IM with skye 8/4/04

[evile]

2420icq w/A

Aug. 4, 2004

 

 

evile: howdy.
SkyeDS: HUGS how are things???
evile: I'm just workin', playing it by ear.
SkyeDS: this whole week has fuckin sucked
evile: [aunt L] said she was going to call the ICU waiting room when it
is not visiting hours to try & get ahold of [rubber pig] & ask how [brother A] is
doing.
evile: Indeed, this week has sucked mightily. Can we get do-overs?
SkyeDS: [brother A], black truck dropped muffler, dead battery in white
truck, I misspelled, I fucking misspelled, t he ranch name and it's
too late to change it now
SkyeDS: just shoot me now
evile: oh, icks. *hugs*
evile: Sorry to hear about all that.
SkyeDS: it was intended to be Bella Pellegrina.
SkyeDS: spent an entire lifetime correcting other professionals'
spellings SIGH
evile: Yeah...irony is so ironic.
SkyeDS: and I have this evergrowing list of parents who need to be
shot in face with bazooka
evile: *nods*
evile: I imagine I undid whatever good I did with my words to [brother A]
with that one stupid gesture at [rubber pig]. I am so mad at myself.
SkyeDS: probably as bad or worse than I was at CRW
SkyeDS: I went down to the creek with the intention of sleeping in it
and staying there till everyone else left
evile: worse...if only cuz it's family & I actually give a shit what
they think.
SkyeDS: she deserved it, at any rate, at least that much
evile: I could have handled it better. Perhaps something like: "You
don't have to stay here and listen. YOU go!"
SkyeDS: there are worse t hings you could have done.
SkyeDS: if it continues to bug you, apologize to her (how likely is
that)
evile: Oh, absolutely. But what I did is bad enough. Definitely
helped her draw the battle0lines.
evile: I doubt she'd accept an apology. Will probably continue
the 'no eye contact, no speaking' policy since it has been effective
against me thus far.
evile: And, truthfully...though I regret what I did, I am not
actually _sorry_...if that makes any sense.
SkyeDS: you'd be better off putting it out of your mind, eventually,
if you can
evile: yup. She is going to win. [brother A] is going to die. Nothing anyone
can do.
SkyeDS: I don't t hink [dad] & [k/mom] are going to let that happen
evile: I don't think they will be able to prevent it.
SkyeDS: won't be from lack of trying.
evile: I'm vacillating between being 100% honest, since I'm already
the 'bad guy' and nothing I can do to fix it, and trying to get off
the bad guy list.
SkyeDS: I think from personal experience your chances of getting off
the bad guy list are none to none
evile: yup
evile: But by being 100% honest, I might make the family mad at me
for giving [brother A]/[rubber pig] ammo/reasons.
SkyeDS: and they mad get mad at you on that count for something
you've already done anyway
SkyeDS: mad = might
evile: I am pretty sure she would have pulled the 'out out out'
routine no matter what I said. So I am glad I said what I felt needed
to be said.
evile: And if it snapped [brother A] out of his 'mate and die' mayfly
mindset, so much the better.
SkyeDS: so he got saved agian
SkyeDS: this mean no more living and breeding in sin?
evile: [rubber pig] is a 'devout Jewish wife' who is 'obedient to God, [her]
father, and [her] husband, in that order'
evile: so you fucking tell me.
evile: Religion, for most people, seems to be an excuse to do any
goddamned sneaky fucked up thing you wanna do, then run back under
God's apron when someone tries to call you on your shit.
SkyeDS: if God can get him through this good
SkyeDS: but will he play by God's rules when it's said and done?
evile: Here's what I'm seeing next: God-as-interpreted-by [rubber pig]: You
need to die for your sins, [brother A]. Go die.
SkyeDS: although I find it curious that a black widow would be with
him at the hospital if all she wanted was the breeding
evile: What, not go to [brother A]'s bedside and miss out on all that
ATTENTION?@?
SkyeDS: first of all, Kelly says 14 miscarriages and 3 live borns is
most likely bullshit.
evile: What are you thinking.
evile: So does D. she has had 1 and her Dr. was all set to put her on
bed rest after 2.
evile: (has had 1 miscarriage that is) and 1 live kid
evile: Plus, I think [rubber pig] is using her time with [brother A] in the ICU
room to brainwash him further, in his depleted state.
evile: Todl him the nurses make fun of his religioius beliefs behind
his back. Sot hat when the nurses try to make her leave when visiting
time is over, he will be upset and object.
evile: is also trying to railroad him into seeing her father for
counseling, rather than looking to an outside, objective therapist.
SkyeDS: he told [uncle B] no family members
evile: [uncle B] told [brother A] no family members as counselors.
SkyeDS: ah. (sineater transposed that).
SkyeDS: better [uncle B] than [rubber pig]'s dad tho surely
evile: [uncle B] is not counseling. He is just a concerned family member,
like everyone else. But [uncle B]'s better at dealing with this shit, so
he's still on the 'good' list.
SkyeDS: hope G&K have time to see sineater before they head back to MT
evile: me too.
SkyeDS: hope to gawd they get to SA before something else happens
evile: If they don't see him in the hospital, I don't imagine they'll
be allowed in her home.
SkyeDS: what I'm afraid of too.
evile: (even though it's [brother A]'s home too...)
SkyeDS: was hoping they could ensconce him and call the cops on her
SkyeDS: he goes home with her it will be the other way around
evile: *nods*
evile: It would suck bad for them to make that long ass drive for
nothing.
evile: The ICU nurse did seem to think it would take a while for the
team to arrive & do their assessment...so that's a plus.
evile: dammit. If I'd just played yesterday better, I bet I could
have gotten her kicked out of the hospital. damn it
SkyeDS: I don't know how.
SkyeDS: you told them the legal situation and they didn't respond.
SkyeDS: that blows me away :(
evile: Well, who the hell am I? she's been here from day 1, moment 1,
devotedly by his side, using the [sineater lastname] name frequently. I show up
the day after the attempt and say "I'm his sister, t hat's not his
wife"....to the ICU staff it probably looks like "Battle Of The
Pathological Liars"
evile: They were sympathetic, and the ICU receptionist raised an
eyebrow quite tellingly when I said they're not legally married...but
what can they do? I have no ID to prove my relationship to him,
either.
evile: Just got off the phone w/[aunt L]. Mom & [dad] were in Waco around
10:45. Evaluation team has been delayed until tomorrow. yay!

