyeDS: without making sineater look bad?
evile: sineater's behavior makes sineater look bad.
SkyeDS: yeah, well, I don't want sineater to look bad in front of Hugh.
What happens when I really am sick or really am in the hospital
because I got hit by a mack truck, and sineater has to tell Hugh.
evile: No need to editorialize, just say flat out "sineater lied to his
employer, I am so sorry it distressed you."
SkyeDS: boy who cried wolf and all that.
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: Hugh and sineater have enough in common that I don't *think* Hugh
will judge him.
SkyeDS: but anyway
SkyeDS: what tangled webs we do weave when first we practice to
deceive...or whatever that is exactly
evile: yup.
SkyeDS: besides, if you tell someone the truth, and they prove that
they can't handle it, then you have no further burden past that
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: "I can't/won't do (x)"
SkyeDS: why not?
SkyeDS: "because (insert reason here)"
SkyeDS: (insert big blowup here)
SkyeDS: last time I explain anything to you
SkyeDS: after that, I say can't/won't, and that's that.
evile: I very rarely ask why (at least I don't think I do). If
someone says "I'm sorry,I wont' be joining you at ___ after all." I
say "OK, see ya later"
evile: I figure if they want to explain, they can, but I don't feel
like I really tend to pry.
evile: sineater pretty much beat that out of me at an early age. :P
evile: (growing up with scorpios in the house in general, actually)
SkyeDS: I would laugh sympathetically but it's not really entirely
funny
SkyeDS: I'm sorry about the person who chose not to tell the truth,
but maybe the person with the hangover suffered great physical misery
all day :)
evile: I take things at face value, if someone just says 'yes'
or 'no' that's fine. Then when they start illuminating or
backpedaling or spouting falsehoods, that's when I get pissed off and
hurt. Nobody wants to hear "NO" but it happens and I accept it.
SkyeDS: nodnodnods
evile: Oh well. Time to cast my pearls before a different bunch of
swine, it appears.
SkyeDS: Dani lost her Pirate Queen for the midreign quest.
SkyeDS: I auditioned for the part yesterday. Apparently if I don't
do it, all the women of Drandmir have been gone through and exhausted
and Dani will have to go to another Kingdom to get help.
SkyeDS: So I was told to make the whole persona up on t he spot.
SkyeDS: I went with a blending of De Sade, Bathory, White Wolf
Lasombra and Toreador Anti Tribu
SkyeDS: spent some time with the writing blender today (and yes I
credited my sources :)
evile: wow.
SkyeDS: Bathory wasn't hard to adapt, just change her castle to a
pirate ship, and change her death to her escape by faking death (Tom
Sawyer and Huck Finn there, I guess)
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: anyway, I suspect I just put a whole lot more into this
nonplayer character than anyone expected or wanted, but oh well.
SkyeDS: that's what happens when you ask me to rp/write.
evile: heh. yeah.
SkyeDS: I hate feeling unoriginal, but then, there is no such thing
as a truly original plot, or character, they've all been done. many
times.
evile: yup. I noticed that while watching previews at the movie this
weekend.
SkyeDS: why do I keep hearing that Depp as Wonka looks like Michael
Jackson? :(
evile: heh. ti's the paleness & wierd hair, I think.
SkyeDS: with all the stuff I've ordered online from ebay and
elsewhere it's like christmas every day lately :)
evile: that's fun :)
SkyeDS: got my pretty purple silk dress Friday, wore it today, got my
horse supplies today - new bits, new saddle pieces, three times the
worming supplies for what I n ormally pay
SkyeDS: in another couple of weeks i should be receiving the three
tricktraining books, and the new matching purple fleece saddle pad,
breast collar and girthstrap (purple fleece, black nylon)
evile: :)
SkyeDS: I decided Mirage needed new colors with her new saddle
SkyeDS: all of Jesse's colors have always matched
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: the red was ok with the old saddle, but I think purple with
the new saddle.
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: then sineater can have the black fleece black nylon girth I
bought for Mirage before I bought a set that had a girth in it, and
he will get something new too (as well as the new bit)
SkyeDS: English full cheek snaffle training bits
SkyeDS: (as opposed to the o ring western training snaffles they're
in now - even though Jesse's is still fairly new, compared to
Mirage's)
evile: cool
SkyeDS: I haven't tried my saris out yet, and the salwar kameez(es)
are being custom made so I have no idea how long that will take
evile: yeah...waiting is always un-fun.
SkyeDS: the new pavilion is nicer than what we could have gotten at
Walmart or Academy, and $20 cheaper at least
SkyeDS: came missing two pieces, neither fatal, but I went ahead and
wrote to ask them to replace them anyway and they said they would
evile: that's good
SkyeDS: and I met the head of the fire troupe that will be at Ravens
Loft
evile: neat :)
SkyeDS: I've been racking my brain over what to do performance wise,
besides strolling bardic
SkyeDS: if I can use the covered arena I can do Dancing Horses, and
so then I'm thinking well
SkyeDS: I've seen dancing horses at liberty (especially popular, like
Cirque's Cavalia)
evile: that'd be cool.
SkyeDS: and dancing horses in hand (being ridden)
SkyeDS: and I'd like to do both, but I'm n ot sure how
SkyeDS: at liberty is prettiest when the horses have just headstall
and breast collar, not saddles
SkyeDS: but I'd have to already have them saddled if I'm also going
to do ballet in hand
SkyeDS: doesn't matter how many people I have helping me, it takes
time to get saddled particularly with barding.
evile: well...most performers at faire who do several shows a day
change up the show. So you could do the first show of the day one way
and then the next one the other way, if that makes sense.
SkyeDS: that's occurred to me too. I like it better now if you think
it's a good idea.
evile: and that encourages people to see the show again "Come back at
5:30 for our adult themed songs" or whatever.
SkyeDS: I also considered keeping one of them at liberty without
saddle, and keeping one saddled so I could combine both in one show
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: but that would keep me from doing a two horse ballet
evile: yup
SkyeDS: unless one of us was riding bareback
SkyeDS: which would probably be me
SkyeDS: but I could still do that, and have more than one show
evile: yup
SkyeDS: nobody's given me a schedule of performance times either
SkyeDS: so until someone does, I should be at liberty to do what I
please
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: found out yesterday that there's a covered arena they aren't
using for jousting with petting zoo pens right beside it.
SkyeDS: I said, well if that isn't custom made for what I"d like to
do...
SkyeDS: I was thinking that there would just be the jousting arena, a
long arena with the lists set up in the middle, and for my show,
since I'd need a smaller set up, I'd buy some of those flags (?) like
the car dealers have or whatever to create a period looking
square/ring
evile: that would be cool.
SkyeDS: but, this is a county fairground, they've just rented it for
two weekends, so they don't have the liberty of making a permanent
jousting arena
SkyeDS: they're jousting in a big open field with portable lists
SkyeDS: nothing for me to create a ring out of there with flags that
I"d have to go buy, BUT a covered arena nobody else is using that I
know of, and that's even better.
evile: sound like :)
SkyeDS: if I have a real arena, I can set up a hay bale for archery
against a backwall where there isn't gallery for audience/spectators,
and not worry about stray arrows
SkyeDS: that way I could use live tips and not blunts or boffers.
SkyeDS: although boffers are fun for shooting live targets, which is
always amusing :D
SkyeDS: brb phone
SkyeDS: bk, but slow
evile: Ok
evile: turns out onyxlynxx didn't want to go tubing withme Sunday because
Niki was goin to be there, and Niki and I are still at odds. Niki
tried to sic onyxlynxx on me at a party Saturday night, so onyxlynxx's really
uncomfortable being around both of us right now. God.damn.it.
evile: Niki ruffled my feathers and peeved me, which I will get over
if she will just STOP. But if she sows discord among our mutual
friends, she will be SERIOUSLY HURTING before much longer.
SkyeDS: :(
SkyeDS: I hate for there to be awkward between you and onyxlynxx
evile: me too. especially as it is completely NEEDLESS for there to
be awkwardness there.
evile: Other than some stupid little girl tyring to stir up shit in
inappropriate times and places.
SkyeDS: she didn't say anything else to me after I accepted her
apology, so maybe she does respect boundaries when they're set in
certain ways
SkyeDS: but you've already tried sitting her down and talking it all
out, I'm sure
evile: I mean, really, how DARE she...getting people upset and
putting them in the middle of something that isn't any of their
business, at someone else's housewarming party???
evile: thta's just completely rude, selfish, and inappropriate.
SkyeDS: <the queen of inappropriate has nothing to say on that score>
evile: oh, please, even YOU know better than that.
SkyeDS: well, it is true that if even I know better, I was raised in
a barn.
evile: :)
SkyeDS: what I did seemed to work for onyxlynxx, I was just wondering if
that tactic could be modified for your situation
evile: I just don't understand what I did that was so wrong.
evile: And I don't understand how someone can expect to lay a
smackdown on me, for what I don't understand, and then expect m e to
be all bubbly and cheery and happy to see them the next time we see
each other?
evile: I thought I was being nice, I thought I was being a good
friend, and she told me I was acting "shitty" to her. And that I was
thinking things I wasn't telling her and all this other bullshit.
SkyeDS: and she's taken all that to onyxlynxx?
evile: At someone's party, no less.
SkyeDS: would it work just to tell onyxlynxx the way you told me? and say
look, hands up, empty, white flag, peace? at least from my camp?
evile: I told onyxlynxx there's no reason for her to feel in the middle
of it, and that if she feels she has to choose I am not going to be
the asshole forcing that choice, I'll just walk away.
SkyeDS: <furrowed brow>
SkyeDS: I can't say that I know onyxlynxx as well as I'd like to
SkyeDS: and certainly not Maggie Mae Pisces because I just met Meg
the once
SkyeDS: but, they seem to love Niki well
evile: her natural urge is to making peace and trying to make sure
people understnad each other.
SkyeDS: and neither one of them strike me as unintelligent or
unobservant or unknowing about people's true natures, good and bad
SkyeDS: so I assume they've seen in her what I haven't
evile: But...it's not her fight. There was and IS no reason for her
to be in the middle of me and Niki and whatever bizarre
misunderstanding is taking place between us.
SkyeDS: and I also assume they know that she isn't a saint and has
her dark shadows like the rest of us
evile: exactly.
SkyeDS: there must be something that you can say to onyxlynxx to
illustrate that you agree about the peace thing and are trying,
unarmed truce, bla bla bla
evile: I don't know what onyxlynxx's doing in the middle, anyway. I told
her to butt out, that the party was not an appropriate time and place
for a discussion ANYWAY, and apparently now sh'es just not
comfortable around either of us.
SkyeDS: "can't we all just get along" just isn't always pragmatic,
practical or workable in real life
SkyeDS: theory always works in theory, but not always in practice
evile: *nod* Unlike Niki, I respect our mutual friends enough not to
put them in the middle of things. I hadn't said ANYTHING to anyone
about anything, and I wouldn't have. It was/is between me and her.
SkyeDS: we were probably a lot like that at her age...maybe...
evile: I have no idea.
SkyeDS: boss is growling, brb :(
SkyeDS: I'm probably going to be slow until he's gone again,
something else has upset him so now he's going to take it out on
everyone and everything else around him, including me (sigh)
evile: OK. *hugs* Sorry that's happening. Lots of bad communication
in the air lately.
SkyeDS: let him be that way. worst he can do is fire me. he'll have
to give me 30 days notice, which gives me plenty of time to find
something that pays more.
evile: *nod* that's a good way to look at it on the bad days.
SkyeDS: and he isn't going to find anyone to do what I do for what he
pays me, so he hurts me worse than he hurts himself
evile: heh. true!
SkyeDS: anyway, just so you know why I am occasionally even slower
than usual
evile: Ok. No biggie, I know your'e at work.
SkyeDS: yes, but right now is a bad time for me to be slow in
responding
evile: nah. you're fine.
evile: I just need to quit feeling sorry for myself and live my
fuckin' life.
evile: And learn that I can not, ever, give my heart to a woman.
evile: Women are OK to hang out with, but they aren't to be loved or
trusted. And that's fine, because it's got to be. because I've got to
stop throwing my love and my efforts down endless black holes.
SkyeDS: it is hard to have wasted one's resources. maybe love is a
harder resource to have wasted than money, time, etc
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: and you, much more than me, are so not a wasteful person with
any of your resources.
evile: there are no women, there is no woman, who is going to share
my life and my interests and my love in the way I want her to.
So...thats' that.
evile: And I have to stop trying, because every time I do, it ends up
being thrown back in my face with much venom and hurt. And I must be
