evile

 

I have totally lost my 3rd quarter sales tax return...but I got the
rest of the shit together. Feh feh feh. I hate tax shit. Worked on it
on and off from noon to aobut 6 yesterday, then went to bed early. No
fun. Also did laundry. Need to clean house, big time.

Went to a party Friday with e at Mark's house. He has a nice
house. All of Elena's friends are pricks--grownup frat boys and so-
ho's. JUst dreadful people. Some newly engaged couple came to the
party--they are going to get married after some 60 mile mt. bike race
in June. feh. They brought their cousin so-and-so and he cornered me
and told me how much he likes Jane Austen, cats, and his dad is
emotionally distant and always ponders every situation with "what
would Harry S Truman do?"...ugh.

I read the tarot cards for her twice--very little money stuff, mostly
spiritual and emotional issues for her. She needs to get out and
network more.

I read the cards for me last night, like what Monday is gonna be
like and it's bad. 5 of cups was the 'watch word' for the day, which
means basically submitting to misfortune and realizing that shit is
shit.

Feh.
====================================================
Scopes:

Taurus
Horoscope (by Astrocenter.com)
This is definitely not a good day to stay home and do household
chores, dear Taurus. If you do, some sad and rather irrational
thoughts may plague you throughout the day. No matter what the
weather's like, it would be far better to get out and do anything
that would keep your mind focused on something positive. Go shopping,
attend a sports event, see a movie, or visit a friend. Whatever you
do, get your mind off yourself. Go enjoy your day.

Gemini
Horoscope (by Astrocenter.com)
Some disappointing news could put you into a rather gloomy state at
some point today, dear Gemini. Someone close to you may suddenly have
to leave town for several weeks, and you'll be lonely without them.
There's not much point in dwelling on this, however. You'll just have
to stay in touch via phone or email and look forward to the time when
your friend comes back. You should be pretty busy during those days,
anyway!

personalized scope:

Erika
Sun Sign: Taurus
Rising Sign: Sagittarius

Today, Erika, you may be feeling a bit out of sorts. You are not
sick, just exhausted from the efforts you have been putting in at
work lately. This is a sure sign of stress, and an indicator that you
are due a true day off - from chores, personal projects, the works!
Forget the workload you had planned for the day. If you rest and
relax everything not finished today will be accomplished in no time
tomorrow. So take the day off - you need it!

Your Rising Sign

You are likely to get wrapped up in the concerns of your family at
this time. People who don't even know you will be able to see from
your face that there is indeed something brewing just below the
surface. Do what you can to resolve these issues before you engage
yourself fully with the people around you. Approach things with a
clear mind, drawing on the help of today's square between the Sun and
the Moon.

 

• May 31, 2002

   

  Sent off 2 letters inquiring about vending at 2 renfaires, one in
  Salado in Sept. and one in Ingleside (near Corpus Christi) in Dec.
  Both sounded pretty small, may not be worth it, but why not? I gotta
  keep trying & keep doing my creative thing...otherwise why be here?
  
  My #'s at work were terrible yesterday. I guess I should work a
  little bit harder today.
  
  Started the day off right: Peppermint caffeine soap and yerba mate
  enriched coffee from thinkgeek.com. Good stuff.
  
  ====================================================================
  Taurus
  Horoscope (by astrocenter.com)
  You may find that things in your life are taking off in a hundred
  different directions today, dear Taurus. Everything seems to be
  expanding at once and it may be difficult to get a solid grip on any
  one thing. Try not to get overwhelmed. Take things one step at a time
  and remember to maintain a good sense of humor in regard to every
  situation. Keep things light and energetic.
  
  
  Gemini
  Horoscope (by astrocenter.com)
  Today is a great day for you, dear Gemini, in which there is a
  terrific feeling of expansion in the air. This is one of those times
  in which a small seed of an idea can grow into a huge bean stalk
  right before your very eyes. Things are moving fast, and information
  is being dispersed even faster. Latch on to the wave of energy and
  set your own dreams into motion. You can accomplish a great deal if
  you set your mind to it.

