May. 4th, 2004

evile: (clutter)

    May 4, 2004

     

     

    http://www.geocities.com/k54ca/fullmoons.html

    • Full Flower Moon - May In most areas, flowers are abundant
    everywhere during this time. Thus, the name of this Moon. Other names
    include the Full Corn Planting Moon, or the Milk Moon.

    As with every FULL MOON, there can be either positive or negative
    influences set into motion, largely depending on individual
    circumstances and the personal actions undertaken by the Self. If we
    are moving through life with a Conscious Awareness, and learning to
    adapt to the variable Moon Phases, we can often see the fruits of our
    labors come to bear under the Full Moon Phase.

    On the other hand for those who prefer to move through life with
    little or no Higher Awareness, difficulties and conflicts in
    interpersonal relationships are apt to be the dominant theme playing
    out during this time. Since the Sun and Moon are dynamically opposed
    to each other under at this Phase, there is a greater tendency for
    many to feel pulled apart, or find themselves caught up in conflicts,
    disagreements, separations and all manner of difficulties and
    confrontations.

    At the Full Moon, we are more susceptible to the opposing forces
    between the Conscious and the Subconscious.

    FULL MOON IN SCORPIO

    This Full Moon emphasizes the FIXED WATER modality relating to Deep
    and intense emotional energy.This lunation is also a LUNAR ECLIPSE
    (http://www.mooncatsastrology.com/webpages/eclipses.htm) suggesting
    that the energies may be more intense than with a normal Full Moon.

    Scorpio represents : the Power of emotional experience and is
    associated with the highs and lows of life and the mysteries of Life
    and Death. As the lowly Scorpion, this sign is intensely protective
    and resentful, prone to the misapplication or abuse of power.
    Only when Scorpio energies have transcended the illusions of the
    mundane, does it then arise as the lofty eagle, capable of
    penetrating observation and awareness.

    According to the MOON ORACLE, the eclipse falls in Mansion 18,
    representing sacrifice and emotional extremes. In this particular
    Mansion, the passion of Pluto and the compassion of Neptune combine
    and thus there is the potential for Selfless Actions to be expressed.
    On the other hand, Pluto can be highly demanding, while Neptune can
    also confuse and disorient. Some may be required to make the ultimate
    sacrifice for the sake of a particular cause or another person. Under
    the pressures of this influence, Integrity must be upheld at all
    costs.

    ACCORDING TO SYBIL LEEK: 'Full Moons in Scorpio can unleash all
    manner of hate and discontent and this is a time when appropriate
    control of the emotional energies becomes most important. This is a
    time to think before you act, and try to put vengeful feelings at the
    back of your mind. Also, this is said to be a time when civil unrest
    and rioting is apt to occur.

    The Full Moon always represent a climactic time, and the expressions
    of power should be directed into positive and constructive channels,
    rather than into negative and destructive actions.

    In this instance, the lunar influence is polarized by the extreme
    security needs of the Sun in Taurus, and this polarity creates
    tension between one's personal resources, and the resources of
    others. So long as the Bullish aspect of the Sun in Taurus is not
    provoked he is content with his own possessions, and prefers comfort
    and domestic harmony. The intense emotional pull of the Moon in
    Scorpio however serves to disrupt environmental harmony and is more
    apt to seek ways to upset the status quo.through manipulation and
    abuses of power and influence.

    The Scorpio Full Moon can be particularly influential for those born
    under any of the Fixed Signs including Leo, Aquarius & Taurus.

    IF YOUR MOON AT BIRTH WAS IN TAURUS, this can be a time of increased
    tensions, restlessness and disequilibrium triggered by personal
    insecurities within, and perhaps repressed anger, while SCORPIO MOONs
    may be overly confident about their own power and influence over
    others.

evile: (clutter)

    May 4, 2004

     

     

    he posted this in his LJ yesterday & I dared to hope that he's
    leaving UB.
    ----
    Mon, May. 3rd, 2004, 04:05 am
    I feel like I just cut off a limb.

    what now?
    Current Mood: lost
    ------
    So I called him & he told me about the SCA weekend ("we" got stuck,
    not "sineater got stuck") and I asked about the LJ, and he said that "a
    friend" had told him that he meant nothing to them anymore.

    Well...suck.

    He asked about [brother A], I have no further info on that. July 10 is what
    I've been told as the wedding date, I have no invite, and I haven't
    heard anything else.

    Then he said he had to go because Arthur was twisting his arm & he'd
    call me tomorrow.

    Um...why?

