Feb. 28th, 2005

evile: (clutter)
 

 

    Feb. 28, 2005

     

     

    evile: hey :) Great party!
    Sharjinka: Thanks!
    Sharjinka: Thanks so much for coming. It's always great to see
    you. :-)
    evile: Thanks for inviting me. You have a really great group of
    friends.
    Sharjinka: Thanks. I think they said things to just get on your
    nerves. I'm sorry if they did.
    evile: why do you think that?
    Sharjinka: I just thought they were saying provoking things. Poly
    amorous discussion and all that.
    Sharjinka: Although....I found the topic fascinating.
    evile: I'm lucky I am pretty oblivious to people trying to peeve me.
    I thought the discussion was very interesting, as well.
    evile: I'm hetero/mono, I have friends who are poly, if not for them
    I would believe that Poly means 'swinger' and all of that.
    evile: Hell, if the only poly person you know is "skye", then I think
    a lot of your preconceptions are pretty justified.
    Sharjinka: I still have a bit of trouble with the concept. But I'm
    not as bad as I used to be.

    evile: It would not work for me, personally, but I don't think I
    really have any right to judge anyone else.
    Sharjinka: The more you meet and the more you understand, the better
    off you are, I think.
    evile: true. I think there are some people who are so socially
    challenged, they can't even make hetero/mono work. So...definitely
    depends on the person :)
    Sharjinka: I agree. My Mom had to help me understand homos. ;-) It
    took a while to learn but I think she was the best at teaching me not
    to judge others. :-) She's such a mono/hetero straight-type that
    she was perfect for teaching me.
    Sharjinka: I learned about homos late and my first knee jerk reaction
    was terrible. :-(
    evile: LOL :)
    Sharjinka: I was a sexual perv to....I wanted to know how exactly it
    worked.... (I learned as a sexually curious 14 year old what
    homosexual meant.)
    evile: Live and learn, as they say.
    Sharjinka: I just didn't think that worked..... It was like putting
    two positives or two negatives together - no charge. ;-)
    evile: *lol!!!*
    Sharjinka: I kept on wanting Mom to explain HOW it worked.
    evile: oh, dear. I'm sure that was not a conversation she wanted to
    have with you...
    Sharjinka: I'm sure she didn't!!! She told me I had it all wrong. I
    was thinking of the act and not the relationship. She bought tickets
    to La Cage Aux Folles and took me to it.
    evile: heee! That ROCKS!
    Sharjinka: When the play was over, she asked it I understood now. It
    wasn't negative or positive, it was love. :-) Tougher to explain
    scientifically but a human emotion that I should understand and that
    everyone should be allowed to feel and experience. Not so much
    gender, just overall.
    Sharjinka: Good lesson from my Mom. She's good about that sort of
    thing. God bless her.
    evile: *nod* sounds like between the 2 of them, you got a pretty
    balanced upbringing from your parents :)
    Sharjinka: Yeah...Dad is still a bit homophobic but he was hit on a
    lot while in the Navy. Poor guy. I think he's also a bit scared to
    express any "feminine" side of his personality. I've learned to be
    very tolerant of Dad's attitudes. He sometimes can't help them.....
    evile: Yeah, there is a big generation gap in some situations, that's
    for sure.
    Sharjinka: Yes....and I try to respect Dad's attitude. The entire
    family gets on him when he goes a bit overboard. :-)
    Sharjinka: Hey! Do you have the "I'm a banana" website??? Please!!!
    evile: Oh, yeah. It's www.bitterfilms.com
    Sharjinka: Thanks so much!!
    evile: You're welcome :)
    Sharjinka: :-) Cool, I have it bookmarked now.
    evile: awesome. :) I will probably end up getting my own copy of
    that someday, it's too funny to wait for whenever Spike & Mike decide
    to show it
    Sharjinka: I agree. A friend of mine showed me it on DVD. I got to
    laughing so hard, they had to pause so I could run to the
    restroom. ;-) Too funy and probably TMI. ;-)
    evile: heehee! at least you made it to the restroom!
    Sharjinka: True! I could not believe how funny it was.
    evile: I am always so impressed with how creative some people can be.
    Sharjinka: Me too. I love the silly.
    evile: *nodnod*
    Sharjinka: :-D
    evile: How late did y'all end up staying up afte I left?
    Sharjinka: I went to bed around 6:15am.
    evile: wow! and then went to the park, too?
    Sharjinka: Yes, but pulled a leg muscle really bad and went home
    early.
    evile: ouch! That SUCKS!
    Sharjinka: Yeah....I hadn't done that in a long time. The pain shot
    up so quickly and was so bad, I went home an hour later.
    evile: Is it feeling better or are you limping today?
    Sharjinka: Feeling better but still limping today. I came in late.
    evile: Good plan. I hope you don't have too much running around
    planned for today.
    Sharjinka: Nope. Not going skating tomorrow either. I have to work
    on a paper so it works out. I plan to go home, eat, and study at the
    table. ;-)
    evile: sounds like fun!
    Sharjinka: Yep. I'm organizing the ideas in my head for two papers
    so....it should work out. :-)
    evile: I always did better writing at the last minute.
    evile: omfg, sineater just messaged me to say he's leaving Skye_ds. I
    suspect it won't last, but...wow.
    Sharjinka: OMG!!! You're kidding!! Is it for REAL???
    evile: oh, yay, it' smy fault.
    Sharjinka: How is it your fault???
    evile: because I didn't invite her to go to Houston the day that sineater
    and I went to Houston to visit his grandmother & my mom.
    evile: someone is rewriting history to push an agenda, and I can
    guarandamntee you it's not me.
    Sharjinka: I was going to say....how does that work exactly?
    Sharjinka: There I am asking how again! Like when I asked HOW homos
    did it! :-D
    evile: 1) she said "I'm going riding at drandmir sunday X day"
    I was thinking of visiting Houston that day, thought it would be nice
    for sineater to see his fam if he wasn't obligated to go with her. I
    mentioned it to her, she said it was his decision.

