2019scopes.

 

Mar. 15, 2004

 

 

Taurus

Horoscope (by Astrocenter.com)
Today, dear Taurus, you may be feeling a bit out of sorts. You are
not sick, just exhausted from the efforts you have been putting in at
work lately. This is a sure sign of stress, and an indicator that you
are due a true day off - from chores, personal projects, the works!
Forget the workload you had planned for the day. If you rest and
relax everything not finished today will be accomplished in no time
tomorrow. So take the day off - you need it!

---
so amusing. More mandatory OT for the next 2 weeks at work. yay.

------
Gemini

Horoscope (by Astrocenter.com)
Today is a domestic sort of day. You have been neglecting your home a
little recently and now would be a good time to make up for it. Clear
out all the clutter and get organized. If you're ambitious, you might
even want to try a little cooking. After all, why have you been
saving magazine recipes all the time? You will enjoy the result of
getting things in order and allow yourself the pleasures of a
positive day.
------------
So ironic, spent the weekend cleaning my neglected home. Sweetie got the
table cleared off. such a help.
-------------
evilE
Sun Sign: Taurus
Rising Sign: Sagittarius

Try to ignore all the social invitations that come your way today.
You need some time off, evilE. Spend the day in bed with a good book,
or playing quietly with your children. Trust your sense that your
body needs to rest and your mind needs to recharge. This one day of
rest will be all you need to face the coming days with renewed vigor
and enthusiasm.

Your Rising Sign
Success in your world of relationships is imminent. Your social charm
and sense of humor are apt to win over just about anyone you meet.
Feel free to milk these qualities for all they are worth. Don't be
surprised if someone whose background is very different from yours
walks into your life. Today's trine between Venus and Jupiter is
suggesting that the weather is right for love and romance.

Daily Numeroscope - March 15, 2004
Life Path Number: 6
Welcome to a day that is rich in your own natural essence, evilE. As
a Six, your primary focus, no matter what you're doing, is likely to
be family. This is one of the greatest contributions you bring. While
the definition of family has been modified and has shifted in some
regards, the same basic elements are essential for success. You will
have an instinct about this like no one else. Whatever you do, trust
your gut feelings when it comes to your family and home. You're apt
to be right on the mark.
---
my instincts say 'ditch it'. My instincts say buy Sweetie out and be done
with him.

 

•  

March 15, icq w/A

2021icq w/A

Mar. 15, 2004

 

 

