3249icq w/Sharjinka

[evile]

May 31, 2005

 

 

evile: I missed you at the park Sunday :(.
Sharjinka: I'm sorry. I was busy moving a dryer from my sister's.....
Sharjinka: I didn't realize how tiring that would be.
evile: everyone thought you were probably playing WoW
Sharjinka: I did....later in the evening...

evile: Skye_ds's on. I told her I wasn't going to initiate
contact...we'll see if she does. Or if I'm getting the silent
treatment. what.ever.

Sharjinka: But I was moving the dryer and replacing the cord. I
didn't realize how long it'd take.
evile: *nod* that's heavy stuff.
Sharjinka: Haven't heard from her. ;-) It doesn't exactly depress
me.
evile: nope.
evile: She left right after I got to the park on Sunday; boo hoo.
Sharjinka: :-D
Sharjinka: What time did you get there?
evile: Oh...maybe 3 or so? I don't really remember. They went to eat.
evile: maybe more like 4.
Sharjinka: Should've come earlier.... ;-) I'm sure the boys would
love that.

evile: we'll see if it's a repeatable experiment.
Sharjinka: I wonder if she'll leave if I show up.....
Sharjinka: My popularity might go up. ;-) j/k (I'm horrible)
evile: It would be worth checking out. Kim was there and Skye_ds
hadn't left...so apparently she only leaves for some 'bad guys'
Sharjinka: I didn't realize that she and Kim weren't on good terms.
evile: Kim Sylvana kim.
Sharjinka: Yeah....little Kim?

