3516email w/Mom

[evile]

Sep. 9, 2005

 

 

Date: Thu, 8 Sep 2005 10:02:48 -0700 (PDT)
From: mom
Subject: Re: Armchair Psychology: [Rubber Pig]
To: me

You are so smart. Not that I would have done anything
differently, but you were right about everything. I
wrote a letter to the CPS caseworker today and
included the borderline mother outline in it. I hope
she sees [Rubber Pig] in it. I hope to hell they get some
help! I'm okay now with the girls being taken out of
the home. It kills me to see Yummy's spirit broken,
and Lyrah sink farther and farther into her quiet
depression. It even hurts me to see Blis given this
"power," which she cannot handle in any way. Mostly,
I think about Sadie. Sweet baby girl. I'm glad that
everyone is good to her now, except [Rubber Pig]. If [Rubber Pig]
died tomorrow, I would not be sad.

I'm going to be busy, as the tree thing is a go and
I'm going to ask the PC commissioners if I can use
their space for children's theatre--Nesbit and LaPurr
ride again!!! Bill wants to continue with SAUL and
some original work called GENESIS, for liturgical
drama at his church. The woman who is writing the
music for the last play I wrote wants to produce it in
the spring!!!

I'm glad to be busy. Money would be nice, but I've
never been able to make much money here. If you can,
look for a cheap ticket for [sister H] to come down there
at Thanksgiving. I think [stepdad/G] will pay for it. [sister H]
is sad right now, as she and JImmy are breaking up for
the last time. All her plans are in disarray. Write
her on email. I don't know where she is going next,
so I don't know where real mail can reach her. G.
and I offered to help her in any way we could, so
we're waiting to hear back from her.

I don't think she has a plan yet, but she wants to be
out of Jimmy's apt. by the end of the month. She has
lots of young friends who can help her move her stuff
to storage or to her next place. I'm hoping she'll
store things and take a room or very small apt for
now, as she will be alone, and I don't want her to
spend all her money just to live. Bloomington can be
very expensive. Amy lives in a small apt. and seems
very happy. Maybe one of those will become available.

I'm working on an altar, too, "Sharper than a
Serpent's Tooth." But I don't feel pressed by it, so
I think I've alrady worked though a lot of my hurt.
Now it's just a matter of gluing it together. Life is
sweet, Mom
==============

Date: Fri, 9 Sep 2005 07:27:55 -0700 (PDT)
From: me
Subject: Re: Armchair Psychology: [Rubber Pig]
To: mom

I'm glad you're staying busy and being creative. It
really helps to have a positive outlet for all the
ugly feelings that get stirred up.

I hope you know that I really HATE being right when it
means people I love get hurt.

I hope the CPS worker finds some useful info to use.

I am sorry as hell for those kids, even Blis. She
can't help it that she's awful; she has had no
positive role models in life, except for you and [aunt L],
briefly. It's really very sad.

You are braver and stronger than me, for being with
them & loving them as much as you could for as long as
their horrible parents would let you. I am sorry for
being weak and walking away, but it's the only thing I
felt I could do.

I sent H. email a week or so ago, she hasn't
written me back. I wish she wasn't so determined to be
independent sometimes; she has people who love her and
would do anything she needed, but she doesn't reach
out as much as she could. I know that feeling; pride
is tough to overcome.

I love you.