evile: good news first: Z Helene is performing at Casa De Luz
tomorrow night at 8, if you're interested.
SkyeDS: sounds good to me.
SkyeDS: I just walked all the way to the courthouse and back to find
out that they moved the county clerk across town
evile: Awesome. I think it's $8 to get in, but I just got paid so it
can be my treat if you like.
evile: Crap! That sucks!!
SkyeDS: where is Casa De Luz?
evile: Toomey Rd, near Zach Scott theatre/behind Chuy's on Barton
Spgs.
SkyeDS: nods
SkyeDS: I have to pick up the rent today or tomorrow, but my thougght
was, the park never was that far from your house so I could pick it
up before or after I got you without it taking too much time
evile: *nods*
evile: pick up rent, come to my house, we'll look at garb, then head
on over to Casa de Luz.
evile: Oh, bad news time now. [Brother A] & the Rubber Pig are back together.
Apparently right after the Rubber Pig called everyone to tell us he was gone,
he came back. Neither of them could be bothered to call any of [Brother A]'s
family who might have been worried about them.
SkyeDS: I saw.
SkyeDS: so they will be at Elaine's for the 4th?
evile: Shit. I hope not.
evile: Regardless, I'm Done.
SkyeDS: it isn't raining today, tomorrow or Saturday, adn supposed to
be towards 95 all three days, hope the trails dry out
SkyeDS: but I remember Lorraine saying something about it raining
while she was there, and they just waited for it to stop and went out
right after so
evile: I never believe the weatherpeople.
SkyeDS: it's just, I know that they close the trails at McKinney
Roughs for days after rain
evile: *nods*
SkyeDS: I don't know how much rain Somerville's gotten. It isn't in
Milam County
evile: *nods* I think the parks & wildlife page has info on the
individual parks, weather conditions, etc.
evile: or try to call the park's office and actually talk to a person
about the trail conditions..that's usually difficult/impossible.
SkyeDS: no doubt. I've just never looked becausebefore
SkyeDS: Weather: July average high is 95 degrees; January average low
is 48 degrees. September and October wettest months; first/last
freeze, December 8/February 7.
SkyeDS: that's all that's on their webpage
SkyeDS: no big, I'll see if I can't get accuweather to tell me past
weather, it's good for futurre forecasts
evile: hm. I thought there was some place you could check current
conditions. Guess I should lay off the crack.
SkyeDS: says of course call the park for current conditions
SkyeDS: they never answer their phone
evile: *nods* it's frustrating.
SkyeDS: apparently 4th of July is end of their busy season (that's
good to know)
evile: huh.
SkyeDS: busy season, March - July 4
evile: makes sense.
SkyeDS: finding current and forecasts is not a problem
SkyeDS: finding what it's done in the last week...
evile: you would think the parks would leave info on a machine, for
people to call in and find out if trails/camping areas are open or
closed, etc.
SkyeDS: that would be what you got for thinking
evile: *shrug*
SkyeDS: the machine on the line at McK R says, "call for trail
conditions"
SkyeDS: ....well....
evile: helpful.
evile: I want to go to the voyager party saturday night...*pout*
SkyeDS: take the keys.
evile: ? stupid family crap, not a transpo issue.
SkyeDS: oh yeah. duh.
SkyeDS: brain freeze/
evile: Plus, they're not mine. I don't steal. Not even from Sweetie.
SkyeDS: <constant brain freeze lately.
evile: it happens.
evile: I suppose I could go to Voyagers late & miss the
discussion/demo. Not really that interesting, anyway.
SkyeDS: better than nothing?
evile: *nods*
otoh, the subjext for Poly 101 *is* of interest, but no way in hell
I'd be able to make it.
evile: I don't imagine I'll be done with fireworks & home until 10:30-
11.
evile: and probably too stressed/tired by then to enjoy myself
anywhere.
SkyeDS: what's the subject for 101?
evile: something to the effect of introducing secondaries.
evile: that or 'how to take SOs to company picnics'...I am not sure.
SkyeDS: I should go <sigh>
SkyeDS: I've been pondering what to say about taking Marcus with me
to the family reunion
SkyeDS: seems backwards somehow
SkyeDS: I take him with me to Texarkana
evile: I have liked poly 101 when I've gone. Lots of actual
discussion re: poly, unlike at poly dinners.