evile: can't believe it's Monday again! How was your weekend?
SkyeDS: noneventful
evile: I got some housecleaning done. Sweetie cleaned off the dining room
table. The house is more presentable, but by no means company-
quality. Maybe Ok for family...
SkyeDS: is probably better than it was anyway?
SkyeDS: I walked property
SkyeDS: realized half my property is across a creek - fencing problems
SkyeDS: and may be zoned commercial which I'll have to get changed
evile: Not by much. But a little.
I didn't do anything at all in the way of exercise unless you count
scrubbing the tub
SkyeDS: scrubbing = exercise.
evile: Ok, I'll take it :)
evile: Zoning can change how you're taxed & stuff, right? Hopefully
you can get your taxes cheaper.
SkyeDS: doctor says 8 to 12 weeks with collar
evile: bummer!!
SkyeDS: commercial is seldom cheaper
SkyeDS: why I need to get it changed
evile: yup. Lynn & Bob got a wildlife exemption on their land, which
was apparently a huge savings.
SkyeDS: I need to get it zone changed
SkyeDS: then get it all fenced
SkyeDS: and drag whomever was haying it before, in front of the
County to get it ag exempt
evile: that would be good.
SkyeDS: and now I will have to have two fences instead of one
SkyeDS: I am NOT fencing across a creek
evile: nope.
evile: I finally got to price Vegas for XMas :) For the longest time,
it was only letting people book through August.
SkyeDS: :)
evile: My IRS refund will cover it, so as soon as the IRS sends me
that puppy, I'm booking it :)
SkyeDS: when I'm due refunds I always efile and do direct deposit
SkyeDS: some years I've filed on Feb 2 and had the money by Feb 9
evile: (nagging myself about upcoming medical costs & lease return
fees...but I'm still going to vegas)
evile: As I told my accountant: "I don't want the IRS to have my bank
account numbers unless they get a court order first"
evile: paranoid=me
SkyeDS: actually most banks will hand them over without a court order
SkyeDS: and let the IRS do all sorts of nastiness w/o a C.O. for that
matter
SkyeDS: liens, freeze your assets, etc
evile: I know. I just like to pretend like I dont' live in a
totalitarian fascist state.
SkyeDS: found out today the IRS can access your medical records
without your consent
evile: nice.
SkyeDS: sun's out :)
SkyeDS: I always want it to rain at home and not at work
evile: I probably won't see the sun today. More mandatory OT from the
big boss.
SkyeDS: good for the paycheck I guess
evile: yup.
evile: Bad for anything I want to do after work. I'll probably be too
wiped out to attend this week's poly dinner :(
SkyeDS: :(
SkyeDS: I'm getting a lot of little nibbles on the ranch business
evile: But I do need some positive human contact so maybe I will drag
myself out anyway
evile: awesome :) It would be such a win-win for you.
SkyeDS: answered an email about how far away we are from Goliad
today, and got a yahoo IM.
evile: cool!
SkyeDS: I need to examine where else to advertise, like in Taylor
paper, Cameron paper, etc.
SkyeDS: although I doubt Austin woudl do me anygood, too far away
evile: You never know. Marketing is a strange beast.
SkyeDS: Hugh's daughter Courtney, and neighbors Connie and Wayne
went to Excalibur this weekend
SkyeDS: said they had good times but it was muddy so d idn't stay long
SkyeDS: I still don't think I'm missing much
evile: I went to a "Southern Living at Home" thing yesterday. Not as
agonizing as pampered chef, but not really my cup o tea. Very clever
& effective way to sell, though.

