Feb. 3rd, 2004

evile: (clutter)
 
  • Feb. 3, 2004

    7 a.m.: coffee w splenda & half & half = 40 calories
    8:30 : chocolate slim shake= 220 calores
    9:15: SJW = 300 MG
    11:30: Shake = 220 calories
    Multivitamin
    1:30: Calcium, 600 MG
    2:30: Prunes = 60 cal
    5:00: Prunes = 60 cal
    7:30: (Spike & Mike at Alamo Drafthouse):
    1 Newcastle = 140 cal
    2 Jalepeno poppers = 200 cal
    Buffalo chicken Salad:
    Battered/fried chicken breast= 160 cal
    Bleu cheese dressing = 200 cal
    3 celery sticks = 15 cal
    Romaine lettuce = 60

    Today's total: 1385

    Per
    http://www.annecollins.com/

    I need 2009 cal. per day to maintain current weight.

    So I did good!

evile: (clutter)

    Feb. 3, 2004

evile: (clutter)
 

1907ICQ w/A

 

    Feb. 3, 2004

     

     

    evile: hola :) How was your weekend/lupercus?
    SkyeDS: haven't done lupercus yet, may do something tonight
    SkyeDS: the weekend was lovely
    SkyeDS: yesterday at work was not
    evile: How was Excalibur?
    SkyeDS: don't really know, they seemed pleased, but it will take a
    week to hear back from them
    evile: Well, hopefully it was a fun time, regardless.
    SkyeDS: we had a good time and got done in time to go to the park
    (late) but the sun came out (at the park, not the audition)
    SkyeDS: and I came to some resolutions last night that literally took
    some of the weight off my shoulders that was aggravating the existing
    neck injury
    evile: Yeah, Saturday turned out nice. Sweetie ended up going to Pace
    Bend to camp. Unfo I had plans in town smack in the middle of the
    day, so I didn't get to do HFS or Pace Bend.
    SkyeDS: we ought to go check out PB together sometime
    evile: Resolutions are good. Good time of year for 'em--Lupercus is
    a 'spring cleaning' kind of holiday, yes? :)
    evile: Pace Bend is FUCKING EXPENSIVE--$15 per vehicle, $20 if you
    want hookups & / or a shower. I'm sorry, 5 bucks for a shower??
    SkyeDS: <arches brow> yuck
    SkyeDS: and I can take a shower by running the horses' waterhose into
    the trailer.
    SkyeDS: not a hot one of course
    evile: $15 per vehicle would be cool if you could get several people
    together, but since I am the cat who walks by itself, whether it
    wants to or not...that is a bit high.
    evile: For $15 I could buy a truly stellar bottle of wine and have a
    nice night in front of the fireplace, with electricity & hot running
    water.
    SkyeDS: cheaper places to ride too
    SkyeDS: McKinney Roughs is $5 - 10 (depending on whether you get the
    discount book) - on the honor system
    SkyeDS: I don't know how well the honor system really works
    evile: That plus taxes must keep it going, or else they'd close it.
    evile: The Travis Co. parks system has an Annual pass for $75, but
    many of the individual parks have an additional fee that you pay
    whether you are a pass holder or just a 1 time visitor, looks like $2-
    3 per use. You'd have to do a lot of camping to make it pay for
    itself.
    evile: Then again, having a season pass somewhere would probably
    motivate me to get my ass out of the house more often.
    SkyeDS: the McK Roughs book would be more valuable to me (but it
    doesn't involve camping)
    SkyeDS: however, just down the same road is the Happy Horse Motel
    SkyeDS: www.happyhorsemotel.com
    SkyeDS: has camping and an elizabethan cottage for rent
    evile: Have you stayed there before? It looks cool.
    SkyeDS: no and it looks very cool
    evile: Maybe you could make a bday or anniversary trip out there. V-
    day is probably already booked solid.
    evile: especially at $75 a night :) that is a good price.
    evile: heh. I like these people.I bet they're Childfree: "Got kids?
    See the Dog Rule if they're under 18. But they can sleep indoors if
    you insist on bringing them!"
    SkyeDS: nods
    SkyeDS: means would have to make special arrangements for Arthur, who
    doesn't need to be sleeping outside
    evile: The concerns they have for dogs probably dont' apply to
    parrots. I can't see Arthur chasing & spooking horses, biting flanks,
    etc.
    SkyeDS: nods. that is the reasonable view.
    evile: But seeing as it's a small mom & pop, probably polite to
    clarify their policy & make sure Arthur wont' be a problem before
    actually showing up with him
    SkyeDS: was my thought
    SkyeDS: and, there are many places with no pets policies that once
