Jun. 24th, 2002

evile: (clutter)
 
 

633 Monday

 
  • Jun. 24, 2002
     
    Woke up at 5:45 (actually, my clock is 10 min ahead, so 5:35).
    Decided to get up because my alarm was going off in 15 min. Did "AM
    Yoga with Rodney Yee" video, which was nice. showered, dressed,
    started the sprinkler on my tomatoes & peppers, walked the dog, had
    an egg, then turned the water off and went to work. Ozone day, got to
    ride free. I'm tired, drank coffee at work. Ah well.

    Heard back from ERS. I can only get my retirement money if I quit or
    get fired. They take 20% for taxes and warned that the IRS may take
    10% more. So that's something to consider, too, when I get my balance
    report. It has to be enough to cover all my debts even when they take
    the 20% out.

    I still need a part time job.

    Dee came in to San Antonio yesterday sometime. I hope she'll call
    soon and let me know what needs to be done, or when she's coming to
    visit.

    Tom's leaving for the Checker thing either Tuesday nite or Wednesday,
    will be gone until Mon or Tues next week. I'll miss him.

    X told me on Saturday that Tom was not a suitable match for me.
    WTF. I don't think I was even bitching about him when she said it.
    Here's the thing about all the men I know:

    They're all lazy. They all have different #1 priorities than me.
    They're all slobs. They all have annoying habits and cluttery hobbies
    that would make them tough to live with.

    "Not MY husband" says X. He works too much, smokes too much,
    doesn't do much around the house, doesn't read or have any
    intellectual interests...so the fact that he has no cluttery hobbies,
    well....so? He has no vices, but not many virtues other than being a
    hard worker & bringing home $.

    Whatever. It was out of line and I don't appreciate it. There is no
    ideal man. There is no guy out there that would be better for me than
    Tom, and lots that would be worse. I couldn't live with an uncle bob
    neatnick, or a workaholic/slob, or a spendthrift/slob or an
     dreamer/slob/toy collector, or a  clutter-
    collector, or a  slob/musician. The minuses on all those are
    more than the pluses. Tom may peeve me quite a bit, but the pluses
    are bigger than the minuses and I've learned to live with him for the
    most part.

    Maybe X thinks she'd be able to see (use) me more if Tom wasn't
    around.

    Taurus
    Horoscope (by astrocenter.com)
    Seek out the beautiful and marvelous today, dear Taurus! It is one of
    those times in which the cheap and shoddy just won't do. You need the
    Rolls Royce to take you to the ball tonight, not the beat up lemon
    that is falling apart. Travel in style today and dress as if you are
    flying first class all the way. There is a boisterous social element
    to the day that should make your waking hours pleasurable and
    possibly very romantic.

    Gemini
    Horoscope (by astrocenter.com)
    You are likely to fit in perfectly to whatever situation you find
    yourself in today, dear Gemini. Bring your thoughts and opinions to
    the table and let them be known. Whether you are in a current
    relationship right now or not, it is apt to be quite likely that you
    are going to want to flirt with every person who catches your eye.
    Keep things light and spontaneous and you can't go wrong.
 

634Re: routines, dreams, horoscopes

 
  • Jun. 24, 2002
     
    Carl Jung said that all wild animals indicate latent affects
    (feelings and emotions that we do not readily deal with). They are
    also symbolic of dangers (hurtful and negative things)
    being "swallowed" by the unconscious. The interpretation of the
    animal in your dream depends on your relationship with it in daily
    life. Animals represent the qualities in our character or specific
    aspects of our personalities. They could symbolize our more intuitive
    and instinctive parts, or they could serve as messengers for the
    unconscious. Please look up each animal individually by name.