SkyeDS: but I didn't insist they tolerate him in my own home
SkyeDS: of course I don't know where I would have put him to sleep
SkyeDS: sleeping arrangements for five is bad enough, that would have
been six
evile: *nods*
SkyeDS: he would have been perfectly happy on the couch, but it would
have been too weird
SkyeDS: I think I'm going to say, look
SkyeDS: I have to stay elsewhere with the horses anyway
SkyeDS: so we're all gonna go stay with Shannon
SkyeDS: last time I get that chance before she moves
evile: yeah...
SkyeDS: ya'll don't have to have M in your home if you don't want, I
mean, you don't want the horses aroundeither so no difference <shrug>
evile: yup.
evile: Aunt L is talking about having an 'everyone' get-together while
Mom & [Sister H] are here. I have already told her about CRW & potential
new job for sineater which hours are not known (at least by me)...so you
have one/more 'out' if you're still peeved w/[Sister H] & all.
SkyeDS: his shift is 3 - 11 or will be if he gets it
evile: *nods*
SkyeDS: I don't hold a grudge, and hope she doesn't.
evile: no tellin. [Sister H] is a very reserved person.
SkyeDS: I have new perspective on the whole horses interaction with
family business anyway
evile: ? good, I hope...
SkyeDS: I'm tired of having to explain to family members on both
sides what the deal with the horses is
SkyeDS: so they can respect what I say because I said it and I know
what I"m talking about
SkyeDS: or not
SkyeDS: I'm done proving myself
SkyeDS: and it's not open for debate
SkyeDS: and not worth losing temper or getting bp up over
evile: nope. And my boundary is: I will leave if I am uncomfortable.
Period.
SkyeDS: just like, Kim telling Mimi that I abuse the horses
SkyeDS: oh please
SkyeDS: like she would know
SkyeDS: so from now on, anyone who doesn't like what I do with my
children, can report me, but I"m not going to fight about it
evile: I have no right to tell you how to treat your men or your
animals, but no reason for me to stay in a situation I feel
uncomfortable witnessing...*shrug*
SkyeDS: I wouldn't want you to.
evile: I know that when it comes to my siblings I'm overprotective
and bossy...but it does not stop me from feeling however I feel, ya
know?
SkyeDS: what upset me, at the time, was the challenge to my knowledge
base, if that makes any sense
SkyeDS: I refuse to feel threatened about my knowledge base now, no
matter who says what about it.
SkyeDS: I know what I know, and I know that I don't know a lot more
than I do know
evile: *nods*
SkyeDS: so from now on, people who think they know more than me are
welcome to have whatever opinion they like. I don't have to care
about it.
evile: yup
SkyeDS: I can leave, they can leave, or whatever, but it just isn't
reason to get upset, angry or whatever anymore
SkyeDS: I am in the process of eliminating such things, not looking
for more
evile: exactly.
SkyeDS: that's the way I handled something I did at Steppes that
upset some of the snobs
SkyeDS: they didn't like something I did, so I just went somewhere
out of their line of vision and did it anyway
evile: ugh.
SkyeDS: there was a time I would have gotten in their faces and said,
if you have something to say, say it to my face, this is my face, t
his is my back, don't get them confused
SkyeDS: but anyway, no, I have no problems, and if she still does,
I'm sorry.
evile: I guess it's hard to recognize or realize at the time
something is happening that people aren't attacking but voicing
concern....
SkyeDS: oh no, this was attack
SkyeDS: face making
evile: oh.
evile: I hope you don't feel [Sister H] was attacking you. She was
concerned about the animal, due to her experiences at SPCA
SkyeDS: and snotty murmurs about me just loud enough to be heard by
me but not addressed to me
SkyeDS: sort of woman cattiness
evile: steppes, you are talking about, still?
SkyeDS: she was concerned I know from her knowledge base
SkyeDS: which is not my knowledge base
SkyeDS: and imho I think I know more than she does, but at the time I
thought my knowledge was being challenged and so that's what I
reacted to
evile: It's totally different when someone is criticizing to be
nasty rather than voicing a concern due to safety for people or
animals.