Erin, Marca & Andy went to Excalibur Sunday. I didn't get done with
the SL thing early enough to be able to meet them out there.
SkyeDS: there's a wine and chef thing coming at the four seasons
soon, a benefit I think
evile: cool :)
evile: I need to go somewhere this weekend. Next weekend too. My car
is going byebye sometime around the end of March/beginning of April.
I finally convinced B of A to send someone to get it
SkyeDS: :)
evile: I'm paying enough end of lease fees & such, they should have
been more accomodating than they were, but I was a bitch and I got my
way after more hassle than I should have had...but the important part
is I got my way!
SkyeDS: I'm going to keep the little black truck going as long as
it's still got blue book value and then I'm going to look at leasing
or buying a used Prius hybrid
evile: yup. That would be handy.
SkyeDS: I have come to the conclusion that I really do need a trailer
with living quarters
SkyeDS: as opposed to a van w/ lq
SkyeDS: or a cabover
evile: yup.
SkyeDS: I don't want to haul LQ around with me all the time
SkyeDS: but I do need them
SkyeDS: so I don't have to deal with "where am I going to stay"
SkyeDS: "is it too cold for Arthur to camp"
evile: exactly.
SkyeDS: that would be ideal
SkyeDS: a little hybrid and a big one ton dually
SkyeDS: and a four horse trailer w/ oq
SkyeDS: err lq
evile: yup
SkyeDS: and then we'll go lots of camping at PB :)
evile: I still haven't been out there.
SkyeDS: I guess I might better make what trips I can while I can too
SkyeDS: overnight layups are going to keep me home on weekends on
short notice
evile: yeah.
evile: I had thought about that.
evile: I'm not that sad about spending no waking time at home for the
next couple weeks. Sweetie was a PITA all weekend. God forbid that he had
to clean house...urgh. His trick is to act assy and then I get mad
and send him away so he doesn't have to work. I didn't send him away.
SkyeDS: Bill Cosby calls that Strategic Ignorance
SkyeDS: a Dad trait
evile: I mean, god damn. Nobody LIKES to clean house. But we are
adults and nobody is this house is mommy/cuntslave. So...let's just
get the shit done and go on to what we like doing.
SkyeDS: sineater and sonar0m do a better job when they work together than
either of them working alone
evile: I actually prefer to do housework in an empty house. But oh
well.
SkyeDS: we didin't work on inside house we worked on outside trash
this weekend
evile: Sunday turned out nicer than expected. I wish I'd spent more
of it outside.
SkyeDS: it wasn't pretty but it was nice
evile: The weather guy said rain all day Sun. It was humid & partly
cloudy. No rain.
SkyeDS: I got little drops infrequently while I was out walking, it
was nice
SkyeDS: didn't even have to wipe glasses
evile: that's the only thing I don't like about walking in the rain--
spotty glasses.
evile: I'm still playing the 20-21st by ear, depending on what Jeanne
& Mark want to do (Sweetie's Sister & BIL)
SkyeDS: /me nods
evile: *sigh* I love playng hostess ususally. It should be fun.
SkyeDS: and no one does it better than y ou either, specially parties
evile: heh. thanks :)
SkyeDS: struth
evile: :)
evile: I like Sweetie's sister & BIL. Hopefully he won't act like an ass
while they're visiting. He is usually better & more helpful when
there's other people in the house.
SkyeDS: they do that on purpose
SkyeDS: to make us look bad
evile: Or just make themselves look better, maybe.
SkyeDS: at our expense
evile: *shrug* Jeanne grew up with Sweetie. She knows exactly how
industrious he is when it comes to housework.
SkyeDS: LOL point
SkyeDS: [J- sineater's mom] called just after 10 pm last night
SkyeDS: she always calls at 10 or 11
SkyeDS: and always on a worknight
evile: And bottom line, I'd rather have him being helpful and sweet
in front o fpeople so I don't have to be ugly in front of people to
get him to help me.
evile: [J-] is not very considerate.
SkyeDS: sineater was sick all weekend too, and already asleep
evile: Poor puppy!
SkyeDS: he told her without me requesting it that she needed to stop
calling so late on worknights
evile: good for him.
SkyeDS: I feel like a heel though every time I get annoyed with her
SkyeDS: because she is in a lot of pain, and I probably can't begin
to imagine
evile: yeah. But...that doesn't give her the right to trespass other
people's boundaries.
SkyeDS: I don't think she remembers what she's doing
evile: Just think of it as training a very sweet but stupid puppy.
Gently remind every time she jumps on the couch, etc. No big anger,
just establish the boundary and gently remind every time she crosses
it.
SkyeDS: good point
evile: And, as with puppy, you can't say 'it's OK today" and have it
be NOT OK tomorrow. It's not OK, it's never OK, and it will never BE
OK. Gently, respectfully, lovingly. But always consistently.
SkyeDS: it may be hard for him to be consistent with her, specially
when he's sick
evile: yeah. And as you know, that's when children/puppies test the
boundaries the most.
SkyeDS: well, he's not going to let her use me to get around
boundaries anymore, so that's good
evile: yup.
evile: It is very easy to blame you for when sineater seems to fall down
on the job re: keeping in touch, spending time, etc. But he's a
grownup man, and if things are important to him, he will make time
for them. Easier to be upset with you than with sineater....
SkyeDS: I think she thinks t hat I control reality
SkyeDS: so whatever answer he gives her must come from me
SkyeDS: so to change it, she appeals to me
evile: That's really so unfair to you...and just unfortunate all the
way around.
SkyeDS: well I am in charge of logistics a lot of the time
SkyeDS: but I'm not a dictator, malignant benevolent or otherwise
evile: yup