doing something to make that keep happening...so arm's lenght, all
of 'em.
evile: I know how to be courteous and smile and nod. I just have to
stop wanting anything more and deeper, because it just fuckin' hurts.
SkyeDS: there are a lot of awesome, beautiful, brilliant, witty,
vibrant and charming women surrounding you as Sisters, and they seem
to me to give you the best they've got to give. I envy that.
evile: I guess the kind of female friendship I want, a) doens't exist
b) hasn't been given to the right person [come ON< all of them??!@?
Even a broken clock is right twice a day!] or c) I don't deserve it.
evile: So I guess for the sake of my own wellb-eing I am going to
decide it doesn't exist.
SkyeDS: I still wistfully envy what is given to you that does exist.
It's more than some of us ever see.
SkyeDS: I'm not ever likely to hold the place that you do in the
affections of women like Jenn, Julie, JLaw or DeeDee
evile: *nod* I know I have a lot of blessings, and I take a lot of
good things in my life completely for granted...which just makes me
feel shittier about myself.
SkyeDS: Goddess didn't create no crap. And that includes you :P
evile: thanks. :)
SkyeDS: I think you need more birthday spankins from Jenn
SkyeDS: <ducks and runs>
evile: heh.
evile: I think you just want to *watch* someone get more spankings
from Jenni.
SkyeDS: I don't know that just anybody would have been as
entertaining :P
evile: she's a pretty good domme.
SkyeDS: and yes, I am a completely unabashed, unashamed voyeur :P
evile: Too bad you're going to be out of town this weekend, it's a
GWNN party weekend :)
SkyeDS: remember when I told you about the lawyer on the phone from
NOLA that got evacuated?
SkyeDS: I vaguely remembered Mom saying she and Dad were in NOLA
(where Stuart lives now) with the kids
SkyeDS: they went to Georgia to get the kids and had to go to court
because the wench wouldn't hand them over
SkyeDS: and I thought, you know, maybe I should call the cell (only #
I've got besides home) and see if they got out okay
SkyeDS: but then I thought, no, SURELY they had the sense to leave,
right?
SkyeDS: so Saturday, Gramma calls and says, they've been in NOLA for
two days without electricity and NOW they're leaving.
evile: jeez.
evile: hpefully they were at a really cool hurricane party in the
meantime.
SkyeDS: the three grandchildren are all under the age of 6
evile: oh joy.
SkyeDS: so t hen gramma tells me, they'll keep the kids till Monday
or whenever its safe to take them back
SkyeDS: and then the kids will come back this coming weekend with
Stuart for the reunion
evile: that's a hell of a lot of driving. esp. through bad weather!
SkyeDS: so, could I just drop everything I was doing Saturday and run
to Texarkana right then and there
SkyeDS: and I said, um, no sorry
SkyeDS: especially not since we went to Tyler last week and were
planning to be there this coming weekend
evile: OMG! that's so out of line!
SkyeDS: I know what she was getting at
SkyeDS: she wanted me to have a chance of seeing the kids without
stuart attached
evile: *nod* but still.. you already had plans & commitments.
SkyeDS: and that's nice of her to think of, but I still can't just go
to txka at the drop of a hat like that
SkyeDS: had someone said something about it on Friday night, then I
could have gotten up early Saturday morning and left. Assuming
someone helped me with the gas expenses. AND found a place to keep t
he horses, because no, I can't find a sitter for them on less than 24
hours notice
evile: yeah.
SkyeDS: the family seems to think that I can just use sonar0m for that
purpose.
SkyeDS: and I could, but I'm not going to.
SkyeDS: and I'm still not real happy with the stud colt next door
who still isn't cut.
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: anyway, I can't believe they stayed there for 2 days with no
electric before they evacuated <rolls eyes>
evile: I'm sure they had their reasons.
SkyeDS: Stuart got laid off from his law office after the bankrupty
laws just recently got overhauled, so now he's selling cars.
evile: wow.
SkyeDS: and they wouldn't let him off work, hurricane or no
hurricane, three small children or no
SkyeDS: I told Mom I"m sorry that he got laid off, however, the
bankrupty laws did need overhauling
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: people like Trump were declaring faster than they change
their underwear
SkyeDS: and Mom says he's good at selling cars and it makes him happy
(he's done it for all of a week now.)
SkyeDS: so, after he broke her heart so many times that eventually
she told him no more, here we are back at square one, golden boy child
evile: some personality types are really suited for sales...if it
makes him happy and he's good at it, who are we to judge.
SkyeDS: all because of "the chirren"
evile: it took uncle bubba more than 40 years to grow up. Some people
are just like that.
SkyeDS: I do feel sorry for his children, and somebody needs to raise
them because God/dess knows he, his new live in lover that Mom just
adores, and his insane ex, aren't going to do it
evile: *nod* it's always sadder when kids are involved in
dysfunctional situations.
evile: they dont' have the choice to walk if it's unhealthy for them.
SkyeDS: I can't believe Mom hasn't read him the riot act about living
in sin in front of his kids
SkyeDS: but then again, I can believe it too. She can't afford to
alienate him, and I know in her mind it isn't bad when the golden
child does it, just when the rest of us do it.
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: and I can observe all of this, and honestly say, I know
that's the way it is, I'm pretty sure that's why it's the way it is,
and at least it doesn't hurt me anymore, I've learned not to let
that influence my relationship with my mother, which shouldn't have
anything to do with him.
SkyeDS: I can always tell when she's spent large amounts of money on
him because she always shows up shortly thereafter for a work weekend
to put hours of labor into the ranch when I try to get them to just
let me treat them as guests, and to spend huge amounts of money that
I would rather she not
SkyeDS: I'm always happy to see them of course but I wish they'd not
work all weekend long and spend time visiting and doing pleasant
things instead
evile: that's really too bad. I hate it when people act from guilt
SkyeDS: is the way she's made, and I accept that, as I accept the law
of gravity, which means nothing, for good or for ill, but just is.
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: I would just rather take them out unique and tasty places to
eat, sit them down to see movies they wouldn't otherwise see, and for
Daddy to spend his time fishin, not workin
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: I really do worry when they insist on spending the hottest
hours of the day out mowing and such. Especially when I'm at work
and can't help or be there should something bad happen - like heat
stroke
evile: yeah...
SkyeDS: anyway, next weekend should be a good test of my resolutions
for myself. that's one way to look at it anyway - and better than
the way I would otherwise be inclined to look at it.
SkyeDS: but whatever else happens, sineater and sonar0m have been
instructed that under no circumstances is Gramma allowed to wake me
up between 5:30 and 6:30 on Sunday morning.
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: Daddy says I exaggerate about Gramma, but I know damn good
and well he knows I'm not, because he goes out of his way to avoid
going over there himself, LOL
evile: heh. Yeah.
SkyeDS: you could take bellydancing from Z Helene and from Drakon and
then you could have your own solo act with us and be the only dancer
out there with an Egyptian horse too
evile: heh. no thanks. I am a big fat klutz, I would prefer not to
have an audience for it.
SkyeDS: klutz maybe, fat no. why I don't do it, I'm more belly than
dancer atm.
evile: *shrug* let's just say it's out of my comfort zone, and leave
it at that, then.
SkyeDS: I figured you'd say that, but it's a nice idea anyway :P
evile: OK, nice fantasy, but best left there.
SkyeDS: I don't think Jubilee has ever seen a real bellydancing
show. I know she was eager to go to the hafla at War but never made
it. She asked if the boys could accomplish what we needed with just
two bodhrans and a tamborine
SkyeDS: I gently said, um, no dear, we need at least one dumbek and
someone who's better with a drum than any one of us...
evile: You should bring her out to the show next month at casa de luz.
evile: Rick teaches drumming once a month, too. That'd be fun, if you
were of a mind to learn some bellydancing rhythms.
SkyeDS: if it's on a Friday that might could be managed
SkyeDS: assuming it's not on a Raven's Loft Friday
evile: yup. Friday the 5th of August.
SkyeDS: might give me a chance to ask the dancers what CDs they like
too, hm.
evile: I'm pretty sure next month's is all live music so they might
not be bringing any of their own music, but I'm sure they'd be
willing to chat during the intermission.
SkyeDS: I would so love to have live music eventually
SkyeDS: and I don't even know why I'm investing so much in this, it
isn't like I want to do it for a living, I just want to go to faires
for free and take my children
SkyeDS: it's almost turning into what happened when I started selling
Arthur feathers at CMA
SkyeDS: it started out as, I have more feathers than I'll ever use
for craft purposes, and I have an unlimited supply of more, I'll just
start selling them loose
SkyeDS: which turned into trips to the leather store and the hobby
stores and oh, this is pretty, and that and the other thing, and I
don't know what I"ll do with all this stuff but I"ll figure it out
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: so loose feathers turned into sineater teaching me to work
leather and wire and beads and such
SkyeDS: and then someone wanted my craftwork but with different
colored feathers, so it turned into buying the molt feathers from my
friends' birds
SkyeDS: and sineater at one point said, but I thought the po int of all
this originally was to just get rid of Arthur's excess molt feathers?
ROFL
evile: Yeah....
evile: it's easy to let an idea get out of hand.
SkyeDS: while digging out the stash of raw material to discuss what
could be made from it, Jubilee discovered all of my old crafty stuff,
so plans have now expanded
SkyeDS: I offered just to pay her outright for sewing with my raw
materials but she said she'd rather me pay her by buying her a
readymade outfit from Snookie's. My guess is that if I just gave her
the money she wouldn't end up saving it away to get something from
Snookie's she'd spend it on practical stuff for school (Baylor).
evile: *nod*
evile: what is a 'Snookie's'?
SkyeDS: an ebay custom garb store that has what we both thought were
very reasonable prices and craftmanship
SkyeDS: I want to get the boys outfits from there too
evile: cool :)
SkyeDS: http://stores.ebay.com/SNOOKIES-FAUX-
ORIGINALS_W0QQssPageNameZstrkQ3amefsQ3amesstQQtZkm
SkyeDS: I particularly like their purple witch's garb and their men's
pirate/gypsy set, especially the chemise
SkyeDS: and the chemise particularly on the women's gypsy set
evile: cool :)
SkyeDS: http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?
ViewItem&category=4156&item=8316049580
evile: I like the bodice.
SkyeDS: http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?
ViewItem&category=4156&item=8317495659
SkyeDS: the men's chemise on just the plain pirate garb is not the
same as on the pirate/gypsy set, which I'm not seeing anymore :|
SkyeDS: it had very nice beading on the arms
evile: Oh well, I'm sure you can contact the seller and see what's
available, or just watch the site and see if it comes up again.
SkyeDS: when I have the money I'll just email and ask if it's
possible to still have those patterns made nodnod
evile: that is a very good price for everything they come with.
SkyeDS: I thought so, and more importantly Jubi thought so, who knows
more about it than I do.
SkyeDS: I'm not very bright about a whole lot of stuff but I am
bright enough to seek out people who are
evile: *nod* that's an important skill.
evile: April is such a sweetheart.
SkyeDS: April = Ample I completely wholeheartedly agree
evile: *nod*
evile: things didn't go exactly as planned yesterday, everyone was
running late, and bla bla, but she just let it roll off her back &
enjoyed the day.
evile: I definitely need to spend more time with people who are like
that.
SkyeDS: I definitely need to BE more like that
evile: me too. Hoping that if I have more friends like that, I can
learn from their example.
SkyeDS: although all this eventing is getting me there the hard way
if necessary. now pretty much we get there when we get there
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: I hope she plans to do more toobin this summer, I want to
make an effort to go, just once even
evile: *nod* it would be nice to spend more time with her, and maybe
even entice her grumpy homebody hubby out too :)
SkyeDS: we were SO late yesterday. Like three hours. And I decided
fuck it, I'm wearing my swimsuit and my jeans.
SkyeDS: and the world didn't end.
evile: *nod*
evile: being late doesn't have to ruin your day, but being upset
about being late certainly can.
SkyeDS: zactly
SkyeDS: and that's what cell phones are for. I called Dani, told
her, I"ll be there, I'm late, I'm sorry, and then I completely blew
it off, and got there when I got there.
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: and when I got there I had to wait for a good long while for
her to have time to do what she said she needed to anyway
evile: so everything worked out for the best, really.
evile: time for me to git. *hugs* have a good evening. Thanks for
putting up w/me today :P