• eekatfreaksdotnet

  May 31, 2002

   

  http://members.tripod.com/arabian-costume/
  http://www.angelfire.com/ma2/ww/Arab.html
  http://www.slinkyhorsewear.com/photos.html
  http://www.arabianshop.com/
  http://www.psychotica.net/evb/amarna/images/costume-pix/
  http://www.islamicclothing.com/
  http://www.tristatehorsemen.com/TS44.htm
  http://www.arabhorsestore.com/
  
  

  559angry women

  Expand Messages

   

  • eekatfreaksdotnet

    May 31, 2002

     

    http://www.nmt.edu/~bridge/ Holly Hughes
    http://www.lydialunch.org/ Lydia Lunch
    http://members.aol.com/meatwhistq/coleman.html Wanda Coleman
    http://www.cddc.vt.edu/feminism/Ronell.html Avital Ronell
    http://www.postfun.com/xre/newjuno.html Kerr & Malley
    http://aalbc.com/authors/sapphire.htm Sapphire
    http://acker.thehub.com.au/ Kathy Acker
    http://thegalleriesatmoore.org/publications/valie/valietour.html
    Valie Export
    http://www.susiebright.com/ Susie Bright
    
    (add to folder when you can)

 

• Mar. 26, 2002

   

  Gah, I have such a mental block against math. I can feel the fricken
  doors closing and the harder I fight to force the information into my
  head, the harder the doors close on me. I am filled with such disgust
  and shame in myself. I don't know what to do. It's only 4 classes, so
  I will probably stick it out, just sit there for 4 hours each night,
  hating myself and feeling stupid, beating myself up for refusing to
  understand and insisting on failing. Maybe that's why mistakes become
  more expensive and time consuming as you get older--you actually
  stick it out and stay until the bitter end, wheras when you're a kid,
  you just quit as soon as something isn't fun anymore.
  
  Why is it that for the most part I'd rather quit than fail? Either is
  shameful and horrible, but at least if I stick it out and fail
  anyway, I will have tried. I guess I just don't want to admit to
  myself that there is something I can't do. And I am sure I can, if
  the goddamned doors inside my brain wouldn't close against learning
  something new, against being challenged.
  
  I will stick it out. It's only 3 more classes. Maybe I will actually
  learn something.
  
  

  412 March Magpie numbers

   

  • Mar. 26, 2002

     

    Excalibur
    3/9: $114
    3/10: 54
    3/16: 95.50
    3/17: 21
    3/23: 74 (double check, I don't have it with me)
    3/24: 36.50
    ===========
    395 ($16 is Dee's)
    
    Natural Magic
    3/24: $124
    
    Costs: $55=NM booth
    $300=Excalibur booth
    ~$20 per weekend, food ($60 so far)
    ~$15 per weekend, gas ($45 so far)
    
    So, I can plan on this month costing me $495
    And let's say I make another $100 on Saturday 30th and something like
    $40 on Sunday 31st, so my total Magpies income for March will be
    about $643.
    
    All that work, all that free time gone, for less than $150.
    
    SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    
    

    413 Jen and I, sidekicks

     

    • Mar. 26, 2002

       

      I took the quiz and got Lynn from "Girls just want to have fun."
      I havent' seen the movie yet, but the description was just like
      Jen. "Your sidekick is Lynn from Girls Just Want to have fun. She is
      one fearless female. She helps you to discover what a kick-ass, risk-
      taking, fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants kind of person you can be. Even
      if you don't want to. She's witty and clever, fiercely loyal and a
      total blast."--is that not Jen to a T? :)
      http://glitterstars.com/shescrafty/quizzes/lynn.htm
      
      She took the quiz and got Duckie, from "pretty in pink." She says
      that's me. :)
      "He's one seriously loyal, devoted guy. Consistent as gravity. he
      knows you almost better than you know yourself. That's a good thing
      and a bad thing; he knows exactly how to pick you up when you're down
      and exactly how to put you back there."
      
      http://glitterstars.com/shescrafty/quizzes/duckie.htm

  
  
  
  
  
  
   

381 Friday scopes
Mar. 15, 2002
Taurus

Horoscope (by astrocenter.com)
Your sense of self may be challenged today, dear Taurus, and you
might have trouble keeping your seat during the joust. Keep in mind
that the way others see you isn't necessarily who you really are.
Don't feel like you have to change your direction to please anyone.
Ultimately, your only responsibility is to make yourself happy and to
be true to yourself. Today's aspect could set off bizarre events,
asking you to change your way of thinking. So stay flexible and adapt
to whatever situation occurs.