SkyeDS: actually what my job is, more often than not, is to wave the
magic wand to try to make whatever everyone else around me wants
happen
SkyeDS: against stiff odds sometimes
SkyeDS: but then if the wand doesn't work, it's my fault
evile: ugh.
SkyeDS: and I know t hat I'm extremely susceptible to being made to
feel like an awful person so I need thicker skin
SkyeDS: which I'm working on
evile: good fo r you.
SkyeDS: well ya know, that button, like most buttons can be pushed
too hard too fast which then eventually makes me angry
evile: exactly.
SkyeDS: when someone sees behavior that is out of context, and they
don't know it's out of context, they can interpret it badly
evile: sure.
SkyeDS: and if it keeps happening, then erroneous conclusions become
further entrenched
SkyeDS: even though it wouldn't hold up in a court of law, which
would demand that it be in context, and not circumstantial
SkyeDS: most people don't operate that way
evile: one of The 4 Agreements is "never assume"...people should
practice that one more.
SkyeDS: what I"m getting at is, I am aware that taken out of context
by someone who doesn't know the whole story, I can see where [J - sineater's mom/skye's MIL]
came to some of her conclusions
SkyeDS: (and of course....not just [J])
evile: yup.
evile: But one would hope that if there was a misunderstanding,
someone would speak up & try to clear it.. either [J] clarifying
her assumptions, or you &/or sineater saying "hey, this is how it is"
SkyeDS: in this instance, we've both told her dozens of times now
that when we're living on $3000 a month and have $3800 worth of
monthly expenses, that there can't be a trip to Houston unless
someone else pays for it, I don't know
SkyeDS: she probably thinks that he's just saying that because I told
him to.
SkyeDS: but ya know, math is not a matter of opinion, math is fact.
evile: exactly.
SkyeDS: I guess she could think I was lying about the math, or that
it could go on credit or whatever.
SkyeDS: /me shrugs
SkyeDS: we're already living on my credit cards.
evile: No point in racking up debts you don't need to have, on top of
what you need just to live.
SkyeDS: exactly the primary reason why I didn't go to midreign
SkyeDS: or any where else this weekend for that matter
evile: It happens. :(
SkyeDS: I've got too much to do, both with time and money
SkyeDS: I don't even want to go into what kind of fencing problems I
find that I now have.
SkyeDS: and the taxing situations, yes plural.
evile: yup.
SkyeDS: so, if she wants him, she can mail the money, paypal it, I
don't care, but she can pay for it, and she can have him when he can
be spared, and not before
evile: yup
SkyeDS: all three of us worked our asses off all weekend, even though
both sineater and I felt like shit (I was attached to the heating pad all
weekend, despite the prescription muscle relaxant)
evile: yuck.
SkyeDS: I had to turn down the last request Gramma made to see me by
myself for a week, many months ago.
evile: that's too bad :(
SkyeDS: I told Mom I would be happy to have her and Gramma and Dad
too (he just had cataract surgery) this week for spring break.
evile: wow...
SkyeDS: and of course, would be perfectly happy to have [J] come
visit (but she wants him in Houston because she wants help cleaning
closets)
evile: aha.
SkyeDS: she makes him cry.
SkyeDS: I hold him and pet him and support him but I can't make her
stop making him cry.
evile: Unfo, that's between sineater & his mom...
SkyeDS: I know.
evile: You've made him cry. I've made him cry. he cries...that's sad,
but maybe healing, too?
SkyeDS: but contrary to some popular opinions, I still love him and
it hurts me to see him cry.
evile: sure.
SkyeDS: I hope things improve after surgery
SkyeDS: if she has it, big if at this point or so I surmise
evile: But it happens. If you're the cause, you can say you're sorry
& try to do better...but when someone else does it...you just have to
be there if he needs ya....
SkyeDS: Kelly is in same position with her mother and father in law
(who raised her and she loves like a father)
evile: [J] is not a healthy person & never has been. I hope she
gets to feeling better, but I don't think it'll ever happen for long.
SkyeDS: she wants sineater to watch Passion with her
SkyeDS: I suggested somewhat out of amusement that he agree if she
agreed to watch Last Temptation with him
SkyeDS: (which isn't even blasphemous btw)
evile: ugh.
SkyeDS: and he said that had already occurred to him.
evile: heh.
SkyeDS: LTOC was a good movie, even from a believer's standpoint
evile: never saw it. Just read the book & listened to the sountrack
SkyeDS: /me saw the movie right after I had just been baptized matter
of fact
evile: wow
SkyeDS: the soundtrack rocks, I bought it for sineater. Peter Gabriel.
evile: I was working in bookstop, my friend/coworker Pam played it a
lot in the store.
SkyeDS: I like it for ritual use.
SkyeDS: as well as just because listening.
SkyeDS: I wonder if she isn't afraid of dying, regardless of what the
doctors have told her about the unlikelihood from this kind of
surgery, on top of possibly losing her singing voice.
SkyeDS: sineater had a work friend die this weekend
evile: sad.
SkyeDS: while I was wrangling with tax issues, I managed to forget
Gramma's 81st birthday, not a smooth move, exlax.
evile: ooh...not good!
evile: J-Law's was Sunday. I called her & we talked for about 2 hours.
I sent her a few things from her amazon.com wishlist (they won't get
there until midweek--oops!)
SkyeDS: those wishlists are about handy
evile: indeed
SkyeDS: well whaddya know
SkyeDS: Ms. pitbull for a son and office manager sent the whole thing
evile: awesome :)
SkyeDS: I expected they would send the bare minimum, so t his is a
pleasant surprise
evile: very :)

