Quora: Why is it that we want to bash a narcissist for being evil

Why is it that we want to bash a narcissist for being evil if their disorder happened to them because of bad parenting and because they have impulsive control problems?

I think it is a natural and normal part of healing from a narcissistic relationship to, at least briefly, 'bash' ones ex.  It can be problematic if this bashing goes on for a long time, and certainly can do harm to oneself to focus too much on the story of the bad relationship, or allow yourself to become bitter, hateful, and cruel as a result of a bad relationship.

I do not  feel that my posts here ‘bash’ narcissists, I describe their abusive behavior. If a person does not wish to be described in negative terms, they should not behave abusively toward others.

I understand that narcissists are defective human beings, either through a birth defect or brain damage or a childhood experience, and it is not their fault that they were born into an abusive family, or born with deficient brains or faulty body chemistry that leaves them without the capacity to be fully human. It is truly a tragedy for everyone concerned--the narcissist and all of the people who love them and try to help them, who are in turn used, abused, and harmed by the narcissist.

But that does not mean that I wish to allow myself to be abused and mistreated by someone, any more than I would care to expose myself to being bitten by a rabid dog. Describing the narcissists abusive, malignant behavior is not an ‘attack’ it is a factual reportage of what to expect if you allow a narcissist in your life. It is not a rabid dog’s fault that it caught rabies. It is not a rat’s fault that it carries diseases. I choose to use my abilities of discernment to avoid rabid dogs and eject rats from my home. That’s all. No hate. No bashing. Just protecting myself, my life, my health, and my home. 

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two nights in a row

 dreamed about my sil skye_ds saturday night AND sunday night.

Saturday night's dream was her on a podcast or radio station, just going through this big long list of every wrong thing I had ever done or said to her. She blamed me for literally *everything* that had ever gone wrong in her life since meeting me, from relationship problems to health problems to job problems.   And then people on her social media started unfriending her in droves. I was watching/listening but for some reason couldn't  hear the podcast/radio show very well and was trying to find someone to send me the link.  

Last night, I was at her childhood home, talking with her father. (in RL  he has passed away)  He was telling me how he preferred her first husband to the guy she's with now, kind of making rude and ignorant comments about long-hairs and liberals and whatever, saying how the first guy was respectful and well groomed and had a real job and this and that.   Then we were looking at a picture that somehow became RL, these two people in Victorian gothic clothing, wearing these elaborate face masks and hats that completely hid their faces.  For some reason I assumed these two people were his grandddaughter and niece, and asked him if having such an odd daughter who dressed and behaved so outlandishly  helped him accept his granddaughter and niece who were apparently also 'characters'...he corrected me and told me that the people we were looking at were skye_ds and her prom date, from high school, not his niece and granddaughter in the present day, so he didn't really answer my question about whether he accepted his family members or not.  

Then there was something about two pet cats they had, both black cats, and one was kind of a sweet and loving housepet and the other was kind of a feral 'barn cat' .  Skye was saying something about how she and the barn cat were psychicly linked, because they were on the same cycle,  as she got her period at the same time the barn cat was going into heat and something about how she and the cat were the same, or spiritual siblings, or some wierd TMI crazy talk. Sort of trying to link the feral cat's agressive and antisocial behavior to excuse her own similar aggressive/destructive behavior? 

Then her mom saw me, like the dreaming me/astral me/real me and told me to leave, that I was not welcome in her home. And it was so wierd and felt very real, like she actually saw me having this dream about her home and her husband and wanted me gone. Like, she was able to see me and also banish me.  And I realized that she was a very powerful witch herself and that skye_ds must have inherited some of her strong psychic powers.  Even though I know that skye's mom is  one of those super christian/evangelical types and would never practice magic or even recognize those powers in herself.

anyhoo.....wierd/creepy/uggy feeling dreams. Skye's birthday was yesterday so I guess that's why I have her haunting my subconscious.