evile: tgif!!!
SkyeDS: amen
evile: Y'all going to go camp tonight at the SCA thing?
SkyeDS: nah, we'll drive down early in the am
evile: cool :)
SkyeDS: have to be there and ready to go before 9 am I think, for the
parade.
evile: wow.
SkyeDS: I'm sure the boys would rather sleep at home and get up early
than get there and set up in the dark
evile: yeah. I like my own bed more these days, too.
SkyeDS: plus I've been to Castle Garriott many times, and the road
down to the eq campsite is narrow and steep
SkyeDS: not what I want to drive in the dark with a loaded trailer
evile: the website says it's been repaved or paved recently. So it
might be better now
SkyeDS: they didn't widen it
SkyeDS: and it's still steep and winding
evile: *nod* sounds challenging.
SkyeDS: not in the dark, no thanks
evile: yeah
SkyeDS: and I know the boys don't like tent setup in the dark either
evile: nope.
SkyeDS: going to be an eventful weekend. M's parents are going to be
there, sineater's friend Mike and his wife Crystal will be there,
Sharjinka/Jinx will be there
evile: wow.
evile: I didnt' know all those folks were even interested in SCA
SkyeDS: I'm going to drive. I'm going to tend to my children. I'm
going to be friendly to everyone. And that's it.
evile: *nod* sounds like a plan.
SkyeDS: no, that's not it
SkyeDS: I will spend as much time with Laura and Linda as I can, but
I always do that.
SkyeDS: I just hope that none of our "guests" make nuisances of
themselves.
SkyeDS: the last time a hanger on made a nuisance of herself by
taking aim at me in the equestrian area, Laura herself took an
interest
evile: wow.
SkyeDS: as long as Mike doesn't snark, and the parentals do not start
bitching about the proximity of the horses (like at HFS) all will be
good, I think/hope.
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: I would hope it would be common sense to know that in the SCA
equestrian area, where there are more than a dozen horses, one should
not complain about the proximity of them to people on the ground.
evile: yeah.
SkyeDS: if you don't want a horse closer than 6 feet to you, remove
yourself to the other side of the yellow tape (around the combat
area) or out of our reserved campsites.
evile: makes sense to me.
SkyeDS: Kelly says that she doesn't need me to take the kids tot-ing,
so, I'm going to go to a Drandmir party and probably tot around there
SkyeDS: if not there then BlockHouse in Leander
evile: oh, cool.
SkyeDS: oh yeah, and I was late leaving today so I guess I"ll vote on
Tuesday. And I need to do something for Full Moon. Not full ritual,
something of my own.
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: btw, sonar0m' cell phone is local - 635-1109
SkyeDS: I give you his rather than mine, because mine is a texarkana
SkyeDS: #
SkyeDS: so any time we're not in the office, or at home, that's the
best way to reach us.
SkyeDS: of course, if you're on your cell phone, it doesn't make any
difference, the LD, but I think it would from home, no?
evile: Last time I called sonar0m #, I ended up talking to ...his
dad...or someone. And more than likekly getting him in trouble.
SkyeDS: he doesn't have to share anymore :)
SkyeDS: 903 244 7678 that's mine, if LD isn't an issue from wherever
you call
evile: that's good. I can't imagine I'll need it for anything, but
thanks for the info.
SkyeDS: if you need to get hold of us in transit - for whatever reason
SkyeDS: even, where are you Drandmir? (wherever) ok cool
evile: I rarely, if ever, call anyone on the phone. Ever since
working for the ans. service, I really dislike phone.
evile: But if there's an emergency, it'll be good to have. thanks.
SkyeDS: and I will try to do better about reminding sineater to call you
when we go places spur of the moment. Drandmir lately is always spur
of the moment. sineater will have to call you because I am not practiced
yet hauling, driving and talking at the same time.
evile: You should not drive and talk at the same tiem, ever.
