3718icq w/A

[evile]

Oct. 28, 2005

 

 

evile: tGIF, baybeeeee! Phone duty from HECK
SkyeDS: nods. tedious stuff today.
evile: I had a caller, nicest guy in the world, english NOT his first
language, we both got very frustrated.
evile: Oh well, less than 1.5 hours and I'm gone for the weekend.
eyes on the prize :)
SkyeDS: nodnods
evile: Enjoyed a greatly successful evening wearing my new jeans, new
pink lacey froufrou underthings (and getting out of them) :)
evile: I mailed [G/stepdad/sineater's dad]'s card & present yesterday, emailed him this
a.m. and hopefully will find/make time to call him later today.
SkyeDS: nod. I'm going to remind sineater, he might not need it, but
better safe than sorry. He's had a surfeit on his mind lately
evile: *nod*
evile: That kind of stuff is far more important to him than [G/stepdad/sineater's dad] lets
on.
SkyeDS: I know he's long since had [G/stepdad/sineater's dad]'s presents and stuff, I think
it's just a matter of making sure they get to him
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: I hope Roboho doesn't take issue with my answer to her
question in my LJ
evile: ?
SkyeDS: she asked me how do you convince a horse you're boss
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: and I explained that you don't, but what you do instead, and
why
evile: I don't think she's used to dealing with creating win-win
situations. Her own personal life seems to be a series of contests of
will, which she MUST win at all costs.
SkyeDS: well, she'll have to get over that if she really wants to ride
evile: *shrug* I've long since quit bothering with her.
evile: Today has been a lovely day of boundary testing. kaleon tried
to drag me into some drama, Mom tried to talk to me about the Pig's
youngest child...ugh.
evile: I asked kaleon to unfriend me in LJ. I can't stop him from
reading me, but I've never friended him back, and I can certainly
limit my public posts to non-drama-creating items.
SkyeDS: kaleon doesn't seem to understand the words "move on." Which
I have, but anyway.
SkyeDS: what is with your Mom and [the rubber pig]? I thought she was done :(
evile: Mom was telling me about the baby,and seeing pictures, and bla
bla, and I just can't take that. I can't. I'm sorry, it's not the
kids fault, but I can't
SkyeDS: why is it that common sense is so f'ing uncommon?
SkyeDS: why would you encourage yourself to become attached when
there's nothing you can do?
evile: exactly.
evile: Why, yes, Mom, I'd love to put my hand in the blender and let
[the rubber pig] turn it on.
SkyeDS: as for the other...what did he think was going to happen when
he is constantly claiming sineater's place (as my husband) and then
sineater's artwork as his own?
SkyeDS: although I find it amusing truly that sineater got more upset at
the artwork than the other ROFL, I know, I'm easily amused
evile: I don't have a clue about any of that...I really actually
don't.
SkyeDS: I wish folks (kaleon, your Mom, everyone else) would just
*think* every now and again
SkyeDS: like, with the logical parts of their brains, and not
whatever other part of their anatomies theyy're thinking with (or not)
evile: Well, and with Mom, why set me up? Tell me about [brother A]'s latest
fuck up trainwreck bullshit and I can't help but feel angry and
negative...she has told me she doesn't care to hear my negative
opinions, so why does she bring him and his life up?
evile: I don't have anything nice to say, I don't want to say
anything at all. But if that's all you'll fucking talk about, what am
I supposed to do?
SkyeDS: nods (been there done that many tshirts). I have no answer,
only empathy and sympathy.
evile: kaleon sent me this faux-sympathetic thing because of
the 'happy birthday' I posted to [brother A] on the 26th. He assumed it was
for sineater.
SkyeDS: because, you know, "A" ... as in "Brother A" stands for sineater
SkyeDS: sineater starts with the letter A
evile: *shrug* he doesn't know me, or anything about me, and just
keeps on making assumptions and trying to get me in shit with y'all.
And I am working VERY hard on staying OUT of shit with y'all.
SkyeDS: I figured he thought all that abuse stuff you posted for [brother A]
was really for sineater
SkyeDS: he didn't start with the "abuse" and "torture" language until
after that
SkyeDS: pointyheaded, I believe you called it ;)
evile: If y'all are going to be pissed off at me, I'd just as soon
have you pissed off at me for something I actually did or said, not
some ASSholes ASSumptions.
