3651ICQ w/skye_ds (TEH KRAZOR!)

[evile]

Oct. 13, 2005

 

 

evile: howdy :) I went to the library at lunchtime. Nice walk. humid
out, though.
SkyeDS: how do. nods.
SkyeDS: hoping for more rain myself - need it. rain = better than
humidity.
evile: yes
evile: could probably do without any rain on poly dinner tonight but
other than that it would be great.
SkyeDS: what it does on the ranch is not usually what it does in town
and vice versa.
evile: yup
SkyeDS: obviously I want the rain on the ranch, not on the pavement
evile: yup
SkyeDS: major project - brb slow
evile: ok
SkyeDS: back kinda sorta but still slow
evile: OK :) It's pretty dull around here, anyhoo.
SkyeDS: look around LJ long enough and I'm sure you will find
entertaining drama - if there isn't another IM or email source of it,
lol
evile: I'm enjoying the drama free life at the moment, actually
evile: I got 'punk' on that quiz. go fig.
SkyeDS: I wasn't really in love with any of the answers offered
<shrug> but I did get called Elvira in school
evile: there were lots of qs that I didn't really like any of the
answers, this is true. OH well.
SkyeDS: at least it distinguishes between the connoisseur of
literature a nd music goth from the uber angsty has no clue what the
word means Goth.
evile: that amused me. Every personality type EXCEPT punk on that
quiz got this major dissertation on the complexities of that type.
SkyeDS: maybe the author doesn't know enough about the subject to
hold forth on it
evile: Or maybe punk needs no explanation or justification or
shading, it's just ya know...PUNK :p
SkyeDS: could be
SkyeDS: you know how I feel about words mean things and using
language with exactitude
SkyeDS: unlike people who use the word "polygamy" for example when
they mean polyamory or polyfidelity
SkyeDS: I'm not a polygamist, that's illegal.
evile: I was 'new wave' if anything, but that whole sub-genre seems
to have been forgotten by history
SkyeDS: or the word "bisexual" when they've been in a threesome with
someone of their same gender but had no sexual contact with that
person whatsoever, and never have had sex with someone of their same
gender ever for that matter.
SkyeDS: and then there's the whole business about abusers calling
other people abusers and using the word ex-wife when they should be
saying ex-girlfriend, but ya know.
evile: *shrug* I used to have problems with people who had no sexual
experience with the member of the same sex, hell, barely even FRIENDS
of the same sex, saying they were bi.
SkyeDS: not to mention throwing around the word "torture" and the
word "Nazi"
evile: But I figure if you can be het without actually having het
sex, why not bi or gay?
SkyeDS: that's true.
SkyeDS: but the last usage I'm thinking of was made to appear to be
in the context of actual practice
evile: oh well. Not my concern what people do with their pink bits,
if it's not with me.
SkyeDS: from a person who has said many times he has no intention of
ever sleeping with another man.
evile: If someone needs attention in chat/irc/mush that badly, just
let 'em babble until they firmly entrench their foot in mouth up to
the fuckin knee, THEN laugh, ya know?
SkyeDS: Let me ask you something.
SkyeDS: if you, yourself, really thought that I was not just abusing
sineater, but "torturing" him, would you n ot have called the cops, t he
army, and everyone else and their grandma and their little dog Toto
too, in?
SkyeDS: you DO know that I"m not [the rubber pig], right?
evile: No, you are not [the rubber pig].
evile: sineater has made it abundantly clear over the years that my
interference in his life & choices is unwelcome.
SkyeDS: you still have not answered whether you truly believe I have
been abusing and torturing him
SkyeDS: his choices and interference have nothing to do with an
opinion, which is what I asked for.
evile: why are you asking me this? Are we dredging up ancient history?
SkyeDS: I'm asking for the only reason I ever ask any question,
because I genuinely want to know.
SkyeDS: and it isn't "past" history, it's right now.
SkyeDS: not what you think I've done in the past, what you think I'm
doing currently.
evile: It has been repeatedly smashed into my head that I don't know
what really goes on between you two and have no right to judge your
relationship.
SkyeDS: we've already established that both of us behaved badly in
the past, abusively. Although I think "torture" is going a little
