Feb. 4, 2004
evile: yay rain! Happy Wednesday :)
SkyeDS: lol
evile: I may skip Poly Dinner & go mallrat instead. I'm not feeling
very sociable.
SkyeDS: I haven't done anything for Hugh in a couple of weeks now so
I'm going over there till 8 - 8:30
evile: Good plan :) Keep that other possibility open & working for ya
evile: I went to skate night--accomplished my goal & skated for an
hour. But had a very bizarre conversation that has left me annoyed &
not looking foward to next week.
SkyeDS: I finally got tired of sharon railing about my puter being
on, so I squared off with her about it today. very liberating.
evile: Good deal.
SkyeDS: what happened...
evile: This guy that I occasionally chat with (among many 'skate
friends') just asked me a series of personal questions and generally
kind of offended me. he's in sales, so that would imply he has people
skills of some sort, so maybe I just took things wrong
SkyeDS: Sharon came in just as I was rebooting launchcast which
crashes from time to time
SkyeDS: and started in on it, and gave me a lecture about not
trusting me to get my work done
evile: oh for gods sake.
SkyeDS: so I pointed out that it is obvious whether or not work is
getting done, so does she really want to discuss whether or not I am
being acceptably productive
evile: good point.
SkyeDS: because if she meant to go there, I was ready to tackle the
issue of what i shouldn't have done Friday and Monday that aggravated
the injury.
SkyeDS: and she answered with a wishy washy, well I'm not sure if
things are getting accomplished as fast as they ought to be or not
evile: duh, lady. If you think you can find somebody better, give
Skye_ds the boot and quit yer bitchin.
SkyeDS: exactly
SkyeDS: the short of the situation is this.
evile: It's not like you have to make a giant paper trail to get rid
of temps.
SkyeDS: I'm sitting in a room bout the size of a child's bedroom
SkyeDS: no desk.
SkyeDS: only one file cabinet I can get into.
SkyeDS: two that don't open/don't belong here in the first place
SkyeDS: the one that does is in the hallway.
SkyeDS: and I have literally hundreds of files and things that should
be files that are piles
evile: How awful.
SkyeDS: this case has been in existence since March of last year.
SkyeDS: and she thinks that nearly a year of disorganization is going
to clear up in three weeks, including a move?
evile: I want some of whatever she's on.
SkyeDS: she got off that and asked me what I was working on, so I
showed her a behemoth pile, and said, I'm having to read every single
piece of paper in this pile to figure out what it is and what to do
with it.
evile: ew
SkyeDS: and pointed to several other likesized piles which needed the
same treatment. So then she figures out, that she knows what's in
these piles better than I do, and it would get done faster if she
went through them with me.
SkyeDS: homer simpson moment - like duh
evile: What fun.
SkyeDS: the constant bullshit about the computer doesn't bother me as
much as the serious allegation that I was wandering hallways and into
other offices.
SkyeDS: she only made that once, to my handler, and NOT to me.
evile: WTF
SkyeDS: a very serious allegation against a paralegal who is under
stipulated protective order.
SkyeDS: the floorplan here is deceptively simple
SkyeDS: I spent the first day lost alot. As did Michelle (the boss's
boss's secretary and One With All The Answers)
evile: how bizarre.
SkyeDS: I have the only office on the unsecured side. My badge
didn't work Friday, so I wasn't even on the secured side unless
Michelle let me in, and then I was within her and delphine's line of
sight any time I was over there.
evile: presumably doing business-related stuff, not 'wandering'. What
Ever. That is nuts
SkyeDS: I surmise from Sharon backing down when I pressed her about
my productivity, that if she gets rid of me, there won't be a
replacement. And however bad she thinks I am, I'm better than
nothing.
SkyeDS: which is what she gets if I leave.
SkyeDS: any "wandering" was done trying to find my own office, or
Sharon's, in a labyrinthine maze.
evile: What a nightmare.
evile: Listen, I do NOT want you to be in trouble over this ICQ
stuff. If you need to go work, just go on & do what you need to do &
don't worry about me, 'kay?