SkyeDS: hot damn.
evile: Never thought I'd be grateful for the slowly grinding wheels
of bureaucrazy.
SkyeDS: well, if they'd known that before he came out of coma, they
might have booted her, was what I was hoping
evile: Nobody was there before that. [aunt L] & [uncle B] showed up when he was
just starting to wake up, was responsive but unable to talk or
breathe.
evile: L&B probably _should_ have said/done something at that point,
but I wasn't there and I don't know.
SkyeDS: that was the only window I think for getting rid of her
evile: yup.
SkyeDS: and then if she could have been kept away so she wasn't there
when he asked for her
SkyeDS: and could have been kept away from him being released
evile: And L&B were more intrested in preserving the peace/ not
upsetting [brother A] than getting rid of her.
SkyeDS: then he could have been ensconced somewhere where they oculd
call the police on her
SkyeDS: I understand about the peace
SkyeDS: why I wanted the window of opportunity to be taken while he
was still down
SkyeDS: just didn't happen that way
SkyeDS: by the time it occurred to me to say anything it was already
too late
evile: *nods* L&B are a little too peace-loving for my tastes...but
if they made an error, it was not malicious.
SkyeDS: oh no. what I wanted was malicious, if you have to apply
that term at all.
evile: but hurt to [rubber pig] is hurt to [brother A] at this point...and nobody
wants to hurt [brother A].
SkyeDS: I hate to sound like Dr. Laura.
SkyeDS: but.
evile: I agree with you 100%..but L&B set the tone for this whole
encounter, which is to be nonconfrontational with [rubber pig] and 100%
loving and supportive of [brother A] & his decisions (whether he is [rubber pig]'s
puppet, echoing her thoughts & desires notwithstanding)
evile: In the interest of showing a united front, I'm following their
lead. If [dad] & Mom want to change the nature of the situation, I'll
stand behind them.
SkyeDS: :(
SkyeDS: I don't know where [k/mom] stands.
SkyeDS: I think [dad] would change the tone, unless he's still guilt
tripping.
evile: *nods* Last I heard, [brother A] was saying it was a number of things
that made him decide to try to die.
evile: [rubber pig] was blaming the phone call with [dad], exclusively..but
had not managed to make [brother A] think that. Yet.
SkyeDS: why get married, breed, and then kill yourself?
evile: because he felt his purpose in life was to impregnate [rubber pig] &
he felt he'd completed it.
SkyeDS: raising the child had no part in it???
evile: Makes no sense to me. But it fits [rubber pig]'s pattern.
evile: Get knocked up by another guy, come back to Trey with the
newest baby.
SkyeDS: so he thinks he's getting married to raise a child/ren for a
lifetime
SkyeDS: finds out he was just stud service
SkyeDS: after having pissed off his entire family over her
SkyeDS: maybe that's enough to want to die
evile: A large part of his 'vows' at his 'wedding' were to the 3
girls, giving them rings & promising to be a good daddy. Why go thru
that?
evile: None of it makes a goddamned lick of sense to me.
SkyeDS: I have what I think is a creative imagination
SkyeDS: I know there are much more creative imaginations than mine
SkyeDS: but if all that was a ruse just to get stud service out of
him and then dump him.
evile: ugh.
SkyeDS: sigh brb
evile: ok

2423Re: icq w/A

 

Aug. 4, 2004

 

