2659icq w/A

 

18 Nov. 1:57 pm

 

 

evile: hey :)
SkyeDS: hola :)
evile: what happened with Madrigal?
SkyeDS: we got "uninvited"
evile: oh...that sucks!
SkyeDS: sineater and sonar0m think I should write letters and go up the
ladder
SkyeDS: I'm pondering that
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: I could argue from my beliefs either way, for or against
writing
evile: yeah.
SkyeDS: the person responsible made it very clear that it was
personal last night
evile: was this the same idjit from last year?
SkyeDS: ya
evile: suck.
SkyeDS: the totality of my feeling right now is, why bother anymore
with prima donnas whose problem isn't me, it's themselves.
evile: yeah...you have many other irons in the fire, so why waste
your time with those bozos.
SkyeDS: I could just apologize for whatever we've done inadvertently
to ruffle feathers
evile: true.
SkyeDS: but I'm gettin about tired of that
SkyeDS: people get their feathers ruffled because they want to
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: I do begin to think it's possible to waste doing the right
thing on the wrong people
evile: *nod*
evile: It has definitely become a priority for me lately, to spend
time with worthwhile humans and not waste time with those who are
not. Except for work, and I come here because they pay me.
SkyeDS: ya
SkyeDS: and tis a beautiful day out
evile: finally :)
SkyeDS: I may just post a rant in my journal and let off steam
evile: that can help.
SkyeDS: interestingly enough this is the first year I've ever seen
them not sell out well in advance
SkyeDS: and 150 seats is a sizeable hole.
evile: *nod*
evile: sounds like the organizer may not be holding that position
next year.
SkyeDS: who knows
SkyeDS: maybe I'll keep an eye on it, he may not be choir director
forever
SkyeDS: he wasn't the first few years
evile: this year is marginally better financially for most people I
know, but it may just be the economy keeping people from spending $
SkyeDS: it's been a long time since I've had to deal with anyone who
felt threatened by me
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: unless one counts Bridget (and that's theory, not proven)
evile: heh. yup.
SkyeDS: they were so pitiful last night, I almost felt sorry for
them, past my anger and contempt.
evile: heh.
evile: so you stayed for the show even though you weren't invited?
wow. I would have walked.
SkyeDS: the choir director carried himself, in voice and posture,
like a scared little weasel
SkyeDS: oh HELL no
SkyeDS: and then he had to have some other member of cast come puff
out his chest as if I might be tempted to make a physical issue of it
evile: bizarre
SkyeDS: and some little girl wanders in, sees us, says as if we
aren't in earshot, this is going to get ugly, they aren't supposed to
be here, oh NO, and goes scurrying out
SkyeDS: blatant, naked insecurity.
evile: ugh.
SkyeDS: he didn't even give us the opportunity to volunteer as serfs.
SkyeDS: which to me was telling
SkyeDS: went straight to, buy a ticket
evile: wow!
SkyeDS: I'm like, um, no (privately, um, HELL fuck no)
evile: heh.
SkyeDS: I could create trouble for the whole show, were I so inclined
to take it a certain level over heads
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: but why bother
evile: it's not like it's a paid gig, anyway, right?
SkyeDS: this is the whole reason I hate competition
evile: yup
evile: oh, dear god. View image, Drill hole in skull, Pour bleach.
http://www.livejournal.com/userpic/20707532/1306305