    Sharjinka: Okay...with you so far....
    evile: 2) I invited him. He said "OK"
    3) they were in town Saturday evening, I met them and got sineater, we
    wen t to Houston Sunday a.m. and then I took him home Sunday night.
    ALL the way home. Because she said she would not be in g'town long
    enough for me to meet her and sonar0m there
    evile: and in the 2 weeks since it's happened, apparently it's been
    re-written as I told sineater that Skye_ds was not invited, that he asked
    me WHY she wasn't and I didn't answer, or some crazy crap like that.
    Sharjinka: Oh....geez!!!! *sigh*
    Sharjinka: I think she just blames others when her relationships
    don't work out.
    evile: yup. and likes to re-write history to paint herself as
    innocent party.
    Sharjinka: *sigh*
    evile: I don't know what to tell him. He keeps saying he is the one
    at fault, and that he keeps mis-remembering things, when she is the
    one who is twisting shit around. I don't know how to say 'she's a
    fucking nut, get the hell out'./
    Sharjinka: He shouldn't blame himself so much! It takes two!
    evile: i know.
    Sharjinka: *sigh*
    Sharjinka: I have to take off for class..... Is there anything I can
    to help??
    evile: I know that when the abuse victim decides to leave is when
    he/she is in the greatest danger...I have waited foro this for
    years, and now that it's happening I am terrified
    evile: I will keep you posted... *hugs* thanks for being there for me
    & for sineater You are a good friend.
    Sharjinka: I know..... I'm so sorry. I'm sure this is the scariest
    time.
    Sharjinka: Thanks. I really haven't been there too much.
    evile: enough. every caring person in his life is a lifeline back to
    sanity...
    Sharjinka: Thanks. :-) When I get back from nutball religion
    class....I'll get back online. :-D
    evile: OK. have good class :)

     

evile: (deadmoon)

    Feb. 28, 2005

     

     

    evile: *hugs* I don't really know what to say...sineater says ya'll are
    having some problems. I'm really sorry to hear it.
    SkyeDS: the last 14 years of my life was a lie perpetrated on me, and
    I don't really want to talk about it.
    evile: Ok.

evile: (deadmoon)

    Feb. 28, 2005

     

     

    Sineater: need to talk
    evile: Ok. what's up?
    Sineater: i have to leave Skye_ds. i don't like her, never treated her
    like i like her
    Sineater: i have to face that i choose everybody over her. been
    evile: *hugs* i'm sorry to hear that...
    Sineater: i make excuses not to sped tim with her instead of being
    honest and saying i don't want to spend time with her