SkyeDS: good, then I don't have to get practice doing it.
particularly not pulling the horses.
evile: it's very dangerous, even if you aren't hauling a couple tons
of inertia
evile: If you ever get the urge to call me from the road, please pull
over and stop your vehicle first. I dont' wnat to be on the phone
with you and hear screeching tires, tearing metal & dying screams.
Selfish of me, I know, but please.
SkyeDS: agreed :)
evile: cool.
SkyeDS: my parentals and a few others have expressed confusion when
they call my cell and M or E answers it
SkyeDS: but I'm driving, so what else did they expect?
evile: *nod* you could always let voicemail get it, then scroll thru
missed calls & return calls at your next gas/food/potty stop.
SkyeDS: it works just fine to let the boys handle the phone
SkyeDS: the confusion will dissipate after a while I'm sure.
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: it would be wise, to teach sonar0m to drive stick, so he can
drive the black truck
SkyeDS: to give sineater instruction on pulling the horses
SkyeDS: and eventually sonar0m
evile: yup.
SkyeDS: the hardest thing I think for sineater will be, you cannot hit
your brakes first in an emergency, that doesn't work.
evile: yup.
evile: I'm sure it frustrates Sweetie that I won't drive the Bus or the
Ghia, but the Bus has too many funky things you have to remember to
do or risk destrying the engine, and the ghia is just old & fragile.
I'm afraid to even roll up/down the windows in that thing,let alone
try and manage the driving details.
SkyeDS: better safe than sorry
SkyeDS: and he'd be more frustrated if you even inadvertently hurt
his babies.
evile: I can drive 2 of the 5. and 1 of the 5 isn't running. So,
tha't's 50%. I think that's good enough.
SkyeDS: yep
SkyeDS: why I haven't worried overmuch about M nto being able to
drive the black truck
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: but E still needs to be able to pull the horses even if M
doesn't
evile: yeah
SkyeDS: it isn't that sineater hasn't ever pulled, but we haven't had a
discussion yet about how to drive through bad situations
SkyeDS: like, the minivan that tried to run me into the gas tanker
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: I'm positive that his response had he been driving would have
been to slam on the brakes, which would have sent us right into t he
tanker.
evile: ugh.
SkyeDS: always have to look for/make your own runaway ramp like on
highways in mountains that have them already
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: he isn't ever going to learn if I don't ever let him drive,
so, will remedy that starting immediately :)
evile: *nod* maybe start out during hours that are normally not very
traffick-y.
SkyeDS: like multi lane major highways early in the am tomorrow :)
SkyeDS: Daddy wanted to do some repair ot the horse trailer, so I
went to back it into their drive way
SkyeDS: Mom is protective of her inground sprinkler heads, and the
driveway is somewhat curvy, just enough to make backing difficult
SkyeDS: and my thought was, I'll back it in so it can be driven out,
and get the difficult part over with. And then when Daddy's done, he
won't have problems getting it out
evile: yup
SkyeDS: I know Daddy well enough to know if I drive it in straight,
he won't ask me to come back it out, he'll be pigheaded and try to do
it himself
SkyeDS: sure enough, he said, just drive it in and i"ll get it out.
evile: oh, dear.
SkyeDS: and I said ok, dubiously, and went in the kitchen to watch
and bite my nonexistent nails
SkyeDS: he pointed out that he's been pulling campers nad boats
longer than I've been alive.
SkyeDS: a fact which I appreciate.
evile: true.
SkyeDS: however, those don't behave the same way as a horse trailer,
neither empty nor loaded
SkyeDS: and so I told him
SkyeDS: but I went in the house anyway
SkyeDS: after the repairs were done, it took him two, count them two,
hours to back it out of the driveway without hurting mom's sprinklers
evile: I would not have been able to watch.
SkyeDS: so he comes up to me, and announces, ya know what?
SkyeDS: what.
SkyeDS: backing a horse trailer isn't the same as a camper or a boat!
evile: hehe
SkyeDS: Mom didn't let me watch, she drug me out of the kitchen.
evile: good.
