evile: crap. My launchcast crashed all my internet stuff.
evile: sorry 'bout that.
SkyeDS: np
evile: when it works, it's great.
evile: "the program is not responding. do you want to close"?
yes, but ONLY launchast, not ICQ and everything that IS working!!
Dammit.
SkyeDS: <hands you choice of whip, frying pan, bazooka>
evile: hee. a magnet & a screwdriver ought to do nicely.
SkyeDS: <hands said objects over with alacrity>
evile: heh. So very tempting...
evile: I guess dinner with Rubber_pig could've been worse. Earlier in the
day it was said that her kids would be joining us...
SkyeDS: how old are they? have you met them?
evile: I am trying _very_ hard to paint this in the brightest
possible shades of optimism. Oldest is 10 (proud mom carries pads in
her 'mom purse' just in case she starts her period--like I needed to
know this, but there it is), middle daughter is 5 and named Bliss,
and NOT TREYS. (conceived between the first and 2nd time she married
& divorced him), and the youngest is 'twenty months'.
SkyeDS: you couldn't write a more complicated soap opera if you tried
SkyeDS: truth is stranger than fiction and all
evile: Why do breeder women say '18 months' and '20 months' and so
forth? Why can't they just say "year and a half' 'almost 2'
SkyeDS: something I've wondered before more than once myself
evile: She told Aunt L about the middle baby not being Trey's, just
right there at dinner. So very...TMI.
SkyeDS: maybe it's some developmental thing I don't udnerstand
because I am the dirty unwashed uninitiate
evile: to motherhood? Me too, but I know you don't discuss certain
things 1) the first time you meet someone and 2) at dinner.
SkyeDS: even I know that
evile: I still dont' get your 'uninitiate' remark...but okay.
SkyeDS: uninitiate into motherhood
evile: oh, gotcha.
evile: I think you should use 'months' until the kid is a year old,
then just say 'year' 'year and a half' 'almost two'...that's plenty
evile: Nobody needs to set their watches back to the second it
crawled out of yer twat, lady.
evile: (I didn't say that out loud, BTW. I -am- getting better.)
SkyeDS: ROFL
evile: oh, and she *snorted* when she laughed. Cousin B was so irritated
by that.
SkyeDS: B gives the impression of being refined well past his years
in an eccentric way (I know that makes no sense)
SkyeDS: worldly past his years, perhaps is better
evile: I probably just need to not worry about it. Brother A has been
unemployed for over a year. he lives in a dirty house full of slacker
boys. There really isn't a 'life' for her & her offspring to 'ruin'
as such.
evile: B is very worldly. Worries me a lot sometimes.
SkyeDS: makes me wonder what the hell she and Trey are thinking
SkyeDS: to introduce her beloved offspring into that
evile: Yeah, if I was Trey,I'd be introducing her to a wealthy friend
in San Antonio. Brother A is sweet, loyal, loving, and he does take his
responsibilities seriously. But he is not in a stable situation in
life.
SkyeDS: I guess he thinks he wants a readymade family
evile: I have resolved not to say ANYTHING to him, UNLESS he asks.
And then I will not say anything negative about Rubber_pig, but suggest
that it's not the best possible situation to bring another baby into.
evile: She does not seem like a bad person, just young & immature & a
little too talky. I just don't know what the big rush is as far as
marrying and having a baby.
evile: Cousin B, Aunt L & I agreed that Thanksgiving this year will be one
of the more interesting ones :P
evile: I told her I wanted something stronger than "Golden Muskrat"
to get me through.
SkyeDS: that approach has always worked well for me
SkyeDS: with my beloved "little sister" particularly
SkyeDS: all of her choices in men were hideous, until she found a
good one and married him
SkyeDS: and I couldn't be happier
SkyeDS: but she would reel in a loser
evile: Sometimes you have to kiss a few frogs before you get the
prince, eh? :P
SkyeDS: and I would be asked for my opinion, so I would say, exactly
once, what I thought, as tactfully as I could manage without
sacrificing honesty
SkyeDS: and let it go
SkyeDS: you say something more than twice and you defeat your own
purposes and I'm not going to lose her over some fucking loser guy
evile: All of Sister H's lovers I've met so far have been lovely &
attractive, but with a few of the [her dad]-behaviors I find so
unattractive.
evile: Luckily neither yours nor mine were entranced enough with the
frogs to make anything permanent :)
SkyeDS: thank god/dess
evile: yup. They're smart enough to figure it out for themselves,
given enough time & proximity. Just grit your teeth & wait it out.
