evile

Feb. 28, 2005

evile: hey :) Great party!
Sharjinka: Thanks!
Sharjinka: Thanks so much for coming. It's always great to see
you. :-)
evile: Thanks for inviting me. You have a really great group of
friends.
Sharjinka: Thanks. I think they said things to just get on your
nerves. I'm sorry if they did.
evile: why do you think that?
Sharjinka: I just thought they were saying provoking things. Poly
amorous discussion and all that.
Sharjinka: Although....I found the topic fascinating.
evile: I'm lucky I am pretty oblivious to people trying to peeve me.
I thought the discussion was very interesting, as well.
evile: I'm hetero/mono, I have friends who are poly, if not for them
I would believe that Poly means 'swinger' and all of that.
evile: Hell, if the only poly person you know is "skye", then I think
a lot of your preconceptions are pretty justified.
Sharjinka: I still have a bit of trouble with the concept. But I'm
not as bad as I used to be.

evile: It would not work for me, personally, but I don't think I
really have any right to judge anyone else.
Sharjinka: The more you meet and the more you understand, the better
off you are, I think.
evile: true. I think there are some people who are so socially
challenged, they can't even make hetero/mono work. So...definitely
depends on the person :)
Sharjinka: I agree. My Mom had to help me understand homos. ;-) It
took a while to learn but I think she was the best at teaching me not
to judge others. :-) She's such a mono/hetero straight-type that
she was perfect for teaching me.
Sharjinka: I learned about homos late and my first knee jerk reaction
was terrible. :-(
evile: LOL :)
Sharjinka: I was a sexual perv to....I wanted to know how exactly it
worked.... (I learned as a sexually curious 14 year old what
homosexual meant.)
evile: Live and learn, as they say.
Sharjinka: I just didn't think that worked..... It was like putting
two positives or two negatives together - no charge. ;-)
evile: *lol!!!*
Sharjinka: I kept on wanting Mom to explain HOW it worked.
evile: oh, dear. I'm sure that was not a conversation she wanted to
have with you...
Sharjinka: I'm sure she didn't!!! She told me I had it all wrong. I
was thinking of the act and not the relationship. She bought tickets
to La Cage Aux Folles and took me to it.
evile: heee! That ROCKS!
Sharjinka: When the play was over, she asked it I understood now. It
wasn't negative or positive, it was love. :-) Tougher to explain
scientifically but a human emotion that I should understand and that
everyone should be allowed to feel and experience. Not so much
gender, just overall.
Sharjinka: Good lesson from my Mom. She's good about that sort of
thing. God bless her.
evile: *nod* sounds like between the 2 of them, you got a pretty
balanced upbringing from your parents :)
Sharjinka: Yeah...Dad is still a bit homophobic but he was hit on a
lot while in the Navy. Poor guy. I think he's also a bit scared to
express any "feminine" side of his personality. I've learned to be
very tolerant of Dad's attitudes. He sometimes can't help them.....
evile: Yeah, there is a big generation gap in some situations, that's
for sure.
Sharjinka: Yes....and I try to respect Dad's attitude. The entire
family gets on him when he goes a bit overboard. :-)
Sharjinka: Hey! Do you have the "I'm a banana" website??? Please!!!
evile: Oh, yeah. It's www.bitterfilms.com
Sharjinka: Thanks so much!!
evile: You're welcome :)
Sharjinka: :-) Cool, I have it bookmarked now.
evile: awesome. :) I will probably end up getting my own copy of
that someday, it's too funny to wait for whenever Spike & Mike decide
to show it
Sharjinka: I agree. A friend of mine showed me it on DVD. I got to
laughing so hard, they had to pause so I could run to the
restroom. ;-) Too funy and probably TMI. ;-)
evile: heehee! at least you made it to the restroom!
Sharjinka: True! I could not believe how funny it was.
evile: I am always so impressed with how creative some people can be.
Sharjinka: Me too. I love the silly.
evile: *nodnod*
Sharjinka: :-D
evile: How late did y'all end up staying up afte I left?
Sharjinka: I went to bed around 6:15am.
evile: wow! and then went to the park, too?
Sharjinka: Yes, but pulled a leg muscle really bad and went home
early.
evile: ouch! That SUCKS!
Sharjinka: Yeah....I hadn't done that in a long time. The pain shot
up so quickly and was so bad, I went home an hour later.
evile: Is it feeling better or are you limping today?
Sharjinka: Feeling better but still limping today. I came in late.
evile: Good plan. I hope you don't have too much running around
planned for today.
Sharjinka: Nope. Not going skating tomorrow either. I have to work
on a paper so it works out. I plan to go home, eat, and study at the
table. ;-)
evile: sounds like fun!
Sharjinka: Yep. I'm organizing the ideas in my head for two papers
so....it should work out. :-)
evile: I always did better writing at the last minute.
evile: omfg, sineater just messaged me to say he's leaving Skye_ds. I
suspect it won't last, but...wow.
Sharjinka: OMG!!! You're kidding!! Is it for REAL???
evile: oh, yay, it' smy fault.
Sharjinka: How is it your fault???
evile: because I didn't invite her to go to Houston the day that sineater
and I went to Houston to visit his grandmother & my mom.
evile: someone is rewriting history to push an agenda, and I can
guarandamntee you it's not me.
Sharjinka: I was going to say....how does that work exactly?
Sharjinka: There I am asking how again! Like when I asked HOW homos
did it! :-D
evile: 1) she said "I'm going riding at drandmir sunday X day"
I was thinking of visiting Houston that day, thought it would be nice
for sineater to see his fam if he wasn't obligated to go with her. I
mentioned it to her, she said it was his decision.