Gemini

Horoscope (by astrocenter.com)
As you single-mindedly follow the path toward acquiring the latest,
the greatest, the fastest, and the best, you may find that you have
left behind some fundamental values dear Gemini. Don't lose sight of
the principles that make up your foundation. You could get shaken
today when your ego goes on trial for pig-headed behavior. Keep
yourself in check, and be conscious of the way you project yourself
to others.
=============================================
Up till 1 a.m. making leg covers for my ezup top and little medieval
flappy things. Also a surcoat, which turned out badly. Sewing machine
doing bad things, loose stitches, skipped stitches, etc. Seems to
misbehave every time I have to replace thread in bobbin. FOO

Otherwise quite productive evening. will do glass tonite than crash &
burn.

382 Amber?

Mar. 15, 2002
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/wishlist/Z5B5SY8YDJ3A/ref=wl_s_3/104
-5812276-2893560

Amazon.com has a wedding registry now....I wasn't able to find andrew
but I did find a few ambers in bloomington, in. I think maybe this
one is 'our' amber. Sent the link to Jen, we'll see what she thinks.

 

383 for diaryland wish list pg

Mar. 15, 2002
http://ncapp-cdi.trifecta.com/styles/art/feature.jpg
http://www.styleschecks.com/jsp/SiteNavigator.jsp


384 Finished Do What Thou Wilt, Lawrence Sutin



Mar. 15, 2002
Not a bad book, a little strangely annotated/footnoted, but not bad.
Seemed very fair. Made me less sympathetic to AC than I had been in
the past. Possibly latent homophobia? or something? His
relationships with women really disturbed me. Devoted his life to
magick and was a crashing failure by any means of assessment. Died in
poor health, in debt, addicted to drugs. Very sad.

He is 2-3 generations from me. Died 1947. People my grandmother's age
were his students. His son is 62, if still alive. Interesting to
think that it is possible to speak to people who directly knew
Crowley. History passes away. wwII veterans dying like flies...soon
there will be no one who remembers the turning of the Aeon, passing
from Victorian morality to ...whatever.

Hm. Wow.

Amazing how long 1 book can last when I'm just reading on the bus and
not at home or work.

Need to hit the library today at lunchtime.

385 2000 Port

Mar. 15, 2002
http://www.winespectator.com/Wine/Daily/News/1,1145,1639,00.html

Top Names In Port Declare 2000 Vintage Posted: Thursday, March 14,
2002 By James Suckling
The Symington family, owner of such prestigious Port names as Graham,
Dow, Warre and Quinta do Vesuvio, is the first Port shipper to
officially declare the 2000 vintage. All the other big names are
expected to follow, including Taylor, Fonseca, Noval and
Niepoort. "I am unusually enthusiastic," said Peter Symington, the
veteran Port blender who oversees all of the Port production for his
family's massive enterprise. "The 2000s get better by the day. People
will be very enthusiastic when they taste them. I don't see anything
lacking in the structure of these wines to put them behind 1994. They
are absolutely superb wines. They have real guts, color, tannins and
aromas." Port houses declare a vintage, on average, for about three
years out of 10, traditionally waiting until the second spring after
the harvest to make their decision. A declaration is simply publicly
announcing that they intend to bottle and market a particular year of
Vintage Port. The last two declarations for Port were 1997 and 1994.
The latter is the greatest modern vintage, rated 99 points on Wine
Spectator's 100-point scale, while 1997 received a rating of 96.
Prices for the 2000 Ports are expected to be at the same levels as
1997. This means top names such as Taylor, Fonseca and Graham should
sell for between $75 and $85 a bottle. A large percentage of the
production will be sold this spring as "pre-arrivals," although most
Ports will not reach retail shelves until the end of this year.
Rupert Symington, a director for his family's Port shipping firm,
expected brisk sales of the 2000s, even though Vintage Port prices in
general are flat in the global market. "The wines should sell very
well," he said. "I don't see any problem -- this is a full-blown
vintage." He said that quantities of 2000 are small compared to past
vintages, due to a very small crop. Yields in some of the best areas
in Portugal's Douro Valley, the delimited vineyard area for Port,
were down 35 percent to 40 percent because of a bad berry set in
June. This gave the harvest a small, compact crop of grapes that are
packed with rich fruit and tannins. "The vintage is up in quality
with many of the best in recent decades," added Peter
Symington. "Anyone who thinks that 2000 was declared simply because
it was the year 2000 is wrong. The vintage made great wines." The
Symingtons are making 2000 Vintage Ports at all the houses they own,
including Dow, Graham, Warre, Smith Woodhouse, Gould Campbell and
Quarles Harris. In addition, they will be making 2000 bottlings at
the properties of Quinta do Vesuvio and Quinta do Roriz.