SkyeDS: I do.
evile: Okay. I can chat & work, too, but I just wanted to be sure you
weren't feeling obligated
SkyeDS: what happens is that she always comes in here when I'm
rebooting the radio or rating a song or whatever.
SkyeDS: she has the damndest split second timing
evile: Yup. I know that one. I'm probably due for another talking-to
from the boss lady any day now. *yawn*
SkyeDS: whafor
evile: 'internet use when not on break or at lunch' bla bla bla
SkyeDS: I don't see why employers give a damn about anything besides
productivity
SkyeDS: as long as what needs to get done, gets done right, the first
time, on time, every time, who gives a damn? (as long as you're not
surfing porn or gambling of course)
evile: me neither. Every business study in the world shows that
employees are happier and more productive when they are allowed to
direct their time and productivity themselves.
SkyeDS: after she spouted the wishy washy stuff, she admitted that my
analytical skills were excellent and that I did an excellent job with
the projects I've been given so far.
evile: She sounds like a total flake.
SkyeDS: she made a comment in passing one day that sometimes she
thinks she liked being a legal assistant better than an attorney.
SkyeDS: when I put that together with what Tom said about most lady
lawyers having a hard time reconciling being a lady with being a
bitch with being a lawyer, I wonder if perhaps her natural aptitude
is more towards paralegal work than attorney work.
evile: J-Law's said similar. But why torture other people for your own
work-related angst?
SkyeDS: in the same way that my attorneys have noted in past that I
have natural attorney aptitude in addition to paralegal aptitude.
SkyeDS: the business world in general does not pay attention to
natural aptitudes (talents for lack of better word, versus knowledges
and skills which can be taught)
evile: right.
SkyeDS: I don't care how much you teach a fork, a fork is better
suited for eating than for writing an essay.
evile: heh.
SkyeDS: legal secretaries require a different personality than do
paralegals, than do lawyers
SkyeDS: some of us actually thrive in combinations of those settings,
and some of us don't
evile: yup
SkyeDS: I'd rather be a paralegal, but I have the aptitude to be
nothing but a secretary with no problem.
evile: assuming they'd let you. Usually once they find out you have
skills above & beyond the job desc, they try and make you work harder
for the same shit money
SkyeDS: that has happened in almost every contract I've serviced
evile: It's happening to me right now >(
SkyeDS: nods
evile: I might be OK with making what I made 2 years ago, IF I was
not being expected to produce more #'s, work more complex cases, and
administer the TEUC appeals.
SkyeDS: and the problem being, part of you wants to do the work
because it's more meaty and interesting, and part of you wants justly
to be paid commensurately for what you do.
SkyeDS: nods
evile: exactly.
SkyeDS: and the problem has been, every time I"ve been hired purely
as a paralegal, that the secretaries who are supposed to be doing the
secretarial work so that I don't have to take time away from what I'm
doing to do it, don't want to do work for a paralegal, because
it's "beneath them" somehow.
SkyeDS: so I end up doing all my own secretarial work anyway.
evile: J-Law does that too at times, and it pisses her off. But stuff
has to get done.
SkyeDS: zactly
SkyeDS: Sharon brought up the printed vs handwritten label thing, and
I told her, well, I've been handwriting for a couple of reasons.
SkyeDS: one, I have no printer access
SkyeDS: two, when I ask Delphine to do it, it never gets done and
causes bad feelings
evile: oh lord, heaven forbid you ask someone to do something that is
part of their job description.
SkyeDS: so I told her, when I get to an appropriate place, I will
make a list of labels I need printed. I will ask Delphine what
template to use, and then I will type them all up myself, put them on
disk, and all she'll have to do is print them
evile: good plan!
SkyeDS: because, I told her, I find the more I do myself, the faster
it gets done.
SkyeDS: (it shouldn't be that way, but I didn't go there)
evile: heh.
SkyeDS: I guarantee you she had to hire me because Delphine
can't/won't (not sure which, or what combination) organize.
evile: yuck.
