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06-24-2014 at 11:54 AM (101 Views)
Quote Originally Posted by Dr Tara
Do you feel like you failed because you couldn't save Nutjob from herself? If so, trace it back to the source. Where did you learn your rescuer/caretaker behavior?
Are you saddened by the fact that Nutjob's bad qualities outweigh whatever good qualities she has and any hopes you had for a future with her?
her bad qualities outweigh whatever good qualities she has and any hopes you had for a future with her
for me, that is one of the saddest, most frustrating, and most annoying things about my stepbrother's wife.
When they first started dating, she was pretty. She seemed intelligent & well read, and well educated. She played a musical instrument well. She sang pretty well. She seemed well put together, interesting, career-minded. She had promise. She was going places.
As I got to know her, I found that we shared many interests, she had interesting hobbies, but there was always a slightly hysterical edge to all of it, like she was trying too hard, working too much to create an image, like just relaxing and being herself wasn't an option..she had to keep working on this image. She had to not just like a thing, she had to possess it totally and set herself up as an expert regarding whatever it was...
And then, as time went by, it was not enough to just share an interest or a liking for something, there had to be one upmanship, and then she had to go into lectures and monologues about how smart she was and how stupid everyone else is....and she just became this overblown, bitchy monster, instead of someone interesting to talk with...
What's horrible is not so much that she is an overblown ego inside an overblown body, spewing an endless stream of abusive language and "mee mee me" "I I I" "Mine mine mine"...but that there used to be something there that was interesting, intelligent, perhaps even kind and loving....and her disease killed everything inside her that could have been truly great and wonderful, in service of this false front, the "Great and Wonderful ME Show"...that is what is depressing and sad about the whole mess..she had potential to be an actual cool, interesting person instead of the cruel cartoonish monster she has become.
Quote Originally Posted by Dr Tara
Do you feel like you failed because you couldn't save Nutjob from herself? If so, trace it back to the source. Where did you learn your rescuer/caretaker behavior?
Are you saddened by the fact that Nutjob's bad qualities outweigh whatever good qualities she has and any hopes you had for a future with her?
her bad qualities outweigh whatever good qualities she has and any hopes you had for a future with her
for me, that is one of the saddest, most frustrating, and most annoying things about my stepbrother's wife.
When they first started dating, she was pretty. She seemed intelligent & well read, and well educated. She played a musical instrument well. She sang pretty well. She seemed well put together, interesting, career-minded. She had promise. She was going places.
As I got to know her, I found that we shared many interests, she had interesting hobbies, but there was always a slightly hysterical edge to all of it, like she was trying too hard, working too much to create an image, like just relaxing and being herself wasn't an option..she had to keep working on this image. She had to not just like a thing, she had to possess it totally and set herself up as an expert regarding whatever it was...
And then, as time went by, it was not enough to just share an interest or a liking for something, there had to be one upmanship, and then she had to go into lectures and monologues about how smart she was and how stupid everyone else is....and she just became this overblown, bitchy monster, instead of someone interesting to talk with...
What's horrible is not so much that she is an overblown ego inside an overblown body, spewing an endless stream of abusive language and "mee mee me" "I I I" "Mine mine mine"...but that there used to be something there that was interesting, intelligent, perhaps even kind and loving....and her disease killed everything inside her that could have been truly great and wonderful, in service of this false front, the "Great and Wonderful ME Show"...that is what is depressing and sad about the whole mess..she had potential to be an actual cool, interesting person instead of the cruel cartoonish monster she has become.
