https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yZiDfIy7beU

I Know It's True But I'm Sorry To Say

Violent Femmes

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Lyrics

I know it's true but I'm sorry to say
Yesterday's a day away
Nothing I could do to make it stay like that
Ain't that a fact?

I know it's true but I'm sorry to say
I just can't handle things this way
I know it's late but I'd like to stay a while
See you smile

Will you meet me in the morning
With the sun fresh on the dew?
Will you meet me in the afternoon
Made just for me and you?
Will you meet me in the evening
When the nighttime starts to crawl?
Will you meet me in the hall?
Will meet me on the wall?
Will you meet me at all?

One more time, one more time
Shaking up and down my spine
Jump a rope or skip a line or two
What can I do?

One more time, one more time
Color flashing neon sign
Advertising a friend of my distraction
Latest attraction

Oh my body has been punished
Lord, I think I've had enough
Oh my body has been punished
With too much and not enough
Oh my body has been punished
And my mind can no longer bluff
My mind is so unkind
My mind is so unkind
It keeps me crying all the time

I know its true but I'm sorry to say
Yesterday's a day away

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Gordon Gano

Current Mood: melancholy

Borderline and Narcissist personality disorders are two different diseases[1] . They may share some characteristics but they’re not the same. That being said, some people may have both, in the same way as a person may suffer from both asthma and diabetes (comorbid conditions). Borderline Personality Disorder was once viewed as a mental condition that was on the ‘border’ between a treatable neurosis and schizophrenia. Since then, with additional study, BPD has been classified as a mental health diagnosis in its own right.

These are 9 common traits of Borderline Personality Disorder:

Fear of abandonment.
Unstable relationships.
Unclear or shifting self-image.
Impulsive, self-destructive behaviors.
Self-harm.
Extreme emotional swings.
Chronic feelings of emptiness.
Explosive anger.
Feeling suspicious or out of touch with reality

Compare and contrast with the 9 common traits of Narcissistic Personality Disorder:

Grandiosity
Excessive need for admiration
Superficial and exploitative relationships
Lack of empathy
Identity disturbance
Difficulty with attachment and dependency
Chronic feelings of emptiness and boredom
Vulnerability to life transitions
Narcissistic personality disorder is also a significant risk factor for suicide attempts/self harm.

From the outside looking in, it would be hard to tell if a person was behaving in a certain way because they were a narcissist or a borderline. And, honestly, this ‘analysis paralysis’ can become a way of life for their victims—a manifestation of a Trauma Bond[2], a way of staying hooked in to the drama and chaos of the disordered person. At some point, the victim, friend, or family member of the disordered person needs to recognize that, whatever the reasons for the behavior, they don’t deserve to be treated that way and they don’t need to tolerate toxic behavior.

From the list of traits, we can see that similar things threaten both the Narcissist and the Borderline: loss of attention from others, loss of their public reputation/facade, and normal life transitions (especially aging, but also things like divorce, loss of a job or position—if they derived their identity and sense of special importance from being an employee at a well known place of business, or a volunteer for a respected church, social organization, or charity, etc.)

The collapse you refer to could come from losing a target/victim when that person finally gets out of the ‘analysis paralysis,’ it could come from loss of a job, being exposed within their community as a fake or a fraud, other legal or moral consequences of their behavior that are made public, or the breakdown of physical health and beauty that comes with self-indulgent habits. BPD and NPD are known to self soothe and seek excitement through unhealthy behavior, which can include over-indulging in use of drugs, alcohol, food, and sex. These excesses can lead to poor health, obesity, and diseases which make them less appealing and make it harder to obtain the attention and affection they crave from others.

The final collapse comes, in my opinion, when their bodies and minds are finally too broken down from all of their self-indulgent and self-destructive behavior for them to attract any further supply. Family members become exhausted from caring for them, rescuing them, bailing them out, and many will either move away or simply ignore the narcissist/borderline’s increasingly bizarre behavior. It’s ironic and sad that at the time in life when an older person really does need extra care, they have exhausted all their sources and no one they know can or will provide that care. They may attempt and succeed at suicide during such a collapse, or they may end up in a publicly funded care facility with no one who cares about them.