SkyeDS: some of the analysis has been pure paralegal work
SkyeDS: but the organization is secretarial
SkyeDS: and actually, pure paralegals (particularly men) have no gene
for organization, any more than attorneys do
evile: yeah, but you can't get to the stuff you need to analyze
before you get it organized in a way that makes it accessible...
SkyeDS: that is the whole problem in a nutshell
SkyeDS: Sharon hasn't been able to do analysis because it hasn't been
organized
SkyeDS: so after I've gotten something organized and brought it to
her, she's found that my analytical skills are such, that she'll give
it back to me to analyze instead.
evile: whee :P
SkyeDS: I stand by what I told her in the interview. If a file is
organized correctly from the get go, even if the file takes up an
entire war room, it manages itself in terms of generating work.
evile: yup
SkyeDS: I told her this morning, however, that this is the most
behemoth set of case files that I have personally handled, and so to
some extent, I will need some guidance.
SkyeDS: she wants to micromanage where it isn't needed, and hasn't
until today given me the micromanagement where it IS needed.
evile: Hey, it never hurts to know when you're in over your head &
ask for help. But one would hope to get an appropriate response when
asking for help.
SkyeDS: the big boss, Paul, is a trip.
SkyeDS: in the same breath he'[ll tell her that she spends too much
time on SCO, and that he thinks I have nothing to do (my whole
purpose is to free her time up from SCO somewhat)
evile: nice.
SkyeDS: oh, and his problems with Michelle seem to be my fault
somehow too.
SkyeDS: she has taken a few days off, surprise surprise.
evile: yucko. That is so nuts.
SkyeDS: and she's looking for another position elsewhere in the
company.
evile: smart gal.
SkyeDS: I know for a fact she drinks a bottle of shiraz every night
she leaves here, and every day she thinks about walking at least once
evile: Not good.
SkyeDS: she's good looking and exceptionally good at her job.
SkyeDS: and very badly treated and underappreciated.
evile: Sad
SkyeDS: think I'm gonna wonder over to the cafeteria, brb
evile: OK.
SkyeDS: listens to the door shut and lock with a satisfying thud
evile: WOOHOO!
SkyeDS: [Auto Response] I am currently away from the computer.
evile: I got a nice email from sister H. Turns out she's going to be
able to visit Mom in MT at the same time as me :) We even got the
same flights & times for the segments of our trip from MN to MT,
coming & going :)
SkyeDS: <wistful envy> sigh
evile: I got a very good deal on the flight & since I'm staying with
Mom & she's letting me drive her car, it'll be a pretty inexpensive
trip :)
SkyeDS: Mom got way tired of playing taxi over Xmas but she wouldn't
give me the car so <shrug>
evile: It's gotten to where flights are usually the cheapest thing
about travel. Rental cars & hotels are still pretty expensive.
SkyeDS: least the cafeteria here is good
evile: That's good.Ours is a greasepit.
SkyeDS: I could eat right and well. But I don't.
evile: It's hard to make choices & plan sometimes.
evile: I found a good website for calculating BMI, finding calorie
counts & stuff. You can buy her diet, but I am not convinced I need
to do that.
http://www.annecollins.com/
SkyeDS: I'm medicating myself with food, and I know it
SkyeDS: I'm worse than an alcoholic/druggie sometimes
evile: Sometimes there's a very big gap between realizing a problem
and finding a way to solve it.
evile: *hugs*
SkyeDS: well, this too shall pass, eventually
evile: Yup. Since February is a short month & I can tolerate just
about anything for the short term, I'm trying to eat between 1200-
1400 calories a day. I should lose a pound every 5 days or so. Work
days are easier because they're structured. We'll see how the
weekends go.
SkyeDS: eating right at work isn't a problem or shouldn't be, will
need a shopping trip to eat right at home, but I can do that this
weekend
evile: I am lucky (unlucky?) in that my digestion has finally decided
it's old enough to be cranky.
evile: So when I do the emotional overeating thing, or any kind of
binge, really, my intestines and stomach make me VERY SORRY. Sorry
enough to reconsider the emotional eating in the first place.
