Battered Women, Their Animal Companions,

from:

Battered Women, Their Animal Companions, and Their Beliefs about

the Control They Have Over Protecting Them

http://home.earthlink.net/~dogandponyshow/wpaper4.html

========
There is a growing awareness among researchers and service providers in the area of domestic violence of the link between violence towards humans and abuse of the family pet. Additionally, a growing body of research has indicated a link between victims' concern for the safety of their companion animals and their subsequent decision to delay leaving the abusive environment rather than escaping and risk leaving their pets behind with the abuser.

The majority of people who live with companion animals report that their pets are members of the family (DeGroot, 1984; Friedmann, Katcher, Eaton, & Berger, 1984; Hirschman, 1994; Ory & Goldberg, 1984). In many cases this may result in healthy and positive experiences for everyone involved. But what if the pet is a member of a family plagued by violence and abuse? Unfortunately, oftentimes the animal companion of victims of domestic violence are also at risk of being abused and even killed (Ascione, 1997, 1998; Brown, 1987; Flynn, 2000).

It should not be surprising then, that many battered women delay seeking help and escaping the abusive environment out of concern for their companion animals (Ascione, 1998; Dutton, 1992; Flynn, 2000).

More specifically, the present study tested the hypothesis that battered women would postpone seeking help and escaping the deleterious home environment due in part, to low perceived control over their ability to protect their companion animals from abuse and harm once they did leave. In summary, the present study examined the personal control beliefs of battered women against the following hypotheses: (1) battered women tend to have internal beliefs about their ability to control the level of violence directed towards themselves and their companion animals while residing in the violent home environment, and (2) battered women tend to have external beliefs (or low levels) of personal control with regard to their ability to successfully leave the batterer and to prevent their companion animals from being harmed once they have escaped.

One of the first comprehensive studies examining the link between family violence and pet abuse surveyed victims residing in a Utah shelter for battered women (Ascione, 1998). In this study more than 70% of the victims with companion animals reported that their pets had been threatened, abused or killed by a male partner. An equally distressing finding was that 20% of these women stated they had delayed seeking help and leaving the batterer due to concerns for the safety of their companion animals.

It is possible that female victims of domestic abuse have experienced significant reinforcement in their efforts to run interference and protect their companion animals from abuse. Over time these women may come to believe that it is they themselves who are in control of assuring their pets' safety.

Despite these methodological limitations, there are several implications derived from the results of this study. To begin with, the animals in violent homes appear to be at risk in the same way their fellow human family members are. This link between human and non-human violence raises two important issues: (1) law enforcement and service providers who have been alerted to abuse of animals in the home would do well to investigate the possibility of violence directed towards humans within those households, and vice-versa, and (2) given the on-going threat for abuse and/or death to family pets in violent families, what is in the best interest of these animals? While the animal companions may be an important source of emotional support for fellow human victims in the household, it brings into question the rationale of allowing family pets to be at risk for violence and abuse in order to provide emotional support for the other family members also enduring the abuse. As the family pet has no choice or option to escape the violence, it calls into question the culpability of "outsiders" aware of the abusive environment who do have a choice about ensuring that the pets do not have to endure the trauma and abuse in such scenarios.

And finally, an important aspect of the present study is that it contributes to a growing awareness of the role companion animals may play in victims' decision to remain in the pernicious conditions of on-going violence. Only by coming to understand the perceptions, attitudes and beliefs of the victims can we begin to effectively address the problems of violence directed towards both battered women and their companion animals.

2867bad dreams

Jan. 28, 2005

 

 

end of world? rockets with red neon trails, making a pattern in the
air, helicopters flying low to ground, open doors.