There’s a song by Nick Cave “Do you love me, part 2[3] ” that I feel sums up the bleak and empty feelings at the end of the narcissist or borderline’s existence. The lyrics hint of an abuse in childhood that may have traumatized the song’s narrator into becoming the empty BPD/Borderline monster. For me, it really encapuslates the whole thing.

You can be free of the NPD/BPD by choosing to live your own life and not bothering to watch the predictable and really very sad end of theirs. Some may call it Karma; that’s not my spiritual path or culture so I really couldn’t say, but it does seem that their lives end in them being in as much pain as they’ve inflicted on others.

Footnotes

[1]

Borderline and Narcissistic Personality Disorder Differences

[2]

Trauma bonding: Definition, examples, signs, and recovery

[3]

Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds - Do You Love Me? Pt. 2 Lyrics | SongMeanings

========================

Posts tagged 'quora' were originally my answers to peoples' questions on quora.com.

They were monetized but I am giving them away for free here.

If you feel inclined to support my writing, here's my paypal

And if you prefer to pay it forward, I recommend Safe Place as an excellent place to support.

Current Music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zH9qPvpElvg

Double Dare

I dare you, to be real
To touch a flickering flame
The pangs of dark delight
Don't cower in night fright

Don't back away just yet
From destinations set
I dare you to be proud
To dare to shout aloud
For convictions that you feel
Like sound from bells to peal
I dare you to speak of your despise
For bureaucracy, hypocracy- all liars

I dare
I dare
I dare- you- you

Current Mood: hopeful
Current Music: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OUDjhyrjDes

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qnk1vlS9G5w

Closer To Free
Bodeans

Yeah
Everybody wants to live how they wanna live and
Everybody wants to love how they wanna love and
Everybody wants to be closer to free
And yeah yeah yeah
Everybody wants respect
Just a little bit
And everybody needs a chance once in a while
Everybody wants to be closer to free
And yeah yeah yeah
Everybody one everybody two everybody free
Everybody needs to touch ya know now and then and
Everybody wants a good good friend
Everybody wants to be closer to free
Alright
I said everybody one everybody two everybody free!
Everybody wants to live how they wanna live and everybody
Wants to love how they wanna love
And everybody wants to be closer to free
Yeah closer to free
Yeah closer to free
Closer to free
And yeah and yeah yeah

Current Mood: hopeful

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Tuec_VTpvs

Brilliant Mistake
by Elvis Costello

He thought he was the King of America
Where they pour Coca Cola just like vintage wine
Now I try hard not to become hysterical
But I'm not sure if I am laughing or crying
I wish that I could push a button
And talk in the past and not the present tense
And watch this hurtin' feeling disappear
Like it was common sense
It was a fine idea at the time
Now it's a brilliant mistake
She said that she was working for the ABC News
It was as much of the alphabet as she knew how to use
Her perfume was unspeakable
It lingered in the air
Like her artificial laughter
Her mementos of affairs
"Oh" I said "I see you know him"
"Isn't that very fortunate for you"
And she showed me his calling card
He came third or fourth and there were more than one or two
He was a fine idea at the time
Now he's a brilliant mistake

He thought he was the King of America
But it was just a boulevard of broken dreams
A trick they do with mirrors and with chemicals
The words of love in whispers
And the acts of love in screams
I wish that I could push a button
And talk in the past and not the present tense
And watch this lovin' feeling disappear
Like it was common sense
I was a fine idea at the time
Now I'm a brilliant mistake

Current Mood: calm
Current Location: home.

take a look at me tell me what do you see
you dont have to love me but am not your enemy
and am not amused by your verbal abuse
you think you are clever what a sorry excuse
playing with the minds of people dangerous games they play
man if you are not careful they lead you astray
protect your soul by any means necessary
take nothing for granted
you may be sorry ooohhh
one life you've got to live
come on lets us live it right
if you're in bed with the devil
then you have made your choice
because

Chorus
we've been battered and bruise (Rept 1)
we still nursing wounds
battered and bruised still nursing my wounds
battered and bruised yea still nursing my wounds
battered and bruised yeah still nursing wounds

Verse 2
we face all form of human segregation
who used to ask me where i am from
they brought us here in shackles and chain
and throughout the centuries its nothing but pain

Rept chorus x2
rept verse 1

Current Mood: cheerful
Current Location: home.
Current Music: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GpcNYXmeHgs

Talk of yesterday and
She will show her
Brothers photographed
In callous clothes.
Say tomorrow and
She'll say come find me
On a beach, and there will no moon.
But say today, and she will kiss your face
And maybe forget.