    Sineater: i keep lying to her and lyting to myself and it's killing
    her
    evile: It's not good for you, either...
    Sineater: i need to stop being stubborn and trying to be what i'm not
    and not admitting what i do and why i do
    Sineater: because i can't be any different if i not honest about what
    i do and what i am
    evile: I know you've both worked on the relationship a lot. I'm
    sorry to hear this. It sounds like you've gotten as far as you ccan
    without professional help, or separation...? :(
    Sineater: because tring to be different without dealing with the
    problems inside of me makes me a liar. i can't be any better if i
    avoid the real problem
    Sineater: don't know if any of that will help
    Sineater: she can change. why can't i?
    Sineater: she has gotten better, i fall down again and again. she
    stays better, i get better and then go back to the worst again
    evile: FWIW, I think your'e entirely too hard on yourself.. but
    sounds like you've made a decision. How can I support you or help you
    in this ?
    Sineater: i need a place to stay
    Sineater: i won't have a vehicle
    evile: what is your time frame on this?
    Sineater: i can't pay rent because i owe her for carrying me
    Sineater: as soon as possible
    evile: Are you or Skye_ds in any immediate danger if you don't leave
    right now?
    evile: It would be a very large change in my household, I need to
    talk with Sweetie before I make any commitment to you.
    Sineater: this happened this morning because i chose you over her and
    didn't even tell her for two weeks
    Sineater: not have to be with you
    evile: what are you talking about? 'chose [me] over her?'
    Sineater: chose to go with you to houston even though you didn't want
    her to go
    evile: You are making an assumption that did not exist. She had
    shared in her LJ much earlier that week that she planned to ride and
    hang out in Drandmir that day.
    Sineater: she wanted to come, i asked you why she couldn't come?
    evile: I said if you didn't plan on going with her, you were welcome
    to come with me.
    evile: No, you did not ask me any such thing.
    evile: and neither did she, for that m atter.
    Sineater: tryingto understand why i don't like her. doesn''t make
    sense
    Sineater: she pointed out i always treatet her the same way. never
    called her, asked her out, wanted to do things with her
    Sineater: i thought i did earlier on, but she is rght, i didn't. i
    remember it different than it was. i lie to myself
    evile: I have thoughts on this, but I don't think you are in a good
    place to hear them.
    Sineater: same as how i always think i am getting better, doing
    better than i am
    Sineater: please tell me
    evile: While I am discussing with Sweetie, I need you to think about your
    next steps. Gather paperwork that you need, (ID, ss card, pay stubs,
    names and info on your doctors) Pack clothing. etc.
    Sineater: look, i need to know. how for instance did i treat her when
    we came to sa that time? did i spend any time with her, did i talk to
    her? i don't think i did. i think i spent the whole time talking to
    everybody else
    evile: when?
    Sineater: sorry. 1991? think
    evile: Honey, that was a LONG time ago, I've slept since then.
    Sineater: no one is in any danger. you don't have to throw your house
    into chaos
    Sineater: i know, me too. i think i remember it a certain way but i
    don't know
    evile: Skye_ds, OTOH, seems to remember every wrong that was ever done
    to her, from the time she ws a child and her parents did bad things,
    to 10 years ago, to yesterday. and it keeps hurting her as if it had
    just happened, whenever she thinks about it.
    Sineater: nod, but she also remembers all the good things. she
    doesn't bring up the bad things unless we fight
    Sineater: i forget things right aftger they happened, even act like
    everythig is the same
    evile: I don't know what to tell you, sineater. What do you want here?
    are you leaving forever? Are you divorcing? is this the fight that
    will lead back to a honeymoon phase?
    Sineater: no honeymoon phase. don't want ti to be forever but neither
    one of us can go on like this. i'm tearing her apart even when i'm
    trying not to and it's killing us
    Sineater: got to stop and i think my stubbornness is what's keeping
    me trying even though i end up hurting her.
    Sineater: can't admit i don't like her. have to come to terms with
    that. if i am in la la land, but everything shows i am wrong, then i
    am wrong.
    evile: I have discovered that I can love someone alot and not like
    them as a person...
    Sineater: yeah but can you live with that???
    evile: And for my own sanity and well being I have to back away and
    not be with them.
    evile: Obviously I can live with that, because I *do*.
