Gah, I have such a mental block against math. I can feel the fricken
doors closing and the harder I fight to force the information into my
head, the harder the doors close on me. I am filled with such disgust
and shame in myself. I don't know what to do. It's only 4 classes, so
I will probably stick it out, just sit there for 4 hours each night,
hating myself and feeling stupid, beating myself up for refusing to
understand and insisting on failing. Maybe that's why mistakes become
more expensive and time consuming as you get older--you actually
stick it out and stay until the bitter end, wheras when you're a kid,
you just quit as soon as something isn't fun anymore.
Why is it that for the most part I'd rather quit than fail? Either is
shameful and horrible, but at least if I stick it out and fail
anyway, I will have tried. I guess I just don't want to admit to
myself that there is something I can't do. And I am sure I can, if
the goddamned doors inside my brain wouldn't close against learning
something new, against being challenged.
I will stick it out. It's only 3 more classes. Maybe I will actually
learn something.
Excalibur
3/9: $114
3/10: 54
3/16: 95.50
3/17: 21
3/23: 74 (double check, I don't have it with me)
3/24: 36.50
===========
395 ($16 is Dee's)
Natural Magic
3/24: $124
Costs: $55=NM booth
$300=Excalibur booth
~$20 per weekend, food ($60 so far)
~$15 per weekend, gas ($45 so far)
So, I can plan on this month costing me $495
And let's say I make another $100 on Saturday 30th and something like
$40 on Sunday 31st, so my total Magpies income for March will be
about $643.
All that work, all that free time gone, for less than $150.
SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I took the quiz and got Lynn from "Girls just want to have fun."
I havent' seen the movie yet, but the description was just like
Jen. "Your sidekick is Lynn from Girls Just Want to have fun. She is
one fearless female. She helps you to discover what a kick-ass, risk-
taking, fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants kind of person you can be. Even
if you don't want to. She's witty and clever, fiercely loyal and a
total blast."--is that not Jen to a T? :)
http://glitterstars.com/shescrafty/quizzes/lynn.htm She took the quiz and got Duckie, from "pretty in pink." She says
that's me. :)
"He's one seriously loyal, devoted guy. Consistent as gravity. he
knows you almost better than you know yourself. That's a good thing
and a bad thing; he knows exactly how to pick you up when you're down
and exactly how to put you back there."
http://glitterstars.com/shescrafty/quizzes/duckie.htm
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evile