    Oh well. If he calls me, great, if not great. And if he calls me
    while there's UB noise/coaching/whatever in the background, I will
    ring off as quick as I can.

ICQ W/A 5/4

May. 4th, 2004 12:29 pm
evile: (clutter)
 

2172ICQ w/A

Expand Messages

  • evilE

    May 4, 2004

     

    evile: Whee! I (hopefully) got registered for a class :)
    SkyeDS: which one?
    evile: Krav Maga. :) I've been wanting to take it for forever
    SkyeDS: what is it
    evile: Self Defense/martial art thingy
    evile: My 'backup' if the Krav Maga class is full or cancelled is a
    Western riding class.
    SkyeDS: they provide horse I take it
    evile: yup
    evile: (not buying a horse just to take a class, in any case)
    SkyeDS: lol how much are they charging
    evile: $128 for a 5 week session, 1 hour per class/week
    SkyeDS: that's not bad at all
    evile: I need to bring you the class schedule book. UT sent me 2.
    Both to my home addy. I think there's probably another lurking at the
    PO box
    SkyeDS: most lessons are $35 for half hour and $50 for full
    evile: The Krav Maga is $134, so I needed to find something close in
    price if the substitution took place & UT neglected to refund the
    difference.
    evile: I will be happy with whichever class I get.
    evile: Unfo, the Krav Maga (if I get it) happens the same night as
    party planning 101, so I did not want to mess things up by signing up
    for a class I wouldn't be able to get to if my first choice comes
    through.
    SkyeDS: :-/
    evile: s*it happens, I guess. If it's offered again in Fall, I may do
    it then.
    SkyeDS: methinks you could teach parties 101
    evile: As a former teacher, you know that there is a *world* of
    difference between knowing something and being able to teach it.
    Teaching is a whole different skill, which I don't think I possess.
    SkyeDS: teaching a class is actually a good way to learn more about
    what you already know
    evile: Trial by Fire, more like. My soapmaking class was a total
    disaster, so I can't imagine I'd do that to myself again anytime soon.
    evile: I feel bad about it, but OTOH, there's no shame in not being
    able to do everything perfectly...I'm human, I don't know everything.
    That's life.
    SkyeDS: nod
    evile: With that in mind, knowing its not a skill I possess, I am not
    going to put myself into a situation where the best possible outcome
    is failure, ya know?
    SkyeDS: true
    evile: That's the secret to appearing to be invincible & perfect--
    know what you can do & CANT do & never fuck up in front of people :P
    SkyeDS: except I'm always fucking up in front of people lol
    evile: hehe. It doesn't kill ya...I just hate to do it, personally. I
    don't have the ego strength to fuck up & deal with it gracefully.
    evile: I don't forgive myself for fucking up publically...which is
    stupid and useless.
    SkyeDS: me either
    evile: I'm actually terrified to take this class--I'm sure I'll be
    the most uncoordinated fatty in there. But...it needs to be done.
    evile: I've suspected for about 3 yrs now that one of the big reasons
    I stay fat is to keep people from hitting on me &/or outbulk the
    people I fear. So...step 1 towards having a better self-image is
    knowing I can kick anyone's ass, anytime, no matter how big they are
    or how big/small I am.
    SkyeDS: <medicate myself with food, simple.
    evile: I am sure I have multiple issues tied in to the fat thing, but
    hopefully once I knock out some of the bigger bugaboos, the smaller
    ones will fall into place.
    evile: No telling. It's been frustrating to intellectually identify
    problems and not be able to blast out the undermining emotions.
    SkyeDS: there is a book called It's not what you're eating it's
    what's eating you
    evile: I've probably read it.
    evile: I saw Dr. D on Friday, got my weight & BP. My weight is the
    same as a month ago, but I've gone from 120/70 to 100/60. Took my
    measurements Sunday & I've lost half an inch from my upper arms.
    Tennis has apparently been paying off in the cardio dept....
    SkyeDS: :)
    evile: All the lab work before surgery shows my cholesterol is good,
    liver, kidneys, etc. all good. So, even at 50-60 lbs overweight, I'm
    perfectly healthy. Which is good, but I still want to lose weight.
    SkyeDS: nods
    evile: I'm probably the target demographic for 'fat
    acceptance'...there is no reason on earth I should be unhappy with my
    body--it's 100% healthy. BUT...
    evile: Oh well. More tennis. Less cookie dough. We'll get there...
    SkyeDS: :)
    evile: If I wasn't going on vacation next week, I would *so* be
    playing hooky today..darn this work ethic!!
    SkyeDS: lol
    evile: I went out to feed the birds this a.m. and just felt so nice
    being out in the yard, *sigh*
    SkyeDS: beautiful day
    SkyeDS: had a great time last night at fighter practice
    evile: cool :)
    SkyeDS: rode easily half a dozen kids around and half that many
    adults.
    evile: how fun!
    SkyeDS: Raj was in "look at me I'm an Arabian mode"
    evile: heh.
    SkyeDS: gettingn some bites on my work at home paralegal stuff
    SkyeDS: if I can make more than $12 hour at it, I hate to do it
    SkyeDS: but gas is getting bad
    evile: yeah...
    evile: Sweetie says he's sending off for his grease tank next month so he
    can convert the vanagon to biodiesel/greasel
    SkyeDS: cool
    evile: I'll believe it when I see it, but it would be cool...
    evile: We are going on a year for getting rid of the blue trooper (2
    months is what he said)
    SkyeDS: have heard that before lol
    evile: yup
    evile: There are causes & effects in all things, even relationships.
    I understand this, maybe eventually Sweetie will as well....
    evile: I might not have much room to talk--my work room has been
    consistently filthy & unusable for an entire year now. ...but that's
