I really don't see that Kaleon was saying anything that bad but UB really
took some serious offense. I will not offer any words..theres no
point. She has some interest in continuing to read his LJ even though
they broke up a long time ago and he's moved out of the fricken state
and moved on with his life, and if it pisses her off, well, she
sholdn't be reading. Definitely needs to follow her own advice.
And...really, neither of them is going to convince the other that
they're right. The people who know and love Kaleon will believe him, the
people who know/love UB will believe her or keep their mouths shut for
fear of having that rage directed at them, and it's basically an un-
winn-able debate. Sad that they waste so much of their energy on one
another. Kaleon seems like he's moving on better than she is. But I don't
think either of them are really in a healthy place. And what does it
really say that here I am, wasting my own time & space in my private
journal to document it? I wish she'd get help. I wish he'd get help.
skye_ds (skye_ds) wrote,
@ 2005-01-29 01:05:00
Current mood: loved
Current music: Black Sabbath ~ Paranoia
food for thought
Aesop's Fables:
* The Dog and the Shadow
A Dog, crossing a bridge over a stream with a piece of flesh in his
mouth, saw his own shadow in the water and took it for that of
another Dog, with a piece of meat double his own in size. He
immediately let go of his own, and fiercely attacked the other Dog to
get his larger piece from him. He thus lost both: that which he
grasped at in the water, because it was a shadow; and his own,
because the stream swept it away.
When you grasp at the shadow, you lose the substance
* The Kites and the Swans
The Kites of olden times, as well as the Swans, had the privilege of
song. But having heard the neigh of the horse, they were so enchanted
with the sound, that they tried to imitate it; and, in trying to
neigh, they forgot how to sing.
The desire for imaginary benefits often involves the loss of present
blessings.
* The Oak and the Woodcutter
The Woodcutter cut down a Mountain Oak and split it in pieces, making
wedges of its own branches for dividing the trunk. The Oak said with
a sigh, "I do not care about the blows of the axe aimed at my roots,
but I do grieve at being torn in pieces by these wedges made from my
own branches."
Misfortunes springing from ourselves are the hardest to bear.
* The Fox and the Grapes
A famished Fox saw some clusters of ripe black grapes hanging from a
trellised vine. She resorted to all her tricks to get at them, but
wearied herself in vain, for she could not reach them. At last she
turned away, hiding her disappointment and saying: "The Grapes are
sour, and not ripe as I thought."
There is comfort in pretending that what we can't get isn't worth
having.
* The Farmer and the Snake
One winter a Farmer found a Snake stiff and frozen with cold. He had
compassion on it, and taking it up, placed it in his bosom. The Snake
was quickly revived by the warmth, and resuming its natural
instincts, bit its benefactor, inflicting on him a mortal
wound. "Oh," cried the Farmer with his last breath, "I am rightly
served for pitying a scoundrel."
The greatest kindness will not bind the ungrateful.
* The Fox and the Monkey
A Fox and a Monkey were traveling together on the same road. As they
journeyed, they passed through a cemetery full of monuments. "All
these monuments which you see," said the Monkey, "are erected in
honor of my ancestors, who were in their day freedmen and citizens of
great renown." The Fox replied, "You have chosen a most appropriate
subject for your falsehoods, as I am sure none of your ancestors will
be able to contradict you."
A false tale often betrays itself.
* The Man and the Lion
A Man and a Lion traveled together through the forest. They soon
began to boast of their respective superiority to each other in
strength and prowess. As they were disputing, they passed a statue
carved in stone, which represented "a Lion strangled by a Man." The
traveler pointed to it and said: "See there! How strong we are, and
how we prevail over even the king of beasts." The Lion replied: "This
statue was made by one of you men. If we Lions knew how to erect
statues, you would see the Man placed under the paw of the Lion."
One story is good, till another is told.
Mother Goose
Chicken Little
Chicken Little was in the woods one day when an acorn fell on her
head. It scared her so much she trembled all over. She shook so
hard, half her feathers fell out.
"Goodness gracious me! Help! Help! The sky is falling! I have to go
tell the king!", cried Chicken Little.
So she ran in great fright to tell the king. Along the way she met
Henny-Penny.
"Where are you going, Chicken Little?", asked Henny-Penny.
"Oh, help!", cried Chicken Little. "The sky is falling!"
"How do you know?", asked Henny-Penny.
"I saw it with my own eyes, and heard it with my own ears, and part
of it fell on my head!", said Chicken Little.
Henny-Penny: "This is terrible, just terrible! We'd better hurry
up."
So they both ran away as fast as they could. Soon they met Ducky-
Lucky.
Ducky-Lucky asked, "Where are you going? Chicken Little and Henny-
Penny?"