SkyeDS: I don't see it that way anymore
SkyeDS: I suppose the two women could have said they were worried
about safety when an adult, that adult's child, and I were all
walking Mirage at the end of a 10 foot rope
SkyeDS: but I think that's a little farfetched.
evile: *shrug* like you say, depending on knowledge base of those
involved.
evile: Maybe those women own horses who can't be led that way or who
are nastier than Mirage so were going from their experiences with
nasty horse.
SkyeDS: these are the same women tell me every time I turn around, I
can't do what I see them doing without permission
evile: It's hard to give people benefit of the doubt when you feel
like they're attacking. But it makes you look *really* good when you
can smile kindly and say "Thank you for your concern, I'm so glad
you're looking out for folks!"
SkyeDS: and every time I go to Lorraine she says blow them off, I
have permission to do whatever the hell I want within the rules (that
needless to say I have already memorized back and forward)
SkyeDS: one of these women is a marshal and beats her stallion's male
organ with a boffer sword
evile: ick.
SkyeDS: and has anger management problems that have nearly gotten
pedestrians killed on trails before
SkyeDS: the other one is an exceptional equestrian
SkyeDS: I respect her knowledge greatly
SkyeDS: I know she drinks because she's in pain
SkyeDS: back pain. I understand that, believe me, especially now.
SkyeDS: but she's a mean drunk
SkyeDS: and she has the right to be highly opinionated
SkyeDS: I just wish she wouldn't be so....abrasive....about it.
evile: well, try to hear the words & not the tone. 'consider the
source' and all of that...
SkyeDS: exactly
SkyeDS: the source was two snobby women being catty.
SkyeDS: why I simply went somewhere else.
evile: *nods*
SkyeDS: told Lorraine about it just in case they tried to stab me in
the back, which of course they did, and Lorraine blew them off, end
of problem (until next time anyway)
evile: yup.
SkyeDS: they can be pissed off about Lorraine letting me do
everything they told me I couldn't do all they want
SkyeDS: I prefer not to spend my time pissed off personally
evile: yeah.
SkyeDS: this is probalby a bad way to put this
SkyeDS: but imagine you have a child
SkyeDS: you are educated in the needs of your child
SkyeDS: you're taking care of that child according to your
specialized knowledge of that child
SkyeDS: and someone says to you something that sounds to you like
they're implying you don't know what you're doing with your child
SkyeDS: if that's the way you heard what was said, you would take
issue
evile: *shrug* everybody's always telling pepole how to raise thier
kids.
SkyeDS: well, I used to take issue, because I was overly sensitive
about what I knew, because of all the times people keep telling me I
don't know what I damn well know I do know
evile: apparently it was one of the final straws in my freindship
with Xtal. I was telling her how to raise hers
SkyeDS: it isn't very much mind you
SkyeDS: but I have decided to have confidence in myself. probably
because now there is a small base of people who have confidence in me
evile: And I occasionally get death-glares and "don't tell me how to
raise my child" when I get kids out of the way of oncoming crowds,
closing doors, etc. in public places.
SkyeDS: that's the wrong way around I know
SkyeDS: it sould have been the other way but anyhow
SkyeDS: so I have to choose if I'm going to let these challenges to
what I know bug me
SkyeDS: and I choose not to be bugged anymore
evile: Or tell them not to yell. *shrug* Probably it isnt my job to
teach kids not to yell in movie theatres, stand in front of exit
doors, or run around like crack monkeys at the grocery store. But, I
still do it from time to time.
SkyeDS: people used to call CPS on Stephanie about Melissandra when
they were in HEB or whatever
SkyeDS: report her, and the CPS would say, she's doing what we told
her to od.
SkyeDS: do.
SkyeDS: anyway, if for whatever reason I'm persona non grata, it
doesn't bother me for ya'll to have a family get together without me
SkyeDS: it isn't like I can't find something else to do with somebody
else.
evile: That wsn't what I was trying to say, but Ok.
evile: sineater tends to feel badly when he feels like his family is at
odds with you.
SkyeDS: this isn't going to come across well.