SkyeDS: Shannon knew what I was doing when I did it
SkyeDS: she wasn't stupid
SkyeDS: and she let it pass
SkyeDS: and we didn't ever discuss it again
SkyeDS: and time bore me out
evile: yup.
SkyeDS: and we never discussed that either
evile: 'told ya so' is never very productive.
SkyeDS: what I do tell her ad nauseam is how wonderful James is and
how happy I am for them both
SkyeDS: very pleasant I told you so
evile: It's nice to be able to say that :)
SkyeDS: life is more pleasant when I make an effort to make a habit
of saying nice things, I notice
evile: yup. this is true.
SkyeDS: one of the qualities I notice in those I admire and aspire to
emulate most
SkyeDS: is that they make everyone feel good about themselves
consistently
SkyeDS: gift, that, I think
evile: If you look hard enough, you can usually find at least one
nice thing to say to/about someone.
SkyeDS: if you look hard, you find whatever it is you look for
SkyeDS: good or bad
SkyeDS: so be careful what you look for
SkyeDS: and what you wish for
SkyeDS: because I emphatically believe that there is self fulfilling
prophecy, and a certain malleability in personal reality
SkyeDS: "you're about as happy as you decide to be", I always that
that was Gramma, but now I know she got it from Abe Lincoln, lol, but
I believe that is an excellent self fulfilling prophecy type Truism.
evile: yup.
SkyeDS: I am no longer defective, woohoo, I managed to put nine
charms on a bracelet (an accomplishment for me). Now I'm going to do
something easy (the taxes) :)
evile: heh.
SkyeDS: I can resist anything but temptation ;)
evile: I think I've heard that one before, too :) too true!
SkyeDS: like I dono't have craft supplies galore that I never did
anything with, I bought tassels yesterday (half price, had to, I tell
you), nine charms, a bracelet to put them on, some crystals and some
string to put them on, and several pieces to make necklaces out of
SkyeDS: and I've struggled with the charms all morning (being
defective)
evile: The more you do it, the easier it will get. If JInx has a
craft night this week, bring your stuff over & we can play.
SkyeDS: I'm going to start trying to make craft nights once I get my
schedule with Hugh worked out
evile: good deal.
SkyeDS: I'm thinking about offering 30 hours a week tomorrow, 10
hours on 3 days
SkyeDS: but Wed would be one of them, possibly
evile: yeah.
SkyeDS: which means I wouldn't leave there till like 8 pm and not
make Michelle's till 8:45
SkyeDS: how long do those nights last? would there still be stuff
going on?
evile: people are usually still there at that time.
SkyeDS: that would work then
evile: People usually stay until at least 10.
SkyeDS: that's right on my way home too
evile: cool ;)
SkyeDS: and since the hours I'm going to offer are 9 am to 8 pm,
staying up late wouldn't be terribly problematic
SkyeDS: and he might not even want me 30 hours a week yet, but I hope
he does
evile: *fingers crossed*
SkyeDS: and if I can get him accustomed to that concept, maybe if he
decided he needed me full time, I could get him to agree to a 4/10
SkyeDS: and that would be very cool
evile: very.
SkyeDS: lol I probably could have gotten something at Claire's for
same money and no effort. But I'm pleased, I know I'm easily amused.
SkyeDS: actually a friend of mine bought me a $3 bracelet she saw me
admire at Claire's, cheap but precious in its way, and I loved that
little bracelet, and then someone stole it, and I was
disproportionately heartbroken, no monetary value but a great deal of
emotional attachment
evile: Some things are more fun when you do them yourself. Definitely
more meaningful.
evile: I can see that. I get attached to stuff more when it was a
gift than if Id bought it myself.