SkyeDS: but just the way he said it, like he had discovered this all
by himself, as if I hadn't said that same exact thing just two hours
ago.
evile: that's just a man thing, I think,
SkyeDS: was funny, I thought
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: I feel sorry for Mom. His being home all the time and
wanting to help with things that if he could still do he would still
be teaching, is frustrating as hell.
evile: must be.
SkyeDS: I'm sure her teeth, her nails and her hair are all well worn
now from grinding and pulling.
evile: probably. *sigh*
SkyeDS: I would make a list of things he could honestly do that were
honestly helpful even to the smallest degree and distract him with
that
SkyeDS: but how big could that list possibly be?
SkyeDS: and if he won't be distracted by it, what then
evile: well, I guess it's just something they'll have to work
through. They've been married long enough, they know how to do this :)
SkyeDS: the checkbook seems to be a particular sore spot.
evile: *nod* always.
SkyeDS: since sending him outside doesn't seem to work, maybe she
might try doing it at work before she comes home.
evile: yeah.
SkyeDS: or, even, keep two checkbooks
SkyeDS: one that he can "balance" and then the real one
evile: Sweetie and I tried to have a checkbook together, it didn't work.
Now he pays his bills & the mortgage & I pay our bills & my bills
SkyeDS: like, w hen I turned one, she gave me my own cake to play in
and everyone else had another cake
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: the other cake was your standard decorated cake, mine was
plain with chocolate frosting. I swan dove into it face and hands
first. She took pictures.
evile: ew.
SkyeDS: I can't say that my table manners have much improved since.
evile: Hopefully she didn't take tem to work to show them off--I am
never sure why people want to share pictures of their sticky filthy
kids.
SkyeDS: she told her classes all semester she was adopting a baby
SkyeDS: so when she brought me home her friends put up the usual baby
stuff
SkyeDS: and some of her students said, Professor, we didn't even know
you were expecting
evile: heh.
SkyeDS: I'm like, you know they don't listen
SkyeDS: when you give them A Rose for Emily to read
SkyeDS: then a week later you show them the movie
SkyeDS: and they are shocked and disgusted by the ending
SkyeDS: which they would have known was coming, if they'd read it
evile: *nod*
evile: there's plenty I can read about just fine but can't handle
visually
SkyeDS: well, with the response of Oh My God, she was sleeping
(having sex with?) a dead body for 40 years?
SkyeDS: sounds to me like someone didn't read it at all
evile: *nod*
evile: I got email from D. She is coming for Thanksgiving instead of
Xmas.
SkyeDS: sgood yes?
evile: yes :)
evile: Her Dr. did not want her traveling at XMas time-too close to
her due date.
SkyeDS: nod
evile: I'm sure she will mostly be busy with family, but I'm sure we
can squeeze in a nice visit sometime in there.
SkyeDS: if/when I have baby, and I hear "ya know, this is nto the
first baby to ever be born, women have been doing this, unaided, for
x thousands of years"
SkyeDS: yeah well, this is not "women" this is me.
evile: heh.
evile: I'm still not giving you a medal, and/or providing applause
SkyeDS: I wouldn't expect either.
SkyeDS: just don't take the baby that still resembles a bloody
raisin, still attached to my cord, and put it in my arms
SkyeDS: cut the cord, clean the baby, please/
evile: I imagine it's probably harder to find a good baby dr. than it
is to find a regular one.
SkyeDS: that doesn't bode well given my problems w obgs already
evile: It's bad enough having philosophical differences when it's
just me and my body, but imagine having to be patronized & talked
down to and treated as stupid for 9 months, and then have that same
person treating you like crap when your'e passing a bloddy bowling
ball thru a mouse-hole.
SkyeDS: st bernard thru a cat door hehe
evile: Stressful enough, I'd imagine, to be doing that surrounded by
people who love you, care about you, and agree with your ideas about
childbirth 100%.