Talking on cell phone w/Mom and/or Sister H.

bad feeling

2871icq w/ thewordnerd

Jan. 28, 2005

 

 

thewordnerd: I found out who the creepy dude at Dog & Duck was last Sunday!
evile: oh?
thewordnerd: He recognized me from a comment I left in Elise's journal.
evile: bizarre!
thewordnerd: Elise, Moonwick and another mutual friend share a house with
him, and they have taco nights every few weeks. I went to one last
summer, and he saw me there.
evile: oh wow. pretty good memory for faces, but not places I guess :)
thewordnerd: So he's one of their roommates . . . though I have no idea
where the #37 thing came from. Maybe all blind people look a bit
alike, like dogs of the same breed or something. *shrug* :P
evile: hm. No clue. That was pretty random.
thewordnerd: Heh. He just randomly emailed me last night. I was like oh,
ok, glad you figured it out.
evile: hee. Do you think he's hitting on you?
thewordnerd: LOL I hope not.
thewordnerd: Probably just wanting to say hi, as I suppose we're part of
the same extended geek contingent . . . at least, I hope that's the
case. :P
evile: I hope so, too.
thewordnerd: Who is rainking1, BTW?
evile: Ladydreamtime's husband 
thewordnerd: Ah, ok, thought so. He appeared on my friend of list, and I
read back a bit, but wasn't *entirely* sure. Since you seem to know
everyone's LJ name I figured you'd know.
evile: not everyone, just more than you. (trade secret, there, btw.
Just know a tiny bit more than everyone else, and they'll assume you
know everything)
thewordnerd: Aha!
evile: shh! don't tell!
thewordnerd: I'll try not to. It's just one of those secrets that's hard
not to share, though.
evile: now, don't make me come kill you.
thewordnerd: LOL I knew there'd be a threat, I just wondered where on the
spank...kill spectrum it'd fall.
evile: Somehow I don't think you're taking me seriously... :P
thewordnerd: Gee, what ever gave you that impression? ;)
evile: Maybe I need to come up with better threats...perhaps a good
pantsing at the next GWNN party will learn ya.
thewordnerd: LOL
evile: I send my friend J-Law email about last night and Chance's
godawful behavior. Here is part of her response: "Sounds like those
big titties will be in her shoes by the time she hits 30. Excellent"
thewordnerd: LOL!
evile: I just love my friend J-Law :)
thewordnerd: I did a little livejournal sloothing of my own and found her
journal. She's actually a few months older than me. Gah, it's people
like her that give us early twentysomethings a bad name.
thewordnerd: Ah, so that's THE J-Law. Gotcha :)
evile: Youth is wasted on the young, as they say.
thewordnerd: Heh, indeed.
evile: I think Chance could stand a lesson or two in subtlety.
evile: Things can be a lot sexier, funnier, and more interesting when
they're implied rather than flat-out stated.
thewordnerd: Heh, indeed.
thewordnerd: Again, agreed. :) Were the waitstaff really looking on in
horror? That's just so funny in an 'I'm glad I wasn't the cause of
that' way. :)
evile: there were definitely some looks, but since she had her back
to them, she didn't see. And I am sure onyxlynxx and I looked a bit put-
off at times, so I guess even if she does see, she doesn't
necessarily pick up on the social cue
evile: hence my explanation to savanni, trying to distinguish
between "freaking out" due to the subject matter and "rolling my eyes
in disgust" at the mental picture evoked by Chance going just a TAD
bit too far with the joke.
thewordnerd: Ah. Yuck, poor her. She probably attracts her share of
unsafe/insane freaks because of her inability to grasp the obvious.
Which, I'm sure, doesn't help her at all.
evile: You are very sympathetic and sweet to think of it in those
terms.
thewordnerd: Well, I try. It'd be more difficult if she seemed like a
disaster or trainwreck waiting to happen, but she seems like she has
it mostly together, at least, from the brief glimpse I had of
her . . . unlike Rifka, who was, like, the chehohua(SP?) of Craziness
in the first few minutes (or, at least, that was *my* impression.)
evile: *LOL!!!*
evile: Chihuahua of Craziness. I love that. Love it love it!
thewordnerd: I just wanted to be like 'Down! Back! Don't pee on the carpet
while you're at it!'
evile: *snort*
evile: but, but, I want you to LIKE me, and how can you like me if I
don't tell you EVERYTHING about myself in the first 5 minutes of our
first meeting!?
thewordnerd: Down! Back!
thewordnerd: :P
evile: yip yip bisexual yip bipolar yip yip childbirth stories yip
yip swinger parties yarf yarf yip!
thewordnerd: LOL Don't forget about childbirth stories!
thewordnerd: Or, oopse, were you *trying* to?
evile: shudder. good lord. I could happily live my whole life without
ever having learned where babies come from.
thewordnerd: LOL
evile: I don't want to picture Rifka like that...at all, ever.
thewordnerd: Yeah, me neither. Ugh.
thewordnerd: That's just terrifying. Wish I could wash my brain out with
soap now.
