dreams, stuff

 i had a dream that is really sticking with me. in my dream, reality was breaking down. I was a bridesmaid at my friend J-law's wedding and we had just gotten to the reception and started circulating and having fun, when reality shifted (as It does) and we went to a new reality where the bride had died in an accident as a child. The truly broken part was that we all still remembered both realities; the one we had just experienced with a happy occasion and a beautiful ceremony and all of us dressed up in this incredible gorgeous venue with fairy lights and tulle and champagne and a live quartet playing, and the one where our friend had never had a chance to grow up and meet most of us, fall in love, etc. the groom was absolutely griefstricken and just absolutely gutted...it was so terrible. I tried to console him by saying at least we had one last beautiful perfect day with her, and nothing could take that away from him....but now that I'm awake, that was probably a pretty terrible thing to say.

And then I was at an airport with Thax, that halfway through trying to find our gate, I guess reality shifted and I suddenly remembered the layout because I'd travelled frequently through this place before (very 70's colors, decor, fonts for gate numbers and names of airlines, etc.) , so I was taking us to the gate we needed, but then reality shifted again as we got to the 'gate' and instead of a gate it was like a garden path that led out to a field near a body of water, and the 'airplane' technology had been replaced by something that I didn't know, like sort of an organic helicopter bubble thing? so there was no more need for airports and runways and so travel nexuses were just these nice garden paths where you'd follow the path to the designated circle and wait for your bubble copter creature to pick you up. So wierd.

In my dream, these shifts were happening more and more often and most people were able to remember both the reality we'd just shifted from and the reality we were currently occupying. It was a real brain melter.

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Today is new moon in Aries and a bunch of planets doing stuff....supposedly this means new beginnings and fresh starts and lot of energy to get shit done.

I have allergies and headache and tiredness. The Aries new moon is supposed to be a time when y ou clarify what you really want and get after it, but I can't honestly think of anything I 'really want' or even who I 'really am' or 'really want to be'. Let alone what I'd be willing to do in order to get there. I'm just tired and done.

I do kind of wish I knew any local activist groups to get involved with; I wish I could go to the Dilley detention center with a huge group of people and scream the place down, like the fucking walls of Jericho. But I don't know anyone. Texas, especially Austin of all fucking places, has seemed relatively complacent to the presence of ICE and the crackdown on unhoused people and all of these terrible things you'd think a hippy blue liberal town would be against. But..nope. I don't really see or hear anything about it. Then again I know social media is skewed and suppressed and censored. And I know that the real news is, too. I have no idea how to find my people or be involved. :/ I call my shithead senators. I vote. I bitch on my bluesky and my facebook. very useful, me.



 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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 I want a pool.