Sharjinka: Okay...with you so far....
evile: 2) I invited him. He said "OK"
3) they were in town Saturday evening, I met them and got sineater, we
wen t to Houston Sunday a.m. and then I took him home Sunday night.
ALL the way home. Because she said she would not be in g'town long
enough for me to meet her and sonar0m there
evile: and in the 2 weeks since it's happened, apparently it's been
re-written as I told sineater that Skye_ds was not invited, that he asked
me WHY she wasn't and I didn't answer, or some crazy crap like that.
Sharjinka: Oh....geez!!!! *sigh*
Sharjinka: I think she just blames others when her relationships
don't work out.
evile: yup. and likes to re-write history to paint herself as
innocent party.
Sharjinka: *sigh*
evile: I don't know what to tell him. He keeps saying he is the one
at fault, and that he keeps mis-remembering things, when she is the
one who is twisting shit around. I don't know how to say 'she's a
fucking nut, get the hell out'./
Sharjinka: He shouldn't blame himself so much! It takes two!
evile: i know.
Sharjinka: *sigh*
Sharjinka: I have to take off for class..... Is there anything I can
to help??
evile: I know that when the abuse victim decides to leave is when
he/she is in the greatest danger...I have waited foro this for
years, and now that it's happening I am terrified
evile: I will keep you posted... *hugs* thanks for being there for me
& for sineater You are a good friend.
Sharjinka: I know..... I'm so sorry. I'm sure this is the scariest
time.
Sharjinka: Thanks. I really haven't been there too much.
evile: enough. every caring person in his life is a lifeline back to
sanity...
Sharjinka: Thanks. :-) When I get back from nutball religion
class....I'll get back online. :-D
evile: OK. have good class :)