SkyeDS: my intestines have always done that
evile: Man, when I was a college kid & up until maybe a year ago, I
could eat or drink anything, in any combinaiton, and be just fine. In
a way I miss that, but I think it's important to respect my body's
messages, esp. when it will HURT BAD not to!
SkyeDS: that ended when I turned 21 (bout graduation time too)
SkyeDS: along with it went the ability to function on 4 hours sleep
evile: bummer. :(
I tried to join Overeaters Anonymous once, but it was too pathetic
even for me.
SkyeDS: I don't overeat, I eat the wrong thing, and I don't exercise
enough.
evile: I think OA is for anyone who has a bad relationship with food,
not necessarily bingers per se.
evile: Being that I have authority issues regardless of gender, I can
never get past the step where you admit you are powerless and turn it
over to the higher power. Bullshit.
God did NOT put that entire bag of oreos in my mouth and s/he is NOT
going to suck them out of my thighs either. It's my fault & up to me
to fix it.
SkyeDS: God helps those who help themselves
evile: Anyway, OA was all these hand-wringing ninnies talking about
how this that and th other had 'made' them overeat/binge/purge/bla
bla, and I was like "nope, I'm outta here"....Also, they were overly
focused on some big OA convention that since I was a newbie, I wsn't
excited about.
SkyeDS: no.
SkyeDS: I know I medicate myself with food
SkyeDS: I know it when I'm doing it
SkyeDS: the one thing I don't do is delude myself.
SkyeDS: I know what's wrong, I know what I need to do about it, and I
know I just need to "do it" (to quote Nike)
evile: Not to belittle your (my) struggle, but it could be lots
worse. At least our addiction is legal and not nearly as harmful as
other things we could be doing to ourselves.
SkyeDS: true
evile: It's tough.
SkyeDS: although the populace occasionally makes noises
SkyeDS: bout putting taxes on foods with high fat content
SkyeDS: as if fat content is what makes everyone fat
evile: Processed foods are what does it.
SkyeDS: processed foods, carbs, lots of things
SkyeDS: which differ in combinations for individuals
evile: High Fructose corn syrup = #1 enemy of healthy bodies.
SkyeDS: which is in the list of ingredients for a NutriGrain bar 8
times.
evile: America didn't have an obesity epidemic until HFCS became a
staple in all manufactured foods.
SkyeDS: I think calling something "Nutri" anything is misleading when
it's got corn syrup in it eight times
evile: There have always been _some_ fat people in any population,
but not the percentage we have now. And the only change from the
American Diet of 50 years ago and now is HFCS. and soy. But soy is
more of a concern for women than men, I think, whereas HFCS is a
peril for everyone.
evile: it's a marketing ploy. As with anything else, Caveat Emptor.
SkyeDS: people don't read labels and don't think
evile: Which is basically the problem all the way from the top all
the way to the bottom in our society, from government to what we
shove in our faces. We trust 'our' party to make the best choices for
us. We trust a box that says 'healthy' or 'nutri' and don't do any
research on our own.
SkyeDS: I enjoy research (I know I'm weird)
evile: People dont' seem to understand that you get what you pay for.
Whether you are buying what you think you've bought..that's a whole
nother question.
SkyeDS: we are lazy people
SkyeDS: I don't think we were always like that
evile: If someone buys food because it's cheap and easy, they
shouldn't be surprised to find it full of hog tits, filler, and
preservatives.
SkyeDS: if I can't pronounce it, or don't know what it is, why would
I put it in my mouth.
evile: People get 'busy', convinced they have something 'better' to
do than take care of their bodies & health.
evile: But show me any 'busy' person and I'll show you someone who
wastes enough time (online or with TV) to cook a healthy meal from
fresh items or go for a walk.
evile: It's just a matter of deciding what your priorities are, and
whether you have more of a stake in keeping things as they are, or
changing them with possibly unknown consequences.
evile: A lot of people decide that either they won't do what they
want to do until they're thin, or else decide that being thin is
going to solve all their other problems in life. Neither are very
healthy approaches.
