A decision

[evile]

After yet another episode of being dragged by circumstances out of my happy denial place and face-to-face once again with My Issues, I think I've decided that I must find/make time to deal with this, or something is going to break, and I fear it will be me.

I think I will start with alanon. I think a fair number of my dysfunctional coping strategies stem from my family history of alcholism. It may be chicken/eggy to wonder if the denial, lack of communication, emotional distance, Little Prince Goldensprog & his sister Cinderella-Without-The-Ball Syndrome created the alcoholics on both sides of my family line, or if it was created BY the alcoholics...but either way, there are bad patterns of behavior that need to be told to fuck off out of my life on no uncertain terms.

At some point, it really does become more painful to try and stay the same than it is to face the dangerous uncertainty of change.

Wish me luck.

Comments

Re: Jeez, hon!

[roninjedi.livejournal.com]

Yeah. You're right, of course. No one can do it for you. Still if you need to throw a "pity party" for yourself, there are plenty of people who would be willing to listen and comfort you without judgement.

Strength to you.