1349 Re: parting shots...

[evile]

 

 

 

Me to Dee:
Subject: more info than in d'land
Date: Thu, 3 Apr 2003 11:56:34 -0800

Apparently, X and her husband read some stuff in my diaryland
diary that they didn't like. M was practically foaming at the
mouth at my entry on what Vegas with his daughter was like. It was
just ultra bizarre. it's not like I said "she's a horrible kid and I
hate her." I said "She tries too hard around me and that makes me
feel bad"...which was more of a regret about how I must come across
to her than a judgement of what kind of person [goddessdaughter] is. Anyway,
the way this whole mess started is X asked me to lie to her
husband for her. I said no. She got all pissed off and then
apparently told M something that got him all pissed off at me too.
So they are both mad at me now, and bringing in all of this REALLY
OLD stuff from last summer, my diary, my 'child hating'...just
bizarre, wierd stuff. Their marriage is in the shitter because X
apparently fooled around on M. M is crazy jealous even when
people just say 'hello' or try to flirt with X, so this really has
him unglued. They are in a mess and I guess it is just easier to be
mad at a common enemy (me) than deal with their own issues. The way I
figure it, friendship is a two way street. If I ever say or do
something to upset you, it's your right and your *responsibility* as
my friend to let me know I've upset you...otherwise, how can I try to
make it right? Anyway, since they're not speaking to me but
presumably still reading my diary, I basically wrote the last 2
entries for them. I'm keeping another one on livejournal that goes
into more details, because they don't know about that one, plus I
usually erase that one daily.
<http://www.livejournal.com/users/bramblekite/>
=============================
Me to D again: (she called and told me how fucked up X is, how mad
she is at X, and that I needed a voice of sanity.)

---Original Message Follows--- Thank you so much for your phone call
& your sane perspective on all of this. I am so sad for the kids, and
I feel selfish for protecting myself instead of trying to do
something for them. But...I don't know what to do. I think if I
approached the .s right now, it would just trigger another round
of crazy drama that would upset the kids even more. I think I am just
going to keep my distance for a while...and maybe hopefully when
things settle down and the .s pull their heads out, I can once
again have a relationship with the kids. I do not want a relationship
with M or X again. But I hope they mature enough to let me take
their kids for birthday treats, museum trips, 6 flags, and all the
other fun stuff I enjoy doing. They really knew how to hit me where
it hurts. But...I just have to give this over to god/ess and let Her
hold it for me for a while. And ask Him to hold and protect those
wonderful kids for as long as it takes for their world to become sane
again. Thank you so much for your love & friendship. Hug & kiss your
sweet family for me. I can't wait until you're all home! =E
================
D:
YOU ARE QUITE WELCOME MY DEAR! It's always nice to hear from someone
who is removed from the situation if only to confirm that you're not
the crazy one! D

--------

D again:

Shoot me an email when you update your livejournal....I still have to
shake my head at the drama those people have...jeez Hope your weekend
has been good. D

=============================
Wrote to X but didnt' send:


You had all these old issues and all these old hurts that you'd never
tried to resolve with me, until they just blew up.

You're still mad at me for something that happened almost a year ago.
You're mad at me for my opinions on child-raising (which? when? I
don't know) You're always mad at me for being negative and
nasty...but you never resolved any of these with me, just let them
simmer until they were out of control kitchen-sink issues.

You set up this total no-win situation for us by not asking for what
you wanted and then getting mad at me for not reading your mind and
just knowing what you wanted.

I just really don't understand most of whatever this is. Maybe it is
because I'm immature and selfish, bla bla...or maybe it's just
because I'm not psychic.

I said it to M and I'll say it to you: easier to be mad at me than
at your spouse. Easier to unite against a common enemy than address
the problems that you've been having with each other. In one breath
you tell me it's fine that I don't want to be in the middle of it,
and in the next you act like you want me to take sides.

I'm sorry you have felt hurt by me so much and so often. I'm sorry
that for whatever reasons you didn't feel like you could just tell me
what was going on, what you needed, or whatever. I feel very badly
about that.

 

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