SkyeDS: don't know why people are like that
evile: stealing stuff with only sentimental value? Yeah...that is a
rotten thing to do.
SkyeDS: steal little cheap things as if they were diamond tennis
bracelets, things that don't have monetary value and no sentimental
value to anyone but one person
SkyeDS: nods
SkyeDS: not only is it hurtful from an emotional standpoint, from a
logical standpoint, it's stupid, nothing to gain
evile: yup.
evile: Jason just posted the dinner schedule for the month. Looks
like I'm skipping this weeks . Which is a bummer because I missed
first Wednesday, too.
SkyeDS: saw Johnathan request Hao Hao. I used to eat at the one in
Dobie a lot when I was at UT. Great place.
evile: I like Jonathan. His wife is a little standoffish, but I think
that's shy, not snobby.
SkyeDS: someone would have to connect his name with his face for me
(as usual)
SkyeDS: haven't been able to do poly stuff since that one time
SkyeDS: and I dont' think sineater has either but I'm not sure
evile: I think you're right--he hasn't been since that 1st Wed. ya'll
came to CM
SkyeDS: if I work a 3/10 that includes Wed, that would make CM
problematic
evile: true.
SkyeDS: which is too bad because I like taking Arthur there weather
permitting
evile: That is why they alternate Wed & Thursday nights, to give
everyone a chance to get to at least one dinner.
evile: Terri A. has a point re: same location, time, etc. being
easier to remember, but her "Let's be the Seattle Poly Group" mantra
gets OLD quick.
SkyeDS: if Hugh isn't hidebound, I can trade Wednesday hours for
Fridays or Sundays on occasion too
evile: yup. Contractors tend to have more freedom as far as that
goes, because if Hugh chooses your hours, you can say you're his
employee and fuck him up.
SkyeDS: to this point he has been a darling man, so I don't foresee
that happening, continue to knock on wood
evile: that's cool.
SkyeDS: I need some time there with him so we can tackle piles
together
SkyeDS: and then once those piles are wrangled to a certain point
there is a lot I can do without him there
evile: Yeah.
SkyeDS: actually more easily since I would need access to his puter
(he needs to get me one eventually)
evile: definitely.
SkyeDS: many of the paralegals and secretaries I admire say they get
their best work done early in the morning or late in the evening when
the attorney isn't there at all
SkyeDS: this is just going to be the best of all worlds
SkyeDS: schedule flexibility
SkyeDS: I like spending time with Hugh on a personal basis
SkyeDS: we work well together when he's there
SkyeDS: and I work just as happily when he isn't
SkyeDS: and I will make my own paid holidays/vacation/sick time and
such through my own industry, pretty much as I always have (what
happens when you're a contractor, although I hope sineater gets something
that would include health insurance, at least catastrophic, soon)
evile: that would be a big load off your minds, I know.
SkyeDS: I've been paying Hugh's bills, and I see what he pays for his
own health insurance, and how much major stuff costs him even though
he has insurance
evile: That is something that worries Sweetie, too.
SkyeDS: he's a health admin lawyer you know
SkyeDS: I told him about your idea for associations/collectives and
he agrees
SkyeDS: incidentally Congress is trying to move in that direction...
ineptly so far (what else is new)
evile: heh. of course.
SkyeDS: we have the mechanism in place for large self insureds
already, sheesh. You don't have to even event a brand new wheel.
evile: Just have to be real careful on what demographic 'they' decide
to put you in. I bet women our age have HUGE healthcare costs due to
childbirth & whathaveyou.
SkyeDS: cool website: http://www.ladyofthelakes.biz/
evile: fertility treatments account for a _huge_ chunk of healthcare
costs
evile: And a lot of employers cover that while refusing to cover
birth control. crazy.
SkyeDS: seems to me that fertility = elective
SkyeDS: but I know that's just going to be construed as hatefulness
on my nonmotherhood part
evile: I think so too. And I find it a trifle hypocritical that
people who won't allow 'god's will' to be thwarted by condoms will
allow 'god's will' to be thwarted through fertility treatments
SkyeDS: Kelly told me that mandatory sex ed in Manor starts in 5th
grade
SkyeDS: and it is segregated
SkyeDS: and then in 6th grade it is unsegregated
evile: I think ours was too. Karnes City TX.