    Sineater: he is honest with you. he doesn't lie to you about his
    feelings
    Sineater: if he weren't, how could you deal with that?
    evile: You aren't going to get far by comparing any relationship of
    yours with any other person's. this isn't about me and ___, it's
    about you and Skye_ds, totally different situation, different people,
    etc.
    evile: There are deal breakers for me, that are not the same thing as
    yours or Skye_ds's.
    evile: Can I ask you...if you remember A happening, and I remember A
    happening, and 4 other pepole believe A happened, and Skye_ds
    remembers B happening...why do you always end up believing that B
    happened?
    Sineater: do you think i should have kept her in a marriage for 14
    years by lying to her?
    evile: I don't know why you stayed together for 14 years, sineater. It's
    not productive to go there, for me.
    Sineater: don't think that's ever happened. if other people believe
    it, she talks to them, they come to agreement
    evile: I can think of a very recent situation in which that exact
    thing happened.
    Sineater: i've lied to her about how i felt our entire marriage, even
    before. i don't understand why
    Sineater: ?
    evile: I'm sorry you're feeling so down on yourself, and so negative
    about your marriage...I wish there was something I could do or say to
    help you feel better. I know you've tried, I've seen you make a lot
    of sacrifices for your marital happiness
    Sineater: well yeah, we both have. this is how i've been, and i've
    been lying to myself about being happy, and behaving better than i
    was. i see it usually right when i fuck up
    evile: Other things you may want to gather up: property records to
    show ownership (house, land, bird, horses), checkbook, financial
    statements from bank(s).
    Sineater: i know i have not been honest with her about how i fel.
    what i say i feel and how i treater her don't match. i can be sweet
    or good sometimes, and those times stick in my mind and i think
    that's all i've been. but, when i sit down and think about it, or
    look at a calendar and count the days where i did something nice, or
    spent time with her, it's always less than i think it was
    Sineater: that's all done
    evile: Ok.
    evile: How are we going to get you to Austin/my house?
    evile: I am going to need to talk this over with Sweetie in person, I
    think. It's not anything I really feel comfortable discussing on the
    phone while at work and in my cube.
    Sineater: hold on, trying to work this out before it leaves my mind.
    why is it that i think one way and act a completely different way?
    why is it i cannot admit even to myself how i feel??? why?
    evile: sineater, I think your perceptions of thngs are not very clear,
    and have not been for quite some time. Beating up on yourself is not
    helpful.
    Sineater: i have convinced her that i do not like her by not wanting
    to spend time with her, not wanting to do things with her, or talk to
    her, or take her out, or anything. but, i have convinced myself that
    i do like her, do spend time with her etc, and the objective truth
    is, i don't. i can say for instance i wantto go riding at the park on
    sunday, but i can't remember for instance the least time i didn't
    just not feel like it and stayed home. why this huge gap beween what
    i say and how i act?
    Sineater: not beating up on myself here, trying to understand why i
    do things. i don't make sense to me.
    Sineater: trying to sort this out. it doesn't make sense to me.
    evile: I don't want you to think I'm badmouthing Skye_ds, so I really
    don't feel like there's much I can say here.
    Sineater: this is what i see me do.
    evile: As far as the sunday we went to Houston, she mentioned at
    least a week beforehand she was going to be at San Gabriel Park, she
    then posted in LJ that Sunday was her special day with M, to
    celebrate Valentine's day.
    evile: And here we are 2 weeks later, and she's telling you (and
    you're telling you) that you and I deliberately left her out of OUR
    plans, that I was asked if she could come and said 'no'...and none
    of that happened.
    Sineater: i remember asknig you that though.
    evile: I am not going to fuss and argue about what did or didn't
    happen in 1991, because that's over 10 years ago, and forgiven and
    forgotten as far as I'm concerned.
    Sineater: understand that . just wanted to know if you remembered,
    wanted to see if i remembered it right
    evile: See, honey, *I* don't. And all evidence shows that SHE had
    plans, long before I made any, so why would she throw away her plans
    with sonar0m and the HFSers to do stuff with me on short notice?
    evile: It would not have made any SENSE for me to invite her, knowing
    she had plans.
    Sineater: wait. wait. i remember asking you if she could come.
    evile: I am not going to argue with you about it. She had plans. I