    they meet individual birds, make exceptions
    evile: right.
    evile: The plus thing of the Travis Co. annual pass is that it goes
    from whenever you buy it to the same time next year. All the other
    season passes I'm contemplating, I have to buy them NOW or forget it.
    And I have various financial things kind of looming so I really don't
    know if I can spend the $ yet or not. Feh.
    SkyeDS: nods
    evile: The Schlitterbahn season pass is $115!!!! *dies*
    SkyeDS: that good or bad
    evile: I dunno, you got $115 just sitting around waiting to be burned?
    on one hand, you have Fiesta TX season pass which is between $45-50.
    They have a waterpark. On the other hand, 1 trip to Bahn is almost
    $30, AND you can bring your own food & drink. So...I guess if you had
    the money to spend and you knew you were going there at least 3-4
    times this summer, it would be worth it.
    SkyeDS: I don't see myself going that many times
    SkyeDS: didn't when I lived closer, not likely now that I'm an hour
    further away
    evile: It's just an awful lot to spend at one time.
    SkyeDS: we don't do any one thing enough to buy a season pass really.
    evile: the employees committee has discount tickets for $25-26 a pop.
    Not great, but fine if you only get out there once a season.
    evile: I am becoming less inclined to go anywhere or do anything if
    I'm just going to be alone anyway. I can be alone for cheaper at home.
    SkyeDS: I'm waiting for Kaleon to figure out that he's doing just what
    he used to criticize sineater for doing
    SkyeDS: which is, if he wants to spend time with me, either he does
    things with me that I like or invites me to do what he likes to do
    evile: Enjoy the wait. Boy doesn't have much in the way of
    introspective abilities.
    SkyeDS: but if for example he doesn't want to do faires/parks/trail
    rides with me. And tells me that he doesn't want me at his
    game/movie nights, well that whittles away a great deal of time on
    both sides
    SkyeDS: I just don't see why people emulate what they criticize in
    others.
    evile: it's important to have personal boundaries, and
    friendships/interests outside of the relationship.Otherwise there's
    too m uch pressure on 1 partner to do/be everything the other person
    wants & needs
    evile: But, if he's saying "I don't want to go to faire with you"
    and "I dont' want you at my games night" and THEN bitching because
    y'all have no 'us time'...then he deserves a little smack.
    SkyeDS: well yeah
    SkyeDS: he keeps bemoaning the loss of the good old days
    evile: being college, in which he had maybe 4 hours a day of 'work'
    and the rest of his time was to do with himself as he pleased?
    SkyeDS: well, in the good old days, we had many common interests in
    which we spent time together. He used to show interest in riding,
    faires, and used to invite me to game.
    SkyeDS: and now he's gone back to the "I don't enjoy riding and never
    did", which makes me feel like all the time he said he did enjoy it
    was a lie.
    SkyeDS: he doesn't want to hang out with me and my friends and
    doesn't seem to want me hanging out with him and his
    evile: The problem probably lies in your choice of other riding
    companions/venues rahter than any problem with riding itself.
    SkyeDS: so I don't know what else there is to do
    SkyeDS: no, he's always had this issue with riding
    SkyeDS: his parents "forced" riding on him
    SkyeDS: poor kid had five horses/ponies forced on him as a child
    SkyeDS: <wished my parents had forced that upon me>
    evile: So, for a while he put up with it to make you happy & then
    decided he didn't really want to do something he didn't like just for
    your sake. Sounds like he established some healthy boundaries re: his
    own happiness & wants.
    SkyeDS: so first he said, I don't like riding because of the history
    with my dad, and then he said, I'll go with you anyway, then he told
    me he enjoyed it, and now it's back to the beginning <shrug> drama.
    SkyeDS: zactly
    evile: After college, one finds that one must spend more time on
    tedious tasks to ensure survival. One finds that when it was once
    very easy to keep in touch & spend time with friends, it is now an
    EFFORT.
    SkyeDS: "I don't get any time with you because you spend it all with
    sonar0m"