SkyeDS: I can't believe there aren't rabid Xian parents who don't
throw a big fit over that
SkyeDS: I've always thought that sex ed should be inherently part of
anatomy, in Biology, which I think was 9th grade? 10th grade?
SkyeDS: but I know you have to catch the kids early
evile: I think there was an option for the Xtian kids to go to the
library or the auditorium or something, like you had to get a
permission slip and if your parents didn't sign it, you didn't go to
sex ed.
SkyeDS: they're having sex at age 8 now, a lot of them
evile: that is so alien to me..
SkyeDS: outside of the behavioral and sociological factors and
implications
SkyeDS: girls are starting their periods at 9
SkyeDS: that's purely biological
SkyeDS: and significant I think
evile: scary thought.
SkyeDS: no matter how you raise your daughter, an d what you do and
don't allow her to come into contact with, she's going to start her
period at a tender age.
SkyeDS: and you have the bleeding/breeding thing to deal with
(because she'll ovulate at 10)
SkyeDS: I have seen Kelly's job
evile: So maybe Rubber_pig isn't so nutty having pads in her purse in case
her 10 year old starts....Okay. points for the fiancee.
SkyeDS: she does a superlative job at it
SkyeDS: (and I don't fucking want it)
SkyeDS: when I was teaching (a decade ago) a 9 year old girl came to
me in tears because she started a day early and didn't have protection
evile: I think a lot of teenagers and young women could benefit from
spending time with real children & infants. Figure out it's not about
having a cute little dolly baby that will love you forever.
SkyeDS: I told her all I had were my supersize tampons (baby's arm
size)
SkyeDS: and she said that's the size she uses anyway and thank you
miss :)
evile: yow!
SkyeDS: you could have knocked me over with a molt feather
evile: i bet.
SkyeDS: only reason I used tampons right after I first started was
because I couldn't march wearing pads the size I needed.
evile: yeah...pretty bulky things back in the day.
SkyeDS: the world would be a better place if there were more mothers
like Kelly.
evile: She is sweet with her kids, but she doesn't take any crap
either. It's a hard road to walk, keeping that balance.
SkyeDS: she is an amazing mother, from all perspectives
SkyeDS: she is an amazing mother despite her motherhood being
a "mistake" both times
SkyeDS: getting pregnant as a teenager
SkyeDS: marrying and divorcing Michael's dad and not making that
mistake with Brittany's dad even though Brittany was a "mistake" too.
SkyeDS: she is not on welfare of any kind
SkyeDS: the child support checks don't come dependably
SkyeDS: and she hasn't latched onto some other man codependently
SkyeDS: and her children want for nothing, financially or
emotionally, and they are academically and socially exceptional.
evile: Bet you just want to hold her up and say "look, breeder
welfare cows, it can be done!"
SkyeDS: it can be done by a single mother thank you very much
SkyeDS: so two parent families should do at least that well if not
better
evile: exactly. But it requires *work* and consistent diligent
efforts, which a lot of biologically-capable breeders dont' want to
do.
SkyeDS: if I were a regulatory type person I would say require all
women to go through a course in how to be a mother like Kelly before
issuing them licenses to breed in a controlled fashion.
evile: ahh, utopia.
SkyeDS: and...her tubes are tied...there will be no more breeding for
her, through her own volition.
evile: smart move, if you're that prone to fertility :)
SkyeDS: I admire Kelly to no end.
SkyeDS: and why should I have children of my own, whom I would no
doubt mess up with, when I can enjoy hers, without doing any damage.
evile: hee.
SkyeDS: (in that she would kill me before she let that happen)
evile: being an auntE was fun. When the kids were unspoiled &
uncoached in 'gimme gimme'
SkyeDS: if you ever decide you want to die slowly and painfully, you
fuck with Kelly's children.
evile: I bet.
SkyeDS: you think I have a temper? I am Mary fucking Poppins next to
Kelly.
