evile

evile: howdy :) I went to the library at lunchtime. Nice walk. humid
out, though.
SkyeDS: how do. nods.
SkyeDS: hoping for more rain myself - need it. rain = better than
humidity.
evile: yes
evile: could probably do without any rain on poly dinner tonight but
other than that it would be great.
SkyeDS: what it does on the ranch is not usually what it does in town
and vice versa.
evile: yup
SkyeDS: obviously I want the rain on the ranch, not on the pavement
evile: yup
SkyeDS: major project - brb slow
evile: ok
SkyeDS: back kinda sorta but still slow
evile: OK :) It's pretty dull around here, anyhoo.
SkyeDS: look around LJ long enough and I'm sure you will find
entertaining drama - if there isn't another IM or email source of it,
lol
evile: I'm enjoying the drama free life at the moment, actually
evile: I got 'punk' on that quiz. go fig.
SkyeDS: I wasn't really in love with any of the answers offered
<shrug> but I did get called Elvira in school
evile: there were lots of qs that I didn't really like any of the
answers, this is true. OH well.
SkyeDS: at least it distinguishes between the connoisseur of
literature a nd music goth from the uber angsty has no clue what the
word means Goth.
evile: that amused me. Every personality type EXCEPT punk on that
quiz got this major dissertation on the complexities of that type.
SkyeDS: maybe the author doesn't know enough about the subject to
hold forth on it
evile: Or maybe punk needs no explanation or justification or
shading, it's just ya know...PUNK :p
SkyeDS: could be
SkyeDS: you know how I feel about words mean things and using
language with exactitude
SkyeDS: unlike people who use the word "polygamy" for example when
they mean polyamory or polyfidelity
SkyeDS: I'm not a polygamist, that's illegal.
evile: I was 'new wave' if anything, but that whole sub-genre seems
to have been forgotten by history
SkyeDS: or the word "bisexual" when they've been in a threesome with
someone of their same gender but had no sexual contact with that
person whatsoever, and never have had sex with someone of their same
gender ever for that matter.
SkyeDS: and then there's the whole business about abusers calling
other people abusers and using the word ex-wife when they should be
saying ex-girlfriend, but ya know.
evile: *shrug* I used to have problems with people who had no sexual
experience with the member of the same sex, hell, barely even FRIENDS
of the same sex, saying they were bi.
SkyeDS: not to mention throwing around the word "torture" and the
word "Nazi"
evile: But I figure if you can be het without actually having het
sex, why not bi or gay?
SkyeDS: that's true.
SkyeDS: but the last usage I'm thinking of was made to appear to be
in the context of actual practice
evile: oh well. Not my concern what people do with their pink bits,
if it's not with me.
SkyeDS: from a person who has said many times he has no intention of
ever sleeping with another man.
evile: If someone needs attention in chat/irc/mush that badly, just
let 'em babble until they firmly entrench their foot in mouth up to
the fuckin knee, THEN laugh, ya know?
SkyeDS: Let me ask you something.
SkyeDS: if you, yourself, really thought that I was not just abusing
sineater, but "torturing" him, would you n ot have called the cops, t he
army, and everyone else and their grandma and their little dog Toto
too, in?
SkyeDS: you DO know that I"m not [the rubber pig], right?
evile: No, you are not [the rubber pig].
evile: sineater has made it abundantly clear over the years that my
interference in his life & choices is unwelcome.
SkyeDS: you still have not answered whether you truly believe I have
been abusing and torturing him
SkyeDS: his choices and interference have nothing to do with an
opinion, which is what I asked for.
evile: why are you asking me this? Are we dredging up ancient history?
SkyeDS: I'm asking for the only reason I ever ask any question,
because I genuinely want to know.
SkyeDS: and it isn't "past" history, it's right now.
SkyeDS: not what you think I've done in the past, what you think I'm
doing currently.
evile: It has been repeatedly smashed into my head that I don't know
what really goes on between you two and have no right to judge your
relationship.
SkyeDS: we've already established that both of us behaved badly in
the past, abusively. Although I think "torture" is going a little
far, as neither of us are guilty of that (and that's not a term
either of us would use, but other people seem awfully fond of it
lately)
evile: I am not one of the 'other people' so I really don't think any
of this applies to me.
SkyeDS: that's why I'm asking you, I want to know if that's what you
think, or not.
evile: I don't know enough about your current relationship to know,
quite honestly.
SkyeDS: that anyone would call me an "ex wife" to whom I was never
married, and then refer to us as polygamists, isn't worth bothering
over, because that's blatantly ludicrous.
evile: The last couple of times I've seen you, I haven't seen
anything that looks like abuse or torture
SkyeDS: but the "abusive" and "torture" business
SkyeDS: you said not too long ago, lie down with dogs get up with
fleas
SkyeDS: and quite a few people to whom you are close have been
throwing these words around
SkyeDS: and I don't notice anyone correcting them
evile: sineater's LJ reports that he feels 'loved' and 'happy' so I am
going to take him at his word. If he believes that he is loved and
happy, t hat's good enough for me.
SkyeDS: so when you don't say anything one way or the other, "yes she
is" or "no she isn't, and try using words right, why don't you" that
leaves me to ask what your opinion is.
evile: I am close to Sweetie, onyxlynxx, maggiemaepisces, [Cousin B], [aunt L], and [uncle B]. If you are
talking about something Chrisloy or kaleon said or are saying, they're
not saying it to me and I'm not in daily or even weekly contact with
either of them.
evile: Just because someone is on my LJ friends list does not mean I
am 'close'
evile: And I don't know where you're getting any of this, or in what
context, so I really feel like your'e trying to force me into doing
or saying something that will offend you.
SkyeDS: no, what I wanted is quite simple. Do you personally believe
that "torture" is a word that applies to me.
evile: And I am telling you that the most recent times I've seen your
interactions with sineater, I did not see 'torture' or 'abuse'.
SkyeDS: I suppose it depends on how you define torture, but by the
dictionary definition of the word, you have never in any interaction
ever seen either of us torture the other. But be that as it may, you
answered the question, and that's sufficient.
evile: I answered it more than once, actually.
evile: 1) evile: The last couple of times I've seen you, I haven't
seen anything that looks like abuse or torture
2) And I am telling you that the most recent times I've seen your
interactions with sineater, I did not see 'torture' or 'abuse'.
evile: I don't really know how I could have been plainer.
evile: And if you are seeing or hearing any words of recent vintage
to the contrary, I'd appreciate a citation so that I can see them in
context.
evile: As it stands, I'm just kind of floored by the randomness of
your question, wondering what triggered it and why?
SkyeDS: because I do not automatically apply "lie down with dogs, get
up with fleas" - I was not going to make assumptions about what you
think, so I ask you.
evile: I know...but why today, now? Where is this coming from?
SkyeDS: from the current misusage by detractors of the
words "torture", "exwife", "abusive", "polygamy" and "bisexuality"
that are thrown around *lately* about me.
SkyeDS: by people who t hink for I don't know what reason that they
say these things privately and therefore I won't find out about them.
evile: I don't know who has been saying what, or where...but it
wasn't with or to me, so I really don't have a clue why this would be
my fault or my problem
SkyeDS: these things also upset someone else. And as you know, when
he's upset, I have to deal with it.
evile: I'm not seeing or hearing it, whatever it is that is
triggering you today.
SkyeDS: actually, *my* trigger is sineater. And if you want to know what
triggered him, you'd have to ask him.
evile: I have no frame of reference for whatever's got either of you
stirred up right now.
evile: Last time I saw or talked to either of you was at Tablerock,
and y'all were busy, but not upset that I could see.
SkyeDS: I just told you what has me slightly concerned. This isn't
stirred up on my part, believe me.
SkyeDS: if you want to know what's upsetting him, and he's a whole
lot more upset than I am, you'll have to ask.
evile: Well, you know...I'm liking that no drama thing a lot. And
since sineater seems to be pissed at ME for things that I did not say or
do, but people I know casually said or did at some uncertain point in
time...I really don't see much of a need to subject myself to that
nonsense, honestly.
evile: Be mad at me for the sun shining, why not. I am on the earth,
the sun is shining, therefore it must be my fault. I'm not interested
in being beat up and blamed becasue somebody got a sunburn.
evile: I am not upset at you, or at sineater. I love sineater dearly, he's
my family. If he wants me, he knows where to reach me.
evile: I would like to love you, I would like us to be friends, you
have a lot of worthwhile traits, but you don't seem to want that, and
so I respect your distance and do my best to be good company in
whatever capacity you seem to want/allow.
evile: I am doing my best. My best does not, however, mean I am
going to go borrowing trouble or letting people beat up on me for
things I did not do or say, or things I've already apologized for and
tried to make right.
SkyeDS: I think you're not separating me from sineater here.
evile: My friends are my friends. They are not my tools, my puppets,
or ME. They are their own people with their own lives, thoughts, and
feelings.
evile: I don't think sineater is separating me from them, either.
SkyeDS: I asked you said question because I wanted to know the honest
answer without assuming it.
SkyeDS: So I don't see where all this is coming from.
SkyeDS: I wanted an honest answer from the horse's mouth and nowhere
else, and I got it, and I will proceed accordingly.
evile: And it's not fair and I'm not goign to fight with him over
something Chris or kaleon did/said, because I didn't have anything to
do with it,and honestly I don't give enough of a shit about either of
them to take that kind of bulle t on their behalf.
SkyeDS: what passes between you and sineater is not mine to process
until/unless he makes it so.
evile: I still d ont' see why you needed to ask that. I havent' said
or done anything to prompt that kind of question, that I know of.
SkyeDS: well, what you say to me, and what some people say you say to
them, doesn't jive.
SkyeDS: what these people say that you have said to them, about me, I
meant to say
evile: which people, when, in what context? in ancient history, I may
have said something, but ....not lately.
SkyeDS: that shows how convoluted this whole thing is and I just wish
it would go away.
SkyeDS: well, according to one of them, "not lately" was yesterday.
SkyeDS: anyway, I came to you because I believe in asking people
themselves
evile: You are fishing, and I dont' appreciate it.
evile: I didn't talk to anyone yesterday. I was at work and then I
went home and checked on Sweetie and then I went to Krav Maga. So unless
you are saying you talked with Sweetie, [aunt L], [uncle B], [Cousin B], or Father Jim, no.
SkyeDS: this is obviously upsetting you, and that was not my intent.
perhaps best to let it lie?
evile: I just really dont' get why you needed to ask this now,and I
don't believe you are being straightforward with why.
SkyeDS: I have never been anything BUT straightforward
SkyeDS: and don't make me point out that the same cannot be said for
you
SkyeDS: I'm asking to disengage, please.
evile: OK
evile: I really am sorry if sineater is upsetting you....but as I've told
him many times before, it's best to just approach people directly and
talk directly to them, instead of putting people in the middle. I am
sorry if you're upset with me, and even sorrier that it isn't even
for anything I actually did/said. If I'm going to be in trouble, I at
least want the satisfaction of being bad.
SkyeDS: that, actually, is what I was trying to do
SkyeDS: and upset you in the process, which wasn't intentional
SkyeDS: (trying to do = approach you directly)
evile: tell him you dont' want to be in the middle of whatever his
fights are with me, kaleon, chris, whoever.
evile: it's not your job and not your fight, and the peace between
you and I is far too tenuous to strain with such things.
evile: I dont' want to be at odds with you.
evile: I'm sorry that you dont' feel I'm trustworthy.
evile: There probably isn't anything I can say or do to fix that.
SkyeDS: If I wasn't going to give credence to your answer I wouldn't
have asked.
evile: OK
evile: well, time for me to book. Have a good evening. I'm here for
talking.
SkyeDS: wind to your wings :)