    SkyeDS: well no, I spend most of my time with sonar0m AND sineater
    evile: *smack smack smack* bad kaleon!
    SkyeDS: sonar0m treats sineater with the utmost respect, looks up to him,
    and calls us his family
    SkyeDS: Kaleon has always treated e
    SkyeDS: sineater as an adversary
    evile: As if pouting & being ugly makes you want to spend more time
    with him
    SkyeDS: like duh
    SkyeDS: and, sonar0m likes going to faires and riding and such, and so
    we do those things together. And when sonar0m has been in gaming
    groups, I was invited to join them (and did for a short period of
    time)
    evile: Some people are like that. They waste too much focus on what
    they dont have and can't have rather than what they do have. Don't or
    can't enjoy the moment.
    SkyeDS: so, how hard is it to figure out?
    SkyeDS: I guess what he wants is alone time that isn't tied to any
    particular event.
    evile: I can totally respect wanting to have interests and
    friendships that are not shared with ones partner, but you have to
    realize that when you give time to those interests, you *are* taking
    time from your partnership.
    evile: This is the real grownup world, we dont' have cake and eat it
    too.
    SkyeDS: I don't have any alone time for myself, don't know where he
    thinks I can produce some for him
    SkyeDS: and ya know, the road travels both ways
    evile: yup.
    SkyeDS: I always have to go to his place, he refuses to come to mine
    (again because of sineater and/or sonar0m)
    evile: But that's kind of a win win, isn't it, because you then start
    your Mondays closer to work?
    SkyeDS: that was the original idea but it hasn't worked that way the
    three weeks I've been working here
    evile: bummer.
    SkyeDS: the Baby's parents will not meet me halfway anymore in terms
    of picking him up/dropping him off
    evile: That sucks, too. But that's not Kaleon's fault & he probably
    doesn't see it as his problem.
    SkyeDS: so I either take him all the way home on Sunday, Kaleon and I
    both take him home on Sunday, or take him to school monday morning
    which is literally just down the street from work
    SkyeDS: so I've been so tired on SUndays, I just go to sleep and take
    the baby to school
    evile: sonar0m needs to find another taxi, sounds like.
    SkyeDS: I don't intend to make it Kaleon's problem
    SkyeDS: and, I know there is more privacy at his place than at mine
    SkyeDS: but wouldn't hurt him every once in a while to come see me
    rather than the other way around
    evile: You should encourage sonar0m to find other ways home.
    SkyeDS: from Rockdale?
    evile: Maybe leave him at Drandmir on your way to Kaleon's on Sun, and
    he can get a ride from an HFSer?
    SkyeDS: Drandmir is a LONG way out of the way to Kaleon's
    SkyeDS: might as well take him all the way home before I go to
    Kaleon's, same distance
    evile: Or maybe leave him at a classmate's/study groups in Austin?
    evile: Maybe the shrink will tell his parents to get him a dorm room
    SkyeDS: that's been my point all along, he needs the freedoms he
    would have living in a dorm
    evile: And _you_ need to be able to spend quality time with people
    and not be playing taxi all over the damn state.
    evile: I'm sorry if that seemed rude, but...it just seems like you
    are doing too much for these guys & not enjoying it
    SkyeDS: this is why I don't understand why I always have to go to him.
    SkyeDS: privacy is good and all that
    SkyeDS: but once in a while why couldn't he come to my place
    evile: Sure, assuming you could ask sineater and sonar0m to take a hike
    for a while.
    evile: Another thought: maybe Kaleon doesn't feel comfortable hanging
    with you and HFS/Faire friends because he feels like he's burned
    bridges in the past & now people aren't going to want him around?
    SkyeDS: you wouldn't be referring to his tendency to go to a group
    event, sit in the corner and wait for someone to come pay attention
    to him with no effort on his part...?
    evile: I got the impression that he wasn't going to be coming back to
    GWNN or Austin Poly because of his disagreement with me. Like anybody
    at GWNN even knows who I am, or like there aren't enough Poly people
    at any given group not to have to interact with me & my closer
    friends?
    evile: I am mostly a corner-sitter myownself, so I can't pass