evile: drill the hole, pour the bleach
thewordnerd: Except I only have a corkscrew, and the only bleach I have is
watered. If I'm going to do it then I don't want to be half-assed
about it.
evile: *laff*
thewordnerd: K, I can't wash my brain out with soap, but I *can* wash my
mouth out with chocolate milk, and that connects to the brain
eventually, so it'll have to do.
evile: sounds like a plan.
evile: I'm sad that the weather is going to be sucky all weekend, I
wanted to do another hike & picnic
thewordnerd: Yeah, that would've been lots of fun.
thewordnerd: I'm trying to think of something fun and indoorsy to do, not
sure if you saw my latest post. I really feel like hosting something
here; it's been awhile since I've held a gathering.
evile: Maybe a movie night or something?
thewordnerd: Yeah, that's one item on the list. Hoping that others will
express interest in that.
evile: I'm not a big gamer, other than short quick easy games, like
Spades. I run out of patience for stuff like Monopoly and scrabble
and all of that.
thewordnerd: Yeah, I can understand that. I like some longer games, though
only if there's some strategy involved. Monopoly doesn't do it for me.
evile: nope.
evile: ladydreamtime was supposedly throwing a party Saturday night, but she
mentioned it and then never followed up so maybe not.
thewordnerd: Ah. Hmmmm.
thewordnerd: Hmm, Niki and I were talking about that Chinese New Year
party. We should probably start planning that if we're still hoping
to pull it off in a couple weeks.
evile: yup.
evile: Oh great! Now Skye_ds wants to show up at the next munch in her
halloween witch hat.
thewordnerd: Who is Skye_ds? Seems like I should know the name, but I don't.
evile: My sister in law.
evile: "skye_ds" on LiveJournal.
thewordnerd: Oh! *slaps forehead*
evile: I guess I dont' mention her by name that often. Summoning
demons requires their names..and I just don't want to do that.
thewordnerd: Gah, I have enough issues with *one* name, adding another into
the mix just confuses things. :) For some reason I was thinking her
real name was Skye as well, even though I should know otherwise. :P
thewordnerd: Hah!
evile: She says her real name is Skye, but it isn't.
thewordnerd: Ah.
thewordnerd: Hmmm, I'll be interested to see how the next munch goes. :)
evile: I don't know if it's true or not, but she says that when you
divorce, you get a 'free' name change, so when she divorces Sineater she
is changing her legal name to Skye Dreamsinger. (speed the day)
thewordnerd: Wow, you're kidding, she actually talks like that?
evile: talks like what?
evile: she actually hasn't mentioned divorcing Sineater for years now, so
I think that ship has sailed.
thewordnerd: Just talks about divorcing him like that. Ok, I was thinking
that she just dropped it into conversation, like it was just another
item on the todo list.
evile: I can't remember how or why it came up, but yeah, it was kind
of like a 'when it happens' thing. But I think she finally realized
that she's not going to get another gravy train as good as that one.
thewordnerd: Yuck. :( That's horrible.
evile: I've advised them both, in separate conversations, to divorce,
but it's not gonna happen.
thewordnerd: Hmmm. Yeah, I can see why that would be the case.
evile: oh well. I care, but their life is not my life, and my life is
good whether they divorce or not.
thewordnerd: Right. That's all you can do, really.
evile: yup.
evile: Anyway, there was all kinds o hoo-ha at the last girls night
because some of us are apparently too negative. So....next topic!
thewordnerd: Bah. Doesn't phase *me* at all. After all, you *are* talking
to the person who'd be much happier if only he complained half as
much, or something. :P
evile: *lol* I think that could just as easily be said of the person
offering said advice.
thewordnerd: Heh.
thewordnerd: I sort of wish I can figure out where I stand with her. We
haven't talked about that at all outside of her one LJ comment, and
it makes me feel awkward around her, wondering if I can't share some
things, etc.
evile: if it makes you feel any better, a similar smackdown was laid
on her by another person...so karma has been repaid.
thewordnerd: And I don't like feeling that way, because I do like and
respect her.
thewordnerd: It isn't so much that I want karma repaid, I just want to know
what's up.
thewordnerd: Like, if I can't share things about myself with her then I'd
just like to know that before I open my mouth one day and do it. :)
evile: the only way to know is to ask her.
thewordnerd: Who smacked her down, out of curiosity? I saw Kit's response
to my comment, which on one hand I appreciated, but . . . I don't
like smacking down my friends, because I genuinely believe that most
occasional mistakes are just that, they aren't intentional evil or
anything.
thewordnerd: Yeah, I suppose.
evile: yeah.
evile: I guess Niki sees some of herself in you, which is why she
