evile

The narcissist may have a favorite supply the way you have a favorite pair of shoes; and as you may know, one pair of shoes may be good for dressing up for a party while another pair of shoes is good for taking a hike in the woods; that’s about as much regard as you’ll get from a narcissist. What do they need in this moment, and who, among their broken toys, is the best to give it to them in this moment?

Of course, you’ll always be compared to others by the NPD, but this is mostly to keep you off-balance and in their control. In the early days, you’re the best one they’ve ever met. Nobody understands them the way you do, nobody has ever made them feel this way. You are so amazing.

It’s hard to be on guard against the kind of praise and appreciation they lavish upon a new target. But eventually that will fade and you’re just like their wretched ex, who always hurt them terribly, who never understood them, who never treated them with the respect they deserved, bla bla bla. And maybe you’ll be treated to a nice game of “Why can’t you be more like—-” your brother or sister, who always treats the NPD the right way, or why can’t you be more like their new source of supply, who is much smarter than you are and understands the NPD’s needs right away?

These comparisons are just a mind game to make you step up your efforts to please the NPD and make yourself a better tool for their use. If you are able to detach enough to see the game in it’s full scope, you will notice that nothing you do is ever good enough, and they will always keep you scrambling to keep providing better and more gifts, attention, etc. for less and less praise and reward.

Move along from this game; they don’t need you and they won’t miss you. There’s always another sucker waiting in the wings to give the NPD exactly what they want and need, for a little while, anyway. And then they’re on to the next one with no more thought or feeling than you’d give to a used tissue or a worn out pair of shoes.

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