evile

They might, but the family of origin for a narcissist is probably the source of their personality disorder; generally such folks come from parents who are narcissists themselves ( or a narcissist/codependent duo) and/or abusive in some way and/or addicted to drugs or alcohol. The narcissistic child’s behavior will probably not be remarked upon or recognized as malignant while he or she is living in such a chaotic household, and the narcissist learns at an early age which mask to wear in which circumstances, so they will compartmentalize their lives and only behave in abusive narcissistic ways in times and places where they can get away with it—”kiss up, kick down” is the narcissist’s motto. They may do very well in school and other organizations due to this ability to manipulate authority figures.

Once the narcissist is on his or her own, he or she will seek out or create a high-stress, high-drama environment for their own chosen family, with themselves as the center of attention, the controller, and/or the main drug or alcohol user, and their spouse and children as codependent servants or slaves. One child may be chosen to be the NPD’s “Mini Me” and grow up to be the next generation of narcissistic abuser.

A person who marries in to such a family will probably have codependent tendencies, or come from a family where there was a narcissist, abuser, or addict. Therefore, being abused by a narcissist will feel familiar and the behavior and relationship dynamics will not be seen as a pathology.

Google searches about “why does s/he do that,” or “Why does s/he treat me that way” may lead a person to learn about narcissism and NPD, but without a mental health diagnosis by a professional, it’s best to just recognize that internet searches to determine if your relationship is healthy or normal may indicate that you aren’t happy with how you are being treated and it’s time to leave the relationship, even if the relationship is with a member of your family of origin.

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