came across as being impatient with your complaints.
evile: Where she sees herself as bitching for a few days and then
doing soemthing to fix the problem, maybe she sees you as just
bitching and then not doing anything to fix things.
thewordnerd: I guess I'll just see how things go. I also feel like I said
all that I had to say in my response, and there isn't anything unsaid
on my end, so now I'm waiting for her to say whatever she feels she
may want/need to. Can't decide if that's an adult or childish thing
to do.
thewordnerd: Interesting.
evile: It wouldn't hurt to call and say "hey, I'm having people over
X day at Y time, come on over" and then if there's anything that she
wants to say, maybe she'll say it at that time.
thewordnerd: That's a good idea.
evile: Chances are, she's forgotten all about that comment, and she
will be freaked that you took it so much to heart. I don't think she
realizes how heavy words on a screen can be.
thewordnerd: I think I've just had too many past experiences of being the
friend who tries to keep things going, tries to smooth out the
wrinkles, and the other friend just sits back and waits for things to
happen. It probably isn't that way now, but that's just one of my
triggers. I do what I can, say all that I have to say, then count on
the other person to tell me whether I'm overstepping a boundary,
asking too much of them, etc. before simply deciding that nothing can
be done about it, other than wandering away or backing off. I really
*am* willing to work with people, they just have to tell me what's
bothering them about me first. :)
evile: yup
evile: J-Law says if I try to tell Chance she'd get better attention if
she didn't act out, Chance will just assume I'm jealous.
thewordnerd: Hmmm. That's sad. It'd probably be difficult to help *anyone*
out like that unless you're friends with them (no idea how close you
two are, so I'm assuming occasional dinner encounters.)
evile: basically, yeah. I've met her maybe 3 or 4 times at poly
dinner and other people's parties. She was at Erin and tangentsferret's while
you were over at Paces this past weekend, I think.
thewordnerd: Ah. Hmm, seems I missed the more popular side. Things were
fairly dead at Pace's
evile: yup
evile: I went back & forth a couple times. Pace's would have been
good to sit and visit with someone for a more in depth type
conversation, but there was never anyone in Pace's place that I
wanted to really converse with at length
thewordnerd: Yeah, agreed. The people I didn't know seemed to know everyone
else, and those I did just weren't the type I'd want to chat with, or
they were doing other things that would prevent chatting.
evile: that stupid game.
thewordnerd: LOL
thewordnerd: Sam seemed *very* into it (that was her, right?)
evile: yeah.
evile: she's an odd one.
thewordnerd: Yeah, I got that impression. :) The last time I'd met her was
at Pace's party last August.
evile: yup. She and throm don't come to much poly stuff.
thewordnerd: Hmmm, so she hasn't been going, it isn't that I haven't been
running into her?
evile: she hasn't been going.
thewordnerd: Hmmm. Do they do the GWNN thing very often? Sounded like they
were into that as well.
evile: I've never seen them at a GWNN munch or play party.
thewordnerd: Ah.
evile: But I did run into throm at a Voyagers party once.
thewordnerd: So the Voyager parties are the ones after the GWNN munches?
And they're hosted in people's houses?
evile: no.
thewordnerd: Oh.
evile: Voyagers is a _totally different_ group than GWNN. There are
crossover people, the same as there are poly austin folk who are GWNN
members, but not all are
thewordnerd: Oh, ok, so the parties after GWNN munches *are* just private
parties, then? I thought that was the case, but a couple people
mentioned having seen me at the Voyagers party at the GWNN thing, so
I was confused. Looks like *they* were the confused ones, however.
evile: yup
evile: Voyager meeting and party is the first saturday of each month.
evile: Gwnn munch is the 2nd saturday, and on non-party months,
someone hosts an after-munch party at their home.
thewordnerd: Ah. And they only have a yahoo group, right? No website?
evile: gwnn party is the 3rd saturday of every other month, at
the 'secret rural location'
evile: Voyagers only has a yahoo group
evile: (as far as I know)
thewordnerd: Ah. So what exactly *is* the secret location? Is it a place
GWNN rents out, or their own place?
evile: it's a place GWNN rents out, basically a meeting hall
thewordnerd: Ah.
evile: and the board folk bring in all the furniture the day of the
party and pack it up after the party. I believe it's stored at the
house that you and Niki and I went to
thewordnerd: Oh, wow, so they do lots of work packing all that stuff about
after the event. Crazy.
evile: yup
evile: well, time for me to get gone.
thewordnerd: Whee. Bye!
evile: I'll check LJ if you get a plan together for Sat.
Ok, sounds good. :)
I'll let you know if anything happens.