Kahlua: Bye!
evile: Oh, I have an hour to go and still need to get 11 thingies
entered so I had to close out a few distractions
Kahlua: We're a distraction? :)
evile: just a little.
evile: Mostly clicking over to see what's new, compulsively, because
unlike iCQ it doesn't blink or anything when new stuff happens in my
TIM telnet window.
Kahlua: Ah, true
evile: I'm almost done :)
evile: ooopsie, pissed off my SIL
Kahlua: Awwwww, that's a shame
Kahlua: UNless she charges, of course.
Kahlua: OLE!
Kahlua: OK, that was mean.
Kahlua: Sorry.
evile: heehee :)
Kahlua: What did you do?
evile: her tarot post last night was amazingly timed so as to almost
be a response to a friends locked post by her ex bf. I pointed out
the coincidence and rather than praise her psychic abilities, I
congratulated her on her effective spy.
Kahlua: Bwahaha
Kahlua: I see your minions are both wide-ranging and accurate in
their spying!
evile: heehee :)
evile: Hopefully he's got the isp tracker up on his LJ so he will at
least know this time that it wasn't me. I want no part of that
nonsense. He has me listed as a friend, so I can read his friends-
only posts, but I don't list him as my friend, and I don't read his
LJ very often at all. Unless she posts something very pointed and
obviously in response to him, and hten I have to go look at the
trainwreck.
evile: Next on Springer: "When Poly Goes Very Very Very WRONG"
Kahlua: LOL
Kahlua: You'd THINK, with all the partners to choose from, that you
could find SOME WAY to be happy without issues.
Kahlua: Man, I'd be happy as a pig in shit. :)
Kahlua: People FIND ways to make things difficult
evile: Well, there's poly, and then theres flat out cuckolding &
emasculating and sticking a fancy label on it.
Kahlua: Yeah, well, I meant if I was doing Poly, not cheating on my
wife. :)
evile: And anyone who says "I am poly and bi and I can do whatever I
want and it's none of my husband's business, but if my husband or
lover take a lover, that's cheating"....I really don't see that as a
viable form of poly.
Kahlua: Yeah, no kidding.
Kahlua: What's good for the goose. after all... :)
evile: mystifies me that anybody would put up with that obvious and
insane of a double standard.
Kahlua: "You have to trust me, but I don't trust you, you cheating no-
good bastard."
evile: hehee :)
evile: pretty much. It disgusts me beyond belief.
evile: I'm kind of still stuck with the 'don't ask don't tell' school
of poly, which isn't that healthy either. He can do what he wants, as
long as he stays safe and doesn't do it in our bed, and I don't want
to meet her/them.
Kahlua: That's not so much poly as Open Marriage, which isn't the
same to me
evile: *nod*
evile: the way I look at it, poly is an umbrella term, sort of
like 'christian'..and then swinging, open marriage, poly-fi, etc. are
little 'sub sects'
Kahlua: That works.
evile: I still haven't taken Sweetie up on his 'be safe and take
pictures'...its like, since it's OK to 'cheat', I don't want to. :P
Kahlua: Awww!
Kahlua: We're all losing out!
Kahlua: :P
evile: aww :P