Talk of yesterday like bargain shoe strings
She will kick the car and find her friends.
Say tomorrow and then
She'll describe some old communion cups
And someone's coat.
But say today and she may look your way
And lead you home

Current Location: home
Current Music: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SpR0ZJYvlVw

Our Little Angel
=Elvis Costello

This is the place where I made my best mistakes
This is the place even angels don't understand
I've seen the disappointment in her face
And the collection of engagement rings on her right hand
She sits alone apart from the crowd
In a white dress she wears like a question mark
Friends speak of her fondly
Enemies just think out loud
You think you're man enough to please her
And you're fool enough to start
You're not going to do a thing to our little angel
There's nothing you're thinking tonight that tomorrow won't change
Now the cabaret is frozen and the laughter comes in cans
And the lonely hearts club clientele don't know what to do with their hands
You think that you'll be sweet to her but everybody knows
That you're the marshmallow valentine that got stuck on her clothes
But you're not going to do a thing to our little angel
There's nothing you're thinking tonight that tomorrow won't change

So you mix your drinks and words
You make bad jokes you make bad time
The floors are there to walk over
The walls are there to climb
You swear that you'll never go back again once you're inside
You're never the bridegroom she's always the bride
And you're not going to do a thing to our little angel
There's nothing you're thinking tonight that tomorrow won't change

You'll come in a sweetheart and you'll go out a stranger
Well you try to love her but she's so contrary
Like a chainsaw running through a dictionary
So get your mind off the sweet behind of our little angel
You're not going to do a thing
You're not going to do a thing
You're not going to do a thing to our little angel

Current Mood: tired
Current Location: home & off to bed.

This came on the radio as I was driving home tonight.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fnHHUWs4CgU

Current Mood: sick
Current Location: home.

I told you I was poison, Baby. by Eekymagpie on Polyvore.com

"I never promised you anything,
somehow I'm the bad guy in the end.
You wanted of me,
I'm not gonna give you anything,
I'm no good anyway.

I passed my expiration date,
if you look at the ingredients you'll find
you're allergic to me."

Current Mood: artistic
Current Location: home.
Current Music: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DTliZOtp73A

Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day
You fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way
Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town
Waiting for someone or something to show you the way

Tired of lying in the sunshine
Staying home to watch the rain
And you are young and life is long
And there is time to kill today
And then one day you find
Ten years have got behind you
No one told you when to run
You missed the starting gun

And you run, and you run to catch up with the sun, but it's sinking
Racing around to come up behind you again
The sun is the same in a relative way, but you're older
Shorter of breath and one day closer to death

Every year is getting shorter
Never seem to find the time
Plans that either come to nought
Or half a page of scribbled lines
Hanging on in quiet desparation is the English way
The time is gone
The song is over
Thought I'd something more to say

Home, home again
I like to be here when I can
When I come home cold and tired
It's good to warm my bones beside the fire
Far away across the field
The tolling of the iron bell
Calls the faithful to their knees
To hear the softly spoken magic spells

--Pink Floyd, "time"

Current Mood: melancholy
Current Location: home.

