The Pleasant Person Act
Nov. 30th, 2009 12:45 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
evilefrom Taming Your Gremlin by Rick Carson
THE PLEASANT PERSON ACT
Acting can be fun as long as you clearly understand that you are not your act. A good act can get you some strokes, help you win friends, and help you make a living. Some of the most uptight people I know have good acts. So, puleez, if you get into acting, enjoy it! Just don't take your act too seriously. You risk a feeling of real emptiness if you do. Acting should be thought of as practical, as experimentation, as a good time; even as a well-planned manipulation, as conscious pretensiousness, or as entertainment. Some acts are, of course, better than others. You'll be best served to select an act that is consistent with the natural you.
The Pleasant Person Act is one of the most popular. I asked several of my clients, students, and colleagues about this act. All were aware of it, and some have used it as a base from which they have created their own unique performing style. I was surprised by the degree of agreement I found among those I consulted as to the essential attributes of the Pleasant Person Act. Here they are:
* Listen more than you talk.
* Speak softly, but audibly.
* Don't repeat yourself.
* Use no more words than necessary.
* Make eye contact without staring.
* Pay attention to what you see.
* Don't chew your mustache (or anyone else's).
* Brush your teeth at least twice a day.
* Don't make noises when you breathe.
* Breathe fully but not heavily.
* Don't eat onions or garlic before social engagements. [my note: unless everyone else does too!]
* Dress in [clean!] clothes that fit you and feel good.
* Sit straight but not rigid.
* Don't brag.
* Be friendly.
* Shake hands firmly but don't overdo it.
* Verbally acknowledge your discomfort when you notice it.
* Verbally acknowledge your lack of understanding when you are aware of it.
* Ask questions and reflect on the answers.
* Be kind to animals.
* Don't repeat yourself.
* Look for things to like and comment on them.
* Keep your body and hair clean.
* Make a daily checklist of things to do.
* Don't do two of them
* Do the rest.
* Exercise several times a week.
* When having a conversation with a child, kneel down to his or her eye level.
* Don't expect children to act like adults.
* Don't call people names.
* Don't talk badly behind people's backs.
* To a third party, say something nice abotu someone else.
* Keep your body relaxed.
* Don't force a smile.
* Don't interrupt.
* Go slowly.
* Use a lot of simple sentences.
* Don't repeat yourself.
* Don't use a monotone.
* Use good grammar.
* Be respectful to your elders--no exeptions.
* When people visit you, make them comfortable.
* Do not wear too much cologne or perfume.
* Keep agreements.
* Respect other cultures' customs
* Do more than your part to keep the planet clean.
* Keep the temperature comfortable in your dwelling.
* Wake up early.
* Don't pick your teeth in public.
* Cover your mouth when you cough.
* Leave well enough alone.
* Remember names.
* Don't tell ethnic jokes or make racial slurs.
* Ask clearly & explicitly for what you want.
* Take responsibility for being clearly understood.
* Listen carefully to what others say.
* Ask for clarification when you are uncertain.
* Write legibly.
* Don't ask rhetorical questions.
* Don't overeat.
* Be in the midst of learning something new.
* Accept what is obvious.
* Change your routine once a week.
* Change this routine once in a while.
* Limit your intake of sugar without being obsessive about it.
* Give up trying to be something special.
* Don't smoke.
* Don't get obviously drunk or slur your words.
* Don't physically hurt any living thing.
* When in a dialogue, get in touch with the part of you that is nosy but not intrusive, remembering that real life is far more interesting than television.
* Don't be anxious to verbalize a parallel from your own experience.
* Don't act out your joy to the point of being phony.
* Don't let your sadness turn you into the kind of grump that's a pain in the ass to be with.
* Do not use hair slick'um.
* Don't repeat yourself.
....
Remember, you're not your act.
Acting can be fun as long as you clearly understand that you are not your act. A good act can get you some strokes, help you win friends, and help you make a living. Some of the most uptight people I know have good acts. So, puleez, if you get into acting, enjoy it! Just don't take your act too seriously. You risk a feeling of real emptiness if you do. Acting should be thought of as practical, as experimentation, as a good time; even as a well-planned manipulation, as conscious pretensiousness, or as entertainment. Some acts are, of course, better than others. You'll be best served to select an act that is consistent with the natural you.
The Pleasant Person Act is one of the most popular. I asked several of my clients, students, and colleagues about this act. All were aware of it, and some have used it as a base from which they have created their own unique performing style. I was surprised by the degree of agreement I found among those I consulted as to the essential attributes of the Pleasant Person Act. Here they are:
* Listen more than you talk.
* Speak softly, but audibly.
* Don't repeat yourself.
* Use no more words than necessary.
* Make eye contact without staring.
* Pay attention to what you see.
* Don't chew your mustache (or anyone else's).
* Brush your teeth at least twice a day.
* Don't make noises when you breathe.
* Breathe fully but not heavily.
* Don't eat onions or garlic before social engagements. [my note: unless everyone else does too!]
* Dress in [clean!] clothes that fit you and feel good.