SkyeDS: nay
evile: Being thinner made it easier to wear high heels & more fun to
shop for clothes. And that's all it did for me. I was still socially
retarded, I still had bad eyesight, I still made poor romantic
choices, I was still in debt up to my ass.
SkyeDS: haven't considered it that way before
SkyeDS: I don't think I enjoyed my good looks when I was younger
SkyeDS: I don't think I appreciated that I was good looking, thinner,
whatever
evile: Me, neither. Never know what you've got until you don't got it
no more :P
SkyeDS: too true
evile: But in a way, it makes it easier. I mean if you don't pin a
huge 'miracle cure' expectation on your body weight, it makes it less
of a big deal either way.
SkyeDS: I want to feel better, that's all
SkyeDS: and that's what I liked about lower carb/more protein
SkyeDS: I felt better
evile: Exactly. Health is the #1 reason to do anything for your body.
Bonus if it makes you look better...but enh. It's not the main thing.
evile: J-Law and I have been pondering on this Q. today: is it true
that Jerks are good in bed and nice guys are usually total flops, or
is that just our personal bad luck?
SkyeDS: I went through between two and three dozen partners before my
first orgasm
SkyeDS: some of whom were nice guys and some of whom weren't
evile: Orgasms are wierd though, they can be had either thru high
technical proficiency OR thru really loving & trusting your partner.
SkyeDS: true
evile: And sex can be fun even if you don't get to the big O.
SkyeDS: also true
SkyeDS: but, if he's a nice guy, maybe he's worth some coaching in bed
SkyeDS: some of them can be taught
evile: true enough
SkyeDS: whereas you can't teach the ones who are not nice but good in
bed, to be nice out of bed (I learned that the hard way many times)
evile: yup.
evile: When you're the oldest student on campus, you dont' mind
playing the initiator role so much, but it gets old the older you get.
evile: J-Law is getting bored with it, that's for sure. Glad I settled
down at a relatively young age. If Sweetie leaves or dies, that's it. I'm
buying one of everything in the Blowfish catalog and dying alone.
SkyeDS: I don't like teaching them if they're not fast studies.
SkyeDS: I got over cherrypopping pretty quickly in college.
evile: heh.
SkyeDS: notwithstanding that the baby and Kaleon were both virgins,
but they were ...ah....well educated and had lots of natural
talent....<faint blush>
SkyeDS: I guess I'm something of a harsh judge though. If the kiss
isn't good, you aren't going to get any farther, and I'm not
interested in teaching you.
evile: heh. That's a good yardstick.
SkyeDS: have outgrown sympathy fucks too. no teaching potential
there either.
evile: yecch. definitely.
evile: brb- potty break.
evile: everyone's freaking out about the floor waxing deal tonight.
glad I mostly did my stuff yesterday.
SkyeDS: they were supposed to fix my office today, go fig
evile: hassle!
evile: My sinus headache isn't going anywhere. I woke up with it and
it has not gone away. I think I'm skipping poly dinner for sure. I
just know I would not be good company or enjoy hanging out with a
group right now.
SkyeDS: I hate wakin gup with a headache
SkyeDS: if I wake up with it I almost can never get rid of it
evile: Mine usually go away once I am upright and the crap can drain
out of my sinus cavity.
evile: I took some stuff at lunchtime, had no impact, but I know if I
took more, I'd get all dizzy-headed.
SkyeDS: I find dayquil or a combination of sudafed/excedrin useful
when I have to be alert
SkyeDS: if you take the liquid dayquil that shit wakes you up from
the f'ing taste.
evile: Anything with pseudoephedrine will just make me wacky. Not
sleepy at all, but totally unable to focus or think straight. It's
fun, but not conducive to work.
evile: Sudafed is like speed was when I did such things. Very fun,
utterly useless.
evile: I'd end up alphabetizing my pens or something
SkyeDS: lol
SkyeDS: I still wish my life hadn't just turned into Office Space
SkyeDS: it has occurred to me that there's some reason she hasn't
already cut me loose
evile: I can't even imagine having a job I liked with coworkers I
like, doing something I felt was worthwhile.... It would be awesome.
evile: In your sitch, I'd bet $ that they waited 'til the last minute
to get shit organized, and now they don't have enough time to replace
you and train your replacement before stuff starts to hit the fan. So
they figure it's better to stick with you because at least you know
what you're doing. Even if they dont' 'like' you or whatever the
interpersonal BS is.
