1723posted in Austin Poly

[evile]

 

 

 

4 Nov. 1:45 pm

 

 

From: "evilE"
Date: Tue Nov 4, 2003 2:07 pm
Subject: sort of a general thank you & stuff


So...I am getting sterilized tomorrow.

I'd worried & fretted about this in the past because my partner is 4
yrs younger than me and male, so his fertility is on a longer
timeline than mine. I worried because I thought "Oh, what if he
decides he wants a baby later on in life?"

Well, thanks to the wonderful poly folks I've met and talked with, I
realize that my fertility choices don't have to limit his, if he
decides he wants to be a father sometime down the line.

I don't know how I'll deal with not only another woman, but a child
(or children) taking his time, energy, & resources. But at least I
know that it's a possibility and I'm not closing the door on any of
HIS possibilities by making my choice.

So...I'm glad this group exists & glad this lifestyle choice is
there, whether Sweetie decides it's for him or not.

Thanks for letting me share... I feel like a dork now.
==================

got this reply to me alone:

Date: Tue, 04 Nov 2003 14:32:28 -0600
From: "CrystalBell" <crystalbell@adnc.com>
To: eekatfreaksdotnet@yahoo.com
Subject: hi

evilE ..I wanted this b/c .. just to say .. don't ever worry about
not having children .. it's more about YOU ... YOU need to do for you
what's right .. and choosing as you have that is a lot involved ..
Depending on what all you are having .. and your age, don't let this
affect you chemically in your body .. I speak from experience.. I am
now 49 and had to have a radical hysterectomy when I was 24 .. it was
life or death due to cancer .. But I put my mind to it and beat it
with out any of the radiation or kemo .. BUT due to the "loss" of
anything womanly, my body also decided to be 100 yrs old... My dr. <
smart man he was > got me on estrogen 1 mth later .. I still take it
today and you would never know how old I am .. I have been told I
look 30 and act 25 .. Your sweetie will be by your side as long as
YOU take care of YOU and do what you need .. As for sharing him with
others ... ;-) ... Personally it is the best way to have life .. I
prefer a triad over any other relationship and I have been in both ..
Don't forget .. YOU will also be able to share the other woman, as a
friend, confidant, possibly lover .. and the child < ren> will be
yours too .. That is what it is all about .. ;-) ...SO you take care
and be secure in your mind that YOU are the most important person in
YOUR life.. Sierra
==========

Wierd. Jen said something similar, about adopting or fostering, bla
bla, but what I really meant to say is if HE wants a baby, HE can
have one. I don't and I don't want any of the associated baggage,
either.

Oh well, I'm not going to reply to this nice lady who is trying so
hard to be supportive & sweet.

here's how I set Jen straight:
========================
Oh, no, if Sweetie wants babies, it'll be Sweetie's babies
(and the other person's) Not mine. I don't ever want
to be burdened with feeding, clothing, housing,
nurturing and cleaning up after a kid. He's younger
than me and as a male his fertility will be
longer...so if he ever decides he wants kids, it will
be on him and the other person to be the parents. I
don't know how I feel about sharing his time, energy,
and resources with another adult, let alone a
kid...but I won't take that choice away from him and
say "you can never be a father." If he wants to father
children, he can. Just not with me and not in our
house. I guess that's wierd...

One of the Austin polys is going through this right
now--the male of a partnered, living-together couple
has knocked up his girlfriend and now the 3 of them
are looking for a new place, big enough for the
non-mom to have her own space. The 'primary partner'
woman is very childfree. It'll be interesting to see
how/if the relationship survives.