    knew she had plans. I would never think to demand that someoen
    disrupt their plans with their friends and their sweetie to hang with
    me.
    evile: She made some joke at CM when seeing my rental car about how
    she, sonar0m, and arthur could all fit in, too, and I laughed. I did
    not get the impression that anyone was asking me to invite her.
    Sineater: no, she didn't, i did. before we went
    evile: I'm sorry if that's the way you and Skye_ds remember it.
    evile: I apologize for the misunderstanding.
    Sineater: hey. this is not her. this is what i remember.
    evile: This really isn't a productive side-track for us to get into.
    evile: Sweetie will probaby want a time line. How long do you think
    you'll need to stay with us?
    Sineater: don't know yet.
    Sineater: she has given me an ultimatum, that either my words and my
    actions start matching, one way or the other, or we have to divorce.
    Sineater: sound familiar
    evile: That will be a pretty big sticking point for Sweetie. I don't
    think he will want to commit to 'however long'.
    Sineater: i have thought before i could. and even made some progress.
    don't wantto decide i can do it and then get right back in that cycle
    Sineater: nod, i know. it would be for me too
    evile: If this is a permanent move , there is a chance we can get you
    set up with Nana's home health service, and get you paid to be her
    caretaker.
    Sineater: that is a thought
    evile: but that is not something I'd want to suggest to the family
    unless you were willing to commit to it for a certain amount of time.
    your Uncle B will be back in the states in April, but no idea when he'll be
    getting back to Houston.
    evile: (Just brainstorming here).
    Sineater: question. have i always done things like this? remembered
    thigs that didn't happen? forgot things that did? confused different
    events and people?
    evile: the memory problem, imho, is not you. Or at least not you
    alone.
    Sineater: i owe you an apologiy. i really thoguht i remembered asking
    you if she could go and you saying no, that she would upset K/Mom. if
    i didn't ask you that, ?
    evile: no, you really didn't, as far as I recall. She had plans, why
    would you have assumed she wanted to disrupt them to go with you?
    Sineater: this is something i brought up, i said, out of the blue.
    not prompted or in response to anything
    Sineater: think you are right.
    Sineater: think i remembered saying it and can't remember when
    evile: Sweetie will probably be home around 5:30
    evile: Once he and I talk things over, can I call you at home?
    Sineater: yes, if i don't call you sooner
    evile: OK. I will not be able to make a commitment before getting
    Sweetie's OK. I love you, and I will do what I can, but my household has
    to come first.
    evile: I get home from work around 5 most days (buses willing), you
    are more than welcome to call me at home then.
    Sineater: i know that. i don't wantto put you out. i don't know what
    i'm going to do yet. i feel like i've burned everything up and i
    don't know if i can put anything back together
    Sineater: all i have to do is act as i say. one way or another. why
    is that so hard for me? other people do it all the damn time
    evile: I'd say you're doing everything right. You've got your papers,
    you're not a danger to yourself or Skye_ds, so you're safe, you're
    taking the steps necessary to stay that way. I am sure it's
    terrifying for you---I'm over here shaking, too.
    evile: Do you have any kind of medical insurance right now? Or are
    you totally out of pocket right now while ajilion has you between
    assignments?
    Sineater: as far as an exit. now why do i keep hitting the fucking
    self destruct button? we were doing really well just now
    Sineater: all oop
    evile: OK. You seem really distressed to me. Maybe working on some
    kind of breakdown... I wish you had a health care provider to talk to.
    Sineater: don't mean to alarm you. just trying to sort this out. the
    eternal question, why
    evile: Okay, so let's say that the talk goes well with Sweetie and that
    he gives us the OK to proceed. (I know he will, it's just a matter of
    us needing to establish our boundaries as far as how long you'll
    stay, etc.)
    evile: So then, do you get a ride to Austin, or do we come get you?
    evile: Will it be safe for us to come on to your property?
    Sineater: i am in austin now. don't know yet if i will go back or
    not. trying to sort out if i should try or give up
    evile: Do you have your papers, clothes, etc with you?
    Sineater: no. she said that's ok to get later
    Sineater: she doesn't know if she wants to try or not either. lots of
    bruises
    Sineater: both of us are very stubborn and hard to give up when we've
    worked so hard and all
    evile: I understand.