SkyeDS: well there is a discovery hearing friday that was already
postponed from two weeks ago
SkyeDS: and I know that Paul (the big boss) doesn't want ANYONE here
SkyeDS: so if she cuts me loose chances are he won't let her replace
me
SkyeDS: that would make her options me or nothing
evile: Sounds like a really frustrating situation for all concerned
SkyeDS: I suspect it may put her more firmly between the rock and the
hard place than me
SkyeDS: I can leave any time I want, because I have two other irons
in the fire - without sending out resume one
evile: well, yeah. But she's already shown that when she feels
squeezed, she lets you feel the pain.
SkyeDS: past tense. I've found the briar patch.
SkyeDS: yesterday was my first painfree day (physically) in three
weeks.
evile: That's very good
SkyeDS: I'm not afraid of the axe anymore, matter of fact, I'll
welcome it any time
SkyeDS: I might never get another assignment from Spherion in Houston
anymore, but ya know, all these agencies I work for, they don't call
back after you pinch hit for them on the fly once.
SkyeDS: the one agency that used me well, their Austin office went
out of business, and they offered to move me to SA or D but no thanks
SkyeDS: never did submit to Peak Perfomers either (was on my to do
list)
evile: So there really isn't a bridge to burn.
SkyeDS: I like Hugh. I like his surroundinjgs. I like his area of
law.
SkyeDS: it won't pay as much, there won't be benefits of any kind.
But I can handle that. It's a trade for my sanity health and
happiness
evile: Plus, if he grows his business, all of those things could
change for the better.
SkyeDS: indeed they could
SkyeDS: he wants an independent contractor right now so he doesn't
have to worry about taxes. and that's fine by me.
evile: right.
SkyeDS: particularly if I have other income coming from other
independent endeavors like teaching
SkyeDS: and when I prove my worth and have a track record, I will
have capital to ask for permanency, benefits with
evile: yup.
evile: I can't wait to be out from under all my medical crap so I can
go looking again.
evile: My skills are stale to nonexistent, so I will probably not be
able to make as much as I do here, but....I need out.
SkyeDS: I figured things were significantly bad when Aunt L left.
Before she died, without need of a crowbar.
SkyeDS: and I met an attorney who worked there, who left because of
politics
evile: yup. So far I'm low enough on the food chain for nothing to
hit me personally, but I see it coming.
SkyeDS: ya know
SkyeDS: I've met a significant number of people who like me, don't
really like either major party
SkyeDS: because they are fiscal conservatives and social liberals
SkyeDS: hate the Democratic fiscal policy
SkyeDS: and the Republican social policies
SkyeDS: and it seems like a candidate with my views more or less
would be viable
SkyeDS: but snowflakes would flourish in hell before I could get
elected, what with being a poly pagan rennie (and bi curious at least)
evile: With enough $$ you could get Bobo the Red-Assed Baboon into
office. Oops, we already did.
SkyeDS: mundane vanillas would never get past my non mundane, non
vanilla interests
evile: Totally OT, but your 'bi curious' comment reminded me: I had a
dream the other night that you and Debbie had become lovers, but you
were pissed off at her because she was lazy around the house.
SkyeDS: I don't remember Debbie offhand
SkyeDS: and I'm lazy around the house.
evile: She was "Priscilla' at the Decemberween party.
SkyeDS: oh ok, I remember now. I wouldn't tell her no.
evile: She's cool. She is one of the people who has an idea that
they'd like to see me domme their husbands. I still have no idea what
that's all about.
SkyeDS: brb movers here
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