SkyeDS: I can't control sineater's emotions. He can't control them
either for that matter. But you need not worry about me.
evile: *nod*
evile: I shouldn't let it get to me.Some people just have an
exagerated sense of their own importance...I dont' have the time or
energy for the grandiose machinations people are attributing to me.
SkyeDS: I know he feels that any relationship with you and kaleon is
like him still being cordial with Xtal.
SkyeDS: I told him, well, if you feel that way, maybe you should say
that, I'm s ure she'd understand that.
SkyeDS: something tells me he didn't, did he
evile: what 'relationship' is all i fuckin wanna know.
SkyeDS: kaleon has been bandying about that you hug him, call him
honey, etc
evile: I can't control who has me friended on LJ or, to some extent,
who posts in my LJ
evile: I haven't seen him since he lived in Austin. When we were
friends, I certainly did, but that's been...what? 2-3 years?
SkyeDS: I think he's trying to get at me
SkyeDS: but all he's succeeding in doing is pissing sineater off
SkyeDS: not a bright boy <Shrugs>
evile: well, whatever. If sineater wants to give kaleon that kind of
power, that's sad, but his business.
SkyeDS: well, I don't understand why he's still showboating to get my
attention.
evile: Likewise, if he'd rather believe a stranger than family, it's
hurtful as hell, but I suppose I deserve it. No matter how much I
behave now, it'll never erase the famous Scorpio grudge.
SkyeDS: he isn't going to get it.
SkyeDS: I don't read his journal, I don't care if he reads mine, I
know he does (counters tell you that kind of t hing and he isn't
smart enough to hide his isp)
SkyeDS: I'm not going to friends only my LJ because he's reading it
SkyeDS: and i'm not going to censor what I say so t hat he doesn't
take it personally
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: I don't personally choose to react the way sineater has. But
then, my place hasn't been usurped nor my talent laid claim to, and I
understand why sineater feels and does what he does.
SkyeDS: that's the way he's made.
SkyeDS: it isn't the way I'm made.
SkyeDS: and kaleon's cruisin for a bruisin if he doesn't stop
<shrugs> but then he knows that, he's been here and done this
before.
evile: *shrug* and either of them laying any of this at my doorstep
is giving me much power and credit that is not mine. I could give a
shit, really.
SkyeDS: peckerlength competition ya think?
SkyeDS: I think, when sineater gets to t he point of hunting him down to
kill him, maybe I won't stop him this time. That would certainly be
one effective way (if not my preferred way) of ending the drama.
evile: they can wag their weiners all they want at one another, just
leave me the hell out of it. I have this thing called a life and
these cool folks called friends, and I don't care to give my time or
energy to that kind of nonsense.
evile: As I told sineater, if you have the time/energy to dig so hard for
stuff to fight with people about, you must be doing very well and
I'm happy for that, even if I'm sad that you're mad at me.
SkyeDS: I told him if he wanted you to understand where he was coming
from (silly me, I get hung up on communicating doncha know) that he
should tell you what he told me about it being like the situation
with Xtal.
evile: *shrug* I'm sorry he feels that way, but as you say, it's for
him to discuss with me.
SkyeDS: I should know by now to keep my gemini communicating self out
of shit
evile: being misunderstood and/or blamed for things that aren't mine,
make me want to overcommunicate. Be mad at me, fine, but do it for
the right reasons.
SkyeDS: please don't take this personally or intended as offense, it
is just my observation that the Stephan family does not appreciate
communication.
evile: *shrug*
evile: I'm not a Stephan, why would that offend me?
SkyeDS: I just figured it would probably come across the wrong way
SkyeDS: I do that often ya know
SkyeDS: ok, I'm sorry, but I'm still laughing about Brother A = sineater,
and sineater's birthday isn't till next Friday (what a dumbshit) ROFL
evile: You're entitled to your opinion, and I think you're right.