 

Sharjinka: Hello!

evile: hey :)
Sharjinka: I was going to ask you the screening comments question.
evile: it's the first time I've ever used it...I'm afraid to reply
because I don't want to unscreen stuff
Sharjinka: I've noticed it unscreens immediately but you can back and
re-screen them. I have been answering them.....
Sharjinka: Are you able to see the answers I gave you?
evile: so you're way ahead of me on that, then :)
evile: Yup.
Sharjinka: Great. *sigh of relief*
Sharjinka: You just check them and at the bottom put them
on "screen." It's pretty easy but I wasn't sure if it was working!
evile: they emailed to me, actually. I can't read anything in the LJ
other than my comment.
Sharjinka: Weird. That's not mentioned anywhere....
evile: geek documentation is often spotty, things "ought to be
obvious"
Sharjinka: I know. I tend to not get it. I'm a book geek, not a
computer geek.
evile: *nod* me too.
Sharjinka: I thought I really got it too! Darn....
Sharjinka: Did you read skye_ds' IC post??
evile: no..where is it?
Sharjinka: Uhm....let me check real fast....
Sharjinka: www.hfscr.org
Sharjinka: Under in character....
Sharjinka: Under Leaving Greenvalle....
evile: geez, could she be any more self-aggrandizing? what.ever.
Sharjinka: This is the second or third post where she's done this. ;-
)
evile: is it the same wording? it looks very familiar.
Sharjinka: Yes, it is almost the same.
evile: I think that's a holdover from her time on IRC. They have
these things when they enter rooms that announce to the room "so and
so enters the room; she is a striking beauty of bla bla bla bla bla "
EVERY time they go in. Some even have exit scripts.
Sharjinka: I've seen and read those on bash.org.
Sharjinka: Very silly! :-D
evile: yup. So I think that's where she gets that from.
Sharjinka: She does that everytime on IRC???
evile: Well, I never went on IRC, but I'm betting she did. It's not
like you have to type it out, it's automatic.
Sharjinka: Oh, okay. :-)
evile: I'm sorry, but telling everyone how interesting you are is NOT
the same as actually BEING interesting.
Sharjinka: I agree. ;-)
evile: I've only seen, like, 3 IC posts of hers. I didn't really pay
much attention.
Sharjinka: I've already responded to it and I've tried to re-direct
the ego trip to RP. ;-)
evile: smart move ;)
Sharjinka: I really do try to encourage RP but some people are more
difficult to RP with than others....
evile: yeah. Plus I don't think she really percieves the difference
between RL and play.
Sharjinka: Yep. I have to confess I do love "Shokie mode" but she is
just a character. ;-)
evile: heh.
Sharjinka: I play her as an evil, bisexual vixen. ;-) Love it!
evile: woohoo :) she'd fit right in at GWNN.
Sharjinka: The informal court was so funny. I scared darienspider's new
significant other... It was wonderful.
evile: heh.
Sharjinka: I flirted with her horribly and invited her back to my
place to sample some fantastic, relaxing teas... Poor girl....
(Everyone was laughing....)
evile: *LOL* that's cool.
Sharjinka: I have to admit, I'm new to flirting with women....
evile: it's mostly the same as flirting with guys :P
Sharjinka: I kept it mostly the same. But I don't flirt with guys
much in all honesty.
Sharjinka: You either hit them over the head or you don't do anything.
evile: flirting is fun :)
Sharjinka: I agree.
Sharjinka: I'm just not very good at it....
evile: practice makes perfect :)
Sharjinka: I used to flirt all the time. I didn't care if I was good
or not but women started to accuse me of stealing their husbands, I
stopped.
evile: *sigh* I hate that.

3338Re: icq w/Sharjinka

 

evile: that was wierd, my icq just died!
Sharjinka: That is a bit strange.
evile: oh well...I guess we'll see how long it lasts this time.
Sharjinka: Mine used to crash all the time. The computer before this
one sucked!
evile: htey were doing some updates to the mainframe earlier
Sharjinka: Probably had something to do with it.
evile: I still have almost 2hours to go here, we have no work and my
launchcast doesn't work. AGH.
Sharjinka: Mine doesn't work either. Whah.
Sharjinka: I'm leaving early....
evile: lucky!!
Sharjinka: I got here at 6:30am....
evile: ack! too early!!!
Sharjinka: I didn't mean to. I had to run some errands and I was
worried I'd be late.
evile: yeah. I guess early is better than late!
Sharjinka: I didn't think I'd get to work that early. *sigh* I'm
tired.
evile: I bet!
Sharjinka: :-D
evile: I've emailed yahoo customer service twice now...I wish they'd
get back to me. They usually do.
Sharjinka: Whah. I miss my 80s radio....
evile: me too...my coworkers are chit chatting and it's making me
crazy.
Sharjinka: It's pretty quiet here. (thank goodness)
evile: lucky
Sharjinka: Yep. And less than an hour left. AND we got flat screen
monitors today. Whee! :-D
evile: awesome!
Sharjinka: Yep, they're great. Reading the screen is so much easier
now.
evile: I have one at home ,but it's little. My stepdad gave it to me.
Sharjinka: They're letting me take my old monitor home. (I've got to
sign it out.) I don't know but it might be a little better than the
one I have at home now.
evile: more WoW fun :P
Sharjinka: I'm such an addict. Worse than crack.
evile: so I hear. I stay far far away!
Sharjinka: That's even what I had in mind when I asked if I could
have the old monitor.
Sharjinka: I don't blame you. You see sunlight! ;-)
evile: eh. it's overrated.
Sharjinka: At least, the computers are in the sunroom. ;-)
evile: yeah, so you won't die of Vitamin D deficiency.
Sharjinka: No....skin cancer maybe.... ;-)
Sharjinka: And when the sun's setting the glare is too bad to
play. ;-)
evile: Nice time to take the dog for a wlak..
Sharjinka: I can't believe I got the Antichrist... True about the
dog walking. :-D
evile: I would have preffered the antichrist. But cain is OK. I do
have brother or two that needs killin
Sharjinka: I'm the bane to mankind. Whah. :-/
evile: good on ya!
evile: I hate people! BANE THEM!!!
Sharjinka: :-P
Sharjinka: *DRINK* *THUMBS UP*
Sharjinka: Dark side has beer and pizza.....
evile: and dark chocolate m&Ms.
Sharjinka: Yum!!!
evile: I love those. I hope they still make them after the star wars
hype dies down.
Sharjinka: They are awesome. Come to the dark side. It'll be a
hoot! :-D
evile: *grinz* If I get to have my wicked way with Darth Maul, I'm
THERE dude.
Sharjinka: Get in line! :-D
evile: *lol* I know.
Sharjinka: He's so hot and such an intense stare!!
evile: yup. Too bad he's short.
Sharjinka: I don't mind. Horizontally, it may not matter much...
evile: this is true.
Sharjinka: ;-)
evile: *sigh* I'm at work, not a good place to be having wicked
thoughts.
Sharjinka: They're just thoughts. I have them all the time. ;-)
evile: me too.
Sharjinka:
http://image.pathfinder.com/time/magazine/starwars/darth/maul.jpg
evile: yum yum :)
Sharjinka: http://www.volny.cz/thematrix/darthmaul/
evile: oh, my gosh! That's awesome!
Sharjinka: I just found it. :-)

Sharjinka: I'm leaving for the day! ;-) Bye...

 