    just me fucking myself, not me making a promise to someone else and
    fucking them.
    SkyeDS: nofd
    SkyeDS: err nods
    evile: sineater asked me about [brother A]'s wedding plans...I don't have
    anything except the date. July 10. I would have thought some kind of
    invite should have gone out by now...but I haven't seen or heard
    anything.
    SkyeDS: I thought it as postponed
    evile: Like I said, I haven't seen or heard anything from anyone.
    Some night when I have 4 hours to spare, I'll call down to San
    Antonio & listen to [brother A] & The Rubber Pig talk at me & hopefully sift some
    useful info out of it.
    evile: I hate being on the phone...the only people I really like
    talking to on the phone are the people I will not see or hear from
    any other way (Mom, [sister H], G/stepdad, J-Law, Dee)...and even with them I
    don't call that often.
    SkyeDS: nods
    evile: Oh well, maybe I'll call [brother A] this weekend, when I've got some
    time.
    evile: I went ahead and chose the riding class that wouldn't
    interfere with the date I thought was the wedding date...so I'm
    covered, either way :P
    SkyeDS: :)
    SkyeDS: need to check my calendar 2
    SkyeDS: not positive but I think there's something goin that weekend
    SkyeDS: but no reason sineater has to go with me
    SkyeDS: or me with him
    evile: yup.
    evile: Keep me posted, if anybody needs a ride to the wedding or
    whatever.
    SkyeDS: if it goes forward and the date clashes could you take sineater?
    SkyeDS: if I like dropped him off at your place before I left?
    evile: absolutely. No problem. We have the guest room, so depending
    on time/logistics, he could crash here, too.
    SkyeDS: I think that's the weekend of Coronation
    evile: aha
    SkyeDS: yep it is.
    SkyeDS: I suppose I'm evil for wanting to go to coronation instead of
    to a wedding where I don't know the bride.
    evile: nope. If I could get away with it, I wouldn't go either.
    evile: But whatever...I will be there if [brother A] wants me to be.
    SkyeDS: [brother A] is your family
    SkyeDS: I consider [brother A] family too, but I am an outlaw inlaw
    evile: Well, you & [brother A] aren't close & never were. sineater & [brother A] were
    at one point...
    SkyeDS: he has always been kind to me
    SkyeDS: sineater isn't easy to be close to.
    evile: I think you are to [brother A] as I am to...Stephanie, Maybe. We see
    each other at family stuff, but it wasn't important to her for me to
    be at her wedding, or to know when she had her kid(s?), etc.
    evile: (Stephanie, sineater's cousin, not Stephanie my deaf girlfriend)
    evile: There's no active dislike there, we enjoy each other's company
    when we see each other, but we don't have a personal connection
    beyond that of step/marriage
    SkyeDS: nope
    SkyeDS: and I don't think [brother A] will get his feelings hurt if I'm not
    there.
    evile: heh I was just about to say that :)
    SkyeDS: besides, if I were there more likely than not I'd just put my
    foot in it anyway
    evile: No tellin. I don't imagine anybody else will get a word in
    edgewise, maybe the officiant. It'll be The Rubber Pig center stage and we get
    to be the wordless audience.
    evile: She says her whole family is talky like she is. So ...we'll
    see, I guess.
    evile: Mom will likely wade right in and have a great time. Aunt L,
    Uncle B, and I will probably hide in a corner, twitching.
    evile: G/stepdad, too :P
    SkyeDS: lol
    evile: Mom was always great with the [V family]--they are like "My Big
    Fat Transylvanian Wedding" 24/7.
    SkyeDS: rofl
    evile: Mom fits in socially anywhere she goes...she's very adept. I
    can be...but it's not a consistent ability.
    SkyeDS: I try very hard, I don't always succeed
    evile: That may be another innate-to-some talent that is tricky to
    learn...
    evile: I'm at Quota + 20 with 2 hours until quitting time. Hopefully
    that will snap the boss people out of their diaper act (ie: Get them
    OFF MY ASS!!!)
    SkyeDS: I would think so!
    evile: thinking...not a good thing to do around here. Just gets ya in
    trouble.
    SkyeDS: lol
    evile: The stick is not big enough to do anything besides annoy me
    and the carrot is long gone.
    SkyeDS: rofl! eloquently put
    evile: *sigh* Oh well. It beats being one of our customers, I guess.
    SkyeDS: indeed
    evile: Now that the economy is getting better, I won't feel so guilty
    about bitching about work.
    SkyeDS: hope sineater goes back to dell or somewhere soon
    evile: That would be good.
    evile: Oh ick. p0rn as someone's LJ icon. ...nice.
    SkyeDS: ew
    SkyeDS: as paid for gas yesterday looked up and big nearly porn
    banner
    evile: yuck.
    SkyeDS: thought ya know, that's a lawsuit in the making if you have
    female employees
    evile: there are LJ communities devoted to such photos, but I darn
    sure don't look at them while at work! And, really, I want to
    _choose_ to see it, not have it shoved in my face, no m atter where I
    am.
    evile: despite the laws, most employees (esp at low paying gigs)
    don't know their rights in the workplace.
    SkyeDS: nods
    evile: I get frustrated when people write in an appeal after being
    denied, and it's obvious they have a case, but they're not savvy
    enough to present it properly.
    SkyeDS: no one to refer them to for help...?
    evile: Not that I know of. Nobody is supposed to discuss merits
    except the hearing officers. I'd get in big trouble if I gave someone
    advice on what to say or how to say it.
    SkyeDS: :(
    evile: yeah...it sucks. But, theoretically, everyone has the same
    access to public education & information, so it isn't my fault if
    they didn't take advantage of their opportunities & ended up dirt-
    ignorant working at 7-11.

