Quora: Why do narcissists thrive on exclusion?

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Why do narcissists thrive on exclusion?

 Narcissists thrive on conflict and chaos; exclusion is only one tool in their tool box for creating conflict and chaos.

Part of the narc’s pathology is believing that they are superior to others and must interact only with other superior beings. From this standpoint, it’s easy to see why they crave membership in exclusive groups, so that they can have people to look down on, and also so that other members of the exclusive group can confirm to them that they are indeed special in some way.

On the other side of the coin, if they are excluded from membership in a group, that also gives them supply in that they can create conflict and chaos over being excluded. Being told they aren’t a good fit for a group, or that they are being let go from a group, gives them the opportunity to badmouth group members & leadership, and go tell their sad story of being kicked out or denied admittance to their flying monkeys/negative advocates.

Either way it’s a win for the narcissist. They get drama and attention out of it, no matter how it plays out.

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