    635wishlists, etc.

     
evile: (clutter)
 
 
  • Jun. 24, 2002
     
    Can't remember exact wording of question,something about how
    seriously should I take e and X talking about Tom?
    ===========================================
    Card: The High Priestess

    Women are known for having a powerful intuition, a strong sense of
    the undercurrent of emotions lying between the spoken and unspoken
    word. This card is full of the strong feminine energy of intuition.
    The High Priestess relies less on her connection to the physical
    world to make her judgements and complete tasks and more on her inner
    strengths and powerful insight.
    The High Priestess suggests that you look at problems intuitively,
    from another angle. There are times when we want to address a problem
    that we know exists, but it doesn't seem to be a knowledge that was
    achieved rationally. Despite its seeming irrationality, this becomes
    valuable insight to act upon. Sometimes it is just this type of
    insight that makes people seem like mind readers and allows them to
    solve small problems before they become large ones. The High
    Priestess qualities help identify the hidden influences in your life.
    A woman I know communicates telepathically to animals through
    pictures transmitted between them. She says we are all born with this
    ability, but when we learn to verbalize we quickly lose the ability
    or it becomes dormant. It might just be that this ability is called
    intuition and actually has a rational explainable basis. We are
    somehow open to pick up on people's thoughts and internal reactions
    in this manner along with our outward communications with them.
    The negative aspect to the High Priestess is emotional instability
    and a dependency on external cues and over-calculated actions. There
    might be atendency to be secretive and guarded to keep an initiate
    from learning too much before they are ready.
    The nun in the movie Dead Man Walking <http://us.imdb.com/Title?
    0112818> was a High Priestess character, guiding the convict to make
    a connection with his humanity, bringing his repentance and a higher
    awareness of his spirituality.
    In the movie Field of Dreams <http://us.imdb.com/Title?0097351> a
    farmer trusts in intuition and what seems like a dreamlike message to
    create a baseball field in his cornfield which becomes not only a
    baseball field of dreams, but a field of closure and healing for
    several important issues in his life and the lives of others.
    ===========================
    Then again, Elena is a codependent little sicko who seems to want me
    to go thru bad times so she can be there for me. Sort of like
    drowning kittens in order to rescue them. And Xtal...well, she's a
    user. And her idea of a good marriage seems to be one in which Mike
    works as much as possible, gives her all his money, and doesn't do
    much else.
    ==============================================

    How should I continue my job search?

    The King of Cups represents an individual who has repressed his
    emotions and dreams to be able to succeed in a world that appreciates
    material achievements. This individual has conflicting emotions
    regarding intimate relationships. On one hand there is a desire for
    closeness and commitment; on the other hand there is a fear of being
    contained and limited by these emotions. Confrontation is necessary
    to face fears and accept the growth that comes with emotional
    challenges.
    We see the King of Cups as an ingenious man, a light on his head
    representing his burning ambition and drive. He stares off into space
    completely detached from anything but his feelings. According to
    scientists bumblebees are too big to fly on their light wings and yet
    they do; so in that manner the bees flying through the air represent
    dreaming the impossible dream. A house stands behind him representing
    his worldly accomplishments.
    As a card of actions it might question motives and actions, ask that
    you face your fears of emotional commitment and re-examine your
    relationships from another perspective.
    In a negative light the card would suggest that an individual is
    dishonest, ruled by intellectual emotions and is possibly domineering
    and manipulative.
    The main character in An Officer and a Gentleman
    <http://us.imdb.com/Title?0084434> had many of the King of Cups
    attributes. He suppresses his ego in order to fit in and make it
    through officers' training and throughout most of the movie maintains
    his emotional distance in all his relationships until the end of the
    movie where he drops his King of Cups reserve.
    ===============================================


    "Confrontation is necessary to face fears and accept the growth that
    comes with emotional challenges."

    I need a job that lets me be me? What am I afraid of?
 
evile: (clutter)
 
  •  
    I am thinking of sending this to X:
    Do you want me to not-invite Tom to 6 Flags next month?

    I'm really not sure where your comment on Saturday came from, about
    Tom not being suitable for me or whatever. Were you joking?

    If you were serious, I don't think it was necessarily something to
    bring up when and where you did, in front of the girls and
    everything.

    I am willing to listen/read whatever your opinions are once, and that
    is all. This is not a topic we will be discussing. Tom has been my
    sweetie for over 6 years now, we share a mortgage, and have a pretty
    decent relationship in which we are both adults.

    So if you have any concerns re: my health or well being in this
    relationship, I appreciate your concern and your friendship, I want
    to know what your concerns are, and I will listen to them, but this
    is not a topic that I expect to ever come up again. I will not put up
    with constant harping on my romantic choice. You will say what you
    think you need to say, and that will be the end. 
 
 

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