Quora: How does a narcissist respond to the death of a perceived rival?

 

I haven’t observed this directly but as the target of a narcissist in-law, I know from experience that the narcissist takes satisfaction when they hear that something bad has happened to me.

The narcissist who I’ve been dealing with (not ‘my’ narcissist—thank you to the person who pointed out that’s a poor choice of words—not my circus, not my monkeys!) But, anyway the Narc who has targeted me in the past likes to believe that they have supernatural powers due to being a self-appointed high muckety-muck clergy of a pagan faith.

When bad things have happened to me in the past, they like to claim that they brought those negative situations to me using their ‘powers’. They take credit for my bad luck, injuries, etc. and brag about it to their flying monkeys, many of whom seem to believe this outrageous nonsense. They take my unrelated misfortunes as some sort of proof that they are superior to me and that the are in some way ‘winning.’

So, judging by that, I’d say that if I manage to pass before that particular Narc, they will probably boast and brag about doing some black magic booga-booga curse on me that made me die, and take credit for my death. While, of course, simultaneously showing up with their little grabby hands out to see if I left anything for them in my will—and actually expecting that I would. Nuts!

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Quora: We see a lot of questions about how narcissists are difficult in therapy,

We see a lot of questions about how narcissists are difficult in therapy, but what are the challenging aspects of doing therapy with a client who is codependent, or who claims to be an "empath," or says they are a victim of narc abuse?

 


I’m pretty codependent.

In therapy, I have a tendency for my first session to be completely truthful and raw…and then once I’ve unburdened, I realize I’ve probably thrown up too much emotional gunk on the therapist. So then I back off, minimize my feelings and problems, care-take the therapist’s feelings, and by the 3rd or 4th session, convinced the therapist that they’ve cured me… while shoving all my own garbage deep down back into the place it came from.

It’s pretty sick! LOL. So I haven’t found therapy to be super helpful most of the times I’ve tried it. My last one was better, because I kept it specific to the current problem at hand and didn’t try to just throw all my trauma on them to try and fix a lifetime of BS in a few hours.

I feel that, much like going to a Dr. for a physical problem, you have to spend more time working on your own health outside the doctor’s office and only go to the Dr. when you have a specific pain to deal with. Or at least that has been what has been successful for me.

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Editing to add:  Posts tagged 'quora' were originally my answers to peoples' questions on quora.com.  They were monetized but I am giving them away for free here. 

If you feel inclined to support my writing, here's my paypal 

And if you prefer to pay it forward, I recommend Safe Place as an excellent place to support.