    judgement on that behavior :)
    SkyeDS: he vacillates about gwnn.
    SkyeDS: he doesn't like la madeline, so he doesn't go to munches
    anymore but he talks about parties every once in a while
    SkyeDS: his new thing is Rocky on Fri/Sat nights
    SkyeDS: and he hasn't invited me to do that, either
    evile: ew. Be glad. Rocky is...ick. I got over that ages ago.
    But if you wanetd, we could go. It's not like it's an invitation-only
    event :P
    SkyeDS: I know.
    SkyeDS: I've told him he gives me the distinct impression that not
    only does he not want to be with me and my friends, he doesn't want
    me around his friends either.
    SkyeDS: which, if I were going to be insecure about it, would make me
    feel like he's ashamed of me.
    SkyeDS: which I did think, a very long time ago, but now I don't
    really care.
    evile: Maybe 'ashamed' is not the right word. But you could be right.
    SkyeDS: the whole time structure as it exists now is very aggravating
    SkyeDS: in general
    SkyeDS: I asked him nearly a year ago for some sort of semi-set time
    to spend together
    SkyeDS: once every other week or so
    evile: It made him really uncomfortable at Poly dinner when X 
    offered negative opinions about you and he didnt' really feel that he
    could defend or argue because he didn't want to offend the rest of
    the group/her friends.
    SkyeDS: and he said that he would have to have his secretary pencil
    me in around gwnn and poly and all this other stuff that he didn't
    want to take me to because I would be an embarassment
    evile: Why do you keep him, again? Golden Cock? Oral skills? ???
    SkyeDS: rofl mfiao
    SkyeDS: he did this to himself
    SkyeDS: I asked him for time a year ago and he didn't have it to give
    SkyeDS: and now he wants time, and guess what, I don't have it to
    give either, and he doesn't want to fit into the time frame as it
    currently exists.
    evile: I mean, really, honey, if a man was telling me he didnt' want
    me to meet ANY of his friends, I'd see that as a giant red flag. And
    if he followed that with "I dont' wnat you to embarass me"...I'd be
    GONE. Gone. I dont' care how much money he has, I odnt' care what he
    does in the sack, I don't care how much history we have.
    evile: That is just an incredibly insensitive and hurtful thing to
    say...beyond rude.
    SkyeDS: nods
    SkyeDS: he backed off that last summer, and now of course anytime I
    refer to something he's backed off of, he gets mad
    SkyeDS: I'm not trying to bear a grudge, I'm trying to show him how
    the current state of affairs came into being.
    evile: I can totally respect having different groups of frends,
    different interests (Sweetie's computer & VW for instance)...but Sweetie has
    never told me I can't go to his gatherings of geeks because I'd
    embarass him. And he never would say that.
    SkyeDS: it's simple and linear. I asked him for time, he said no, I
    found other ways to spend time. Now he wants to change that, and it
    isn't that easy.
    evile: I just dont' see why you would want to accomodate someone who
    is so demeaning and hurtful to you.
    evile: If you need someone to make you feel bad about yourself, there
    are plenty of people in the world who can do that.
    SkyeDS: <sounds lame I realize> he did stop, and he did apologize.
    again, only reason I brought it up, is by way of recounting the
    events that lead up to what is the time allotment today
    evile: Apologies are fine & dandy, but it is the subsequent behavior
    that indicates whether the apology meant anything or whether it was
    just another tool to manipulate you.
    evile: Nobody is more sick, sad, and sorry than a man after he's beat
    the shit out of his woman.
    evile: And it doesn't mean a damn thing regarding promises of future
    behavior. He can be as sorry as he wants but if he keeps telling you
    you're an embarassment...where is the change?
    SkyeDS: nods
    SkyeDS: well next time he says something I'll offer to go to Rocky
    with him.
    evile: ew. would not wish that fate on my worst enemy. but ... it
    might be interesting if you've never been.
    SkyeDS: I haven't seen the new Austin cast and don't really have any
    desire to <shrug>
    SkyeDS: I'm going to go over to the cafeteria (next building over)
    and grab something to put down my neck, brb
    evile: OK :)