386  5 questions - from Arizabif on Diaryland

Mar. 15, 2002
Her answers:

1. What's your favorite animal?
Elephants
2. What pets have you had in your lifetime?
Hamsters, gerbils, dogs, fish, hermit crabs, cats, ferrets, and 1
hedgehog.
3. Is there any specific pet you have wanted, but never had? Why?
I would love to have a sugar glider, but they are really hard to care
for, and I have 5 cats who would love to eat a little sugar glider.
4. Are you allergic to any animals? Nope.
5. Do you have any 'pet' pet peeves(your pets or others')?
Cat hair covering all my black clothes. Cats that chew up important
papers. Cats that barf on freshly cleaned surfaces. Cats that get
right up by your face and then fart or belch.

My answers:
1. What's your favorite animal?
Hedgehogs
2. What pets have you had in your lifetime?
Mice, hampsters, 1 gerbil, cats, dogs, a hedgehog, fish.
3. Is there any specific pet you have wanted, but never had? Why?
I want finches, but not as housepets. I want a little outdoor aviary
for them, and I don't have the $$$ or time to make one & stock it
right now. Plus my sweetie really doesn't like birds.
4. Are you allergic to any animals? I think I'm allergic to our 2
cats. maybe the dog too. But I live in Austin, I'm allergic to
everything. Grin & bear it!
5. Do you have any 'pet' pet peeves(your pets or others')?
Cats that won't use their litterbox. Pets that people take where
they're not supposed to (ferrets & snakes at a renfaire with a "no
pets" policy, for example). Exotics that aren't well cared-for.
Spoiled, bratty pets. People who take their pets in public and don't
make them behave, let them onto the dining table to eat everyone's
food and think that's "cute", let them shit everywhere and don't
clean it up. Pets that people bring into my house or to other
gatherings without asking &/or under false pretenses ("we'll bring
it's cage and it can sleep while we visit"--and then it doesn't sleep
or stay in its cage, the owners let it run everywhere and shit
everywhere)

387 more pet pet peeves

Mar. 15, 2002
aggressive/misbehaving pets who are not on a leash or otherwise
restrained by owners.

388 Silk sheets

Mar. 15, 2002
http://www.domesticbin.com/IBS/SimpleCat/Product/asp/product-
id/16059.html

http://www.silklinens.com/silkbedding.htm

http://www.domestications.com/parent2.asp?product=A370736Bx =$140

also do ebay search "silk sheets" + queen


389 possible gifts for SIL or things for me to read, anyway

Mar. 15, 2002
Of Women and Horses
by GaWaNi Pony Boy author=GaWaNi%20Pony%20Boy/104-5812276-2893560> (Editor)

She Flies Without Wings : How Horses Touch a Woman's Soul
by Mary D. Midkiff author=Midkiff%2C%20Mary%20D./104-5812276-2893560>

390 More horse stuff

Mar. 15, 2002
Listmania!
Books for Novice Horse-people
by George Slusher, Pro trainer/instructor
E-mail this list to a friend

1. Buying Your First Horse : A Comprehensive Guide to Preparing For,
Finding and Purchasing a Great Horse
by Mary Guay, Donna Schlinkert (Photographer) (Paperback - October
1997)
Usually ships in 24 hours
List Price: $16.95
Our Price: $13.56
You Save: $3.39 (20%)
George Slusher's comments:
Best book on choosing a horse for a novice rider/owner

2. The United States Pony Club Manual of Horsemanship : Basics for
Beginners/d Level
by Susan E. Harris, Ruth Ring Harvie (Editor) (Paperback - March
1994)
Usually ships in 24 hours
List Price: $19.99
Our Price: $13.99
You Save: $6.00 (30%)
George Slusher's comments:
The book to start with--for kids AND adults!