SkyeDS: o k
evile: that's just...NASTY.
evile: between that picture and the post by the noob who went around
their first play party going "ew, squick!" at various scenes, I may
have to sign off LJ for the rest of the day.
SkyeDS: lol
evile: I talked to G. last night. Some interesting stuff.
SkyeDS: ?
evile: Apparently he sent [brother A] a bunch of $ for glasses, because [brother A]
told him that his prescription wasn't right & he needed a new exam &
glasses to see. Whereas, they told [aunt L] that [brother A] had broken his
glasses and needed new ones ([uncle B] & [aunt L] had just paid for [brother A] to
have an exam and glasses)
evile: So I guess that partially answers the question [aunt L] & I had,
since Trey, [brother A], and rubber_pig are NONE OF THEM working, how are they
living?
evile: They've also apparently started putting some kind of call
block on teh phone because the youngest's bio-dad is wanting parental
rights
SkyeDS: good grief
evile: the latest story on the youngest is that rubber_pig got a 'sperm
donor' through some sort of medical procedure.
SkyeDS: ???
evile: If that is the case, there is not much chance of the donor and
the recipient EVER knowing one another.
evile: So in this case I am thinking the word 'sperm donor' are being
used in a perjorative, rather than clinical sense.
evile: especially since the story last time rubber_pig talked about
Yummy's parentage, she said the father was 'some puerto rican'
SkyeDS: that's what I thought I heard too
SkyeDS: that, and sperm donor in the same sentence
SkyeDS: no mention of medical procedure
evile: would a clinic really specify 'puerto rican' in their
screening/selection process to a client?
SkyeDS: no clue
evile: And Trey's successfully fathered 1 child, so would a clinic
really be so quick to service a client in that situation? well, duh,
if she had the money, I guess....but it's just very fishy.
evile: unless Trey got a vasectomy after Bliss & rubber_pig's been opening
her cooch for others as some sort of bizarre revenge?
SkyeDS: I think tryin gto make sense of any story of theirs is just
going to give you a headache
evile: I hate to think of rubber_pig siccing my brother on the father of
her #3. [brother A] is a big guy but he is a total softie & couldn't hurt a
fly.
SkyeDS: I would surmise G is less than pleased that the glasses
got paid for twice.
evile: I didn't say ANYTHING to him about it. Just mentally noted how
different his glasses story was from [aunt L]'s version of same.
evile: it's a done deal, and no reason to have either Greg or [aunt L]
feeling like suckers over it.
SkyeDS: but if nothing gets said, what's to prevent them from doing
it again.
evile: I think we're all at the point now where we are not going to
give any more help or $, regardless.
SkyeDS: I hope so!
evile: I think rubber_pig saw how nicely [uncle B] & [aunt L] live & figured she'd
hit a mother-lode, but we aren't rich people and we certainly aren't
going to foot the bill for her and [brother A] to do...whatever and not work
to support themselves.
SkyeDS: the whole thing far surpasses my understanding
evile: yup.
evile: me too.
evile: Oh well. [sister H] will be here in less than a week & [cousin B]'s coming
up Friday, so I'm just going to focus on the good stuff, if at all
possible.
SkyeDS: :)
evile: Poor B. sounded so messed-up when he called last night. It
was so pitiful!
SkyeDS: ?
evile: He got his wisdom teeth out yesterday, so he was zonked from
painkillers and all puffed up, sounded like he still had cotton in
his cheeks.
SkyeDS: oh ya
SkyeDS: that's the only time I've ever been all the way under, when
they took my teeth
evile: *nod*
evile: I still have LARF as my backup plan if Thanksgiving gets too
hellish.
SkyeDS: contingency planning always good
evile: *nod*
evile: I should tell B. to bring his garb on Friday, just in case ;)
SkyeDS: where is LA RF?
evile: Hammond, Louisiana
SkyeDS: ah, LA as in state
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: that's at least an 8 hour drive?
evile: probably
evile: So, what do you think of Ashia's boyfriend?
SkyeDS: haven't met him I don't think?
evile: Oh, OK. I thought he was an SCa person, too.
SkyeDS: he may be but I don't remember meeting him
evile: oh well.
SkyeDS: maybe he's a horsey person and maybe he'll be a good
influence on her :)
SkyeDS: she can be nice when she wants, I've seen her do it
evile: he's younger than she is, so I doubt he'll be influencing her
much.
SkyeDS: she has control issues, so I guess that isn't surprising.
evile: heh.
evile: I am ready to go home & go to sleep. But I have to catsit
first.
SkyeDS: I'm ready to go home before I leave the house.
evile: I did OK this morning. I slept in a bit & didn't get my whole
morning routine done, but I needed the sleep, I think.
SkyeDS: "when a witch is tired, a witch goes back to bed"
evile: there wasn't much 'back' to it, it was more
like "buzz/flip/sleep"
SkyeDS: I get to leave at 5:30 today
evile: that's cool :)
SkyeDS: would have been nice to be outside today
evile: yup. shoulda taken my sick day today instead of Tues.
evile: Hopefully it'll stay nice for tomorrow & the weekend for y'all.
SkyeDS: that would be lovely
evile: *fingers crossed*
evile: oh, HUZZAH. Someone finally said what I wanted to do. Yay
intimekarasu!
http://www.livejournal.com/community/dot_bdsm_snark/26817.html
SkyeDS: that is an interesting conversation between her and lorelei
evile: *nod*
evile: Everyone has the right to their opinion, but if you are a
guest at a party, you have no business running around going "Ew"
every 5 minutes, IMHO.
SkyeDS: if I said something out loud, and people's responses to what
I said annoyed me
SkyeDS: I'd stop responding out loud
SkyeDS: that doesn't always work of course
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: because sometimes you have people who won't drop it when you
do
evile: yeah.
evile: tomorrow is another pig out day at work. So glad I've got
phone duty so I have an excuse not to participate.
SkyeDS: I wanna be outside (whine)
evile: *nod*
evile: I got my Gilbert Williams 2005 calendar in the mail yesterday.
I'm admiring it today. Not sure if I'll put it up at work or home...I
defnitely need more aesthetic goodness at work.
SkyeDS: who dat?
evile: posted about him in my LJ a while back...hang on...
evile: http://www.gilbertwilliams.com/
SkyeDS: kicks nonfunctioning browser
evile: oh, bummer. It's a pretty calendar anyway.
evile: I linked to the site Nov 8.
evile: Apparently people were stealing the image or something,
because there's now a PIG in my nice picture that I love....foo. And
yet...a pig.
SkyeDS: you would like the pigsticking part of the joust lol
evile: probably. :)
evile: I need another violent pastime. Krav Maga was very good for
that.
SkyeDS: lol
SkyeDS: time to go catsit?
evile: pretty much.
SkyeDS: wind to your wings :)
evile: I hope y'all have a great time this weekend. Zhan le Devlesa
tai sastimasa!
SkyeDS: :)