Kahlua: I understand, it's not as fun when you have permission,
right? :)
evile: yup. isn't that silly?
Kahlua: No, it seems like a pretty common human trait :)
evile: yup.
Kahlua: Well, do let us know if you get over the lack of interest.
Enquiring minds want to know. LOL
evile: thanks :)
evile: time for me to vamoose. *hugs*
Kahlua: Bye!

thewordnerd wrote,
@ 2005-10-03 18:49:00
Previous Entry Add to memories! Next Entry
Current mood: good

An open letter to folks who don't like me . . .
This is going to seem like total drama-whoring. All I can say is that
if you genuinely think that it is, then you don't know me or the type
of person that I am at all. :)

Anyone who has read me for any amount of time knows that this journal
has, quite often, been at the receiving end of some pretty raw
emotions. What can I say? Historically I've not had a good support
network, and this happened to be where I'd hash things out, for better
or worse. This is starting to change, and the trend of more emotional
posts is dropping off markably, with various frustrations either
lessening to more managable levels or being handled individually, but
I can't promise that this will always be the case.

It's come to my attention recently that someone whom I've considered
to be a friend, someone who maintains a pretence of civilness and
friendship toward me, may be making some unflattering/insulting
comments about me behind my back to other mutual friends, the gist of
which are that I'm a "big baby," and that some of my friends really
aren't friends (the irony of someone seeming insulting then
questioning others' friendships amuses me. :) This all is second-hand,
so I'm not going to act on it in any way other than being somewhat
more careful with the person in question. And, truth be told, I don't
much care what this person (or many others, for that matter) thinks of
me. I used to be the kind of person that everyone liked . . . but
everyone likes water, because it's bland and flavorless. Not everyone
likes Shiner Bock, or Lone Star, or <insert favorite beer here>,
though there are certainly folks who are passionate about each (though
I worry for anyone who is passionate about Lone Star. :) I could get
hung up and upset about the fact that this person (and, quite
possibly, others) don't like me or are making disparaging comments
about me to others, or I could simply say "Well, you don't like me.
Lots of others do, so I won't waste the time and effort on you."

So here's an offer. If you don't like me, feel free to unfriend me. If
you regularly read my writings and find yourself thinking "Geez, that
thewordnerd is such a baby, or a whiner,, or so immature," or anything else
negative, then I won't take it personally if you stop reading
entirely. But this journal is for me, and I'd rather not have anything
to do with people who don't like me, or think I'm whiny, or whatever.
And that isn't whining. :) It's just a simple statement of who I am
and want to be. I'm focusing my time and energy these days on becoming
a better person, and a big part of that is surrounding myself with
cool people who can read that I'm lonely on a Saturday night and are
willing to understand why, or can read my rather caustic rants about a
work situation and understand the frustrations of discrimination . . .
or, more importantly, can read the things I write and understand that
they're often written precisely because I don't have folks to call up
for distractions or can't just call someone up if I need company
(though, again, this is changing and is less of an issue.) If you're
the type of person who's going to other friends and being disparaging
then I'd rather not have you reading these things about me. While LJ
"friendship" may be a rather poor name for the concept, those who are
on my friendslist are there because I care about them in some form.
Either I care about you because I value you as an RL friend, or I
enjoy reading the things that you write, or like keeping up with your
lives, but I don't namecall or disparage anyone on my list. If I did
then I'd simply take you off first, because if I don't care about you
then I certainly wouldn't want to read the things you wrote.

And, no. I'm not going to cut people for not commenting, not having
spoken to me lately, or anything silly like that. :) While I do admit
to skipping the occasional entry when I'm behind, I do read everything
that crosses my friendslist, even if I don't comment as much as I
should. I'm also not going to argue about this post's content, enter
into any tangential discussions on vaguely-related issues, or anything
of the sort. I guess it's sorta reverse friendslist cleaning. If you
don't like me, would rather jump to quick pop psychology/culture
conclusions than actually try to understand, find that most of your
interactions with me are to snark or insult, etc. then I'd rather lose
an LJ friend than continue in an LJ "friendship," writing things that
you simply rant about behind my back.

Anyway, as I've said, I'm not upset or anything, and I'm actually
interpreting the fact that some don't like me as a good sign, as an
indication that I'm becoming more like the person I want to be and
some don't like that person. :) If that turns some off, though, then
I'd rather be up-front and civil about it instead of sneaky, insulting
and potentially hurtful.


==============================
quite honestly
bramblekite
2005-10-03 21:03
I would question the motives of a 'friend' who was telling you that
another 'friend' was talking shit about you....what exactly did that
friend have to accomplish by causing you to be suspicious and start
guarding your words in what should be the company of people you like
and trust? That kind of tattling bullshit is pure highschool drama
shit-stirring, and people who do it are not true friends, IMHO.

Honestly, I don't think there's any of my friends that I blow sunshine
up their butts 24/7 and always think they're wonderful people.
Sometimes my friends annoy me and I need to bitch about it to someone
I hope I can trust to keep my confidence, and not take it personally
or go telling our mutual friend that I don't like them. Because
obviously, I DO, or I would not listen to their whiney crap endlessly
if I didn't care and want to be there for them in some way. And, yes,
they do the same for me!

So...yeah, there may be times that I got tired of seeing you talking
about the same ol' stuff, and I'm sure there's times you get tired of
seeing me whine about my same ol' stuff in LJ, and that's acceptable.
You are more than welcome to complain to mutual friends "That E sure
is in a rut! I wish she'd quit whining about her damn job and just DO
something already! She's driving me crazy!"

Which does NOT mean I would find it acceptable for the person you
vented at to come tattling to me and telling me "thewordnerd is talking shit
about you!"

Does that make any sense?

=================================
(Reply to this)(Thread)
Re: quite honestly
[info]thewordnerd
2005-10-04 05:05 (link)
Thanks for saying this. I don't necessarily agree with lots of what
you've said, but would like to add a couple points for clarification.