3. The United States Pony Club Manual of Horsemanship : Intermediate
Horsemanship/C Level
by Susan E. Harris, Ruth Ring Harvie (Paperback - June 1995)
Usually ships in 24 hours
List Price: $19.99
Our Price: $13.99
You Save: $6.00 (30%)
Or buy used: $7.69
George Slusher's comments:
Continues where the D Manual left off

4. The Parent's Guide to Horseback Riding
by Jessica Jahiel (Paperback - June 1999)
Out of Print--Limited Availability
George Slusher's comments:
Great for parents of horse-crazy kids

5. Riding for the Rest of Us : A Practical Guide for Adult Riders
by Jessica Jahiel (Hardcover - April 1996)
Usually ships in 24 hours
List Price: $27.95
Our Price: $19.57
You Save: $8.38 (30%)
Or buy used: $17.95
George Slusher's comments:
Best book around for novice adult riders

6. The Horseback Almanac
by Jessica Jahiel (Paperback - May 1998)
Usually ships in 2 to 3 days
List Price: $7.95
Our Price: $7.95
Or buy used: $5.00
George Slusher's comments:
For younger kids (8-12)--and their parents!

7. Horsekeeping on a Small Acreage : Facilities Design and
Management
by Cherry Hill, Richard Klimesh (Illustrator) (Paperback - October
1991)
Average Customer Review:
Usually ships in 24 hours
List Price: $18.95
Our Price: $13.27
You Save: $5.68 (30%)
George Slusher's comments:
If you plan to keep a horse at home--get this!

8. Horse Handling & Grooming : A Step-By-Step Photographic Guide to
Mastering over 100 Horsekeeping Skills (Horsekeeping Skills Library)
by Cherry Hill, Richard Klimesh (Photographer) (Paperback - April
1997)
Usually ships in 24 hours
List Price: $18.95
Our Price: $13.27
You Save: $5.68 (30%)
George Slusher's comments:
A great pictorial guide, clear & concise--see Cherry Hill's other
books, too

9. Horse Health Care : A Step-By-Step Photographic Guide to
Mastering over 100 Horsekeeping Skills (Horsekeeping Skills Library)
by Cherry Hill, Richard Klimesh (Photographer) (Paperback - April
1997)
Average Customer Review:
Usually ships in 24 hours
List Price: $18.95
Our Price: $13.27
You Save: $5.68 (30%)
George Slusher's comments:
Like this one; another great pictorial guide

10. Becoming an Effective Rider : Develop Your Mind and Body for
Balance and Unity
by Cherry Hill, et al (Paperback - December 1991)
Average Customer Review:
Usually ships in 24 hours
List Price: $16.95
Our Price: $13.56
You Save: $3.39 (20%)
George Slusher's comments:
Covers both English & Western riding in surprising depth, but great
for novices

11. Understanding Equine Nutrition : Your Guide to Horse Health
Care and Management (Horse Health Care Library)
by Karen Briggs (Paperback - May 1998)
Usually ships in 24 hours
List Price: $14.95
Our Price: $14.95
George Slusher's comments:
Cuts through the hype & hoopla, taking the mystery out of feeding
horses

12. Uc Davis School of Veterinary Medicine Book of Horses : A
Complete Medical Reference Guide for Horses and Foals
by Mordecai Siegal (Editor), et al (Hardcover - 1996)
Usually ships in 24 hours
List Price: $32.00
Our Price: $22.40
You Save: $9.60 (30%)
Or buy used: $19.95
George Slusher's comments:
Best all-round vet book for horse owners

13. The Horse
by J. Warren Evans, et al (Hardcover - March 1990)
Usually ships in 24 hours
List Price: $85.20
Our Price: $85.20
George Slusher's comments:
Eventually, you'll want a "big" book on horses: start with this one

14. Basic Horsemanship : English and Western
by Gaydell M. Collier, E. F. Prince (Illustrator) (Paperback - April
1993)
Usually ships in 24 hours
List Price: $22.00
Our Price: $15.40
You Save: $6.60 (30%)
Or buy used: $10.29
George Slusher's comments:
Superb approach to learning to ride English or Western

15. Consumer's Guide to Alternative Therapies in the Horse
by David W. Ramey (Paperback - November 1999)
Usually ships in 2 to 3 days
List Price: $16.95
Our Price: $16.95
Or buy used: $9.50
George Slusher's comments:
Balanced, careful look at controversial topic; look for Dr. Ramey's
other books

Mar. 12, 2002
Taurus

Horoscope (by astrocenter.com)
No one is going to be catering to your needs today, dear Taurus, so
get up and do things on your own. You will find that there is little
sympathy coming from others, and strong opinions are a dime a dozen.
There is a great deal of gossip buzzing around that you may be
tempted to join in on. Don't be an enabler of this sort of behavior.
It is only going to alienate you from others in the long run. Keep in
mind, that today's aspect wants you to realize that other people
should serve as a mirror and that you can only grow, if you analyze
the projection carefully.