SkyeDS: when someone is stupid enough to set her off, I offer to kill
them, and then I sit in the corner quietly and behaving myself, so
that I am not in her way and don't draw her fire in my direction
evile: it's always rather terrifying to watch someone go
into 'lioness' mode. Mom, Dee, even sweet little Rio.
SkyeDS: oh good lord
SkyeDS: I sure as hell wouldn't want to be in Dee's line of fire
evile: nope.
SkyeDS: I have never seen a bull lose its temper
SkyeDS: but I don't doubt that I don't want a critter God gave 14
foot rack to giving me my first performance
SkyeDS: Skye is crazy, but she is not, contrary to popular belief,
that fucking insane.
evile: Thus far, I've only heard about it, in her dealings with the
school over Phine's dyslexia.
SkyeDS: one of the things I know sonar0m's parents did right was go to the
matt legally with Leander over his severe dyslexia.
evile: I know you have a hard time with them, but I do think they act
out of love & caring for him. Probably overprotective &
unreasonable...but not hateful.
evile: And they're working on it. If the shrink does nothing else,
hopefully they will find a healthful way to separate themselves and
their accomplishments & choices in life from their son's, realize
that he's an individual who will make his own choices & live his own
life.
SkyeDS: that was cute
SkyeDS: taxcut cd crashed my puter
SkyeDS: have the resident expert working on that now
evile: oh well. s**T happens.
SkyeDS: there's that website
evile: We're going to see the accountant on Monday.I need to finish
sorting out all my paper before then.
SkyeDS: ladiesonlysports.com
SkyeDS: good bra/exercise site
evile: cool.
SkyeDS: you'd think I'd have learned by now
evile: ?
SkyeDS: I ought to bring the mail in myself
SkyeDS: because if I want all the tax documents in a nice safe pile
where I can find it when I want it....
SkyeDS: every year it's the same way
SkyeDS: and insanity is....
evile: Sweetie used to have an 'in box'. That was helpful.
SkyeDS: sineater's inbox is the entire floor of his office
SkyeDS: I thought it would suffice to ask him to please put tax
documents in one place on or about my desk, and remember where that
place is
SkyeDS: I should have known better, we've been through ti before
evile: Sweetie's filing system is the dining table. That's not where I
throw Sweetie's stuff when it comes in, but that's where it ends up.
SkyeDS: there are things that if we want done right, we do them
ourselves, because we know they don't care, we can't make them care,
we can't foist it off on them because it will get messed up, it's
important it not get messed up, adn they don't care and we do
evile: true enough.
SkyeDS: you know...things like...the taxes....vehicle registration
and inspection....etc
evile: yup.
SkyeDS: even Dr. Laura agrees that women have the power, and we mess
up when we don't use it correctly.
evile: Sweetie's lost our deed & all the floor & outside plans &
measurements that were with it.
SkyeDS: omg, did you ever find them?
evile: nope. I wanted to copy the lot blueprint and do a garden plan
with correct square footage, but in the process discovered that it's
all MIA.
SkyeDS: there should be a copy of the deed with the bank, the title
company, etc
evile: i suppose I could blame Sweetie for losing them, but it was me who
let him insist on keeping them & believed him when he said he'd
file it in his filing cabinet.
evile: I don't need a copy of the deed right this second. But I
really wanted a lot plan to play with.
evile: When/if the time comes, since he's the one who lost the deed,
it will be his responsibility to get another copy.
SkyeDS: yep
SkyeDS: we ought to know better
SkyeDS: shame on me
evile: I positively despise passive-agressive behavior, but Sweetie has
used it so much on me that I have learned some of the finer points &
am now quite good at using it right back at him.
SkyeDS: Ayn Rand had a point about victims being victims by choice
evile: yup.
SkyeDS: I can and have dealt with these problems quite effectively
before, I know how
SkyeDS: I get criticized like a motherfucker for my methods
SkyeDS: but they work when I use them
evile: same here. I just hope that I don't become something I can't
like or live with as a result of using those methods.
SkyeDS: amen sister
evile: Would be so much easier to ask politely once and have things
get done
SkyeDS: maybe you will get the chance to be Aunt E again soon
(through Brother A)
evile: um...I doubt it.