2872icq w/A

Jan. 28, 2005

 

 

evile: hey :) Happy Friday
SkyeDS: TGIF :)
evile: Looks like it's gonna be crappy weather this weekend. :(
SkyeDS: nods
evile: One of the reasons I'm not all that crazed to go to Galveston,
even though it would be great to see Rengeek again.
SkyeDS: there will be other opportunities in future, hopefully
evile: yeah, Otter Chaos Feb. 5, actually.
SkyeDS: was a downer not to make it to the Valley. should give
thought to rescheduling that (although without there being an SCA
event there, don't know where to put the horses overnight)
evile: yeah....
SkyeDS: hehe too funny. Maybe we ought to make effort to be at the
next munch.
evile: *shrug* It's the same night as Gothfest, so I probably will be
at Gothfest.
evile: I guess maybe the website needs to be more clear about what
the munch is versus what a party is.
SkyeDS: I haven't visited the website in a long while, I don't know.
It might make a difference and it might not.
evile: & for the life of me, I can't figure out where the guy
got 'satanic' from.
SkyeDS: he says he translated Satanic from "Evil"
evile: I'm just trying to think where there's even mention of 'evil'
on the GWNN site...
SkyeDS: I know it's the low ground and not the high ground but
fucking with those people is so entertaining
evile: fucking with them in what way?
SkyeDS: anyway that involves brainscarring or brainlacerations
evile: I just posted the info as I found it and am leaving it at
that. Apparently the board has been alerted that there may be fundies
at the next munch, searching for satan.
SkyeDS: Sineater bought me this traditional witches' hat, except the cone
is purple satin covered with black spiderweb lace and the brim is
black spiderweb lace
SkyeDS: that would be entertaining to wear to a munch with other
appropriate attire
evile: cool.
SkyeDS: up till now I have refused to wear said hat
evile: well, assuming there were witch-hunting Xtians to fuck with,
such a hat would be fine. the regular GWNN people would probably
go "who's the fruitcake in the hat?"
SkyeDS: anyone throwing around "satanic" is on a witch hunt
SkyeDS: because don't you know, all bdsmers are poly and pagan and
necrophiles and beastophiles and pedophiles and and and
evile: but whether htey have the courage in their convictions to
actually show up to a munch, is another question
SkyeDS: courage goes up the larger a group gets (and iq goes down in
direct proportion)
evile: if you wore your hat to a party, you probably wouldn't get a
second look (party location is not public, so there wouldn't be a
bunch of Xtian protestors there)
SkyeDS: lol I'd rather give the hat to someone else to wear, and hide
and watch
SkyeDS: I haven't worn this hat for a reason
evile: ladytigress  wore the most scrumptious Vampire
get-up to the last play party...custom fangs, gloves, metal talon
jewelry, red and black wig, gorgeous dragon dress from Pyramid
Collection with a tulle petticoat & high boots....yum yum
SkyeDS: if they do attend a munch and find children there I suspect
the excrement will hit the fan
evile: A munch is nothing more than people more-or-less normally
attired, getting together to eat and visit. The conversation may be a
little odd, but that's why we get the meeting room and close the door.
SkyeDS: sheeple don't like it when wolves don't fit the mold, you see
SkyeDS: M's first family counselor was quite surprised when he met me
SkyeDS: whatever he was expecting out of a polyamorous witch, it
wasn't a well dressed, well spoken, reasonable and mature professional
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: the only thing he could find to take issue with is that when
the physical scuffling was going on, t hat I didn't call the police
rather than going over there myself
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: I told him, well, you have your professional opinion, and I
have mine, as well as my personal opinion
SkyeDS: call the Williamson County Sheriff's department and expect
help in a domestic violence situation? No, I don't think so.
SkyeDS: and ANY friend of mine who says I am in need of you coming to