far, as neither of us are guilty of that (and that's not a term
either of us would use, but other people seem awfully fond of it
lately)
evile: I am not one of the 'other people' so I really don't think any
of this applies to me.
SkyeDS: that's why I'm asking you, I want to know if that's what you
think, or not.
evile: I don't know enough about your current relationship to know,
quite honestly.
SkyeDS: that anyone would call me an "ex wife" to whom I was never
married, and then refer to us as polygamists, isn't worth bothering
over, because that's blatantly ludicrous.
evile: The last couple of times I've seen you, I haven't seen
anything that looks like abuse or torture
SkyeDS: but the "abusive" and "torture" business
SkyeDS: you said not too long ago, lie down with dogs get up with
fleas
SkyeDS: and quite a few people to whom you are close have been
throwing these words around
SkyeDS: and I don't notice anyone correcting them
evile: sineater's LJ reports that he feels 'loved' and 'happy' so I am
going to take him at his word. If he believes that he is loved and
happy, t hat's good enough for me.
SkyeDS: so when you don't say anything one way or the other, "yes she
is" or "no she isn't, and try using words right, why don't you" that
leaves me to ask what your opinion is.
evile: I am close to Sweetie, onyxlynxx, maggiemaepisces, [Cousin B], [aunt L], and [uncle B]. If you are
talking about something Chrisloy or kaleon said or are saying, they're
not saying it to me and I'm not in daily or even weekly contact with
either of them.
evile: Just because someone is on my LJ friends list does not mean I
am 'close'
evile: And I don't know where you're getting any of this, or in what
context, so I really feel like your'e trying to force me into doing
or saying something that will offend you.
SkyeDS: no, what I wanted is quite simple. Do you personally believe
that "torture" is a word that applies to me.
evile: And I am telling you that the most recent times I've seen your
interactions with sineater, I did not see 'torture' or 'abuse'.
SkyeDS: I suppose it depends on how you define torture, but by the
dictionary definition of the word, you have never in any interaction
ever seen either of us torture the other. But be that as it may, you
answered the question, and that's sufficient.
evile: I answered it more than once, actually.
evile: 1) evile: The last couple of times I've seen you, I haven't
seen anything that looks like abuse or torture
2) And I am telling you that the most recent times I've seen your
interactions with sineater, I did not see 'torture' or 'abuse'.
evile: I don't really know how I could have been plainer.
evile: And if you are seeing or hearing any words of recent vintage
to the contrary, I'd appreciate a citation so that I can see them in
context.
evile: As it stands, I'm just kind of floored by the randomness of
your question, wondering what triggered it and why?
SkyeDS: because I do not automatically apply "lie down with dogs, get
up with fleas" - I was not going to make assumptions about what you
think, so I ask you.
evile: I know...but why today, now? Where is this coming from?
SkyeDS: from the current misusage by detractors of the
words "torture", "exwife", "abusive", "polygamy" and "bisexuality"
that are thrown around *lately* about me.
SkyeDS: by people who t hink for I don't know what reason that they
say these things privately and therefore I won't find out about them.
evile: I don't know who has been saying what, or where...but it
wasn't with or to me, so I really don't have a clue why this would be
my fault or my problem
SkyeDS: these things also upset someone else. And as you know, when
he's upset, I have to deal with it.
evile: I'm not seeing or hearing it, whatever it is that is
triggering you today.
SkyeDS: actually, *my* trigger is sineater. And if you want to know what
triggered him, you'd have to ask him.
evile: I have no frame of reference for whatever's got either of you
stirred up right now.
evile: Last time I saw or talked to either of you was at Tablerock,
and y'all were busy, but not upset that I could see.
SkyeDS: I just told you what has me slightly concerned. This isn't
stirred up on my part, believe me.
SkyeDS: if you want to know what's upsetting him, and he's a whole
lot more upset than I am, you'll have to ask.
evile: Well, you know...I'm liking that no drama thing a lot. And
