EJ June 24 2002

 

 

633 Monday

 

• Jun. 24, 2002

   

  Woke up at 5:45 (actually, my clock is 10 min ahead, so 5:35).
  Decided to get up because my alarm was going off in 15 min. Did "AM
  Yoga with Rodney Yee" video, which was nice. showered, dressed,
  started the sprinkler on my tomatoes & peppers, walked the dog, had
  an egg, then turned the water off and went to work. Ozone day, got to
  ride free. I'm tired, drank coffee at work. Ah well.
  
  Heard back from ERS. I can only get my retirement money if I quit or
  get fired. They take 20% for taxes and warned that the IRS may take
  10% more. So that's something to consider, too, when I get my balance
  report. It has to be enough to cover all my debts even when they take
  the 20% out.
  
  I still need a part time job.
  
  Dee came in to San Antonio yesterday sometime. I hope she'll call
  soon and let me know what needs to be done, or when she's coming to
  visit.
  
  Tom's leaving for the Checker thing either Tuesday nite or Wednesday,
  will be gone until Mon or Tues next week. I'll miss him.
  
  X told me on Saturday that Tom was not a suitable match for me.
  WTF. I don't think I was even bitching about him when she said it.
  Here's the thing about all the men I know:
  
  They're all lazy. They all have different #1 priorities than me.
  They're all slobs. They all have annoying habits and cluttery hobbies
  that would make them tough to live with.
  
  "Not MY husband" says X. He works too much, smokes too much,
  doesn't do much around the house, doesn't read or have any
  intellectual interests...so the fact that he has no cluttery hobbies,
  well....so? He has no vices, but not many virtues other than being a
  hard worker & bringing home $.
  
  Whatever. It was out of line and I don't appreciate it. There is no
  ideal man. There is no guy out there that would be better for me than
  Tom, and lots that would be worse. I couldn't live with an uncle bob
  neatnick, or a workaholic/slob, or a spendthrift/slob or an
   dreamer/slob/toy collector, or a  clutter-
  collector, or a  slob/musician. The minuses on all those are
  more than the pluses. Tom may peeve me quite a bit, but the pluses
  are bigger than the minuses and I've learned to live with him for the
  most part.
  
  Maybe X thinks she'd be able to see (use) me more if Tom wasn't
  around.
  
  Taurus
  Horoscope (by astrocenter.com)
  Seek out the beautiful and marvelous today, dear Taurus! It is one of
  those times in which the cheap and shoddy just won't do. You need the
  Rolls Royce to take you to the ball tonight, not the beat up lemon
  that is falling apart. Travel in style today and dress as if you are
  flying first class all the way. There is a boisterous social element
  to the day that should make your waking hours pleasurable and
  possibly very romantic.
  
  Gemini
  Horoscope (by astrocenter.com)
  You are likely to fit in perfectly to whatever situation you find
  yourself in today, dear Gemini. Bring your thoughts and opinions to
  the table and let them be known. Whether you are in a current
  relationship right now or not, it is apt to be quite likely that you
  are going to want to flirt with every person who catches your eye.
  Keep things light and spontaneous and you can't go wrong.

 

634Re: routines, dreams, horoscopes

 

• Jun. 24, 2002

   

  Carl Jung said that all wild animals indicate latent affects
  (feelings and emotions that we do not readily deal with). They are
  also symbolic of dangers (hurtful and negative things)
  being "swallowed" by the unconscious. The interpretation of the
  animal in your dream depends on your relationship with it in daily
  life. Animals represent the qualities in our character or specific
  aspects of our personalities. They could symbolize our more intuitive
  and instinctive parts, or they could serve as messengers for the
  unconscious. Please look up each animal individually by name.
  
  

  635wishlists, etc.

   

  • Jun. 24, 2002

     

    Kurtas for $20
    
    http://www.eshakti.com/eshakti/home/default.asp?E=1
    
    http://www.internationalmale.com/HanoverAssets/intmale/product_images/
    sx46zz.jpg
    http://www.internationalmale.com/
    
    

     

6371 card tarot readings re: relationship, job

 

 

• Jun. 24, 2002

   

  Can't remember exact wording of question,something about how
  seriously should I take e and X talking about Tom?
  ===========================================
  Card: The High Priestess
  