evile: *sigh* phone duty gave me a headache!
SkyeDS: I sorry :(
evile: my last caller was a guy who stuttered and didn't speak
english too well, on top of that. Finally, thank goodness, he got his
sister on the line to help!
evile: On the good side, it means I get to leave work early :)
SkyeDS: nods. early is always good. I came in early yesterday and
got to leave early.
evile: that's a fine thing, esp iwth the longer days :)
SkyeDS: I think those of us who have insecurity problems with
exclusion (I'm still reading LJ) applied Ruiz #2 we might be able to
handle our own shit better.
evile: *nod* probably :)
SkyeDS: I know I have no idea where all of the posts started because
I probably wasn't there
evile: Mostly just comments in passing, different exchanges with
different people that finally just popped something in my head this
morning.
SkyeDS: it popped into roninjedi and kulilinei's head before yours
apparently
evile: Kind of wierd to get on that wavelength w/people.
SkyeDS: that happens all the time between a number of my friends and
me, so it didn't occur to me that that is weird
evile: *shrug* Maybe it's not.
SkyeDS: I can't imagine what the ego would have to be like not to be
hurt by exclusion, particularly exclusion by those you respect,
admire, love, whatever
SkyeDS: I have no doubt that such egos are out there, I just can't
get my head around it
evile: yeah...
evile: I like ladydreamtime's link. It is pretty awesome, and kind of funny,
too.
SkyeDS: nods.
SkyeDS: I copied that site into my LJ and memoried it
SkyeDS: found an ebay store with gazebo/pavilions I like
evile: awesome :)
SkyeDS: and will make sineater and sonar0m happier than that 200$ pavilion
with wrought iron that I like at Home Depot
evile: that's good!
SkyeDS: I still love that one though - arrow valley
SkyeDS: it's on the home depot website
SkyeDS: if you've been out in their H&G, you've probably seen it
evile: Yup, I remember really liking this year's patio furniture
SkyeDS: maybe a worthwhile investment before War next year, and use
your method of attaching canvas walls with pins
SkyeDS: for camping privacy
evile: yeah, if you're going to be set up for a week, might be good
to have something durable.
SkyeDS: I just had a thought
SkyeDS: (OMG hold the presses!)
SkyeDS: the tent frame is iron
SkyeDS: probably could support curtain rods on the inside, and I
could hang canvas from them like curtains, open during the day,
closed at night
SkyeDS: or for changing
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: they say egyptian cotton makes nice tent material too
SkyeDS: I could make curtains out of egyptian cotton sheets
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: omg two sets of memories in one day
SkyeDS: erinlefey's next 10 commandments
evile: saw that, very sweet :)
SkyeDS: I've been winning friends and influencing people again
SkyeDS: (/sarcasm)
evile: oh dear.
SkyeDS: keject has the same problem with his mom that sonar0m had with
his
SkyeDS: and so I'm helping keject deal with it successfully, as I did
with sonar0m
SkyeDS: his mom doesn't know that
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: she met me and liked me jsut fine
SkyeDS: until it occurred to her to ask him why sonar0m was always
with sineater & me (which isn't even true, he's just with us half a week
at a time)
SkyeDS: so keject, who doesn't have a duplicitous bone in his body,
told her
evile: oops.
SkyeDS: and good upright divorced dysfunctional parent that she is,
she freaked
SkyeDS: I meant to add Christian in there too
SkyeDS: she's fixing to ditch her best friend in the world because
that friend is leaving Xianity for Buddhism
SkyeDS: Jubilee's dad has always thought that HFS was a cult
SkyeDS: she moved out of the house to go back to the dorm took all
her stuff and he called the cops and said that the HFS had kidnapped
her
SkyeDS: Randy's parents think SCA is a cult and get mad at him for
taking his kids
SkyeDS: but anyway
evile: wow...that's crazy.
SkyeDS: so he was grilling her about me and what my intentions
toward her were, and now he's convinced that I'm trying to convert
her into paganism and poly-ism so I can get into her patns
SkyeDS: then wanted all my personal contact information
evile: hm.
SkyeDS: I told her well, I would assume you gave that to him in
January before you came to stay with me
SkyeDS: which would have been the logical thing to do
SkyeDS: but know this
SkyeDS: after what kaleon's mother pulled, calling the OK state
police, the TX DPS and the Travis County Sheriff on me
SkyeDS: the Sheriff showed up at the house, leaning hard on sineater to
search the house and dig up the yard
SkyeDS: he told them my wife is a paralegal and if I let you do that
without a search warrant I'd willingly give her my balls for breakfast
evile: oh dear.
SkyeDS: and the DPS was following me all the way home from Scarby
SkyeDS: I got pretty mad about that
SkyeDS: it happens again, well, I can't make any promises as to how
I'm going to react.
evile: was that before or after you pulled the sword on the guy in
Cracker barrel?
SkyeDS: before
SkyeDS: I think
evile: hm.
SkyeDS: that was when kaleon and I went to Scarby for my birthday
SkyeDS: he told his mom when I was going to drop him at his Aunt's in
Belton on my way home. There was some misunderstanding as to time,
so when he didn't show up when SHE expected him to, she called in
three different police forces and told them I kidnapped him
SkyeDS: never mind that he's not a minor so it wouldn't have been
kidnapping
SkyeDS: and that an adult has to be missing for a much longer period
of time before they call search
evile: jeez. I hope the law enforcement got after her for wasting
their manpower.
SkyeDS: all she had to do is tell them I was a swinger and a witch to
get them to call bloodhunt on me
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: I find no shame in being "in the closet" or less than open
with people who to quote jack nicholson "can't handle the truth"
evile: she sounds like a real nutjob.
SkyeDS: the white trash next door who are also revival preachers
don't know I'm a witch because I feel it to be a matter of life and
limb
SkyeDS: but where my triad marriage is concerned, I can see both
sides of the "how open are you" issue
SkyeDS: I'm not ashamed, and I"m not going to act like I am
evile: yup
SkyeDS: I don't do public displays of affection in general, and I
don't let sonar0m do in public even so much as sineater does because I
don't want others to be uncomfortable
SkyeDS: which arguably isn't fair to sonar0m but he understands
SkyeDS: but since it's already public knowledge that I have a triad
marriage, there's no point in trying to control who tells who what
about it
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: heaven forbid that I be contagious to young ADULTS and spread
paganism or polyfidelity to them
SkyeDS: and what they don't realize IS contagious where I'm concerned
is that I do encourage independence in them, and honor, and other
strengths that I personally value
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: maybe one of these days if kaleon ever gets the venom out of
his system he'll realize that good things came out of our
relationship that will last his entire life
SkyeDS: his relationship with his parents is better and will always
be better because of me
evile: hope so.
SkyeDS: freaking the mundanes....lol, freaking the mundane parents,
even better.
evile: *shrug*
SkyeDS: that's good folks, keep overreacting and eventually your
adult kids won't tell you squat.
evile: yup. I guess everyone's got to learn that the hard way.
SkyeDS: I already felt sorry for keject and Jubi with regard to their
parental situations. I feel sorry that they should bear the brunt of
their parents narrowmindedness and blinders. But personally, as long
as I don't get the police called on me again, find the overreactions
pretty damn funny. Bad me, I guess.
evile: eh. Humor is always a good shield. gotta laugh or you'd cry
sometimes.
SkyeDS: anno domini 200x in the US, we're still burning books (Harry
Potter)
SkyeDS: poor Ray Bradbury (Fahrenheit 451)
SkyeDS: and I can just see Rowling laughing with her royalties for
the burned books all the way to the bank
evile: yeah..i'm sure it doesn't matter to the authors/publishers
what you do with 'em as long as you buy 'em.
SkyeDS: anymore than it matters to the french if we buy wine just to
pour it out
SkyeDS: I wonder how much longer we're going to be the greatest
nation in the world at this rate
evile: I give it 15-25 years.
SkyeDS: that's within our lifetime. that sucks.
SkyeDS: Jubilee thinks we're in the biblical end of days, I tend to
agree, and I say that sucks too.
SkyeDS: I don't want to live to see the collapse of my nation, much
less the collapse of the entire world, couldn't they just like, wait
till I'm gone?
evile: *shrug* I have a really cool book of ancient near eastern
texts...10000 BC Babylon, people writing about the newfangled gadgets
and kids being disrespectful and the world is going to hell in a
handbasket. Pretty much the same.
SkyeDS: 2012 is an interesting year no?
SkyeDS: Benedict said he expects to be a transitional pope for 7 or 8
years, 2012 would be 7
SkyeDS: that's the end of the current Mayan (I think?) cycle
SkyeDS: and is an election year, so we'll have one coming and one
going
evile: yup. the world is ending on my 42nd bday.
SkyeDS: so it might be likely that someone prominent will
deliberately imminentize the eschaton
evile: you should read omegabaphomet's LJ.
evile: he was one of the Nude Yoga regulars, way back when.
evile: My TIM buddies are so goofy. I love those guys.
SkyeDS: :)
evile: they are not the ones to call on when you have serious stuff
going on...except maybe 1 on 1. *sigh* geek boys' pack behavior....I
could write a book.
evile: well, I've got to return a call to one of my
lunchtime 'buddies' so I will sign off now. See ya later :)

 

evile: hey :) I was so glad to read that ArgonEric and Kirby had such a
nice time...but now they are second guessing and worrying. I want to
smack them both! :P
Sharjinka: I know what you mean. Three hours! That's really good.
I can't imagine talking to anyone for three hours over dinner.
Sharjinka: I think that's a really good sign.
evile: I know! Me too. I just told them both to keep communicating,
and not to assume the worst right off the bat!
Sharjinka: I saw that. I did the same in an e-mail to ArgonEric. He's so
worried and he really LIKES her. It's like watching school kids
date. ;-)
evile: I know. They've both been hurt, and they act from past
experience rather than what's going on right now...I hope they'll
work through it and keep communicating.
Sharjinka: I do too.
evile: I love my friends; they all deserve to be loved and happy.
Sharjinka: I AGREE!!
Sharjinka: Andrea isn't talking to me. It's been kind of nice. ;-)
evile: Awesome :)
Sharjinka: :-D
evile: I had a really great talk with my stepdad on the way from the
airport; it really strengthened my resolve not to give any more of my
energy to those types of people in life.
Sharjinka: I know what you mean.
Sharjinka: I've noticed some of the kids don't talk to me anymore and
that does make me sad. I don't want to be nasty but I have to wonder
if she said anything to them.
evile: You are better than that. Keep being your sterling self and
eventually the shine will wear off the other and they'll realize that
the base metal underneath isn't worth it...know what I mean?
Sharjinka: Yes. It's happened before. I'm here if they have
questions or want someone to listen. (Chris is still the same, but
Jubilee was staring at me like I was some odd alien creature this
weekend.)
evile: Jubilee is very (insanely) protective of Andrea, for whatever
reasons.
Sharjinka: Insane is a good choice of words.... *TIRED*
evile: she threatened to "lynch" my friend Niki.
Sharjinka: I saw that. I thought she went overboard....
evile: Me too. Her first reply was fine, and if it had been left
there, it would have been fine. but the response to Niki's apology
was obscene.
Sharjinka: I thought so too. Rubbing someone's face in like that.
That was just uncalled for.
evile: You know...when someone says something to you, you're entitled
to be mad, or even think of terrible things to do to them, but you
are NOT entitled to sic your friends on them, or create a situation
where one group of friends fights another. It should be between Niki
an Andrea,and Andrea is trying ot turn it into 'my friends vs your
friends'
evile: Oh well. No more energy to that situation. I have a good life,
good friends, good job, wonderful sweetie, great house, health, love,
happiness....and thats where my focus should be.
Sharjinka: I couldn't believe that myself. *sigh* I agree. We both
have the good life. :-)
evile: I'm so proud of Niki for staying above the fray. She and I
talked it through and she understands the tactics being used and
agrees not to give it any more of her energy. I know it hurt her,
especially to be called names by sineater, but there is not any way to
salvage the situation, so best to walk away.
Sharjinka: I thought it was very mature of her too. I was angry at
sineater for a while, I admit that.
Sharjinka: I wanted to write something but I was afraid it was just
add to the fire....
Sharjinka: I never apologized to Patrick online because I knew he
would rub my nose in it. I offered to talk to him in person two or
three times and he turned me down.
evile: A very wise man once said "With a Self Righteous Skank, you'd
have better chance of driving a
rubber nail into a two-by-four than pounding into their thick skulls
that something is wrong,and that *they're not being persecuted
because they're mystically noble, they're being harangued because
their behavior is appalling."
Sharjinka: What a wise man! ;-)

evile: yup.
Sharjinka: On a much lighter and happier note, JG and I were talking
about seeing Batman Begins on Thursday or Friday. Would you be
interested in joining us?
Sharjinka: We need to move away from the WoW addiction!

evile: eeps....maybe Thursday. I was thinking of going to Fajita
night Thursday evening, but didn't have any solid plans yet. Isn't
Steve's party Friday?
Sharjinka: Yeah....we were thinking an earlier show.....
Sharjinka: We can try for Thursday though.
evile: Oh, well, we could go to the movie and then Steve's party, if
we could get to the theatre early enough. It's your idea, do what you
prefer to do :)
Sharjinka: I'll probably send out an announcement to the Drandmir
list when we get it sorted out.
evile: *nod* cool.
Sharjinka: :-) Poor Pip. I need to go by the vet for him. He has
dandruff!!! ;-)
evile: oh, poor doggie!
Sharjinka: I'm kind of relieved. I thought he had fleas but it turns
out to just be slightly uncomfortable doggie dandruff. That's why
I'm reading the Greyhounds for Dummies book. It had recommendations
on what to do. Vets have a special shampoo / conditioner mix for
it. I just need to pick it up.
Sharjinka: It should clear up in three to six weeks. :-D
evile: sounds like fun!
Sharjinka: It's not bad at all. It's not all over the house or
anything. Jonathan noticed it at the park on Sunday.
Sharjinka: I also have some questions on how to bathe a big dog. We
always had little dogs and I'm not sure how it works with big dogs.
Sharjinka: Do you bathe them outside or do you put them in the tub or
what??
evile: depends on the dog, I think.
Sharjinka: I've already noticed he doesn't like water. The dummy
pee'd on his front leg and I got the hose out before I let him in the
house and he didn't like it.
evile: then probably outside, with his leash tied to something.
otherwise he'll be jumping out of the tub and making a giant mess in
the house shaking off water everywhere.
Sharjinka: Okay. :-) I think I know how I'm going to do this. At
least, it's hot outside. I don't have to worry about him catching
cold.
Sharjinka: Book suggests the tub because of the outdoor
temperatures. They don't have body fat and don't handle extreme
temperatures well. This is going to be a wrestling match.... ;-)
evile: yup. I used to wash our golden retriever in the tub, but she
got arthritis and it got too hard for her to get in and out of the
tub. So then we went to the backyard. and then I had to keep her from
running off to her favorite patch of dirt while she was still wet!
Sharjinka: Wheee!!!!!
evile: I always wore my swimsuit when washing the dog. just easier
that way.
Sharjinka: I think I'll do that too.....
Sharjinka: I have a feeling I'm going to get wet.....
evile: yup!
Sharjinka: Oh, well.
evile: welcome to dog ownership :P
Sharjinka: YAY..... wow....
evile: I know...it's a lot of responsibility & work, too.
Sharjinka: I know. I'm glad I was a bit prepared going in. :-)
Sharjinka: I put off adopting a dog for a long time because I wanted
to make sure my home was okay for it.
evile: it definitely helps to be as prepared as possible...especially
the big dog
Sharjinka: Yep, yep.
evile: A. is still after me about the whole Nikiyoy thing. I don't
know what the fuck she wants from me.
Sharjinka: Why??? Did you talk to her about it???
evile: on ICQ
evile: SkyeDS: did you see what I posted for your benefit and Onyxlynxx's
in my LJ yesterday?
evile: saw it. you & I have already discussed this via ICQ, and I
feel like I've said all that is productive to say. Whatever goes
forward from this should be between you and Nikiyoy
SkyeDS: right

Sharjinka: Smart thing to say.
evile:
SkyeDS: that was my final word on it, and I thought you might like to
know, because as far as I'm concerned, that's the end of that
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: I wanted to ease whatever awkwardness was there.
evile: *shrug* this shouldn't be a 'my friends vs her friends' gang
style encounter, and as far as I'm concerned it's not going to be.
SkyeDS: it made onyxlynxx feel better, and that was a good thing.
evile: good.