I recently heard again the Billy Joel song "And so it goes"...a lot of people read sadness into the lyrics, but to me, it's really a song about letting yourself be completely vulnerable to the person you love. Because that's the only way love can really work. Scary as hell. Totally worth it. Sometimes really, really effin' hard.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FHO6a2H-pqY

In every heart there is a room
A sanctuary safe and strong
To heal the wounds from lovers past
Until a new one comes along

I spoke to you in cautious tones
You answered me with no pretense
And still I feel I said too much
My silence is my self defense

And every time I've held a rose
It seems I only felt the thorns
And so it goes, and so it goes
And so will you soon I suppose

But if my silence made you leave
Then that would be my worst mistake
So I will share this room with you
And you can have this heart to break

And this is why my eyes are closed
It's just as well for all I've seen
And so it goes, and so it goes
And you're the only one who knows

So I would choose to be with you
That's if the choice were mine to make
But you can make decisions too
And you can have this heart to break

And so it goes, and so it goes
And you're the only one who knows

Current Mood: loved
Current Location: home.
Current Music: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FHO6a2H-pqY

Current Mood: calm

Well I wish real hard when I close my eyes

If I could change the world--would I even try

If I found a reason to regain my pride

Oh if I try to believe--try to believe

[CHORUS]

It's so hard to find an answer

It's so hard to stand alone

It's so hard to find a feeling

That was buried long ago

It's so hard to trust another

When it's easier to hide

It's so hard to believe

Unless we try baby try

If I had a dream and it got away

If I found the words would I know what to say

If I had a chance to be someone else

Yeah if I try to believe, try to believe

[CHORUS]

If I found a door I've never been through

Would I have the courage to go in without you

(Try To Believe)

And if time runs short would I recognize

The things I couldn't see

If I try to believe--try to believe

If we listen to the voices that were silent for so long

If you thought they went away, well you couldn't be more wrong

If I tell you there is something that we've lost but can retrieve

If I tell you there is hope, if we try to believe

You remember there's a dream that we long since put aside

With the toys that we discarded

And the tears we never cried

We could have had it once again, if we try baby try

Writer : STEVE BARTEK, DANNY ELFMAN

Copyright : Lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group

Current Mood: contemplative
Current Location: home.

Current Mood: ecstatic
Current Location: home, but I've got a date at Midnight with Nosferatu!

The words you stole won't save your soul
They'll only buy you time.

http://www.joshwoodward.com/song/DontCloseYourEyes

Current Mood: thoughtful

And, seriously, it could be my theme song.

As I was running errands around town today (last minute Halloween preps are the best! NOT!), this song came on the radio.
( Read more... )

HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ALL MY ~~FRIENDS~~ FREAKS!!!

Current Mood: freaky!
Current Location: home

I have been peripherally aware of Great Big Sea for a while now, but for whatever reasons I hadn't listened to them a whole lot until just before we left for our cruise.

Imagine my surprise & delight when I came home to find that two CDs had come in the mail while we were gone! Rant And Roar, which is a great upbeat singable & danceable album & Fortunes Favour, which shows a more lyrical & thoughtful side of the band. Thank you,

thax!

They are also totally cute guys and make awesome videos, too! Check it out:

When I'm Up (I can't get down)--a great 'start the day' song.

Mari-Mac--a great take on a traditional song I've heard a million times at renfaire by a million bands :)

End of the world--the best cover I've heard lately!

{edit} PS: they have also played on the Ships & Dip cruises. Now THAT sounds like a good time. (yes, "My name is E, and I'm a cruise-aholic.")

Current Mood: pleased
Current Location: work
Current Music: Goin Up, Great Big Sea

Yesterday after work, I stopped by the store for salad stuff for dinner, and then I went home and vented to

fractallia &

mrhuggles about my latest fuck-up with my other brother. I never can say or do the right thing with him and his wife. I don't even know how she got into this last one. I emailed him to let him know about A's hearing, and he came back with 'my wife's legal advice is bla bla bla.' Which annoyed me. I didn't want legal advice, and certainly not from her. This wasn't even ABOUT his wife. Why did he have to go and make it about her?! And why did I follow him there? goddamn. I fell right into it. fuuuuuuck. argh. stupid! stupid!

ANYWAY, once I got bitching about that out of my system, I went over to

northwall's and we had supper and looked at A's divorce papers. Everything seems pretty straightforward. Hopefully this won't be as much of a hassle as I thought. I told her about the Big Fake Wedding and the Paulie the Dog Saga. I probably overwhelmed her with the crazy fucked up dysfunction that is my male-sibling relationships. Then we hennaed her hair and wached "Mean Girls." I liked it, and the message was simple and timely. I don't get a do-over for yesterday, but I do have an all new today to work with.