Gemini

Horoscope (by astrocenter.com)
Listen closely to the wind, dear Gemini, for the answers are blowing
around right in front of you. Make contact with people you haven't
heard from in a while. You will find that you can be quite productive
today in situations where you least expect it. Ironically, the less
you plan, the more you will get accomplished. Be spontaneous in your
actions. Revelations will come to you like lightning. You won't have
any serious obstacles in your way, and you should be successful with
any kind of transactions and/or negotiations
==============================================================
Last nite: I made a run to Hobby Lobby for glass and 50/50 solder.
Went by Jo-Ann fabrics and didn't find anything that just jumped out
at me, either for my 10th-century garb or my tents (I want to add
little medieval-looking flaps to my EZ-up top, & strips of fabric to
cover the legs). Got a neat idea for a folding-screen type thing to
hang suncatchers on. Another trip to Home Depot is in the works, I
imagine.

I got several stained glass shields cut out last night, and that's
about it. I will grind, foil, and possibly solder them tonight.

Still no solution for my March 24 quandary. I called Excalibur
management and they implied, but did not come out and say, that if I
didn't vend the faire on 3/24, there may be ugliness if I try to come
back and vend final weekend. And, of course, having breached my
contract, I would not be allowed to vend at Excalibur ever again.

Management suggested I post a "help wanted" sign up at the entrance.
Um...yeah. Put someone I don't know in my booth, have them handling
my cash and my product, and possibly misrepresenting my business? I
am not comfortable with that. Not to mention the fact that I made so
little this Sunday that paying someone to run my booth, even minimum
wage, would end up costing me more than it gained. Plus, I don't want
to be an 'employer'.


I suggested to management that they go thru their 'emergency back up
list' (the one they originally had me on) and see if they could get a
vendor to occupy that space on the 24th. "Impossible," I was
informed. So why have an 'emergency back up list' if it's not
possible to use it? Whatever!

The thing is:

1)
a)I signed up for Natural Magic's b-day wayy in advance, 2 months
before the actual event.
b)I signed up for Excalibur, at their invitation, 2 weeks before the
actual event.


2)
a)Excalibur has something like 100 vendors this year. (Way more than
the patron population can support, IMHO)
b)Natural Magic has something like 15 vendors this year.
So, me not being at Excalibur is not going to impact the overall
faire experience for anyone, but me not being at NM's event will.

3.
a)I have history with NM, having been a vendor since the first year
they were in business.
b)I have no history with Excalibur,
and looking at last weekend's numbers, I don't know if it's even
worth my while to want to come back next year.


4. I don't really see why they could blow off the costume requirement
for me so easily, and then get all militant about the attendance
requirement. What if I got sick? What if I had a family emergency?
Would that be an OK reason to miss faire, whereas a prior committment
is not? Seems very arbitrary to me. If/when I ever run a business in
which I have to direct other people, I will not be arbitrary. If it's
in the handbook, you do it. Or else why bother making a handbook?

Anyway, I guess I'll send out another pathetic email to all my
friends and see if I can find someone to cover for me. I have someone
who can possibly watch my Natural Magic booth for a few hours, but
not all day. I have another friend who wants to help, but wants to be
wherever I am, as opposed to running a booth by herself. Which is
very sweet, but I tend to get short with people when I'm setting up
or tearing down the tent, or otherwise preoccupied with stuff that
needs doing. So...I'm not really that fun to hang out with when I'm
in that mode. X is bringing a friend this weekend to fill in for me
for a couple of hours on Saturday while I go to a meeting...maybe her
friend will be willing to come back on the 24th. But that gets back
to the "someone I don't know in my booth" problem. Hopefully we will
hit it off and I'll feel comfortable asking her about it.

