3302icq w/Sharjinka

[evile]

Jun. 16, 2005

 

 

evile: whee! I nailed jello to a tree :) at least for now!
Sharjinka: How did you accompish this miracle???
evile: *shrug* years of practice, I guess.
evile: stronger boundaries, for sure.
Sharjinka: What happened?? (dare I ask!)
evile: I really have no idea. She went 'away' after I offended her
yesterday, so before I signed off, I told her "Look, we have a lot of
pleasant interests in common. I think we should talk about those and
stop bringing up topics that upset one another"...so far today it's
been pleasant & I'm assuming we are all still on speaking terms.
Sharjinka: That's cool. :-)
evile: I'm glad. If nothing else it will make life easier for sineater,
not to have to hear what a horrid bitch I am.
Sharjinka: Wow! They have Horses for Dummies. I'm going to pick
that up!
Sharjinka: I hope so.
evile: I really don't like the 'for dummies' books. I wish they'd
call them 'for beginners' or something like that. I hate being called
stupid.
Sharjinka: Be careful though. This could be a troll trick???
evile: possibly. My boundaries are up, and I am going to be mindful
of enforcing them.
Sharjinka: I know. I'm not fond of the titles. I remember I bought
GRE for Dummies and the first page apologized for the title.
Something like: if you're taking the GRE, you are obviously not a
dummy. I really appreciated the apology. ;-)
Sharjinka: I hope this boundary thing works. You don't deserve the
kind of stress A dishes out.
evile: I do think she's gotten sineater addicted to fighting and drama
(if he wasn't already)...to some degree, maybe I am too. I am going
to fight my addiction as long as possible and try to keep things
light and positive.
Sharjinka: I think she has influenced him along those lines too. He
told me something once and I think he wanted a dramatic reaction and
I told him I didn't know what to say or do....
evile: I bet that threw him for a loop.
Sharjinka: I told him I was surprised, but I didn't know what to
say. He did say something that shocked me and my initial reaction
was so much shock that I looked completely calm and rational.
evile: good for you :)
Sharjinka: Inside I was freaking out..... I couldn't really believe
it.
Sharjinka: Do you mind.....uhm....verifying it for me? It still
bothers me to this day.....
evile: go ahead.
Sharjinka: Did he....really beat A until she had to be taken to the
hospital??
evile: no.
Sharjinka: ???????? He told me he almost beat her to death. Did he
not?? Why did he say something like that??????
evile: That's the way she remembers it, and she's yelled at him about
it enough times that he thinks that's what happened.
Sharjinka: So what did happen???
evile: When did he tell you this happened?
Sharjinka: A long time ago and I kept it to myself because I didn't
know what to say or how to react. It might have been almost three
years ago or more.
evile: about 3 years ago, she hit him in the face and he hit her in
the mouth.
Sharjinka: That's it??
evile: there was a bit over 2 yrs at the beginning of their marriage
when we were not on speaking terms, so I can't say what happened
then. But no hospital incidents that I know of, ever.
Sharjinka: I mean....you shouldn't hit people but he made it sound
like hospitalization was involved.
Sharjinka: It was just one hit to the mouth??
evile: They were out at Barad Duin the next day, or later the same
day, when she hit him in the face and he hit her in the mouth. His
eye was red and swollen, her lower lip was busted
Sharjinka: So....kind of an exchange of blows.....
evile: basically.
Sharjinka: Wow..... He really seemed torn up about it and he told me
he was dangerous. I told him he wasn't.
Sharjinka: I almost said she'd love you to believe that because guilt
is an easy way to control someone....
Sharjinka: But I didn't say it.
evile: yup. He did feel terrible about it.
Sharjinka: I could tell.
evile: As far as I know the only other time they got into physical
stuff where he hurt her was when she first started dating
kaleon....maybe 8 yrs ago now? She lied to him a lot, tried to tell
kaleon that sineater was abusing her and she needed rescue, and sineater tried
to choke her. He got court-ordered anger management for that.
Sharjinka: He might have been combining both to convince me he was a
dangerous person.
evile: *nod* it's that whole trollish 'subjective reality' thing.
Sharjinka: It was somewhat confusing and of course, I am wishy
washy....
Sharjinka: I decided to approach it as a journalist. Without knowing
all the facts for certain, I dismissed the incident. ;-) It was the
only way I could think to handle it.
evile: *nod*
Sharjinka: I did log it away in the back of my mind and decided if I