1. Information in and of itself isn't dramatic, and as you've written,
this seems "drama shit-stirring" . . . but we all bear responsibility
for not letting ourselves be stirred, As I've tried to convey above. I
acknowledge that this information is second-hand, so I will not allow
myself to be caught up in independent speculations on its specifics,
and if discussion ensues, I'll either keep it on a civil and
constructive level, or I'll simply choose to walk away. It will not
progress beyond that with me, however, and I appreciate having been
given the information. Information is not dramatic. How one reacts
when given that information is.

2. What I read described in this comment is disagreement. There is a
marked difference between saying "I wish he would stop whining about
his job," and "He's such a fucking baby and needs to shut up already!"
The first is a simple statement of disagreement, which I'm fine with.
The second carries insult and negativity alongside the disagreement,
and if others find themselves expressing their disagreements with me
in this negative, insulting style, well, I don't want that in my life.
It's a bit like inviting someone into your house, offering them
hospitality only to learn that they've gone away complaining to others
about what a bad person you are, which I'm not fine with, as opposed
to someone walking away and simply saying "Wow, I don't like the
psychedelic green paint on those walls," with which I have no problem.
While it is important to react levelly and sanely to any given piece
of information, we do bear a responsibility to ourselves to decide
what we are willing to take from others, and what we clearly are not.
Disagreement I can take. Negativity and insult I will not.

So I was given a piece of information that may or may not be true or
entirely accurate. Given that information, I'm choosing to make a
statement about what I do and do not want in my life and, rather than
assuming that it is accurate and acting upon it, I'm placing whether
or not to do so in the hands of those who may or may not feel this
way. I'll have a civil discussion about the actual problems themselves
should it arise, but if it does not then this will be the extent of
action taken.

========================================

(Reply to this)(Parent) (Thread)
Re: quite honestly
[info]bramblekite
2005-10-04 07:47 (link) Delete
You say you don't want drama?

Then allow me to respectfully suggest that instead of taking the word
of friends of questionable motives re: words and actions of other
friends, and posting in LJ about dumping non-specific persons from
your life, that you approach friend who is supposedly calling you
names and badmouthing you DIRECTLY and ask them what's going on.

Just a thought.

=================================

(Reply to this)(Parent) (Thread)
Re: quite honestly
[info]thewordnerd
2005-10-04 18:27 (link)
I think I've written before about how I might post things here from
time to time and not want advice. This is one such time. Why am I now
getting advice when I've asked in the past that others be more careful
about that tendency?

Also, there is much more to this situation that I haven't written
about here, much of which originates from my own experiences and
thoughts on the matter. Suffice it to say that at no point did I claim
to be "dumping" people from my life, especially only on the word of
one person. I didn't include all of the details here because they're
not anyone else's business, and as I was specifically not seeking
advice or approval, I felt no need to include my own experiences,
thoughts and reservations on the subject, thus making what was a
rather simple and well-written post more complicated by adding
superfluous details. I'm also somewhat insulted that my actions were
cast in a much worse light, especially as no effort was made to
clarify the details of the specific situation. I have more sense than
to hear one random comment from a friend and casually "dump" someone
from my life, and nothing in the above post, other than the readers'
own thoughts, says that this is the case. If such assumptions are made
then it is the responsibility of the one making them to be certain
about them before giving well-meaning advice that presupposes a rather
insultingly-low maturity.

I'm sorry for the hostile tone of this, but the tone of the original
wasn't very civil to begin with, and this kind of stuff annoys me,
especially as I worked to be very respectful throughout my own post
and comments, and this type of heavy-handed "I'm going to give you
advice even though you didn't request it, and do so in a way that
tells you what to do instead of asks for clarification" thing really
doesn't sit well with me, especially when it happens in my own
journal, where I should feel comfortable expressing myself and
especially when several have told me privately that this expression
seemed rather reasonable and non-drama-seeking. I'm not receptive to
any more advice on this particular situation, and would rather the
discussion end here and now. It was a simple post expressing a simple
sentiment, and I don't appreciate the complications being introduced.

==========================================
(Reply to this)(Parent) (Thread)
Re: quite honestly
[info]bramblekite
2005-10-04 20:58 (link) Delete
well, you haven't really wanted to hang with me since I expressed a
desire not to be your guide dog...so, bye.

