3397icq w/A

 

Aug. 1, 2005

 

 

evile: hi :) How was your weekend?
SkyeDS: good :) how was yours?
evile: Nice. Not long enough :P
SkyeDS: nods. I always need a weekend to sleep off my weekend.
evile: Toobin was good. Only 5 of us, though.
SkyeDS: quality rather than quantity?
evile: yeah.
evile: I wonder how people can expect me to take off work & book
major trips with them, when they'll flake on me for little piddly
stuff just because they've got a new dick to play with...
SkyeDS: who has a new playtoy?
evile: nikiyoy. & maybe onyxlynxx
SkyeDS: I will say that I'm happy for onyxlynxx. In my unasked for
opinion she will handle her playtoy(s) responsibly.
evile: *shrug* maybe, maybe not. I have been burned enough times by
that particular fire, I really don't want to throw good money after
bad any more.
SkyeDS: As for nikiyoy, I wish for her happiness, but I do think if she
continues down her chosen road, she's going to reap what she sows.
evile: everyone does.
SkyeDS: actually, given my own behavior for years I am amazed and
thankful that I never had a single STD. That's amazing.
evile: *nod* me too. God protects children & fools :)
SkyeDS: nodnod hehe
evile: getting ditched by female friends for their new
boyfriends ...it keeps happening and I'm sure there's supposed to be
something I'm to learn from it. Pick my friends more carefully? I'm
pretty damned picky already. Don't have female friends? That seems
overly negative. I just don't know.
evile: I'm not as important as a dick? Maybe...but that lesson seems
overly harsh and hurtful. I mean, come on, I had Nanny in my
formative years, I *Know* I'm never going to be as important as a
dick.
SkyeDS: I think it's a cycle. It will probably pass.
evile: *shrug* I'm just not going to waste any more of my time,
energy, or money on female friends. If they show up when/where
they're supposed to, great, if not, great.
SkyeDS: that sounds like a good plan.
evile: & maybe work on not letting their dismissal of me actually
impact what I think of myself.
evile: Ok, so I'm worth less than a dick. That does not make me
worthless. Just worth less than a dick.
evile: Maybe step 1 should be to realize that dick is right up there
with GOD in some people's estimation. So it's not so bad to be 2 or 3
steps beneath God.
SkyeDS: occasionally we all get our priorities confused. most of us
straighten them out eventually. I would like to think.
evile: well, who knows. Maybe if I was single, dick would be higher
on my priority list too. As it is, it's maybe 3 steps above
organizing the sock drawer. :P
evile: Oh well. I'm looking forward to girls night, anyhow. Even if
it just ends up being me and Ladydreamtime.
SkyeDS: I admire Ladydreamtime and Kulilinei greatly
evile: Me too. Perhaps not coincidentally, neither of them are the
type to commit to something and then back out at the last minute.
evile: Jaime's dating again, already, but he hasn't let that get in
the way of his friendships & commitments.
SkyeDS: mostly men don't seem to be as silly about women as women do
about men
SkyeDS: but then mostly men don't see when women are being, well,
women, to each other, even right in front of a man's face
evile: *shrug*
evile: "bros before hos" has always seemed admirable. And
women...well, it seems that if you want to have female friends, first
you gotta have the claws :P
SkyeDS: most women I don't understand. and then sometimes I just
don't get men. many times I don't understand people as a whole at
all. sometimes I don't even understand me :)
evile: In nature, the alpha male doesn't really intervene much when
the females jostle for position. I imagine it's mostly the same in
human relationships
evile: I think people get themselves in trouble when they try to put
on airs and pretend that their big brains make them something other
than animal.
SkyeDS: bonobos are interesting
SkyeDS: they have homosexual relations that have nothing to do with
dominance (like dogs usually do)
SkyeDS: and the women have a lysistrata type organization that allows
them to rule social structure
evile: aha, you've been reading among the poly writings, haven't you?
SkyeDS: I very seldom read anything poly except for noel, who doesn't
write for teh cause anymore
SkyeDS: I found that poking around on my own
SkyeDS: I like noel's www.polyfamilies.com and franklin veaux's
xeromag poly site
SkyeDS: I think the xeromag bdsm site might be good too but I haven't
read it yet
evile: OK. Seems like poly folks like to talk about the bonobos quite
a bit, because of their wonderful peaceful poly monkey lifestyle.
SkyeDS: that doesn't surprise me actually. the gays have for a long
time because of the nondominance homosexual tendency.
SkyeDS: I'm not as interested in the poly aspect as I am seeing the
premis of Lysistrata enacted in the animal kingdom by fairly high up
there primates
evile: *grin*
SkyeDS: I am what I am, our Family structure is what it is, I don't
really spend much time thinking about what just is.
evile: *nod*
evile: the amount of talking some people seem to do about the
relationship...just exhausts me reading/hearing about it. I can't
imagine trying to live like that.
SkyeDS: I don't want to sound snarky.
SkyeDS: But it seems like the people who are successfully poly don't
have as much time to spend at poly dinners and such as the others
evile: snark away :)
evile: I certainly haven't seen anyone be successful treating the
poly dinners as a meat market.
evile: but I don't know anyone's personal life well enough to judge
whether it is more/less successful than anyone elses. A lot of
people have it very good on the surface, it seems.
SkyeDS: Kulilinei and Ladydreamtime seem to have the polything down pretty good
and it seems to me they don't have as much time to socialize and
theorize about how to make poly successful because I dunno, they're
out actually doing it?