SkyeDS: I know, I'm a heathen pagan, but I still long for the days
when they put you all the way under
evile: not safe for the infant, even with modern medicne.
SkyeDS: I do feel somewhat better about the whole pain thing, though,
after my trip to the ER for my birthday
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: they did manage to deaden me enough down there that I didn't
feel the knife go in
SkyeDS: all I felt was relief
evile: I've heard epidurals are really awesome
SkyeDS: they have these double needle epis they call walking epis now
evile: But I still thank heaven that'll never be me.
SkyeDS: you're supposed to be able to go to the bathroom and all
SkyeDS: but if I don't get the maternal urge soon, I'm going to be
fucked, I'm not a spring chicken
evile: Nov 5 is my 1-year Essure anniversary.
SkyeDS: watch, I won't get it till after menopause.
evile: *shrug* there's always fostering & adoption.
SkyeDS: sineater wants a baby from his loins
evile: and being Poly, sineater could always find some sweet little dumb
broodmare girly and father kids on her.
SkyeDS: don't count on it.
SkyeDS: and can you imagine what Joanie would say?
evile: That's kinda where I went with it--if Sweetie wants babies, he can
go find someone to have them for him. I won't stand in their way.
evile: sineater is a grown man, he needs to live his life by what he
wants, not to please his mother.
SkyeDS: and what about if Sweetie's brood mare wants to move into your
home
evile: noper.
SkyeDS: wants Sweetie to be around to be daddy
SkyeDS: wants half of your half of his income
evile: I don't have half his income.
evile: We dont' share a bank account.
evile: whatever he wants to do with his disposalbe income is none of
my business.
SkyeDS: half the bills he pays now will fall to you - child support
SkyeDS: if he's got enough income, I guess that doesn't matter.
evile: I pay everything already,except the mortgage.
SkyeDS: I would be more than happy for him to have a brood mare other
than me.
SkyeDS: But I'm not sharing my home.
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: And I'm not sharing his income, which right now, just barely
covers "his half" of things.
SkyeDS: And he'll have to find one who doesn't have it in her head
that she'll convert him to monogamy and oust me
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: not to mention the biggest hurdle, which is, he doesn't want
to find someone else, and he's stubborn
SkyeDS: kaleon maintains that the reason sineater doesn't have other women
is because I won't let him
evile: J's got th right to his opinion, I guess.
SkyeDS: from my pov, I don't say a word until his little girls start
following me around, starting shit either aggressively or passively
in front of other people, and making it clear that they want me out
of the picture
SkyeDS: but if that's not wanting sineater to have other women, guilty, I
guess
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: the last one was 19, had children already, was a convicted
drug addict, and had a history of STDs, and a boyfriend whom she
didn't want to talk about
evile: I wouldn't demand that any other woman like me, but at least
respect me and my position in Sweetie's life.
SkyeDS: Mirage would not take canteloupe from this girl, and Indy
refused to let her scratch his butt
SkyeDS: that is a first on both their parts (the horses)
SkyeDS: well, I guess that I don't want to share my ranch or my
children with someone who wants rid of me makes me a possessive
jealous bitch.
evile: heh. how unreasonable of you.
SkyeDS: yep.
evile: people are so bizarre.
SkyeDS: I have to admit.
SkyeDS: kaleon did not treat sineater with respect.
SkyeDS: sonar0m is much better.
SkyeDS: he respects sineater, looks up to him and bears genuine affection
to him.
SkyeDS: to = for.
evile: *nod*
evile: The thing about poly is that every relationship has to create
its own dynamic/rules as it goes.Some people want 'one big happy
family' some people want several 1-on-1 relationhsips. What works for
1 may not work for everyone else.
SkyeDS: I feel bad about LadyDreamtime. But there were so many
appropriate responses I saw no point in adding my "me too"
evile: *nod* She seems to have a pretty good handle on things, and is
the most successful at being poly, from what I've seen by watching
how things go in the poly group
SkyeDS: I had an SO from NZ for a while who decided that kaleon and
sineater were interlopers, that I should leave them and my children and
go to NZ to be his marital property
SkyeDS: I dumped him on the spot.
evile: yay.
