2022My fairy tale

[evile]

Mar. 15, 2004

 

 

http://www.livejournal.com/users/jimmywitz/

Sunday, March 14th, 2004
5:37 pm Retreat
This weekend, i went on a spiritual retreat with my beloved alkie
friends from the Austin Recovery Allumni Association which my friend
Mike P. and i started some four and a half years ago.
It was a wonderful reatreat, with the whole emphasis this weekend
being on the "spiritual awakening" that is the start of the recovery
process.

We read a beautiful story written in the 2nd or 3rd century by one of
the Gnostics, an early Christian sect, that is generally regrarded as
a "Satanic, anti-Jesus" cult today, because of it's rejection of the
idea that Jesus was NOT a man. The Gnostics believed that he WAS a
man, who showed us the way, and that any one of us can take the same
path if we want to. And that we didn't need any pastors, popes or
church "elders" to talk to God for us, but that we could make that
conscious contact our selves, any time we chose to. Of course, it was
considered a heresy, and the Gnostics were persecuted out of
existance.

Anyway, this was a story , a fairy story , about a boy who leaves his
father quest on a mission to find the "pearl of greatest price" and
forgets his purpose and falls into a sleep in a foreign land, until a
message from His Father wakes him up, and he completes the quest and
returns home.

So we then had to write our own "fairy story" about our own life. We
had to start with:
"Once upon a time there was a ......... who was completely whole"
Then in the middle we had to write
"And on the way...... things happened"
And we had to end with:
"And so, to this day..."
This is the story i wrote......

Once upon a time, there was a little boy who came into the world
whole. He was the third of two children. No one kinew what had
happened to the second child. The first was perfect, but the third
one, who was not expected, was a bitter disappointment.
He tried so hard to be that second child, the one his parents had
really wanted, but it seemed that the harder he tried, the more
disappointed his parents became. He was sure he was really not his
perants child.
along the way, some strange things happened.
He wondered why his parents were so sad and disapointed, and one day,
he looked into the muddy, swirling waters of the sotrm filled river
and saw his reflection for the first time. and then, he saw what his
parents saw... his ugliness... and he knew then why his parents were
so sad.
He left his home and wandered the world. He began to wear masks to
hide his ugliness, but somehow, people could always manage to see his
ugliness underneath. And they would laugh at him, and shun him.
He became more and more lonely, hiding himself awa y in dark caves
where no one could see him, and he ventured out only at night as he
was scared of the light, because it showed his ugliness.
Then one day, in his despair and lonliness, he just lay donw, and
waited to die.
And as he waited a prince and a princess came riding by his dark
cave. And they called out:
"We are looking for our lost little brother"
"He is not here" shouted back the boy "Go away"
Three times they called out to him, and three times the boy told them
to go away.
But on the third time, they dismounted from their horses and went
into the cave, and saw the boy, lying in the dark at the back of the
cave.
"Yes, this is our lost little brother" they said," and his Father,
The King is lonely without him, and has asked us to bring him home if
we find him."
And they stooped down and picked up the boy, who was now near death,
and brought him back to the King's palace and nursed him back to
health.
But the boy still felt ugly and still tried to wear his masks.
So one day, the prince and princess who had found him took him to a
quiet, still, clear stream near the palace and showed the boy his
real reflection.
And the boy saw the reflection of himself as he truly was for the
first time... and he saw that he was beautfiul.
And so, to this day...
The boy doesn't have to wear his masks any more to hide his face. He
goes into many dark caves with his brother and sister, looking for
any more of his lost brothers and sisters who might also be hiding
there.
And he never, ever, looks at his reflection in stormy muddy waters."


I think this is everyone's story.. It certainly is mine.
=================

Once upon a time there was a little girl who was completely whole.
She was cursed from birth with a mysterious power. Everything and
everyone she loved or cared about would be destroyed. Her parents'
marriage crumbled to dust before her 5th birthday. Her scout troop
disbanded. Every time she started at a new school and started to get
comfortable and make friends, things would dissolve and she'd find
herself at a new school trying to fit in again. She grew to be a
woman. And on the way...... things happened--the PDAP group, the TEP
house, RHPS casts coalesced and exploded again. As she grew to
maturity, she finally recognized this power for what it was and tried
very hard to love and care about things that needed to be destroyed:
Bureaucracy, the Republican Party, child abuse..but it never worked.
Her mysterious power always seemed to know what she cared about for
true and what she was only pretending to love for the sake of
destroying it.

And so, to this day, she tries very hard not to love or care about
anyone or anything and she never joins groups because she doesn't
want them to end badly.

She wonders what would happen if she loved or cared about herself and
maybe thinks that would be the key to a tidy, dignified ending.