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

evile

Feb. 28, 2005

Sharjinka: Thanks. Back now. :-)
evile: I guess I jumped to a conclusion. Apparently SHE is demanding
that he leave, he is not wanting to.
Sharjinka: Oh..... *sigh*
evile: And he is on ICQ from her office, where they're 'talking'
(translate: she's browbeating and hollering at him until he breaks
down and admits everything is all his fault and he will do ANYTHING
to make it up to her, including never speaking to his family again)
Sharjinka: I just don't understand how he can be like that. *sigh*
That's just terrible.
evile: I know...this is very scary to me.
Sharjinka: I wish he wouldn't give in to that. I think he's done it
before and it just makes me sad. :-(
evile: me too.
Sharjinka: I don't like JG's family but I would never keep him from
them. He tends to split time between me and his brother / sister and
parents. I consider that healthy.
evile: *nod* exactly
Sharjinka: I'm hoping to work it out with them. I like his sister
and brother. I'm not so much in with his Dad. He tends to talk down
and treat his wife like crap and I just don't like that so much.
evile: yeah, it's hard to spend time around people like that. Very
impressive that JG has modeled his own behavior on something
healthier and more respectful to women :)
Sharjinka: Yes.... He's such a good guy. I think he just picked out
traits from his Dad that he liked and got rid of the rest. :-)
Sharjinka: I think overall I like his family well enough. I'm just
better around my own and my family adores him which also helps.
evile: that takes a lot of strength to do. The more I know of him,
the more I really admire him :)
Sharjinka: He's a really good guy. He is very interested in my
friends and what I do. He just is the best ever. I feel so lucky.
I'm almost afraid to talk about it.
Sharjinka: :-D
evile: dont' want to mess it up, eh? I totally understand that
feeling. :)
Sharjinka: Yeah....he's just so sweet, nice, adorable, respectful,
fascinating, intelligent, etc. I am really afraid of fucking this up!
evile: As long as the 2 of you communicate I think you'll be fine. He
seems very willing to stay with you and do the work that a
relationship requires. And I know YOU are :)
Sharjinka: Thanks. :-)
Sharjinka: I really do work hard on relationships and I think I've
gotten better at communicating.
evile: yeah :) Nobody tells you that love is hard work going in...but
it can sometimes be a hell of a job.
Sharjinka: Yeah, true!
evile: I'm kind of dreading talking with Sweetie about sineater maybe coming
to stay with us...I know the outcome will be 'yes' but I am just not
looking forward to it.
Sharjinka: Yeah....so...is this a sure over thing or just a temporary
lover's quarrel thing? Or one sided lover's quarrel thing?
evile: I can't figure it out from what he's saying.
Sharjinka: Oh.
evile: It sounds like he doesn't want to leave her, at all, but she
is saying 'change or we divorce'
Sharjinka: Change into what???
evile: and he is trying to figure out what he's done wrong and how to
fix it.
Sharjinka: *sigh*
evile: but when she changes her perceptions of what happened, who
said what to whom, how can he change to match her reality?
Sharjinka: *sigh* I have trouble because I can't follow her logic....
evile: To me it sounds like "be perfect, read my mind, do everything
I want you to do before I even ask you to...or leave"
Sharjinka: *sigh* Sounds that way to me too.
evile: and of course, it's all on HIM to change and get better,
because she's already fixed what was wrong with herself.
Sharjinka: *sigh* This is just awful...... I'm sorry but it just is.
evile: I know. And here I am trying to be calm, do my job, not lose
my shit at work, think rationally, figure out what to do....
Sharjinka: I'm sorry. I wish I could say or suggest some advice that
would be helpful. I'm just at a loss. It would be healthier for
sineater to be out of that relationship.
evile: I know
Sharjinka: *sigh*
evile: it's got to be his choice...and from waht I've read people
often go back several times after deciding to leave a bad
relationship, so this could be just one of many. He may even change
his mind today and never leave.
Sharjinka: Yeah....there is that chance.
evile: And now I'm beginning to suspect that this is some kind of
trap to get me to talk shit about A, thinking that I'm talking to
sineater. Ain't gonna happen.
Sharjinka: Good idea. It might be. I don't like the way A thinks.
Does not play nice with others.
evile: No, she's inteligent, evil, and crazy. Not a good combination
at all.
Sharjinka: Scary.
evile: *sigh* and it PISSES ME THE FUCK OFF That this argument is
being blamed on ME.
Sharjinka: *sigh* I was afraid it might be.....
evile: yup. apparently sineater asked me to invite Skye_ds when we went to
houston, and I said no.
evile: I remember no such thing.
Sharjinka: *sigh* That sucks. What a set up!
evile: and now HE remembers asking me, but not exactly where or when
of course.
evile: So now it's like I'm the one who's lying.
Sharjinka: *sigh*
evile: the only reason I thought it would be OK to invite him at all
is that she had plans for going to drandmir and going to dinner with
just her and sonar0m.
evile: And of course he'd rather fuss and argue about that than deal
with the real issues in the marriage
evile: and since I hate being called a liar, I will get sucked right
into defending my honor and side-tracking the whole mess right into
my lap.
Sharjinka: Yeah...it seems a tactic....
evile: at least online chat gives me a chance to think before I react
badly.
Sharjinka: True.
evile: I am glad I put a note to myself in OUtlookto call for
reservations at th eMelting pot.