I take my obligations seriously; it is stressing me out to even think
of not being able to honor my committment to Excalibur on the 24th.
But if it comes to a choice between the two events, Natural Magic
wins and Excalibur loses. I hope some solution comes to hand, but
with less than 2 weeks to go, I am not too hopeful.

Mar. 9, 2002
Horoscopes

Taurus

Horoscope (by astrocenter.com)
Pick up the pace and smile today, dear Taurus. There is no need to go
moping around throughout your day. Remember that the image you
project to others will dictate the kind of action that gets reflected
back to you. Keep the corners of your mouth pointing up. It is
important for you to stay on the sunny side of the street today. You
have a million and one reasons to be happy, so feel free to show off
your pearly whites to the world. You could be experiencing your
emotions in a very intense way, so enjoy it to the fullest.


Gemini

Horoscope (by astrocenter.com)
Taking care of yourself is not just about eating the right food and
getting enough exercise, dear Gemini; it also has to do with taking
care of your emotions as well. If your mind is always buzzing around
like a bumblebee, there is little time to stop and reflect on your
feelings. Engage in a conversation with your heart and ask for
guidance from a higher power to guide you where you need to go.
Answers are not always rational, and they certainly will not always
be as obvious as you might like. Sometimes you just have to go
deeper.
==============================

Woke up at 5:15-ish. I'd been waking up every hour or so since 2 a.m.
so figured I might as well get up.

It's windy as fuck today with more bad weather on the way. Boy, it's
gonna be fun to set up my booth & try to vend in that shit.

Alex woke up late, of course. But...that's life, it's to be expected,
and hopefully everything will be OK since we are getting a super
early start.

Not excited about today. I'm just gonna have to fake it.

I guess I am probably not going to do so well out there, probably not
hit my sales goals. So...whatever. If I make my booth fee back, that
will be fine.

And the learning experience of course. Probably not as entertaining
as the learning experience of losing $2500 on the TRF bus trips, but
I bet it'll be right up there.

*sigh* I wish I had said no and asked her to put me on the list of
next year's vendors. I'm just not ready.

I got cloaks out of the closet, for me and Alex. Hopefully it will
warm up and settle down. But if it doesn't...well, that's just my
tough shit, I guess.

*SIGH!*

I have the worlds worst sinus headache this a.m.! Bleh. I am also
peeved at X & not really looking forward to spending the day with
her Saturday. I hope I get to feeling better & perk up by the
weekend. I was just talking to her yesterday about how disappointed I
am with the response to the TRF bus trips and about how poor I'm
gonna be, and she was all like "Well, you're not REALLY gonna be
poor. Nobody's gonna sell your house out from under you and you won't
have to borrow any money from friends like M. and I had to"...

Thanks for the sympathy. I could have really stood to hear a quick,
simple "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that." or "That really sucks" but to
have someone tell me that my feelings are invalid just really makes
me angry and sad. Okay, so I didn't spend my teen years doing drugs
and getting laid, so I worked instead. So I got a credit card early
in life and have built up a credit rating so that I can charge things
when I have no cash instead of borrowing from friends (and never
paying them back, may I add), so I didn't marry a man with a 10 grand
debt to the IRS. So I didn't get knocked up 3 times in the course of
5 years. So I work for a living. I guess that means I don't know what
it's REALLY like to be REALLY poor and I should just shut up and
count my blessings. Well, I don't have fucking Anthax either, I
guess I should just go dancing out into the streets because I am just
so goddamned lucky.

She's right, I am not dead, and I should count my blessings. And I
do. But I just wanted a sympathetic ear, not a big lecture about how
I'm not REALLY poor, how my feelings don't really count.

No christmas for anyone. No birthdays for anyone. No traveling. No
eating out. No new clothes. No new shoes. No dental check up this
year or next year. No eye check up this year or next year. No vet
check ups for the pets. No going out. No gym membership next year.
No new books, no new magazines, no fun at all. No more classes for
getting my Travel & Tourism certificate at ACC. No new tools or
materials for Magpies. No traveling to trade shows. No money for
booth fees. No money for selling on ebay. Just pay my debts and work
and go home and that's it. For at least a year. This puts my being
able to pay my personal debts and quit my job and devote more of my
time and energy to Magpies off by at least a year. This puts off my
Real Life for at least a year. But, no, I'm not poor. I still have my
house and I won't have to borrow money from friends. So, fuck me, I'm
not poor at all.