2023Re: icq w/A

 

Mar. 15, 2004

 

 

evile: grapevine market has friday evening tastings as well as
Saturdays. That's new :)
SkyeDS: good times
SkyeDS: I think I may go to an SBA SCORE meeting some Saturday
evile: That would be cool.
SkyeDS: now that I'm involved with Hugh's SBA process no reason not
to use it to my own advantage too
SkyeDS: he lectures for SCORE too.
evile: exactly. The more networking you can do, the better.
SkyeDS: a small business loan would help carry the next three months
until the property tax situation is straightened up, which is one of
my bigger problems
evile: There's a monthly(?) breakfast that gets posted in the
Chronicle, but of course it's during the work week & I can never go.
evile: This is true.
evile: Just got an invite to Terriblelynne's bead night. I hate mandatory
OT....*grumble*
SkyeDS: bet Terri needs a social secretary too.
evile: yeah. I got to see her for a bit on Sunday. That was nice.
I've had a productive day, despite the word 'mandatory' which usually
turns me into a very stubborn unproductive lump.
SkyeDS: :)
evile: My astrological sign might as well be the donkey rather than
the bull...I will work my ass off, assuming it's MY idea (or I think
it is)...but if someone else tries to force me, forget it.
SkyeDS: lol
evile: I *did* tell my boss last week that I'd be working OT, to try
and make up for the 3 days in April I'm going to miss for surgery &
prep.
SkyeDS: does mandatory count tioward that?
evile: I've got plenty of sick & vacation leave to cover it, but
we're behind and I felt bad about leaving her hanging like that.
evile: wonder if Dr. D. is as tired of knocking me out and digging in
my crotch as I am of having it done? I wish we could have done it all
in one trip.
evile: I t hink he made it a hassle just so I'd give up. He don't
know me too well.
SkyeDS: lol
SkyeDS: kind of like telling me no horseback riding or sex for two
weeks
evile: I get tired of having to fight and fuss fo r things I should
just be able to ask politely and receive. But I will fuss and fight
when I have to.
SkyeDS: I generally am so unpleasant when I am forced to fuss and
fight that most people don't make the same mistake twice.
evile: Yup. I hate to be that way...but if it's the only way to take
care of things, so be it.
SkyeDS: /me nods
SkyeDS: your final round time
evile: Not today, I'm here til 6. But I do need to spend a bunch of
time at the photocopy machine.
evile: So I should sign off and go fight with the machinery.
SkyeDS: nods
evile: hasta manyana
SkyeDS: hasta
evile: *hugs*
SkyeDS: :)

2022My fairy tale

Mar. 15, 2004

 

 

http://www.livejournal.com/users/jimmywitz/

Sunday, March 14th, 2004
5:37 pm Retreat
This weekend, i went on a spiritual retreat with my beloved alkie
friends from the Austin Recovery Allumni Association which my friend
Mike P. and i started some four and a half years ago.
It was a wonderful reatreat, with the whole emphasis this weekend
being on the "spiritual awakening" that is the start of the recovery
process.