evile: They had a choice of any time between 5-6:30, and then 8. So
I picked 6:30. I hope that works out OK for you.
Sharjinka: That's fine with me. I'm really looking forward to this.
I need to e-mail myself so I won't forget!
evile: I will send out reminders :)
Sharjinka: Thanks!
evile: I updated the info in my LJ, too.
Sharjinka: Cool! Thank you.
evile: oh, th story changed again. sineater did NOT ask me, he lied to
HER and told her that he'd asked me. But she had plans and didn't
want to go anyway, so why the fuss???
Sharjinka: I'm very confused now.
evile: me too. And it's ALL ERICS FAULT! *BEAT BEAT BEAT*
evile: for fucks sake, can I just kill her now.
Sharjinka: *sigh* WHAH!
evile: Okay, okay, sineater comes over, then Skye_ds comes chasing him,
screeching and threatening and causing a scene...on my property.I am
in fear of my life, I kill her. The judge lets me go, right?
Sharjinka: Trespassing and self defense have worked before.... *sigh*
Sharjinka: I know a lawyer.....
evile: me too, only she's in California.
Sharjinka: The lawyer I know is here.
evile: we never had this conversation...
Sharjinka: What conversation? ;-)
evile: excellent.
Sharjinka: :-D
Sharjinka: *sigh* Poor sineater. This is just so unhealthy!
evile: I know...
evile: I just keep thinking about what to do if he comes to stay with
me. How can I keep him from letting her into my house? How can I
protect our property and pets?
Sharjinka: I'm so sorry that you get caught up in it too.
evile: this is what happens when your family is infuckingsane.
Sharjinka: I'm sorry.
evile: me too.
evile: She has a story she used to like to tell a lot, but hasn't
lately, about fighting with her parents when they bought her brother
a new truck and didn't buy her anything.
Sharjinka: *sigh* Maybe you could tell him that you don't want the
drama and they should meet in a neutral place to discuss problems?
evile: She and sineater had driven all night to get to Texarkana, she had
this giant fight with them, and they left, and on the way out, Skye_ds
cut a pentagram in the paint of her brother's new car.
evile: She told this story with conviction that she was absolutely in
the rihgt, and proud of herself for doing that.
Sharjinka: Geez!!! I can't believe that.....
evile: unfo, I can.
Sharjinka: *sigh* That is just so sad.
evile: I may have just burned the bridge. I told him that if he stays
with us, Skye_ds will not be allowed to come over while they're
fighting. I won't have my home disrupted by that.
Sharjinka: It makes sense though. I think he should respect that.
Sharjinka: I wouldn't want that in my home either and I just got it.
I want nothing but good vibes in my home. With possible lazy vibes
thrown in.
evile: *nodnod*
Sharjinka: I think he could understand and respect that. This is
happening very fast then??
evile: Family comes first, yes, but Sweetie is my life partner,he is my
family, too, and his needs are absolutely #1
evile: I don't know. They may 'talk it through' and go home at the
end of the day. This may all be a big ruse to upset me and keep me
from going out with my girlfriends tonight. you just never know.
Sharjinka: That's completely understandable.
Sharjinka: *sigh* I hope not. Sounds like you could use a nice
night out with friends.
evile: yup!!!!!
Sharjinka: :-)
Sharjinka: I turned in my Greyhounds of America application today.
evile: cool. When will you find out whether or not you get Allie?
Sharjinka: I'm not sure. I'm going to e-mail the placement officer
again today and let her know I mailed it. If all goes well....maybe
there will be an in home visit this week.
evile: how awesome :) she is a beautiful dog!
Sharjinka: She is pretty. :-) I adore her but I'm sure if I don't
adopt her, she'll go to a good home. She's such a sweetie.
Sharjinka: Anybody would be happy to have her.
evile: yeah :) She sounds like a great pet.
Sharjinka: I hope I can get her. She also has a sister named Biscuit
who is very cute.
evile: aww!
Sharjinka: :-) They look a lot alike except that Allie weighs more.
Biscuit did do a bit of racing and is a bit leaner.
evile: they all look too skinny to me.
Sharjinka: I know. They don't really have body fat. Solid
muscle. :-)
Sharjinka: Allie has a bit more of a chest.
evile: If I adopted one i woul dend up with the only fat greyhoud
ever
Sharjinka: Allie will probably gain weight around me. :-) I
exerciese two or three times a week.
evile: *nod* I am sure she will have you walking a lot more :)
Sharjinka: I hope so. The park is just down the street.
evile: *nod* that's a really good neighborhood for that.
Sharjinka: Yes, it's a wonderful park. I'm sure Allie will enjoy it.
evile: I am sure :)
Sharjinka: I hope I can adopt her. I'm trying not to set my heart on
her but she had a wonderful personality. I'm a bit worried about her
growling at the big dog but I think she considered him a threat and
was doing it to protect. She stopped when I asked her to.
evile: *nod* I think so, too. She just wanted to protect you :)
Sharjinka: I think so but it kind of upset the greyhound people.
They told me that greyhounds are not aggressive and very docile.
evile: yeah, but they are still canines, still predators. One growl
is not an indication of a violent personality.
Sharjinka: Very true. And she would have been more aggressive. I
think it was just a warning. She stopped and gave me the cutest look
when I told her not to growl.
evile: aww! That is so precious!!!
Sharjinka: She cocked her head to one side and gave me the
innocent "what?" look. I'm in love. :-D She's goofy.
evile: hee! Too cute!
Sharjinka: :-D

Sharjinka: I'm taking off. *sigh* Good luck and call me at home if
you need to talk or hang out or anything. 990-2742
Sharjinka: Bye!

evile: Ok, me too. *hugs* thanks :)