It's pretty hard to communicate with a person who is standing there
with their hands over their ears screaming 'la la la' which is pretty
much how I feel whenever I try to deal w/sineater
evile: I still love him, would do anything for him, but for my sanity
and happiness, I can't be involved in his life or these needless
fights he seems to pick with people
SkyeDS: I suppose it would be feeding the trolls to post how funny I
think that is in my LJ
SkyeDS: I know, bad Skye, bad. I won't do it, but it's funny to
think about it all the same.
SkyeDS: "oops! did I say that outloud? was that my outside voice?
I'm s orry, I have Tourettes, you must forgive me." ;P ROFL
evile: I told kaleon he needed to not assume things, and then he
decided to throw ancient history in my face (because there is no
CURRENT history, do you understand) and at that point I said, "can
you please unfriend me?"
SkyeDS: he has diarrhea of the mouth disease...otherwise known as
open mouth before engaging brain disease
SkyeDS: the w hole reason sineater thinks that there is current
relationship is because kaleon told him so
evile: whatever.
evile: You can't prove a negative, and I'm not going to give him any
more ammo if I can help it.
SkyeDS: nevermind that kaleon is not a trustworthy source of
information, as I thought was well established, but what do I know
SkyeDS: I need one of those trendy black tshirts with white writing
that says I don't know, and I didn't do it
SkyeDS: I told you about running into a complete stranger who is part
of Rockdale's Roping Circle that told me that everyone in t he entire
Circle knows I'm a bitch for a proven fact even though none of them
have ever met me?
evile: that's unfortunate.
SkyeDS: so I guess I can't wear my desired "not a bitch, The Bitch,
and that's MS BITCH to you" tshirt
evile: if that's not a label you wish people to apply to you, you
probably shouldn't apply it to yoruself, no.
SkyeDS: the whole thing is just too fucking funny (because I'd rather
laugh than cry or be angry about it)
SkyeDS: you talk about [brother A] being abused, kaleon assumes you're
talking about sineater, and of course if sineater is abused, t hen kaleon was
abused, and then he tells Chris Loy that I'm torturing sineater
SkyeDS: and she believes an ex that I left what, three times? I lost
count
evile: *shrug* and all of this is my fault, HOW?
SkyeDS: and she says she wants to believe it isn't true but does she
ask sineater, who would know better than kaleon?
SkyeDS: of course not
evile: So people need to leave me the hell out of it.
SkyeDS: I've already told him that because these people choose to
make you a hub doesn't mean you chose to be a hub willingly
evile: I am nice to chrisloy becuase we have friends and groups in
common.
evile: kaleon has me friended on his LJ, I have ZERO control over who
friends me. there are complete strangers I've never met who have
friended me. Who knows why?
SkyeDS: this is turning into that game in school where you whisper
one thing into someone's ear, it goes around the classroom and is
something completely different at the end.
evile: Well, I want out of it. I don't have the time,energy, or
inclination to devote to participating in The Crazy.
evile: If sineater feels he has the time and energy to give to those
people and fighting and fussing, that's fine. But I don't.
SkyeDS: I think he was doing a good job (for him anyway) of ignoring
it, until the artwork thing.
evile: I honestly can't tell you the last time I talked to either
CHris or kaleon, Or Kili, for that matter
SkyeDS: But that's just too close to his heart.
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: every time he gets depressed, he goes to ritually sacrifice
his art, and I have to stop him (because that of course is ridiculous)
evile: [brother A] used to do the same
SkyeDS: that's like me saying, I'm depressed, so I'm going to burn
all my music books and my piano in a big bonfire and then kill my
children
evile: preaching to the choir.
SkyeDS: I am happy to see that he is embracing his art again ( you
should see the leatherwork he did recently, and I think you saw the
dragon he did for faire)
evile: nope.
SkyeDS: he painted a dragon on 24 x 36 cardboard that hobby lobby
puts behind its posters
SkyeDS: and it was awesome
evile: cool.
SkyeDS: anyway, I'm glad he's embracing his art again, I just think
that part of that is that kaleon went too far this time
SkyeDS: and I'm happy to see the good, even if the bad comes with it.
evile: *nod* It's better to channel your energy into creative things
SkyeDS: and if *I* were anything like what I'm reputed to be, I would
be pissed by now that sineater got pissed over artwork and not over being
usurped as my husband ROFL
evile: One is probably more provable than the other, objectively and
in court and such.
