1348 The Tower

 Apr. 7, 2003

            One of the cards Ms. Pat drew for me pretty early on in her reading 

was The Tower. I've been reading around about its meaning...and It's
like it had X's name on it.

http://www.angelpaths.com/majors/tower2.html

There are many aspects of the Tower that should remind us of the
lessons to be learned within the Death card. All life is change - we
can either surrender to this, or fight against it. What the Tower
teaches us is that the power of life is undeniable. We can learn our
lessons the easy way - by being open and accepting; or we can do
things the hard way, clinging to things and ideas that no longer work
for us. In that case, life will come along and, like a hurricane,
batter us with the winds of change till we submit!

So...on a Tower day, we need to examine ourselves to identify the
things to which we are clinging that no longer serve us well. We need
to be alert to the concepts life itself presents us with. So this day
could be one in which people talk relevantly to you, without knowing
that they are doing that. Listen carefully for random symbols which
will point you in the right direction.

When the Tower rules, it is possible that unexpected events will take
place that you hadn't seen coming. If so, remember that to resist
change is to deny life, and bear in mind that life is eventually
going to win this battle anyhow - so lie back, relax and accept. And
keep your sense of humour close at hand!

Sometimes we will be asked to take a blind leap of faith under the
influence of the Tower - remember this card signals breakthrough and
extension - growth from experience, and self trust. Whenever you are
unsure about your abilities to deal with things, remind yourself what
you have already passed through in your life. There's a river of
knowledge flowing through you already.

Affirmation: I trust to myself and to life.
--------------------------------------------
http://www.aeclectic.net/basics/tower.html

THE TOWER
Basic Symbols

A tower on a rocky outcropping, a powerful bolt of lightning, one or
two figures falling from the tower, sometimes waves crashing below.
Basic Story

As the Fool leaves the throne of the Goat God, he comes upon a Tower,
fantastic, magnificent, and familiar. In fact, The Fool, himself,
helped build this Tower back when the most important thing to him was
making his mark on the world and proving himself better than other
men. Inside the Tower, at the top, arrogant men still live, convinced
of their rightness. Seeing the Tower again, the Fool feels as if
lightning has just flashed across his mind; he thought he'd left that
old self behind when he started on this spiritual journey. But he
realizes now that he hasn't. He's been seeing himself, like the
Tower, like the men inside, as alone and singular and superior, when
in fact, he is no such thing. So captured is he by the shock of this
insight, that he opens his mouth and releases a SHOUT! And to his
astonishment and terror, as if the shout has taken form, a bolt of
actual lightning slashes down from the heavens, striking the Tower
and sending its residents leaping out into the waters below.

In a moment, it is over. The Tower is rubble, only rocks remaining.
Stunned and shaken to the core, the Fool experiences grief, profound
fear and disbelief. But also, a strange clarity of vision, as if his
inner eye has finally opened. He tore down his resistance to change
and sacrifice (Hanged man), then broke free of his fear and
preconceptions of death (Death); he dissolved his belief that
opposites cannot be merged (Temperance) and shattered the chains of
ambition and desire (The Devil). But here and now, he has done what
was hardest: destroyed the lies he held about himself. What's left is
the bare, absolute truth. On this he can rebuild his soul.

Basic Meaning

With Mars as its ruling planet, the Tower is a card about war, a war
between the structures of lies and the lightning flash of truth. The
Tower, as Wang points out, stands for "false concepts and
institutions that we take for real." When the Querent gets this card,
they can expect to be shaken up, to be blinded by a shocking
revelation. It sometimes takes that to see a truth that one refuses
to see. Or to bring down beliefs that are so well constructed. What's
most important to remember is that the tearing down of this
structure, however painful, makes room for something new to be built.
Thirteen's Observations

No card scares a Tarot reader like the Tower - or the person they're
reading for if that person knows anything about Tarot cards. It is
however one of the clearest cards when it comes to meaning. False
structures, false institutions, false beliefs are going to come
tumbling down, suddenly, violently and all at once. What's important
to remember as a tarot reader is that the one you're reading for
likely does not know that something is false. Not yet. To the
contrary, they probably believe that their lover is being faithful,
that their religious beliefs are true and right, that there are no
problems in their family structure, that everything is fine at
work...oh, and that they're fine. Just fine, really.