  •  

 

1908Re: ICQ w/A

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    evilE

    Feb. 3, 2004

     

     

    (rebooted)
    evile: back. yay for computer stupidity!
    SkyeDS: wb
    evile: You know, I got a wild hair a couple months ago to go to RHPS.
    Glad I allowed my instincts to guide me. I got a very strong feeling
    someone I didn't want to see would be there if I went.
    evile: Assumed that would be Xtal, since she's still friends with
    Joanna, who is a die hard Rocky freak.
    SkyeDS: nods
    evile: I'm glad I do sometimes trust my irrational intuitions
    evile: I am probably biased, but when I was a Rocky Regular the crowd
    seemed a lot more attractive, interesting bunch of people than the
    current ones.
    SkyeDS: agreed
    evile: And then when I went back around 90, they were all YOUNG. But
    still very cute & interesting.
    evile: The last time I went, I was so bored & disgusted, I left
    before the movie was even halfway over.
    evile: Then again, maybe it's just me. I get that way at faire some
    days, too.
    SkyeDS: music is like t hat
    evile: I can see that, for a musician like you.
    SkyeDS: lol I'm just an old fuddy duddy now
    SkyeDS: although I can happily listen to just about anything
    evile: I can put up with anything, but actually 'listen' to very
    litte, music-wise (like radio & at clubs & such)
    evile: another reason I like the internet radio so very much...there
    is far less to tune out while I wait to hear something I really
    like :)
    SkyeDS: I am really liking launchcast
    evile: me too.
    evile: Helped me survive the superbowl blather around here yesterday,
    since you weren't here :)
    SkyeDS: yesterday was a bad day
    SkyeDS: I am going to resign should another such occur
    evile: Yucko. I'm sorry to hear that.
    SkyeDS: I can make as much money (taxfree too) teaching riding
    lessons as here
    evile: Yeah, but then you run into the whole marketing/drumming up
    clients hassle.
    SkyeDS: got that solved
    SkyeDS: someone is going to advertise for me
    evile: cool :)
    SkyeDS: for free even though I offered a discount
    SkyeDS: that reminds me, I need to check out what lessons/riding
    rentals run these days
    SkyeDS: so I can undercut the market :)
    evile: heh.
    evile: It would be ideal to do what you like doing (and do anyway,
    out at the parks) and actually get paid :)
    SkyeDS: amen
    SkyeDS: I could make 20 an hour tax free doing half hours for 10 ea
    evile: *fingers crossed*
    SkyeDS: which is about half of what others are charging
    evile: That would be cool.
    evile: My 1 attempt at teaching failed pretty miserably, so I
    probably wouldn't try it again.
    SkyeDS: I'm just not going to bill myself as something I'm not
    SkyeDS: I'm good at teaching kids the basics. that's it.
    SkyeDS: I don't rodeo, I don't do English.
    evile: But a lot of kids need basics, so I'm sure you could find a
    niche.
    SkyeDS: even if they don't need lessons, just a rental for half an
    hour for 10 is way cheap
    evile: true.
    evile: And then if you got a Travis co. pass or a McKinney Falls
    pass, you could write it off as a business expense --'classroom
    rental' for you & your students :)
    SkyeDS: good idea!
    evile: Figure the kids would want practice on a couple of different
    trails/terrains.
    SkyeDS: once I'm sure of them in a controlled situation, yes
    evile: right. Not first thing, but as a 'field trip' or
    a 'commencement exercise' or something.
    SkyeDS: nobody wants to be bored riding
    SkyeDS: and eventually, once the wonder of just being on a horse
    wears off...
    evile: yup. Plus you really do need different environments & riders
    need to get confident about stuff--crossing water, climbing hills,
    etc.
    SkyeDS: that's true
    SkyeDS: I can teach trail as a discipline
    SkyeDS: and that would also give me time to do some trick training
    SkyeDS: and I could buy an entire library of training books and write
    it off
    evile: sure. :)
    SkyeDS: some free style dressage would be good for faires/events
    evile: yup.
    SkyeDS: http://www.amysponyrides.com/rides.htm
    evile: Nice.
    SkyeDS: I could undercut that quite comfortably
    evile: sure.
    evile: They're stripping & waxing the floors & we have to get
    everything up off the floor. I can't even tell you how much it bugs
    me to have my hard drive & boxes I'd stowed under the desk up on top.
    egh. I do not do well when my environment gets changed.
    SkyeDS: I believe you
    SkyeDS: the move is what made this place unbearable
    evile: Just little changes can be stressful.
    SkyeDS: I have finally achieved an "Office Space" state of bliss
    SkyeDS: so I really don't care, and will be perfectly happy when they
    say leave
    SkyeDS: "oh no, please don't throw me in that thar briar patch!"
    evile: hee.
    evile: That was just at the Drafthouse. Kinda sorry I missed it. But
    it was downtown, at midnight. ech.
    SkyeDS: when we were young and could exist on 4 hours sleep
    evile: I was thinking more about the parking situation on a weekend
    night at midnight, but you have a point there, too. I'd probably need
    a nap before going to the midnight show of anything these days.