SkyeDS: interestingly enough, that relationship came about because I
had a dream about him one night, which I would have forgotten about
in five minutes upon waking
SkyeDS: except I made the mistake of telling kaleon about it
evile: wierd.
SkyeDS: and apparently this person had been telling kaleon for a very
long time about feelings for me
evile: very wierd.
SkyeDS: so he literally p ushed in Aries fashion at both us till we
gave in
SkyeDS: and of course it ended badly. I had no business trying to be
anything but fuckbuddies with a Cancer.
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: but kaleon should have known what would happen when he didn't
treat sineater with respect and was always bitching about sonar0m.
evile: yeah. that's rude.
SkyeDS: i spent a lot of time reading that poly group yesterday
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: the thing about time - helps to have things you like to do in
common
SkyeDS: although that's a duh thing, that is true of any relationship
no?
evile: yeah.
SkyeDS: kaleon used to tell sineater, dude, if you spent more time doing
what she likes to do with her, blah blah blah
SkyeDS: and then when things end, all I hear is, I FORCED him to ride
with me, I FORCED Arthur on him, yada x 3.
SkyeDS: I don't understand why people feel the need to be nasty when
it ends
SkyeDS: do your exes all hate you?
evile: I am not in touch with most of them, but the ones I'm still in
touch with, no.
SkyeDS: I am still friends with two.
SkyeDS: Two out of more than 30.
SkyeDS: although I'm not in touch with most of them and haven't been
for a long time, and I suppose the point could be made, I don't know
if they hate me now or not.
SkyeDS: but they did.
evile: Peglegasus, Patrick, Mike T, Ryan I'm still friends with.
Tex...don't think so. But we are cordial when we are in teh same
place at the same time. Um...that's all I can think of.
SkyeDS: I bet Peglegasus was never boring.
evile: Peglegasus was a very sweet pet. He was exactly what I wanted/needed
at the time.
SkyeDS: :)
evile: He is not LTR material, by any stretch, but he's very sweet &
fun to spend time with.
SkyeDS: as long as he knows he isn't LTR material and doesn't
represent himself as such to others, very cool
SkyeDS: what I don't get is all these people who criticize my family
structure (mostly me of course)
SkyeDS: and then cheat
evile: *shrug*
SkyeDS: why is cheating better?
SkyeDS: and what's with women who don't want a man who's openly poly
but will take same said man if he's cheating?
evile: I don't have any idea.
evile: I just think most people are just too nosy for their own good.
If it's none of your business, don't ask, and don't judge.
SkyeDS: "You can't handle the truth" ~ Jack Nicholson
evile: and even if someone you love is in what looks like an
unhealthy, abusive situation, constantly voicing your disapproval is
not going to be the thing that saves them.
SkyeDS: unless you've made up your mind to pull off a physical
intervention
SkyeDS: and you'd better be damn sure before you do
evile: I honestly don't have enough experience to knwo what will save
someone....
SkyeDS: when M's parents were physically scuffling with him and
invading his space, I told them, the next time he calls me, and I
find out about it, I'm coming with the horse trailer to remove him
adn his effects.
SkyeDS: and that's the end of that
SkyeDS: but I still don't get women who prefer to cheat
evile: There is no way I could physcially remove m y 300lb+ brother
from his pig & keep him from going back.. And even if I could, where
would I put him, and how could I then help him to get back on track?
I can't support him, I can't afford that kind of therapy for him...
SkyeDS: and prefer their men to be cheating
evile: I guess for some people it's all about appearances. If you
look like a happy nuclear family, it does not matter what goes on
behind closed doors. I certainly understand this,b eing somewhat
conventional and Taurean at heart...but I despise dishonesty & could
not live like t hat personally...