evile [12:02]: hey :)
SkyeDS [12:03]: hola chica :)
evile [12:03]: how's your day going?
SkyeDS [12:03]: it goes, how's yours?
evile [12:03]: Not bad. Tired & cranky, but OK
evile [12:05]: One of my friends says his ICQ doesn' t show me
online, so I dicked around with it and set it to 'privacy' and now I
can't make it go back to 'available'. FEH!
SkyeDS [12:06]: sonar0m mentioned seeing you last night and what his
parents had to say afterwards. I told him well you should have told
them I am one of her least favorite people and then maybe they would
have decided that the enemy of their enemy is their friend ROFL.
evile [12:07]: They seemed friendly enough...and I didn't give them
anything to deride--I was there with my girlfrends, we were all
decently clad and having normal conversation in normal tones.
SkyeDS [12:07]: you are the sister in law of the devil incarnate.
guilt by association :P
SkyeDS [12:07]: I thought it was funny
SkyeDS [12:07]: especially coming from the King and Queen of
Negativity.
evile [12:08]: *shrug* I have plenty of things about me that are hate-
able, so I'd prefer it if people would actually pick a tangible
quality rather than making up shit to bitch about. whatever.
SkyeDS [12:08]: that was my whole point. All they know about you is
that you are my sister in law, and that's enough to damn you. Which
is why I observed that if they knew you better...etc.
SkyeDS [12:09]: anyway, damnation coming from them is high praise to
the rest of us noncertifiable types :P
SkyeDS [12:09]: they've never learned the one finger pointing at
someone else leaves four fingers pointing back in their own
direction, etc.
evile [12:10]: whatever. Like I said, they seemed like normal people.
SkyeDS [12:11]: their public facades are impeccable, to be sure.
Anyway, sounds like ya'll had a good crowd and a good time last
night. Mangia's and ice cream, what's not to like.
evile [12:11]: yup
SkyeDS [12:11]: I hope they don't change it.
evile [12:11]: that sucks.
SkyeDS [12:12]: I'm kind of attached to Amy's just the way it is.
evile [12:12]: Me too.
evile [12:13]: nikiyoy likes coldstone creamery....I am not very
impressed thus far.
evile [12:16]: I did get Sweetie some wasabi ice cream there, which was
amusing, at least.
SkyeDS [12:18]: some years ago, kaleon took one of his friends to a
Japanese steakhouse and let him think that the wasabi was green tea
ice cream. Everyone was amused except for his friend of course.
evile [12:18]: aww. that's mean.
SkyeDS [12:19]: speaking of which, I took that lightsaber test a good
while back. I got purple too.
SkyeDS [12:19]: I read kaleon's little dissertation about the dark
side, and that was good for a smile - didn't merit a laugh.
evile [12:21]: whatever.
evile [12:22]: I came as close as I dared to saying "look, being a
whiney ass bitch isn't the same thing as being DARK"
SkyeDS [12:22]: I saw.
SkyeDS [12:22]: you were so tactful he won't ever get the point.
evile [12:22]: flew about a mile over his head I think
SkyeDS [12:22]: nodnodnods
SkyeDS [12:23]: Alabastard said the same thing you said, in many more
words and a lot more pointedly about the same thing not too long ago.
evile [12:23]: Oh well, amused me for a second anyway
SkyeDS [12:24]: I didn't think better before I posted to Chaos
yesterday and of course got exactly what I expected, oh well.
evile [12:24]: haven't read hfsinchaos in forever.
SkyeDS [12:25]: I don't get around to email lately until the end of
the day, so reading newsgroups, LJ and other boards sometimes only
gets done once a week now.
evile [12:26]: where in chaos is this going on?
SkyeDS [12:27]: terwin posted in discussions a joke about light v
heavy
SkyeDS [12:27]: and the reason I opened my big fat yap is because
Ceceil was bragging about head shots
evile [12:27]: illegal, yes?
SkyeDS [12:27]: I don't like Ceceil. And he aims those head shots at
Sharjinka
SkyeDS [12:27]: damn straight.
SkyeDS [12:28]: He's nearly as bad as sonar0m, and sonar0m is severely
dyslexic. And sonar0m is struggling to finish community college, he
isn't bragging about his professional life and pursuing a PhD.
evile [12:29]: d'oh
SkyeDS [12:29]: PtA responded that it was a joke. That's fine. And
it wasn't a joke, because every time I see him fight I see him aim
for the head, repeatedly, on purpose.
SkyeDS [12:29]: GtWhatever came back with a comment about my
accidental shot on Jose
evile [12:29]: so I hear
SkyeDS [12:29]: which I should have expected.
SkyeDS [12:30]: anyway, I knew I shouldn't have posted and posted
anyway, because I don't like Ceceil, my friends don't like Ceceil, a
nd I know Ceceil hits people in the head on purpose, particularly
Sharjinka.
SkyeDS [12:30]: and he's part of PtA and GtFuck's grand plan to unify
the HFS so they can be dictatorial tyrants.
SkyeDS [12:31]: and in general he thinks he's all that, a bag of
doritos and some ho hos. And he ain't.
evile [12:31]: When there is absolutely no real-life attractiveness,
accomplishment, or talent to back it up, especially.
SkyeDS [12:32]: I knew better and did it anyway and got what I
expected to get, so there tis.
evile [12:32]: *nod* No more fuel for that fire from you, I'm sure.
Silly people.
SkyeDS [12:33]: sometimes I have better control over what goes into
my mouth than what comes out.
SkyeDS [12:33]: but most of the time I restrain myself pretty heavily
with that group.
evile [12:34]: *nod*
evile [12:35]: battles of wits, unarmed opponents, bla bla.
evile [12:45]: well the good/bad news is that I may not have missed
my cousin John's visit after all...he got into some financial
troubles and may not be driving to TX after all.
SkyeDS [12:48]: :|
evile [13:15]: My cousin Weez sent me his #, I'll call him tonight
and see what's up.
SkyeDS [13:16]: nods
evile [13:17]: it'd be funny to introduce him to [cousin B], I think "first
paternal older than me cousin, meet first maternal younger than me
cousin" :P
evile [13:17]: And, yes, all the horrible nasty bully things John did
to me when I was little, I did to [cousin B]. Ain't it grand :P
SkyeDS [13:18]: all that usually confuses me. All of my cousins are
through my grandparents because both of my parents are only children.
evile [13:19]: John is my father's sister's boy. [cousin B] is my mother's
brother's boy.
evile [13:20]: I usually don't start confusing people until I throw
in the halfs, ex, steps, and various combinations thereof.
SkyeDS [13:40]: they're starting a faire in the Valley
SkyeDS [13:40]: I may go one weekend since my trip to the Valley to
see Cali in January fell through due to the torque converter going
hasta la bye bye again
evile [13:41]: that sounds like fun.
SkyeDS [13:57]: maybe. if they'll accept a contract for just one
weekend.
SkyeDS [13:57]: some faires seem to be more reasonable about that
than others. It doesn't bother Dustin that we can't do his whole 7
week run.
evile [13:57]: *nod*
SkyeDS [13:58]: Excal is going to set their new date for Feb.
evile [13:58]: that should be interesting
SkyeDS [13:58]: Ravensloft is looking at Feb/March.
SkyeDS [13:58]: I really don't understand the attitude of Excal's
jousting company
SkyeDS [13:58]: all of the other jousting companies like having us
around
evile [13:58]: heck, I didn't even know they had one.
evile [13:59]: small man's syndrome, more than likely :P
SkyeDS [13:59]: they do, and they have said they'd pull out if there
was another horse act OR a rides vendor.
evile [14:00]: wierd.
evile [14:05]: well, as long as it profits faire management to have
them there, as the only horse act, that's the way it'll be, I guess.
SkyeDS [14:20]: just got my first evacuee call from Galveston
evile [14:20]: oh, my
evile [14:21]: what is it?
SkyeDS [14:36]: 9 yo mare
SkyeDS [14:36]: her people are going to College Station
SkyeDS [14:36]: I may be going to Galveston to haul a nd I may not
evile [14:37]: *nod* sounds like fun (not!)
SkyeDS [14:40]: thing is, we'll be likely having tornadoes if a Cat 3
hits the TX coast.
SkyeDS [14:40]: and I can't get any horses out but my own if we do
because my trailer only holds two.
evile [14:40]: probably...
SkyeDS [14:40]: so if she wants her horses moved in case of tornado
she'll have to do it herself.
evile [14:40]: well...ya pays yer money, ya takes yer chances...
SkyeDS [14:40]: but even if she doesn't move the mare, horses stand a
better chance against a tornado than a hurricane.
evile [14:41]: yup
evile [14:54]: I can see TX open-hearted attitude towards Katrina
evacuees changing radically once we have 'our own' to take care of.
SkyeDS [14:55]: I'm giving in my own way. Anyone who doesn't like it
can just go their own way, I don't really care to hear it.
evile [14:55]: yup.
evile [15:10]: reading more posts about the bash....I really wish I'd
mustered up enough energy to get to the party Saturday night, at
least. *pout*
SkyeDS [15:10]: :(
evile [15:11]: Oh well. next play party, I'm goin to be there!!!!
oh...wait, no I'm not. the next one is a Voyagers party and it's the
same night as another party we're invited to. damn.
SkyeDS [15:12]: you need a timeturner
evile [15:12]: people need to not do everything at the same time!!
SkyeDS [15:13]: All of Texas is going to have bad weather if Rita
comes this way this weekend.
SkyeDS [15:13]: wonder what that's going to do to the Faire.
SkyeDS [15:13]: not to mention, NOLA can't handle more than 6" of
water at one time or the levees will break, again
evile [15:14]: it would be nice if it could just cool things off a
bit, but that's probably too much to hope for.
SkyeDS [15:14]: the winds alone will reach to OK or past. but it
will probably rain that far inland too.
evile [15:14]: *nod*
evile [15:24]: I'm so sleepy. But I have to go home & make food to
bring to work tomorrow, and then we're going to dinner & then I'm
going to skate night. Crash isn't going to be at dinner, he's going
to see Journey. What a freak. :P
SkyeDS [15:25]: we didn't do any rehearsing last night because I
didn't get home until just before midnight.
evile [15:25]: He and Kathleen went to their divorce mediation
yesterday and Kathleen decided she didn't want a divorce after all.
Go fig
SkyeDS [15:25]: we only have three days to rehearse before we leave
Friday, assuming Rita doesn't wash out the Faire.
evile [15:25]: *nod*
SkyeDS [15:25]: how does Crash feel about all this?
SkyeDS [15:26]: I mean that's got to be hard on him.
evile [15:26]: Well, she is the one who delivered the ultimatum, and
he didn't want to comply, so figured that was that. Now she's
backpedaling and making needless suffering for all.
SkyeDS [15:26]: sighs
evile [15:26]: And, of course, creating lots of situations where she
looks like the blameless martyr victim and he looks like the asshole.
evile [15:27]: I'm sorry, but delivering ultimatums is not the act of
a loving caring spouse
evile [15:27]: So...as far as Crash & his allies are concerned the
chance for reconciliation or saving the marriage passed the second
she said "do it my way OR ELSE" ya know?
SkyeDS [15:28]: there's got to be a way to discuss dealbreakers
without handing down ultimatums
SkyeDS [15:28]: out of curiosity, what was supposed to be "her way or
else"?
evile [15:28]: The only possible situation I can see an ultimatum as
being a loving gesture is if Crash was engaging in behavior which was
endandering himself and/or others (drug use, cheating, like that)
SkyeDS [15:28]: drug use and cheating are the kind of deal breakers
that get discussed before you get married
evile [15:29]: yup.
SkyeDS [15:29]: the three A's = abuse, adultery, addiction.
evile [15:29]: At any rate, it wasn't anything that needed that kind
of extreme response, and Crash was pretty much taken aback and
decided not to mess with her crazy, controlling Scorpio ass any more.
SkyeDS [15:30]: what was it?
SkyeDS [15:30]: and what is Crash signwise?
evile [15:30]: Not really at liberty to discuss. Crash is a Gemini.
As you well know, it's a dangerous combination that doesn't work
unless both partners give and do a LOT to make it work.
SkyeDS [15:31]: that's very true.
SkyeDS [15:31]: thing being that Gemini is mutable Air, and Scorpio
is fixed water.
SkyeDS [15:31]: that means that by nature Gemini is going to give
more and Scorpio will take more.
SkyeDS [15:32]: he must have been pushed pretty damn far before he
said that's enough
SkyeDS [15:32]: farther than some other people would have allowed
themselves to be pushed
evile [15:32]: yup
SkyeDS [15:33]: I didn't know that they were Gem/Scorp too. Isn't
that interesting.
evile [15:33]: yup.
evile [15:35]: Honestly, I think our faire friend Chris called it,
way back when, he said "She's gonna get one of us," (referring to the
single guys in our group of faire folks)....I don't really know if it
mattered to her which one she caught, she wanted 'in' that badly.
SkyeDS [15:36]: I d on't understand that mode of thinking because I'm
not made that way <shrug>
evile [15:36]: And very interesting that she was one of the ones most
threatened and offended when I'd show up by myself to something
because Sweetie had made other plans.
SkyeDS [15:37]: well, that's not quite so silly as being threatened
by me.
SkyeDS [15:37]: not if you were to stand us side by side naked.
evile [15:37]: but you're poly and I'm not.
SkyeDS [15:37]: so?
SkyeDS [15:38]: it's easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a
needle, and for a rich man to get into heaven, than to become a new
partner in my life.
evile [15:38]: I'm not available to anybody but Sweetie. you're
theoretically available to whoever piques your interest. I'd see you
as a larger threat simply because your'e sexually available,
regardless of our respective appearances.
SkyeDS [15:39]: lol, people think I'm more available than I am.
SkyeDS [15:39]: besides I've done the three thing, and I'm just not
woman enough for more than two at once.
evile [15:39]: well, sure. *shrug*
evile [15:40]: I guess some people just don't understand that someone
could or would make a committment and stick to it...when I say I'm
hetero mono for as long as Sweetie and I are together, that's exactly
what I mean.
evile [15:41]: I'm not after anyone, I'm not available to
anyone....certainly not Crash or any of our other faire guys. They're
all sweet & fun to hang out with, but...no.
SkyeDS [15:42]: I w onder if it's the same people who don't
understand that me and mine don't cheat because we are painfully open
and honest with each other
SkyeDS [15:42]: that don't understand that you mean what you say
SkyeDS [15:42]: because these people DO cheat (where you don't) and
they DO lie (where I don't)
evile [15:43]: I suppose. It's just irritating. No, honey, really...I
don't want your bologne sandwich. I have prime rib at home. Really,
seriously. Have it all. Go for it.
SkyeDS [15:43]: nods. rolls eyes.
SkyeDS [15:44]: if you think that something like me can take what
you've got, maybe you ought to work on yourself and you wouldn't feel
that way.
evile [15:45]: well, yeah, jealousy is all about insecurity...it's
not about other people at all, it's about not feeling worthy to have
what you have. But, sadly, if you act like that, it messes up the
trust in the relationship and creates a self-fulfilling prophecy in a
lot of cases.
evile [15:46]: If Sweetie ever acted like a jealous jerk, didn't trust
me, I'd cheat in a heartbeat. But because he trusts me 100%, I'm 100%
trustworthy.
evile [15:47]: These days, he's saying that if I'm safe and take
pictures I can do whatever I want...I haven't found anyone yet to
test that theory with :P
evile [15:52]: Like I'd have time for a new relationship right now,
anyway. I've got my girlfriends, my groups, Sweetie, and that's pretty
much all my free time right there. I still need to make time for
house, garden, and crafts....all of which I'd rather do than make
sweaty photographs :P
evile [15:53]: I still want to do photos with April sometime, though.
evile [15:56]: Not really the same kind of pictures...though I
suppose they could be :P
SkyeDS [15:56, Auto Response ]: I am currently away from the computer.
evile [15:56]: well, I"m going to make the rounds *hugs* for when you
get back. Have a safe drive home!