    SkyeDS: I couldn't do it at all on a worknight
    evile: oh, hells no.
    evile: potty break - brb
    evile: I guess I should look on the bright side of this floor-waxing
    nonsense--it'll finally get swept under my desk. There are feral dust
    creatures down there that have been here longer than I have.
    SkyeDS: nods
    evile: people keep complaining about sick building syndrome and they
    keep telling us the building is fine...but I think there may be
    somehting to the complaints.
    SkyeDS: entirely possible
    evile: I am OK unless I do something that stirs up the dust under my
    desk or on the monitor/cubicle/etc. Then I get all the good allergy
    symptoms.
    SkyeDS: lovely
    evile: Yeah. Theoretically we have people who come in and clean after
    hours. They empty the trash, but that's about it. Every once in a
    while I just get sick of the dust & dirt, clean & suffer the
    consequences :P
    evile: oh, egh. debate re: the death penalty.
    SkyeDS: don't understand why people are more hyper over Janet's fake
    tit than over the budget "conservative" Bush just passed.
    SkyeDS: his track record to me looks like he's only a social
    conservative, and a fiscal liberal
    SkyeDS: and that is completely fucking assbackwards
    SkyeDS: (to me anyway)
    evile: When you're raised with a silver spoon up your nose, money
    doesn't mean anything.
    evile: I am not a big enough conspiracy nut to think that the Janet
    boob hoo-ha was created to distract the public. But that plus CBS
    refusal to air an anti-bush commercial does make me think a litte.
    evile: I can't even imagine what it must be like to be able to look
    at ANYTHING and say "I could buy that" But that's the way Bush's
    entire life has been. Companies, cars, women, drugs, accolades,
    college degrees, titles, homes, anything ANYTHING he has ever wanted
    has been his for the $.
    SkyeDS: must be nice
    evile: He is a giant asshole cockroach. If having everything you
    could ever want as soon as you want it makes you that way, forget it.
    SkyeDS: "if the Gods wanted me to vote, they'd have given me
    candidates!"
    evile: But he just cannot relate to 90% of the US population because
    of that. When people complain about no job or no money, he literally
    can NOT relate to that at all. He is a total sociopath with no
    empathy whatsoever.
    evile: Sadly, the dems won't pull their heads out of their butts in
    time, I don't think. The next election is gonna belong to W.
    evile: Interestingly, I just read that 36% of the current deficit is
    NOT due to the war or the economy, but to the tax breaks W gave
    everyone (especially his rich friends)
    evile: Oh well, you can do anything with numbers & percentages.
    SkyeDS: can't remember whether it was Twain or Disraeli that
    said "there are lies, damn lies, and statistics"
    evile: too true :)
    evile: Silly what people waste their moral outrage/energy on. A boob
    isn't going to hurt anyone, whereas a few more stupid fiscal blunders
    could bury this country
    SkyeDS: nudity is more important than the budget doncha know
    SkyeDS: "but it was a depiction of violence against women"
    evile: Only if you stop to think how much she probably paid for that
    boob.
    SkyeDS: yes, well, I will teach my daughters that if they see
    that/experience it, to beat the shit out of him
    evile: Justin Timberlake should be locked up. First he deflowered
    Whatsername the teen girl singer, now he's grabbin' on Miss Jackson.
    SkyeDS: brittney spears
    SkyeDS: who turned around and kissed Madonna to get back at him after
    they broke up or some such (or so it's been said on news radio) why
    it'snews is beyond me
    evile: I wouldn't kiss Madonna on a bet.
    evile: She was cute when she was doing her 'boy toy' thing, but now
    she's just too hard & stringy looking. Plus she probably smokes & has
    diseases they haven't named yet.
    SkyeDS: lol
    SkyeDS: she has a musical career to envy, but that's it to my pov
    evile: yup.
    evile: Mostly marketing.
    evile: A lot of times I don't think it's about talent or even beauty,
    but marketing & ambition. (neither of which are my forte,
    incidentally )
    SkyeDS: I don't think she's got beauty, I know I'm not in the
    mainstream thinking that, but she's got talent, and marketing and
    ambition to spare.
    evile: Some talent, but by no means the best voice I've ever heard or
    anything. And very weak in her first couple albums until she got some
    actual training.
    SkyeDS: nods
    SkyeDS: she did have something worth training apparently
    SkyeDS: that goes back to the nature v nurture / genetics v
    environment thing that has always interested me so much
    evile: yup.
    evile: argh. One of the loudest & most talkative people in my unit
    comes over and tells me the fricken life story of this particular
    piece of paper and then gets all snippy when I attempt to shorten her
    visit with humor. ergh.
    evile: And I always enjoy the built-in implication that I fucked
    something up...when in fact, there was no error.
    SkyeDS: Sharon's favorite game seems to be to tell someone to do
    something, jump on t hem when they do and then say "I did NOT tell
    you to do that"
    evile: that's pretty fucked up.