SkyeDS: but a lot of the problems with his family are problems he
started
SkyeDS: so now he has this behemoth task
SkyeDS: kind of like that Sting/Police song about "Fortress Around
Your Heart" and having to avoid the landmines you laid yourself and
all
evile: If he feels like we dont' like you or dont' welcome you, he
will be defensive, take your 'side', (even if there isn't a SIDE to
take) and we wont' get to see him. So I would prefer that he didn't
feel like he was being asked/forced to take a 'stand'
SkyeDS: he probably feels like he has this Herculean task of cleaning
out Diomedes' stables or whatever
SkyeDS: he isn't.
SkyeDS: and I've told him that.
SkyeDS: I keep telling him the best way to handle uncomfortable
situations is for him to go and me to do something else.
evile: There isn't any need for you to exclude yourself or feel
excluded here. I was just asking for information...
evile: If you have a better offer, other plans, or would rather not
attend a family gathering, that is fine, no harm no foul. But there
is no need for you to feel as if you are not welcome if you actually
wanted to attend such.
SkyeDS: I wasn't sure whether I was or not
SkyeDS: so that's what I'm saying
SkyeDS: it doesn't matter to me, either way, truly
evile: Okeydoke. Any invitation extended to y'all *does* include both
of you...
evile: I have in the past extended invitations to Just sineater, for sib
time. No response, but that is nothing to do with you, it's all sineater,
far as I'm concerned.
SkyeDS: anyway, if he has a job by then it will be 3 - 11
SkyeDS: and I try to be here by between 9 and 10
SkyeDS: so either of us could do something in town before he has to
go to work
evile: *nods* I'll let Aunt L know. You usally work until what? 5? 6?
SkyeDS: 6 or later, but he will be at work by then
SkyeDS: his shift is nowhere near mine, and his location won't be
either :-.
SkyeDS: out there on Riata Trace Parkway out past the Arboretum.
SkyeDS: but then maybe that would be a good place to meet, is close
to Aunt L's kinda sorta?
evile: maybe. there's a cool place out there I've been meaning to get
bac to. they have a wine tasting room.
SkyeDS: breakfast brunch or lunch I would think.
evile: *nods*
SkyeDS: no, what I've told him is, the time to be up in arms and love
me love my dog was more than a decade ago
SkyeDS: it's too late now
SkyeDS: and does more harm than good
evile: Nobody has any plans yet, far as I know. I'll keep ya posted.
SkyeDS: but I don't have nearly the influence people think I do
SkyeDS: so as usual he does whatever, regardless of what I or anyone
else thinks about it
evile: No it's just easier to blame you than to be angry with sineater
for being exactly the way he always has been.
SkyeDS: I know what he's trying to do.
SkyeDS: but it's tantamount to closing the barn door when the horse
is already out.
SkyeDS: kind of pointless.
evile: he ditched a lot of friends & family when y'all first got
together.
evile: I dont' know how things are now, but then...
SkyeDS: he also created a lot of situations with family and friends
where they treated me badly, I believe, because they saw him do it
first
SkyeDS: and then didn't defend me
SkyeDS: and since I have never believed in asking someone to change,
I figured out the only way out was not to be in the situation of
needing defense anymore
SkyeDS: however, when he got mad right after the wedding, I'm the one
who kept him from disowning his father
SkyeDS: and his mother times I don't know how many times really I
quit counting
evile: *nods*
SkyeDS: I have told him countless times that because of my nearly
life long bad relations with my family, that I didn't think that
disowning was such a hot idea.
evile: oh well. past is gone, nothing to be done but bury it so it
don't stink.
SkyeDS: I thought we had.
evile: yup.
evile: Anyway, I've laid grounwork for several gracious "outs" for
y'all if you need 'em ...that's all I was trying to say.
SkyeDS: ty
evile: Aunt L can be pretty bossy & controlling (takes one to know
one...)
SkyeDS: I had thought to leave on Friday assuming he can get that day
off, if not, no reason not to do something brunch/lunchish if we have
to be here anyway
SkyeDS: but there's still the rest of the week
evile: Mom & [Sister H] are going to be getting in around 3 on the 23rd
(Friday), Mom will be here until Noon on the 31st.
evile: [Sister H] is here until Aug 8, but will spend the 1st-8th with her
dad.
