![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Apr. 9th, 2026 12:27 pm Housemate has found an apartment complex she likes, in her old area of town that she lived in before moving to CO 10-15 yrs ago, with shopping and restaurants and a branch of her medical providers in easy distance. Final walk through is scheduled for next week, then she'll be moving her stuff in increments, hopes to be done by June if not before.
today's conversation was her offering to help clean, organize in my work room, and unsolicited, unwanted advice for back yard patio repairs that need doing. *
If she was able or willing to help clean and organize, perhaps offering to do it sometime in the last *year* she has been living here would have been better timing.
she's also offered to come dogsit next time we go out of town on a cruise or vacation. Nevermind the fact that the last time we left, over a four day weekend, we came back to the dogs having no water in any of their bowls. (there's a big gravity-fed bottle that the dogs ignore religously. I can't say I blame them, it catches dust and since it never gets used it just gets slimy. I clean it out occasionally but they don't ever drink out of it. They could have if they were despereate enough, though. Still. Not ideal) and of course she doesn't have the physical strength to walk them so it's not really a good fit, as far as pet sitting goes.
I know my house is a mess and my yard needs upgrades and repairs. I don't care to be lectured about it by anyone. especially her, of all people.
Anyway, glad she's getting on with her life.
Brother A is still spinning castles in the clouds. I feel sure that he will have burned through all realtors in the area he wants to move to, before he even has inheritance $ in hand to actually spend on anything. He is spinning himself up with ideas about getting 'the owner' to do this or that, working with this or that organization or business or art studio, they'll say this and he'll do that, and bla bla bla...none of it is real. And when you suggest something practical, (ie: get a space and sublet rooms to other artists for their studio space so you'll have money coming in whether you are selling your art or not) he will spin up another story about what that imaginary person will do or say and why that suggestion won't work.
He also has a persistent saying about how the things that work for other people, don't work for him, and the things that work for him dont' work for other people. I am wondering what evidence he has that anything he's done has ever 'worked' for him, or what 'success' looks like or feels like from his perspective. I don't see much in the way of results. He's worked several jobs since getting out of prison in 2022, all low paying and aggravating and or short term. He liked working for the seasonal haunted house but I think overall it was too much work and not enough money and of course they didn't recognize his creativity and bla bla bla, he didn't get into the inner circle so he is going to do his own thing and be his own inner circle with all of his friends from before he went to prison, who are somehow going to magically get on board with helping him do his creative things...which none of them have done yet, or seemed willing to do.
What housemate and brother A. have in common was that all their Austin Friends just haven't kept room for them in their lives, they've all moved on and are doing their own things now. It's not a cruelty so much as a fact of life. I used to come back to Austin to visit when I was in college and every visit, fewer and fewer people made time for me. It hurts and sucks but that's the way things work. People don't hold space for you forever, they move on. They have their own stuff going on. Friendships take regular effort and outreach, and mutuality. Brother A and housemate don't really seem to get that not everyone is up for hanging out and just playing 'adoring audience' for their rambling train of thought for however long they want to go on about it. I don't really hang out with friends outside the home anymore, and I don't particularly want to, BUT the thing I can say I do have to offer in a friendship is that I listen and converse. It's not a monologue of health issues or a rundown of some horrible news story or a play by play of a thing I just watched on TV, or a bunch of nonsense about my creative empire that doesn't exist, it's an actual listen and respond and ask questions and give and take sort of thing. Maybe people just dont' do that anymore. I dunno.
My own job hunting hasn't yielded any results. I'm still showing 'active' on a few jobs I applied to at a large bureaucracy (not the state) but these jobs were supposed to be starting in April so....maybe they're going to close them out and maybe they won't. For that matter, I have a job I applied to on the community college website I applied to in 2024 that is showing as pending or still 'under consideration', so *wanking motion*
On the plus side, I've started taking my triple reuptake inhibitor (mental health med) again after a long time of not bothering, I've got a good vitamin routine, and I've started to get some kind of daily exercise in addition to walking dogs morning and evening. I will be happy when the local pool opens again, housemate and I would walk down there every afternoon and walk up and down in the shallower end of the pool every day, for a while. That was good.
Cruise in October, if the world is still here. Will be asking Brother A. or maybe Cousin B. to watch the dogs for us.