evile: *shrug* Ladydreamtime and Kulilinei are both pretty regular attendees at
poly dinners & other social events.
SkyeDS: maybe I have an off impression because usually I see where
they say in journal that they want to go to stuff more often than
they actually make it there <shrug>
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: I still think in general there are people who do, and people
who talk about doing.
evile: yup
evile: there's 300+ people on the austin poly group, there are maybe
30 people who regularly show up to dinners, poly 101, etc.
So....yeah. The rest of them are more than likely too busy with their
RL poly stuff to actually participate in the group.
SkyeDS: I find some humor in the whole situation as it played out.
evile: which ?
SkyeDS: it had never occurred to me that there would be an Austin
Poly group
SkyeDS: I knew about the Seattle group
SkyeDS: but I never thought about seeking out a group in austin
SkyeDS: until you mentioned them
SkyeDS: and you found them in a quest to get your mind around our
family structure, no?
evile: sure...
evile: so it's amusing/ironic/something to you that I've found
friends there?
SkyeDS: no
SkyeDS: I'm not doing very well here am I
SkyeDS: it's ironic/circular
SkyeDS: we start the circle by establishing a poly triad
evile: well, I know I'm a shitty person who deserves to have n o
friends, so it is amusing to find people who will tolerate me.
SkyeDS: which sends you in search of a group of poly people that it
had not occurred to any of us to look for
SkyeDS: and we the polies found them because you brought them to our
attention
SkyeDS: does that make better sense?
evile: Actually, I got hit on at PNO by one of the polys, who
introduced me to Mouser, who introduced me to Appleang, a nd I liked them
A Whole Lot, so ended up going to poly stuff.
evile: And in the meantime, figured out more about what poly is all
about, thus giving me a better understanding (& hopefully more open
hearted tolerance) of sineater's family situation
SkyeDS: the humor to me is that we were introduced to a group of
likeminded people by someone else rather than finding them on our own
evile: ok
SkyeDS: and i'm still not putting across what I wanted so I'm
shutting up now
evile: *hugs* My humor-o-meter is broken today. family BS + hormones.
evile: not you
SkyeDS: *hugs* :-/
SkyeDS: I liked looking at Mouser and listening to Mouser
evile: oh, yeah, and work BS. Let us never forget work BS.
evile: Mouser is a very nice person. I really miss him & his
leadership style.
SkyeDS: he's come back before, so maybe we can hope
evile: doubt it. He seems pretty stable in his new job down in FL.
evile: I am getting discouraged by the lack of response by
the 'powers that be' on the yahoo group. The peons can talk all they
want among themselves, but unless one of them gives us access to the
calendar functions that's as far as it's gonna go.
evile: but I'm not in a good place to deal with any of that sensibly,
so I am going to let it sit a while and hope that perhaps it will go
forward to some sort of resolution when we are making new dinner
suggestions on Wednesday.
evile: That one post by Matt (whoever he is) was so
disheartening. "It was too disorganized so I just gave up trying to
show up"...how many other people have had problems and never said
anything? How many people have missed out on meeting others because
of bad organization? It's disappointing.
SkyeDS: social structure and/or lack thereof bewilders me
SkyeDS: but then I am often bewildered by many things, because I'm
probably not the sharpest tool in the shed :)
evile: eh, you have your own areas of expertise.
evile: I don't want to be officially in charge of anything, but I am
good at organizing.
SkyeDS: I've been in the general's shoes. I can do it, but I don't
like it. It's not comfortable. I like being a field marshal.
SkyeDS: I know that's seen as a lack of ambition, but I really don't
care.
evile: *nod* I think it's important to do what is comfortable, and
what you're good at. Around here, a lot of problems are created by
promoting people above where they're capable.
evile: Take a great producer, for example, and give her a supervisory
job.
SkyeDS: is that what they call the peter principle?
evile: *shrug* maybe.
SkyeDS: promoting to the level of one's highest incompetence or
something like that
evile: yup :) I think it's engraved in this building somewhere.
SkyeDS: beyond the promotion to level of incompetence, there are many
things I am more than competent at, and I *still* don't like to do
them
evile: *nod* yup.
evile: Or like doing for fun but would not like to do 8 hours a day
40 hours a week, world without end, amen.
SkyeDS: amen, amen, amen. ;)
evile: It always takes the fun out of somethng to 'have' to do it.
Told [my cousin B] this as he contemplated a career in porn :P
SkyeDS: LOL!
SkyeDS: a career like, Du Barry's, might not have been a bad thing
evile: that's a little more high class. :P
SkyeDS: an old friend of mine was quoting to me some study about the
percentage of female rules since the beginning of recorded history
SkyeDS: and how many of them came to power through husbands or
fathers rather than in their own rights
evile: *nod*
SkyeDS: I laughed out loud at him and pointed out that men have two
heads and God only gave them enough blood to power one at a time
SkyeDS: we don't need power in our own right, we exercise our power
through men and it works just fine
SkyeDS: besides I wouldn't say that too loudly around the likes of
Hillary Clinton or Eleanor of Aquitaine
evile: heh. true :)
SkyeDS: go ahead, be the head all you want, we are the neck, and the
head cannot work independently of the neck, it faces w hatever
direction the neck tells it to.
evile: *nod*
evile: Well, I had phone duty today so I get to leave early. :)
Sorry I'm so twitchy today. Tomorrow will be better, I hope.
*hugs*
SkyeDS: wind to your wings dearheart :)