We read a beautiful story written in the 2nd or 3rd century by one of
the Gnostics, an early Christian sect, that is generally regrarded as
a "Satanic, anti-Jesus" cult today, because of it's rejection of the
idea that Jesus was NOT a man. The Gnostics believed that he WAS a
man, who showed us the way, and that any one of us can take the same
path if we want to. And that we didn't need any pastors, popes or
church "elders" to talk to God for us, but that we could make that
conscious contact our selves, any time we chose to. Of course, it was
considered a heresy, and the Gnostics were persecuted out of
existance.

Anyway, this was a story , a fairy story , about a boy who leaves his
father quest on a mission to find the "pearl of greatest price" and
forgets his purpose and falls into a sleep in a foreign land, until a
message from His Father wakes him up, and he completes the quest and
returns home.

So we then had to write our own "fairy story" about our own life. We
had to start with:
"Once upon a time there was a ......... who was completely whole"
Then in the middle we had to write
"And on the way...... things happened"
And we had to end with:
"And so, to this day..."
This is the story i wrote......

Once upon a time, there was a little boy who came into the world
whole. He was the third of two children. No one kinew what had
happened to the second child. The first was perfect, but the third
one, who was not expected, was a bitter disappointment.
He tried so hard to be that second child, the one his parents had
really wanted, but it seemed that the harder he tried, the more
disappointed his parents became. He was sure he was really not his
perants child.
along the way, some strange things happened.
He wondered why his parents were so sad and disapointed, and one day,
he looked into the muddy, swirling waters of the sotrm filled river
and saw his reflection for the first time. and then, he saw what his
parents saw... his ugliness... and he knew then why his parents were
so sad.
He left his home and wandered the world. He began to wear masks to
hide his ugliness, but somehow, people could always manage to see his
ugliness underneath. And they would laugh at him, and shun him.
He became more and more lonely, hiding himself awa y in dark caves
where no one could see him, and he ventured out only at night as he
was scared of the light, because it showed his ugliness.
Then one day, in his despair and lonliness, he just lay donw, and
waited to die.
And as he waited a prince and a princess came riding by his dark
cave. And they called out:
"We are looking for our lost little brother"
"He is not here" shouted back the boy "Go away"
Three times they called out to him, and three times the boy told them
to go away.
But on the third time, they dismounted from their horses and went
into the cave, and saw the boy, lying in the dark at the back of the
cave.
"Yes, this is our lost little brother" they said," and his Father,
The King is lonely without him, and has asked us to bring him home if
we find him."
And they stooped down and picked up the boy, who was now near death,
and brought him back to the King's palace and nursed him back to
health.
But the boy still felt ugly and still tried to wear his masks.
So one day, the prince and princess who had found him took him to a
quiet, still, clear stream near the palace and showed the boy his
real reflection.
And the boy saw the reflection of himself as he truly was for the
first time... and he saw that he was beautfiul.
And so, to this day...
The boy doesn't have to wear his masks any more to hide his face. He
goes into many dark caves with his brother and sister, looking for
any more of his lost brothers and sisters who might also be hiding
there.
And he never, ever, looks at his reflection in stormy muddy waters."


I think this is everyone's story.. It certainly is mine.
=================

Once upon a time there was a little girl who was completely whole.
She was cursed from birth with a mysterious power. Everything and
everyone she loved or cared about would be destroyed. Her parents'
marriage crumbled to dust before her 5th birthday. Her scout troop
disbanded. Every time she started at a new school and started to get
comfortable and make friends, things would dissolve and she'd find
herself at a new school trying to fit in again. She grew to be a
woman. And on the way...... things happened--the PDAP group, the TEP
house, RHPS casts coalesced and exploded again. As she grew to
maturity, she finally recognized this power for what it was and tried
very hard to love and care about things that needed to be destroyed:
Bureaucracy, the Republican Party, child abuse..but it never worked.
Her mysterious power always seemed to know what she cared about for
true and what she was only pretending to love for the sake of
destroying it.

And so, to this day, she tries very hard not to love or care about
anyone or anything and she never joins groups because she doesn't
want them to end badly.

She wonders what would happen if she loved or cared about herself and
maybe thinks that would be the key to a tidy, dignified ending.