SkyeDS: apparently we look like a happy nuclear family because I am
continually asked if M is my son
SkyeDS: including by people who think he's 17 and that I'm 28
evile: heh.
SkyeDS: the math doesn't even work when you correct them: 21 and 34.
evile: well, you're *almost* from arkansas...it is a remote
possibility.
evile: :P
SkyeDS: rofl
SkyeDS: well, if husband and wife don't sleep with each other anymore
and have agreed to sleep around with consent, discreetly, that's not
cheating
SkyeDS: but I don't get why, if a man tells you his wife doesn't know
you'd sleep with him, but if his wife DOES know, you wouldn't.
SkyeDS: (not you personally)
evile: that's very wierd.
SkyeDS: is it all the thrill of doing what you shouldn't?
SkyeDS: despite her hurt when she finds out? and she always does.
SkyeDS: or sometimes, is there that desire to hurt, on purpose
evile: I prefer honesty. if someone's feelings get hurt, that's too
bad. Better to know the truth and be hurt right up front than be hurt
by lies later.
SkyeDS: that's the whole thing
SkyeDS: in poly, you can choose to be secondary ("the other woman")
WITHOUT hurting the primary or sneaking around
SkyeDS: so the only conclusion I can come to, is that it is the
sneaking around and hurtfulness that gets someone off.
evile: i guess.
SkyeDS: women confuse me.
evile: yup.
SkyeDS: men confuse me too.
SkyeDS: I am just confused.
evile: yeah. people are tough.
SkyeDS: If D and her folks were amenable, you could spend some
portion of TG with them, as an out from your own folks.
evile: *nod*
evile: We are in the process of ironing out plans for her visit.
SkyeDS: show up on doorstep, make scratching sounds on the door,
pitiful puppy face when door opens, and then "hide me?" in pitiful
small voice
SkyeDS: <gag>
evile: We'll figure it out.
evile: J-Law recommended a very good wine to have with lasagne.
SkyeDS: something besides karo light syrup straight from the
bottle? ;)
evile: yup.
SkyeDS: what's wrong with a nice luscious red anyway
evile: [Aunt L] doesn't like dry wines.
SkyeDS: I have no taste at all and would be perfectly happy with
lambrusco and lasagne
SkyeDS: and yes I know it doesn't even have a cork
evile: http://www.wine-club-central.com/detail.aspx?ID=2509
SkyeDS: as long as it's actually Italian and not the Riunite
carbonated stuff
evile: at least lambrusco is Italian...
SkyeDS: you can always take a bottle and if no one else wants it all
the better right?
evile: yup.
SkyeDS: at $65/bottle, I wouldn't be overly eager to share anyway lol
evile: I had fun with the compare/comtrast of the wines J-Law
recommended last year. (was it last year? year before last? anyway it
was fun)
evile: Stuff is just stuff. My treasures are the people in my life I
enjoy sharing my stuff with.
SkyeDS: I like sweet wine, I'm a baby I know
SkyeDS: but that muscatel was something else
SkyeDS: but that white you served at Xmas one time was a moscato
(same thing no?)
SkyeDS: and I loved that
evile: The Sister Creek? Yeah, I like that one a lot.
SkyeDS: but it wasn't like drinking Karo Light straight
evile: heh.
SkyeDS: one of the Zone snacks = 4 oz red wine with soft cheese
SkyeDS: I can handle that.
evile: *nod*
evile: I don't mind dessert wines, or dry ones, but they have to have
SOMETHING besides just 'sweet' or 'dry' . I need some complexity, y a
know?
SkyeDS: I wonder if that's not me too? Would that be why I liked
your moscato and not the Mondavi?
evile: A lot of people these days buy Merlot, because it's
a 'sophisticated red'...to me most Merlot tastes like shoe leather or
raw acorns or whatever, just that *pucker * and instant sandpaper
tongue...ugh.