"The sky is falling! The sky is falling! We're going to tell the
king!", cried Chicken Little and Henny-Penny.
"How do you know?", asked Ducky-Lucky.
"I saw it with my own eyes, and heard it with my own ears, and part
of it fell on my head!", said Chicken Little.
"Oh dear, oh dear!", cried Ducky-Lucky. "We'd better run!"
So they all ran down the road as fast as they could. Soon they met
Goosey-Loosey walking down the roadside.
"Hello there", said Goosey-Loosey. "Where are you all going in such a
hurry?"
Chicken Little said, "We're running for our lives!"
"The sky is falling!", cried Henny-Penny.
"And we're running to tell the king!", said Ducky-Lucky.
"How do you know the sky is falling?", asked Goosey-Loosey.
"I saw it with my own eyes, and heard it with my own ears, and part
of it fell on my head!", said Chicken Little.
"Goodness!", said Goosey-Loosey. "Then I'd better run with you."
And they all ran in great fright across a field. Before long they
met Turkey-Lurkey strutting back and forth..
Turkey Lurkey looked at them and said, "Hello there, Chicken Little,
Henny-Penny, Ducky-Lucky, and Goosey-Loosey. Where are you all going
in such a hurry?"
"Help! Help!", cried Chicken Little.
"We're running for our lives!", said Henny-Penny.
"The sky is falling!", cried Ducky-Lucky.
Goosey Loosey said, "And we're running to tell the king!"
"How do you know the sky is falling?", asked Turkey Lurkey.
"I saw it with my own eyes, and heard it with my own ears, and part
of it fell on my head!", said Chicken Little.
Turkey Lurkey cried, "Oh dear! I always suspected the sky would fall
someday. I'd better run with you."
So they ran with all their might, until they met Foxy-Loxy.
Now, Foxy-Loxy is a sly one and not easy to rattle. He looked at them
and said, "Well, well. Where are you rushing on such a fine day?"
Chicken Little, Henny-Penny, Ducky-Lucky, Goosey-Loosey, Turkey-
Lurkey all cried together, "Help! Help!" It's not a fine day at
all. The sky is falling, and we're running to tell the king!"
"How do you know the sky is falling?", asked Foxy-Loxy.
"I saw it with my own eyes, and heard it with my own ears, and part
of it fell on my head!", said Chicken Little.
Foxy-Loxy said, "I see. Well then, follow me, and I'll show you the
way to the king."
So Foxy Loxy thought to himself, "What good meals they will be", and
he led Chicken Little, Henny-Penny, Ducky-Lucky, Goosey-Loosey, and
Turkey-Lurkey across a field and through the woods. He led them
straight to his den, where they became dinner for Foxy-Loxy. They
never saw the King to tell him that the sky was falling!
Native American Myth: Rabbit the Fear Caller
A long time ago - no one really knows how long ago it was - Rabbit
was a brave and fearless warrior. Rabbit was befriended by Eye
Walker, a witch. The witch and Rabbit spent much time together
sharing and talking. The two were very close.
One day Eye Walker and Rabbit were walking along- and they sat down
on the trail to rest. Rabbit said, "I'm thirsty." Eye Walker picked
up a leaf, blew on it, and then handed Rabbit a gourd of water.
Rabbit drank the water but didn't say anything. Then Rabbit
said, "I'm hungry." Eye Walker picked up a stone and blew on it and
changed it to a turnip. She gave the turnip to Rabbit to eat. Rabbit
tasted it and then ate the turnip with relish. But still Rabbit
didn't say anything.
The two continued along the trail, which led into the mountains. Near
the top, Rabbit tripped and fell and rolled almost to the bottom.
Rabbit was in very sad condition when Eye Walker got to him. She used
a magic salve on Rabbit to heal his great pain and mend his broken
bones. Rabbit didn't say anything.
Several days later Eye Walker went searching for her friend She
searched high and low but Rabbit was nowhere to be found.
Finally, Eye Walker gave up. She met Rabbit quite by accident one
day. "Rabbit, why are you hiding and avoiding me?" the witch asked.
"Because I am afraid of you. I am afraid of magic," answered Rabbit,
cowering. "Leave me alone!"
"I see" said Eye Walker. "I have used my magical powers on your
behalf and now you turn on me and refuse my friendship."
"I want nothing more to do with you or your powers." Rabbit
countered. Rabbit did not even see the tears his words were bringing
to Eye Walker's eyes. "I hope we never meet and that I never see you
again," Rabbit continued.
"Rabbit," Eye Walker said, "We once were great friends and
companions, but no more. It is within my power to destroy you, but
because of the past and the medicines we have shared together I will
not do this. But from this day forward I lay a curse on you and your
tribe. From now on, you will call your fears and your fears will come
to you. Be on your way, for the sweet medicines that bound us
together as friends are broken."
