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Your question has a lot to unpack, for sure.
First, you characterize people sharing their stories and abuse recovery advice as “overreaction.” That is incorrect. In fact, characterizing someone reacting or responding or objecting to abuse “overreacting” is gaslighting[1], a minimizing tactic used by abusers. “You’re overreacting,” they will say, after their victim finally explodes after a period of being needled, bitched at, snarked at, belittled, and poked at for hours or days. “you’re too sensitive,” and, of course, if the target dares to try and impose a boundary, “you are being hateful,” or “you hate me”…..it’s nonsense.
The plain fact is that if you behave appallingly toward the people in your life you are supposed to love and care for, eventually there will be consequences of behaving dreadfully. That is not ‘overreaction’ or ‘hate,’ my friend, it is the consequences of your own behavior coming back to bite you in the butt. Even the kindest, most giving, most selfless people will eventually come to the end of their rope and declare that they have had enough BS.
Next, let’s unpack ‘witch hunt,'[2] This term is currently being over-used by a narcissist in the White House to demean and invalidate legitimate concerns and accusations of wrongdoing.
Again, the narcissist gaslights their victim and minimizes and trivializes their very real concerns regarding the narcissists abusive, criminal behavior. In the 16th century, ‘witch hunts’ were serious and deadly affairs. Women were imprisoned without food, water, or sleep, sexually assaulted while in prison, burned with hot pokers or pincers which were used to tear off pieces of their breasts and private parts, repeatedly ducked under water (think ‘waterboarding’), forced to sit on red hot iron stools, and executed. Usually by hanging, though popular images tend to show them being burnt at the stake, which also happened. After which, all of their possessions were taken from them and either given to their accusers or taken by the law enforcement officials who had tortured them to death. These spectacles were well-attended by the populace, and somewhere around 60,000 people lost their lives to superstition and malice.
Narcissists are not innocent victims of envy by friends and neighbors who are tortured to death by law enforcement in order to steal their material possessions. They are abusers who perpetrate criminal acts of physical and mental cruelty and abuse upon their victims—usually family members, lovers, spouses, or ‘best friends.’
The fact that awareness of this mental disorder is allowing people to become aware of narcissistic abusers in their lives, and the fact that people are sharing their stories and helping one another work through their trauma and heal from their abuse, is not a ‘witch hunt’ nor an ‘overreaction.’ The stories people share here and on other forums, and in self help groups, are not a form of ‘group hate’ against some persecuted minority, they are cries for help and healing that are heard by others who feel moved to offer help. I feel it is normal and natural to ‘hate’ someone who has treated you shamefully, at least for a short time. Hate is not a pleasant emotion and I don’t think it’s healthy to spend a lot of time hating anyone, but it is part of the healing process for many.
In closing, I would respectfully suggest that if you feel personally attacked by anyone’s story of narcissistic abuse, it may be time for you to do some introspection and seek counseling for your own issues, rather than accusing other people of being hateful, over-reacting, or engaging in witch hunts. These stories are not for you, or about you, they are people reaching out to find help and understanding, for their own healing and peace of mind.
Footnotes
[2]Editing to add: Posts tagged 'quora' were originally my answers to peoples' questions on quora.com. They were monetized but I am giving them away for free here.
If you feel inclined to support my writing, here's my paypal
And if you prefer to pay it forward, I recommend Safe Place as an excellent place to support.