get me knows that that's exactly what they'll get
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: I worked for the Battered Women's Shelter for too damn long
to expect police to be of any help, much less Williamson County
evile: sad.
SkyeDS: you'd be amazed how many cops think that husbands can't rape
or assault wives.
SkyeDS: to this day.
evile: yup. And when my friend Stephanie was battered by her lesbian
housemate, the cops were really not much help at all.
SkyeDS: of course not
SkyeDS: she got what she deserved, and women beating other women is a
moneymaking sport, not a crime
evile: it was also not helpful that Stephanie is deaf. She reads lips
and speaks excellently, but there is still alot you can miss out on
by not being able to hear.
SkyeDS: Terri says the same happens to her when she isn't making a
show out of being disabled
SkyeDS: people completely blow it off
evile: *nod*
evile: I probably should not have mentioned ladytigress' mode of dress or
presence at the last party....we are not supposed to talk about GWNN
parties...my bad.
SkyeDS: <shrugs> I wouldn't worry about it. It won't go any further
evile: Ok
evile: I knew that, but still..
evile: Done with my quota for today *sigh*
SkyeDS: with an hour twenty to go
evile: yup
evile: I guess I can help Sharjinka move on Saturday, if nothing else
happens between now and then.
SkyeDS: would but still working on trailer :(
evile: *nod*
evile: at least the forecast for Saturday is 'partly cloudy' and not
solid 'rain' like Sunday is.
SkyeDS: feel like my head is full of cotton
evile: I think the allergy forecast is bad for today.
SkyeDS: been draining down my throat for days now :(
evile: yup. I got some excellent ginger chicken last night at Twin
Lion, had leftovers for lunch--good stuff, cleared me out pretty well
for a while.
SkyeDS: yum
evile: fresh ginger, and lots of it. The hot & sour soup wasn't as
spicy as I like, but it was still pretty good.
evile: was entertaining to watch Terri and Chance "out picky" each
other.
SkyeDS: hehe
evile: Chance is such a beautiful girl..someone needs to tell her
that she doesn't need to be loud or pouty to get attention
evile: Unfo, I don't know her well enough to feel comfortable telling
her that, and because of aforementioned loud, bratty behavior, I
don't WANT to get to know her well enough to feel comfortable
offering her that advice...
SkyeDS: guess you could find someone who does know her that well
evile: yeah, but then you get into all that tiresome 'he said she
said' bullshit., with troublemakers running back and forth, tattling
and stirring up shit. I can just see it: "Hey, Chance, evilE says
you're obnoxious!"
SkyeDS: you could try reverse psych
evile: Even well-intentioned go-betweens can get caught up in
misusing words, misinterpreting things, etc. and blowing things up.
SkyeDS: compliment her on NOT being loud and pouty like so many
others in (whatever) group
evile: hmm
SkyeDS: most of the time when someone gets a compliment on something
it sticks in their heads
SkyeDS: and then they pride themselves on it and pay closer attention
evile: yup
SkyeDS: <grins, ducks> you could say, I'm so glad you aren't loud and
pouty like some people and look right at the Diva (I know she's out
of town atm)
evile: Diva got her a man and hasn't been back to a poly event since.
evile: None of the ppl on Kaleon's LJ friend list are anyone who is a
regular at poly dinners.
SkyeDS: not Kaleon's list
SkyeDS: the lists of Kaleon's friends from Mojo's
SkyeDS: (Carol's friends)
evile: I don't know who carol is or who the mojo people are.
SkyeDS: Carol is his new love
SkyeDS: for whom he is going to come back to Austin
evile: she's not a regular at poly dinner, either.
SkyeDS: I've figured out why I still read his LJ. It usually happens
when I'm bored, taking a break from something tedious, and playing
around with the new decks on llewellyn.com
SkyeDS: kind of like watching soaps because there isn't anything more
entertaining on tv
evile: *nod* I still want to know which one is Carol.
SkyeDS: hellkitty
evile: gads, her journal reads like she's, like, 12.
SkyeDS: and one of hellkitty's friends is friends with a great deal