could ever figure it out later, I would. Thanks for clearing it up
and sorry to bring up the negative.
evile: it doesn't do any good to go point by point, day by day, X
happened and then Y happened, and then Z happened...because it gets
twisted up in the memory of the troll, to serve the troll's agenda.
Sharjinka: I could see that by what he was trying to convince me of
and I kept telling him I knew dangerous people and he didn't qualify.
Sharjinka: ;-)
evile: yup.
Sharjinka: It was all very strange but I wouldn't let myself get
pulled into it.
evile: good.
Sharjinka: But it did make me wonder. I've never struck a
relationship person and meant it. I wrestle and play with them but I
don't ever mean it.
evile: nope, me neither.
Sharjinka: So I was kind of shocked by the whole thing.
evile: yeah. I wonder why he told you that.
Sharjinka: I don't know.... Maybe to put me off because I was
flirting with him and such.
evile: oh, probably
Sharjinka: When he wanted to just hang out as friends I told him yes
and a couple weeks later he told me this.
evile: December 21, 2002, is the exact date of the incident,
actually, I just found it in my offline journal.
evile: oops, 22nd. sorry.
Sharjinka: Okay.... It may have been after the incident. He told me
while we were riding the horses on a spring day, I think.
evile: *nod* that seems pretty consistent with their patterns.
Something happens, there is Story #1 about what happens,a nd as time
goes on the story gets worse and worse and more and more dramatic.
Sharjinka: I thought as much. I don't know that he believed what he
was telling me and that stuck in my mind more than anything else. He
knows how much I dislike exaggeration. ;-)
evile: Well, I think it puts a strain on his mind to believe
different things...but I think what he knows to be true all depends
on who he's with at the time.
Sharjinka: I know what you mean. I think he could tell I didn't
really believe it and he dropped it.
evile: *nod* He is not very fearsome...pretty easy to face him down
and get him back to 'normal' interactions.
Sharjinka: Yeah.....he was pretty quiet after that.
evile: I've gotten so mean lately...when he calls me up and tries to
romp on me for being 'mean' to 'skye' I just launch an attack right
up front and he backs down, like, *immediately*. It makes me sad that
he's so easy to beat up...and I hate to be like that...but I have
told him again and again that I will NOT allow him to fight with me
on her behalf.
Sharjinka: It seems odd to me that he doesn't get it. Has he ever
been violent? I think he wanted me to believe it and I just didn't.
evile: as a teenager, I remember him knocking a couple of holes in
walls, destroying some of his own stuff, and exactly *once* we got
into physical violence. I hit him first, and he mostly tried to hold
me off, without hitting me back.
Sharjinka: I see. I thought so.
evile: you'd have to push him VERY hard to get him to that point.
very very hard.
Sharjinka: I know there's a quiet rage but I don't think he has it.
Sharjinka: Lots of folks are like that.
Sharjinka: OMG....I just looked at the Batman Begins lead guy.
evile: cutie, ain't he?
Sharjinka: He's the kid from Newsies!!!
evile: oh, really???
Sharjinka: Damned good dancer.
Sharjinka: Yes. Lead in that.
evile: cool.
Sharjinka: It wasn't a very good movie but dance scenes are so rare
these days. I enjoyed it.
evile: heh. It's been forever since I saw that.
Sharjinka: I just noticed he was a cute dancing guy. Stuck in my
mind.
evile: yeah.
Sharjinka: :-D
Sharjinka: Cute dancing guys stand out. Any guy can act tough and
fight. Real men DANCE! ;-)
evile: Christopher Walken got his start dancing :)
Sharjinka: I still have that video bookmarked and watch it once in a
while.
Sharjinka: It reminds me of Gene Kelly!
evile: he's got the moves. I have a mad crush on him!
Sharjinka: Christopher Walken or Gene Kelly??
evile: Walken :)
Sharjinka: Yep. Awesome dancer!
evile: and such a hottie bad guy :)
Sharjinka: Exactly!
Sharjinka: Now...I'm going to have to watch his video again!
evile: heeehee :)
Sharjinka: I felt very complimented when JG said that he could see me
dancing when no one is right. I do but NOT like that. Walken is
just fantastic.
evile: heehee :) I can see that!
Sharjinka: I burst into dance on campus and freaked out the
students. I don't think I care anymore who sees it.
evile: good for you :) Welcome to the Goddess years
Sharjinka: Does this mean I get worshipped and donations??? ;-)
evile: sure!
Sharjinka: Great! I need the money! ;-)
evile: don't we all? dang it, I didn't win the lotto last night.
Sharjinka: Darn.
Sharjinka: I want to win the lotto! There's so much I could do!
evile: me too.
Sharjinka: :-D