SkyeDS: some women would be pissed that a man's artwork was seemingly
more important to him than his wife.
SkyeDS: and I am said to be one of those women LOL
evile: I grew up in a household where Art was always more important
than people/relationships, so that just doesn't seem wierd to me, at
all.
SkyeDS: one of these days, the lies are going to come back to haunt
him.
SkyeDS: sooner or later
SkyeDS: probably sooner as egregious as he's been about it
SkyeDS: and anyone who on the strength of what he says online
believes that we were married, that I abused him (particularly after
he abused me to the point of having sineater and sonar0m call the cops on
him more than once)
evile: I just wish he'd get therapy, get help, be happy with his own
life and achievements, and not have to waste so much time and energy
on fighting to make himself feel worthwhile.
SkyeDS: or any other silly thing he says, is going to get what they
deserve for their stupidity too
SkyeDS: I don't understand why there are so many women who believe
him a nd are seemingly turned on by this, but whatever.
evile: As entertainingly trainwrecky as it is, I'm not reading his
LJs anymore, even if he keeps me friended.
evile: And no matter how sad and pathetic he is, I won't chip in with
any words of encouragement.
SkyeDS: I will be the first to admit that it was very hard to not
look at his LJ when I was bored.
SkyeDS: because it IS ROFL funny
SkyeDS: but it is just, I don't know what words to use, because sad,
pathetic, whatever, just aren't enough, but yeah, those things, that
he reads my LJ and thinks I read his, or that I still give a damn.
evile: I have better things to do with myself. I'm sorry as hell if
sineater is upset, because I love him...but I am not going to be in the
middle of any of that silly stuff.
SkyeDS: I understand now that he thinks the readings I do for people
who wish to remain anonymous are all about him
SkyeDS: give it long enough, sineater will find something else to be
upset about, a nd forget about all this.
SkyeDS: that's what usually happens anyway
evile: yup
evile: and, honesty, the silent treatment from sineater is not all that
different from 'normal relationship with sineater'...so *shrug*
SkyeDS: it woudl be very bad and troll feeding to poke public fun of
someone who thinks that sineater starts with A
SkyeDS: very bad
SkyeDS: back AWAY from the keyboard.
SkyeDS: I can resist anything! (but temptation :P)
evile: I think you have better things to do with your time. Nose
hairs or toenails to attend to, perhaps?
SkyeDS: I know.
SkyeDS: no kitty on the keys, no no no
evile: It takes a longer for satisfaction for being a mature
responsible adult to set in, than it does to indulge in childish
spitefulness, but in the long run, it *does* feel better. I know.
I've been there, done that.
SkyeDS: eventually I'll get some other irresponsible urge and forget
about this one
SkyeDS: although I can be very singleminded for an easily distracted
double gem. But then I do have as much earth in my chart as air,
almost as many of my signs are in Taurus as in anything else.
SkyeDS: what aggravates me is, I thought that's part of what my LJ
was for, indulging myself in things I shouldn't express elsewhere.
SkyeDS: I hate not being able to say what I want when I want because
somebody else is being pointyheaded.
evile: yeah, but then friends lock it, silly-head.
evile: or mark it 'private'
SkyeDS: <pouts> but that's no fun <slides outside of arm's length>
evile: Your friends are the only ones who will laugh and appreciate
it ANYWAY, so why not friends lock stuff that will only be drama-
fodder if left public, is the way I see it.
SkyeDS: no wonder people get mad at me for being the voice of reason
all the time
SkyeDS: :P
evile: And of course I friends lock everythign about 'where I'm going
and what I'm doing'
SkyeDS: reason sucks :P
evile: most of the time, yup
evile: well, I'm going to run past the girls room before I clock out,
so I'm gone. Y'all have a good weekend.
SkyeDS: I know that this is not a laughing matter to you or sineater, and
I'm not trying to be insensitive
SkyeDS: I just think the whole thing is funny
SkyeDS: wind to your wings :)
evile: I'm sure it'll be funny to me after a while too. :) see ya!