* Sit straight but not rigid.
* Don't brag.
* Be friendly.
* Shake hands firmly but don't overdo it.
* Verbally acknowledge your discomfort when you notice it.
* Verbally acknowledge your lack of understanding when you are aware of it.
* Ask questions and reflect on the answers.
* Be kind to animals.
* Don't repeat yourself.
* Look for things to like and comment on them.
* Keep your body and hair clean.
* Make a daily checklist of things to do.
* Don't do two of them
* Do the rest.
* Exercise several times a week.
* When having a conversation with a child, kneel down to his or her eye level.
* Don't expect children to act like adults.
* Don't call people names.
* Don't talk badly behind people's backs.
* To a third party, say something nice abotu someone else.
* Keep your body relaxed.
* Don't force a smile.
* Don't interrupt.
* Go slowly.
* Use a lot of simple sentences.
* Don't repeat yourself.
* Don't use a monotone.
* Use good grammar.
* Be respectful to your elders--no exeptions.
* When people visit you, make them comfortable.
* Do not wear too much cologne or perfume.
* Keep agreements.
* Respect other cultures' customs
* Do more than your part to keep the planet clean.
* Keep the temperature comfortable in your dwelling.
* Wake up early.
* Don't pick your teeth in public.
* Cover your mouth when you cough.
* Leave well enough alone.
* Remember names.
* Don't tell ethnic jokes or make racial slurs.
* Ask clearly & explicitly for what you want.
* Take responsibility for being clearly understood.
* Listen carefully to what others say.
* Ask for clarification when you are uncertain.
* Write legibly.
* Don't ask rhetorical questions.
* Don't overeat.
* Be in the midst of learning something new.
* Accept what is obvious.
* Change your routine once a week.
* Change this routine once in a while.
* Limit your intake of sugar without being obsessive about it.
* Give up trying to be something special.
* Don't smoke.
* Don't get obviously drunk or slur your words.
* Don't physically hurt any living thing.
* When in a dialogue, get in touch with the part of you that is nosy but not intrusive, remembering that real life is far more interesting than television.
* Don't be anxious to verbalize a parallel from your own experience.
* Don't act out your joy to the point of being phony.
* Don't let your sadness turn you into the kind of grump that's a pain in the ass to be with.
* Do not use hair slick'um.
* Don't repeat yourself.
....
Remember, you're not your act.
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no subject
Date: 2009-11-30 07:17 pm (UTC)Do not use hair slick'um."
LOL!
I would totally <3 a slick mustache chewer, though.
no subject
Date: 2009-12-02 06:06 pm (UTC)and I'm a child of the 80's, so slicked hair will always be something that I hold dear to my heart. (rockabilly grease, however, is RIGHT OUT, because I don't have a spare set of sheets, towels, pillows, and appropriate cleaning products--my friend Tura once posted a thing about having rockabilly boys over to your house that was HILARIOUS, mostly because it was about how to clean up the grease spots after they'd left :P )
no subject
Date: 2009-11-30 11:16 pm (UTC)This makes me think of a recent convo where it was discussed that Deal Breakers are often just plain & simple *turn offs*. This list is classic. Add to: No mouth breathers. LOL
no subject
Date: 2009-12-02 06:12 pm (UTC)I don't think any of those things make one automatically a 'good person'...I think those are just things that are part of the social contract, unwritten rules of 'how people are supposed to act in public'
Being on the fringes of various groups of freaks, geeks, and wierdos, one comes to realize that a "pleasant person" is not necessarily a GOOD person, and someone lacking in hygeine, or prone to repeating themselves, or uncomfortable around children, is not necessarily a BAD person. We are not our acts.
no subject
Date: 2009-12-02 06:17 pm (UTC)I know I know
Date: 2009-12-08 08:59 pm (UTC)BUT, in case anyone was interested, this part of the book I was reading for my own improvement just tied in so incredibly well with a couple of conversations I'd been having in LJ with a couple of different people, I figured I'd post it & see if it shook anything else loose for me & those friends, or seemed interesting to anyone else.
One conversation (http://idiomagic.livejournal.com/182460.html?thread=1673148#t1673148) was/is public, and was the main inspiration for me to post this quote.
The other was in a locked post, so I won't be reposting the details here. Basically more of 'how we come across to others/ taking responsibility for our behavior instead of assuming people are persecuting us because of some factor that is outside our control, such as race or gender.'
I had been racking my brain to try and figure out where the latest batch of crazy-sauce (http://griffen.livejournal.com/1763227.html) came from, and this is the only post I can see that someone might have read and decided to interpret as a personal attack. I don't understand WHY this post would be considered offensive, but apparently it was.
That was not my intention.
no subject
Date: 2009-12-27 02:01 am (UTC)* Make eye contact without staring.
* Pay attention to what you see.
* Verbally acknowledge your discomfort when you notice it.
* Keep your body relaxed.
* Remember names.
* Don't ask rhetorical questions.
* Change your routine once a week.
* Change this routine once in a while.
* Don't get obviously drunk or slur your words.
Whoops....