Domestic violence against men: Know the signs

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/domestic-violence-against-men/MY00557

You might be experiencing domestic violence if your partner:

* Calls you names, insults you or puts you down
* Prevents you from going to work or school
* Stops you from seeing family members or friends
* Tries to control how you spend money, where you go or what you wear
* Acts jealous or possessive or constantly accuses you of being unfaithful
* Gets angry when drinking alcohol or using drugs
* Threatens you with violence or a weapon
* Hits, kicks, shoves, slaps, chokes or otherwise hurts you, your children or your pets
* Assaults you while you're sleeping, you've been drinking or you're not paying attention to make up for a difference in strength
* Forces you to have sex or engage in sexual acts against your will
* Blames you for his or her violent behavior or tells you that you deserve it
* Portrays the violence as mutual and consensual

Today's Gift:

Today's thought from Hazelden is:

You have three choices: keep on fighting, ignore each other, or make up and be friends.
--John Knoblauch

Once there were four sixth-graders - two boys and two girls - who started to fight even though they'd been friends for years. One morning at the bus stop, the boys started playing keep-away with the girls' shoes and wouldn't give them back. One of the mothers called the school.

Later that day, the counselor called them in and asked them what the fight was all about. They said they didn't really know.

"Well," said the counselor, "it doesn't really matter why you started fighting. Right now, you've got three choices: keep on fighting, ignore each other, or make up."

The group chose to ignore each other after discussing it among themselves. They were happy to be able to stop fighting. About the time of winter vacation, they decided to be friends again.

What conflicts can I resolve by letting them be?

You are reading from the book:

Today's Gift by Anonymous

Today's Gift © 1985, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. No portion of this publication may be reproduced in any manner without the permission of Hazelden.

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Personally, I hate being ignored. I'd rather take a beating than have someone treat me like I don't exist. Which is why I often continue conversations, arguments, and unpleasant relationships for much much longer than I should.

Of course, I don't like fighting, but I like fighting better than I like being ignored. At least fighting with me, you're acknowledging that I exist. There's still a chance of being heard and understood. (And some dumb part of me still sees a lot of things in term of win/lose, even though I know that's not right. But that dumb part of me REALLY wants to win.) Ignoring is just...the end. Everyone "loses"

I guess some other dumb part of me wants everything to eventually end in "make up"....but that isn't really the case. I need to work harder on being OK with ignoring and being ignored. (Blocking and being blocked, in the case of FB.) *sigh* AFOG!