DONE!

I decided today that I'm going to be done with self-improvement. Who I am today is who I am. And I am a pretty OK person, in spite of (or maybe because of) everything that is broken and wrong with me.

However I do today, it will be the best I can do with who I am and what I have right now. I am not going to scold, berate, or beat myself for being who I am and doing what I do. I am no longer going to tell myself I'm a bad person for liking what I like, wanting what I want, or even for eating the whole goddamn thing. I'm no longer going to tell myself I don't deserve something positive, or that I should be punished for something I did or said, or failed to do or say.

If I am broken and wrong, I will continue to be broken and wrong. And I am going to accept this broken wrong thing and love the hell out of it. Because it's who I am. I'm not going to chase gurus, therapists, doctors, or teachers to show me how not to be broken and wrong. No magic pills, no magic books, no magic words. I'm not going to be perfect, ever, and I'm going to be OK with that from now on.

I'm going to say wrong things. I'm going to do wrong things. I'm going to hurt people and fuck it all up. People I allow and love in my life will do the same to me. We will survive, learn, and grow, each in our own way. I will allow this to happen in myself and others. But I'm not going to push, force, or punish. I am who I am today. You are who you are today. And it is all OK.

(and, just by way of really cool coincidence, this came across my Facebook feed just after I wrote the above words....nice serindipity!)