CRASH [12:08]: Hey sweetie!
evile [12:08]: hi
evile [12:08]: What's up?
CRASH [12:08]: saw you and wanted to say Hi
evile [12:09]: aww! How's life?
CRASH [12:09]: can you remind Sweetie I am going to see Journey tonight
and won't be at wings?
CRASH [12:09]: if you see him
CRASH [12:09]: Life's up and down...had divorce mediation yesterday
evile [12:09]: Yeah, I'll tell him.
CRASH [12:09]: thanks
evile [12:09]: How did that go?
CRASH [12:10]: she now no longer wants the divorce
evile [12:10]: oh, for gods sake!
CRASH [12:10]: yes
evile [12:11]: so, what does that mean? She's firing her lawyer and
stopping with the negative crazy BS?
CRASH [12:11]: she went into this 15min dissertation about how she
still loves me and it's breaking her heart and how she promises to
change and that she was wrong in how she treated me and etc. etc.
evile [12:11]: Oh, whatever. Too little, too late, IMHO.
CRASH [12:11]: yes
CRASH [12:11]: that's what I told her
CRASH [12:12]: basically
CRASH [12:12]: All 5 of us were crying by the time she got done
CRASH [12:12]: both lawyers, us, and the mediator
CRASH [12:12]: but I said no, I can't do it
evile [12:12]: good. Because you know that nothing would really
change, this is just one more round of manipulative BS, making
herself look good for an audience, etc
CRASH [12:13]: then today I had an email from her at work
CRASH [12:13]: yes
CRASH [12:14]: same thing, I wrote her back, and told her if she
truly cares, she'll stop this now and quit scrambling my heart and
mind like so many farmer yard eggs
evile [12:14]: *BIG HUGS* I'm so sorry for all that poinless drama &
pain.
CRASH [12:14]: we'll see what happens next
evile [12:14]: *nod*
CRASH [12:14]: *HUGS* back .
CRASH [12:15]: thanks E, the support means everything to me
CRASH [12:15]: I went to see Cam last night after rehearsal and I
walked in the door and hugged her and just broke down cryijng
evile [12:16]: aww....that sucks. I'm glad she was there for you,
though.
CRASH [12:16]: she just said it's okay, and said you can talk about
it with me if you want to, or not, it's up to you"
CRASH [12:16]: she so awesome
evile [12:16]: that's very cool.
CRASH [12:17]: so anywho, I should go back to work I suppose
CRASH [12:17]: thanks for listening to my stories! :)
evile [12:17]: Ok, anytime, love.
evile [12:17]: have fun tonight :)
CRASH [12:17]: you guys too, I'll miss being at wings but cheesing
out at Journey will be a total blast too!
evile [12:18]: YUP!
CRASH [12:18]: take care love
CRASH [12:18]: XOXO

