Quora: When does a narcissist start hating his spouse?

When does a narcissist start hating his spouse?

 

Here’s the big secret about narcissists: they NEVER stop hating anyone, ever. Their core being is one big ball of hate, for everyone, everywhere, including themselves. Or, perhaps, to look it another way: they don’t love themselves, therefore they cannot love anyone else, and the faster they can project all of their flaws onto someone else and hate that person rather than themselves, the more comfortable they are. Their flaws become someone else’s to attack. Their mistakes become your fault.

The harder you try to please and appease the narcissist, the more contemptible they will find you. They only have respect for people they can’t control or manipulate, and that respect is also tinged with fear and hatred, they’ll do what they can behind your back to bring you down if they can. “Kiss up, kick down” is the narcissist’s motto.

Before you said your vows, the narcissist kept up the act of affection and adoration, the gifts and the little fun surprises, and the good sex. Once you say the vows and the narcissist takes possession of your home and goods, there is no further need for them to pretend any more, and the humiliation and torture can begin.

The affection is the mask, the love is fake. The hate is real. So when they remove the mask and show you the hatred and contempt they have for you, that is the truth that was always there.

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