evile: (snake)
[personal profile] evile
These are some pretty radical thoughts. There's a big part of me that wants to say "But if someone cares about me, wouldn't they _____?" and I think that's a dark road of emotional manipulation just waiting to be taken.

I think internalizing these and making them work for me will be very empowering.

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* You alone are responsible for the level of satisfaction with the interactions you choose to have.

* If your strategies for interacting don't work, there's no point in blaming the other person.

* The best question to ask yourself isn't, "Who's responsible for my pain?" but "What can I do about it?"

* You can't expect others to change or be any different than they are.

* Relationships come down to two fundamental choices: adapt or let go.

* As an adult, you're never a victim (though you may have been a victim as a child, betrayed and neglected by the very people responsible for your care and nurturing).

From Surviving a Borderline Parent: How to Heal Your Childhood Wounds and Build Trust, Boundaries, and Self-Esteem

more good stuff here

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evile

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