since sineater seems to be pissed at ME for things that I did not say or
do, but people I know casually said or did at some uncertain point in
time...I really don't see much of a need to subject myself to that
nonsense, honestly.
evile: Be mad at me for the sun shining, why not. I am on the earth,
the sun is shining, therefore it must be my fault. I'm not interested
in being beat up and blamed becasue somebody got a sunburn.
evile: I am not upset at you, or at sineater. I love sineater dearly, he's
my family. If he wants me, he knows where to reach me.
evile: I would like to love you, I would like us to be friends, you
have a lot of worthwhile traits, but you don't seem to want that, and
so I respect your distance and do my best to be good company in
whatever capacity you seem to want/allow.
evile: I am doing my best. My best does not, however, mean I am
going to go borrowing trouble or letting people beat up on me for
things I did not do or say, or things I've already apologized for and
tried to make right.
SkyeDS: I think you're not separating me from sineater here.
evile: My friends are my friends. They are not my tools, my puppets,
or ME. They are their own people with their own lives, thoughts, and
feelings.
evile: I don't think sineater is separating me from them, either.
SkyeDS: I asked you said question because I wanted to know the honest
answer without assuming it.
SkyeDS: So I don't see where all this is coming from.
SkyeDS: I wanted an honest answer from the horse's mouth and nowhere
else, and I got it, and I will proceed accordingly.
evile: And it's not fair and I'm not goign to fight with him over
something Chris or kaleon did/said, because I didn't have anything to
do with it,and honestly I don't give enough of a shit about either of
them to take that kind of bulle t on their behalf.
SkyeDS: what passes between you and sineater is not mine to process
until/unless he makes it so.
evile: I still d ont' see why you needed to ask that. I havent' said
or done anything to prompt that kind of question, that I know of.
SkyeDS: well, what you say to me, and what some people say you say to
them, doesn't jive.
SkyeDS: what these people say that you have said to them, about me, I
meant to say
evile: which people, when, in what context? in ancient history, I may
have said something, but ....not lately.
SkyeDS: that shows how convoluted this whole thing is and I just wish
it would go away.
SkyeDS: well, according to one of them, "not lately" was yesterday.
SkyeDS: anyway, I came to you because I believe in asking people
themselves
evile: You are fishing, and I dont' appreciate it.
evile: I didn't talk to anyone yesterday. I was at work and then I
went home and checked on Sweetie and then I went to Krav Maga. So unless
you are saying you talked with Sweetie, [aunt L], [uncle B], [Cousin B], or Father Jim, no.
SkyeDS: this is obviously upsetting you, and that was not my intent.
perhaps best to let it lie?
evile: I just really dont' get why you needed to ask this now,and I
don't believe you are being straightforward with why.
SkyeDS: I have never been anything BUT straightforward
SkyeDS: and don't make me point out that the same cannot be said for
you
SkyeDS: I'm asking to disengage, please.
evile: OK
evile: I really am sorry if sineater is upsetting you....but as I've told
him many times before, it's best to just approach people directly and
talk directly to them, instead of putting people in the middle. I am
sorry if you're upset with me, and even sorrier that it isn't even
for anything I actually did/said. If I'm going to be in trouble, I at
least want the satisfaction of being bad.
SkyeDS: that, actually, is what I was trying to do
SkyeDS: and upset you in the process, which wasn't intentional
SkyeDS: (trying to do = approach you directly)
evile: tell him you dont' want to be in the middle of whatever his
fights are with me, kaleon, chris, whoever.
evile: it's not your job and not your fight, and the peace between
you and I is far too tenuous to strain with such things.
evile: I dont' want to be at odds with you.
evile: I'm sorry that you dont' feel I'm trustworthy.
evile: There probably isn't anything I can say or do to fix that.
SkyeDS: If I wasn't going to give credence to your answer I wouldn't
have asked.
evile: OK
evile: well, time for me to book. Have a good evening. I'm here for
talking.
SkyeDS: wind to your wings :)