evile: Yeah. She didn't like Little Kim telling her how to manage her
men and horses.
evile: Little Kim is a troublemaker who tried to get me to help
her...I told her that if I saw signs of abuse to the animals, I would
call the proper authorities, and that was that.
Sharjinka: She is very controlling.... I noticed her ordering Dani
around a bit.... I think she believes that Dani needs a mother
type.
evile: Kim is controlling or Skye_ds is controlling? I think they
share many of the same personality defects, which is why they don't
get along.
Sharjinka: Yeah....I've noticed that.... Kim is controlling but
Skye_ds is too.
evile: I don't know which one Dani is
Sharjinka: Ruling Lady.
evile: nope, still dont' know who she is.
evile: what does she look like? do? wear?
Sharjinka: She's a blonde girl. Very bubbly and sweet. Wears a
bodice and has a pirate look about her.
evile: does she date a tall skinny boy with bad teeth and a puppy?
Sharjinka: I'm not sure.
Sharjinka: She was dating Shamus.
evile: Does she live someplace wierd? Connolly or Connor or some
place liek that?
Sharjinka: I think so, yes. :-) Up north - near Waco.
evile: Ok. She was a snot to me on Sunday.
Sharjinka: I'm sorry. She's usually not like that. Maybe the RL
thing is going to her head.
evile: *shrug* I don't know her, I wasn't introduced, so I don't
really care.
Sharjinka: Okay. I should introduce you. Maybe she was just having
an off day.
evile: No telling. Skye_ds was talking to her before they all left for
lunch/dinner. So maybe that put her in a bad mood. Or maybe A told
her some bad stuff about me. wahtever.
Sharjinka: Might have been. Sounds like something she'd do.
evile: *shrug* I don't really care. If it makes A. feel better, she
can say wahtever she likes.
evile: Small Kim was full of nasty stuff on Sunday....mostly I think
because she was frustrated that her IDs were stolen, but then instead
of just dealing with that, she was talking smack about every other
woman out on the field. It was just...icky.
evile: I still don't have an effective way of dealing with people who
want to share all kinds of rude gossip and nasty TMI....without being
unspeakably rude myself, that is.
Sharjinka: I know what you mean. I just listen to it most of the
time.
evile: nod and smile. I just end up feeling so icky afterwards,
though....I don't want to be one of those kinds of people, I don't
want to be perceived as being like that simply because I allow them
to unload poison at me.
Sharjinka: I know what you mean but I never know what to do.
evile: me either.
Sharjinka: I do the smile and nod thing too.
evile: She gave me her AIM info and email and I'm just going to lose
it...I don't need that negtive garbage in my life, and I have a
shitty enough time trying to get along with sineater and Skye_ds without
being seen as cozying up to one of 'their enemies'
Sharjinka: I can understand that. Didn't know she was the enemy
though. ;-)
evile: Once you do or say something bad to/about her once, you're the
enemy forever.
evile: She may make nice to you if there's something she needs from
you, but that's about it.
Sharjinka: Okay.... I'll keep that in mind.
evile: And even if you do somehow manage to talk it through and get
back on speaking terms, teh next time something comes up, she'll
throw it back in your face again and again and never forget that you
done her wrong, once, a million years ago.
Sharjinka: I believe it. I'm expecting it.
evile: *nod*
Sharjinka: *sigh*
evile: If at all possible, it would be good to unite the knights of
Drandmir to ALL say "NO, equestrian combat was not voted in by an
Althing, HFS does not allow or sanction them, if you want to do them,
it's your business, but it's not an HFS activity"
evile: and that way she won't just be mad at mean ol Jinx. It can
be 'all of them' against her, the way she thinks it is anyway.
Sharjinka: Okay. Well....I know that Nezz, Thax, Mark, Steve, and I
are against it. I'm pretty sure Jose is against it but I'm not sure.
Sharjinka: At least, not absolutely sure. I can talk to him at A-Kon
about it.
evile: *nod* She gets away with a lot of shit because people don't
feel it's worth the hassle...but at some point, especially when
people are in danger and the HFS is threatened...people need to step
up and say "No" to her.
Sharjinka: I'm getting ready to. She can still do it; it's just not
affiliated with HFS.
evile: *nod* exactly.
Sharjinka: Any way I say it to her....she's not going to like it.
evile: which is why it needs to not come from you or 'you as
Sharjinka', it needs to come from you, you as representative of the
Knights of DRandmir, as a Reeve, in an official capacity.
evile: And, honestly, if you can sic someone on her who doesn't like
her already and she knows it...all the better for you.
Sharjinka: I don't know if anyone wants to deal with her. The
Drandmir mentality is to ignore what you don't like and hope it goes
away on its own.
evile: she is just not that good at picking up hints. someone is
going to have to step up and say "you are endangering our populous,
you didn't clear this battle game and rules in an althing, we can't
keep you from being at the park, but we can tell you this isn't an
HFS game you're playing"
evile: and if someone falls, gets hurt or killed, it's going to be on
HER not HFS.
Sharjinka: I agree.
Sharjinka: Usually all the unpopular jobs fall to me. I'm really
beginning to dislike it.
Sharjinka: *sigh*
evile: well, make someone else step up. Maybe even someone she still
likes/respects (prophet?)...this isn't a personal attack against her,
even though that's how she's going to read it. It's a matter of
safety, and HFS procedures for starting new games/new rules
Sharjinka: Yeah....I know. *sigh*
evile: A bunch of the gals, maybe a couple of the guys, are going
tubing on Sunday the 5th in San Marcos if you're interested.
Sharjinka: I just don't know if I want her angry at every belt out
there.
Sharjinka: Oh, darn it! I'm going to A-Kon. :-D
Sharjinka: Sorry.
evile: the sooner she gets pissed off at enough people, the sooner
she'll leave.
Sharjinka: There's a goal. ;-)
evile: this isn't about personalities, or who likes who, or being
mad...this is a legitimate concern for the health and safety of the
people who play at HFS.
evile: she keeps trying ot make it personal, and you keep letting her
take it to that level. It's NOT.
Sharjinka: I wish all her "expertise" made me feel better about it.