    SkyeDS: and not a damn thing I can do about it either
    SkyeDS: sineater suggested a micro recorder, but he damn well knows that
    both Dell a nd IBM don't allow recording devices. That would be
    instant dismissal.
    SkyeDS: handler suggested a diary.
    evile: a paper trail would be better than nothing.
    SkyeDS: as I told handler, I am well aware that I am guilty without a
    chance to prove myself innocent.
    SkyeDS: everyone knows what's what, but nobody's going to stick their
    necks out for me, I understand that.
    evile: during my last days at IEC, I kept a minute-by-minute log of
    absolutely everything that happened-phone calls, instructions from
    supervisor, my actions in response, etc. And photocopied it and put
    it on her desk every day.
    evile: I process about 100 appeals a day. So it's really not
    productive for someone to come wave a piece of paper in my face and
    say "Do you remember this one?"...um,no. Not without looking him up
    in the system or looking for documents on my desk in my various piles.
    SkyeDS: I halfway suspect there will be a call from the handler long
    bout 5 today
    SkyeDS: about a half-foot tall pile of desk files that she told me to
    recycle, and then upon finding out yesterday that she needed them
    after all, blamed on me
    evile: ugh.
    SkyeDS: and every time she comes in here to find my computer on, she
    throws a fit.
    SkyeDS: I'm tired of pointing out that I'm running the clock and the
    radio while I work.
    evile: good lord.
    SkyeDS: she came in, and for the dozenth time threw a fit about the
    puter
    evile: jeezus.
    SkyeDS: and I said, I'm running the radio
    SkyeDS: and she said, what's with the groklaw webpage loaded?
    SkyeDS: and I said, well, I have that set as my homepage. I read it
    first thing this morning while checking voice mail, and I haven't
    looked at it since.
    SkyeDS: having to explain that level of detail is just aggravating
    evile: micromanagement is always pretty intolerable
    SkyeDS: she's beginning to act pretty much like Jeanine Lehman did,
    and I begin to wonder if most (not J-Law) women lawyers are like that
    evile: could be.
    evile: J-Law gets panicked, I would not want to work under her. She's a
    good friend, but I could never work for her.
    SkyeDS: Sweetie said I needed to work for a senior partner, and
    preferably one who is a strong dominant alpha male (which I assume
    would be part and parcel of being senior partner)
    evile: that's interesting.
    SkyeDS: and he said, I should never work for a woman
    SkyeDS: he didn't explain
    evile: hee. Probably true, considering your issues with your mother.
    SkyeDS: don't know about that one way or the other
    SkyeDS: but I know I don't like being micromanaged
    SkyeDS: and I don't like having my integrity questioned
    evile: yup.
    SkyeDS: and this business of telling people to do something, them
    doing it, and then getting onto them for following orders, that's
    f'ing BS
    SkyeDS: Sharon doesn't just do that to me either. I've seen her do
    it to others too.
    evile: Sucks to be them--they're probably permanent FT folks, unlike
    you, who has a light at the end of the tunnel.
    SkyeDS: I do have that light now, after last night, and that's no
    doubt why my neck feels so much better, even though I'm out of muscle
    relaxer, went off and left my remaining prescrip NSAID at home on
    accident, and haven't applied the heating pad at all yet today
    evile: mind over matter.
    SkyeDS: came home yesterday in a world of pain, just like Friday,
    despite the medicine
    SkyeDS: got in the saddle and all the pain went away (I'm not
    supposed to be in the saddle mind you)
    evile: I'm sure you didn't overdo it--time with loved ones is always
    healing.
    SkyeDS: well you know Mirage has such gentle gaits, even a trot isn't
    painful, and the lopes are easier than the trots
    SkyeDS: nothing better for the inside of me than the outside of
    Mirage.
    evile: yup.
    SkyeDS: people at my family reunion said it, even sineater's family said
    it (when they weren't jumping on me), and two or three people at SCA
    have said it
    SkyeDS: I should teach children to ride.
    SkyeDS: and the Lord Marshall's wife said she could find me several
    clients immediately if I printed cards and gave them to her (I had
    already intended to publish them in the bus card register of the
    local newspaper)
    evile: cool :) That would be really ideal.
    SkyeDS: I have always let her kids ride for free, and said, that
    should hardly change if you help me build a clientele
    SkyeDS: but she insists on paying me if I start accepting money
    SkyeDS: and didn't even want to hear about only paying halfprice
    either
    SkyeDS: beats all I've ever seen
    evile: That's very cool.
    SkyeDS: our SCA just is nothing, not a damn bit, like the Austin SCA
    evile: Rockdale?
    SkyeDS: nods
    SkyeDS: they've practically adopted us, and they are a very happy
    little family
    evile: As with HFS, I'm sure each groups 'feel' depends on the
    individuals involved.
    SkyeDS: hopefully I won't muddy the waters like I managed to w/ both
    Drandmir and BD
    evile: You are giving yourself way too much credit for those screwed