SkyeDS: <very clueless. A dear friend gave me a short course in
cheese one night that was wonderful but I didn't take notes and I
should have :(
evile: I like the Sister Creek Moscato because it's sweet, but it's
complex. It's got a little fizz, a little bite, some floral aroma &
flavors, some honey...it's got some texture.
SkyeDS: I liked it a whole lot. And the closest thing to it towards
the white end I liked before, was white zinfandel, which yes I know,
isn't really white
evile: Central Market has tastings & food/wine pariing classes, I'd
like to try out soemtime. I also heard that Wiggy's is doing similar
on Tuesdays (I think)..need to find out more about that.
evile: White Zin is fun. Usually a safe choice for anything.
SkyeDS: wine, cheese, losing weight, sounds good to me.
evile: *nod*
evile: I got a bottle of Becker Vineyards' Muscat Cannelli for TRF
this weekend. I hope it turns out OK :)
SkyeDS: so if there is a lesson to be learned, it's that I need to
taste things individually
evile: I can't remember if I've tasted there or not. I need to find
my little book again.
SkyeDS: just because I like Sister Creek moscato doesn't mean I like
muscatel in general
evile: The TRF wine tasting is fun, but you get pretty blasted if you
actually drink instead of taste.
SkyeDS: I know that I don't like all White Zins, but I do like Sutter
Home (I know, plebeian)
evile: What I love about J-Law is that she knows her shit but she's not
a wine snob in a typical sense of the word.
evile: She's just as happy to sit in a fine restaurant drinking a
$200 bottle of 50 year old Cab, as she is to sit in the living room
watching TV and drinking a bottle of Boone's Farm with me.
SkyeDS: boone's farm strawberry hill?
evile: She knows the difference, and her palate is very discerning,
but she recognizes times & place for everything & enjoys everything
for what it is.
evile: That is, to me, what Class is: having good taste, and being
confident and happy enough with your own taste not to look down on
other people or make them uncomfortable with their own tastes.
SkyeDS: hehe I will be happy with my 50% of that (the last half)
evile: It's a good start. :)
evile: And just because you have an uneducated palate, would not mean
that you have poor taste.
SkyeDS: I can be taught
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: my sense of smell is overwrought, or so my family tells me
SkyeDS: wonder if that means I have an over sensitive sense of taste
too
evile: could be.
SkyeDS: used to be I couldn't eat at the breakfast table if daddy was
reading the paper because the smell nauseated me
evile: weird.
evile: the really nice thing about the TRF wine tastings is that they
start from beginner-status and explain everything thoroughly as they
go. I mean, it's hokey & campy & they spank you if they spill and
its a little show,too, but if you want to get a beginner-level wine
experience, it's available.
evile: Depending on which winery you taste at, the experiences vary.
Sometimes you have to know hwat you're doing because they don't,
someitmes they know what they're doing and are condescending if you
don't...it's all different.
SkyeDS: I dont' want to be a snob, I just want to know
SkyeDS: knowing arms me against snobs
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: not knowing leaves me vulnerable to them
evile: well, you could always choose not to care what snobs think of
you...?
SkyeDS: I care enough for it to hurt me
SkyeDS: I don't care enough to conform
SkyeDS: which means, in general, if I'm not going to conform I should
learn not to care period
evile: that's a bad fence to straddle, my friend.
SkyeDS: ya
evile: In the past I've generally been one of those people who knows
a lot of buzzwords & very general info, but very little in depth
knowledge of anything. I've decided I'd rather know more about
smaller topics than know a little about a lot.
SkyeDS: <grins>
SkyeDS: that is said in general about Gem, that we are superficial,
and know a little about a lot of things, and we don't go into enough
depth
evile: That means there will be buzzwords and topics I don't know
enough to talk about...and people who know may look down on me...but
I think I'll try to be secure in what I know and not worry so much.