  •  

 

2173Re: ICQ w/A

Expand Messages

  •  

     

    evilE

    May 4, 2004

     

     

    evile: It's so nice out! I really wanna play hooky...darn this work
    ethic. darn it!!
    SkyeDS: lol
    evile: I have phone duty tomorrow, so I'll get to leave an hour
    early. That will be almost as good as playing hooky...
    evile: Tomorrow's poly dinner too :) Hopefully phone duty will be
    nice so I won't be in a rotten mood after work.
    SkyeDS: :)
    evile: Would it be OK for me to bring you the UT schedule book after
    work today, or would it be better some other time?
    SkyeDS: I'll be here till 6 tonight
    evile: Ok if I swing by 'round 4:30ish? I won't keep you, I'll just
    drop & run ...
    SkyeDS: surely :)
    evile: cool :)
    evile: AWW! Baybeeee Racoooons! SOCUTE!!! They were on a web page
    showing ugly (human) babies. I can't believe anybody thinks these
    little guys are ugly!
    http://www.nmt.edu/~erenee/newborn_raccoons_animalcapture.JPG
    evile: here are the rest of 'em. NASTY ugly human dumplings:
    http://www.nmt.edu/~erenee/uglybabies1.html
    SkyeDS: will wait till boss is gone before I go lookin
    evile: OK
    evile: I think I'm finally beginning to agree with others' opinions
    on the tone of the CF community. In general, we are a pretty hateful
    bunch. I unsubbed from the LJ CF community. Didn't want to read it
    anymore. Too ugly.
    SkyeDS: <is child free (according to those with human children).
    evile: well, you could call yourself 'childless' and thus imply that
    there was a palpable *lack* rather than "gloat" about it by using the
    world 'free'...Or at least that's the way I think the logic goes...
    evile: At any rate, I am to the point where I don't have enough time
    & energy for the people & things I _love_, so I am certainly not
    going to waste any of it on things I don't like...
    SkyeDS: my feelings too. too old fat and married.
    evile: No polite person should carry the conversation past "do you
    have kids?" anyway. If someone does, I can truthfully say "I can't
    get pregnant" :P

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