evile: even if she was as good as she says she is, she hasn't been
trained by SCA in their reeve-stuff, and she is only 1 person,
whereas SCA has several people on th ground, all well-trained, for
every mounted person.
Sharjinka: That's the part that makes me nervous. This is very new
territory and we don't have many people trained for it.
evile: she gets too busy flapping her yap and doesn't watch her
animals, so even if she was an expert, her attention isn't what it
shoudl be to be safe.
Sharjinka: I agree. *sigh*
evile: it's not personal, you aren't attacking her expertise or her
personality, you are pointing out that it's not safe and wasn't
vetted properly through channels to be an HFS game.
Sharjinka: *sigh* She doesn't see it that way.
evile: and if you keep it on that level, regardless of her temper
tantrums and wanting to make it personal, eventually it may get
through her head. Or she may leave. win win either way, IMHO.
Sharjinka: True. :-D
evile: What it boils down to, personality wise, is that in SCA she's
a small fish i a big pond; there are lots of people with horses and a
lot of them are better trainers & riders than she is. HFS she feels
like the biggest fish because she's the only fish, ya know? Make it
clear that she's not a fish at all, and she may go swimming elsewhere.
Sharjinka: Good metaphor and I figured that was the case.
Sharjinka: :-)
evile: just make it clear that it's not personal,and it's not just as
yourself that you are speaking (better yet, get Nezz or someone else
to talk to her, or several of you speak to her together)...and maybe
this will get resolved before anyone gets hurt.
Sharjinka: That's a good idea. I just need to make it out to the
park!
evile: *nod*
Sharjinka: I don't think I'll be there next Sunday because of A-Kon.
evile: yeah. I know a lot of people going to that.
Sharjinka: :-D I'm so weird. Steve and Xavier are going too.
evile: that's gonna be awesome :)
Sharjinka: Yep, yep! I can't wait. A-Kon is so neat. I'm going to
get my hair done, pack up costumes, etc. I feel like a drag
queen....sort of. ;-)
Sharjinka: I get so girly about this!
evile: heehee. Awesome!
Sharjinka: :-D
evile: I"m back. I had to get to the credit union before they closed
at 2.
Sharjinka: No problem.
evile: With the exception of Skye_ds, Nikiyoy really liked HFS on Sunday;
we may go out again so she can actually play.
Sharjinka: Awesome! I'd love her to join. I think she'd have fun.
evile: I think so too :)
Sharjinka: :-D
evile: I think she'd kick a lot of ass, too.
Sharjinka: I do too. Kind of scary: the idea of her swinging a
sword. Lot of potential power.
evile: *nod*
Sharjinka: :-)
evile: she played with the football girls for a while
Sharjinka: Wow.
evile: I don't think she ever played in any actual league games, just
the scrimmages on Sundays. She's also fenced.
Sharjinka: Cool.
evile: I don't know how good a fencer she is. But one of Pace's
friends does the boffer sword thing and Nikiyoy has played with them. No
actual 'rules' like HFS has, but just general beating up type
stufff :P
Sharjinka: She should be very good then. :-)
evile: Pace's friend is better. But yeah.
Sharjinka: :-D
evile: Pace's friend is some sort of transgendered person...and I'm
not sure how the HFS kids would react, so I haven't suggested HFS to
Pace's freind.
Sharjinka: Wow.
evile: yeah.
Sharjinka: We had a complete loon come out a few years ago and really
scared the kids.
evile: Pace's friend is nice, but ...
Sharjinka: Oh.....
evile: yeah.
Sharjinka: I'm worried. This is my first work day away from Pip.
evile: I guess you'll see how that went when you get home.
Sharjinka: True. I hope my home is still okay when I get there.
evile: it'll be important for you to learn this now, rather than
after you've made a 100% commitment.
Sharjinka: True, but I feel committed already. ;-)
evile: yeah, I know you're emotionally involved...but you also have
to be sure he can handle the life he'd have with you, on a normal day
to day non holiday weekend basis.
Sharjinka: True.
evile: I wish I could come to your craft night tomorrow.
Sharjinka: Yeah....I had forgotten about it and Jose asked me if I
planned to have one. I told him yes. ;-) I hope folks don't mind
the dog. He is fairly big.
evile: well...1) it's your house, if people dn't like the dog, they
can go elsewhere. and 2) if this dog is going to be a permanent part
of your life, everyone is going to have to get used to it.
Sharjinka: Very true. He does have a sweet disposition and I think
the trial period will be over at the end of next weekend.
evile: *nod*
Sharjinka: Poor thing. I put a muzzle on him during the day.
evile: My friend peglegasus puts his Weimaraner in a cage during the day
when he's not home.
Sharjinka: I didn't have the heart to do that. I was giving a pee
pee training rag for him. He's housebroken but he's not used to my
hours yet. His foster home had a 2pm to 10pm work schedule.
Sharjinka: given a training rag.
evile: *nod*
Sharjinka: He hasn't had any accidents at my home but he looks so
pathetic with his rag and muzzle on....
evile: I guess that's why this is a trial period for you as well as
him...to see if you can handle being a dog owner.
Sharjinka: True. It has been over 14 years old since I've dealt with
a dog.
evile: animals need discipline and firm limits on behavior. otherwise
they get neurotic and misbehave. It's crueler IMHO not to have
discipline, or only intermittent discipline.
Sharjinka: Yes. I know. I'm trying to be firm from the start.
evile: *nod*
Sharjinka: I also need to discipline him at the door. He wants to
leave with me and tries to push past me. I'm not sure what to do.
I'm consulting the greyhound manual tonight. ;-)
evile: yeah...that could be a problem.
Sharjinka: It has been. He's a strong animal.
evile: yup. I think once he has it firmly in mind that youre Alpha,
you wil lhave a much easier time getting him to stay.
Sharjinka: Yeah. I think he already knows that I'm a leader in some
way.
Sharjinka: :-)
evile: but still testing to see what he can get away with :)
Sharjinka: Yes, he is testing me. My Dad used to be a bit harsh on
the discipline with the family dog.
Sharjinka: I'm not sure what to do yet. I plan to consult books and
see what they suggest.
evile: *nod*
evile: You don't have to be mean, but you do have to be firm and
consistent.
Sharjinka: I'm on my way out. ;-) I plan to be.
evile: OK *hugs*
Sharjinka: *hugs* Thanks for all the support and encouragement.
evile: No problem, girlfriend.