(no subject)

 

11/19

LJ entry:

I got 12 hours or so of sleep last night.

I dreamt about toobin' with my mom, sister, and cousin. In Glacier
park, I think, because there were thermal pools and geysers and stuff.
I had my pimp tube [foreground of photo]. We had a cabin right on the
river and we were going to walk upstream for an hour or so and then
float back down to the cabin. It seemed like a positive dream.

I went to Target since I was up early-ish, for a Saturday. I got the
Jones Soda Thanksgiving pack. It comes with a spork, a wet-wipe and a
wine list (I'm sure that drinking all that wine would definitely
improve any holiday feast). That will be fun to try on Thanksgiving, I
think. I also got cleaning supplies, on the theory that having new
stuff to clean with will encourage me to actually...Oh, I dunno, CLEAN.

Then I headed up to my aunt and uncle's house to get [info]fuck_puppy
for Core I class at noon. I was stopped by a cop and got a ticket. I
can't tell from the fee schedule what I owe. I guess I'll call them. I
am sort of tempted to fight it; I was accellerating to get on the damn
freeway when the pig clocked me, and then I was decelerating as I got
off, was already down to 60 (in a 55) when he started flashing his
lights. asshole.

So, then I went to class. I really sucked in class today. I was weak
and clumsy and almost cried several times. My balance was nonexistent,
my strength was not much better, and I had a piss poor attitude
towards the instructor every time he tried to help me. I felt like
shit. I don't know what the fuck was wrong with me. I'm angry and sad
and just...yuck. I don't blame anyone for not wanting to be around me.
Fuck, I don't want to be around mySELF.

I just feel all my poor choices in life and all my fuckups and all my
laziness that has led me to this house, this job, this body, this
life, just closing in on me. I feel fucking trapped. I hate it. I hate
myself.

I'm sorry. Y'all don't deserve my crap.

=============================================

Jones Soda selections this year:

Flavors: Brussels Sprout with Prosciutto, Cranberry Sauce, Turkey &
Gravy, Wild Herb Stuffing, and Pumpkin Pie.
Also included: Serving spoon, moistened towelette, and wine list.

Wine list:

Newton Pinot Noir Vintage 2000

Haywood Estate Morning Sun Zinfandel Vintage 1997

Columbia Crest Chardonnay Vintage 1999

Fonseca LBV Vintage1995

Might be fun to try and find some of those. Gotta find something less
nasty than Muskrat.
 

3840Not feeling so great

19 Nov. 3:13 pm

 

 

LJ entry:

I got 12 hours or so of sleep last night.

I dreamt about toobin' with my mom, sister, and cousin. In Glacier
park, I think, because there were thermal pools and geysers and stuff.
I had my pimp tube [foreground of photo]. We had a cabin right on the
river and we were going to walk upstream for an hour or so and then
float back down to the cabin. It seemed like a positive dream.

I went to Target since I was up early-ish, for a Saturday. I got the
Jones Soda Thanksgiving pack. It comes with a spork, a wet-wipe and a
wine list (I'm sure that drinking all that wine would definitely
improve any holiday feast). That will be fun to try on Thanksgiving, I
think. I also got cleaning supplies, on the theory that having new
stuff to clean with will encourage me to actually...Oh, I dunno, CLEAN.

Then I headed up to my aunt and uncle's house to get [info]fuck_puppy
for Core I class at noon. I was stopped by a cop and got a ticket. I
can't tell from the fee schedule what I owe. I guess I'll call them. I
am sort of tempted to fight it; I was accellerating to get on the damn
freeway when the pig clocked me, and then I was decelerating as I got
off, was already down to 60 (in a 55) when he started flashing his
lights. asshole.

So, then I went to class. I really sucked in class today. I was weak
and clumsy and almost cried several times. My balance was nonexistent,
my strength was not much better, and I had a piss poor attitude
towards the instructor every time he tried to help me. I felt like
shit. I don't know what the fuck was wrong with me. I'm angry and sad
and just...yuck. I don't blame anyone for not wanting to be around me.
Fuck, I don't want to be around mySELF.

I just feel all my poor choices in life and all my fuckups and all my
laziness that has led me to this house, this job, this body, this
life, just closing in on me. I feel fucking trapped. I hate it. I hate
myself.

I'm sorry. Y'all don't deserve my crap.

=============================================

Jones Soda selections this year:

Flavors: Brussels Sprout with Prosciutto, Cranberry Sauce, Turkey &
Gravy, Wild Herb Stuffing, and Pumpkin Pie.
Also included: Serving spoon, moistened towelette, and wine list.

Wine list:

Newton Pinot Noir Vintage 2000

Haywood Estate Morning Sun Zinfandel Vintage 1997

Columbia Crest Chardonnay Vintage 1999

Fonseca LBV Vintage1995

Might be fun to try and find some of those. Gotta find something less
nasty than Muskrat.