===========
* come to think of it, this unsolicited 'fix your shit' advice from her is reminding me of crazy messiah complex girl who temporarily wanted to be in A's room and painted it up all crazy. She was trying to recruit me into being one of her army of 'counselors' who was going to help people using her mental health dojo techniques, and then told me 'there are people' who will clean my house (for free? in exchange for 'healing'?)...miss me with that bullshit. The whitey bourgeouse of it "Oh, there are PEOPLE for that," as if keeping my own home to my own standards of cleanliness is some kind of menial thing that "PEOPLE" can be used to do. fuck her and fuck that. I may at some point be too old or physically incapable of such things, but i"ll never be "too good" to scrub a toilet or a dish.
today's conversation was her offering to help clean, organize in my work room, and unsolicited, unwanted advice for back yard patio repairs that need doing. *
If she was able or willing to help clean and organize, perhaps offering to do it sometime in the last *year* she has been living here would have been better timing.
she's also offered to come dogsit next time we go out of town on a cruise or vacation. Nevermind the fact that the last time we left, over a four day weekend, we came back to the dogs having no water in any of their bowls. (there's a big gravity-fed bottle that the dogs ignore religously. I can't say I blame them, it catches dust and since it never gets used it just gets slimy. I clean it out occasionally but they don't ever drink out of it. They could have if they were despereate enough, though. Still. Not ideal) and of course she doesn't have the physical strength to walk them so it's not really a good fit, as far as pet sitting goes.
I know my house is a mess and my yard needs upgrades and repairs. I don't care to be lectured about it by anyone. especially her, of all people.
Anyway, glad she's getting on with her life.
Brother A is still spinning castles in the clouds. I feel sure that he will have burned through all realtors in the area he wants to move to, before he even has inheritance $ in hand to actually spend on anything. He is spinning himself up with ideas about getting 'the owner' to do this or that, working with this or that organization or business or art studio, they'll say this and he'll do that, and bla bla bla...none of it is real. And when you suggest something practical, (ie: get a space and sublet rooms to other artists for their studio space so you'll have money coming in whether you are selling your art or not) he will spin up another story about what that imaginary person will do or say and why that suggestion won't work.
He also has a persistent saying about how the things that work for other people, don't work for him, and the things that work for him dont' work for other people. I am wondering what evidence he has that anything he's done has ever 'worked' for him, or what 'success' looks like or feels like from his perspective. I don't see much in the way of results. He's worked several jobs since getting out of prison in 2022, all low paying and aggravating and or short term. He liked working for the seasonal haunted house but I think overall it was too much work and not enough money and of course they didn't recognize his creativity and bla bla bla, he didn't get into the inner circle so he is going to do his own thing and be his own inner circle with all of his friends from before he went to prison, who are somehow going to magically get on board with helping him do his creative things...which none of them have done yet, or seemed willing to do.
What housemate and brother A. have in common was that all their Austin Friends just haven't kept room for them in their lives, they've all moved on and are doing their own things now. It's not a cruelty so much as a fact of life. I used to come back to Austin to visit when I was in college and every visit, fewer and fewer people made time for me. It hurts and sucks but that's the way things work. People don't hold space for you forever, they move on. They have their own stuff going on. Friendships take regular effort and outreach, and mutuality. Brother A and housemate don't really seem to get that not everyone is up for hanging out and just playing 'adoring audience' for their rambling train of thought for however long they want to go on about it. I don't really hang out with friends outside the home anymore, and I don't particularly want to, BUT the thing I can say I do have to offer in a friendship is that I listen and converse. It's not a monologue of health issues or a rundown of some horrible news story or a play by play of a thing I just watched on TV, or a bunch of nonsense about my creative empire that doesn't exist, it's an actual listen and respond and ask questions and give and take sort of thing. Maybe people just dont' do that anymore. I dunno.
My own job hunting hasn't yielded any results. I'm still showing 'active' on a few jobs I applied to at a large bureaucracy (not the state) but these jobs were supposed to be starting in April so....maybe they're going to close them out and maybe they won't. For that matter, I have a job I applied to on the community college website I applied to in 2024 that is showing as pending or still 'under consideration', so *wanking motion*
On the plus side, I've started taking my triple reuptake inhibitor (mental health med) again after a long time of not bothering, I've got a good vitamin routine, and I've started to get some kind of daily exercise in addition to walking dogs morning and evening. I will be happy when the local pool opens again, housemate and I would walk down there every afternoon and walk up and down in the shallower end of the pool every day, for a while. That was good.
Cruise in October, if the world is still here. Will be asking Brother A. or maybe Cousin B. to watch the dogs for us.
===========
* come to think of it, this unsolicited 'fix your shit' advice from her is reminding me of crazy messiah complex girl who temporarily wanted to be in A's room and painted it up all crazy. She was trying to recruit me into being one of her army of 'counselors' who was going to help people using her mental health dojo techniques, and then told me 'there are people' who will clean my house (for free? in exchange for 'healing'?)...miss me with that bullshit. The whitey bourgeouse of it "Oh, there are PEOPLE for that," as if keeping my own home to my own standards of cleanliness is some kind of menial thing that "PEOPLE" can be used to do. fuck her and fuck that. I may at some point be too old or physically incapable of such things, but i"ll never be "too good" to scrub a toilet or a dish.