SkyeDS: we have nothing going on the entire week K/mom will be here,
nor that weekend
evile: other than CRW and work :P
SkyeDS: I meant the week after CRW
evile: I know. I'm being obtuse now.
SkyeDS: sineater doesn't have to be to work till 3, and I can take off
for lunch whenever I want
SkyeDS: :P~
evile: I'll pass on the info to Aunt L.
evile: & Mom & [Sister H] when they get here. See what they feel like doin'
SkyeDS: now that we have two vehiculars again we don't have to
carpool either, he can do whatever without having to drop me off and
such
evile: *nods* that'll be nice for both of you.
SkyeDS: I don't know what things look like between him, you, Greg,
K/mom or any of that side of the family
SkyeDS: because it's been a long while since I was involved in
anything on that side of the family
SkyeDS: things with his mother are just werid
SkyeDS: I was the one after practice was cancelled to say hey, long
as we're here, let's go see your mom
evile: Joanie is just wierd, so naturally everything associated with
her is fubar.
SkyeDS: he flat out wanted to just go back home
evile: A bookstop coworker once had a button that said "Thank you
for turning an ordinary transaction into a bizarre ritual"--prety
much sums up all dealings with Joan.
SkyeDS: lol
SkyeDS: I emailed her the address where we would be practicing and
invited her to come watch
evile: I haven't seen her since the gathering after Poppy's funeral.
During which she tried to get me and greg onboard with her "save
Erics soul" campaign. It was terribly rude and inappropriate of her.
SkyeDS: sineater says she emailed him back and indicated she understood
the nature of the invitation (being to come see us because we weren't
coming to West U)
SkyeDS: so when we get there, she calls the cell Mom gave me for my
birthday to ask if we could come over.
SkyeDS: (before we knew practice was cancelled)
SkyeDS: she's still on said campaign
SkyeDS: they go back and forth over it
SkyeDS: I told him, look, you laid down the law and then you went
back on it
evile: she's a real boundary-tester. Greg has told her more than once
that he is not interested in the soul-saving talk and she persists in
bringing it up every time she sees or talks to him.
SkyeDS: when you say "we aren't talking about this anymore ever"
SkyeDS: and then you go back on it
SkyeDS: what do you expect a boundary tester to do
evile: which is why she does it. if she gets a NO enough times she
will quit.
SkyeDS: maybe
SkyeDS: I got her to quit on my account
SkyeDS: and it was a long conversation that did it
SkyeDS: however, I am not her child
SkyeDS: she asked me what I believe and why, and I told her, in detail
evile: The way it works for greg is she approaches him re: saving
soul, and greg says "I am not discussing this with you" and she
changes the subject. BUT she does it every time she sees him. And he
has to say "NO, we are not discussing this" every single time. she's
like a 2 year old.
SkyeDS: I get the impression she's always been like that
SkyeDS: and she's on so much narcotics now, I don't see how her brain
could not be fried
SkyeDS: darvoset, percoset, vicadin, and now methadone.
SkyeDS: and refusing to have surgery done, etc
evile: nice
SkyeDS: so it's hard to be angry with her now
SkyeDS: because whatever was wrong to begin with, now the drugs make
it worse
evile: no point in getting angry. Just say "No" and repeat as many
times as it takes.
evile: think of it as a 2 year old who persists in turning on the
stove.
evile: "no" (remove little hands from stove)
SkyeDS: since I suspect that the conversation I had with her, if he
had a similar one, would do him no good
SkyeDS: I don't see what else he can do besides keep saying no
evile: anger at a child is unproductive and possibly even abusive
(depending on which parenting book you read)...just keep saying NO.
evile: you don't give a 2 year old big reasons for staying away from
the stove. You just say No.
evile: Or m aybe "no, now let's go play with the things you ARE
allowed to play with" ?
evile: It's not a topic she's rational about, so there's no way to
have 'dialogue'.
SkyeDS: I remember a time when you didn't discuss sex politics and
religion
SkyeDS: in "polite company"
evile: *nods*
SkyeDS: now that Hugh is back, I have to try to find the County
Clerk's office, again.
SkyeDS: might be back before 4 and might not
SkyeDS: HUGS in case I'm not
evile: Okeydoke. Good luck!
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