I unfriended her.


====================
Date: Tue, 13 Sep 2005 01:21:
Subject: Reply to your post...

roboho (roboho) replied to your LiveJournal post in which you said:

> To those coworkers and acquaintances who have joined Mrs. Bush in

talking

> about what a blessing Katrina actually was to the people of New

Orleans,

> who have joined the Republican Party in blaming the poor, blaming the
> mayor of NOLA and the governor of Louisiana, who have not questioned

the

> appropriateness of our president playing guitars and saying "What
> problem?" while thousands lost their lives...

> Let me just say that when I next hear of you losing a beloved friend

or

> family member to death, here is what I'm going to say to you:

> <i>"Gosh, it's really a blessing that they're dead. I mean, they were

in

> pain and suffering, anyway. They weren't healthy, so it's a blessing

in

> disguise that they're gone. And look at all the wonderful cards and
> flowers you got! So, <b>it's really working out well</b> for you,

isn't

> it?"</i>

> You are now warned. No empathy, no sympathy for those who have shown
> none.

I had lunch w/nikiyoy yesterday at La Palapa. She was talking about
fishfood and fang and how they want to have a closed poly fi
relationshp and they want her to move in w/them. She doesn't want
either right now.

She is pissed because Belin_ann (Galen's wife) keeps flirting w/fishfood.
WTF, man. Belin_ann has even approached her to make sure it's OK, and
nikiyoy told her 'look but don't touch'

Fishfood apparently has told her that the only reason he's still with
his wife is because she's got cancer and it would be shitty of him to
leave her while she's sick.

Fang doesn't want to work, she wants to go back to school, and
apparently fishfood has problems with that because even though he makes
a ton of $, he doesn't want to support her.

Fang is a 'princess' and has 'entitlement issues' and apparently nikiyoy
thinks she's going to lay down the law and change the way fishfood and
fang interact with one another, and she also is demanding to be an
equal in the relationship. She will be interviewing their roommate
along with them, since she's not moving in w/them.

Seems like a lot of drama for not much happiness.

We also talked about how it seems that everyone's giving up poly, and
how if this one doesn't work out, she's giving up on poly, too. I don't
think poly is the problem...but if she'd rather have a conventional
relationship and cheat from time to time, or do the serial-monogamy
thing, that's her business.

I'm still mad at her for lying to me re: her involvement w/Crash (Sweetie
says that only oral happened the night of the hot tub, but that there
were other times when nikiyoy and Crash did the whole 9 yards)...but I'm
not really in any position to be confrontational re: lying and
cheating. It really is her business (and Crash's) and if they don't
want people to know, they don't have to tell anyone. *sigh* I have no
problem with them having sex, but lying sucks.

:(

Anyway...I am not much liking nikiyoy's latest mindset on things. I hope
the thing with fishfood dies soon.