Sharjinka: I really don't like her pulling others into her
discussions with others.
evile: nope. I hate it. And I am NOT picking up sides. I just wish
she'd understand that some of my friends aren't going ot like her,
and that's just life, and I"'m not going to pick sides and fight with
anyone.
Sharjinka: It just seems like such a....uhm....defamation of
character thing.
evile: exactly.
evile: SkyeDS: was hoping it would help you rest easier too
evile: We talked it out in ICQ already.
SkyeDS: nods, but the last I remember you saying was the word awkward
SkyeDS: so I wanted no more awkward
evile: *turns off teh switch* Better?
SkyeDS: if that was the awkward switch yes.
evile: sorry I don't work that way...but if people will quit poking
hte sore spot it will eventually heal on its own.
evile: SkyeDS: I think accepting an apology is necessary to start
healing a sore spot. Shouldn't leave one hanging, you either accept
it or not.
evile: it is/was between YOU and NIKIyoy. you and Nikiyoy have traded
apologies, it's over. Quit trying to prod me about it. I like you
both, it bothered me that you were at odds, give me a while and I'll
get over it.

Sharjinka: HeeHee...
Sharjinka: She is somewhat annoying and persistent about it!
evile: yup.
evile: After all her boo hoo about how you wouldn't stop bothering
her about the horses, when she wanted to disengage, then she does the
same to m e.
evile: evile: (this is me trying to disengage and change the
subject, please do NOT back me into a corner. bygones. over. no more.)
SkyeDS: fine, whatever
evile: vile: I will not pick sides, I willnot fight with youon her
behalf, i will not fight with her on your behalf. It was between you
and her.
SkyeDS: fine whatever = disengaging
evile: there is/was nothing to apologize to *me* for.
SkyeDS: I don't remember offering an apology
evile: there is/was nothing to post to LJ to me about, then.
SkyeDS: I remember accepting an apology offered to me, because I feel
it necessary to accept one or not, but not leave one hanging, the
person who apologized deserves as much
evile: evile: *nod* that was graciously done.
SkyeDS: and because you mentioned things being awkward, I thought
they might be less awkward if you were aware of said acceptance
SkyeDS: it was, as stated, merely an FYI, requiring no response on
your part, I just wanted to be sure you saw it
evile: Ok. saw it. let's talk about something else now.
SkyeDS: again, fine, whatever.
evile: evile: I had a nice 4 day weekend, a nice trip to Indiana & a
good visit w/my folks. Definitely a good way to step back and re-
assess my priorities in life.
SkyeDS: I'm sorry if I miscommunicated what I was after there, I
wanted a simple yes or no, you saw the fyi or you didn't.
SkyeDS: no discussion was intended.
evile: I saw it. I didn't feel any post on LJ was needed because you
and I had discussed it on ICQ already.
SkyeDS: I didn't expect a post
evile: Ok.
SkyeDS: boss gone, time to eat, brb
evile: OK

evile: dumb bitch.
evile: I really don't have any idea what she wants/wanted from me.
Sharjinka: Really!
Sharjinka: I can't believe anyone can drag something out like that!
evile: I''m not going to applaud and tell her what a great person she
is for accepting an apology (after siccing her friends on Nikiyoy  first)
evile: And especially since the acceptance was so completely
ungracious and cut and pasted from some self-help blather somewhere.
Sharjinka: I totally agree and like I said...I knew Patrick's friends
would tear me apart so I refused to do it. I was only an arrogant
bitch for not apologizing publicly to him. I can live with that. ;-)
evile: exactly. I hate it when people shove your words back in your
teeth when you're trying to make things right. Fuck that and fuck
them.
Sharjinka: Absolutely! :-)
evile: I'm not going to tell her she's right. I'm not going to tell
her what a great person she is. I'm not going to take her side
against Nikiyoy's. It's not between me and her, it's betwen her and
Nikiyoy, and I don't want to hear about it, but that's all she fuckin'
wants to talk about.
Sharjinka: That would annoy me so much. I remember she annoyed me so
much, I told her I had to run errands and I got out of ICQ for the
rest of the day.
evile: to me when you get to the point where some of your friends
don't like other of your friends, you just DONT TALK ABOUT the
people that they don't like...makes sense to me.
Sharjinka: I know. I have trouble NOT talking about CB to his
friends. I try really hard not to trash talk about him in front of
his friends but it does hurt sometimes. *sigh* Older = slightly
more mature
evile: yup. seems to me that when you have a lot of positive things
and good friends in common, it would just be easier to talk about
those, and not dwell on the unpleasant stuff.
Sharjinka: I can be immature when my feelings are hurt. I've noticed
I can still be petty about it. I just try not to be petty to his
friends. They are so nice in that they are sympathetic about it.
evile: *nod*
evile: I'm sympathetic too...Nikiyoy nevrer should have said what she
said...but the response she got was like shooting a biting mosquito
with a machine gun. Neither were in the right.
Sharjinka: One girl even told me it hurts worse to be rejected by a
nice guy because it makes you wonder what is wrong with you when a
nice guy doesn't want you. She understood exactly how I felt and
she felt that CB was really missing out. I thought that was
extremely nice of her to say.
Sharjinka: That's true. The response to it was terrible.
evile: that really was!
Sharjinka: Overkill!!!!
evile: yup.
evile: very poor behavior on everyon'es part, I was very disappointed
in everyone.
evile: But Nikiyoy apologized and got over it...and apparently sineater is
over it, so the only person still crazed is skye_ds...and it's just
getting old.
Sharjinka: She always seems to behave like this. I wish she'd move
on.
evile: nope. It just isn't in her. She just keeps doing the same shit
over and over, wherever she goes. I can't believe those closest to
her can't see the cycle ofb ehavior.
Sharjinka: I know I did but I tried to be somewhat friendly. I
didn't like how she handled situations though.
evile: Me neither.
Sharjinka: *sigh* I was very happy to lose contact with her for
several years.
evile: yup. Hopefully she'll get sucked into SCA and won't do HFS
anymore. It's that whole big fish/small pond thing, though..she feels
more rare & important at HFS than she is at SCA.
Sharjinka: It seems to me she's ignored in both groups.
evile: as much as people can, yeah.
Sharjinka: I'm surprised she doesn't pick up on that.
evile: neither she and sineater are particularly good at picking up
social cues.
evile: I've always suspected sineater was mildly autistic. Aspergers,
maybe.
evile: I've seen her start talking, keep talking for the longest
time, people start looking away and starting other conversations and
she keeps telling her story long after no one is making eye contact
or looking at her.
Sharjinka: Yeah....social cues seem very difficult for them.
Sharjinka: I've done that to her. I've even looked at her and
said "please excuse me...I have to go."
evile: For her, I don't think it's autism, but...who knows. She's
very into 'performing' rather than 'interacting'. Even when you nod
and try to say something along the lines of what she's talking about,
she doesn't respond, she just starts another story.
evile: talking online with her is easier, because then at least I
have the illusion that she's 'listening' or paying attention to what
I have to say, instead of just putting on a show.
Sharjinka: I've noticed that.
Sharjinka: That's why MOST of HFS doesn't really talk to her.
evile: it's frustrating. We have things in common, you'd think we'd
be able to get along and do stuff together, but we can't.
Sharjinka: It's certainly NOT your fault. She's just not somebody
you can do that with. As you said, she's a performer. She doesn't
even try to get along with others in a social give and take kind of
way.
evile: I know what sineater and sonar0m think they get out of it, I just
cant' see why Jubilee hangs around.
Sharjinka: Jubilee doesn't have the best home life and she respects
strong female figures.
Sharjinka: She also latches on loyally to people.
evile: that's really too bad.
evile: loyalty is a wonderful quality. But it's good if what you're
loyal to is worth that loyalty.
Sharjinka: Yeah.... She also doesn't seem to think a situation
through thoroughly.
evile: *nod*
Sharjinka: Blindly loyal and devoted....
evile: I guess she's a drama junkie, too. So being around someone who
is so strongly polarized is probably a good source for her.
Sharjinka: She is fairly dramatic.
evile: yup.
Sharjinka: *sigh*
evile: yup.
evile: there aren't many strong women at HFS. Thats why A. finds such
easy prey...and another reason why she stays.
Sharjinka: I did wonder about Jubilee's odd looks on Sunday. *sigh*
I just didn't have time to talk to her.
Sharjinka: I don't come across too strong, I don't think.
evile: *shrug* Jubilee is going to believe who and what she wants to
believe. I don't think there's much you can do. Time will take care
of things, I think.
evile: but you have been with HFS for a long time, so that makes you
a strong figure in the HFS, IMHO.
Sharjinka: Thank you. I don't plan to say much. I figure if there
are questions, I'll deal with them when they get asked.
evile: *nod* My friend mouser had a great article on how to keep
trolls out of your group. skye_ds uses a lot of troll tactics.
Sharjinka: Damn.... I wish she wouldn't. She reminds me of Cathy a
bit.
evile: *nod* that 'poor helpless me' vibe.
Sharjinka: I have noticed I REALLY react strongly against that.
evile: me too.
Sharjinka: At least with skye_ds you can see it coming a bit. I didn't
know until I walked into a room and was treated like a criminal that
anything had been done.
evile: that SUCKS.
Sharjinka: Yep. I managed to do my strong, tough act and then got
home and cried about it.
Sharjinka: I sometimes see the look CB gave me in my mind's eye when
he thought I had threatened her and it still hurts a bit.
evile: yeah. that's the worst thing...trolls take a small thing and
turn it into something bigger. at the core there may be a small
kernel of truth (you're a physically powerful woman...which gets
turned into you're a woman who could hurt her which then mutates into
you DID threaten it.)
Sharjinka: Yeah....I was very unprepared for what happened. At least
with A, I know it! ;-)
evile: yup
Sharjinka: Do you have a digital camera??
evile: yes, somewhere.
Sharjinka: Okay.
evile: http://esoterica.bichaunt.org/
Go down to 'trollspotting'
evile: "Trolls love to tell tales "in confidence", and can invent
convincing reasons why the members of the group shouldn't talk to
each other – or to the Leaders – about these tall tales."