SkyeDS: bk
evile: wb. work sucks sometimes, keeps you away from important family
bullshit!
SkyeDS: had to help tote heavy box downstairs.
evile: what fun.
SkyeDS: thank god for thin mint style cookies that have been in the
fridge all morning
SkyeDS: get me thru my day
evile: someone brought mint oreos. I have not been overindulging too
badly today. This stress is unusual in that it's given me a LACK of
appetite.
SkyeDS: mint oreos YUM
SkyeDS: Hugh went off to Public Storage and Lunch without his cell
phone. Wife not happy with him, lol.
evile: oh boy.
evile: I really hope the poo stays away from teh fan long enough for
me to have a nice evening at CM with teh polys
SkyeDS: nods
evile: I haven't been perfect, but I do think I deserve at least that.
evile: And I need to make a mega grocery run. esp. if I'm going to
have house guests this weekend...don't know where Mom & [dad] are
planning on staying, but might as well be prepared.
SkyeDS: nods
SkyeDS: we all deserve better than we've been dealt here
evile: *sigh*
evile: I don't want to be a whiney mess at poly dinner, though. I
attempted to go to a party Saturday, to get over the family wierdness
& was mostly a whiney mess there. I hate that.
SkyeDS: (hugs)
evile: The host was excruciatingly kind to me. It made me feel even
worse.
evile: He is a) gorgeous [think American David Bowie] and b)
brilliant. Made me feel like a roach
SkyeDS: nice choice of comforter however
evile: I do not respond well to comfort/kindness/mercy. It just makes
me feel worse.
SkyeDS: wonder if that's where "kill them with kindess" originates.
evile: probably
evile: You've got a house (upstairs, downstairs, backyard) full of
people and yet you keep seeming to search me out and ask how I'm
enjoying the party & when I'm going to come swim or jump in the hot
tub (despite the fact I've mentioned I didn't bring a suit several
times)...just made me nervous.
SkyeDS: Sharjinka's party?
evile: He was either making fun of me or hitting on me.
evile: No. I was not invited to  Jinx's party.
SkyeDS: she invited all of Drandmir (as usual)
evile: As far as I know, anyway. She did not post about it anywhere I
read about it.
evile: I unsubbed from Drandmir yahoo group.
SkyeDS: was on drandmir yahoo
SkyeDS: OH
SkyeDS: lol did not know that
evile: Did not feel welcome there anymore, I don't ever go out to the
park..so why bother.
SkyeDS: I left Barad Duin to avoid Kim and now she's about to move to
Drandmir sigh
SkyeDS: well I was there first so she can deal
evile: yup
evile: I wish I'd known about Sharjinka's party. Would have had more
fun if I'd known more people.
SkyeDS: think hers was friday
SkyeDS: we couldn't go
evile: better & better, I could have gone to both. Oh well. past &
gone.
SkyeDS: Jinx has parties all the time
evile: I guess I don't get invited to them. Last one I knew about was
the one I attended with ya'll.
SkyeDS: no way for you to know if you're not on list anymore
evile: I haven't been unsubbed that long. I guess I just missed
stuff. oh well. sucks to be me.
evile: I might just go home & to bed. Even though I need groceries &
to clean house...
SkyeDS: pamper yourself, regardless of whatever else you do. you
need it.
evile: I didn't sleep well last night at all,so I probably ought to
try to get to bed early at the very least
evile: [sister H]'s been with her dad all week. They both went to the
hospital Monday. I haven't talked to her since Monday evening. I hope
she's OK & salvaging a decent visit with her dad out of this week.
SkyeDS: :-/
evile: It was pretty decent of {h's dad} to hear the news and immediately
take her to the hospital. Sometimes even the slugs of this world can
surprise you with a human gesture....
SkyeDS: sineater is confused about {h's dad}'s love life
SkyeDS: whether or not he is married to new woman
SkyeDS: and are they in Austin or SA?
evile: None of sineater's business, now, is it?
evile: {h's dad} is living and working in Austin.
SkyeDS: with her being austin poly and all
SkyeDS: /me shrugs, I have no interest at all
evile: {h's dad}'s ex wife is in austin poly
SkyeDS: but he looks to me for explanation and I don't have one to
give him
evile: {h's dad}'s ex-wife is in Austin poly. Gary is not.
evile: {h's dad} has a girlfriend. She is a belly dancer, but not
professionally. And that's all I know about that.
SkyeDS: oh exwife.
SkyeDS: different people
evile: yes, ex, very important little prefix.
SkyeDS: very.
SkyeDS: I think his confusion was multiplied when [sister H] said they
were spending time together in Austin
evile: *shrug* H &/or {h's dad} did not share their plans with me.
{h's dad} and Mary K (ex wife, poly group joiner) may still be friends. I
dont know.
evile: ew. Just thought of this...what if Mary K and that odious brat
of hers show up tonight. ick...
SkyeDS: don't know what the poss. of that is.
evile: No tellin. Luckily it's a big enough group that I would
hopefully be able to avoid talking with her, mostly
evile: Usually at 1st wednesday, I don't even get to say hi to the
people I *want* to talk with. So, hopefully...no Mary K.
SkyeDS: nods
evile: Just did some online shopping. I feel much better :)
SkyeDS: shopping = good therapy :) so is chocolate.
evile: yup
evile: enough to enjoy, but not so much to break the bank & make me
sad later.
evile: well, time to throw paper & run away.
SkyeDS: hugs, be well
evile: I have my cell phone with me, so let me know if y'all hear
anything new about [brother A], or whatever.
evile: *hugs*