SkyeDS: is not true of me, I don't think, because I do so love my
research
SkyeDS: I like to hit the cervix with my research as hard as I can,
so to speak
SkyeDS: which could be explained by an interesting conjunction of
Mercury and Saturn in Taurus (many researchers have that)
evile: *nod*
evile: I guess I've also figured out that the people who feel a need
to lord it over others, or be snobby and condescending, are unhappy
people whose opinion need not matter to me.
evile: sort of the old money vs nouveau riche, only in the
intellectual sphere
SkyeDS: I have the greatest respect for what Bridget and Diane can do
SkyeDS: and I would gladly learn from t hem whatever I can
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: I could understand their attitudes if I weren't properly
respectful of what I should be.
SkyeDS: how do you make your journal go back past 2003? Calendar
only goes 2 years...
evile: ?
evile: I thought it just went back to whenever you started writing.
SkyeDS: you were reading what you wrote in 02 and 01
SkyeDS: Calendar view only goes back to 03
evile: If you backdated an entry to 2001, it would show up in a 2001
calendar view
evile: I wasn't talking about LJ when I wrote t hat entry. _private_
journal goes back to 2001
SkyeDS: oh
SkyeDS: that will be interesting, when I've LJ'd long enough to go
back a few years then
evile: *nod*
evile: 3 yrs ago I was still attempting to have a friendship with X
evile: Alot of my sadness from then was in her not being a good
friend to me.
evile: saying she was going to do something with me, and then not
doing it.
evile: calling her when I was feeling bad, and having her tell me I
had no right to feel bad.
SkyeDS: I don't think feelings have anything to do with rights
SkyeDS: you feel what you feel
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: what you have the right to *do* about those feelings,
different thing
SkyeDS: that's what used to frustrate me about my temper so much
SkyeDS: I woudl do the wrong thing when I lost my temper
SkyeDS: and then people would tell me I had no right to be angry
evile: It may have been that she was trying to give me a 'reality
check' since I was so negative back then...
SkyeDS: rather than I had no right to do what I did
SkyeDS: you have to give reality checks in ways that make them
palatable else they're pointless, no?
evile: You have every right to feelings, and relatively little
control over how a person or situation will make you feel. But
learning to control behavior is very important.
SkyeDS: yep
evile: And focus is pretty key, too. as donna's LJ mentioned today.
SkyeDS: to me one layer of meaning in Aradia's Words Concerning Love
indicates that people need to learn to separate feelings from actions
SkyeDS: don't try to control the feelings
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: but do try to control your actions
SkyeDS: people seem inclined to "all or nothing"
evile: yup.
evile: so, 3 yrs ago, I have a friend who won't spend time with me or
acknowlege my feelings as valid. 2 yrs ago I was angsting about
thanksgiving & X, 1 year ago I was having angst about Sweetie being a
selfish slob.
evile: I still have no local friends that will acknowledge me if I'm
unhappy, Sweetie's still a slob, and Thanksgiving this year is lookig
like a bigger trainwreck than we've ever had....but not focusing
there is helping those things from being a real problem her ena dnow
for me.
SkyeDS: some things, after they happen a few dozen times, eventually
sink through the skull as patterns
SkyeDS: once accepted, then they're easier to water off a duck's back
evile: I don't seem to have any control over any of those things, so
worrying and fussing about them isn't going to help anything.
SkyeDS: serenity prayer (trite, but true)
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: that's interesting
SkyeDS: that Martha Washington quote came long before Abe Lincoln who
said roughly the same thing
SkyeDS: "you're about as happy as you decide to be"
evile: heh.
SkyeDS: which I always thought was my Gramma's, until I found out she
was quoting Abe Lincoln (which I doubt she knows)
evile: *nod* some stuff is just like that...
evile: whee...10 min. to my 3 day weekend!
SkyeDS: omg lol
SkyeDS: http://www.thestranger.com/current/special.html
evile: too funny :)
evile: well, I'm gonna toss papers & run. Have a great weekend & I'll
talk at ya Monday, sometime :)
SkyeDS: Wind to your wings.
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