Alas, they're about to get a very rude awakening. Shaken up, torn
down, blown asunder. And all a reader can really do to soften the
blow is assure the Querent that it is for the best. Nothing built on
a lie, on falsehoods, can remain standing for long. Better to tear it
all down and rebuild on the truth. It is not going to be pleasant or
painless or easy, but it will be for the best

1349 Re: parting shots...

 

 

 

Me to Dee:
Subject: more info than in d'land
Date: Thu, 3 Apr 2003 11:56:34 -0800

Apparently, X and her husband read some stuff in my diaryland
diary that they didn't like. M was practically foaming at the
mouth at my entry on what Vegas with his daughter was like. It was
just ultra bizarre. it's not like I said "she's a horrible kid and I
hate her." I said "She tries too hard around me and that makes me
feel bad"...which was more of a regret about how I must come across
to her than a judgement of what kind of person [goddessdaughter] is. Anyway,
the way this whole mess started is X asked me to lie to her
husband for her. I said no. She got all pissed off and then
apparently told M something that got him all pissed off at me too.
So they are both mad at me now, and bringing in all of this REALLY
OLD stuff from last summer, my diary, my 'child hating'...just
bizarre, wierd stuff. Their marriage is in the shitter because X
apparently fooled around on M. M is crazy jealous even when
people just say 'hello' or try to flirt with X, so this really has
him unglued. They are in a mess and I guess it is just easier to be
mad at a common enemy (me) than deal with their own issues. The way I
figure it, friendship is a two way street. If I ever say or do
something to upset you, it's your right and your *responsibility* as
my friend to let me know I've upset you...otherwise, how can I try to
make it right? Anyway, since they're not speaking to me but
presumably still reading my diary, I basically wrote the last 2
entries for them. I'm keeping another one on livejournal that goes
into more details, because they don't know about that one, plus I
usually erase that one daily.
<http://www.livejournal.com/users/bramblekite/>
=============================
Me to D again: (she called and told me how fucked up X is, how mad
she is at X, and that I needed a voice of sanity.)

---Original Message Follows--- Thank you so much for your phone call
& your sane perspective on all of this. I am so sad for the kids, and
I feel selfish for protecting myself instead of trying to do
something for them. But...I don't know what to do. I think if I
approached the .s right now, it would just trigger another round
of crazy drama that would upset the kids even more. I think I am just
going to keep my distance for a while...and maybe hopefully when
things settle down and the .s pull their heads out, I can once
again have a relationship with the kids. I do not want a relationship
with M or X again. But I hope they mature enough to let me take
their kids for birthday treats, museum trips, 6 flags, and all the
other fun stuff I enjoy doing. They really knew how to hit me where
it hurts. But...I just have to give this over to god/ess and let Her
hold it for me for a while. And ask Him to hold and protect those
wonderful kids for as long as it takes for their world to become sane
again. Thank you so much for your love & friendship. Hug & kiss your
sweet family for me. I can't wait until you're all home! =E
================
D:
YOU ARE QUITE WELCOME MY DEAR! It's always nice to hear from someone
who is removed from the situation if only to confirm that you're not
the crazy one! D

--------

D again:

Shoot me an email when you update your livejournal....I still have to
shake my head at the drama those people have...jeez Hope your weekend
has been good. D

=============================
Wrote to X but didnt' send:


You had all these old issues and all these old hurts that you'd never
tried to resolve with me, until they just blew up.

You're still mad at me for something that happened almost a year ago.
You're mad at me for my opinions on child-raising (which? when? I
don't know) You're always mad at me for being negative and
nasty...but you never resolved any of these with me, just let them
simmer until they were out of control kitchen-sink issues.

You set up this total no-win situation for us by not asking for what
you wanted and then getting mad at me for not reading your mind and
just knowing what you wanted.

I just really don't understand most of whatever this is. Maybe it is
because I'm immature and selfish, bla bla...or maybe it's just
because I'm not psychic.

I said it to M and I'll say it to you: easier to be mad at me than
at your spouse. Easier to unite against a common enemy than address
the problems that you've been having with each other. In one breath
you tell me it's fine that I don't want to be in the middle of it,
and in the next you act like you want me to take sides.

I'm sorry you have felt hurt by me so much and so often. I'm sorry
that for whatever reasons you didn't feel like you could just tell me
what was going on, what you needed, or whatever. I feel very badly
about that.

 

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