evile: whee! I nailed jello to a tree :) at least for now!
Sharjinka: How did you accompish this miracle???
evile: *shrug* years of practice, I guess.
evile: stronger boundaries, for sure.
Sharjinka: What happened?? (dare I ask!)
evile: I really have no idea. She went 'away' after I offended her
yesterday, so before I signed off, I told her "Look, we have a lot of
pleasant interests in common. I think we should talk about those and
stop bringing up topics that upset one another"...so far today it's
been pleasant & I'm assuming we are all still on speaking terms.
Sharjinka: That's cool. :-)
evile: I'm glad. If nothing else it will make life easier for sineater,
not to have to hear what a horrid bitch I am.
Sharjinka: Wow! They have Horses for Dummies. I'm going to pick
that up!
Sharjinka: I hope so.
evile: I really don't like the 'for dummies' books. I wish they'd
call them 'for beginners' or something like that. I hate being called
stupid.
Sharjinka: Be careful though. This could be a troll trick???
evile: possibly. My boundaries are up, and I am going to be mindful
of enforcing them.
Sharjinka: I know. I'm not fond of the titles. I remember I bought
GRE for Dummies and the first page apologized for the title.
Something like: if you're taking the GRE, you are obviously not a
dummy. I really appreciated the apology. ;-)
Sharjinka: I hope this boundary thing works. You don't deserve the
kind of stress A dishes out.
evile: I do think she's gotten sineater addicted to fighting and drama
(if he wasn't already)...to some degree, maybe I am too. I am going
to fight my addiction as long as possible and try to keep things
light and positive.
Sharjinka: I think she has influenced him along those lines too. He
told me something once and I think he wanted a dramatic reaction and
I told him I didn't know what to say or do....
evile: I bet that threw him for a loop.
Sharjinka: I told him I was surprised, but I didn't know what to
say. He did say something that shocked me and my initial reaction
was so much shock that I looked completely calm and rational.
evile: good for you :)
Sharjinka: Inside I was freaking out..... I couldn't really believe
it.
Sharjinka: Do you mind.....uhm....verifying it for me? It still
bothers me to this day.....
evile: go ahead.
Sharjinka: Did he....really beat A until she had to be taken to the
hospital??
evile: no.
Sharjinka: ???????? He told me he almost beat her to death. Did he
not?? Why did he say something like that??????
evile: That's the way she remembers it, and she's yelled at him about
it enough times that he thinks that's what happened.
Sharjinka: So what did happen???
evile: When did he tell you this happened?
Sharjinka: A long time ago and I kept it to myself because I didn't
know what to say or how to react. It might have been almost three
years ago or more.
evile: about 3 years ago, she hit him in the face and he hit her in
the mouth.
Sharjinka: That's it??
evile: there was a bit over 2 yrs at the beginning of their marriage
when we were not on speaking terms, so I can't say what happened
then. But no hospital incidents that I know of, ever.
Sharjinka: I mean....you shouldn't hit people but he made it sound
like hospitalization was involved.
Sharjinka: It was just one hit to the mouth??
evile: They were out at Barad Duin the next day, or later the same
day, when she hit him in the face and he hit her in the mouth. His
eye was red and swollen, her lower lip was busted
Sharjinka: So....kind of an exchange of blows.....
evile: basically.
Sharjinka: Wow..... He really seemed torn up about it and he told me
he was dangerous. I told him he wasn't.
Sharjinka: I almost said she'd love you to believe that because guilt
is an easy way to control someone....
Sharjinka: But I didn't say it.
evile: yup. He did feel terrible about it.
Sharjinka: I could tell.
evile: As far as I know the only other time they got into physical
stuff where he hurt her was when she first started dating
kaleon....maybe 8 yrs ago now? She lied to him a lot, tried to tell
kaleon that sineater was abusing her and she needed rescue, and sineater tried
to choke her. He got court-ordered anger management for that.
Sharjinka: He might have been combining both to convince me he was a
dangerous person.
evile: *nod* it's that whole trollish 'subjective reality' thing.
Sharjinka: It was somewhat confusing and of course, I am wishy
washy....
Sharjinka: I decided to approach it as a journalist. Without knowing
all the facts for certain, I dismissed the incident. ;-) It was the
only way I could think to handle it.
evile: *nod*
Sharjinka: I did log it away in the back of my mind and decided if I
could ever figure it out later, I would. Thanks for clearing it up
and sorry to bring up the negative.
evile: it doesn't do any good to go point by point, day by day, X
happened and then Y happened, and then Z happened...because it gets
twisted up in the memory of the troll, to serve the troll's agenda.
Sharjinka: I could see that by what he was trying to convince me of
and I kept telling him I knew dangerous people and he didn't qualify.
Sharjinka: ;-)
evile: yup.
Sharjinka: It was all very strange but I wouldn't let myself get
pulled into it.
evile: good.
Sharjinka: But it did make me wonder. I've never struck a
relationship person and meant it. I wrestle and play with them but I
don't ever mean it.
evile: nope, me neither.
Sharjinka: So I was kind of shocked by the whole thing.
evile: yeah. I wonder why he told you that.
Sharjinka: I don't know.... Maybe to put me off because I was
flirting with him and such.
evile: oh, probably
Sharjinka: When he wanted to just hang out as friends I told him yes
and a couple weeks later he told me this.
evile: December 21, 2002, is the exact date of the incident,
actually, I just found it in my offline journal.
evile: oops, 22nd. sorry.
Sharjinka: Okay.... It may have been after the incident. He told me
while we were riding the horses on a spring day, I think.
evile: *nod* that seems pretty consistent with their patterns.
Something happens, there is Story #1 about what happens,a nd as time
goes on the story gets worse and worse and more and more dramatic.
Sharjinka: I thought as much. I don't know that he believed what he
was telling me and that stuck in my mind more than anything else. He
knows how much I dislike exaggeration. ;-)
evile: Well, I think it puts a strain on his mind to believe
different things...but I think what he knows to be true all depends
on who he's with at the time.
Sharjinka: I know what you mean. I think he could tell I didn't
really believe it and he dropped it.
evile: *nod* He is not very fearsome...pretty easy to face him down
and get him back to 'normal' interactions.
Sharjinka: Yeah.....he was pretty quiet after that.
evile: I've gotten so mean lately...when he calls me up and tries to
romp on me for being 'mean' to 'skye' I just launch an attack right
up front and he backs down, like, *immediately*. It makes me sad that
he's so easy to beat up...and I hate to be like that...but I have
told him again and again that I will NOT allow him to fight with me
on her behalf.
Sharjinka: It seems odd to me that he doesn't get it. Has he ever
been violent? I think he wanted me to believe it and I just didn't.
evile: as a teenager, I remember him knocking a couple of holes in
walls, destroying some of his own stuff, and exactly *once* we got
into physical violence. I hit him first, and he mostly tried to hold
me off, without hitting me back.
Sharjinka: I see. I thought so.
evile: you'd have to push him VERY hard to get him to that point.
very very hard.
Sharjinka: I know there's a quiet rage but I don't think he has it.
Sharjinka: Lots of folks are like that.
Sharjinka: OMG....I just looked at the Batman Begins lead guy.
evile: cutie, ain't he?
Sharjinka: He's the kid from Newsies!!!
evile: oh, really???
Sharjinka: Damned good dancer.
Sharjinka: Yes. Lead in that.
evile: cool.
Sharjinka: It wasn't a very good movie but dance scenes are so rare
these days. I enjoyed it.
evile: heh. It's been forever since I saw that.
Sharjinka: I just noticed he was a cute dancing guy. Stuck in my
mind.
evile: yeah.
Sharjinka: :-D
Sharjinka: Cute dancing guys stand out. Any guy can act tough and
fight. Real men DANCE! ;-)
evile: Christopher Walken got his start dancing :)
Sharjinka: I still have that video bookmarked and watch it once in a
while.
Sharjinka: It reminds me of Gene Kelly!
evile: he's got the moves. I have a mad crush on him!
Sharjinka: Christopher Walken or Gene Kelly??
evile: Walken :)
Sharjinka: Yep. Awesome dancer!
evile: and such a hottie bad guy :)
Sharjinka: Exactly!
Sharjinka: Now...I'm going to have to watch his video again!
evile: heeehee :)
Sharjinka: I felt very complimented when JG said that he could see me
dancing when no one is right. I do but NOT like that. Walken is
just fantastic.
evile: heehee :) I can see that!
Sharjinka: I burst into dance on campus and freaked out the
students. I don't think I care anymore who sees it.
evile: good for you :) Welcome to the Goddess years
Sharjinka: Does this mean I get worshipped and donations??? ;-)
evile: sure!
Sharjinka: Great! I need the money! ;-)
evile: don't we all? dang it, I didn't win the lotto last night.
Sharjinka: Darn.
Sharjinka: I want to win the lotto! There's so much I could do!
evile: me too.
Sharjinka: :-D