Sharjinka: I'm reading the story of the adopted troll.
Sharjinka: Hmmmmm..... ;-)
evile: HFS seems fairly vulnerable to trolls due to the non
communication between various groups & kingdoms, and the youth of the
members.
Sharjinka: I agree that's true and I've seen it happen....
evile: When mouser was one of the people in charge of poly group, we
had less trollage. We seem to get more now.
evile: We are pretty good at keeping them out on our own, as a group.
We are all mature adults, with excellent communication skills, so
that keeps down the potential damage a troll can do.
evile: I personally need to work on not feeding the trolls.
Sharjinka: I think I do to.
Sharjinka: They really seem angry when I actually show backbone.
evile: they use your good nature against you. You want to be fair, do
the right thing, get to understand one another...and all of those
things just give the trolls more ammo to use against you. They use
your own good heart against you. that's what infuriates me most about
them.
Sharjinka: Yes, I know. I had to (and still do) work hard to be
fair. My background is not the best and suddenly....it was used
against me in a way I never thought it would be.
evile: yup
Sharjinka: When she told me that she would make sure they would take
her word over some scum, gang member, I almost lost it. (Not
violent....just tearing up and such.) I spent over 20 years trying
to move away from that....
evile: yeah.
Sharjinka: I'm rather up front about it because if I mess up or I do
something wrong...I'm responsible for my actions, of course. But I'm
still learning. People are still teaching me.....and it has taken me
a long time. I still cuss and drink. ;-) It's built into the
package. I just don't do it as much as I used to. ;-)
evile: yup.
Sharjinka: The troll that came into our group and convinced them that
she was a victimized princess really made me sick.
evile: Eventually, though...actions do speak louder than words. On
one hand you have Sharjinka, who is honest to the point of being
blunt, who does what she says she is going to do, and is always
consistent. And then you have this other person who says she's
forgiving and kind hearted and always interested in hearing what
others have to say....and when it becomes obvious that she is NOT
what she says she is, the decent folk are vindicated.
Sharjinka: Yes....it was terribly relieving to hear Katie say "how
could we ever take her word over yours? You should've spoken up,
doofus." It doesn't sound really nice but it made me laugh and cry
at the same time. (Thanks for all the compliments. Blunt. That's
MEEEEEE!!! :-)
evile: yeah. I admire people who are who and what they say they are.
As hard as it is to be yourself and be true to yourself, you always
walk that path.
evile: I am very quick to judge and it takes me a long time to
forgive or change my mind...but I have to say...my judgement is about
99%.
Sharjinka: Thank you. There are still some things I wish I could
change.... I swore I would NEVER fight again when I moved down
here.... and I still did. *sigh* Not only that, I played street
basketball for years. *sigh* I missed my....people from where I
used to live.
Sharjinka: I agree! You're an excellent judge of character.
Sharjinka: You really know what you're talking about. I loved the
advice you gave ArgonEric. That was right on!!
evile: I hope it wasn't too harsh.
evile: I am very blunt...I try to be tactful, sometimes it doesn't
work.
Sharjinka: I thought it was the perfect thing to say. I know it'll
put his mind at ease!!
evile: I hope so. I really would like to see them both happy.
Sharjinka: :-) I hope so too....
evile: and, ya know...I've found that I can soften my approach
without compromising my Self. I can still make snap judgements and be
harsh...but no reason to do it out loud and alienate people. :P
Sharjinka: Yep. I try to hold back myself a bit. :-D
evile: A's still not back from lunch. I guess she's mad at me again.
Oh, foo.
Sharjinka: Long lunch.
Sharjinka: Maybe you'll be lucky and get the silent treatment. ;-)
evile: I don't really give a shit....I didn't do anything wrong. I
need to get better at not letting her push my buttons. I need to
say "OK, we're not talking a bout that anymore" and then NOT talk
about it.
Sharjinka: It wasn't really your fault. She's the one that kept
dwelling on it.
evile: she keeps trying to sic sineater on me and I keep telling sineater
that if there is something I have said or done to HIM, I'll talk
about it, but otherwise, I am not interested, and that keeps shutting
him down. I hate to be that way with him, but I am not going to fight
with him about her.
evile: I'm better at not letting sineater push my buttons. I guess
because we've known each other longer.
Sharjinka: I can understand that. I really do think that's the
smartest way to handle it.
evile: yup.
Sharjinka: I didn't handle the situation with Cathy very well and CB
and I were never the same after that.
Sharjinka: I was so upset but she followed through on that and it
ended just as she said it would.
evile: *nod* it's hard. especially when it comes clear out of the
blue. I am slowly but surely learning with skye_ds.
evile: it no longer surprises me when my efforts at kindness get me
bit on the butt....but I do keep getting bit in the butt.
Sharjinka: I saw skye_ds coming a mile away and avoided her. Cathy was
cute and delicate. She was very nice to my face. I really got roped
in. ;-)
evile: *nod* Lucky for us, skye_ds is not that skilled at manipulating
people. She's pretty good, but not perfect.
Sharjinka: I don't know.... After Cathy....skye_ds seems pretty clumsy to
me. ;-)
evile: yup. Cathy sounds like a real pro.
Sharjinka: She really was.
Sharjinka: Now....maybe you understand why I was actually frightened
at the skating rink. ;-)
Sharjinka: My hands were still shaking slightly when I got home.
evile: yeah.
Sharjinka: It was a real scary experience for me.
evile: I'm sure. we had a mid-management person here who was like
that, and I was terrified of her.
evile: I'm still finding little landmines she left for me, she's been
gone for a couple years now.
Sharjinka: I'm so glad that I took the action I did which was not
doing anything. Cathy kind of self destructed herself with her lies
and manipulation. The boys in Drandmir pretty much hate her.
evile: yeah. sometimes the best thing to do is just lay low until the
person blows up on their own. You hate to sit there and wait, knowing
that your reputation is being destroyed in the meantime...but a good
troll can twist anything you say and do to fit their story.
Sharjinka: Yep. I tried to talk to CB about it once when I just
couldn't take it anymore. I still can't talk about what was said
exactly. Just hurt like hell and I gave up.
Sharjinka: I never thought he'd believe that about me because I
thought we were good friends. She managed to make him believe it.
evile: *hugs*
Sharjinka: *hugs* I try not to dwell on it too much. I was sorry to
lose CB over it but at least, I didn't lose everyone.
evile: yeah. it still sucks...but yeah, it could have been lots worse.
Sharjinka: Yes, very true.
evile: it's like a witch hunt...they set up situations to where no
matter what you do or say, it 'proves' you guilty.
evile: I'm to the point with [brother A] and the Pig that I figure If I get
to be the villain no matter what, why do anything? And I'm getting
closer to that with sineater and skye_ds.
Sharjinka: Yeah....I can understand that.
evile: Just disengage completely....and realize that it's my
brothers' choice to stay in that miserable looney bin cesspit.
evile: I can't help them or save them, and if I stick around and get
involved, I could end up in there too. So...not worth it.
Sharjinka: I agree. It's sad and horrible....but sometimes if you
try to help....people just move further away from you.
evile: I quit responding to her LJ posts, because every time I'd
respond, sineater would call me and yell at me for my opinions. I guess I
am going to have to quit talking to her in ICQ too. I figured we had
enough in common we could just stick to those topics, but if we
can't, we can't.
Sharjinka: Yeah, makes sense.
evile: I have her and sineater locked out of most of my LJ posts these
days. And poor little Malamorf [sonar0m] was never 'in' on any of them in the
first place.
Sharjinka: I will always feel sorry for that kid.
evile: me too...
evile: but, legally, he's an adult and can make his own choices in
life, too.
evile: His parents really tried....
Sharjinka: I know.
evile: At some point, I guess the parents just have to let go and
realize they did their best, time to let him go and make his own
mistakes in life.
Sharjinka: Yes, that's true but it's still sad.
evile: yup. sineater's dad and I talked about all that this weekend. It's
hard to see a guy that big and strong hurt so much.
Sharjinka: Poor guy!!
evile: I could kill A and the pig for that alone, not to even mention
all the other damage they've done to this family.
Sharjinka: *sigh* It is just terrible.....I can believe it.
evile: but, you know...we go on with our lives. We don't give our
energy to those people. We spend time with people we love, we do
things we enjoy, we are here when we are called, but until then, we
aren't going to waste our energy on them.
Sharjinka: Makes sense.
evile: that's his take on things, anyway. He and my mom have been
doing art together, and spending good quality time with their "empty
nest, " and living well.
Sharjinka: That's cool. My parents are enjoying each other's company
since my Dad's retirement.
evile: that's awesome. :)
Sharjinka: :-)
evile: seeing that makes me hopeful for my own future :) I hope Sweetie
and I have that much love for each other when we're 50+
Sharjinka: I know what you mean. I find my parents inspiring. Even
though they joke and such.
evile: yeah. My mom & stepdad have big fights at times...but they
stick together and work it out. that's important to see.
Sharjinka: Yep. I'm glad they work it out.
evile: The world is mostly a beautiful place. It doesn't hurt anyone
to appreciate that fact, and it doesn't help them to dwell on the sad
things of this world. So may as well do your best to be a good person
and make a good life for yourself and your loved ones.
Sharjinka: Very true!!
evile: it's just something I need to keep remembering. :)
Sharjinka: Yeah....me too. Did you go skating last night?
evile: No. My plane got in at 10:30. Next week is full moon in the
yard (you're invited, BTW. skye_ds and sineater are NOT). So maybe I'll go the 28th
Sharjinka: I might go. Full moon on the stream sounds so fantastic.
evile: You're more than welcome. I'll try to post an update & info
soon. Maybe another evite link to the elite non-drama folks.
Sharjinka: Thanks. :-)
evile: I always like having people over. Especially when they're COOL
people.
Sharjinka: Thanks. I love hanging out with you and the other cool
folks. ;-) They are just so interesting to talk to.
evile: Yeah. I'm so blessed; I have a lot of cool friends.
Sharjinka: They are so neat. I'm hoping to get bold enough to ask
questions soon. I'm really interested....
evile: heehee. I know what you mean :)
Sharjinka: They have a different lifestyle and I'm afraid I might
come off as offensive.
evile: I doubt it. Unless you just pipe right up with "so, what gets
you off?"
Sharjinka: Oh.... geez!! I don't think so!!
evile: Onyxlynxx said some guy at a happy hour just popped up with that
one. I think as long as you can keep from saying that, you'll be
fine :P
Sharjinka: Okay. I think I can manage to word questions a bit better
than that.
evile: I figured you could!
Sharjinka: :-)
evile: Most of my friends are pretty open. and if they don't want to
answer, they will say so, and no big deal.
Sharjinka: That's good. Sometimes my curiosity gets the best of me.
I try to word it as best I can.
evile: I think if people are open enough in conversation to let on
that they are unconventional, they are open enough to answer
questions about it.
evile: especially if it's someone they've met before, who isn't just
some anonymous pervert that showed up once, or whatever.
Sharjinka: I hope so. :-)
evile: I think so.
evile: people usually like to talk about themselves, as long as they
feel their 'audience' isn't hostile.
Sharjinka: True.
Sharjinka: I'm going to go catch the bus. Laters!!
evile: Ok. *hugs* laters!

 

evile: I missed you at the park Sunday :(.
Sharjinka: I'm sorry. I was busy moving a dryer from my sister's.....
Sharjinka: I didn't realize how tiring that would be.
evile: everyone thought you were probably playing WoW
Sharjinka: I did....later in the evening...

evile: Skye_ds's on. I told her I wasn't going to initiate
contact...we'll see if she does. Or if I'm getting the silent
treatment. what.ever.

