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Jul. 2, 2004
Wow. hard to believe there's more than one Xtal out there in the
world..
http://www.fred.net/turtle/cgi-bin/listonerant?start=40781
Rant Number: 40781
When: A few weeks ago
What kind: I just wanna flame
Where: At my friend's house
You know, when we became roommates nearly a decade ago, I thought
this was a friendship that could last a lifetime. I was there when
you met your husband, there to help you with that inpromptu wedding,
and raced across two states to be there for the birth of your first
child. You asked me to be its godparent...I knew in my heart I would
do anything for our little extend-a-family, Then, everything changed.
Suddenly, I didn't know ANYTHING about children, according to you,
because I had failed to breed -you superior bitchy backyard dillante!
Lets not forget, I reminded you, nicely, that I have been taking care
of kids since I was out of fucking diapers, and then continued to do
my civic duty by working with abused children, etc. etc. But I
conceeded that you were the parent, that you were the one who would
know your child best. So if something bothered me, I would try to be
concise and factual without trying to vilianize your pathetic
parenting skills. I had faith that you would learn in time, like most
parents, because you loved your kid, and that's what parents do,
right? WRONG: I was patient when you ASKED your INFANT if it wanted
to go home after you drove 3 hours to come visit us. It said YES and
after three minutes of "Howdy Do?" You all were back in that fucking
car waving like prom queens with that "Aw shucks" shit eating grin on
your faces. It was past midnight, and you were hitting the road
again!. I was there for every birthday, every school event, every
party, where your little shitty brat screamed its little heart out
and ran around hitting me when you weren't looking. Then, to prove a
point, Your kid started hitting me IN FRONT OF YOU and the best thing
you could say was that I was being an idiot for letting a child *get
to me*. One time I said to hell with it, and gave the little monster
a spanking. You stared in disbeleif, then went on eating your dinner
like nothing had happened. I was there for that birthday party last
year when you invited the whole fucking school to dump off all their
kids sans-parents for an indoor party at a rundown two bedroom duplex
that less than a year ago housed meth. There you let your spawn say
mean things to the other children, insulting their gifts, and it
actually flung itself down and stomped all over the gifts for fun.
You stood there like a woman on VALIUM. Then you had the great idea
that despite rain, no useable tree, and no supervision, to turn a
bunch of elementry school kids loose on a pinata, The tree was
rotten, the branches kept breaking off and YOU HANDED YOUR CHILD A
LEAD PIPE to swing at the dummy, not caring that there were at least
20 kids encroaching nearby who were not the smartest little apples in
the bunch. I was there, and I managed the situation, and the kids
treated me like crap, cussing at me and being screwballs, yet I WAS
THE ONLY PERSON they hung around, cause guess what fucktard, KIDS
LOVE DICIPLINE! They like bounderies. They don't know what they want,
so its useless asking them all the time and letting them run your
life. YOU are in charge of running THEIR life. Otherwise, you'd have
a kid and they would swim away self-sufficient like sea monkeys. DUH!
I cried all the way home. Then, next year, I must have suffered
amnesia, because I showed up at the party, and the chaos was in full
swing. You were upset because I was late (???!!!) for saving your ass
I'm sure, even thought the only thing I promised to do this year was
bring a little game to share later, not orchestrate your obviously
ill planned debachle. I set up my little game, and of course the
rabid hord showed up for my special brand of loving negations. "No,
you can't do that" "No cutting" , "No, you can't eat all the cake
before we sing"...AND YOU DISSAPPEARED! Where in the FUCK did you GO?
To sip another martini on the porch? After several parental incidents
( the parents didn't leave their kids this year, but didn't lift a
hand to help either) , several selfish outbursts from your brat
(about presents again), so when the cake was over, I got ready to get
the hell out of there: after chasing all the kids away from that zoo
you call your pets. How many rats, chinchillas, birds, fish, frogs,
bunnies and contrasting carnavores do you need in that house? I guess
you should have handed out tiny body bags with the party favors for
the gerbils... I made to leave and your kid was in hysterics over the
chaos. Can I blame it? So in a momnet of pity, I told your kid I had
to go, but that I would come back and give it its present later. It
screamed, it howled, it was mad that I did not get it EXACTLY what IT
wanted. YOUR Brat said it HATED ME< HATED ME< HATED ME, and then ran
in cirlces scraming through its crocodile tears. I left. Later you
came by like nothing was wrong, and you had the nerve to tell me it
was all a little missunderstanding, that your brat just thought that
I was giving it something else it didn't want... Oh, fuck you! I
don't hate your kid, I HATE YOU!!!!!! You are the one raising this
shit to torture me, disrespect me, and spit in my face. YOU! And your
lousy parenting! You and your selfish pursuit of the *perfect*
childhood you never had. But your perfect childhood is the vision of
a child: all the candy you could eat, all the toys you could ignore
in excess, all the free privilidges that SHOULD NOT GO TO A CHILD
BECAUSE IT WILL ROT THEIR SOUL! And your kid is rotten. Each year
that passes, the damage is less reversable. And you continue to use
me like a lawn ornament to decorate your master plans. Your kid is
shamefull, and an embarrassment to itself, and me. When you wanted a
god parent, I didn't know you expected MIRICLES! What am I supposed
to do now? You assurp my authority every chance you get. I HAVE no
influence on your child, NO relationship worth speaking of despite
endless loving gestures you sabotaged out of jealousy lest your kid
like me more than you. HOW STUPID CAN YOU BE? Thanks to you, all my
good intentions go for nothing, and are forever undone. Your going to
have to drown kittens to see your child in the next life. Unless your
kid suddenly realizes your stupidity late in life and becomes a
Buddist Monk or some other form of non-violent bullshit
transformation, you'll have to visit it in Hell.