Now Rabbit is the Fear Caller. He goes out and shouts, "Eagle, I am
so afraid of you." If Eagle doesn't hear him Rabbit calls
louder, "Eagle, stay away from me!" Eagle now hearing Rabbit, comes
and eats him. Rabbit calls bobcats, wolves, coyotes, and even snakes
until they come.
As this story shows, Rabbit medicine people are so afraid of tragedy,
illness, disaster, and "being taken", that they call those very fears
to them to teach them lessons. The keynote here is: what you resist
will persist! What you fear most is what you will become.
Principles of Self Fulfilling Prophecy:
* We form certain expectations of people or events
* We communciate those expectations with various cues
* People tend to respond to these cues by adjusting their behaviors
to match them
* The result is that the original expectation becomes true.
Paranoia ~ Black Sabbath
Finished with my woman 'cause she couldn't help me with my mind
People think I'm insane because I am browning all the time
All day long I think of things but nothing seems to satisfy
Think I'll lose my mind if I don't find something to pacify
Can you help me thought you were my friend
Whoah yeah
I need someone to show me the things in life that I can't find
I can't see the things that make true happiness, I must be blind
Make a joke and I will sigh and you will laugh and I will cry
Happiness I cannot feel and love to me is so unreal
And so as you hear these words telling you now of my state
I tell you to enjoy life I wish I could but it's too late
www.polyfamilies.com ~ Own Your Own Shit
As Someone from the PolyFamilies List has often commented, "Own your
own shit."
It's important to know what's your problem, and what belongs in
someone else's camp. It can be hard to be objective about this, but
you do need to try. Your feelings, by the way, are your problem.
No, you cannot say that how you feel is someone else's fault. Your
thoughts and feelings are your very own. How you react is entirely
up to you.
This does not mean I am advising being a doormat. I don't advise it
at all. But, you are free to choose reactions that best suit you.
Stating your feelings blatantly does not obligate the other person to
act according to your wishes.
Yes, I would rather, when I summon the courage to speak up, have
everyone be so impressed that they rush to act upon my wishes.
Not only is the Real World not this way, it does not need to be this
way. Communication does not and has never meant, "I've stated a
preference. If you love me, you'll immediately and eagerly act on
this preference."
skye_ds (skye_ds) wrote,
@ 2005-01-29 01:38:00
Current mood: pissed off
Current music: Eagles ~ Get Over It
Warning - I just need to vent
Rant Warning:
Rant:
I have been called liar by someone who did nothing but lie to me the
last 4 years out of the entire 7 years of our relationship.
I have been called hypocrite by a definitive hypocrite. Someone who
admittedly cheated on me (according to the Rules of Engagement which
were established prior to the beginning of the relationship) and then
accuses me of cheating, which is abhorrent to me.
I have been called abuser by someone who abused me mentally,
emotionally, and threatened me with physical abuse (hands raised
threateningly, throwing furniture at me, etc), for the last 4 years
out of the entire 7 years of our relationship. The final straw in
this relationship was when this person tried to initiate sex with me
while I was in a neck brace and asleep. He heaped mental and
emotional abuse on my head when I asked to postpone his gratification
until I had a full night's sleep.
I have been accused of forcing someone to play secondary ("second
string") when there ARE no secondaries in my polyfidelitous
marriage. Every member of my Family is a Primary. This accusation
comes from someone who became abusive because I would not make him
MORE Primary than the other members of the Family.
When this person met me, he knew that:
I was married, that it was a polyfidelitous marriage, that I would
not leave my husband
that I was the proud mother of (translate: proudly owned by) Arthur,
Jezebel and Mirage, all of whom exercise the inalienable right to be
the Centers of my Universe. Yes, my life revolves around them.
I am a double Gemini - this makes me completely open and honest,
brutally frank, means I can't stand lies of omission or commission,
including hypocrisy, on my part or anyone else's, and that I am a
communicator, a wordsmith. I believe that Words Mean Things. We
initially met on the INTERNET, through Debate and RolePlay (there's
that word thing again), for fuck's sake.
Now he bitches about:
I didn't give up my husband and my significant other for him, or put
him before them.
I insist on spending nearly all my time with the children.
Calls me liar, hypocrite, abuser and accuses me of playing word
games. What the fuck?! Excuse me?! Don't go away mad, just go away.
And leave me the fuck alone. To quote the Eagles, from Hell Freezes
Over, "Get Over It"
/Rant
Just needed to get that off my chest. My apologies. We now return
you to your regularly scheduled LJ, already in progress.
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