SkyeDS: what is that from Pulp Fiction
SkyeDS: "don't make me get medieval on yo ass"
SkyeDS: or something close
evile: I think Rubber_Pigs concept of motherhood includes spending most of
her time with them. If they aren't with their dad, they are with her
kind of thing.
evile: That, or at lessons. Apparently one of her older 2 is musical
& she's cultivating that.
evile: She was talking about Austin Schools & Aunt L told her flat out
Eanes and Westlake(whatever district that is) are the only ones
comparable to where she is now in San Antonio (alamo heights)
SkyeDS: Round Rock too
evile: I don't know much about Austin's school systems at all. Brother A
may end up moving to SA so that the girls can stay in Alamo Heights.
SkyeDS: does he have job prospects in AH?
evile: Brother A doesn't have prospects anywhere, far as I know.
evile: He failed his drug test for the beer warehouse, BTW. it wasn't
his fault because he didn't realize marijuana stays in your system
too long. *bangs head against wall*
evile: How is it 'not your fault' to smoke pot of your own free will
and then get caught? Boy has his head up his ass. I love him to
pieces but...he makes me crazy. that cause-effect thing again.
evile: that was a decent blue collar gig, too. $12 an hour &
benefits. *sigh*
evile: You couldn't do anything fancy, but you could raise a family
on that.
SkyeDS: nods
evile: oh well. His friend Ron is in SA and working security, if he
moved there and could stay away from the wacky weed, he could get a
job there, maybe. Trey works high-tech, so probably would not be able
to get Brother A in at his place.
SkyeDS: don't know what to tell him
evile: Trey's in a very specialized unit in the navy reserves. Wonder
how it'll shake out if he actually is coming out of the closet. (that
is just my own twisted little theory, at this point, mind you. I'm
just idly speculating)
SkyeDS: nods
evile: personally, I don't think you can spend months in a confined
space with someone and *not* know their sexual preference. that
whole 'dont ask don't tell' is such garbage.
SkyeDS: theoretically it shouldn't matter
evile: not at all.
SkyeDS: you shouldn't be worried about sexual preference when people
are trying to kill you
SkyeDS: but it does
SkyeDS: and for people who are phobic, you can't reason with them
SkyeDS: phobias are not reasonable by definition
evile: right.
evile: Another possibility re: Trey passing Rubber_pig along to Brother A: he
is going active duty again soon & wants to be sure she's safe before
he goes.
SkyeDS: or any combination thereof
evile: yup.
evile: They've been married on and off for over 10 years, so there's
gotta be something there, even if it's not enough to make the
marriage work, or whatever.
evile: Aunt L said she got the impression that Rubber_pig was the one who
wanted the divorce & Trey didn't.
evile: But, like I said, I think we only see the tip of the iceberg
here & have no idea what's really going on with this.
SkyeDS: so she marries Brother A and then plays pingpong back and forth,
divorcing one and marrying the other.
evile: Wonder what happened to the daddy of #2?
evile: Think she & Trey picked him too & then changed their minds &
got back together?
evile: I'm so tacky...I should just steel myself to be kind & polite
& actually spend time with them if I want to know, instead of
speculating like the mean nasty childfree hag that I am.
evile: She's obviously quite willing to talk about herself & her
relationships, so I am sure I don't need to guess, I could just ask.
evile: Brother A, being Brother A, will change his story to fit his audience. I
don't get the feeling that Rubber_pig is like that.
SkyeDS: I would be wondering
evile: Then again, it's really none of my business. And I probably
don't want to know.
SkyeDS: there may be a time down the road when you must cross that
bridge
SkyeDS: but no reason to cross it before you come to it
evile: yup. Brother A is a grown man now, he can make his own decisions in
life.
evile: I wish he wasn't so selfish & immature. I wish he'd think
things through before making such a big committment...but things may
turn out OK anyway.
evile: Oh well. I should make my rounds & let you focus on your
taxes.
evile: Probably won't be at Poly dinner this Thurs, but hopefully see
ya 'round sometime soon!
*hugs!*
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