  Women are known for having a powerful intuition, a strong sense of
  the undercurrent of emotions lying between the spoken and unspoken
  word. This card is full of the strong feminine energy of intuition.
  The High Priestess relies less on her connection to the physical
  world to make her judgements and complete tasks and more on her inner
  strengths and powerful insight.
  The High Priestess suggests that you look at problems intuitively,
  from another angle. There are times when we want to address a problem
  that we know exists, but it doesn't seem to be a knowledge that was
  achieved rationally. Despite its seeming irrationality, this becomes
  valuable insight to act upon. Sometimes it is just this type of
  insight that makes people seem like mind readers and allows them to
  solve small problems before they become large ones. The High
  Priestess qualities help identify the hidden influences in your life.
  A woman I know communicates telepathically to animals through
  pictures transmitted between them. She says we are all born with this
  ability, but when we learn to verbalize we quickly lose the ability
  or it becomes dormant. It might just be that this ability is called
  intuition and actually has a rational explainable basis. We are
  somehow open to pick up on people's thoughts and internal reactions
  in this manner along with our outward communications with them.
  The negative aspect to the High Priestess is emotional instability
  and a dependency on external cues and over-calculated actions. There
  might be atendency to be secretive and guarded to keep an initiate
  from learning too much before they are ready.
  The nun in the movie Dead Man Walking <http://us.imdb.com/Title?
  0112818> was a High Priestess character, guiding the convict to make
  a connection with his humanity, bringing his repentance and a higher
  awareness of his spirituality.
  In the movie Field of Dreams <http://us.imdb.com/Title?0097351> a
  farmer trusts in intuition and what seems like a dreamlike message to
  create a baseball field in his cornfield which becomes not only a
  baseball field of dreams, but a field of closure and healing for
  several important issues in his life and the lives of others.
  ===========================
  Then again, Elena is a codependent little sicko who seems to want me
  to go thru bad times so she can be there for me. Sort of like
  drowning kittens in order to rescue them. And Xtal...well, she's a
  user. And her idea of a good marriage seems to be one in which Mike
  works as much as possible, gives her all his money, and doesn't do
  much else.
  ==============================================
  
  How should I continue my job search?
  
  The King of Cups represents an individual who has repressed his
  emotions and dreams to be able to succeed in a world that appreciates
  material achievements. This individual has conflicting emotions
  regarding intimate relationships. On one hand there is a desire for
  closeness and commitment; on the other hand there is a fear of being
  contained and limited by these emotions. Confrontation is necessary
  to face fears and accept the growth that comes with emotional
  challenges.
  We see the King of Cups as an ingenious man, a light on his head
  representing his burning ambition and drive. He stares off into space
  completely detached from anything but his feelings. According to
  scientists bumblebees are too big to fly on their light wings and yet
  they do; so in that manner the bees flying through the air represent
  dreaming the impossible dream. A house stands behind him representing
  his worldly accomplishments.
  As a card of actions it might question motives and actions, ask that
  you face your fears of emotional commitment and re-examine your
  relationships from another perspective.
  In a negative light the card would suggest that an individual is
  dishonest, ruled by intellectual emotions and is possibly domineering
  and manipulative.
  The main character in An Officer and a Gentleman
  <http://us.imdb.com/Title?0084434> had many of the King of Cups
  attributes. He suppresses his ego in order to fit in and make it
  through officers' training and throughout most of the movie maintains
  his emotional distance in all his relationships until the end of the
  movie where he drops his King of Cups reserve.
  ===============================================
  
  
  "Confrontation is necessary to face fears and accept the growth that
  comes with emotional challenges."
  
  I need a job that lets me be me? What am I afraid of?

 

638 Re: Monday

 

•  

  I am thinking of sending this to X:
  Do you want me to not-invite Tom to 6 Flags next month?
  
  I'm really not sure where your comment on Saturday came from, about
  Tom not being suitable for me or whatever. Were you joking?
  
  If you were serious, I don't think it was necessarily something to
  bring up when and where you did, in front of the girls and
  everything.
  
  I am willing to listen/read whatever your opinions are once, and that
  is all. This is not a topic we will be discussing. Tom has been my
  sweetie for over 6 years now, we share a mortgage, and have a pretty
  decent relationship in which we are both adults.
  
  So if you have any concerns re: my health or well being in this
  relationship, I appreciate your concern and your friendship, I want
  to know what your concerns are, and I will listen to them, but this
  is not a topic that I expect to ever come up again. I will not put up
  with constant harping on my romantic choice. You will say what you
  think you need to say, and that will be the end.