    up situations. I'd say it was more about 'them' than you.
    SkyeDS: to an extent
    SkyeDS: but I didn't help it by having a thin skin and other social
    skill problems
    evile: Live & learn. Which I think you have, yes?
    SkyeDS: think so, time will tell
    evile: good. That's all you can do
    SkyeDS: met some of the Temple SCA, military pagans :)
    SkyeDS: as long as I don't mess up irreparably with Katy or Thax, I
    don't care so much about Drandmir anyway.
    evile: yup.
    evile: I'm not sure where things stand with me & Liz.Thax still seems
    Ok with me, but I like Liz & I wanted us to be friends.
    evile: She said she understood my POV (finally) re: the LJ entry that
    made her un-friend me on LJ, but then she never re-added me to her
    friend list. *shrug*
    evile: It's not 100% but I'm trying harder to keep my LJ "what i am
    doing" and also trying harder not to speak/type before I think. Much
    improvement is still needed. My brand of honesty is unwelcome &
    hurtful in most situations.
    SkyeDS: looks faintly guilty of that myself
    SkyeDS: next time I see Thax, I'll see if I can take him aside for a
    second to see if we're ok
    evile: He may just have other stress going on. Definitely a good idea
    to ask before making an assumption
    SkyeDS: with Liz being the way she is, it might not have anything to
    do with me, why he's ramped down the harmless flirting
    evile: The last couple times I've seen Liz, 1) she went to sleep and
    2) she dropped off some people and drove away [I was assuming she was
    going to park & get out herself, so I didn't run over to the car or
    anything]--so I haven't had a chance to chat with her at all about
    anything.
    evile: Thax is just...flighty. Usually he just wants to go play &
    doesn't have time to sit around gabbing. or at least that is the
    impression I get.
    SkyeDS: he doesn't flirt like he used to, and doesn't seem as
    lighthearted somehow
    evile: I guess I don't have enough experience to have a basis for
    comparison. When I see him at craft day, he's task-focused, when I
    see him at the park, he's game-focused. Any hugs before/after are
    just incidental.
    SkyeDS: he used to be an incorrigible (but delightful and harmless)
    flirt in a big way, with a great sense of humor, and very
    lighthearted and playful
    evile: hm.
    evile: Well, pretty much since I've known them Liz & Thax have had
    job troubles, car troubles, money worries, and Liz's baby rabies...
    so maybe I never knew him at his 'best'
    SkyeDS: nods
    evile: Nobody can be 'on' all the time. I know this from personal
    experience in my "Legendary Evile" days. Ya hate to disappoint the
    fans, but when it comes down to it, you're only human.
    SkyeDS: lol it is hard to live up to a legend isn't it
    SkyeDS: and the legendary me is much more interesting than the real
    one
    evile: My friend Donna has this trouble with her faire persona quite
    a bit. It's a struggle.
    SkyeDS: tis a good thing that it isn't a stretch for an Italian witch
    to play a Romany.
    evile: heh. true.
    evile: they always say 'write what you know' which probably applies
    to RPG and stuff just as much as novel writing.
    SkyeDS: kind of wish I felt like I could spend the money on PHantom
    of the Opera, it's coming soon
    evile: That would be cool to see at least once.
    SkyeDS: you don't see much of it when you're performing it in the
    pit :-/
    evile: true :)
    evile: Well, dang, it's about time for me to make my rounds & get the
    heck outta here.
    SkyeDS: yep
    evile: I'm going to try & get to skate night tonight & Poly dinner
    tomorrow. Maybe see you?
    Keep me posted about Excalibur :)
    SkyeDS: I wanna go skating <sniff>
    SkyeDS: we used to have a rink and a theater in Rockdale but don't
    have anymore
    evile: suck.
    evile: You probably shouldn't risk it until you're better healed...
    SkyeDS: not only that, need to start walking and strengthening the
    ankles first
    evile: yow.
    evile: Well, my goal for Feb. is to hit skate night every Tues, if
    you decide you want to come out.
    SkyeDS: I can start doing weeknights in general when I am rid of the
    IBM monkey on my back
    SkyeDS: (ie, I will be working for Hugh during the day and not at
    night0
    evile: cool :) Keep me posted
    SkyeDS: yes ma'am
    SkyeDS: safe journey home
    evile: Sorry, did that come out rudely?
    SkyeDS: lol no
    evile: Oh, okay then. I usually only get called ma'am when I'm being
    wretchedly rude.
    SkyeDS: it does lack something without the drawl
    evile: heh.
    SkyeDS: the drawl is needed to make it humorous, sorry
    evile: Okay, no prob. Always better to ask than assume :)

    evile: *hugs* Hang in there! See ya soon!
    SkyeDS: ciao bella

evile: (clutter)

    Feb. 3, 2004

     

     

    6:15 - SJW 300 MG
    6:45 - Vitamin B complex under tongue
    7:00 - Coffee with splenda & half & half = 40 calories
    8:30- Shake 220 cal
    9:15 - SJW 300 MG
    11:30 - Lean Cuisine lunch 260 cal
    Multivitamin
    3:00 - Calcium 600 mg
    4:30 - Shake 220 Cal
    6:30- 5 fajita wings - 500 calories
    2 bites choc. chip cookie - 100 cal

    Total: 1340

    -669 calories for the day

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