2658rudeness

18 Nov. 8:25 am

 

 

This strikes me as someone with very poor manners getting all pissed
off because someone calls them on it. For godssakes, if you go to a
play party and see something that makes you uncomfortable, DON'T
LOOK. Go somewhere else, find a friend to chat with in another area,
take a trip to the restroom to calm down if you are THAT distressed,
but don't stand there while someone is doing a scene going "ew!
Squick!"....that's just RUDE. Not to mention possibly dangerous to
the people involved if they get distracted by your verbal outpouring.
Sounds like people who knew she was new were cutting her a lot of
slack with their gentle suggestions that she shouldn't diss it if she
hasn't been in the scene that long & hadn't tried it yet.

http://www.livejournal.com/community/dot_bdsm_snark/26817.html

Beware of Cavebabe (lovecraftienne) wrote in dot_bdsm_snark,
@ 2004-11-17 18:31:00

Current mood: irked

"I don't like that." "You will."
Okay - first post in the forum.

Sunday night I had the pleasure of my first attendance at a play
party. Lots of fun was had, by me and by others.

I'm a relative newbie; I've only been playing for about four or five
months.

But (and this is a big but, rather like my big butt): I do not need
to be told, every 5 minutes, that what squicks me now won't in the
future.

It is, or it should be, considered vaguely possible that I have a
better awareness of myself than those who, say, have only just met me
have. So why do people - people to whom I have just said, hey, I'm
new here - feel the overweening necessity of contradicting me when I
say "oh, squick"? I have never once indicated any judgement of the
people indulging in the behaviour I'm looking at; by definition, I'm
at the freakin' play party, I'm not likely to suddenly turn out to be
The Hangin' Judge of Pre-vert County. I just said, "Oh, squick."
That's a statement of personal taste, only, or it should be.

Just really bugged me. Now, me, I'm a long-time queer girl, queer
activist, feminist, et c., et c.. I don't sit back and say, "that
bugs me" without saying it to the people who are bugging me (and yes,
I did). But I thought it might be useful to the community in general
to think about it a bit; that saying "You will" to people saying they
don't like the look of something for themselves is counterproductive.

Several reasons:

1) The newbie is now informed, by someone they might take to have
some clue, that there is a well-known "progression" of BDSM. Oh,
great, thinks newbie, if I get into this, I'm gonna end up doing
those things that really turn me off right now. Oh, I don't want
that, or it scares me. Better not come back. There is a tyranny
imposed by this idea that there is a progression that everyone
follows; if you don't follow it, or would rather not, then perhaps
you don't belong there. Only it's not true; not everyone moves much,
and when they do, they don't move to the same place.

2) The newbie is told that their feelings about what they like, and
don't like, and go squick over, are invalid, and shouldn't be
ventured. When the only response given to someone's declaration of
desires and tastes is "oh, that'll change"...imagine, if you will,
that you are sitting at a table when you are 8. Your mother puts out
a plate of your least-favourite food. "I don't like that, Mummy,"
you say, and she says, "Oh, you will." Whether or not she might, is
it right that she should? Would it make you feel better about eating
your least-favourite food? Me, I doubt it. It places the newbie in
a spot where she doesn't feel right about contradicting the person
who apparently knows so much...and so she swallows her feelings.

3) The simple fact that it's not terribly nice to contradict someone,
over something fairly personal, when you've just met them, and that
it tends to annoy them. Annoying newbies is a good way to have no
newbies.

One - and only one - person had the kindness to say, "oh, may I ask,
what do you like, then?" This is an excellent answer - it focuses
the newbie back on the positives, on the things that brought her in
the first place, and allows her to begin making a new friend by
revealing something of herself.

It didn't spoil it utterly for me, but it was a source of low-level
irritation throughout the night. I guess I just want people to
reconsider whether this is a useful answer to someone who tells you
that they're not enjoying something you talk about or they can see
happening, or whether another approach might lead to some more
positive interactions. "You will" is a real conversation killer.

Yes, we are all responsible for our own feelings - my point is only
that we as a community could better serve ourselves if this insidious
little response got quietly dropped as something acceptable.

Having had my rant, I will say that the play party was otherwise lots
of fun, and there were some real positive aspects to getting to see
other people play. I've got another rant about some stuff I saw, but
I suspect it =may= be an old one, so I'll hang on and read the group
for a while before I bring that one up.

•