1849dream

Jan. 14, 2004

 

 

I was out walking & I was on northeast in front of those houses that
face the school. One of the mailboxes was dusty so I wiped the dust
off and in the process, I messed up the little thingy on top that
keeps the mailbox door closed. There was a yellow rubber cover and 3
bolts with nuts & washers. I took everything off and put it back on
again. As I was finishing up. The family came home. They were
hispanic & I was trying to explain what had happened. They were very
nice but I don't think they understood what was going on. I think
they were worried that I had taken their mail or soemething.

I was thinking something about possibly being busted for mail fraud
or tampering with the mail or something horrible like that--no good
deed goes unpunished.

1850yesterday evening

 

 

 

Jan. 14, 2004

 

 

I had a really bad moment last night at dinner--our
friend Jaime said something about how Sweetie wanted a
puppy SO BAD and I should let him have one. It was
like a twisted version of the kid argument, which
nobody EVER brings up to me anymore. And, bizarre &
sad as it may be, my objections to a puppy are mostly
the same as to a kid, and boils down to "Sweetie wants it,
but I'd be the one responsible for it."

Sad, but true.

----
a post in BRATS that seemed really relevant:
Rant Number: 36441 When: January 13
What kind: Other Where: At a get-together with friends

I was with a bunch of girlfriends today, most have kids of course,
and I find it interesting to see how that works out for everyone. One
friend who never wanted kids but had them because her husband wanted
them and she didn't think that she didn't have to was talking about
her day yesterday. She said she has felt so overwhelmed, she works
all day at the business that she owns, picked up the sprogs at
daycare, went home to find hubby sitting on the sofa watching
television. She got dinner started, went upstairs to change and
realized what a mess the kid's rooms were and began to pick up the
mess. At that point she said she broke down and started crying. So
there she found herself, sitting in her daughter's closet, crying.

So very, very glad it's not me.




My probably irrelevant brat rant:
Rant Number: 36447 When: Jan 13
What kind: Other Where: out at dinner
Oh, god...my SO is pressuring me to have....a puppy. If he was
bothering me for a baby, I'd show him to the curb. But I find myself
vulnerable to the idea of having a puppy. Even though I know it'll be
me up at night when it cries, me cleaning up its messes, me walking
it, me taking it to the vet (and paying for it), and me scooping poop
in the yard.

Not quite as dreadful as the rant where the woman ended up doing
everything and her husband sat on the couch watching TV while she
cried in her kid's closet, but still more responsibility than I want.

At least puppies are cute, grateful, and (eventually) obedient. Plus
they potty train a lot quicker than kids. It's tempting. But...no.

1852Re: OH DEAR GHOD

 

 

 

Me to J-Law:

evilE H  wrote:
Got a phone message from M V, X's stepdad,
sometime this weekend, I think maybe Saturday evening
while we were at the movies or Sunday while we were
shopping for Sweetie's work clothes. I didn't listen to it
until just a minute ago.

Anyway, it was him saying "Thank you for all your
help" and "Thank you for helping [my wife] during the
troubles a couple weeks ago"...very polite, no snippy
tone, but definitely not the tone MV usually uses.

So, I guess(?) it's a guilt trip, meant to make me
feel bad about not doing anything for/with the kids
while X was incarcerated and [his wife] was overrun with
rugrats.

Well...I am sorry as hell for the kids, and I feel
like shit for not being able to be there for them.

But...that week we had other horrible things going on,
that weekend Elaine was in ICU...and I just wasn't up
to handling anything else.

Plus, X and I hadn't been friends or even spoken
to each other for over 6 months at that point. I have
been *more* than generous with my time, energy, and
money with the Alonzos and their children in the past.


But...M V needed somebody to vent at, or be mad at,
and it doesn't really do me any damage for him to be
mad at me or blame me for whatever. It's totally
irrational, but I can understand. And while it hurts
my feelings, it isn't actually doing anything negative
to me to let him be mad at me.

The message gave me his cel phone # (which I will not
call--And, really, since I haven't done anything
wrong, I am not going to give him any openings by
getting defensive or trying to explain or justify
anything about that weekend.) and also said he'd call
me again later. Hopefully he won't.


---------

Date: Mon, 20 Oct 2003 16:43:05 -0700 (PDT)
From: J-Law
Subject: Re: dammit
To: me




Weird.

Could be he was still kind of reeling/stupefied/unsettled about all
of this and couldn't manage his usual, less formal tone?

But you know him better than I do.... so....

Definitely wise not to get into a situation where he could mix it up
with you, if that's what he's after. Sounds like you have a good
perspective on his thing vs. your thing - just because he might need
to vent/blame/resent or whatever doesn't mean you have to return the
serve.

I am fwding my drama-ish to you in a mo.

 

•  

 

1853life etc

 

 

 

Jan. 14, 2004

 

 

1. I've been working 10 hour days this week. I am totally burned out
on work and I'm sure my numbers will reflect that. I hate that place.
I hate the way you have to pound the buttons in the elevator to get
them to light up. I hate the voices of my coworkers. I hate whoever
burns popcorn in the afternoons and sends me home with a withering
headache. I hates them I hates them.

2. If Sweetie hadn't picked me up and taken me straight there, more than
likely I would not have gone anywhere after work yesterday. I felt
bad for ditching PNO & just having dinner with the guys, but...being
real, I would not have made it to PNO if I had just come straight
home after work.

3. Regular exercise isn't happening, but has been better this week
than last.

4. I have a truly rotten sinus headache right now. I know it's only
7:30 but I am really tempted to just go to bed.