Sharjinka: But I was moving the dryer and replacing the cord. I
didn't realize how long it'd take.
evile: *nod* that's heavy stuff.
Sharjinka: Haven't heard from her. ;-) It doesn't exactly depress
me.
evile: nope.
evile: She left right after I got to the park on Sunday; boo hoo.
Sharjinka: :-D
Sharjinka: What time did you get there?
evile: Oh...maybe 3 or so? I don't really remember. They went to eat.
evile: maybe more like 4.
Sharjinka: Should've come earlier.... ;-) I'm sure the boys would
love that.

evile: we'll see if it's a repeatable experiment.
Sharjinka: I wonder if she'll leave if I show up.....
Sharjinka: My popularity might go up. ;-) j/k (I'm horrible)
evile: It would be worth checking out. Kim was there and Skye_ds
hadn't left...so apparently she only leaves for some 'bad guys'
Sharjinka: I didn't realize that she and Kim weren't on good terms.
evile: Kim Sylvana kim.
Sharjinka: Yeah....little Kim?

evile: Yeah. She didn't like Little Kim telling her how to manage her
men and horses.
evile: Little Kim is a troublemaker who tried to get me to help
her...I told her that if I saw signs of abuse to the animals, I would
call the proper authorities, and that was that.
Sharjinka: She is very controlling.... I noticed her ordering Dani
around a bit.... I think she believes that Dani needs a mother
type.
evile: Kim is controlling or Skye_ds is controlling? I think they
share many of the same personality defects, which is why they don't
get along.
Sharjinka: Yeah....I've noticed that.... Kim is controlling but
Skye_ds is too.
evile: I don't know which one Dani is
Sharjinka: Ruling Lady.
evile: nope, still dont' know who she is.
evile: what does she look like? do? wear?
Sharjinka: She's a blonde girl. Very bubbly and sweet. Wears a
bodice and has a pirate look about her.
evile: does she date a tall skinny boy with bad teeth and a puppy?
Sharjinka: I'm not sure.
Sharjinka: She was dating Shamus.
evile: Does she live someplace wierd? Connolly or Connor or some
place liek that?
Sharjinka: I think so, yes. :-) Up north - near Waco.
evile: Ok. She was a snot to me on Sunday.
Sharjinka: I'm sorry. She's usually not like that. Maybe the RL
thing is going to her head.
evile: *shrug* I don't know her, I wasn't introduced, so I don't
really care.
Sharjinka: Okay. I should introduce you. Maybe she was just having
an off day.
evile: No telling. Skye_ds was talking to her before they all left for
lunch/dinner. So maybe that put her in a bad mood. Or maybe A told
her some bad stuff about me. wahtever.
Sharjinka: Might have been. Sounds like something she'd do.
evile: *shrug* I don't really care. If it makes A. feel better, she
can say wahtever she likes.
evile: Small Kim was full of nasty stuff on Sunday....mostly I think
because she was frustrated that her IDs were stolen, but then instead
of just dealing with that, she was talking smack about every other
woman out on the field. It was just...icky.
evile: I still don't have an effective way of dealing with people who
want to share all kinds of rude gossip and nasty TMI....without being
unspeakably rude myself, that is.
Sharjinka: I know what you mean. I just listen to it most of the
time.
evile: nod and smile. I just end up feeling so icky afterwards,
though....I don't want to be one of those kinds of people, I don't
want to be perceived as being like that simply because I allow them
to unload poison at me.
Sharjinka: I know what you mean but I never know what to do.
evile: me either.
Sharjinka: I do the smile and nod thing too.
evile: She gave me her AIM info and email and I'm just going to lose
it...I don't need that negtive garbage in my life, and I have a
shitty enough time trying to get along with sineater and Skye_ds without
being seen as cozying up to one of 'their enemies'
Sharjinka: I can understand that. Didn't know she was the enemy
though. ;-)
evile: Once you do or say something bad to/about her once, you're the
enemy forever.
evile: She may make nice to you if there's something she needs from
you, but that's about it.
Sharjinka: Okay.... I'll keep that in mind.
evile: And even if you do somehow manage to talk it through and get
back on speaking terms, teh next time something comes up, she'll
throw it back in your face again and again and never forget that you
done her wrong, once, a million years ago.
Sharjinka: I believe it. I'm expecting it.
evile: *nod*
Sharjinka: *sigh*
evile: If at all possible, it would be good to unite the knights of
Drandmir to ALL say "NO, equestrian combat was not voted in by an
Althing, HFS does not allow or sanction them, if you want to do them,
it's your business, but it's not an HFS activity"
evile: and that way she won't just be mad at mean ol Jinx. It can
be 'all of them' against her, the way she thinks it is anyway.
Sharjinka: Okay. Well....I know that Nezz, Thax, Mark, Steve, and I
are against it. I'm pretty sure Jose is against it but I'm not sure.
Sharjinka: At least, not absolutely sure. I can talk to him at A-Kon
about it.
evile: *nod* She gets away with a lot of shit because people don't
feel it's worth the hassle...but at some point, especially when
people are in danger and the HFS is threatened...people need to step
up and say "No" to her.
Sharjinka: I'm getting ready to. She can still do it; it's just not
affiliated with HFS.
evile: *nod* exactly.
Sharjinka: Any way I say it to her....she's not going to like it.
evile: which is why it needs to not come from you or 'you as
Sharjinka', it needs to come from you, you as representative of the
Knights of DRandmir, as a Reeve, in an official capacity.
evile: And, honestly, if you can sic someone on her who doesn't like
her already and she knows it...all the better for you.
Sharjinka: I don't know if anyone wants to deal with her. The
Drandmir mentality is to ignore what you don't like and hope it goes
away on its own.
evile: she is just not that good at picking up hints. someone is
going to have to step up and say "you are endangering our populous,
you didn't clear this battle game and rules in an althing, we can't
keep you from being at the park, but we can tell you this isn't an
HFS game you're playing"
evile: and if someone falls, gets hurt or killed, it's going to be on
HER not HFS.
Sharjinka: I agree.
Sharjinka: Usually all the unpopular jobs fall to me. I'm really
beginning to dislike it.
Sharjinka: *sigh*
evile: well, make someone else step up. Maybe even someone she still
likes/respects (prophet?)...this isn't a personal attack against her,
even though that's how she's going to read it. It's a matter of
safety, and HFS procedures for starting new games/new rules
Sharjinka: Yeah....I know. *sigh*
evile: A bunch of the gals, maybe a couple of the guys, are going
tubing on Sunday the 5th in San Marcos if you're interested.
Sharjinka: I just don't know if I want her angry at every belt out
there.
Sharjinka: Oh, darn it! I'm going to A-Kon. :-D
Sharjinka: Sorry.
evile: the sooner she gets pissed off at enough people, the sooner
she'll leave.
Sharjinka: There's a goal. ;-)
evile: this isn't about personalities, or who likes who, or being
mad...this is a legitimate concern for the health and safety of the
people who play at HFS.
evile: she keeps trying ot make it personal, and you keep letting her
take it to that level. It's NOT.
Sharjinka: I wish all her "expertise" made me feel better about it.
evile: even if she was as good as she says she is, she hasn't been
trained by SCA in their reeve-stuff, and she is only 1 person,
whereas SCA has several people on th ground, all well-trained, for
every mounted person.
Sharjinka: That's the part that makes me nervous. This is very new
territory and we don't have many people trained for it.
evile: she gets too busy flapping her yap and doesn't watch her
animals, so even if she was an expert, her attention isn't what it
shoudl be to be safe.
Sharjinka: I agree. *sigh*
evile: it's not personal, you aren't attacking her expertise or her
personality, you are pointing out that it's not safe and wasn't
vetted properly through channels to be an HFS game.
Sharjinka: *sigh* She doesn't see it that way.
evile: and if you keep it on that level, regardless of her temper
tantrums and wanting to make it personal, eventually it may get
through her head. Or she may leave. win win either way, IMHO.
Sharjinka: True. :-D
evile: What it boils down to, personality wise, is that in SCA she's
a small fish i a big pond; there are lots of people with horses and a
lot of them are better trainers & riders than she is. HFS she feels
like the biggest fish because she's the only fish, ya know? Make it
clear that she's not a fish at all, and she may go swimming elsewhere.
Sharjinka: Good metaphor and I figured that was the case.
Sharjinka: :-)
evile: just make it clear that it's not personal,and it's not just as
yourself that you are speaking (better yet, get Nezz or someone else
to talk to her, or several of you speak to her together)...and maybe
this will get resolved before anyone gets hurt.
Sharjinka: That's a good idea. I just need to make it out to the
park!
evile: *nod*
Sharjinka: I don't think I'll be there next Sunday because of A-Kon.
evile: yeah. I know a lot of people going to that.
Sharjinka: :-D I'm so weird. Steve and Xavier are going too.
evile: that's gonna be awesome :)
Sharjinka: Yep, yep! I can't wait. A-Kon is so neat. I'm going to
get my hair done, pack up costumes, etc. I feel like a drag
queen....sort of. ;-)
Sharjinka: I get so girly about this!
evile: heehee. Awesome!
Sharjinka: :-D
evile: I"m back. I had to get to the credit union before they closed
at 2.
Sharjinka: No problem.
evile: With the exception of Skye_ds, Nikiyoy really liked HFS on Sunday;
we may go out again so she can actually play.
Sharjinka: Awesome! I'd love her to join. I think she'd have fun.
evile: I think so too :)
Sharjinka: :-D
evile: I think she'd kick a lot of ass, too.
Sharjinka: I do too. Kind of scary: the idea of her swinging a
sword. Lot of potential power.
evile: *nod*
Sharjinka: :-)
evile: she played with the football girls for a while
Sharjinka: Wow.
evile: I don't think she ever played in any actual league games, just
the scrimmages on Sundays. She's also fenced.
Sharjinka: Cool.
evile: I don't know how good a fencer she is. But one of Pace's
friends does the boffer sword thing and Nikiyoy has played with them. No
actual 'rules' like HFS has, but just general beating up type
stufff :P
Sharjinka: She should be very good then. :-)
evile: Pace's friend is better. But yeah.
Sharjinka: :-D
evile: Pace's friend is some sort of transgendered person...and I'm
not sure how the HFS kids would react, so I haven't suggested HFS to
Pace's freind.
Sharjinka: Wow.
evile: yeah.
Sharjinka: We had a complete loon come out a few years ago and really
scared the kids.
evile: Pace's friend is nice, but ...
Sharjinka: Oh.....
evile: yeah.
Sharjinka: I'm worried. This is my first work day away from Pip.
evile: I guess you'll see how that went when you get home.
Sharjinka: True. I hope my home is still okay when I get there.
evile: it'll be important for you to learn this now, rather than
after you've made a 100% commitment.
Sharjinka: True, but I feel committed already. ;-)
evile: yeah, I know you're emotionally involved...but you also have
to be sure he can handle the life he'd have with you, on a normal day
to day non holiday weekend basis.
Sharjinka: True.
evile: I wish I could come to your craft night tomorrow.
Sharjinka: Yeah....I had forgotten about it and Jose asked me if I
planned to have one. I told him yes. ;-) I hope folks don't mind
the dog. He is fairly big.
evile: well...1) it's your house, if people dn't like the dog, they
can go elsewhere. and 2) if this dog is going to be a permanent part
of your life, everyone is going to have to get used to it.
Sharjinka: Very true. He does have a sweet disposition and I think
the trial period will be over at the end of next weekend.
evile: *nod*
Sharjinka: Poor thing. I put a muzzle on him during the day.
evile: My friend peglegasus puts his Weimaraner in a cage during the day
when he's not home.
Sharjinka: I didn't have the heart to do that. I was giving a pee
pee training rag for him. He's housebroken but he's not used to my
hours yet. His foster home had a 2pm to 10pm work schedule.
Sharjinka: given a training rag.
evile: *nod*
Sharjinka: He hasn't had any accidents at my home but he looks so
pathetic with his rag and muzzle on....
evile: I guess that's why this is a trial period for you as well as
him...to see if you can handle being a dog owner.
Sharjinka: True. It has been over 14 years old since I've dealt with
a dog.
evile: animals need discipline and firm limits on behavior. otherwise
they get neurotic and misbehave. It's crueler IMHO not to have
discipline, or only intermittent discipline.
Sharjinka: Yes. I know. I'm trying to be firm from the start.
evile: *nod*
Sharjinka: I also need to discipline him at the door. He wants to
leave with me and tries to push past me. I'm not sure what to do.
I'm consulting the greyhound manual tonight. ;-)
evile: yeah...that could be a problem.
Sharjinka: It has been. He's a strong animal.
evile: yup. I think once he has it firmly in mind that youre Alpha,
you wil lhave a much easier time getting him to stay.
Sharjinka: Yeah. I think he already knows that I'm a leader in some
way.
Sharjinka: :-)
evile: but still testing to see what he can get away with :)
Sharjinka: Yes, he is testing me. My Dad used to be a bit harsh on
the discipline with the family dog.
Sharjinka: I'm not sure what to do yet. I plan to consult books and
see what they suggest.
evile: *nod*
evile: You don't have to be mean, but you do have to be firm and
consistent.
Sharjinka: I'm on my way out. ;-) I plan to be.
evile: OK *hugs*
Sharjinka: *hugs* Thanks for all the support and encouragement.
evile: No problem, girlfriend.