    evile: Where in Austin are you?
    Sineater: downtown
    evile: wireless cafe? Skye_ds's office? standing on the street corner?
    Sineater: Skye_ds's office
    Sineater: helping her around here because i kept her up so late last
    night :(
    Sineater: not bad, just talking, trying to understand why
    Sineater: we know "what"
    evile: Okay, so will you be at home this evening, or still in Austin?
    Sineater: don't know yet. still talking
    Sineater: she thinks if i can grasp why, that maybe we can keep
    talking. we don't know yet if that's separate, or apart
    evile: If it turns out that you can't or don't want to go home
    tonight, I can book you into a hotel or something...
    evile: (and I do mean you, singular. I don't want room charges for 2
    people, etc.)
    Sineater: no i know
    Sineater: i don't understand why i'm happy with other people but i
    don't like her
    Sineater: puzzles the shit out of me
    Sineater: i can admit it, now why??? geez
    evile: well, who is saying you don't like her...you, or her? and what
    is the proof of this like/dislike?
    Sineater: both of us. i make excuses not to be around her, don't stay
    in the room with her, don't talk much to her a lot of the time
    Sineater: i mean for example. i know i can just say "i don't want to
    go to " wherever, and i know that is ok, because i have said that
    before. so then, why do i get sick every weekend when she wants to go
    to the park? not real sick, just "not feeling well"... when i can
    just say "i don't want to go"
    evile: I have no idea...I think you definitely have some things to
    work out.
    evile: FWIW, you have family who loves you no matter what...kay?
    Sineater: know that. ty
    Sineater: don't know why sometimes
    evile: there's no why to love, brother.
    evile: You are, therefore you are loved.
    evile: You make me crazy, you make me angry, you make me cry, I fear
    for you, I'm disappointed in you...but always, always, I love you.
    Sineater: thinking again. i treat her like i have no value, like
    she's completely unimportant. doesn't fit. if i love her, why don't i
    value her? ponder
    Sineater: i show that i value other people
    evile: *hugs* I'm very sorry you're going through this.
    Sineater: well me too
    Sineater: question, you know me, can you offer any insight on that
    last?
    evile: My perceptions come from outside the marriage, so they are not
    of value to either of you.
    Sineater: they are of value to me. you tend to percieve things i do
    not
    evile: You know Skye_ds and you know the rules and history of your
    marriage, in a way that I cannot and do not.
    evile: I've said before that I don't like the way she treats you at
    times, and I don't like the way you treat her at times, just from
    what I see. I don't know why you act like that, and I dont' know why
    you stay when you mistreat one another...I care about you both.
    Sineater: i know
    evile: This is your marriage, your life, your choice. I can't tell
    you what to do or pass judgements. YOu are both adults. By staying
    together you consent to the way you treat one another.
    Sineater: i'm not asking you to pass judgement or anything. i only
    ask because you know me and i don't appraise myself honestly
    Sineater: or rather don't think i do. i question my own judgement
    evile: I don't know what to tell you, sineater. Nothing that comes from
    outside yourself is going to fix you.
    Sineater: not even a big ass wrench?
    evile: It's very easy to see patterns and say "this is what it
    is"...but from within the situation, there are mitigating factors,
    there are things that are not seen from the outside, and sure it's
    easy to say "leave" but harder to face the full impact of what that
    reall y MEANS.
    Sineater: ponder. she says she can't tell when i am being honest, the
    way she can tell with most people is that what they say and what they
    do match. how can she tell when i'm being honest?
    Sineater: if what i say and do don't match
    evile: I think you try very hard to give her what she wants. I don't
    have any answers for you. I truly think you nee d professional help.
    and I've said that before too.
    Sineater: i'm sorry i said you said something you didn't say. i got
    skye mad at you for something you didn't do. she says she's sorry,
    she's not in the mood right now to talk to anybody, that she doesn't
    know why she believes a damn thing i say now.
    evile: If she wanted to go, she should have said something herself.
    evile: We've been through this, timeand again, if Skye_ds wants
    something from me, she needs to talk to ME, not tell you to tell me __
    Sineater: she -didn-t want to go, didn't want to be invited, she had
    plans
    evile: so why is she now pissed off at you for not being invited?
    Sineater: not for not being invited, for me saying something that got