When I came home, Fractallia & Huggles were gone to a party and every light in the house was on and the dog was out. :| So that kinda sucked. But then I went thru my mail and found a special offer for a subscription to Essence magazine that basically made me laugh myself to sleep. It started with "We know you." and went on to talk about how I needed their magazine's make-up tips for how to bring out the best in my beautiful brown skin....Well, Essence Magazine, I don't think you know me at all...but thanks for the laffs, and I'd be tempted to subscribe if I was the sort to read magazines regularly, but I'm not. I hate to waste the paper.

Fractallia & Huggles came in sometime after I'd gone to bed, woke me up with talking & laughing and whatnot. dammit. I usually sleep right thru stuff like that, so it's not usually an issue, but I think I sleep lighter when I'm sleeping alone.

So I'm at work putting in some OT, tired & grouchy. It's hard to be up with the night owls and then have to get up early to flap with the turkeys.

Oh. I left my phone at Northwall's place, I think.

I liked the "Mean Girls" soundtrack. Especially this song.( Read more... )

Current Mood: indescribable
Current Location: work

Do You Love Me? (part 2) - Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds

Onward! And Onward! And Onward I go
Where no man before could be bothered to go
Till the soles of my shoes are shot full of holes
And it's all downhill with a bullet
This ramblin' and rovin' has taken it's course
I'm grazing with the dinosaurs and the dear old horses
And the city streets crack and a great hole forces
Me down with my soapbox, my pulpit
The theatre ceiling is silver star spangled
And the coins in my pocket go jingle-jangle

Do you love me?
Do you love me?
Do you love me?
Do you love me?

There's a man in the theatre with girlish eyes
Who's holding my childhood to ransom
On the screen there's a death,
there's a rustle of cloth
And a sickly voice calling me handsome
There's a man in the theatre with sly girlish eyes
On the screen there's an ape, a gorilla
There's a groan, there's a cough, there's a rustle of cloth
And a voice that stinks of death and vanilla
This is a secret, mauled and mangled
And the coins in my pocket go jingle-jangle

Do you love me?
Do you love me?
Do you love me?
Do you love me?

The walls in the ceiling are painted in blood
The lights go down, the red curtains come apart
The room is full of smoke and dialogue I know by heart
And the coins in my pocket jingle-jangle
As the great screen crackled and popped
And the clock of my boyhood was wound down and stopped
And my handsome little body oddly propped
And my trousers ride down to my ankles
Yes, onward! And upward!
And I'm off to find love
Do you love me? If you do, I'm thankful

Do you love me?
Do you love me?
Do you love me?
Do you love me?

This city is an ogre squatting by the river
It gives life but it takes it away, my youth
There comes a time when you just cannot deliver
This is a fact. This is a stone cold truth.
Do you love me? I love you, handsome.
But do you love me? Yes, I love you, you are handsome
Amongst the cogs and the wires, my youth
Vanilla breath and handsome apes with girlish eyes
Dreams that roam between truth and untruth
Memories that become monstrous lies
So onward! And Onward! And Onward I go!
Onward! And Upward! And I'm off to find love
With blue-black bracelets on my wrists and my ankles
And the coins in my pocket go jingle-jangle

Do you love me?
Do you love me?
Do you love me?
Do you love me?

Current Mood: melancholy

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evile

Entries tagged with lyrics

song in my head this morning - "My mind is so unkind...."

Main Results

Quora: Why is the bpd narcissist having a collapse and are they going to be found in a ditch soon?

Double Dare, Bauhaus/Peter Murphy

Heard this on the radio today....listened to the words...cried a little.

This song came to mind tonight.

Lyrics: Battered & Bruised, Buju Banton

Iron & Wine - Communion Cups And Someone's Coat

Our Little Angel

Here's a song I never want to hear again...

No Good

Home, Home again. I like to be here. When I can.

Lyrics: And So It Goes

Thank You

Try To Believe

Halloween!

Josh Woodward, "Don't Close Your Eyes"

OMG, I totally forgot about this song

mmmusic!

Friday

2 yrs ago...