 

Sharjinka: *sigh* So much for that idea....
evile: which?
Sharjinka: I talked to Skye_ds about mounted combat and horses....and
beginners on horses that advanced.
evile: You are trying ot talk her into this idea or out of this idea
or what?
Sharjinka: I was trying to tell her to slow down and train the kids
more on basic riding. I failed miserably.
evile: where was this?ICQ or on one of hte boards?
Sharjinka: On AIM.
Sharjinka: I was trained VERY differently on horses than Skye_ds.
evile: I'm sure.
Sharjinka: I told her I couldn't support something like this. Not
this fast.
Sharjinka: Mounted combat on horses that they have trouble
controlling their paces?
evile: I hear ya. I think it's a terrible idea...but she'll have to
learn it the hard way, and hopefully it won't take more than a bad
fall to teach it to her (as opposed to a break or a death, leading
to lawsuit and/or extermination of the animals)
Sharjinka: I hope not! Geez!
Sharjinka: I'm so worried about this and I thought if I talked to
her... she's only worried about protecting herself legally. I'm
worried about more than that.
evile: Tell me what happens to horses that throw/trample people and
then the survivors sue the owners...horsie is dogmeat, right?
Sharjinka: I think so......I've heard of that in worse case scenarios.
Sharjinka: It's very rare.....but it's kind of like putting down a
mean dog. It can happen.
evile: If you can't present it to her framed in a "safety of the
kids" format, present it to her as "if your animals hurt/kill a kid,
your animals are meat"
Sharjinka: I don't think she's willing to listen anymore. She was
mad at me for questioning her judgment on this.
evile: She's the 'horse expert' and she knows everything there is to
know about horses, riding, and mounted combat.
Sharjinka: They haven't even been doing mounted combat that long!
evile: nope.
Sharjinka: I know on the ground combat. Freaky things CAN happen.
Sharjinka: On horses.....I'm having trouble figuring out what all
could go wrong...but I don't like to think along those lines.
evile: I hate to say it, but it's going to take something really bad
to shake her confidence in her 'expertise', and maybe not even then.
Sharjinka: Yes....but what bad thing? I'm worried about the kids.
Protected legally - okay...all well and good but if one of the kids
is seriously injured....
evile: You can't prevent them from signing the waiver and going
riding...all stables have signs that horseback riding is a risk and
you assume all responsibilities. ... I"m sorry, but that's the truth.
Sharjinka: Yes...I know. *sigh* I signed the same waiver when I was
learning. :-)
Sharjinka: My horse instructor never claimed to be an expert. The
first thing she handed me was a shovel and pitchfork.
Sharjinka: She said something about "to ride a horse is to care for
it, can't learn one thing and not anything else."
evile: You are definitely running worst case scenarios. She doesn't
want anyone hurt any more than you do...well, that's good of her, her
heart is in the right place, but....shit happens, and it's gonna
happen whether your'e there with horses or not. A kid could fall out
of a tree while playing assasin and break their arm, just as easily
as falling off the horse.

Sharjinka: That's true.
Sharjinka: *sigh*
Sharjinka: I just wish they'd spend a bit more time working on the
basics.
evile: yup. But she doesn't hear that, she hears you attacking her
knowledge and expertise.
Sharjinka: I know. *sigh*
Sharjinka: I think she got really upset when I told her I wouldn't be
a part of it. I'm not going to ride and I'm not going to learn
mounted combat. I can't control Jesse enough for that.
evile: *nod* good for you. Now hopefully you can trust that others in
the HFS will follow your lead and not do something they dont' feel
safe doing.
Sharjinka: If I thought I could do it, I would. I just don't think
it's safe. I think there is too much machismo from the guys to see
it that way.
Sharjinka: She asked if I planned to talk anyone out of it since they
aren't minors and can ride if they want. I told her it wasn't my
right to tell them what to do.
Sharjinka: If they ask why I don't, I'll just tell them I'm not good
enough or comfortable enough to do that.
evile: *nod*
Sharjinka: I honestly wish people so inexperienced wouldn't ride.
evile: yeah...but how do they get experienced if they dont' ride?
Sharjinka: True....but ....I don't know. I learned the walking and
trotting first. I started out so basic. I guess I just think it's a
lot for a newbie to handle all at once.
evile: yeah. I agree. I wouldnt' try it and I've been riding since I
was a kid.
Sharjinka: I've been watching and thinking about it. I wish I could
do it. I just know that I can't.
evile: That's all you can do...and perhaps some people will be led by
your example.
Sharjinka: Yep. Someday I'll have my own horse and then I'll know
what I'm talking about. It's more of gut instincts and warning
lights then logic right now.
evile: well, it's just like anything else dangerous/unsuitable your
friends get into. You can choose not to do it, you can answer honesty
and completely when they ask WHY, and then you have to let them go.
You can't control anyone but yourself. And you shouldn't try.
Sharjinka: I know. :-) I just know that right now, this is the
decision I have to make on it.
Sharjinka: I have to learn how to handle a dog. This will be my
first dog that wasn't a family pet. Completely my responsibility.
evile: *nod*
Sharjinka: I'm not even sure I can handle THAT! ;-)
evile: Dogs are a lot of work. I wouldn't want one.
Sharjinka: I know. I'm a bit worried.
evile: well, this is a trial period, so it'll be good to find out if
you can handle it.
Sharjinka: 45mph couch potato....
Sharjinka: Yep, yep. I'm going to stress the trial period when he
drops off the dog.
evile: *nod*
Sharjinka: :-D
evile: I've heard/read that having 2 is just as easy (or hard) as
having 1, and then at least they can keep each other company. If Sweetie
and I ever have dogs agian, we are going to get 2.
Sharjinka: It's been recommended that I get 2. I just don't know if
I can afford that right now.
evile: well, like I said, I've heard/read that it's not really any
harder or more expensive to have 2 instead of 1.
Sharjinka: I might think about it again. I'm just worried about
responsibility levels. I've never done this before.
evile: hence the 'trial'
Sharjinka: Yep. :-)
Sharjinka: I'm bringing him out to the park on Sunday. :-D
evile: cool. I hope I'm in town, but still have no idea whether I
will be here or not.
Sharjinka: I was planning on going to Scarborough but I think that
would be a trauma for the dog. ;-)
evile: yup. YOu'd have to get a sitter.
Sharjinka: I'm not going to. :-)
Sharjinka: I hope Chip handles cars okay.
evile: I guess you'll find out!
Sharjinka: Yep. :-D
evile: I told Skye she probably needed to take some time to calm down,
and she signed off ICQ right after that....I probably pissed her off
by not playing drama with her or agreeing that you're unreasonable.
Sharjinka: Thanks.
Sharjinka: I wish I wasn't so nervous about.... I just wish the
training would slow down and be a bit more basic and thorough.
evile: Well, maybe if you both give it some time and try to talk
about it again after you've calmed down, you can bring across your
concerns without making her feel like you're attacking her expertise.
Sharjinka: Yeah...I think you're right. As always. :-D
evile: Bottom line, if your friends want to do dangerous stupid
things, there's nothing you can do to stop them. Your concerns have
been voiced, that's all you can do....
Sharjinka: Yeah...that's true.
evile: You may just want to drop it....you're not going to convince
her that she's not doing the right thing, and you're not going to
convince her that HFS+Equestrian=bad idea ...she's the only one with
horses in HFS, as opposed to SCA, and she wants to make herself feel
special.
evile: If people don't have fun and/or get hurt, they won't play with
her horses for long. I've noticed more and more people being
uninterested in the animals the longer they keep going out there.
Wait it out, eventually everyone will lose interest and she'll find
something else to do with herself and her animals.
Sharjinka: You're right.
evile: She seemed to have a nice time at my house last night, but
then apparently she decided that people were attacking her and I was
egging them on, so she sicced sineater on me. Probably as a smokescreen
to keep from really thinking about the HFS-Horses problem very hard.
evile: I don't care to be a punching bag for her and sineater. I don't
think I'll invite t hem to anything anymore. Sucks for sineater, because
I like him, but I can't have that mess in my life.
Sharjinka: I'm sorry. :-( I didn't bring up the horse problem until
today.
Sharjinka: Wonder why she was so pissed....
Sharjinka: She always seems that way.....
evile: I think she didn't decide until today that she'd
been 'attacked' last night.
evile: Been doing the same bullshit since her 'bachelorette party'
before she adnd sineater got married.
Sharjinka: I really don't understand her at all. *sigh*
evile: sineater's 2 oldest female friends threw her a party (becasue
apparently she had none of her own) and things got ugly, but then
calmed down again, s he left all s miles, 'we'll have you over for
swimming and hottubbing at our new place, bla bla' and then by the
time she got home, she'd worked herself into a fury and sicced sineater
on us.
evile: Fast forward 13 goddamned years and she's still pulling the
same damn shit.
Sharjinka: Yeah.....
Sharjinka: She's a scary person to deal with. I don't think I've
ever spoken up until now.
evile: And now you know why you don't.
Sharjinka: *sigh*
evile: you're not going to convince her you're right. She's not going
to convince you she's right. You may have to just tell her "I am
agreeing to disagree" and perhaps say you'll press for destruction of
the animals if they hurt or kill any of your kids.
Sharjinka: I don't think I could ever do that.... However....if
something that serious did happen, the horses would be banned from
the park.
evile: No, Jinx, here is where you go ultrabitch and make clear that
there WILL be consequences for her poor choices. Those animals kill
your kids, those animals are DEAD
Sharjinka: Oh.....
evile: If the risk is as bad as you fear it is, then it's time to
make clear that she is taking a very LARGE risk in pursuing HFS
equestrian.
evile: If you care about the kids as much as you say, and fear for
them as much as you say you do...then here is where the line gets
drawn.
Sharjinka: If only we had more experienced horse folks and we were
moving a bit slower, I think I'd be okay with it.
evile: You need to make clear to her exactly how much you fear for
their safety and how far you will go to protect your people.
evile: If she sees it as concern and genuine, abject TERROR for the
worst case scenario, rather than an attack on her 'expertise' maybe
she can remove her ego and do what's right
Sharjinka: She has never struck me as being that sort of person.
She's got it in her head and I'm not sure she's willing to drop it.
evile: that is why you need to make it clear what,e xactly, she is
risking by going forward with her choices.
evile: a kid gets hurt? so what, she doesn't get hurt, she doesn't
care. They signed a waiver, that covers her ass. A kid gets hurt and
something of hers is destroyed as a result, she'll care about THAT.
Sharjinka: You may be right there.....
evile: I know I am
Sharjinka: I don't know if....I'm strong enough to threaten like
that.
evile: If you can't, find someone in authority in Drandmir who CAN.
Goofy?
Sharjinka: Maybe. I think I should try and talk to her face to face
about this again and see if I can't reason it out.
evile: let it sit for a few days first.
evile: And be prepared to escalate if/when she won't back down.
Sharjinka: Yep, I will. :-)
Sharjinka: Oh.... :-(

evile: I'm just saying. I think if you can get her to take ego out of
it, you may be able to get her to agree to take it slower.
evile: But most/all of her identity and what makes her like herself
and feel like a likeable person is in her 'way with animals'
evile: So if she feels that is being attacked, that is her core
identity and she will react badly.
Sharjinka: It makes perfect sense.
Sharjinka: I think a few days to think about this and try to come up
with a solution is the best thing to do.
Sharjinka: I want my temper to calm down a bit but I don't really
feel that upset. But sometimes I don't feel upset and if the button
is pushed, I'm surprised to find out that I am. :-D
Sharjinka: Does that make any sense at all?
evile: Yup. It makes perfect sense. Just take as long as you need to
get calm and control your behavior as much as you can. You can't
control feelings, just outward behavior.
Sharjinka: Right! Gotta catch the bus. Bye.
evile: OK. *hugs*