3394the latest [brother A]/pig/mom drama

Aug. 1, 2005

 

 

I already posted this once, but yahoo ate it. I edited it slightly to
post in LJ (left out the parts about [Dad] giving sineater and Kate money,
because I don't think sineater would be happy knowing people were in his
business like that. I know he feels guilty and like a f up anyway,
all the time, because of skye's abuse, so why drive it home that Mom
knows the extent of Dad's bailing him out, etc. and make him feel
more worthless. It's all HER but sineater takes it on himself...suck suck
suck.)

=======================================================

Email from Mom:

[brother A] is in trouble--I know, what else is new? But
this is something you and Sweetie could help him with
if you could find it in your heart to lay aside some
of your feelings about [brother A], [rubber pig], the kids, Trae
and the whole situation

He needs a car to get to work. Could he borrow or
buy one of the Troopers?

[brother A] doesn't know I'm writing to you about this,
so if you can't or don't want to do anything, that's
100% ok.

Sometimes I get so frustrated because I can't do
anything about something I feel very strongly about.

Or I feel that if we start sending [brother A] money, it
will be this never-ending drain. I have no job, so
it's easy for me to say no, but [dad] feels very
conflicted about it.

But this would be a one shot deal for you and Sweetie,
if you decide it is something you could do. And
maybe it will be a way for you and [brother A] to start talking
again.

He's pretty much cut himself off from family and
friends, as you know.

Anyway, think about it. It was hard for me to
write this letter, but it's even harder seeing how
distant you and [brother A] are and the rift growing every day.
I love you both. Thanks, Mom


My reply:

I don't own any cars. They are Sweetie's. I will forward
this to Sweetie, but it is absolutely positively 100%
NOT my decision to make. I don't do anything with the
cars besides occasionally buy gasoline, Sweetie pays for
everything having to do with them. They are his
cars.

I am sorry as hell that [brother A] is in the situation he
is in...but really, you've said it: if I was in a
relationship with him, it would be a neverending grab
& gimme and nothing but drama and misery all the
way.
I don't have the time or energy to give to that. I'm
sorry if that hurts your feelings, but I can't live
like that. I have tried *very* hard to refrain from
saying anything negative about [brother A]/[rubber pig]/drama in
front of you, and that is as much as I can do.
===================================================
I posted in my LJ for sineater, with this comment:


I know this is just going to kick up another shit storm, or make Mom
mad at Sweetie for being so "unreasonable" and not giving [brother A] one of his
cars. ([brother A] *buy* one from Sweetie? WITH WHAT MONEY??? And it's not like
San Antonio has a shitty public transit system like Austin does. Oh
well. I didn't say either of those things to her, so I guess I didn't
do as bad as I could have. I am sure I could have managed something
more diplomatic, or just not replied. Dammit. I love all these
fucking no-win situations my loving family is forever sticking me
into.
============================
Mom's reply:

Date: Mon, 1 Aug 2005 07:42:55 -0700 (PDT)
From: mom
Subject: Re: do you have a car [brother A] could borrow for awhile?
To:me


No, it doen't hurt my feelings. A mom can always
hope. Thanks for forwarding the emil to Sweetie. Love, Mom