    her mad at you, when you didn't say it
    evile: Well, I'm sorry that there was conflict between you.
    Sineater: for me saying that you said something that you really
    didn't say
    Sineater: not your fault!!!
    evile: Clarification: When I say "I am sorry" I am expressing
    sorrow/concern for you, not admitting fault or blame.
    Sineater: ok
    Sineater: good, because you didn't say it
    evile: I am terribly sorrowful that (as usual) a kind gesture has
    been turned into soemthing to hurt people with.
    Sineater: god im sorry. i accused you of something you didn't do
    evile: and then Skye_ds is using the misunderstanding to hurt you, and
    you are using it to hurt her.
    Sineater: i know how hard both of you work to keep the peace for my
    sake
    evile: I think y'all need help.
    evile: I don't think that your communication problems are going to be
    fixed by keeping one another up till all hours hollering at each
    other.
    Sineater: i told her that you said she wasn't invited because you'd
    just upset K/Mom. you didn't say that
    evile: I think you need someone in the middle to clarify what you
    say/what she hears, what she says/what you hear.
    Sineater: sonar0m does that a lot. he is very impartial
    Sineater: he clarifies what was said/not said a lot
    evile: *nod*
    Sineater: well we didn't holler this time at least. haven't for a
    while come to think of it
    evile: Capitol Area Mental Health provides sliding scale counseling.
    Their number is 512-302-1000
    Sineater: was looking that up earlier. thank you
    Sineater: also mhmr has branch in cameron
    evile: I sincerely, with all my heart, care about you and want you
    to be well, happy, loved, and loving.
    Sineater: i know
    evile: If you or Skye_ds become a physical threat to one another,
    please call safe place, 267 SAFE. They have facilities for men and
    women in domestic violence situations.
    Sineater: thank you. think we're far from that now but you never know
    evile: I don't care what you say to her, or what she says to you,
    neither of you should feel fear for your physical safety as a result.
    Sineater: we don't right now
    Sineater: just tired
    evile: *nod*
    evile: I can't be driving you back and forth to rockdale...none of
    Sweetie's cars is particularly roadworthy at the moment. Will have to
    borrow or rent one to pick up your stuff.
    evile: (probably borrow from Aunt L & Uncle B)
    evile: So once you're at my house, you're at my house. There's a bus
    route, 37, that can get you downtown, etc.
    Sineater: i know. stuff is not a big issue at th e momrnt
    evile: I can't afford to buy you a new wardrobe, so you need your
    stuff.
    Sineater: i know that
    evile: If you end up deciding to take up a legal proceeding, you will
    need copies of your ownership documents.
    Sineater: nod
    evile: If you job hunt from my house, you will need all the cards ID,
    etc, to fill out an i9 and get started working ASAP
    evile: I will not have my home disrupted. You and Skye_ds will not be
    in my house at the same time while this is going on.
    Sineater: i know
    evile: I like her, I care about her, but I can't have screaming and
    fighting and fussing all night
    Sineater: brb
    Sineater: sorry. phone. was talkingto cap area ment
    evile: *nod*
    evile: their funding is really short right now, from what I
    understand.
    evile: Just be persistent and keep trying to find some help.
    evile: I think you've worked on this as long and hard as you can and
    need some professional insight.
    evile: The pig had the baby, BTW. Aunt L just gave me the news. Not
    quite 9 lbs, arrived at 3:20 this afternoon.
    evile: Just a little bit of icing on the crap cake that has been
    today...
    Sineater: i will keep at it. we are going to go home tonight, work
    out plans.
    Sineater: oh greeeeat
    Sineater: late. hmm
    Sineater: i take it it was a live birth
    evile: in the apartment with midwives, so I heard. I don't care
    Sineater: shrug
    Sineater: so K/Mom rushed down there?
    evile: this a.m. I guess.
    Sineater: best of luck to her :(
    evile: Al & Rubber_Pig did not prepare a room as she asked, it's still
    full of junk and trash.
    Sineater: great
    Sineater: surprised.... no
    evile: If Mom lets that pass, they'll just keep imposing on her and
    trespassing on her boundaries.
    Sineater: she won't take that forever
    Sineater: not even with spawn fever
    evile: nope.
    Sineater: with that many people in that house how can they waste an
    entire room like that?
    evile: *shrug* no clue.
    evile: Well, it's 4. Time for me to get out of here. I will call you
    tonight.
    Sineater: kk. thank you. have good rest of the day ok?
    evile: you too, bro. *hugs*
    Sineater: :-)

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