of t he polys, including the Diva
evile: one more time, with feeling: The Diva is NOT a regular of our
group. She snagged herself a penis with legs and disappeared back
into the night.
SkyeDS: lol ok
evile: I love oracle_tx dearly, but he has little to no discernment where
willing pussy is concerned.
SkyeDS: would that be { }?
evile: *shrug* I have no idea.
SkyeDS: aka Thomas the Rhymer?
evile: no.
SkyeDS: k
SkyeDS: it has always been interesting to me to follow friends lists
out because it never takes very long before the lists all look the
same
SkyeDS: yours, Sineater's, and Christopher Alex's for example (siodhe)
evile: heh.
SkyeDS: going back of course to how small and concentric the weirdo
circles around here are.
evile: Sweetie says about the same of the gearhead & IT folk
SkyeDS: Austin is very small for a city its size
evile: as far as I know, I don't know siodhe. But I was amused to see
that the nYE party Rengeek went to was the same as the last after-
munch party location :)
evile: J-Law says if I try to tell Chance she'd get better attention if
she didn't act out, Chance will just assume I'm jealous.
evile: No, just mortified that she had every patron and waitstaff in
the restaurant STARING at our table while she regaled us with the
GWNN basher outcry at the top of her voice.
SkyeDS: nods
evile: and she was sitting right next to Terri, so she didn't really
need to discuss it at length, since bdsm is a trigger for Terri.
SkyeDS: she know that?
evile: Supposedly she and Terri have known each other for some time.
Terri was very cool about it, I think it helped that she had savanni,
Sam & Martha to talk with.
SkyeDS: :|
evile: Savanni is a doll :)
SkyeDS: yes
evile: (not your sonar0m, but he's OK too)
SkyeDS: lol I knew who you meant :P
evile: I figured. ;P
SkyeDS: although I haven't met the third of that triad
evile: Kat? She's not terribly social.
evile: I figured it was just becuase she hates everyone. Terri says
she's just really shy.
SkyeDS: I can see where the group could be considered a little
overwhelming
evile: She has a booth at Excalibur, and Tablerock, so that's when I
usually see her and say 'hi'/'bye'
SkyeDS: I need to check into tablerock this year
evile: Nice space, was ungodly hot the year I went.
evile: I went to Hippie Hollow with just savanni and Kat, and she was
still very quiet and standoffish, so that's what made me assume she
just didn't like me very much and was possibly pissed off that savanni
had invitedo me (or maybe I invited myself?--sometimes I'm rude like
that.)
evile: I really really try to assume that people hate me and don't
want me around unless they actually say otherwise in no uncertain
terms, but sometimes I get excited because I like THEM so much, and
go where I'm not wanted.
SkyeDS: :(
evile: seems safer to assume you're disliked and unwanted, really.
Because then even if you are, you dont' spend too much time in one
place and become annoying and unwanted as a result.
evile: (I do that alot, too)
SkyeDS: I decided after Barad Duin, Drandmir and to an extent the SCA
SkyeDS: I don't give a damn anymore
evile: I was the last person to leave the housewarming party last
Saturday. I kicked myself all the way home.
SkyeDS: I'm going to be me and whomever doesn't like it and doesn't
have the balls to tell me so can suck a donkey for all I care
evile: And then when it turned out none of the hosts had enjoyed
their party, I felt even rotten-er about it.
SkyeDS: I'm sure the lack of enjoyment had nothing to do with you
evile: I always talk too much and stay too late if I don't watch
myself. It's obnoxious. I really dont' have a clue how to behave.
SkyeDS: you have much more clue than I do
evile: or else I do, but I'm so busy trying to show someone I like
how much I like them that I forget.
SkyeDS: Bridget just foisted a whole bunch of her paranoia on the Eq
list
SkyeDS: and there were people thanking her for her tact
SkyeDS: I'm like omfg
SkyeDS: that woman HAS no tact
evile: Sorry to hear that....
evile: well, damn, time to go home.
SkyeDS: wind to your wings :)
evile: *hugs* have a good weekend :)
SkyeDS: u2 :)